Blessing or Curse ?

by Krystal_light

Summary:

Tears mixed with blood run down Sanzu’s face as he buries himself in Mikey’s hair trying to take in what’s left of his sweet scent. He wants to scream, a part of him wants to curse Mikey for doing this to him, making him into this. A part of him wishes to go back in time and never have pulled Shinichiro out of that water. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been the trigger and fallen under the curse.

Does Shinichiro not know he unintentionally cursed Sanzu too?

Notes:

Massive manga spoilers ! Enjoy !

Chapter 1: A Second Chance

Post Chapter 204

Sanzu holds Mikey close, taking in the overwhelming scent of iron. Crimson red staining Mikey’s beautiful white hair.

It’s not fair, why does Takemichi get to have Mikey in life and death? It should’ve been him! He’s the one that should’ve died by Mikey’s side. He’s the one who’s scarified everything for Mikey, loving Mikey during the good and bad. Instead of trying to change him he loved every part of him, his heart and soul, he would’ve traveled through the depths of hell for his beloved.

But Mikey chose to die with Takemichi rather than to live for Sanzu.

And it hurt. It hurt like hell.

Being proven time and time again that he is the second choice in everyone’s heart. Takeomi, Senju, Baji and most evidently Mikey. Hell he can’t even say he’s Mikey’s second choice, he’s just the person Mikey kept around to fill the empty void Draken and Takemichi left.

Tears mixed with blood run down Sanzu’s face as he buries himself in Mikey’s hair trying to take in what’s left of his sweet scent. He wants to scream, a part of him wants to curse Mikey for doing this to him, making him into this. A part of him wishes to go back in time and never have pulled Shinichiro out of that water. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been the trigger and fallen under the curse.

Does Shinichiro not know he unintentionally cursed Sanzu too?

Having to watch three people he loved commit suicide. His brother’s abuse, being framed and having his mouth ripped opened by whom he loved most, being abandoned by his best friends. Is that the price he has to pay for his sins? Maybe whatever god up there is laughing at his demise. Maybe he deserves this unhappiness. Miracles don’t happen for people like him.

A Ugly, heartless, cold blooded murderer.

Sanzu squeezes his eyes shut tighter, the last time he felt this empty was when he took Mucho’s life.

Mucho.

The only person who truly loved Sanzu for who he is. The person who picked him up when he was nothing but an empty vessel. Gave him a purpose in life and what did Sanzu do? Fuck that up like he does everything else.

A bitter laugh escapes Sanzu’s chapped lips. He doesn’t deserve to mourn, not when he killed Mucho with his own two hands.

He holds Mikey’s cold lifeless body closer as the other executives run around the warehouse trying to locate the pink haired male. Sanzu doesn’t want to continue living in this world without Mikey. A part of him wishes he never met him but a greater part loves him more than anything. He truly is nothing but an empty vessel for Mikey’s desires.

Mikey is his monster, his drug. A terrible addiction that caused his demise but he can never seem to put this drug down. Being in Mikey’s presence, being acknowledged by him was a high greater than any pill can provide.

So with that Sanzu takes his gun out of his holster and raises the cold piece of metal to his forehead. He thinks about Kokonoi and how he might be the only person who will be affected by this decision but Sanzu can’t bring himself to care. Kokonoi still has Inupi somewhere in the world so he’ll be okay.

He pulls the trigger and his final thoughts are of that day. The day where he met Mucho, the only person who ever truly cared about him. His one and only true friend.

Darkness.

Complete darkness surrounds Sanzu. Is this hell? Is he stuck in purgatory? Because there’s no way someone like him would be allowed into heaven.

“..zu….anzu….Sanzu!”

Sanzu’s eyes shoot open taking in a deep breath. He looks around and notices a dessert shop he’s all too familiar with. It’s the place where Mucho took Sanzu the first day they met, after that it became a tradition, after every battle won Mucho would treat Sanzu to a slice of cheesecake.

“You zoned out there, you alright?” Speaks a deep voice Sanzu never believed he’d ever hear again. Blood rushes to his ears as his breathing becomes unsteady. This is a dream, there’s no way this is real.

Sanzu refuses to look up, refuses to face the truth. This has to be a trick of the devil, a way to relive his greatest sins.

“Hey look at me, what’s wrong?” Asks the same voice as he places a hand under Sanzu’s chin to lift his head up. Mucho looks directly into those turquoise eyes which are filled with unshed tears.

“Sanzu what the hell is going on?”

Sanzu can’t breath, he can’t tear his eyes away from the man in front of him. The man he loves oh so much. His greatest regret.

“Mucho?” Speaks Sanzu in a voice so soft but holds so much emotion, as if it could break at any second. Before Sanzu can process what’s happening he lunges over the table embracing the man before him. He’s real… it’s actually him! He even smells the same.

Mucho is caught off guard but returns the hug almost immediately. The usual stoic fifth division captain has concern laced over his tough features. He isn’t one for affection but holds a deep sense of protection for his vice captain.

Sanzu’s trembling body holds onto Mucho for dear life. Fearing that if he lets go he’ll lose him again.

After Sanzu manages to calm down, Mucho pulls away and looks at the masked male before him. “Do you want to explain what the hell that was?”

Sanzu shakes his head refusing to answer, fearing his voice will betray him. Mucho doesn’t know the details of Sanzu’s past but knows how broken the kid is so he doesn’t pry further, instead he slides a piece of cheesecake closer to Sanzu who graciously accepts.

(Timeskip)

Sanzu heads to his apartment feeling lightheaded at today’s events. He’s no idiot and has bared witness to this before with Shinichiro. He’s traveled through time somehow. His pink hair is styled like how it was when he was in Toman and he has his mask on his face he hasn’t worn since Kanto Manji was formed. He takes off his coat revealing the scars along his arms and notices how thin he is. He forgot how mentally fucked he was during this time, this is when his eating disorder was at its worst. He turned to self harm to cope with the loneliness and only stopped after his scars were noticed by Mucho during his Tenjiku uniform fitting. After Mucho’s death, cutting turned into drug use, it was no better but was easier to hide.

