Chapter Text
Han Seojun kept his eyes on you at all times, he couldn't believe you were there, back, as if nothing had happened, as if Seyeon hadn't suicide, you carried a smile on your lips, it seemed like you didn't feel any pain. But actually, it was the opposite, the night Seyeon ended his life, he took a part of you with him, he was your boyfriend, you knew that all those bullying rumors were lies, you tried not to let it affect him so much, but the hate he received was bigger than you. That same night you left without saying anything, you didn't answer any calls, any comments, you were the dead Idol's girlfriend and no one cared about what you felt at that moment, they only wanted information for their gossip pages, you went to a town where the Most people did not have access to the internet, that way you would be a stranger to them, and it worked, until you yourself decided to return to your old city, to your old high school, Saebom High, you knew that your old classmates were going to invade you with questions, but it's a risk you accepted, facing your problems sounded like the best option.
“She was Seyeon's girlfriend” there was the first murmur, you kept the smile on your lips, pretending that you didn't care.
Professor Junwoo walked through the door. “A new student joins the class today…”
“She's not new” Hyunkyu said.
“Yes, many of us here know her” Suah said.
“You understand what I meant” the professor said, he looked at you and motioned for you to get up from your seat and go to the front.
You had never felt ashamed before, you were an idol's girlfriend, you were used to people looking at you, but now it was different, because, although you couldn't read minds, you knew that everyone had Seyeon in mind when they looked at you.
“Introduce yourself” Professor Junwoo said.
Shortly after your introduction and you sat back down in your seat, the girl who previously mentioned that she knew you approached you.
“Hi, I’m Choi Suah” she said with a friendly smile.
“I'm... well, you heard my presentation” you said with a smile, causing her to laugh.
“I like you” she said, “And I bet my friends will like you too, one is there,” she pointed to a girl with a serious look, sitting a couple of seats next to you, “Her name is Kang Sujin, and my other friend’s name is Lim Ju Kyung, but she’s not here…”
“I would like to meet them” you said kindly.
You felt a gaze burning you, if looks could kill, Han Seojun would be your personal killer.
The class passed very quickly, your average was not bad, but it was not remarkable either, because like Seyeon and Han Seojun, you once dreamed of entering the world of fame, although unlike them it was not your voice that stood out, you liked to act, and you often dreamed of being an actress in K-Dramas, you appeared in several television commercials, but after Seyeon it was very difficult to be in front of a camera.
“So...why did you come back to Saebom?” Suah asked, snapping you out of your thoughts and bringing you back to reality, you were at Saebom High, with two of your new classmates, sitting on a bench while you guys were having lunch.
"Don't ask that" Sujin scolded her.
“No problem” you said, smiling, and you thought about your answer, “I came back because I missed it here...I really like this environment.”
After lunch time, his gym time arrived, and since you didn't know your schedule, you didn't have Saebom's sports uniform. That was a problem.
In the distance you saw a familiar figure, it was Gowoon, Seojun's younger sister, luckily for you, she was wearing a gym uniform, and she was more or less your size.
“Hey Gowoon” you walked up to her smiling. Before you left you and her had a very good friendship, and she didn't judge you when it happened.
“Hey” she smiled at you, “I didn't know you were back.”
“Yes, I'm back and looking forward to studying” you said jokingly, “Did you have gymnastics?”
“Yes, my class just finished” she said.
“You know what a strict coach is like, right?” you commented, “Would you lend me your uniform?”
Gowoon smiled, “Let's go to the locker room.”
You followed her to the locker room, she put on her usual uniform and gave you her gymnastics uniform.
“Thank you very much, Gowoon, you saved me” you gave her a quick hug and started walking towards the field where they trained.
Suah beckoned to you, she was next to Sujin, you went with them.
“Hello” you greeted them.
“Hi, where were you? You're lucky the coach hasn't shown up yet” Suah began to say.
“He's a very strict guy,” Sujin said. You nodded.
“I went to get a uniform, I know the coach is strict, I studied here before” you said with a grimace, “But I'm already here…”
Two minutes after you arrived, the coach appeared, had them do exercises to warm up their bodies and run around the field.
“This is so tiring” you said to Suah.
“And today the coach came in a good mood” she said.
When class ended, and you changed your uniform, you were waiting for the bus, your mind was filled with memories, Seyeon appeared in them, the school reminded you of him. You wished you had been there minutes before he did it, maybe you could have changed something.
You put on your headphones and played a song by him, the tears began to come out on their own, and so that the rest of the students waiting for the bus wouldn't see you, you decided to get out of there.
