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A Platonic Kiss
It had been a good day. Osamu had wrapped up his latest mission quickly, so he didn’t have to see Chuuya for more than a few hours, and during those hours, he’d even managed to win yet another bet with the annoying chibi. Winning five rounds of his newest video game in a row ensured that Chuuya had to spend their entire next mission calling him ‘the amazing, wonderful, incredibly talented, clever, and handsome Dazai,’ and while Chuuya was complaining and demanding yet another rematch that he was destined to lose, a bird had pooped on his hat.
Osamu had laughed so hard he almost fell off the stone fence he’d been sitting on.
And he was on his way to drinks with Odasaku and Ango. The only way his day could get better was if he discovered a painless suicide method that actually worked.
“Hello, friends,” he called as he made his way down the stairs of Bar Lupin.
“Well, you seem to be in a good mood,” Ango said as he adjusted his glasses and turned on his bar stool to face Osamu.
“Of course I am,” Osamu said as he walked closer and threw his arm around Odasaku’s shoulders, “I’m with my friends.”
Ango studied him, looking far more suspicious of him than Osamu thought was necessary. Did he not trust his friend? What had Osamu ever done to deserve that look?
…probably a lot.
“You seem like you’re up to something,” Ango said slowly. Really, the lack of trust was hurtful.
“That’s so mean, Ango,” Osamu said before looking at Odasaku. Odasaku was always willing to believe him…or at least pretend to.
“He’s just happy he’s with his friends, Ango,” Odasaku said, reliable as ever.
He couldn’t help it—in part because Odasaku was inadvertently helping him annoy Ango, partly because he wanted to ham up his excitement over seeing his friends, partly because he knew this bit would make Ango uncomfortable, and mostly because he really wanted an excuse to kiss Odasaku—Osamu leaned in and kissed Odasaku loudly on the cheek.
“Yeah, I love my friends,” he said, grinning ear to ear, as he started advancing on Ango.
“What are you doing?” Ango asked as he backed away. The look he was giving Osamu now was even more suspicious and a little scared. It was hilarious.
“Come on, don’t you want a kiss too, Ango?”
“No!” Ango snapped as he chased him across the bar. “Don’t come near me!”
“But, Ango, I love you! Come here.”
“No!”
Even as he chased Ango around the room, Osamu noticed Odasaku touched his cheek before he turned back to the bar and took a sip of his drink.
An Accidental Kiss
It wasn’t long before they met at the bar again. Sakunosuke was the first to arrive this time, and he ordered his usual as he waited.
Dazai came in next, and while he wasn't as cheerful as last time, he was still as upbeat as he usually was around Sakunosuke. With a quick hello, he took his seat and ordered himself a drink.
Sakunosuke had no reason to expect anything else, but he still felt disappointed.
Of course there was no reason for Dazai to touch him again. As tactile as Dazai could be, he usually only put himself in Sakunosuke’s personal space when he was angling for attention or bored. He didn't usually put his arm around Sakunosuke as soon as he entered. And the kiss was just to tease his friends because he was in a good mood and giddy. It wasn’t something Sakunosuke should expect a repeat of.
Still, he found himself saying, “No kiss hello this time? You aren’t happy to see me?” his voice even and his eyes glued to his drink.
Dazai gasped, loud and dramatic. “Odasaku,” he practically sang. “You want to kiss me!”
Any form of denial would just lead to teasing, but Sakunosuke wasn’t going to admit to anything either. Better to keep calm and pretend he didn’t care at all.
“If you say so,” he said before taking a sip of his drink.
“Admit it, Odasaku, you want to kiss me,” Dazai continued to tease.
“Sure,” he said, knowing Dazai wouldn’t hear the truth in it if he made sure not to react at all besides saying the one word. No change in tone. Calm, even breaths.
“Do you want me to kiss you hello from now on? Give you a big, old—”
Sakunosuke finally turned to look at him, but he hadn’t realized Dazai had leaned in to kiss his cheek. Their lips met, and for the first time that evening, Sakunosuke let his breath catch. The smallest of gasps as he felt the soft warmth of Dazai’s lips press against his own. They should have pulled back, should have jumped in surprise, should have done something besides lean in more.
It only lasted a second. They barely even moved their lips at all before pulling apart. But it felt longer. It felt significant.
“—smooch,” Dazai whispered once they had the space to speak.
