Chapter 1: An Unusual Assignment
Summary:
Master Obi-Wan Kenobi gets an unusual assignment from the Jedi Council.
Chapter Text
“For you, an assignment we do have, Obi-Wan. Essential, it is, that disclose it, you do not,” Yoda began a private Council meeting with only himself, Master Windu, and Obi-Wan present.
“What kind of assignment?”
Master Windu spoke: “We have captured a Sith. We would like you to gain her trust, teach her about the Jedi ways and find out whether she could be turned to the Light.”
“A Sith? Masters, forgive me, but trying to turn a Sith from the Dark Side, that is highly irregular. Why would we even attempt that? Isn’t that too dangerous?” Obi-Wan asked.
Yoda sighed.
“All your questions, I think, answered could be, only if with your own eyes, you see. Join me, Master Obi-Wan.”
Master Yoda gestured for Obi-Wan to walk with him towards a holocam. There, he played him some footage. Obi-Wan didn’t understand at first.
“Master Yoda, why are you showing me a holo of a…?” But then, it hit him, and he covered his mouth in slight shock. “That… That's the Sith? But… it’s a little girl!”
“Now you understand, Kenobi,” Master Windu stated. “We wouldn’t kill a youngling, of course, however, we cannot release her either.”
“How did you… how did she get here?” Obi-Wan inquired, still astonished.
“I encountered her on my mission. She was with an adult Sith who escaped. My assumption is that watching him attack me was part of her training. He left her there when I gained the upper hand. Afterwards, she was trying to fight me and spit insults my way the entire time. Other than that, she hasn’t told us anything – not even her name. I captured her and brought her with me. She was so aggressive I was forced to sedate her. Now,” Master Windu paused dramatically. “You are well aware, Master Kenobi, how I am with younglings – even the Jedi ones. They fear me, mostly. Therefore, Master Yoda and I concluded that I would not be the best choice for gaining the child’s trust.”
“And for that task, you, we have chosen,” Yoda added. “With young Skywalker, a good job, you did, although very challenging he used to be. And in the Crèche, experience you have. In you our trust we place.”
“Thank you, Masters. I will start right away and get acquainted with the youngling.”
Obi-Wan stepped into the quarters where the sedated youngling was sleeping. The first thing he noticed was how tiny she was. She couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 standard years old. She had brown hair and brown eyes, and had she stood among other younglings, he would have no idea where she came from. Hadn’t he known, he would never have guessed this child was a Sith. She looked so vulnerable.
In about half an hour, the little girl began to wake up, and when she realized she was in a strange place with a strange man, Obi-Wan could feel the panic rising in her small body. Suddenly, she jumped at him and tried to attack. Obi-Wan reacted quickly and with the use of the Force, he kept her far enough from him that she couldn’t reach him. For some time, the youngling struggled against it but soon, it tired her out.
“Young one, I understand you don’t know me, or this place, and this experience so far has been distressing for you,” Obi-Wan said, trying to stay as calm as possible. “I want you to know that I mean you no harm. You are at the Jedi Temple, and I can assure you, we don’t hurt younglings.”
“You lie!” the child, who had given up on struggling against Obi-Wan’s powers in the meantime, shrieked at him. “Jedi scum! You filty Jedi scum! Let me go!”
Obi-Wan would lie if he said he wasn’t surprised. Surrounded by Jedi younglings, he wasn’t used to hearing this kind of language from children’s mouths. The contrast between the Sith youngling’s small body and the way she shouted at him was unsettling. But he sensed that underneath all the anger and profanities, a terrified little girl was hiding.
The Jedi kept his distance from the child and sat down slowly to make himself look less threatening. Then, he looked her in the eye.
“Young one, I am going to sit here now. I promise you I won’t move toward you if you don’t try to escape or attack me again. You can’t escape these quarters – they are secured against it. I also think we have already established that you are not able to overpower me. So no need to try that again. Okay?”
The youngling kept staring at him like a cornered animal and growled a few more insults, but overall seemed less panicked than before.
“I understand you don’t want to be here and that you ended up here by no fault of your own. For that I am sorry. Still, we can’t let you go,” Obi-Wan paused. “I was assigned to – let’s say – keep you company. I will spend time here with you so that you’re not alone. And I apologize, I haven’t introduced myself yet. My name is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. You can call me Obi-Wan.”
“I won’t call you anyfing, you Jedi scum! You’we a liaw! You Jedi awe all liaws and sould be dead!”
Although Obi-Wan realized that she was only repeating words of the adults around her, his heart ached all the same. This youngling couldn’t even say her Rs yet and was already this dark and bitter.
“Do you heaw me?! You sould be dead!” she raised her voice again and the Jedi Master could see she was trying to make herself look bigger.
“Yes, I can hear you. And I don’t know about that, I enjoy being alive for the moment. Can you at least tell me your name? So that I don’t have to call you ‘young one’ all the time.”
“NO!!! I won’t tell you anyfing! Not even my kwiffin’ name! I hate you!” she yelled again.
“Alright then. Let’s change the subject. I brought you some food. Is there anything you’re allergic to? Something you can’t eat?”
“I won’t tell you! You’ll give it to me on puwpose because you’we evil and want me to die! And… and… and I won’t eat anyfing you give me because… because it’s poison!”
Obi-Wan sighed: “Okay. I shall eat it myself, then.”