You began to walk, away from the bus stop, observing the streets that you once walked with Seyeon, and his life ended so quickly, so young, for a moment you wished you had left with him, but you knew you couldn't, and although you were not going to follow your dream of being an actress, you could still move forward, maybe work as a secretary like your mother, or be a lawyer like your father, but your life had to continue, for you it was not over yet. You crossed the street without looking at the sides, you didn't care that it was getting dark. And then the sound of a horn brought you back to reality, you reached the other side of the street and sat on a bench, thinking and thinking.
Then you saw a motorcycle parked outside a food joint, you recognized it, it belonged to Seojun, you thought about how he looked at you this morning and you got the bright idea to wait for him next to his motorcycle.
He left the premises, looked at you and rolled his eyes.
"What are you doing here?" His tone was cold.
“I want to talk to you” you said.
"About what?" he raised an eyebrow, looking at you in confusion.
“Seyeon” you said and his body tensed. He gave a sigh.
“Do you want to talk about how you weren't there for him when that stupid rumor came out or how you abandoned your friend without caring about his feelings?” He asked ironically, taking his helmet and putting it on, “Because if you want to talk about it, It's too late.”
You gave a sigh, grabbed his arm to stop him from getting on his motorcycle, and he pushed you aside.
“Leave me, don't look for me, you and I are not friends…” he said contemptuously.
Seojun got on the motorcycle, looked at you, and said something that made you burst into tears.
“I wish it had been you and not him.”
He started, leaving there, with a lump in his throat he began to drive home. Fighting back the urge to cry, what he told you wasn't true, he would never wish for something so horrible, he loved you, and as much as he wanted to hug you and talk about what it was like when Seyeon was still alive, he couldn't, you had been a bitch at the time leaving without thinking about him, you didn't deserve someone to miss you.
Your eyes couldn't stop crying, and you had no choice but to walk home, with your heart broken into a thousand pieces, you knew that Seojun was spiteful, but you never imagined that he would wish you death, he actually hated you.
You walked home, tried to calm down, and thought that maybe returning to the city wasn't the best decision, the way Han Seojun treated you was too cruel, you just wanted to fix things with him, it wasn't your fault that Jung Seyeon committed suicide, you did what you could, you were with him, but your mind was treacherous and the treatment that Seojun gave you was enough to think that maybe Seyeon's suicide was in your hands.
You sighed and went straight to bed, tomorrow would be a new day, and maybe it would get better.
It was difficult to fall asleep, but you managed to sleep.
The next day, when you went to the bathroom to take a shower, you looked at your face in the mirror, your eyes were quite swollen from having cried all night, you couldn't allow them to see you like that, they would invent rumors, you would be the center of attention, and you didn't want that, definitely not after your conversation with Han Seojun, he would make fun of you, humiliate you in front of everyone. After having showered and seeing that the swelling had not gone down, you went to your father's room and stole some sunglasses from him. You were going to look ridiculous, but it was that, or the little reputation you had would be ruined.
Once you were ready, you walked to the bus station, got on, and saw girls from another school there, they started gossiping about you.
“She's Seyeon's ex-girlfriend” they said, “I heard she left because he was a bully.”
You sighed, trying not to listen to her conversation. You felt like the whole world was against you, again.
You arrived at school, there were glances, murmurs, and you knew it wasn't going to stop.
You entered your classroom, you looked at Seojun, he looked at you and noticed your glasses, a thousand things ran through his mind, but he looked away from you, feigning indifference.
"What about those sunglasses?" Suah asked with an amused smile.
“I don't know, I think they look cool” you lied, smiling back, then looked at your seat with things that didn't belong to you.
“Ju Kyung did come today, and those things are hers” Suah said, reading your mind, “Look there she is.”
You turned to where Suah pointed, and saw a cute girl, who was carrying Suho's favorite juice in her hands, you saw how she approached him and you swore you saw a small smile on Suho's lips, you smiled at it, maybe they were dating and Suho was happy again, you were glad that at least one of you was happy.
The girl approached you, “Hi, I’m Ju Kyung!”
“Hi, I heard about you” you said with a smile.
“Me about you too” she said, smiling back.
Then you asked yourself, if she was in your seat, where would you sit?
And as if he read your mind, the professor Junwoo came in, he saw you standing.
“Han Seojun,” the professor said, Seojun looked up, “Can you bring a seat for your classmate?”
He reluctantly stood up and nodded, then left the classroom.
“You should go with him, lest he give you a bad seat…” Suah said.
Suah was right, you didn't trust Seojun, especially knowing that he hated you. You left the classroom, following him to the room next to the roof, where there were some old seats, they didn't throw them away because they were still useful, on occasions like yours, when there weren't many seats.
When you reached the entrance to the room, he realized you were there.
