Work Text:
Emotional Ambivalence
Denji liked being Chainsaw Man, it was something that made him feel close to Pochita, it made him feel excited and alive when he fought devils, and he enjoyed the praise and love of the people who cheered on for him. He did it every day after school, spending a few hours going around the city looking for devils to kill, and most days he found himself successful in his hunts. Whenever he killed a devil, he kept telling himself “I'll just find one more,” to keep himself motivated. He tried to tell himself that he did this because he wanted to keep Chainsaw Manning around the city, to get that shot of adrenaline from those fights, but he knew that wasn't the full story. Truthfully, he was just trying to avoid going home, but he knew he couldn't avoid the apartment forever.
And so, at nearly 9:00 at night, Denji finally made it back to his apartment door, staring at the barrier between him and the apartment that sometimes seemed like the most impassable thing out there, and on the inside he faintly could hear the TV. A part of him wanted to turn around, go back out into the city, maybe go out and fight more devils, and a part of him was tempted to sleep in a dumpster, it's not like he hadn't done that before, but back then things were different, they were not like they were now. A lot of things were different than what they were now. He knew he couldn't avoid this forever, and so like every other night before, Denji knew he had to proceed.
Denji opened the door.
“I'm home,” he said, and was soon assaulted by dogs that were quick to surround him, sniffing at him and demanding pets in the case he had food, but despite his lack of treats he was more than willing to indulge them in head pats, and he was happy for a moment, almost like he was forgetting who else was in the apartment.
“Hello Denji, it's good to see you home.” Any sense of comfort was instantly drained at the sound of the voice, it was soft and pleasant, easy to listen to, and to Denji it was one of the most beautiful things that could come out of anyone's mouth.
It filled him with a certain dread.
“Hey, Makima,” Denji said, making himself face the woman who was sitting in front of the TV, already dressed in her night clothes, a loose t-shirt and shorts, and from the look of her damp hair she had already taken a bath.
“You're home pretty late, I imagine that some nasty devil gave you some trouble?” she said, giving him a glance away from the television. Some movie was playing, it wasn't familiar to him.
He kept his focus on the dogs, wanting to avoid eye contact with her. “Uh, something like that.”
She smiled softly. “Well, I'm sure that Chainsaw Man was able to handle it in the end, you are after all such a powerful devil. The news itself says so.”
“Uh-huh.” Closing the door behind him, Denji pushed the dogs off of him and removed his shoes, and when that was done he made his way to the bathroom.
“You weren't here for dinner,” Makima said, having kept her eyes on him the whole time. “So I went out and picked up fried chicken, and left your share in the microwave.”
“Thanks...” he said, only glancing at the device in question.
There was a light smile on her lips. “You know, for someone who is meant to be my caretaker, you really are slacking in that regard. I mean, think of poor Meowy.”
He hates that she's right, and so he puts his trip to the bathroom on hold to get Meowy's food and put it in her dish on the counter where the dogs can't get to it.
“Sorry about being late,” he said, petting her as she quickly jumped up and devoured her wet food. He's not happy with himself with how he keeps Meowy's dinner late, Power would have his head if she were still here.
Makima isn't allowed to pet or feed Meowy, he can't let that happen. He guesses he's just going to have to start coming home sooner, maybe just long enough to feed Meowy and get out before Makima can say anything to him.
With that done, Denji goes to the bathroom and changes into his sleepwear, and upon that heats up the chicken before sitting down on the floor with several dogs between him and Makima.
He sighed, and waited if she had anything to say tonight.
000
It's later the next morning, he doesn't know how late, but he knows it's later than it should be, and he's thankful it's a weekend, but he wakes up on the bathroom floor, the tiles cold against the exposed skin of his back.
Makima was laying on him, her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
They were both naked.
Fuck.
000
Denji has three devil contracts.
First there was the contract with Pochita, the one he made to grant him life after he had been killed and thrown into the dumpster. All he had to do was “show him his dreams”, whatever that meant.
The second was with Power, after he had been near death and she had given him all her blood to heal him, and all she asked was that he come and find her and befriend the next Blood Devil. He didn't know how to fulfill this contract either, despite being less vague, because he had no idea how to get to Hell, or where to even look once he got there. There was a dumpster invoked in this one too.
The third was with Makima, though unlike Pochita and Power, who made their of their own wills, this one was made under duress.
Back in the graveyard, he had been able to defeat Makima, he put her down, sliced her down her chest with the chainsaw made from Power's blood to prevent her from healing. Everything had been going well, but when Kishibe and his men came to collect her, to take her in for... preparation, she had thrown everything out of order.
“I'll make a contract with Denji,” she had said, almost desperately as she tried to keep herself from coughing up blood. “I'll do anything he asks so long as I don't die.”
That was when discussions were had, lots of discussions. Devil contracts were serious business, they were not made lightly, they were never something they made jokes about. If Makima was making an offer, then that meant she had every intention of following it, and by saying “anything”, she had left herself at their mercy. Or rather, Denji's mercy.
“If we kill her, then that just means that the Control Devil will be born somewhere else, and there's no telling where that would be,” Kishibe had said. “We can't count where it'll end up, so it would be possible that it would go into the wild somewhere or be collected by another country's government, and that's a pretty big risk.”
So they made a contract, he and Makima, and there were a lot of stipulations to it. A lot. To sum it up she was not allowed to use her powers unless he gave her permission, she was not allowed to kill or harm anyone, she had to cut off her contract with the Prime Minister as well as any other contracts she had, and she couldn't skirt the line of what was acceptable just to try and get one over him. She more or less had to surrender any and all rights to him, she couldn't do anything that he himself wouldn't allow, and do anything he said if she wanted to stay alive. He wasn't comfortable having this level of power over someone, basically making someone a slave, but he's in a tight corner, they both are.