Before Sakunosuke could think of anything to say, before Dazai could joke, or tease, or take the opportunity to be serious for once, they heard footsteps on the stairs.
They didn’t have to move far, just a shift of a couple inches to straighten in their seats and lean apart, then they were ready to look completely normal for Ango.
Or, they would have been if they could have stopped staring at each other.
“Is something the matter?” Ango’s question finally drew their gaze from each other to him.
“No,” Sakunosuke said with a shake of his head.
“Yes,” Dazai said, possibly just to be contradictory. “You’re late, Ango!” he accused, his tone teasing like a child’s. It was a decent try at a distraction, it was the sort of thing Dazai would bother Ango about normally.
Ango scoffed as he made his way to his stool. “We never set a meeting time, so I can hardly be late.”
“Late, late, late,” Dazai sang as he turned back to face the bar.
“Odasaku,” Ango asked, ignoring Dazai, “did something happen?”
Did something happen? Anything that would actually matter? Anything that Ango should know? That would affect their friendship? That would ever be mentioned again after tonight?
“You were late, Ango,” Sakunosuke said as he lifted his glass off the bar, Dazai’s song of ‘late, late, late’ echoing in the background.
Ango groaned. “Oh, not you too.”
Did something happen?
Sakunosuke gave his head the smallest of shakes before taking a sip of his drink.
No, nothing happened.
A Drunk Kiss
After a drink. Or two. Or seven…Osamu lost count somewhere…
What was he thinking about?
That Odasaku looked good tonight? Probably. If it wasn’t that, it should be. Because Odasaku looked good. He always looked good.
They hadn’t gotten a chance to be alone this time. Last time they had. That had been interesting. And fun. They should do that again.
“Dazai, your finger is touching my face.”
Huh. So it was. His finger was digging into the skin of Odasaku’s cheek, near his mouth.
He should be touching way more than that.
“Odasakuuuu,” he said, words slurring as he pulls his finger away from Odasaku’s face and instead draped himself over his shoulders. “I want to kiss you.”
Osamu could hear Ango saying something about ‘enough for the night,’ but he didn't really care. Odasaku’s face was so close to his. He pressed a kiss to his jaw, then let his lips drag down his neck. He wasn’t concerned about if his kisses were sloppy or his technique was good. Osamu was too consumed at that moment with the desire to reach where Odasaku’s neck met his shoulder and take a bite.
But before he could, his face was pushed away by a firm, warm hand against his forehead.
“That’s not a good idea,” Odasaku said, making Osamu whine as he let the hand that was still on his forehead hold his head up.
“Why not?” he asked, voice as petulant as he could make it. “Don’t you want to kiss me?”
“Not when you’re drunk.”
“Well,” Ango said, his stool scraping against the floor as he stood up, “I’ll be taking my leave. I’ll leave Dazai in your care, Odasaku.”
“Bye, Ango,” Osamu called out with a careless wave of his hand. “Odasaku, take care of me,” he continued, “Ango said you have to.”
Odasaku stood, pulling his hand away from Dazai’s head—which started to fall as soon as Odasaku wasn’t holding it up anymore—only to stand and pull Dazai to his feet with an arm around his back.
“I’ll take you home then.”
“Your home?” Osamu asked.
“Sure.”
A Kiss to Regret
It’s not that they’ve never gotten drunk together, but it’d never led to this before. Dazai was more drunk than Sakunosuke was, but neither of them were sober enough to be trusted to make any decisions that night. Sakunosuke knew that. But that didn’t stop him from being tempted.
“Odasaku,” Dazai said his name again. He kept saying it, kept repeating the nickname he’d given him and asking for things Sakunosuke wanted to give but shouldn’t. Dazai’s hands tugged at his shirt even as Sakunosuke led them towards the bedroom.
He gently pushed Dazai’s hands away, but Dazai just started kissing his shoulder through his shirt, kissing his neck, his jaw.
Once they reached the bed, Sakunosuke pushed Dazai down onto the sheets.
“Odasaku,” he said again, hands reaching for Sakunosuke where he stood by the bed. He managed to loop one finger through Sakunosuke’s belt loop, but it was easy enough for him to resist Dazai’s pull and break his grip by stepping away.