“The professor told me to come, if you were going to come with me you could have come alone” he said, you rolled your eyes, although he couldn't see it because of your dark glasses.
“I don't trust you, that's all” you said, entering the room.
"Wait!" Seojun said, but it was too late, the door closed behind you, “You are such a fool!” He said.
You frowned, and then you remembered, you studied there all your life, and you had forgotten that the door to the rooftop room shouldn't be closed because it's broken.
"I'm sorry!" you apologized, “I forgot! I was away for a year, do you forget?”
“Tell me you brought your phone” Seojun said.
You nodded. You took out your cell phone, and as if the Gods were playing tricks on you, it didn't turn on. Your phone hadn't charged overnight, you had listened to music on the way to school and that drained the battery.
“It's off” you said.
“Turn it on” he said obviously.
“The battery's dead, what about yours?” you asked.
“I left it in the living room” Seojun said, “Great, we're stuck here…”
“They'll realize we're not there” you said, not so sure of your words.
“Uh-huh, and while I have to spend time with you?” He looked at you with contempt, “And why are you wearing those stupid sunglasses? You know they went out of fashion since 2000, right?”
“It's none of your business” you said, sitting down in one of the seats, at least the living room had a small window that gave light. Seojun imitated your action, sitting next to you.
After a few minutes, bored and knowing that no one would come looking for them, because class had probably already started.
Seojun started mumbling a melody you hadn't heard before, was he singing?
“Are you singing?” you asked. Although it was pretty obvious,
“Yes, do you have a problem with it?” he asked defensively.
“No, keep singing” you said, “I like your voice.”
He looked at you.
Suho was playing the piano, ever since his mother died and his father stopped paying attention to him, if he ever did, he took classes in everything, martial arts, karate, violin, but one of the things he enjoyed the most was playing the piano. . , the fact that his hands could express what his heart wanted to say, was pretty good. And being able to show them to his friends was more gratifying.
“We should compose a love song” Seojun said.
Suho and Seyeon looked at each other with a mocking smile.
“Han Seojun, are you in love?” Seyeon asked.
“It's not normal that you want us to make a love song" Suho said, humoring Seyeon.
Seojun frowned, “No, it's just what's trending.”
He was lying. Actually, there was a girl he liked. You.
One afternoon after spending the day with his friends, he went to the cafeteria where you worked. He had seen you at school, but he had never paid attention to you, until that day when he went to buy coffee.
You were wearing the uniform, your hair tied in a ponytail, and despite your dark circles under your eyes, showing your tiredness, you had a smile on your face.
“Good morning, what do you want to order?” you asked. Your voice was sweet, beautiful. Seojun's heart raced, he was strange, he had never experienced anything like this.
“I'm not going to sing for you” Seojun said in a cold tone, ignoring the memory he had of the time you met.
“Yes, I understand that you hate me…” you said, looking away, your chest hurt, you remembered everything he had told you the day before, that he wished it had been you and not Seyeon, you gathered strength to face it, you two were alone, it was now or never, “Do you really wish it had been me who died?”
Your question took him by surprise, he didn't expect that.
He looked at you, he couldn't lie to you again.
“Don't say stupid things, of course not” he said, “I only said it because I was upset.”
“I never wanted to leave you, Seojun” you spoke, you took his hand, he turned to look at you. Even if he couldn't see your eyes, he knew you were crying by the tone of your voice.
“Then why did you leave?” He asked removing his hand from your grip.
“I couldn't stay here, this whole damn place reminds me of him, it just happened, I felt guilty...I was selfish by not thinking about you and Suho, but here I am, and if it's not too late...I'd like to “be friends again.”
Seojun looked at you, you sounded sincere, and he was too in love with you to leave you hurt.
He grabbed the sunglasses, removing them from you, he saw how swollen your eyes were, and he knew it was his fault.
“I'm an idiot” he said, “And I apologize to Seyeon for what I'm going to do.”
His words confused you, you didn't understand what he meant, until you saw him approach you, seeing your lips, he closed the distance between you, kissed you.
You closed your eyes, enjoying the moment, you had never wondered what it would be like to kiss Han Seojun, but if you had, you now knew the answer, kissing Han Seojun was equivalent to eating cotton candy, but also to riding a motorcycle. Emotions you never felt, as much as you loved Jung Seyeon, you had never felt anything like this.
“Han Seojun!” The professor's voice interrupted your kissing session. He was at the door, at least they had gone for you two, “Stay away from your classmate!”
You saw the professor, his look was indescribable, his cheeks flushed, as if he had never seen a pair of students kissing. Professor Juwoon was quite a character.
“She had something in her eye” Seojun said, giving you a look, seeking your complicity.
"Yes! It's not what you think..." you lied.
“We just…went back to class” the professor said.