He took the tray and began eating the meal. He remembered to make “hmmm” noises throughout to indicate the meal was delicious. Soon, he heard the little girl’s stomach grumble and despite her best efforts to seem indifferent, her eyes betrayed her as she was basically eating the food with them. Obi-Wan pretended he hadn’t noticed and after a few more bites, he exhaled and patted his stomach to show he was full.
“Ufff, I can’t eat anymore, I am going to lie down for a bit. I will be next door if you need anything.”
A few minutes later, Obi-Wan heard small steps in the next room. Carefully, not to be noticed, he peeked and saw the little girl eating the rest of the meal.
Small victories, Obi-Wan, small victories.
Chapter 2: Bonding
Summary:
Obi-Wan tries to bond with the tiny Sith.
Chapter Text
The next day, it struck Obi-Wan that apart from staring into a wall, eating her meals (which she fortunately did without protest now) or offending the Jedi, the youngling had nothing to do at the quarters. Therefore, he decided to borrow some books and arts supplies from the Crèche and bring them into her room. Sith youngling is still a youngling, after all.
“Hello there,” he greeted the child upon return and put the things on a table in front of her. “I thought you may be getting bored here… so I brought you a few things that might interest you.”
The youngling observed the books and arts supplies for a moment and looked perplexed.
“What’s dat?” she pointed at some of the stuff cautiously, while distrust was radiating from her.
“These are crayons and a coloring book. I brought them for you,” Obi-Wan explained and was glad the child at least began to communicate with him.
“What’s it fow?”
“Wh… what do you mean, young one?”
The little girl seemed independent for her age and didn’t need help with anything in the past few days. All the more surprising her reaction to Obi-Wan’s simple “present” was.
“What’s colowing fow? Why do you want me to do colowing?” she asked, frowning. “What Jedi twick is this?”
“Trick? What trick, child? That’s what younglings of your age usually do for fun. Like this, look,” the Master explained and used one of the crayons to color a small piece of paper. She at least let him get a bit closer while he was showing her. “Tell me… what do you do for fun with… well, where you come from?”
“No fun. I need to be twaining!”
“Okay. And… what happens when you’re good at your training? When it goes well, and you don’t have to train that much? What do you do then?”
For a while, the little girl seemed puzzled again. Then, she gave Obi-Wan a piercing look and said:
“When I do as I’m told, I get my food.”
At that moment, her words sent shivers down Obi-Wan’s spine. Do the Sith starve their children when they don’t perform well enough? He stayed silent for Force knows how long and then, carefully, asked another question.
“And… what happens if you don’t do as you’re told?”
The youngling broke eye contact immediately and turned away from him.
“Young one, I…”
“Go ‘way, Jedi! I don’t want you hewe! Go whewe you came fom!” she hissed and Obi-Wan was hit by a wave of fear and anger from her Force presence. Despite her harsh words, the Jedi Master once again felt how young she was.
“Okay, okay…,” he replied softly. “I will be in the living room if there’s anything you need. And I’ll definitely return later with your dinner... Here, you get your meals no matter what you do or don’t do, little one. I promise.”
Obi-Wan gave the Sith youngling her space and tried again in a few hours. He set the tray with her dinner on a table in front of her and was relieved when she began eating. He was also relieved that she didn’t seem like she was going to start yelling at him right away again. So, he sat on the floor next to the small table and decided to try talking to her once more.
“Young one, I would like to apologize for my question before. I know it upset you. That wasn’t my intention, and I am sorry. It’s okay if you don’t want to answer my questions, I won’t be angry. I … I was only trying to understand better who you are and where you come from.”
The little girl didn’t say anything but kept looking at him while finishing her dinner. Obi-Wan glanced around the room and his attention was captured by the crayons which he had previously brought. The reason why they caught his attention was their position – they were placed differently than when he had left before, and the same could be said for the pieces of paper. She used them, Obi-Wan thought, and a faint smile appeared on his face.
“I can see that you tried using the crayons,” the Jedi Master remarked and waited for her reaction.
“Hmm,” a little voice replied.
“Can I… ehm… can I take a look at what you’ve drawn?”
“…’kay,” the child gave him a hesitant permission.
Obi-Wan came closer very slowly and knelt down next to the table, making sure he didn’t seem threatening to the little girl in any way and that she had enough personal space. He carefully took the piece of paper in his hand and brought it closer to himself. It was apparent to Obi-Wan that the youngling didn’t have much experience drawing as her picture was quite different from the ones her peers in the Jedi Temple Crèche usually made. It bore a resemblance to pictures made by younger children. There were a few shapes Obi-Wan couldn’t make out and then a more detailed shape somewhat resembling a four-legged creature. It also struck the Jedi Master that the child didn’t use most of the colors. She only used black and grey.
When Obi-Wan looked up, he realized that the little girl had probably been watching him the entire time. Once their eyes met, she looked down quickly, as if she was ashamed and awaiting judgement. A mix of anxiety, embarrassment and doubt could be sensed around her, and she was clutching on her tunic nervously. Obi-Wan’s expression softened.
“Little one, I very much like your drawing,” he smiled at the small form in front of him and pointed at the more identifiable part of the picture. “Can you tell me what this is?”
“Owbak,” the youngling whispered after a moment of silence.
“An orbak, wow,” Obi-Wan deliberately exaggerated with his voice. “Have you ever ridden one?”
The child shook her head.
“And would you like to try?”
She nodded.
“Well, you might one day,” Obi-Wan said with a warm smile. “Your drawing is beautiful. Would you like to keep it or can I?”
“Why do you want it?” she asked, frowning at him.
“Because I like it. I think you did a very good job.”