Her only stipulation is that she be allowed to keep her dogs.
And so, Makima and her pack of seven huskies move into the apartment he once shared with Power.
000
It was tense. Real tense.
Makima had not spoken to him if she could avoid it, and spent most of the time either taking care of her dogs, or watching TV, but sometimes he could feel her giving a hateful glare at him when he wasn't looking, or he would spot her looking at him from the corner of his eye. It's not like he's doing much better, he's not talking much to her either, but it's more like he just can't figure out what he can say to her, where to even begin. What can he say to make things more... tolerable between them? He kept trying to think of something, but he couldn't come up with anything that could help.
Denji feels... felt strongly about Makima. There were a lot of things about her that defined him and how he grew, there's still stuff about her that makes his heart feel good, but at the same time there's stuff about her that makes him feel awful. He can't think of her without thinking about Aki and Power, and what happened to them, about what... she did to them.
So most of their first two weeks together is spent in this awful, uncomfortable silence that neither one is willing to address.
In the end however, it's Makima that finally breaks the silence.
“I can't stay in this apartment anymore,” she said unprompted, sharply as she turned to him during dinner one day.
“Huh?” he said, off guard by her. This was honestly the most she had said to him since she moved in.
“I want to leave this place, is that simple enough for you to understand?” she said, sounding as though she was trying to hold onto her resentment. “I have been stuck in this apartment since I came here, and I need to do something else beyond mindless television.”
Denji looked around at the dogs laying around them. Despite being her dogs, they seemed to like him just as much. “You go out and walk the dogs twice a day.”
“Yes, I do,” she said, fingers tapping on the floor. “But walking around the block and cleaning up after them is not “getting out”, it's worse than that. It allows me to see the world for only a brief time, but in the end I have to come back here and I am not a fan of how unstimulating it is. I have already read through all your manga three times over, and television can only do so much for me. I need to be out .”
Despite everything, Denji stood his ground. “I can't let that happen, you know that. You're way too dangerous.” He's proud of himself for that.
“I can't do anything, you know that right?” Makima said. “That is our contract, I cannot do anything that you do not want me to do, and since you do not want me harming humans, I cannot harm humans. It's as simple as that.”
He knows she's right about that, she can't do anything unless he gives her the go, but still, it seems too risky, and even though he wants to turn her down, at the same time he found that he can't really do that. Was it really okay with just locking her away like this? He knew that it was, but Denji found himself at a standstill.
“How about this,” she said suddenly, her tone flat and even. “If you allow me to get a job, one where I cannot cause anyone harm, then I will masturbate you.”
Denji stared at her, the words she said trying to form right in his head. Did he really just hear that? No, he couldn't have, that just didn't make sense for her to say that.
But no, the more he thinks about it, the longer she stares at him, unblinking and waiting for a response, does it come to mind that yes, that is what she said.
“WHAT?” he cried out, falling back, and then scrambling to push himself back up. “What did you just say?!”
All she does is tilt her head. “If you do something for me, I will do something for you, not even as an official contract, but as an agreement between peers.”
“But you said-!”
“It's not like we haven't had this discussion before,” she said, leaning back slightly. “If I recall, we came to an agreement that if you killed the Gun Devil that I would grant any request you desired, and we both know what it was you were thinking at the moment.” She paused, as if thinking it over. “In the end, you did a marvelous job killing the Gun Devil, and while you may have changed your mind over what you wanted, I still granted your request. You became my dog, like you deserved.”
There's this nasty, twisting feeling in his gut as her words, at how light and entertained her tone became as she went on, and the almost relaxing smile that grew on her face. He liked the way she smiled, and he feels sick for it.
“You can get a job,” he said, hating himself for it. “But you don't have to do that!” He's compromising, he knows he should let it go that far, but he did. “Just something to keep your mind off things.”
“Sounds reasonable,” she said with a nod. “It would be nice to have some extra money, because let's face it, what you got from Aki won't last forever.” There was the slightest chuckle on her lips.
They didn't say anything for the rest of the night.
000
Makima's previous position as the head of Tokyo's main Public Safety branch meant that she had a large amount of disposable income; she had a large apartment, lots of clothes with access to great food. He had only been in there a short time, but it looked like a good home, and he would have liked to stay there for longer.
Until he didn't.
By the end of the week, Makima was able to get a job. She is now working part-time manning the cash register at a Seven-Eleven for minimum wage, and her boss is only a few years older than Denji. The falsified paperwork for her identity wasn't too impressive, and according to it she is a high school dropout, so it's really the only thing she can get. Still, the hours are simple, and despite how much she clearly hates it she seems glad to be out of the house, the extra money doesn't hurt either, as it's basically their only source of income, beyond him offering himself as a chair for other kids at school or selling cigarettes to bums.
Then Makima gave him her entire check.
“Technically, it's not my money to begin with, I can't have any, so really it belongs to you.”
He looked down at the paper and the money that denoted its meager worth, the money she herself earned, and he felt something twist inside him. “I can't-”
“Oh, so you'll allow me money? Even though my life belongs to you, and I'm not entitled to anything?” She leaned forward, her face close to his. “Denji, you own me, you can take everything you want and leave me with nothing. It's only right after all,” she said and there's a smirk on her lips.
Denji takes the money, and thinks about that old man and how he wants to rip him apart all over again.