The cuts still itch and he subconsciously scratches at them as anxiety attacks his body. He’s somehow been gifted (or cursed) with this damn power and has no idea on where to go from here.

Does this mean he has the power to fix all of the past mistakes? Can he save Mikey? Hell does he want to save Mikey?

The resentment is still deep in his heart but he knows that no matter what he’d do anything for Mikey. Even if that means going through hell again. Isn’t that what he’s made for anyways? He’s made to handle the burdens Mikey can’t carry. It’s the promise he made to Shinichiro all those years ago, he swore Mikey was his friend for life.

Sanzu thinks about the intimate moments with Mikey in Bonten and realizes they’re all just a fantasy now, saving Mikey will ultimately result in losing him to Takemichi again. It was never meant to be him, not in the first timeline, not in the second and surely not in this one.

He sighs as he checks the date. October 29th meaning today is the day when Baji is going to switch sides to go to Valhalla. He will betray Toman and on the 31st Bloody Halloween will take place, meaning Baji will be stabbed and then commit suicide.

Sanzu wants to march over and just kill Kisaki so this can all be over with but that doesn’t seem ideal. He knows the consequences of taking a life as a time leaper and doesn’t want to fuck the timeline up even more.

He puts on his gang uniform and hops on his pink motorcycle towards Toman’s meeting. His palms are sweaty and his legs feel like jello as he makes his way to the shrine.

Mikey will be here. Last time he saw Mikey he was lying lifeless in his arms and now he will be in his kings presence again. Sanzu feels bile building up in his throat at the thought of seeing not only Mikey but Baji too.

Both of his childhood friends who committed suicide before his eyes. He wants to punch Baji for doing something so reckless while simultaneously wanting to embrace his old friend.

Sanzu has been zoned out until he hears that sickly sweet voice which is like honey to his ears “Third Division Captain step forward”

Sanzu doesn’t have enough time to process what’s occurring until he see’s that bastard Kisaki taking the stage with Mikey. He remembers this day clear as day. Next thing he knows that worm Takemichi punches Kisaki and moments later he gets the shit beat out of him by Baji. Sanzu can’t help but smile under the mask at the sight of Takemichi being punched by Baji, he wishes it was him doing the punching.

“From now on First Division Baji Keisuke will be an enemy of Toman” declares Baji with that same reckless grin of his. Now that Sanzu knows his true intentions he can hear the subtle uneasiness behind Baji’s words.

As everyone is dismissed this is where Sanzu chases after Baji to ask him for his hair routine. He remembers how Baji told him it was just soap which ended up damaging his hair for weeks. He shakes his head as anger rises up again but gives Baji the benefit of the doubt for being a damned idiot.

“Ba- Keisuke!” Yells Sanzu as he runs after Baji

Baji freezes for a second at the use of his first name and turns around to meet Sanzu’s eyes. “If you’re here to ask about Valhalla’s secrets I can’t tell you-“ he’s cut off by Sanzu’s loud declaration.

“I don’t trust Kisaki either” says Sanzu which makes Baji falter for a second. “That snake is up to something and I’m worried that he may be targeting Mikey.”

Baji’s sharp bronze eyes narrow as he’s contemplating what to do next. He seems hesitant to confide in Sanzu and for good reason too, they’re not as close as they were before.

Baji then sighs and ultimately goes with his gut “meet me at my apartment tonight around midnight, I swear to god if you tell anyone I’ll break your face in” threatens Baji and Sanzu rolls his eyes at the threat.

“It’s not like you haven’t witnessed someone break my face in before” mumbles Sanzu but he knows Baji had overheard as slight guilt fills the taller males eyes.

Sanzu doesn’t know how to make the situation better so he decides to change the subject, “I’ll see you then” says Sanzu as he walks away quickly from the awkward situation. He begins to conjure up ideas on how to catch Kisaki red handed without drawing suspicion on himself.

Chapter 2: The Promise

It’s 10 to midnight when Sanzu shows up in front of Baji’s door. He takes a deep breath and hesitates before knocking. He waits a few moments expecting his old friend but instead is face to face with an older female version of Baji.

“Can I help you?” she asks. Her voice laced with suspicion not trusting the masked male before her until she realizes who’s she’s looking at. Sanzu’s nervous mannerisms are something he never seems to grow out of while standing as still as a statue, his hands clenched behind his back.

“Haruchiyo is that you?” questions Baji’s mother in a delicate manner staring at the boy inquisitively.

“Hello Ryoko-san it’s been a while” he greets politely with his hand behind his back and a slight bow. Before he knows it he’s pulled into a tight embrace “no need for the formalities kid, it’s nice to see you.”

Sanzu stiffens at the sudden embrace until he hesitatly returns the hug. He would never admit it aloud but it feels nice, he’s never had the pleasure of experiencing a motherly embrace until now. “Keisuke’s in his room I’m glad you two have reconciled” she says with a soft smile, same fangs as her son on full display.

Sanzu nod and heads towards Baji’s room but before he reaches it he hears Ryoko speak faintly. “There’s something up with him lately, he’s been more secretive than usual so please look after my son” she pleads while glancing back meeting Sanzu’s lidded turquoise eyes.

Sanzu feels guilt deep in his gut remembering the look on her face when she reached the hospital after Baji died in the previous timeline. The way she collapsed to her knees in agony unable to look at the corpse of her only son. The cries of grief that shook the entire hospital echo though his mind. Nobody knew he was there that day but he was… he had to say goodbye one last time before Baji was gone forever.