The little girl observed him for a few moments and Obi-Wan could see how perplexed she was by someone giving her praise. It was heartbreaking. When he added “well done”, she stopped fighting it and a small, shy smile appeared on her face.
“Okay. Hewe,” she said and moved the piece of paper back to him.
“Thank you, I appreciate it. And thank you for letting me take a look at it in the first place, young one.”
Obi-Wan got up and was ready to give the child space again, when suddenly…
“Tewa,” a small voice uttered.
“What?”
“Tewa. My name’s Tewa. You don’t have to call me ‘young one’ all the time anymowe,” the child explained, starting to feel a little more comfortable around the man.
Obi-Wan felt relief wash all over his body and mind. Finally. The Sith youngling was communicating with him. He was also slightly amused by the little girl repeating his reason for wanting to know her name.
“It’s nice to meet you, Tera,” he smiled and crouched back down. “You have a beautiful name. I’m glad you told me.”
“Hmm,” she made a vague sound, not knowing what to say.
“Now, do you remember my name?”
“O… Obe-Nan?” she asked tentatively.
“Very close, Tera, very close,” he said softly. “It’s Obi-Wan.”
“Okay.”
“Tera, how old are you?” the Jedi Master risked asking another question.
“Fi… six now,” she replied, indicating it had been her birthday only recently. “How old awe you?”
“I am 40 ,” Obi-Wan answered truthfully and when the child didn’t continue the conversation, he said something about the time and going to bed. He didn't want to overdo it.
It was the first evening the youngling wasn’t completely shutting him out or yelling swearwords his way. Moreover, he knew her name and age, and she even let him take her drawing. Small victories again.
Chapter 3: Accidental Discoveries
Summary:
Obi-Wan discovers something about little Tera.
Chapter Text
That night, Obi-Wan was sleeping when suddenly, he was woken up by sounds coming from the youngling’s room. He got up and walked next door quietly, trying not to startle her. Tera seemed to be asleep, but was restless and from time to time, small whimpers escaped her mouth. Probably a nightmare, Obi-Wan thought to himself, and remembered his long-gone days with child Anakin. She wasn’t Anakin though, and Obi-Wan decided to be much more careful about his next move. Therefore, he refrained from waking her up or attempting any kind of physical contact. Instead, he sent Tera calming waves through the Force which seemed to pacify her.
It was daybreak and the rising sun was beginning to shine its first light into the room. Obi-Wan was ready to return to his bed for an extra hour, when all of a sudden, he spotted something. In her sleep, Tera’s nightclothes rolled up a bit and enabled the Jedi Master to notice a disturbing sight. Her arms where essentially covered in bruises of different colors – some new, some almost healed. To Obi-Wan, it seemed like a pair of adult hands was repeatedly and violently gripping her. Carefully, Obi-Wan removed the covers to inspect her uncovered calf to find out it was in a similar state, as if it had been beaten brutally.
Repulsed, the Jedi Master had to step out of the room. He was running his hand through his beard and trying his best to release his emotions to the Force but was only partially successful. How could anyone do this to a little girl? Obi-Wan was used to encountering cruelty – as a Jedi, he saw it all the time during his missions. But seeing an abused child wasn’t getting any easier, even after all these years.
From the beginning, Obi-Wan had suspected that Tera’s upbringing – if you could call it that – was anything but appropriate for a youngling. There certainly had been hints – the adult Sith escaping and leaving her with his enemy, Tera talking about receiving food for obedience, the outburst after being asked what would happen to her in the opposite case, Obi-Wan not sensing any homesickness in Tera’s Force presence, her intense feelings of fear and shame when he had been looking at her drawing… But now, he had it confirmed. This little girl had been abused both mentally and physically by her Sith guardian(s).
He wished to go back into her room and hug her, tell her he would keep her safe. However, he knew that was a bad idea. Tera needed much more time to begin trusting him to that extent. For now, he decided not to mention it to her and try to go on as if he hadn’t discovered anything. He only hoped he would be able to.
The next day, Obi-Wan managed to pretend he didn’t know anything and attempted to bond further with Tera. She wasn’t as communicative as the evening before, when she had even asked questions and told Obi-Wan her name by her own choice. At least though, she wasn’t disregarding him completely and didn’t protest when he offered to eat lunch together at the same table. In the middle of their meal, Obi-Wan got up to pour himself a glass of water, when suddenly, he heard a loud noise and subsequent shattering of glass. When he quickly returned to the adjacent room, he saw a mug broken on the floor. He exhaled, relieved nothing worse had happened.
“Oh, it’s okay, things like that happen. Let’s clean it up.”
When he crouched down in front of the little girl to do that though, he realized that Tera was completely frozen on the spot. She was staring down at the broken mug with wide eyes and her breathing was fast and shallow.
“Tera? Tera? Tera!” he said more firmly but careful not to raise his voice or startle the child in a different way.
Still, that was all it took. The little girl’s eyes filled with tears she was desperately trying to hold back, she began hyperventilating and mumbling in terror.
“Sowwy, sowwy, I’m sowwy, I – I – I – I’ll clean it up. I’m sowwy, I make it bettew, I didn’t mean to, I’m sowwy. I b-bwoke it, I was b-b-bad, I’m sowwy, I’m so-so s-s-sowwy.”