More drunk than tipsy himself, exhausted, and trying his best not to take advantage of his friend, Sakunosuke dropped onto the other side of the bed. He lay on his back and closed his eyes, ignoring Dazai’s shuffling around and calling out to him, until—
“Sakunosuke.”
Dazai never used his given name, and never called out to him in that tone. His voice was soft and breathy, deep and so close. Sakunosuke opened his eyes and turned his head to find Dazai’s face centimeters from his own.
“Sakunosuke,” Daizai said again, “Kiss me.”
And Sakunosuke did. He closed his eyes, leaned in, and pressed their lips together.
It was so much more than their last kiss. They didn’t pull apart this time. No, Sakunosuke rolled onto his side and cupped Dazai’s cheek without thinking twice about it. He let their lips move against each other. Swallowed Dazai’s moan as he felt a warm body press against his chest. He was seconds away from rolling them over and deepening the kiss when he finally remembered himself.
What was he doing? Dazai was drunk. He was drunk. This was a bad idea.
With a groan, he pulled away and rolled onto his back.
“Go to sleep, Dazai,” he said as he covered his eyes with his hand.
“But, Odasaku—”
“Sleep,” Sakunosuke said again, this time covering Dazai’s eyes with his hand.
Dazai only grumbled a little, but then he stopped fidgeting and talking, and finally, seemed to have listened and decided to sleep. Good. If he’d pushed anymore, Sakunosuke wasn't sure he’d have been able to keep resisting.
He already regretted giving in as much as he had, he didn’t want to wake up having more to apologize for.
A Kiss to Shut Them Up
Osamu hardly ever slept through the night. It didn’t matter if he was exhausted or sick, he would likely wake up after a few hours. The same went for when he was hungover.
He woke up in Odasaku’s bed, next to his still sleeping friend.
Odasaku’s face was so peaceful in sleep. His hair was messy, and his face covered in stubble. He was nice to look at. But also so boring when he was asleep and not able to entertain Osamu.
“Odasaku,” he called out as he poked his cheek.
A grunt.
A turn.
So boring.
“Odasaku,” he called out again in a singsong voice. “Wake up, Odasaku. I’m bored.”
“Go back to sleep,” Odasaku said, voice rough with sleep, eyes still closed.
“I’m your guest. Entertain me,” Osamu said while poking Odasaku’s face, neck, shoulders, anywhere he could reach. “Time to get up and start the day. Things to do, people to annoy.”
Odasaku cracked his eyes open. Good, it was working.
“You kissed me last night,” Osamu continued, his tone light and teasing. “I remember. You took me home, could have had your way with me, but you missed your chance.”
While he was speaking, Odasaku sat up. Finally!
“I’m a catch you know. Youngest executive in history, and you pushed me away. So rude, Odasa—
Before he could finish, Odasaku’s lips were against his.
The kiss was soft and warm and shocking and finally, finally, finally—
Too short.
Only a second after their lips touched, Odasaku was pulling away.
“Quiet,” he said, the edge of his mouth twitching up towards a smile as he walked out of the room.
Did he just—?
Ha! Osamu laughed aloud to the empty room before jumping out of the bed.
Odasaku thought he was so clever. But all he’d done was show Osamu how to get kissed again.
He found Odasaku in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee. He looked tired but much too proud of himself.
Osamu hopped onto the counter, taking a seat and making himself comfortable as he helped himself to the cup that was in Odasaku’s hand and took a sip.
“So, what are your plans today?” He asked as Odasaku poured himself a new cup. “If you don’t have any plans tonight, you can join me in a double suicide. I thought of a new method to try yesterday. I just need to buy some rope.”
“I have plans,” Odasaku said, expression not changing at all. “I’m having drinks with you and Ango.”
“Oh, right.”
“Maybe just Ango.”
“If I’m lucky,” Osamu said before taking another sip. “So, I have to buy rope today, and Chuuya hates when I trick him into helping me with a suicide attempt so that’s going to be hilarious. He’s going to scream when he realizes why I detoured from the mission to go to the store. I should go somewhere out of the way.” He put his hand to his chin as he thought. “Maybe that hardware store across town?”
“The shop next door has good curry.”
“You would know,” Osamu said. “I’ll get you some.”
“Thanks.”
“So, I have to get rope and curry, annoy Chuuya, try out my new suicide attempt, and meet you for drinks if I’m still alive. It’ll be a busy day. Busy, busy—”
“Dazai,” Odasaku said, finally looking him in the eye.