However he now has a second chance so the look of guilt in his eyes turn into pure determination. A fire was has just been lit under his ass. In this very moment Sanzu truly realized the power in his hands, he’s not that same useless kid who was always picked second, he’s not that druggie executive who would crawl if Mikey asked him to. He has power to actually do something.

He can break this damned curse once and for all so he makes a vow.

“I promise you Ryoko on everything that is dear to me I’ll protect your son” Sanzu declares in full confidence. The tension Ryokos body begins to loosen when she sees the look in the teens eyes. A look of pure determination. A smile takes over her beautiful features and she bows.

“I’ve always known you were a good kid, don’t ever change” she says before she exits into her room. Ryoko’s words cause a warmth to spread through Sanzu’s body and a genuine smile to take over his lips.

He then barges into Baji’s room without knocking who’s sitting on the ground petting a black cat. Baji doesn’t even care to look up as he begins speaking “so you’re planning on protecting me huh?”

This causes Sanzu to chuckle, Baji must’ve overheard the conversation. He takes a seat on the bed refusing to sit on the ground (his ODC would never allow it).

“Didn’t expect that from a screw up like me huh?” Jokes Sanzu half-heartedly.

Baji’s body tensed at these words and he sighs “why are you still loyal to an asshole like me? Mikey and I left you behind so why? I don’t understand how you can be so… loyal.”

Sanzu is unsure if there’s a hint of disgust or admiration underlying in Baji’s words but he shrugs it off. He’s heard every insult hurled at him his whole life. He takes off his mask and puts it in his pocket. “There’s a lot you don’t know and that you can’t understand. Just leave it at that” he says with an unspoken truth behind his words a somber smile taking over his hauntingly beautiful features.

Baji wants to protest, he wants to know the truth behind those broken eyes of Sanzu. Not even after the accident did he look that lost, he was still always smiling and playing with them until one day something changed in Sanzu. Baji knows he doesn’t have the right to demand answers, not when he took a part damaging the once pure soul. It’s hard to look at Sanzu his eyes because they remind Baji of stars which have been dead for centuries but are still on display for the world to see.

He leans against the wall and decideds to change the subject “so Kisaki why don’t you trust the bastard.”

Sanzu’s face darkens and Baji takes note of the anger and disgust oozing from his body. “He’s a manipulative asshole, the only reason Pah is in jail is because of him! He set that whole thing up so he can have the third division spot”

With this Baji immediately places Peke J down and sits up listening intently. Pah is a piece of Baji’s heart so he takes this accusation seriously. “How do you know all this?”

Sanzu has already spent the day thinking this through so he’s prepared for all questions “after the meeting I met up with Osanai and asked him about the incident. He blatantly said that Kisaki was the one who orchestrated that entire encounter. Here I even recorded the conversation” Sanzu leaves out the part where it was more of an interrogation with his Katana pointed at Osanai’s neck the entire conversation. He may sliced him up a bit for the hell of it.

Sanzu takes out a tape recorder from his pocket and hands it to Baji who listens in on the conversation. Baji’s face hardens and he grits his teeth in anger “I’ll kill that bastard! I swear when I get my hands on him I’ll kill him”

He then stands up and paces the room looking for something to punch. “That’s not all Baji but for this next piece of information you’ll need to calm the fuck down” says Sanzu as he looks at Baji with a hard expression. Baji slams his fist on the desk but manages to not break anything.

“He’s also manipulating that little boyfriend of yours, not Chifuyu but your second boyfriend the one with the tiger tattoo” informs Sanzu while scooting back not wanting to be in the way of Baji’s wrath.

Baji’s mouth is agape, under different circumstances he’d deny having any boyfriend but this isn’t a laughing matter. “He’s targeting Kazutora?” growls Baji in a voice so low it sends shivers down Sanzu’s spine

“Yes he’s using him to kill Mikey (well actually you) and Kisaki is the true leader of Valhalla not Hanma” says Sanzu as he looks over at Baji straight in the eyes to prove his honesty.

Sanzu then walks over to Baji placing both hands on his shoulders to calm him down knowing how hotheaded his friend is “I don’t have any physical evidence of this yet so you’ll need to take my word for it until we can prove it.”

Baji takes a few moments to process the information “how do you know all of this?”

Sanzu grins with mischief in words “intuition” resulting in him getting a punch in the gut. “Asshole” he mutters in pain as he rubs his stomach.

“We can’t tell Mikey, not yet. You and I are going to beat down Kisaki with our bare hands during the fight and then we’ll expose Kisaki” declares Baji ignoring Sanzu’s banter.

A sadistic grin takes over Sanzu’s lips who likes the sound of that. “That’s fine with me” he hums satisfied before getting up “we’ll come up with a plan tomorrow it’s getting late” he said as he begins to take his leave.

“Hey Haruchiyo?” whispers Baji in a soft tone which is rare for the hot tempered male.

Sanzu turns around with an eyebrow raised at the use of his given name.

“Don’t be a stranger, okay? You’ll always have a place here.”

Sanzu is caught off guard by the sudden words but he feels grateful for them, “don’t get all soft on me now” he jokes with a smile. He walks through the door and waves Baji off.

“I’ll keep in touch Kei” he says before shutting the door behind him. An old friendship blossoming once again, both stubborn males will never admit to each other how a piece of their trauma healed tonight.

October 31st (Bloody Halloween)

Sanzu stands with the other Toman members as they enter the old junkyard. His fists a bit sweaty and his heartbeat rapid when memories of the last time he was here floods his mind. Baji’s corpse, the scream of his vice captain and the utter silence that followed Baji’s death. However this time is different, Baji has him now and he will never allow that to happened twice.

Baji and Sanzu make eye contact having a silent conversation with their eyes as Draken and Kazutora face off.

“Overseer? Conditions? You think this is a game? We came here to torture you punks to death!” Yells Kazutora manically and Mikey gives the order “Let’s do this Toman!” And so the battle begins.