“Hey, hey, little one, it’s okay. Shhh, it’s okay, it happens, it was an accident. I’m not mad at you, Tera, shhh, shhh,” Obi-Wan attempted to soothe the youngling.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t very successful and soon realized she was in a state of sheer panic which meant she wasn’t able to listen to anything he was saying. She rambled further and because she wasn’t hearing his words, he decided to calm her down in a different way. He gently grabbed her shoulders to capture her attention and moved her to sit down on a chair. That briefly made her panic even more, as she expected physical punishment. And a very harsh one, judging from her reaction and the bruises Obi-Wan had seen during the night.
“P-p-please, d-d-don’t huwt m-me, so-sowwy, sow-wy, sowwy. I – I – I w-won’t do it ag-g-gain, I was b-bad, I’m vewy vewy so-so-sowwy…,” she sobbed.
Obi-Wan’s heart was breaking into million pieces but that wasn’t the important thing right now. He knelt in front of the child, took both her hands, and placed them on his chest, where he held them tight. He kept breathing in and out slowly and instructed Tera to do the same. Throughout that, he was also sending her calming waves through the Force.
“In…,” he said. “And out. In… and out. And in… and out.”
Obi-Wan didn’t know how many times they had to repeat this exercise. After what felt like ages, the youngling finally began to calm down and breathe somewhat normally.
“There you go, dear, there you go. Good girl. Good girl… It’s okay, nobody’s going to hurt you. It’s all over now,” he soothed, giving her a soft smile, and rubbing her tiny hands, which were still pressed to his chest, with his thumb.
When Tera calmed down, she realized what was going on and that the Jedi Master was too close to her. She quickly slipped her hands out from under his, wiped away her tears and leaned back in the chair. Obi-Wan understood her body language and stepped back slowly, giving her more space but careful not to make any rapid movements.
Then, the little girl crouched on the floor and began cleaning the glass fragments with her bare hands. Obi-Wan gently stopped her and brought out a broom and a dustpan, so that they could clean in safely. He offered that he would do it himself or they could leave it to a cleaning droid. She shook her head fiercely at that though, so Obi-Wan let her help him, not wanting to argue with her. After the cleaning, Tera retreated onto her bed and hugged her knees with her arms. She was clearly still distraught by what had occurred and Obi-Wan wished to help her. Yet, the youngling’s body language was giving him all the signs of “I want to be alone”.
“Tera, would you like to be by yourself right now?” he checked softly.
The child nodded, still not facing him.
“Okay. That’s okay. I just… want you to know that I am not mad at you in any way. Whenever you wish for me to come back, or want to join me next door, I will be happy to spend time with you again.”
Chapter 4: Bedtime Stories
Summary:
Little Tera can't fall asleep and Obi-Wan tries to help.
Chapter Text
Tera spent the rest of the day alone. Obi-Wan came to check on her a few times and brought her dinner in the evening, but she kept refusing everything. The Jedi Master felt helpless. Am I back to square one with this child?
Later in the evening, Tera went to bed by herself and when Obi-Wan peeked inside her room, she turned her back on him, so he respected her wishes and didn’t come again. A couple of hours later when he himself headed for his bed, he heard noises from Tera’s room. He slowly walked inside and saw the little girl tossing and turning under the covers, clearly too agitated to fall asleep. It was late for a six-year-old to be awake, so he carefully approached her bed and sat on a chair next to it.
“Hello there, Tera. Are you having trouble falling asleep tonight?” he inquired softly.
The youngling didn’t reply and after glancing at the Jedi briefly, she hid her head under the covers. Obi-Wan sighed.
“You know… when my former Padawan – his name is Anakin – was younger, he often had the same problem. His mind was just too restless and kept him awake at night,” Obi-Wan reminisced. “Soon, we found out that what helped calm him down was reading... We have a story book here. Would you like to try that? Maybe it would help you, too.”
Tera peeked at him from under the covers and whispered, a bit dejectedly:
“Can’t wead yet…”
“Yes, that’s what I assumed. Luckily, I can,” Obi-Wan smiled at the child. “How about I read you a story?
“Hmm… awwight.”
“Alright,” Obi-Wan turned on the night light and took one of the books, which he had previously brought. For a few moments, he contemplated asking the six-year-old whether she had ever been read to but decided against it. One reason being that he probably already knew the answer. “Close your eyes, Tera, and try to focus on my voice, okay? Okay, let’s begin. Ehm… ‘The Adventure of a Little Bantha. Once upon a time, there was a little bantha called…”
In the meantime, Tera tried to calm her mind and listen to Obi-Wan’s reading. She was still partially hiding under the covers but occasionally, she peeked out to observe the man who was telling her the story. His voice and his overall presence felt warm and… safe, somehow. But… father said that all Jedi are evil. That they are Jedi scum and should be killed. That she is supposed to hate them and dedicate her life to fighting them. But… Mister Obi-Wan didn’t seem evil at all. He smiled and spoke to her in a calm voice. Not the cold and scary calm that she knew from home but… but… but a warm calm that was soothing. And… he wasn’t mad when she yelled at him and told him ugly things. He didn’t hit her even when she broke something and made a mess. He brought her food even when she was bad. And… and… and he said her picture was beautiful and… wanted to keep it. And now, he was reading a story to help her fall asleep. Is that what evil looks like? Tera was confused and conflicted but soon, the exhaustion overpowered her, and her eyelids were starting to feel heavy. Instinctively, she put her thumb in her mouth and gradually, she drowsed into slumber.
“…and they lived happily ever after.”