000
At night, Denji sleeps a good foot away from Makima, his back turned to her. He has trouble sleeping most nights, and he could only stare at the wall, as he was surrounded by dogs with the sounds of the city just outside the walls of their home. At some point during this particular night he heard shuffling behind him, and assumed that Makima was trying to find a new comfortable position to sleep in with the pillow and blanket she had. It's not uncommon for her to do this; she went from a soft and expensive mattress to a thin futon, so he imagined it was something she had a hard time adjusting to.
Suddenly there's a hand pressed against his shoulder blade.
“Denji,” she said in a soft whisper into his ear.
He doesn't say anything, and tries to pretend to be asleep.
“I know you're awake,” she said, and he can feel her pressing her entire body to his back. “So stop pretending.”
“What do you want, Makima?” he asked in a likewise whisper, because he didn't want to wake the dogs, it always took them forever to get back to sleep.
She nuzzled her face into his shoulder.
She nuzzled her face into his shoulder.
He didn't know what this was supposed to be, but his heart was hammering in his chest.
“I'm going to pay you back for allowing me to get a job, just as I promised.”
For a moment, he's confused as to what she meant, there was no promise, he just let her get a job and-
And then her hand is snaking around his waist and her fingers slip beneath the hem of his sleep shorts and his boxers, but just as she's touching the edge of his pelvis he's able to grab hold of her wrist in a tight grip.
“What are you doing?” he softly hissed, and she only chuckled.
“Paying you back, like I promised,” she lightly said, giving a slight push against his hold, though he was thinking she wasn't putting much effort into it.
“You can't-”
“Like you haven't thought about it.” He suddenly froze, becoming unmoving. “You spend a long time in the bathroom every night, it's not hard to figure out what you might be doing, and I feel I might have a good guess as to who you might be thinking about.”
She's not wrong, and he hates that. He jerked off a lot, and he thought about a lot about the girls he knew; Reze, Himeno, Power, that Chinese assassin lady, and even Shorty. Makima had of course been at the top of that list. She was easily one of the most beautiful people he ever met, and despite everything else about her, he often gave into those kinds of thoughts, even more so now that she moved in with him. About being with her, her holding him, her using her hands, mouth, chest and more on him, and him being inside her, copying the things he had seen in magazines and superimposing their images in there. Just a few hours ago he was in there, thinking about the shorts and the tank top that shows off cleavage that she wore now.
But there's a difference between the stuff in his head and what was real.
“We can't do that,” he said, hoping to put an end to this.
“And why not?” she said back. “No one can stop us, I doubt anyone would even care, in fact I expect that most people would have expected you to take advantage of me by now. It's honestly a miracle you haven't, it's almost like you're a half-way good person somehow.”
She breathes softly on his neck, and it feels warm, and a part of him just wants to push her back and...
And then she kissed his neck.
Everything in his brain is screaming at him to get her off him.
He let go of her hand.
Makima's hand snaked its way under his boxers and soon her hand was wrapped around his painfully hard cock, before she began to slowly stroke him, she started off slow with her grip firm but not enough to hurt him, and he enjoyed the sensation of someone else's hands on him. He was tempted to fight back, but those urges died quickly as she went on, and nothing was said between them as he resisted the urge to cum, all he could do was let the occasional groan out as he closed his eyes, trying his hardest not to picture she was using something other than her hand.
He failed, he thought about her, and soon his body was rocked by the orgasm she brought him too, he had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying out at the intense pleasure as he shot rope after rope of cum into his boxers. The mess was warm and sticky, and Makima's hand lingered in there for a time, slowly continuing to stroke him, applying light pressure to the base of his cock before she withdrew her hand out of him. He looked down and saw that her hand was covered in his cum, and he was memorized by it, that he had done that, and that he had cum because a girl helped him with that.
Was he still a virgin?
Before he could think anymore on the subject, Makima wiped her hand on the front of his shorts, pressing the uncomfortable gooey mess inside against him, and when she was done she pulled away from him and moved away from his back, and returned to her original spot on the futon.
“Uh...” he tried, once his senses returned to him. “Um, Makima?”
“Go to sleep Denji,” she dismissively said.
“Oh. Alright,” he said, though he knew that sleep was not an option for the rest of the night as he just tried to go over what just happened.
Makima gave him a handjob. He should be ecstatic, over the moon, a fantasy he had since he met her had been fulfilled, he should be on his knees praising whoever had listened to his prayers, but it's not exactly what he imagined. It felt good, there was no way to deny that, but it was... lacking, somehow. He expected there to be more, but what that was he didn't know, but certainly more than her just rolling over when it was done and telling him to go to sleep.
Maybe if he rolled over, he'd be able to hold her? That seemed nice?
Denji nearly slapped himself as he reminded himself that this was Makima , he should have never allowed something like this to happen in the first place, bad things could only happen if he let them go any further. She was the kind of person that would take a mile if she was offered an inch, and he might have given her a few meters by now.
Aki and Power would be so disappointed in him.
Denji got up and went to the bathroom, where he cleaned himself up as best he could, taking his time because it meant less time being around Makima.
He couldn't let something like that happen again.
000
A few days later they were eating breakfast. Makima was the better cook between them, but he wasn't comfortable having her cook for him, so he had learned to cook on his own, and while he knew that he wasn't maybe as good as Makima was, nor anywhere close to what Aki could make, it was a skill that he was proud of. Even though Makima never really seemed to appreciate what he made. “Unsatisfactory and bland, yet it serves its purpose for our dietary needs,” she had said. It kind of stung to hear her say that, even though he knew he should stop listening to those kinds of opinions. He should be proud of himself. He should.
“Denji,” she said, finishing off the eggs he had made. “I have another proposition for you.”