Sanzu vividly remembers how this fight goes so he begins to take down Valhalla members, he didn’t need to keep close to Mucho much this battle. His Captain is a one man army so he usually does his own thing.

This time however he inches closer and closer to the main battle near the pile of cars. Mikey gets hit in the head with a metal rod but quickly recovers. He manages to take several blows and even though Sanzu wants to rip Kazutora’s head off he can’t get involved just yet. Mikey knocks Kazutora out and then he himself passes out.

This is where Kisaki protects Mikey and gains everyone’s trust but Sanzu has other plans. He runs up the cars and punches a Valhalla member who was going to sneak Mikey and gives Kisaki a condescending smirk under his mask. Kisaki’s eyes narrow in anger when he hears the praise of the Toman members “Sanzu! Good work! I’ll leave Mikey to you” yells Draken and Sanzu can’t help but revel in the praise. God knows he deserves it.

Baji then sneaks behind Kisaki hitting him with the pipe until that stinky motherfucker Takemichi holds Baji in place. Once Sanzu realizes what’s occurring he runs towards Kazutora who’s sneaking behind Baji and tackles him causing him to drop the knife. Both of them tumble down the pile of cars resulting in pain to shoot down both of their bodies but they’re alive.Most importantly Baji’s alive and that’s all that matters.

Kazutora’s eyes widen as if he’s been pulled out of a trance and tears well up in his broken eyes when he realizes what he almost did. “That bastard Kisaki is playing you! Whatever he told you is a lie. Mikey is willing to forgive you if you just come back” Sanzu says harshly as he puts the knife in his pocket.

He pulls Kazutora’s collar harshly bringing their faces closer together. “I understand you more than you think. Life’s cruel and I have a shit family too but you have an entire gang fighting for you! They’re your family now so come back to your fucking senses. Toman was built to protect you!”

Kazutora can’t contain his tears, horror floods his veins when he looks around at the mess he’s caused. Mikey bleeding out of his head, Baji punching Chifuyu whom he adores and the amount of destruction caused. He almost killed the boy he loved out of his own selfish desires. All he feels in this moment is shame.

Sanzu squeezes Kazutora’s shoulder the same way Mucho does to him when he gets too deep into that messed up head of his. He never realized how much he truly see’s himself in Kazutora, they carry the same burden while the world beats down on them relentlessly.

Sanzu begins making his way up the pile of cars again towards Baji when something catches his attention. He notices Takemichis eyes widen in disbelief as if he knew Baji was going to get stabbed and after a few seconds of eye contact make both come to a shocking realization.

“You jumped too” they say in unison and Sanzu clenches his fists in anger. Of fucking course Takemichi is a time leaper! That makes so much sense on why that bastard was always around. He should’ve put two and two together sooner. The constant comparisons to Shinichiro, the moments in which he’d completely change personalities, all the signs were fucking there.

“Move out of my way asshole and don’t fuck shit up again” he says as he grips Takemichi’s collar and pushes him aside.

Sanzu then gives Baji a nod and who immediately puts his hair in a ponytail grinning manically before taking down the entire third division of Toman. Once he reaches Kisaki he begins beating the living shit out of him with that metal pipe. This time getting the job done.

Mikey wakes up and immediately grabs Baji’s collar to stop him from killing the younger male. “What the hell is your problem Baji! Why are you doing this?” He scolds his childhood best friend.

“Mikey he’s playing you, he’s been lying to you since the beginning!” Baji yells back as he stands before Mikey defiantly.

Mikey pinches the bridge of his nose “I want to believe you but you know how Toman works, unless you have solid proof I can’t do anything.”

With that Baji turns to Sanzu who nods and begins climbing the cars. There’s an utter silence as Sanzu and Baji stand side by side. The silence is deafening with expressions of surprise on most of the Toman members faces, nobody even knew the two were friends. Mikey seems taken aback at the presence of his old friend and it takes everything inside of Sanzu not to fall at Mikey’s feet.

Sanzu reaches into his pocket handing Mikey the tape recorder and informs him on Kisaki’s connection to Hanma. There’s a shift in Mikey’s eyes that Sanzu has fell victim to before almost instinctively Baji takes a step in front of Sanzu noting the fear in his eyes. It seems he truly never healed from that day.

However Mikey’s anger is directed elsewhere as he slowly descends the pile of cars. He reaches Hanma and kicks him directly in the temple harder than he’s ever kicked anyone before. He then turns his attention to the bloodied Kisaki who’s lying on the ground unconscious.

He grabs Kisaki and begins punching him relentlessly with the intent to kill. Sanzu takes a step forward to break up the fight but then sighs and looks up at Takemichi with a nod. Takemichi responds immediately and steps in front of Kisaki calming Mikey down from his dark impulses. The feeling of heartbreak takes over Sanzu’s heart again as he’s reminded once more that Takemichi will always be Mikey’s light.

Even after all of this he probably won’t receive a thank you but Takemichi will have Mikey. He notices the way the light returned to Mikey’s eyes. His adoration for the younger male on full display for everyone to see.

Kazutora walks over to Mikey and immediately bows. “I’m sorry, I’m so damn sorry for everything Mikey. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’ll carry the burden of what I did for the rest of my life”

Mikey doesn’t reply but instead turns his attention to the crowd. “Toman wins! Baji and Kazutora will return to Toman immediately. You all have been dismissed!” Kazutora’s eyes widen as tears continue to fall from them, he can’t fathom how he’s been forgiven so quickly after committing so many mistakes.

Baji on the other hand is tackled into a hug by his smaller vice captain and Baji smiles softly at the blonde male who’s apologizing for not being able to do much to protect him. He feels pity for Chifuyu whose face is still bruised up by Baji himself. Sanzu cares for Baji but man, he could live 100 lifetimes and never deserve boy.