Obi-Wan finished reading and closed the book. He took a look at the youngling to confirm his plan had worked and she was indeed sleeping. When he caught a sight of the thumb in her mouth, his heart ached once again. Tera looked even younger than she actually was, and it occurred to the Jedi Master that she had never broken out of the habit probably because there hadn’t been anyone to help soothe her in her time of need. Obi-Wan briefly imagined even younger Tera, beaten, and crying herself to sleep, with thumb-sucking as the only means to calm herself. He got lost in thought for a moment after which he carefully leaned forward and, as gently as he could, stroked her tiny hand with his.
"Goodnight, little one."
Chapter 5: Attempts at Hand-Holding
Chapter Text
The next evening, Obi-Wan noticed that the little girl kept walking around the table and looking at the books, whilst also glancing over at him. He had to stop himself from chuckling out loud because he knew exactly what she wanted. She was too shy (or scared) to ask him for another bedtime story.
“Would you like me to read to you again, Tera?”
The child nodded.
“Alright. Get in the bed, then,” Obi-Wan instructed and sat in the same chair as the night before.
The little girl did as she was told and soon, she was under the covers, waiting for the Jedi Master to start reading.
“Now… which book are we going to read tonight? This one?” he showed Tera one of the books. “Or this one?”
The youngling considered her options for a moment and then, surprisingly, chose neither of them. Instead, she pointed at the table where a third book was placed.
“Oh, that one? We read this one yesterday, dear. And it’s a short book, it only has one story in it which we already finished,” Obi-Wan explained.
“Can you… wead it again?” the little girl asked hesitantly.
Obi-Wan frowned a bit, surprised by the request: “Again? You would like to hear it one more time?”
“Yeah,” a tiny voice replied.
“Okay. Do you remember what the book is called?”
“Little Banfa on an Adventuwe?” she whispered, as if she was worried she had remembered it incorrectly.
“That’s right, Tera. ‘The Adventure of a Little Bantha’. Alright then. Once upon a time, there was…”
Obi-Wan began reading and a few pages later, he noticed the child putting her thumb in her mouth again. He stopped reading and gave her an affectionate look.
“Does putting fingers in your mouth help you fall asleep, little one?”
The youngling hurriedly took her thumb out and intertwined her hands nervously as if she was expecting admonition.
“No, no. It’s okay, dear,” Obi-Wan reassured her promptly. “You don’t have to stop. I don’t mind. I just… I was wondering whether I could help you somehow… to feel more comfortable.”
Tera didn’t respond and Obi-Wan noticed she was anxiously clutching her own hand and letting it go over and over again.
“Ehm… Anakin – I told you about him yesterday – wanted me to hold his hand sometimes before going to sleep. He used to say it made him feel safe. Would you like to try?”
A frightened expression appeared on the little girl’s face: “No. No, no, no. Huwts.”
“Hurts?” Obi-Wan asked, baffled by her statement. “Tera, handholding doesn’t hurt. Wait, what… what do you think it means?”
The child stayed silent but slowly gripped her own forearm with her hand.
“Huwts,” she whispered.
Obi-Wan linked her action with the bruises he had previously discovered. Is violent gripping and dragging the closest thing to handholding she has ever known?
“Tera, darling, listen to me. This,” he gestured to his own forearm. “This is not what I meant. I saw your bruises, I… I don’t know exactly what they did to you but… but it wasn’t okay, whatever it was. It’s not okay to hit younglings or hurt them in any other way. And I would never do that to you. Ever.”
“But I was bad, I… I desewed it.”
“No, little one. You did not. No child deserves this, no matter what they do.”
Obi-Wan was trying his best to maintain his calm. He didn’t want the little girl to pick up on his anger because she would definitely interpret it as him being mad at her. Tera was carefully observing him, not truly believing his words. Obi-Wan had seen his fair share of abused younglings before and this was their typical reaction when an adult told them that hurting them wasn’t okay. Doubt. Disbelief. Because… how could it be so wrong when the closest to them had done that all their life? It just couldn’t be, could it?
“I’ll tell you what. Let’s try it, alright? And if you don’t like it, we can stop whenever you want.”
Obi-Wan slowly moved his hand towards the child, careful not to startle her, and laid it on the bed, palm up.
“Just put your hand in mine, I promise I won’t do anything. I won’t grab it and it will not hurt.”
Tera stared at his hand for what seemed to be ages. Obi-Wan’s heart was breaking at how intense her fear of physical contact was. He could feel it through the Force. He was patient though, and after a few minutes, it paid off. It was a relief to feel her small hand finally touch his. However, once their fingers connected, Tera yanked her hand away again with a gasp, as if the feeling of touching another human being was too much to handle. A moment later, she repeated the whole process again. And then again. And again. Obi-Wan let her, not moving his hand at all, and patiently waiting for her to get more comfortable with the feeling. Finally, she left her tiny hand in his, not yanking it away immediately. Only at that point did Obi-Wan resume reading while carefully brushing his thumb over tiny knuckles, even though he wasn’t certain whether Tera was really listening. Her gaze was fixed at their hands as if the gentleness of it was the Eighth Wonder of The World.
When Obi-Wan finished the story, he noticed that Tera was still awake, though her eyes were already closing.
“Little one, would you like me to keep holding your hand until you fall asleep?”
“Yeah,” a small whisper escaped her lips. “Doesn’t huwt.”
“Well, I promised, didn’t I?” he smiled. “Good night, Tera.”
“G’night, Mistew Obi-Wan.”
Chapter 6: Nightmares and Accidents
Summary:
Tera has a nightmare and panics. Obi-Wan helps.