Denji froze mid-chew, and remembered the other night. A part of him just never wanted to think about that again, but he did keep thinking about it. It was more or less on his mind the entire time.
“No,” Denji firmly said, swallowing his half-chewed food.
“Oh?” Makima hummed, leaning forward and resting her chin on her palm. “You haven't even heard what I want, or what I am willing to exchange for it.”
“I don't care, whatever it is, you're not getting it.”
“Even though I will make it worth your while? You and I both know that I will keep my word, just like I did the other night,” she said with a coy smile.
Denji was already beginning to feel frustration grow inside him. “Yeah, I know that, and I shouldn't have let that happen!”
Makima observed him for a moment, looking at him with those amazing and awful eyes, before she pushed herself up and crawled to the other side of the table, right next to him, and she leaned against his shoulder. His whole body stiffened at the sensation, at the warmth against him, and glancing into her direction he had a good view of down her shirt.
His heart was loudly thumping in his chest.
“Denji,” Makima said, softly and in a husky voice. “Last time I used my hand on you, and you seemed to enjoy that, if you grant me this additional favor, I might be happy to go further.” Her hand, the same one she jerked him off with, closed in and touched the crotch of his shorts, while her tongue, small, delicate and pink, poked out and licked her lips.
The images that assaulted his mind were nearly too much to handle, and he can't help but get hard at the many thoughts he was having, her riding him, taking him into her mouth, wrapping her arms and legs around him while he was on top of her and so many more, but he resolved to not let this happen again, that he wouldn't give in just because she makes some kind of advance towards him. He knows that if he keeps caving in, it will only set him back and hurt him in the end, and so he placed his hand on her wrist, wanting nothing more than to pull her away from him.
To his surprise, he actually manages it. He raises her hand off of him and places it aside, before reaching towards his nearly finished breakfast and grabbing it, standing up, and eating it all before placing it in the sink. Summoning every nerve in his body, Denji looked back to Makima, who stared at him like...
He didn't know what to say of the expression she wore, it sort of reminded her of that brief moment where he cut her down with the Power Saw, a look of confusion and surprise, the inability to understand what had just happened. She was looking at him as though she could not understand him or anything he was saying.
“I'm going to get ready for school,” he said, and he somehow found it in himself to stare her down. “You have a job, it's shitty, but you have one, so don't expect to get anything else from me. Don't try and bribe me with any more sex stuff.” Not bothering to wait for an answer, Denji grabbed his things and went into the bathroom where he washed up, got dressed, and of course masturbated.
By the time he left, Makima had already cleaned up her plate, and had avoided eye contact with him in the short time it took him to go from the bathroom to the front door.
000
The day had been good as far Denji was concerned, he stood up to Makima, he put his foot down and shut down her advances, it's not something he had ever done before. Yes, he attacked her with a chainsaw, but doing that had taken everything he had, but this time it felt easier, it gave him faith that he could do this, that he could keep watch over her and make certain that nothing went wrong. By the time he got home, Makima was already back from work, she only worked four hours a day, four days a week, so she was able to complete a full day's shift before he even finished his classes, and she still refused to talk to him, even after he had made dinner, did his homework and they each settled in for the night.
Her not talking to him wasn't new, but there was something about this silence that he liked, it's happening because he had one over her, that he managed to get his way for once. It made him feel more accomplished than he had before, like maybe he could do this, that he had things under control. Still, despite that, he somehow still missed talking to her, for whatever reason.
“I've been thinking about what I said,” Makima said from her spot on the futon. “And I can't say I'm surprised that you turned me down.”
Denji heard her, but he did his best to ignore her. He didn't want his good mood to be ruined by her saying something that would rile him up.
“You did turn down Himeno after all when she offered to have sex with you.”
Denji shot up where he lay and turned to face her, as she rested on her back, hands folded over her stomach, her hair spread around her head like a red aura. She didn't turn her eyes or head to face him, she merely continued to look at the ceiling.
“How do you-” Denji gasped.
“You were an important asset,” Makima casually said. “I always had eyes on you; insects, rodents, birds, even people, I always made certain you were being watched, that you never left my sights, it was only through all the chaos caused by Chainsaw Man that I lost sight of you, but otherwise I kept full tabs on you.”
Denji knew that this was true, thinking back to it, how could it not? But getting her actual confirmation did little to ease his nerves.
Makima continued. “She was drunk and willing, it would have been easy to take advantage of the situation, to have sex with her and lose your virginity. Word had it that she slept around quite a bit and was good in bed, so you would have been in for a treat, and the best thing is that she would have been dead around lunch the next day, so it would have been consequence free.”
He can't help but feel horrified and disgusted at the moment.
That's when she turned her eyes to him. “But you wanted to be chivalrous about it, even though you had already groped Power.”
“I-” he finally managed to stammer out.
“And don't try and say anything about wanting your first time to be special, you lost all credit when you let me jerk you off.” He was caught off guard by her sudden crudeness, he had never heard her talk like that before, and before he could even think about what to say, she rolled over and turned her back to him. “Good night Denji.”
He didn't know if she fell asleep right there and then, or if she was just done with him for the night, but he knew he didn't want to talk to her anymore either, and rolled back into his original position.
So much for his good mood.
000
The days go on, because that was what they do, and things between them were... more or less the same. Mostly. Kind of. Maybe? He's not sure anymore. She's talking to him more, he figures that's something good, but she only ever says things that she knows will stick to him badly.
“Dinner was good tonight,” she said, and for a moment he thinks that's it. “This was something Aki made, right? It's not as good as he would have cooked up, but he's not around to help you improve.”
“Originally I was going to ask you if I could have some money to buy clothes of my own,” she said, picking up a shirt from the closet. “But I suppose Power's clothes fit me just fine, even if they're right around the chest.”