Sanzu takes a moment to look around the junkyard at all of the smiling faces. The cheers of the Toman members who are making plans to celebrate this victory. He turns around and begins climbing down the pile of cars without drawing any attention to himself.

This is how things are meant to be, he will never truly be one of them. He is willing to endure the loneliness as long as Mikey’s happy, Baji’s alive and Kisaki has been exposed.

“Where do you think you’re going?” a not so quiet voice speaks behind Sanzu and he immediately turns around like happy pup. It’s engraved in his being to come barking at every one of Mikey’s commands. As much as he wants to change it’s not something that can be forgotten so quick when he still loves him dearly.

Mikey and all of the division captains/ vice captains along with Takemichi and Kazutora stand before him. “You said we were all dismissed?” Sanzu asks in confusion.

An arm wraps around his shoulder and Mikey grins “we’re going out to celebrate this win, we needs todays MVP to come along too.” Sanzu feels his cheeks heat up under the mask at Mikey’s touch. His heart betrays him while it beats out of his chest and all Sanzu wants to do is pull Mikey closer but he refrains from doing so. He remembers the way Mikey in Bonten slapped him across the cheek when he tried cuddling him after they had sex. He needs to remember his place, he’s nothing to Mikey but a toy when he needs it.

Sanzu shakes those thoughts out of his head and notices the grins of everyone else who nod in agreement at Mikey’s words. The warmth radiating from everyone begins to pull him out of those dark thoughts. That’s right, Bonten is only a distant memory now, he’s been given a second chance.

“Let’s go to celebrate! It’s on Ken-chin” declares Mikey who receives a smack on the back of the head by his vice-commander.

“Like hell it is Mikey” scolds Draken who’s met with a laughing Mikey hopping on the taller males back.

Even though he feels slightly jealous Sanzu can’t help but feel happy for once as Mikey clings onto Draken. An arm wraps around Sanzu’s shoulder taking over the warmth Mikey left. This time he can recognize it instantly.

“I’m proud of you” speaks Mucho and Sanzu can’t help but melt in the older males touch, leaning in closer to bask in his warmth. His touch is different from Mikey’s, it’s comforting and he feels safe while fitting perfectly in Mucho’s arms. The gang begins walking towards their next destination with adolescent chatter filling the air.

But unknown to all, Hanma picks up Kisaki’s bruised body with vengeance on his mind.

~At the Cafe~

The cafe is full of laughter as Mikey continuously keeps on eating everyone’s food. Drinks are flowing and everyone is enjoying themselves.

Baji has his arms around both Kazutora and Chifuyu introducing the two blushing males to each other.

Mikey is begging Draken to buy him more food while clinging onto Takemichi affectionately who keeps stealing glances at Sanzu. Every time the two make eye contact Sanzu makes sure to shoot the smaller male an intimidating glare making Takemichi back off.

Mitsuya is in his own world with his vice captain while Mucho is in a deep conversation with the twins.

Sanzu can’t help but feel out of place. He’s not really close to anyone other than Mucho and now Baji as they’ve rekindled their friendship.

This makes him miss those days in Bonten even though they were some of the darkest times of his life. The good days where he would take on missions with Rindou resulting in them developing a rather complicated relationship he doesn’t feel like thinking about right now but god does he miss Kokonoi.

He never imagined the two would get along but after being together from Tenjiku all the way to Bonten it solidified a friendship between the duo. They both bonded over mutual losses, Kokonoi was aware of Sanzu’s trauma bond with Mikey as was Sanzu with Kokonoi’s trauma bond with Inui.

Kokonoi was there when Sanzu accidentally overdosed on his pills, Sanzu was there to cover for Kokonoi when he would sneak away to visit Inui. Sanzu had no issues with executing traitors, at times he felt delight in taking someone’s life who dared to betray his king. But one thing he could never do was brand Kokonoi as a traitor and blame him for not giving into leaving Inui behind. Sometimes he found himself wishing he was that strong when it came to Mucho.

Sanzu subconsciously scratches at his cuts when he thinks about his time at Bonten. All of the memories leave a bittersweet feeling in his mind. A desire that is now only a fantasy. Just like that first timeline, he’ll never have that same bond with Baji even though they’re friends again, another timeline another sacrifice.

He looks around the room and no one is paying attention to him but it also feels like they’re 1000 eyes on him. Paranoia is embedded deep in his heart and he wishes he had a pill to help him forget.

He quickly heads towards the bathroom and locks the door behind him. He grips the counter tightly while tears well up in his eyes. He can’t breathe right now. He feels himself gasping for air.

He closes his eyes and tries to remember the steps on how to calm down but he can’t. His mind feels like it’s imploding. His nails scratch at his throat as if he were trying to dig out a new airway. He gasps for air and it takes him a while to realize there’s a pounding on the door behind him.

Sanzu desperately crawls towards the door and unlocks it uncaring who’s on the other side, his vision is too blurry to make out a body but he feels hands wrapping around him. Sanzu clings onto the person for dear life, their touch warm and comforting.

Sanzu hears a distant voice telling him to match his breathing and he rests his head against the persons chest listening to their heartbeat. The embrace so warm it remind Sanzu of how Shinichiro would hug him after he was scolded by Takeomi.

Sanzu shuts his eyes and allows this embrace for a few moments longer until a voice shatters his peace.

“Are you alright Sanzu-kun?”

Sanzu immediately stiffens, he slowly looks up to confirm his worst nightmare and sees those affectionate blue eyes laced with concern.

“Don’t fucking touch me you smelly bastard” yells Sanzu as he punches Takemichi in the jaw causing him to fall back against the floor. Sanzu trembles with anger when he realizes Takemichi was the one who he clung onto during his most vulnerable moment, he even disrespected Shinichiro by comparing him to this piece of shit.

“What is your problem? Why do you hate me so much when I barely even know you!” speaks Takemichi as he confronts Sanzu for the first time.

