Chapter Text
Kazutora was dreaming about his other life, the one spent in prison, the one without Baji, writing letters to the long-haired teen with no one to read them. Another page filled with the words that had no one to receive them, no one to reply to his nonsense. It’s not like ghosts could answer anyone.
He had his time at the library. The prison library wasn't much, books were old and mostly destroyed. He’d grabbed paper and a pencil from the guard. The clean slate of paper was always intimidating, he knew that no one would read it but him. Still words on paper held power. He pressed the pencil on the white page, the quiet sound of graphite leaving gray strokes oddly calming. No one was paying him any attention, the guard stood rigid at the exit and another inmate reshelved books nearby.
His letters followed the same pattern: apologising, self-blame, then blaming Baji for being stupid. Then came curses for Draken for forcing him to live this life. He’d end it all, but he needed to atone first. Twelve years in prison felt too short.
Chifuyu ,
Before his brain processed it, the name was already on the paper, his handwriting messy and shaky. He let the words spill out.
You’re probably surprised to get a letter from me. It’s selfish, I know. You’d rather forget I exist. But I want to thank you. For being Baji’s friend till the end, for being there where I failed.
A shaky breath escaped him. His hand pressed too hard, the pencil tip snapping. He took a moment to sharpen it again. What else could he say to Chifuyu?
I have a good therapist here. They’re patient, don’t feed me the whole “it’s not your fault” crap. Maybe because it's a prison… me being here proves it is my fault.
Therapy had helped him understand why Kisaki’s taunts about Baji’s “betrayal” wrecked him. He chuckled dryly. “Wrecked”? He stabbed the only person who loved him, who made him feel seen.
Anyway, how are you and Peke J? Still in school? Planning to keep studying?
I don’t know what else to write… With Keisuke, it was always stupid stuff. In juvie, he’d scribble about school, delinquent drama.
If you’re reading this, it means I sent it. Don’t feel obligated to reply.
I remember the scream you made when Baji died in your arms. I never wanted to cause that kind of pain.
I wish Mikey had finished me that day.
Wet spots bloomed on the paper. He hadn’t realized he was crying. Angry, he crumpled the page and threw it away. Pathetic. Crying over his own misery. But after a moment, he retrieved it, stuffing it into his pocket. Wiping his tears with his sleeve, he grabbed a fresh sheet.
My dearest Baji,
This should be the last letter. I need to accept there’s no way to reach you. (Though I said that last time, and the time before.)
I’m on laundry duty now… better than kitchen duty last week. The smell of clean sheets reminds me of us. Remember the arcade next to the laundromat? We’d dig for spare change in the machines until the owner yelled at us from ‘stealing’ what’s her. Wonder if it’s still there.
You’re everywhere I look. I see you in myself. Every song could be about you; every experience, I want to share with you. These letters prove it… there’s no one else I’d rather talk to.
I destroyed that chance. Myself.
You’d tell me to shut up and keep living. I will. For you. But I’ll bitch about it. It’s hard, my parents cut me off, I’ve got no one. But I’ll keep going.
I never realized what I felt for you was love. Clear love. You were my best friend, my first love. I regret never saying it. I wish I’d held you and told you: “My precious Keisuke.”
Maybe next life, we’ll just do laundry together?
I love you,
—Yours, Kazutora
All that he wrote was true. Therapist helped him to understand that, why Kisaki speaking about Keisuke betrayal… made him so emotional. He chuckled drily. emotional. He stabbed the only person that loved him and made him feel seen.
The sweet, soapy scent of laundry tugged Kazutora awake. He blinked into the dim room. Not prison. The pillow beside him bore a familiar nest of blonde hair. He touched his damp cheeks, inhaled slowly, then pressed his lips to Chifuyu’s head before slipping into the younger man’s borrowed clothes and leaving his room.
Upstairs, he hesitated before a wooden door, its metal plaque glinting: BAJI. His knuckles hovered. Three times, he almost knocked. Three times, his pulse roared louder. Would Ryoko-san scream at me again? But here - here, Baji was alive.
The quiet knock on the door was barely audible. He half expected for noone to be awake. Maybe it would be for the better.
- Kazutora-kun? - Ryoko-san cracked the door open, her hair dripping, robe hastily tired. He clearly interrupted her bath. - Good evening, Baji-san. Sorry for the late visit. - He smiled awkwardly before bowing his head. His throat felt tight, with head down he asked quietly. - Could I talk to… Keisuke? Just a minute? - He asked without lifting head.