“Did you not do too well on a test?” she said once when a test slipped out of his book bag and she saw the sub-par grade. “It's not surprising, basic English can be hard, do you need help? For starters, “dog” is spelled D-O-G, is that alright or do you need me to slow down?”
It's like that, a lot. He tried to ignore her, to see if he could stuff down this building frustration inside him every time she spoke, but all it did was seem to egg her on more.
“It's a bit heartless, don't you think? Making me work just so you can hoard the money I make?” she said and he wanted to shout that getting a job was her idea.
“You're lucky Meowy gets along with my dogs, it could have gotten nasty if they decided to get a little bit rough during play and we could have come home to see blood smears on the walls,” she said and he tries not to think back to the wall across her from original apartment's door.
“I saw the news today, Chainsaw Man killed the Stubbed Toe Devil, but a few people died in the process. How careless of you, but that's not anything new, you just don't think about those kinds of things, do you?” she said, and he wants to just leave the apartment.
It goes on like this for weeks, nearly every time they're in the same room she says something that make him angry or depressed, and he just wants her to stop talking, but he knows that if shows any signs that she's getting to him that she'll have that sweet smile on her face that lets him know how she thinks of him, truly thinks of him. He's just tired all the time of having to endure her.
“The actress in this movie is beautiful,” she said one night while they were watching TV, and already he's trying to figure out how she'll turn this around on him. “You have eyes, so I know you agree with me.” He does, it's some drama and he's not paid much attention to her because he's paying too much attention to her. “You know Denji, I think you should let me use my powers.”
“What?” he said, resisting the urge to snap at her. “No, I'm not doing that, you know there's no way I'm letting that happen.”
“So you're telling me that you never thought about it? Taking advantage of what I could do?” she coyly asked.
He gave off an annoyed groan. “What are you talking about?”
“I can control people's minds, I can tell them to do whatever I want and they'll be thankful for that. I can't imagine you've never been tempted to have me do something like that for your benefit.”
“I don't want to mind control anyone, why would I ever do something like that?”
“Because it's fun, it's easy. You can do whatever you want and no one can stop you.” She turned to him, and placed a finger to her chin as though she was lost in thought. “What if we went out, just walked around the streets or mall or the park, and your eyes caught a girl you found attractive? All I would need would be your say so and you would have fun for the night, a total stranger more than happy to serve you in any way you desire.”
He felt disgusted by this.
“I mean, there must be some girls you find attractive at school, a fellow student or two, maybe even a teacher.” She smiled. “Someone who would never think twice about you because they don't want to debase themselves otherwise if they had the choice.”
There's an anger building up in him now, because she's right, there are cute classmates at school, teachers too, and they're in his imaginary rolodex when he's in the bathroom. “Just shut up already already, no one does anything like that.” He turned away from her and back to the TV, wanting to focus on whatever this way instead of her. He just needed to tolerate her for the rest of the night.
He didn't notice Makima coming up on him until her hand was on his shoulder, and when he turned to her, her face was only inches away from his, and he found himself staring into those golden-ringed eyes. They were beautiful eyes, and as they got closer he thought that maybe she was going in to kiss him, and he wanted to push her away from him, to get her away, but she was this close to him, and she smelled nice. A part of him wanted her to kiss him, but instead she moved past his mouth and placed hers next to his ear.
And she whispered.
“I fucked Reze.”
The world then went silent, as though something had broken. She pulled away from him, a smile on her lips and he stared at his with an expression of shock and appall.
“You... wha...” he said, trying to fit his mind around what she had said.
“She came for you, to meet you at the diner,” she said, looking happy and content in her admission. “She came into the alleyway across the street just as you got to the diner, but I found her first. She really did come for you, she really did love you, but I made her love me more. You don't remember it, but when Pochita was in charge of your body, she's one of the Hybrids I had attacked you with. She didn't even think twice about it because if she gave me your heart I would have taken her on a date.”
Everything was suddenly fuzzy, as if he wasn't here anymore, but still here, if that made any sense.
“But you killed her twice, ripped her to pieces like it was nothing and you, and I couldn't help but be amused by it.” She leaned forward again, her face nearly an inch from his. “I made her scream in ways you never could.”
He pushed her off of him and stumbled to the bathroom, slamming the door shut to close off her melodic laughter, and he gripped the sink, almost throwing up, but dry heaving was the best he could do.
Denji had tried not to think about Reze, about where she had gone and what had happened to her, and as time went on it was easy because there was just so much other stuff going on. But now he knows she had come, that she had wanted to be there for him, and it's... it's just...
The door creaked open, and Makima entered, and he tried to ignore her.
“I wouldn't bother looking for her,” she said, closing the door behind her and leaning back against it. “She was likely taken into Public Safety's custody, so if she hasn't been put to work, she's been put down, but either way you'll never see her again. Just like a lot of people you knew.”
He gripped the edges of the sink corner in an effort to stop his arms from shaking. It doesn't work.
“She might have been it, you know? That person you were waiting for, that person who you wanted to make you feel loved and special in ways that no one else could? It's why you run around being Chainsaw Man, am I right?” she said, and he wants her to stop talking, for her to just shut up. “You go around, killing devils like some sort of super hero, hoping your fame will get someone to love you, but it won't work, because underneath Chainsaw Man's exterior is just you, an awful boy who killed his friends and family.” She then giggles, he had never heard her giggle, it's both playful and cruel. “It's like I said Denji, no matter what happiness you get, I'll be there to crush it.”
“Why?” he found himself hissing out, it's not something he wants to ask, but he wants something out of this, something to try and cling onto and reason with, to just make sense.