“My problem?” Sanzu yells as he pulls Takemichi by his collar bringing the blonde male closer “my problem is that none of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you! You’re the reason Kisaki even targeted Toman in the first place! Baji, Emma, Izana, Senju their blood was on your hands!”

Takemichis mouth goes dry the moment Sanzu speaks and Sanzu can’t help but find delight in that. He knows what he said isn’t fully true, with or without Takemichi the curse would still be in affect but blaming Takemichi makes things easier.

He isn’t ashamed to admit the underlying truth, he’s jealous. He’s jealous that Mikey easily grew attached to Takemichi when Sanzu himself has tried for years to gain that same level of affection. He envies how everyone in Toman grew to adore Takemichi, looking up to him and brand him as their hero.

He’s everything that Sanzu is not, and Sanzu knows that better than anyone.

Sanzu tosses Takeimichi to the side in pure disgust “Why did it have to be you?” he grips the sink and looks at himself in the mirror. His hair is tangled, his eyes are bloodshot, there’s a heavy blush on his cheeks from crying, his sleeves soaked with blood trickling down his arms.

He then looks at Takemichi and notices how even with the new bruise on his face his eyes remain kind and sympathetic.

It makes bile build up in the back of Sanzu’s throat.

“There’s something you should know… it’s about Mikey” Takemichi speaks hesitantly as he takes a step towards Sanzu, almost as if he’s approaching a wild animal.

Sanzu shakes his head and laughs bitterly “what? Is it about his impulses? Do you want to tell me the details of your final conversation before you both poetically died together?” taunts Sanzu with a manic smile taking over that alluring face of his. He takes steps towards Takemichi. Resentment oozing from every fiber of his being.

“You want to shove it in my face that you effortlessly have him in your grasp, is that it?” Sanzu questions as he shoves Takemichi back looking for a fight.

“He cares for you” whispers Takemichi while placing a hand on Sanzu’s shoulder.

“Don’t do that” Sanzu states as he shakes his head “he doesn’t care for me, not the same way he does for you” he says. He wipes the tears falling from his eyes while laughing.

‘Smile Haruchiyo’

Takemichi can’t argue that fact, the bond he shares with Mikey is something he can’t put into words. “Sanzu I need your help to save Mikey, we both love him so please help me.”

With that Sanzu laughs harder, he didn’t think it was possible for his heart to break more than it already is broken “you want me to work with you?” his laugh echos through the bathroom even louder while he digs his nails into the skin on his neck.

‘Smile Haruchiyo’

“We both want the same goal, I’m not asking to be your friend. All I’m asking is help to take down Kisaki once and for fall.”

Sanzu looks into Takemichis eyes and his fist collided with the blonde once more before he smirks “it’s a deal.”

Within seconds the door swings open with Mikey and Baji walking into the messy scene before them. Takemichi sitting on the ground holding his newly bruised cheek while Sanzu stands over him, face drenched in tears and blood dripping down his neck and arms.

“Someone tell me what the hell happened in here?” commands Mikey as he rushes to Takemichis side helping him up while caressing his cheek.

Sanzu can’t help but collapse to his knees with manic laughter escaping his lips. Baji rushes over and grabs Sanzu’s hands tying to pull him to his senses. He’s seen this scene before, a scene all too familiar. A scene which haunts all of their nightmares.

‘Smile Haruchiyo’

For the first time in his life Sanzu wants nothing more than to get away from Mikey, he sees him in this state again but all Mikey cares about is Takemichi’s well being? Even after all he did in the Valhalla fight this is the price he pays? Does he not know Sanzu has feelings too? He did everything for Mikey. He LOVED Mikey more than anyone. He went to Juvie for Mikey, he KILLED for him, he even DIED for him.

Sanzu walks over to Mikey and leans close to his ear his voice laced with vemon “I appreciate the concern, my king” and places a gentle kiss on Mikey’s temple who looks completely mortified.

“Smile Manjiro” whispers a manic Sanzu before being pulled out of the bathroom by Baji.

Chapter 3: Changing Fate

Notes:

Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while ! School and work have been kicking my ass but I’m finally able to update all of my stories! This chapter took a different turn than what I initially planned and is the calm before the storm ;) enjoy !

The next morning Sanzu awakens from a deep slumber with barely any recollection of what occurred last night. His head aching almost as if he has a hangover and his body sore from exhaustion.

Sanzu’s eyes are unbelievably dry probably from the amount of tears he shed last night. He moves to sit up but feels a hand tightly around his waist causing his eyes to widen as he looks to his side. There is Mucho, looking at him with mild concern holding Sanzu close with a tight grip.

Sanzu feels his cheeks burn and his heart pick up when he notices how close they are in distance. Yes they’ve shared a bed before when Sanzu has had nightmares of the past but this feels different… more intimate.

Mucho raises a hand and brushes some of Sanzu’s hair out of his face letting his fingers linger on his cheek for a few moments before speaking “Hey are you feeling better? You had us real worried last night” says Mucho in a voice so gently it doesn’t suit the large man.

Sanzu takes a moment to process what transpired yesterday. The panic attack, the breakdown, the words he spewed to both Takemichi and Mikey. Shame takes over his mind and he cowers away from Mucho’s touch unable to look the older male in the eyes.

“I’m fine” says Sanzu as he removes himself from Mucho’s grip and motions to get out of the bed but before he can properly leave Mucho grabs Sanzus arms.

Mucho sits up and pulls Sanzu closer placing a hand on his waist making Sanzu weak in the knees “you’re clearly not okay. If you won’t speak to me as a friend then as your captain I order you to stay” says Mucho the gentleness of his words slipping away.

Sanzu chuckles bitterly as he looks at his friend “So you’re giving me orders now? Some friend you are.”