Chapter Text
That night, Tera was having a horrible nightmare. She dreamt about being back with her father and his people, about not doing something right and getting punished for it. Just when her father was grabbing her violently by the neck and throwing her in a small, dark room by herself, she suddenly woke up. She felt tears well up in her eyes and held back her sobs so that nobody would hear. Because back home, that would lead to another punishment.
Tera was beginning to calm down a bit but then, she felt something. No. Oh no no… Oh no no no no! She moved the covers away to confirm her worst suspicion… It was true. During her nightmare, she got so scared she wet herself. Seeing the wet area both on her nightclothes and her bed, Tera started to panic. The memories of what had happened to her in the past when her father had discovered her accidents flooded her mind and she wasn’t able to think straight. The tears were unstoppable now. She quickly got out of her bed and began searching her room for something to dry her nightclothes and bedsheets with. Yet, she was in such a state of panic that she ended up mindlessly pacing around the room and accidentally making noise.
Suddenly, she heard steps and subsequently, the sound of an opening door. At that moment, a tremendous amount of fear flooded both her body and mind, and all she was able to do was to get on all fours and try to hide under the bed. No. Oh no no no no. There wasn’t enough space under the bed! Tera was sobbing uncontrollably at this point, while frantically crawling on all fours away from the person who had entered the room. No! She was too late! Those thoughts were the only thing on her mind when two large, strong hands grabbed her. Tera screamed and sobbed and unsuccessfully tried to fight her way out of the grasp. But, to her surprise, these strong arms didn’t throw her against a wall, hit her or worse. They just held her against a large, warm body.
Obi-Wan was woken up at roughly 3 o’clock in the morning by strange sounds coming from Tera’s room. He got up to see what was happening. When he entered the room, all he could see was the little girl getting on all fours and crawling frantically around the room, clearly wanting to hide from him. She was crying hysterically, and he could sense how absolutely terrified she was.
“What’s going on, little one? Come here, it’s alright.”
Obi-Wan grabbed the youngling as gently as he could and held her in his arms, stroking her back and murmuring softly into her ear. Tera trashed against his body and sobbed, clearly expecting something terrible to happen.
“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay, dear. I won’t hurt you. You’re safe. You’re safe now. What is the matter?”
Tera didn’t answer though and kept struggling against the Jedi. A few moments later, Obi-Wan understood what the problem was – when repositioning Tera, he felt the wet fabric of her nightclothes and then noticed the wet stain on the bed.
“Oh... Oh, darling. That’s okay. Are you scared I will hurt you because you’re wet? I won’t punish you for that. I would never do that. Ever.”
The child wasn’t hearing him though, she was too panicked to take in his words. So, Obi-Wan did what he knew from his crèche duty – he rocked her like a much younger child, pressing a few kisses to her temple, hoping it would work. And wondering whether anyone had ever done this for her. Has anyone ever carried her, rocked her, at least when she was a baby? Obi-Wan once again caught himself not wanting to know the answer.
After what seemed to be ages of panicked sobbing and fighting against a much larger person, Tera suddenly felt gentle rocking and bouncing. She was still too frightened to understand the situation as a whole, but the movements calmed her down enough to stop trashing and become aware of the soft voice talking to her.
“You’re okay, sweetheart. Shhh, you’re alright. I’m not mad. You’re with me now… you’re with Obi-Wan. I never hurt younglings, darling. You did nothing wrong. Shhh.”
Obi-Wan… Mister Obi-Wan, Tera remembered. She was with Mister Obi-Wan. Not with father. And Mister Obi-Wan kept saying she was safe, that he wouldn’t hurt her. Could he be telling the truth? Tera was confused and still agitated but the swaying and soft whispers made her believe him, if only just a little. Mister Obi-Wan kept saying all those words she didn’t know – sweetheart, darling. Tera didn’t know what their exact meaning was, but he kept repeating them with so much affection in his voice that they had to be nice, didn’t they? He was also doing this thing with his mouth where he kept pressing his lips to her head. And it made this quiet “mwah” sound. Tera had no idea what it was, but it was pleasant. It made her feel wanted and cared for. She gradually let herself relax a little bit in the Jedi Master’s arms and slowly, even her sobs subsided.
“There we go,” Obi-Wan whispered soothingly and pressed another kiss to her temple. “There we go, darling. It’s okay. You’re okay.”
Tera listened to his words and carefully lifted her head to look at the man. Then, she quickly looked down again. Eye contact was still too much.
“S-s-s-sowwy.”
“There is nothing to apologize for, little one. Accidents happen.”
“I… I… I… will m-m-make it wight. I… I’ll m-make it dwy,” Tera stuttered and pointed at her bed.
“There is no need for you to clean anything right now. We will get a cleaning droid to help us tomorrow, okay?” Obi-Wan offered, bouncing the child again to comfort her.
“B-b-but…”
“No buts,” the Jedi argued softly. “You don’t have to worry about it. I am not mad. And you are not in trouble.”
The little girl looked up at him again.
“No twouble?”
Obi-Wan couldn’t help but kiss her forehead gently. Her thin, soft voice was heartbreaking and adorable at the same time.
“That’s right, darling. No trouble.”
“N-not mad?”
“No, I’m not mad, sweetheart,” he reassured the child. “Why don’t you get cleaned up in the fresher and I’ll go find some new night clothes for you, hm?
Tera agreed hesitantly.
After using the fresher and changing her clothes, she attempted returning to her room.