“Why?” she played with a smile. “You took my dream, Denji, a life with the real Chainsaw Man by my side while I shape the world into perfection, so why should you get your dream? It was an impossible one even under the best of circumstances, but with me as your prisoner, I'll turn all your dreams to ash.”
Makima laughed, the same laugh she made after Power had been killed.
He hates her.
Denji roared and turned to Makima, grabbed her by the shoulders, slammed her against the bathroom door, and she looked up at him with wide and surprised and wide eyes stare back at her, she's surprised and caught off guard, but even as the seconds pass by and he holds her there, there's not a single trace of fear, but even like this he can't help but find her beautiful.
He loves her, despite everything.
Later, he would come to regret everything he did at this moment.
He kissed her, he was rough and forceful, clumsy with him just trying to figure out how to do it as she moaned against his mouth, trying to push against him, and it's the best kiss he's ever had because it's the only one where he didn't get hurt. Himeno vomited down his throat, and Reze bit his tongue off, so is it so bad to want one nice kiss, one where he can just enjoy himself? Or is that too much for the universe to give him?
He pulls back, and they both gasp for air, there's blood rushing to his ears and his heart is beating like a drum in his chest.
“You kissed me,” she said, surprised.
Any confidence he had began to dwindle at that moment. “I...”
“If you're so desperate for affection, then use the money I work for to buy yourself a prostitute, it's the most you'll ever get,” she sneered.
And then it's back, that anger and frustration, all swirling together into how much he hated and loved her, and before he knew it he's going back in, kissing her with the determination of a starving man for those fucking scraps from the dinner table. She tastes sweet, he's enjoying the sensation of her tongue as he shoves his into her mouth, and the sounds of protest she's making are music to his ears because he's never heard her like this. It almost feels like he's getting something back from her, something he didn't know she took, and he wants more.
He reaches down and pulls up her shirt, there's nothing she can do as he forces it off and over her head before tossing it into some random corner, and he drinks the sight of her body in. He's seen her in t-shirts and tank tops, but he's never seen her topless. She's not wearing a bra, and her breasts are free to the air. He's thought so much about them over the last year, ever since that day were she let him fondle them to make that fucking pact, and before he knew it his hands were on them. His ministrations were like his kisses, greedy and rough, wanting to feel the soft and round mounds of flesh under his hands, pressing them against her chest while he pinched one of her nipples. Makima tried to cry out, but he didn't want to hear her, so pressed his mouth against her, reducing her to only moans of protest.
His erection is pressing into her stomach, and he was grinding himself against her, it's like fire burning through his veins, and never before had he wanted to get off before. There's no thoughts going through his head when he reaches down with one hand to his shorts and-
Makima then headbutts him, there's enough force there that it sends him falling backward, but he manages to grab her shoulder so she joins him on the floor. It takes him out for a moment, the brief knock around feeling as his back and head hit the tile, and Makima uses this moment to quickly straddle his hips and pin his wrists down to the ground, all while staring at him from above him with glaring, angry eyes. Her loose hair falls around her head and around in flowing locks of red. He had never seen her angry before, and there's something about her he finds attractive.
That's when she reached down and kissed him, it caught him off guard, he had never expected this, and it's easy for him to get swept away in how her mouth and tongue feel against his, how she seems to be getting into it and how he's the one moaning against her. His cock is pressed against her crotch, layers of underwear and pants separating them, but she then starts to grind her hips to his own and it feels like heaven, having a warm body like that against him, moving and stimulating him. She tightens her grip on his wrists and-
No. He doesn't want that, he doesn't want to be pinned under like this is. He had kissed her because he wanted this, not her, and he will not allow her to take control of the situation again. He had enough of taking what she wanted from him, and he certainly wasn't going to let her take anymore than she had. Denji is taller than Makima, and he's stronger, so it's not much effort for him to flip them over and they hit the side of the tub, but he merely grabs her back to the center of the floor, and their positions are reversed, with him on top of her, pinning her down by the wrists.
“Bastard,” she hissed, struggling against him, but she can only budge him the slightest amount, as any supernatural strength she had had been taken along with her contracts.
“Shut the fuck up,” he said, and kissed her again, taking what he wanted from her, before moving their hands together so he can pin both of her wrists together with one hand. The other one downward, squeezing a tit on the way down before it grabs the hem of her pants and underwear and he pulls them down. She doesn't make it easy, she fights and kicks him the whole time, and a part of him wants to stop, thinking he's doing something wrong, but then he looks into those eyes and those thoughts are dismissed. That's not the look of someone who wants this to stop, that's the look of someone who is mad that they are losing, that they're not the one taking control of the situation.
Denji is done with Makima taking control.
Soon enough, her pants are gone, and just like that she's naked underneath him, and all his wildest fantasies do not compare to what he is looking at. His eyes are drawn to the bush of red hair between her legs, and the cunt below it, and for the briefest of seconds he wants to touch and prod and taste and do all sorts of things to satisfy his curiosity and explore the thing he had only ever seen in magazines. But he's rock hard, it's painful in his shorts, and he wants nothing more than to be inside her, so he quickly uses his hand to pull down his shorts down to his knees, and lets his cock spring free of its confines. Denji wanted to look at her while he fucked her, so he reached back up and held both of her hands down, all while awkwardly thrusting his cock against her, most of his attempts missing, but every touch his his lower head against her skin sent shivers up his spine.
It was on the sixth thrust did he manage to hit his target, and the warmth of her entrance greeted him and as his head it slotted into her cunt they both froze as they realized what was about to happen.