Mucho’s grip on Sanzu’s waist tightens almost causing him to wince. When Mucho notices this he immediately lets go of Sanzu and sighs running his hand over his face. “I saw the scars Sanzu” he says gesturing to the shirt Sanzu is wearing. “Last night I changed you out of your Toman uniform while you were inconsolable and I saw all of the scars…. How long Sanzu? How long have you been fucking hurting yourself?”

Mucho pleads for Sanzu to give him some answer… anything. His eyes begging for him to open up to him, share his pain instead of self destructing.

Sanzu look at Mucho in disbelief before grabbing his mask off of the nightstand and putting it on his face. The warmth he felt moments prior wiped off of his face as if a flip was switched. Sanzu places his hands behind his back and bows “I’m sorry for worrying you captain it won’t happen again” he says before rushing out of the room.

“Sanzu wait-“ Mucho yells but it’s too late. Sanzu has already slipped on his shoes and is down the block before Mucho can even put his shoes on to go after the pink haired male. Worry creeps into his chest when he sees the path Sanzu is going down. He knows better than anyone how it feels to be alone so he prays Sanzu comes to his senses because at the end of the day, you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.

…

The next few weeks go by in a blur. Sanzu shut off his phone so no one can reach him, hell it’s not like he has any friends that would check on him anyways. He stopped attending Toman meetings unable to face Mikey or any of the other members after the stunt he pulled at the cafe.

And Mucho?

What the hell is he supposed to tell his captain? Yeah I’ve been slitting my wrists since I was 10 years old because the loneliness is so damn suffocating and this is the only way I can feel anything other than isolation?

He remembers when Mucho found out about them in the previous timeline and how annoying he was about getting Sanzu to quit. He doesn’t want to go through the withdrawals again so fuck that.

The days blend into night with the same cycle of Sanzu self destructing. The meals he eats become more scarce, his hair wild and unkept causing his OCD to skyrocket, the scars on his body growing each day and he doesn’t even care to stop.

Takeomi was right… he’s such a fucking disappointment. He was given a second chance in life and what does he do? He uses to loathe in self pity.

He’s so weak.

No wonder Mikey replaced him so easily. He doesn’t have a strong will like Takemichi, he’s not strong like Baji or Draken, he’s not caring like Mucho. Hell he’s not even smart like Kisaki.

What is Sanzu good at other than being a psychopathic murderer who pops pills as if they were candy? His only redeeming quality is his loyalty to Mikey.

Sanzu paces his house contemplating on ending it all. Unaware of the conflict brewing on the other side of town.

…

Kisaki’s plan B has gone to shit. That worm Takemichi was able to resolve the Shiba families issues and Toman took down the Black Dragons. At the end of the day Taiju Shiba was fucking useless. All talk for a big guy. Kisaki has vengeance on his mind. The feeling of being utterly humiliated by a nobody makes the hatred in his heart grown tenfold.

But there’s been something lingering in his mind these past weeks and he can’t shake the thought.

Who the fuck is the masked feminine looking freak anyways and how the hell did he know of his plans? He sent Hanma to ask around after the Valhalla conflict and he could barely gather any information other than the boys name.

Sanzu Haruchiyo

He’s like a ghost, his background is vague… too vague. He’s known as the fifth division captain Mucho’s shadow. Sanzu doesn’t speak unless spoken to, follows directions like a trained dog and is able to torture traitors for information without showing any emotion. It’s as if he’s been deliberately keeping up this front. Is he hiding from someone or something. There’s no reason why someone of their age would no trace on their past. Who is this Sanzu Haruchiyo and how did he manage to outsmart Kisaki ?

One of his spies in Toman has informed Kisaki that Sanzu’s been MIA ever since the battle of Valhalla. There must’ve been an incident resulting in change of events. The loyal dog of the fifth division suddenly disappearing?

Kisaki looks over the town with a plan brewing in mind. It’s time for plan C and the use of his trump card.

Izana Kurokawa.

Some rumors floating around town is he’s the forgotten Sano sibling who’s only an empty shell of what he used to be. The 8th Generation Black Dragon and the King of the S-62 generation. Izana was known for strength and legendary charisma. If there’s anyone who can take down Mikey it would be his brother himself.

He wonders if this Sanzu Haruchiyo will involve himself in this conflict too. This plan of his will serve as a test… if Sanzu ends up stopping his plans that means there’s more that meets the eye and he’ll have no choice but to dispose of this roadblock in his path.

~Back with Sanzu~

Sanzu sits in the dark of his apartment glancing at the calendar. It’s a few days until new years meaning Sanzu needs to make a choice soon. Should he continue trying to fix the past or just give up? The thought causes migraines to form in his mind. In a couple of days Kisaki will search for Izana manipulating him into taking down Mikey.

Emma will become collateral damage breaking Mikey completely. He knows Takemichi is aware of this future but there’s not a bone in his body that trusts Takemichi to save Emma and Izana. He allowed them and Baji to die one timeline already whos to say he won’t fail again.

Sanzu nails dig into his palms as the time passes. He wants to just go back to Bonten and never have killed himself in the first place. Then he wouldn’t be living in this matrix.

Sanzu thinks of his days in Bonten and his eyes widen in realization. He grabs his hoodie and mask rushing out of his apartment. It seems his body is moving before he has the chance to think. Kokonoi will be endanger soon enough. He doesn’t want that for him. If there’s someone he wants to save… someone who he selfishly wants to save out of the goodness in his heart it’s Kokonoi. His only other friend.

He hops on his motorcycle and rushes to the shrine knowing there is a meeting ongoing that will discuss what transpired on Christmas. He waits in the distance for the meeting to disburse before he rushes over to Takemichi pulling the kid by the collar and towards a nearby tree.

“I’ll work with you” he says plain and straight to the point not bothering to greet the shorter male.

Takemichi is dumbfounded by the sudden development and Sanzu can see the waterworks forming behind his big eyes. Disgusting.