“Little one, where are you going?” Obi-Wan asked. “Come here, you will be sleeping in my room tonight. Your bed is dirty and there’s no other place to sleep in your room.”
“B-but I can go back thewe, Mistew Obi-Wan,” Tera replied and pointed at her room. “It’s okay it’s not dwy. I can… um… I can go back thewe.”
Obi-Wan crouched down in front of her slowly.
“No, darling. You will not. Let’s go to my room, alright?” he said, offering the little girl his hand.
After a moment of hesitation, she took it, and he led her into his room.
“B-but… it’s youw woom,” Tera uttered, sounding a bit guilty.
“It is. But that’s no problem. You’re welcome in my room,” Obi-Wan reassured, helping the child onto his bed and tucking her in. “There we go.”
“Mistew Obi-Wan, y-you can… um… you can have youw bed. I can seep on the fwoow.”
The Jedi Master sighed.
“No, you’re not sleeping on the floor, Tera. I want you to sleep here, alright?”
“Awwight… Mistew Obi-Wan.”
“You don’t have to call me that, little one. You don’t have to call me Mister.”
“Um… s-sowwy. Sowwy.”
Obi-Wan exhaled.
“No… no, darling. There’s nothing to be sorry for. I only thought that Mister Obi-Wan sounds a bit too formal, doesn’t it? If you’d like, you can call me just Obi-Wan.”
“O-bi-Wan,” Tera repeated carefully.
“Yes. Or Obi. That’s what Anakin used to call me when he was a youngling.”
“O-bi… O-bi-Wan… O-bi,” the little girl whispered, partly to herself to test it out.
“Yes, that’s right,” he smiled at her. “Would you like me to hold your hand again?”
Tera nodded and slipped her small hand into Obi-Wan’s. Obi-Wan immediately began to caress her tiny fingers with his thumb.
“Tera, did you have a bad dream earlier?”
“Yeah… it was scawy. It was weally scawy,” the child whispered, sounding even smaller than she actually was.
“I know. But it’s all over now. Would you like to tell me what it was about?” Obi-Wan prodded gently.
“No!” Tera refused. Then, realizing what she had done, she gasped and quickly shrank into the bed, as if expecting punishment again. “S-sowwy. Sowwy.”
“It’s okay, darling. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Obi-Wan soothed softly. “It’s okay to say no… No is okay.”
“No is okay?” Tera asked incredulously. “You’we not mad? No twouble?”
“Of course, dear. No trouble.”
“Not mad?”
“I’m not mad. That’s right,” the Jedi smiled kindly at the little girl, still caressing her tiny fingers.
“Obi-Wan? Can you… can you… um… wead me the stowy again, pease?”
“The same one?”
She nodded.
“Alright. You like the story very much, don’t you?”
“Yeah. Because… um… because no one huwts the wittwe Banfa. Safe. It… it’s aways the same, Obi. The Banfa is aways safe in the end.”
Obi-Wan’s chest tightened. Of course, that’s the reason she loves it so much and wants him to repeat it every night. It makes her feel safe.
After the reading had been finished, Obi-Wan looked the child in the eye and said:
“Try to sleep now, okay?”
“Obi? If I seep in youw bed, whewe… whewe… whewe do you go?”
“Just over there, sweetheart. On the couch. See? It’s just over there. You can wake me up anytime if you need anything.”
“Okay.”
“I will hold your hand until you fall asleep, alright?”
Tera nodded.
“I won’t be wet anymowe, Obi.”
“I know. But even if you were, it would be okay. Remember, no trouble,” Obi-Wan reassured the child.
“Yeah…," Tera yawned. "Not mad."
“That’s right," the Jedi Master whispered softly, smiling down at the child. "Goodnight, darling.”
“Goodnight, Obi.”
Chapter 7: Self-Worth and New Acquaintances
Summary:
In the morning after her accident, Tera discovers something that suprises her. Then, Obi-Wan introduces her to someone new!
Chapter Text
In the morning, Tera woke up slightly confused. Where was she? She wasn't in her bed, she- Oh. Her bed! She suddenly remembered the events of the previous night. Mister Obi-Wan wasn't mad, she slowly began to believe that, but surely it must be expected of her to clean after herself. Therefore, she got up and quietly walked over to the room she had been staying in before. But to her surprise, the bed was already dry and clean, with no remnant of her accident visible. That confused the little girl even more. It was too difficult for her to wrap her head around a world where somebody does things for her.
"Tera, dear?" a familiar voice with a distinctive accent said somewhere behind her.
Tera turned around and saw Mister Obi-Wan - no, just Obi-Wan now - standing in the doorway. She started fiddling with her fingers nervously and Obi-Wan slowly approached her, crouching down to be at her eye level.
"Good morning, little one," he greeted with a kind smile. "How was the rest of your night? Did you sleep well?"
"Uh-huh," the child nodded. "No mowe nightmawes."
"I'm glad to hear that. Would you like to have some breakfast?"
She would. But... she doesn't deserve it very much, does she? After making a mess, and not cleaning after herself, and on top of that, waking up Mist-... Obi-Wan and forcing him to take care of her in the middle of the night? No, she doesn't deserve breakfast at all. She should stay hungry for the rest of the day, grateful that she wasn't beaten for all of it.
"Little one? Whatever is the matter? I can sense how guilty you feel."
"Um... I... um... uh...," she played with her fingers more and tried her best to explain, but it was just too hard to put into words.
"Do you still feel bad because of your accident?"
Tera nodded, blushing.