“Are you a virgin?” he found himself asking, and he wanted to smack himself for it. It was something he wondered from time to time, and while he would never hold it against her if she had experience before him, she had been a successful and accomplished woman, so she must have had other people who wanted to be with her, and he had worried that he would fall short compared to them. When he learned that she was a devil, that question still strayed into his mind from time to time, and he found himself wondering What If, because why would a devil have sex with a human?
She gave a cruel grin. “Are you afraid of measuring up to anyone else? That you'll fall short?”
Fuck her, he thinks to himself, before he pushes his dick all the way into her, one quick thrust and he's pushed in to the hilt, his pelvis pushing into hers. Makima gasps at the sudden insertion, her face contorting uncomfortably, yet still managing to glare at him, and the feeling of her warm and tight cunt around him is heavenly, the muscles spasming and moving around him is almost too much to bear, and while a part of him wants to hold this position, to indulge in this feeling, a large, more hungry part does not. Pulling out, Denji is quick to slam back into her, causing her to grunt as her body shakes underneath him, her chest jiggling at their movement, and he's caught memorized by them, and it only encourages him to keep going, to fuck her as hard as he can, holding her down so she can't turn this around on him. Makima doesn't say anything, she just grunts with him, and moans when he reaches down and forces a kiss onto her, and he shoots down any efforts she makes to be the dominating partner here.
Eventually, with a loud series of grunts, Denji came, holding himself to her body as he shot his load deep inside her, her warm slick tunnel welcoming his cum, his hold on her wrists tightening while he buried his face into her shoulder. She struggles against him, tries to pull her arms away, tries to use her legs to flip them over, but there's nothing she can do, he's not going to let him stop her from having the best feeling he had ever had in his life, she's not going to take this happiness away from him this time.
When he finishes, he can feel his cock soften inside her, and he relaxes his body and lets his body weight press on hers. He feels good, it feels better than any time he's jerked off, and he just wants to shut the world off around him and let sleep claim him.
But Makima had to ruin that too.
“Was that all?” she said, condescending tone and all. “After all that, that's the best you can do?” Another laugh that he loves and hates. “Pathetic Denji.”
Blood begins to pump inside him again, that fire being stoked again as he anger and frustration returns, and gripping her wrists again does he push himself against her again. It doesn't take long before he's hard again, and soon he's back to where they were before, and soon he's cumming once again. Before he gets ready for the third round, he removes his shorts and his shirt, throwing the latter at her face, before he starts again, and while he can't be completely certain of it, he thinks she might have cum herself, she tightened around him, gave a shuddered groan and there was suddenly more wetness between them as he body shook. The idea that he was able to do that to her, when she was clearly trying to fight against her own pleasures, manages to get a fourth out of him.
In the end, they both pass out on the bathroom floor.
000
When Denji woke up the next morning, arm around Makima's chest, the memories came back to him with horrifying clarity. He remembers him and Makima, more of her barbed words, and his reaction to them. Them in the bathroom where she told him how much she hated him and what he did to her, how he forced himself on her and took his pleasure from her, and just how good it felt and how much we wanted it to keep going.
He felt he was going to be sick with himself.
Denji could barely think as he left her passed out on the floor and got dressed, and in a rush tried to get his things together, stopping only long enough to feed Meowy because he knows Makima can't do that, before he runs out of the apartment. It's early in the morning, so school won't be for several more hours, but he knows he can't be in that apartment, and that he should stay away from it for as long as he can.
School goes by in a blur, he can't focus on anything, and he forgets several assignments which results in teachers being upset with him. He's not a great student, he knows that, but he really does try, and for everything awful she did, Reze left him with that.
He shoved what Makima said about Reze out of his mind.
After school he turns into Chainsaw Man and he's just looking for a devil to kill, for something to keep his mind off of what is waiting for him back at the apartment, but today seems to be a good day for the people of Tokyo, and there are no devils running amok. Good for them, but awful for him because his mind keeps getting stuck with what happened last night.
For everything she did, Denji still remembered what Makima had told him, about intimacy and how it felt better with someone he trusted and liked, and after that he had wanted to save himself for her, because she was special and meant so much to him. After everything that had happened, had happened, even if it wasn't her he still wanted to be with someone like that, someone who liked him for his Denji heart.
But that was his first time, and he was a shitty enough person to get off to it. He really was the worst, wasn't he? Maybe Makima was right, maybe he didn't deserve to be happy.
It's nearly midnight when he comes home, Makima is watching TV, dressed in the same pajamas from last night, with the dogs around her as usual. She makes no effort to acknowledge him as he comes in, and through sluggish paces does he feed Meowy and get changed for bed, and when he leaves the bathroom he goes straight to bed. He's tired after this day, and he hopes that nothing else will happen. It's nearly an hour later when Makima turns off the TV and goes to her side of the futon, and for a moment, Denji thinks that's it, that they can just move and never mention this again.
But like always, he gets it wrong.
“Because I'm a devil, I can't get pregnant,” she said from her spot behind his back, and that sickening nausea returned. He never thought about that. “But even if I was human, I doubt you would have planted a bastard in me, since you're half devil.” Kids were something Denji never considered, but it looks like that choice had already been made. “Maybe it's for the better, they say that the apple never falls far from the tree, and you do look so much like your father.”
Already he can feel his blood boil inside him.
If he's lucky, this will be the last they talk about this, that they'll move past this and never talk about it again. If he's lucky, they can go back to how things usually are.
000
Not even a full week later and he's fucking her again.