Sanzu clicks his tongue in annoyance before Takemichi gets the message “why the sudden change of heart? Actually I Nevermind as long as you’re willing to help that’s enough” he says not wanting to push his luck with Sanzu.

Sanzu rolls his eyes in annoyance and glances at Takemichi “we both have information on what’s to come. Mikey once told me during this battle is when he finds out about your power correct?”

Takemichi nods his head in agreement “yeah Hina told both him and Draken after Emma’s death” he says with sorrow in his eyes. Sanzu can’t help but feel some pity, as much as he hates the bastard Emma was pure hearted and innocent, too innocent for her tragic fate.

“Tell him earlier… tell him everything” sanzu tells Takemichi while he leans against the tree deep in thought. “It’s for the best if he knows. We’ll have Kisaki work with Izana so Tenjiku forms and we’ll crush them naturally how it always should’ve been. The only way for Izana to be happy is if Mikey knocks some sense into him so that’s what we’ll do. Having Mikey know prior of what transpired especially to Emma will fuel him to fight harder for Izana’s sanity. Family is everything to him and…” he takes a deep breath with longing in his next words “it’s what Shinichiro would’ve wanted. For his siblings to be reunited”

Takemichi just stares at Sanzu wide eyed at the solid plan. It makes sense and it’s the only way to ensure everyone comes out alive. A smile spreads across Takemichis lips “you know you’re much smarter than I thought you’d be” he says honestly causing Sanzu to punch his arm.

“Ouch what the hell was that for!” Says Takemichi while rubbing his arm and for the first time an honest chuckle escapes Sanzus lips. “Don’t compliment me asshole” he says before clearing his throat and going back to his emotionless state.

Takemichi laughs and then notices how Sanzu’s eyes keep drifting towards the shrine where two white uniforms stick out like sore thumbs. Sanzu stares at Kokonoi with tenderness behind his eyes and Takemichi can’t help but smile seeing a different side to the usual unhinged pink haired male.

“I didn’t know you two were friends” he says following Sanzu’s gaze.

Sanzu quickly looks away and sighs “we were but that’s only a distant memory now. That life was only a fantasy” he says as no matter the outcome of this timeline he will never have his Koko back.

Takemichi glances at Sanzu a bit surprised he’s opening up but will admit it’s nice to have someone who can relate. “That’s true but who’s to say you can’t turn this timeline into something better? Before this entire shitstorm started I had no friends, my relationship with Hina was nonexistent. I was swallowed by loneliness.”

Sanzu glances at Takemichi and for the first time he sees him not as some nuisance but as a person. Someone who can relate to his isolation. “This power sometimes felt like a curse” Takemichi says as he looks at his hand.

“But it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The death and carnage I witnessed is worth it to have made such friends. A new family.” he says as he looks over the shrine seeing people of all different backgrounds coming together.

Sanzu looks down at his hands which he doesn’t realize are trembling “you think I can change my fate? Even though my hands are soaked with bloods of hundred innocent lives?”

Takemichi looks into Sanzu’s eyes not holding any judgment or pity, just understanding. “As you said before that timeline was a fantasy. A distant memory now. Life gave you a chance to start over don’t waste it on worrying about the past. YOU saved Baji, you’ve already begun repenting for your sins.”

Sanzu slowly removes the mask from his face and it feels like a new chapter is emerging. A genuine smile takes over his lips as he extends his hand to Takemichi. No wonder everyone is fond of his little shit. He’s just like him.

Just like Shinichiro.

“Then let’s work together to take that bastard down once and for all”

Takemichi enthusiastically shakes Sanzus hand with a smile so bright it can rival the sun. “Yeah let’s do it, friend?”

Sanzu rolls his eyes “don’t push it now” he says as he begins walking away and sees Takemichi pout at the rejection.

“You crybaby hero” Sanzu mumbles and Takemichi lights up running up next to him while the two walk away formulating a plan to take down Kisaki once and for all.

Once they part ways Sanzu thinks about the future and what’s to come when this is all over. Mikey will finally be happy, Mucho will be alive, he’ll save Kokonoi and make sure he’s happy with Inui and his final task… he’ll befriend Rindou. Sanzu feels weirdly flustered at the thought of it Rindou and wants to vomit because of it.

God why do Mucho, Rindou and Mikey make him feel this way. Three people he’s had an intimate past with.

Being with Mikey is like speeding down a highway, it’s thrilling and intoxicating. It didn’t matter the outcome because he enjoyed the ride. Mikey was unpredictable, some days he’d be gentle and on others they’d come crashing down together. It doesn’t matter the timeline or the outcome, Sanzu would always be willing to fall into hell with Mikey.

Being with Mucho is like a warm blanket thrown over his shoulders. It’s comfortable and safe, he wholeheartedly trusts Mucho and knows that no matter what he does Mucho will always forgive him. Mucho is just that type of person, when he loves you… he loves you hard and when he trusts you… his loyalty knows no bounds.

And being with Rindou was like riding a rollercoaster. Rindou was able to match Sanzu’s crazy but was simultaneously nothing of what he expected him to be. He was patient and attentive as fuck like when you first mount a rollercoaster. As the ride took off Rindou stayed beside him. He was there when Sanzu was at his peak and then was there when Sanzu was at his fucking lowest. Even when Sanzu constantly put Mikey’s needs over Rindou’s, after the violent outbursts when he was withdrawing from his pills Rindou stood beside him.

Who the fuck should he dedicate his heart to in this lifetime? A part of him feels like he doesn’t deserve any of them but then Takemichi’s words began to ring through his mind. This time he could create something different and real. Only time could tell who would have Sanzu’s heart.

Notes:

Check out my new story Monster ! It's a Sanzu x Mikey fic revolving the dangers of drug addiction within their relationship. It is a modern AU with no gangs! Thank you and I hope you enjoy <3