She adjusted her robe, then bellowed - KEISUKE! - The sound nearly shattered his eardrums. Her eyes looked at him with…warmth? - I am glad you are okay, Kazutora-kun.
Then Baji barreled out, bandaged head, wearing his sleep T-shirt and all. - Tora! - He lunged, crushing Kazutora in a hug even though, man was hurt, his hug was still as strong as ever. Over his shoulder Kazutora caught Ryoko-san’s glance. Fond. Flustered. Before she pretended to study the wall.
- Ten minutes, Keisuke - she warned, vanishing inside the house. - Or I’ll ground you for another week. - She said.
Baji grinned, tugging on jacket. - C’mon. - he dragged Kazutora to the railing, closing the door behind himself. Their elbows brushing as they leaned into the night.
They were looking at the park beneath. - So how are you? I was scared - Baji said while leaning towards Kazutora. In answer he chuckled. - You? I wasn’t the one that got hit with a metal pipe - He gently touched the bandage on Baji’s head with a worried expression. Baji dismissed him with a hand movement. - this fucker, when I get hands on him. - Baji said with Conspiring voice, mostly for his mom to not hear it. His eyes furrowed and his eyes looked almost red in artificial light flickering on the corridor.
- Don’t worry, I destroyed Madarame- He chuckled and Baji reached for his friend’s hand,his thumb was moving over fresh scratches on his hand. Kazutora looked at their hands, feeling his ears burning from the hotness in them. Baji’s had a messy hair bun for sleeping.
- Baji… I came here because I had a dream. - He looked at the long haired delinquent and squeezed his hand. Baji’s brown eyes were filled with worry and Kazutora chuckled - It’s nothing bad… I mean the dream was bad, but I understood that I don’t know what the future is holding for us.. but I know what I want. - Kazutora smiled gently and faced Baji. It was scarier than facing the enemy. His eyes clashed with Baji. His golden eyes were soft and warm, while Baji’s were filled with anxious expectation and confusion.
- I want you and Chifuyu in my life. Baji.. I just want you guys to be by my side. I don’t care what I will be in that relationship. I can be just your friend. - He was rambling feeling more and more anxious, but then all of his worries disappeared as he felt hot lips on his. Keisuke kissed him and put hands in his hair. Baji pushed his tongue inside, pushing on Kazutoras tongue. Kazutora would think it was a dream. Another one. Imperfection of this kiss proved otherwise. There were a few teeth clashing, but it was better than he could expect.
After a moment they pulled apart, a small line of saliva between their lips. Their faces were red. Baji looked for a moment into golden eyes and embraced his friend. Kazutora took a sniff of a smell that was so well known to him. Baji was always smelling a little bit like petrol mixed with autumn wind. - Kazutora… I love you, you and Chifuyu. We will rent something… Me and Fuyu have part-work, we will find you something and then we can live together. - Baji started daydreaming, another delinquent was still shocked and took a sharp breath. He wasn’t sure how this conversation would go. He chuckled at Baji’s long time plans.
-Baji.. I love you, I want to be next to you no matter what. - he grabbed onto man's shirt and rested his forehead on Bajis. Baji blessed him with this mischievous smirk with a fang sticking out.
Baji pulled away and started showering Kazutoras face with smal kisses until Kazutora grabbed his face. - staaph! - Kazutoras face was red and his breath was hitched, Baji chuckled at the view and grabbed his friend's hips and brought him closer grinding over Kazutora, his hand going under his T-shirt. - Baji… -he whispered, holding his hands on the man's shoulder. He wanted to stop him, but there was no conviction in his movements.
They heard a knock and jumped away from each other, as Baji’s mom slightly opened the door. - Keisuke is cold and you went with shorts. - Baji looked at Kazutora with a smirk. - Can Tora stay for a night? - Keisuke asked while Kazutora signaled, no no no. Baji completely ignored his mom’s comment. Kazutora took a few steps back.
- Keisuke, you just came back from the ER. - The woman said with a defeated voice and looked at Kazutora to look for support.
-Baji… I mean Keisuke, I need to go. Bu thanks for invitation and see ya. - Kazutora spoke and Baji’s mom's expression brightened with a smile. - I'll go to Chifuyu… - Kazutora said, teasing quietly and Baji grabbed his wrist. - don't you dare. You can came to my room through Chifuyu's window. - He spoke so quiet it was barely audible for Kazutora. His mom cleared her throat. - you have a concussion, rest. We have whole life in front of us. - Kazutora said even tho bulge in his pants was painfully pressing on jeans.