Denji can't really recall what it was she had said, but he knew that he reached some kind of limit in himself, and then he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the bathroom. He tosses her in there first before slamming the door shut behind him, and soon he's on her, and just like before it's a fight for control, or domination of the situation, but like last time he's not going to let her win. Soon enough they are both stripped and once again on the floor, and he's fucking her to his heart's content, and when he's done he leaves her in there to clean up on her own.
He leaves to go do Chainsaw Man stuff.
000
“I made Aki love me, you know, so I wonder how he would feel about this? Would he be disappointed in you, or jealous? How does it feel to cuckold the man you thought of as a brother? He died for you, you killed him, and this is how you repay him.”
He chokes Makima on his cock for that, shoves her face in until her nose is against his pubic hair, he fucks her mouth until she's a mess of spit, cum and tears and he ends the session by spraying his last load onto her face and chest.
000
“You remember Quanxi? The Crossbow Hybrid that tried to kill you? I had her under my control as well, and I had both her and Reze at the same time. They moaned like the whores they were, and they were happy to serve me despite the fact I killed them before. Have you reconsidered my option of going out and taking some random woman off the street? Maybe have her join us?”
He shoves her over the counter, pulls down her pants and fucks her behind for that. She has a nice ass, he's a boobs guy but he can't deny how good her ass looks and how it feels when he drives his hips into her. With one hand he's holding her by the end of her hair, while the other one slaps her ass until it's red.
She started to wear more skirts after that, and a sick part of him is thankful for that.
000
One day he comes home and she's playing video games. It was odd, she had never seemed to care about that, that it wasn't something she had any interest in doing, but it was something she was doing, putting all her attention into it. She's actually gotten pretty far into the level she was on, and a part of him, one that's naïve and stupid, thinks that maybe they can play together.
“By the way, I deleted Power's save file to make room,” she said nonchalantly.
He fucked her ass for that. He briefly fucks her face to get his dick covered in spit before her head is shoved down to the floor, and instead of her cunt he fucks her ass. She cried out, and it seemed to be the only time she was fighting to get him off of her, but it didn't take long before things returned to normal, and it's a fight to be on top, a fight that she loses.
If he had any doubts about her comfort and how he felt about it, a few days later he found a bottle of lube under the sink.
000
She grabs onto him and sinks her nails into his back, while his teeth sink into her shoulder until she breaks the skin and his blood is on the tips of fingers, so it's only natural he does so in return. He's tasted plenty of devil blood, it's all nasty, and her's isn't much different besides that it's somehow sweeter, and considering that this had partially been the original plan he's not opposed to tasting her more.
Blood drinking comes with the added bonus of a boost of stamina, so he can keep going, and the healing is good because otherwise she would be walking around in public with bruises on her wrists and neck that wouldn't be easy to explain.
000
Denji thinks about the contract between them, how she can't use her powers and how she's not allowed to hurt anyone without his say so. He can ignore the pain when she bites and claws at him, but it still hurts, she's still drawing blood, and then there's everything she keeps saying, all these hurtful things that stab right at his heart and her sadistic pleasure in how much it hurts him.
Do the words of his contract apply to him as well? Or is he allowing this to happen?
Does he deserve to be hurt?
000
He prefers to fuck in the bathroom instead of the main room, it's easy to clean and it's always private in there, he's not too comfortable with all the dogs and Meowy staring at them while they fuck, though he's surprised that the dogs give them room. He would have expected them to jump on them and get in their way like they do most of the time, so maybe Makima has them more well-trained than he thought, but either way, the futon is better in the long term as long as the sheets are on them.
000
Due to blood drinking, he was able to keep going for three days to kill the Eternity Devil.
Due to blood drinking, he and Makima are able to fuck an entire weekend away, and it's not until he looked out the window and saw that it was night out did he realize this.
000
He thinks he's getting good at making her cum, she grunts and twists her body, trying to fight him off because she sees it as him having another victory over her, but it's getting easier to get her wet every time he enters her. He should feel proud of himself that he's able to do this, but he doesn't.
000
They're both in the tub, and from past experience he knows not to fill it all the way because they'll just get it all over the floor. He's leaning back against the side, while she straddles his hips, his cock still inside her, while her head rests on his shoulder. It's nice, he likes this, just holding her while she holds him in return, and if he allows himself, he can think of this as something good, something nice that will make him happy.
An hour ago she asked him if he would one day beat her like his father beat his mother, and he fell for her trap and fucked her against the wall, leaving bruises on her soft skin.
“You know Denji,” she said with a soft sigh. “I think we might be perfect for one another after all.”
“Huh?” he asked, shifting slightly in the water and turning his head to face him. Did he hear that right?
“Think about it,” she continued. “We're both awful people who hurt others for our own selfish reasons, but due to the circumstances surrounding us, we're forced to be together no matter what. You have me, and I have you, because in the end, no one else will have us.” Her arms tightened around him, like she was trying to form a noose with her arms, and her nails dug into his skin. “And it's all your fault,” she said, and there's something in her voice he never heard before, something small and vulnerable. “So congratulations, you got me, now you have to deal with the consequences.” That one small moment was then gone and the spiteful resentment had returned.
Denji grabbed her ass, his nails digging into her cheeks, lifted her off of him, and slammed her down and she answered with a cry.
000
Despite everything, after all the pain and death and how much she hurt him and the people he loved, Denji still loved Makima, but he had also come to hate her too, because having her around just reminds him of what he had lost and what his life is now. He hates that he loves her, but maybe loving to hate her is the only way to get through this. How Makima feels about him, he can't tell, she takes part in this twisted sex as a willing participant, she says the things that she knows will result in forcing himself on her, so maybe she's getting a kick out of it? He doesn't know anymore, but it's what he has.
She was right, no one else would have them, so all they had was one another, so he might as well get used to it.