"There really is no need, darling. It happens to all children sometimes, especially when they have nightmares. I remember it happening to me in the Crèche when I was little. And... I saw grown men wet themselves after experiencing less," he said, remembering the Clone Wars. "It's understandable that it happened to you, my dear. And it's also perfectly acceptable to let droids clean for you from time to time."
"Dwoids?"
"We have a cleaning droid in these quarters, yes."
"Um... can I t'ank him?" Tera asked timidly.
"You would like to thank the cleaning droid, little one?" Obi-Wan asked to clarify, slightly amused by the prospect.
"Uh-huh. If... um... if... if it's okay...?"
"Of course, Tera. Of course it is. Come," he stood back up and extended his hand for the child to take. "I'll introduce you."
They walked together to the adjacent room where the droid was stored. It seemed harmless, however, Tera was still apprehensive. Obi-Wan picked up on that.
“Look, my dear. This is LTC-R03, a housekeeping droid,” he said, kneeling down. “Have you ever met a cleaning droid before?”
“Um… we had dwoids, but…,” you gulped. “They wewe scawy.”
What Obi-Wan didn’t know was that the only droids Tera had seen so far were battle droids, programmed to “help” with her training. And they “helped” in a similar way her father had. The Jedi Master suspected there was much more to the “scary” but decided against prodding at the moment.
“I see. Well, I don’t know about those droids, however… our droids, here at the Temple, are rather friendly,” he smiled and continued holding the child’s hand gently, doing his best to be reassuring. “And I believe LTC-R03 here would never wish to scare you. Would it be okay with you if I turned him on? So that he may hear your thanks?”
“Okay, Mist- um… Okay, Obi.”
When Obi-Wan pushed the “ON” button and the droid made a loud ‘beep beep beep’ sound, Tera gasped and took a step back.
Whatever have they done to this sweet little girl, for Force’s sake?
“It’s alright, little one, you’re safe. He won’t harm you, I promise,” Obi-Wan smiled sadly upon witnessing her startled reaction. “LTC-R03, let me introduce you to my friend Tera. Tera, this is LTC-R03.”
The droid let out a series of high, happily sounding beeps.
“He said he’s very pleased to make your acquaintance, young lady,” the Jedi Master translated, winking playfully at the child.
For the first time this morning, Tera smiled back and the fear, which could be felt in her Force signature before, slowly subsided.
“I’m pleased to make youw a-… atictance, too,” she whispered, worried that a wrong pronunciation of the big word would make either Obi-Wan or the droid angry. Luckily, the droid continued his joyful beeping and Obi-Wan was still smiling.
“Yes, LTC-R03, she is a polite little girl, isn’t she?" the Jedi Master exaggerated his voice like he was used to from Crèche duty. "Such good manners!”
Beep beep beep beeeep.
“He likes you very much, Tera,” Obi-Wan whispered in her direction.
At that, Tera did something she hadn’t done for a long time – she giggled. At first, Obi-Wan couldn’t believe his senses. Then, he let out a relieved laugh and opened an arm for the child to come closer. After a short moment of hesitation, she did, and let Obi-Wan put an arm around her gently. He made sure not to hold her tightly so that she could step out of the situation anytime she wished to. He wanted nothing more than to hug her and pick her up in his arms, but he knew it was too early for that. She needed to trust him a bit more and get used to the fact that physical contact doesn’t equal abuse and pain.
“Can I say t’ank you now?” Tera asked him.
Obi-Wan nodded.
“T’ank you, LC… LT… LT3…-“
“You may give him nickname, little one, if you wish. LTC-R03 is both complicated and too formal, isn’t it?” Obi-Wan offered, noticing her struggles.
“Okay… But what nickname, Obi?”
“Well, that’s up to you, Tera. You may choose one.”
“Um… okay… um… what about, what about… um… no. That’s stupid,” the little girl concluded, looking down.
“I don’t think any suggestion is stupid, my dear. Either you’ll suggest something he likes, or something he doesn’t - and in that case, we would come up with a different idea. What is your suggestion, darling? I would very much like to hear it.”
“Um, maybe… maybe…,” she hesitated, fiddling with the fabric on her clothes. “I was tinking… maybe… what about… um… maybe Housee? Because you said he was a housekeeping dwoid. But we don’t have to- we- it’s stupid, I'm sowwy. I can’t tink of anyfing good, I always say stupid tings, sowwy, it’s stupid, I’m stupid.”
Obi-Wan’s heart was breaking at the sight in front of him. The little girl was so insecure about herself, her abilities, her thoughts… Someone did everything he could to bring this adorable child’s self-esteem to zero. The Jedi Master inhaled and exhaled, releasing most of his anger into the Force, and took Tera’s small hands into his large ones.
“Listen to me, little one. You are not stupid. You aren't now, you never were, and you never will be. And your ideas aren’t stupid either. In my opinion, Housee is a perfect nickname for LTC-R03. What do you think, Housee?”
Beep beep beep beeeep!
“Can you hear that? He likes his new nickname very much,” Obi-Wan smiled at Tera, attempting to lift her spirits.
Tera nodded and smiled a little, squeezing Obi-Wan’s fingers.
“T’ank you, Housee. T’ank you fow cleaning my mess. And t’ank you, Mistew- no, t’ank you, Obi.”
“Whatever for, my dear?”
“Fow being nice to me," she whispered, clearly thinking she wasn't worth basic respect.
“Oh, little one,” the Jedi Master sighed, stroking her tiny fingers with his thumb gently. “You don’t deserve anything less.”