Baji groaned, annoyed with the comment but not arguing further. He let go of Kazutora's wrist and came into the apartment, his mom standing by the door.
-Keisuke… Do you want to talk about something? - His mom asked slowly, looking at him with suspicion, he gave her side eye. He threw his jacket into the wardrobe. - about what? - he mumbled while going to his room but mom followed him.
-Kei, using condoms is really important even when there is no chance of pregnancy - she started and Baji felt blood flowing away from his penis and all of it to his face. - m.. Mom! What's so sudden?!
He felt his ears burning and grabbed a pillow to hide himself as he sat down on the bed. His mom sat on the bed next to him. - I know, boys your age.. - Baji squelched - M.. Mom! Please… Don’t! - She raised an eyebrow looking at her son.
-listen Keisuke, it's normal. I just want you to be safe. If it's with boys or girls. - Baji never expected his mom to be so sex positive and the allay, he wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. - I know! We had sex edu at school! - That was a lie, but he heard a lot from Shinichiro and other first gen of black dragons. Even if most of it was fake.
-I saw you and Kazutora, you are not little kids now. - she started but Keisuke stopped with a groan. - I know mom… I haven't got sex yet! Geez… I will be safe or whatever! You will get me another brain damage - he huffed and his mom took the pillow from him to look at the red face, she chuckled.
-Is it Chifuyu or Kazutora or someone else? - her eyes were piercing through and Baji laid down and covered his head and body with a blanket, but he still felt the weight of his mom sitting on the other side of the mattress. - mom! - he barked through the blanket, and she sighed defeated. - just remember about protection. - she patted his head through the blanket and left, Baji took his pillow back and pressed it on his face. Feeling a burning sensation on his cheeks. He couldn’t believe in one day he got hitted by metal pipe and then his mom decided to lecture him on safe gay sex.
Chifuyu woke up for a moment to notice that he was laying in bed alone. He yawned and heard the door open to Matsuno’s apartment, he lifted himself slightly - mom? - his voice sounded weak, it felt like a fight happened ages ago, but the clock on the wall confirmed that it was just a few hours ago. - it's just me! - Kazutora's head popped through the door with a smirk. - Nice clothing - Chifuyu noticed his pants and T-shirt on Kazutoras slim body. Kazutora snickered before joining Fuyu in bed.
They were laying in bed with their backs touching, neither of them were asleep. There were so many things happening all at once, all one after another. Kazutora's heart was still beating like crazy after a few minutes with Baji.
- Where were you? - Chifuyu asked quietly, to not wake up the older teen next to him in case he would be sleeping. Kazutora shifted to lay on his back, for some reason waiting for an answer made Chifuyu anxious.
Why am I anxious? Of course he went to talk to Baji. They haven’t got chance to talk to each other after whole mess, why do I have anxiety over the answer
- Baji. Needed tell him something. - he clarified with a calm tone, but the tone was something weird. Like Kazutora was sharing secrets but a Chifuyu was kept in another buble not allowed to learn. Blonde pandered for a moment and moved around in bed, trying to fix his position. It gave him a chance to think. His mind was only leading him to bad conclusions.
- what are you doing Matsuno? “ Kazutora voice sounded amused. - Trying to find a comfortable position. - he said offended, he wasn't sure what he felt, but he hated that Kazutora and Baji had past that he wasn't part of and now both of them have night meetings. He felt an arm around him as Kazutora brought him closer and put his head on his own chest. - Better? - older teen asked, it was slightly better. He still was… jealous? Am I jealous?
Chifuyu's cheeks were burning red. From the closeness and jealousy, or more of naming the emotion he felt. He couldn’t really explain who he was jealous of. He couldn't really move his head away, as Kazutora’s long fingers were caressing his hair. He could hear rhythmic heartbeat and he closed eyes and relaxed. - I just wanted to tell Baji about… My feelings to both of you - Chifuyu's eyelids were growing heavy as he listened to the calm tone of another man. He wanted to ask follow up questions but fell asleep, not comprehending Kazutora’s words. He wanted to talk about feelings? Stupid.
Kazutora kissed sleeping Chifuyu's top of head and closed his eyes. - silly… How could Baji ever abandon you? How could I? - he whispered with a soft voice as he played with blonde strands and followed Chifuyu's suit and went to sleep.
Chifuyu woke up, all cuddled to Kazutora. The other teen was splayed on bed. Blonde heard the dishes in the kitchen and felt hotness on his cheek. The door was cracked, he wasn't sure if that was how Kazutora left it or was it his mom opening it. He had to go to her, explain.
Chifuyu carefully untangled himself from Kazutora's limbs, pausing when the older boy mumbled something in his sleep. He pulled the blanket up to cover Kazutora's bare shoulders, noticing how peaceful he looked without his usual Kazutorish expression. Taking a steadying breath, Chifuyu grabbed his sweatpants from the floor and checked himself in the mirror - cheeks slightly flushed, but nothing too obvious.
The door creaked as he slipped out, immediately met with Peke-J's loud meow from beneath the kitchen table. Traitor , Chifuyu thought as his mother turned from the stove, one eyebrow already raised.
- Sit down, Chifuyu. - Her tone left no room for argument. He obeyed, folding his hands around the warm mug she pushed toward him.
Her fingers brushed lightly over the scratches on his face. - First, explain these. - Then came the real question, delivered with careful neutrality - And why is there a boy in your bed?
Chifuyu felt his ears burning. - it was just a small accident… - He said with the pout, he almost forgot about scratches on his face being a thing.
Chifuyu's grip tightened around the mug. -I thought you and Baji were… - She tilted her head, waiting. - You know... together. But now there's someone else?
His head snapped up. - Wait…you knew? About Baji?
A knowing smile curved her lips as she sat across from him. - I'm your mother. Of course I noticed. - She took a sip of her own tea before asking gently, - So. Who's your guest?
After explaining his mom,with as little details as possible his and Kazutora's situation and how Baji was in this, he went to the room with breakfast for the two of them. He entered the room where Kazutora was browsing his mangas and smirked seeing red Chifuyu. - sh..shut up. My mom made us food. - Blonde said with pout and sat next to Kazutora.
A few weeks had passed. Kazutora paced his small apartment, waiting for Chifuyu and Baji to arrive. He wasn't sure what they'd do tonight - their time together always followed the same comfortable pattern. Movie nights. Casual touches. The occasional cuddle on the couch that left his heart racing but never progressed further. Sometimes he caught Chifuyu watching Baji with that familiar longing, and the pang of jealousy surprised him. Of course Chifuyu would prioritize Baji, their bond was something sacred. Kazutora had learned not to expect more. He knew that Chifuyu had chosen to follow Baji Keisuke, and he was just an addition.
A knock startled him from his thoughts. He yanked the door open to reveal Baji mid-laugh, Chifuyu leaning against his shoulder. They spilled into the apartment in a rapid tornado of energy, Baji already talking a mile a minute about some bike parts as Chifuyu kicked off his shoes with ease.
Kazutora had prepared for every possibility - condoms discreetly tucked in his nightstand, lube in the bathroom cabinet. But he was content to wait.
They talked about some serious topics about Takemichi's time-leaping. It was still mind blowing for Kazutora, if not so much evidence he would call it bullshit..The violent flashes that once haunted Kazutora's nights and days, had nearly disappeared since the battle. Maybe he'd finally made peace with his darkness.
He studied his boys across the coffee table. Baji gestured wildly about motorcycle modifications, his sharp canines flashing as he spoke. Baji expressed that he needs to study biology more, since he'd committed to veterinary school. Chifuyu listened with rapt attention, green eyes sparkling like sunlight on water - so transparent with his emotions it made Kazutora's chest ache. Chifuyu already agreed to help Baji study.
For the first time, the thought came unbidden: I deserve this happiness too.
Shinichiro's death would always weigh on him. Mikey and Izana's forgiveness didn't erase that. But perhaps it was enough for now.
- Kazutora-kun? - Chifuyu's voice cut through his thoughts. He blinked, surprised to find tears on his cheeks.
- You two are so disgustingly gay it's making my eyes water - he joked, dodging the pillow Baji hurled at his face. Chifuyu's laughter filled the room as they tumbled into their familiar playfight, blankets tangling around limbs.
Later, much later, when the apartment had quieted and the streetlights filtered through the curtains, different sounds would emerge from the darkened bedroom. But for now, there was only this - the three of them, together, alive in this moment.