“Yeah?”
“Are you talking a lot so I’ll kiss you again?”
“Yeah,” Osamu said, pouting, “and it’s not working at all.”
“Ah,” Odasaku hummed before leaning in and kissing him again.
“Finally.”
Odasaku shrugged. “You could kiss me too.”
He could, but that wouldn't have been as much fun. But now that Odasaku had said it out loud, there wasn't a reason for Osamu not to, especially when he was getting tired of these short, chaste kisses.
Using just his finger, he pulled Odasaku closer by his shirt collar and held him there as he kissed him. There wouldn't be any pulling away this time. No leaving the room. Reaching with his leg, he nudged Odasaku until he stood in front of him and Osamu could cage him between his knees. That was better.
“We should kiss more often,” Osamu said between kisses.
“Okay.”
“Like all the time.”
Odasaku couldn't answer for a moment as Osamu wasn’t ready to pull back again yet. Now that he had permission, he wanted to keep his lips on Odasaku as long as possible. But he finally managed a breathy, “Sure,” against Osamu’s lips.
With that settled, Osamu finally pulled away only to kiss his way along Odasaku’s jaw and neck. If he had permission to kiss Odasaku, he was going to kiss everywhere he was allowed.
An Upside Down Kiss
Sakunosuke wasn't expecting to see Dazai again until he arrived at the bar—because despite Dazai’s hopes for the day, he was sure he would be seeing both of his friends at the bar that night—so he was surprised to find him hanging around the streets outside.
“Odasaku!” Dazai called out to him as Sakunosuke drew closer.
“Dazai,” he said, nodding as he stopped before him. Dazai was hanging, upside down, against the side of a building. “What are you doing?”
Dazai let out a chuckle as he shrugged, or at least attempted to. “The structure of this building looked perfect for supporting a noose,” he explained, “but when I was trying to tie it, I got tangled up and tripped.” He gestured toward his leg, which was wrapped in a mess of ropes that were suspended from the rooftop. “Now I’m stuck.”
“Oh,” Sakunosuke said as he took in the scene. “Did you go by the curry shop today?”
“Yeah! I dropped some off for you at the bar already,” Dazai said, holding a conversation quite well for someone dangling from the side of a building. “It was way too spicy when I tried some for lunch though.”
Dazai always thought the best curry was too spicy. His sense of taste made no sense.
“Thank you,” Sakunosuke said before turning to walk away.
“Wait!” Dazai called out from behind him. “Odasaku, don’t just leave me here! Is this how you treat your boyfriend?”
“Oh right,” Sakunosuke said as he turned back around. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Dazai’s lips—an odd feeling when he was upside down—before continuing, “It’s nice to see you.” That finished, he started walking towards the bar—and his curry—again.
“Sorry,” Sakunosuke said, still headed towards the bar. “I have plans.”
“Plans with me , Odasaku! Get back—Ow!”
By the sound of things, either the rope had snapped or it had unlatched from the roof. Either way, he was sure if he turned around he’d see Dazai on the ground under a pile of rope.
He didn’t turn.
As he walked into the bar, Sakunosuke wondered if the curry would still be warm.
A Kiss Goodbye
“Dazai, you’re following me.”
He was, but it wasn’t like Osamu had anything better to do. He hadn’t been assigned a mission yet, and annoying Mori didn’t sound that fun. Not when he could be spending the day with Odasaku.
He could watch Odasaku fight, maybe get to see a bomb (explode, if they were lucky), and now there was a chance that he might get kissed too. What could be better than that?
“I’m going to work with you today, Odasaku!”
“Alright.”
That was one of the best things about Odasaku, he always went along with Osamu’s plans so easily.
“So, what are we doing today?” Osamu asked as they made their way down the street.
Please let it be a bomb. Please let it be a bomb. Please let it be a bomb.
“I have to diffuse a bomb—”
“Yes!” Osamu cheered, pumping his fist in the air as he did a little jump. “Your job is so cool, Odasaku,” he said, eyes wide as he stared up at his boyfriend.
“Hmm.”
“Do you think we’ll blow up?”
“No.”
“What if we do? What a way to go…” Osamu trailed off wistfully. Odasaku had the best job. Osamu’s life was never in danger when he was at work. Well…not really. Not when he had Chuuya as a human shield from weapons, his ability protecting him from other abilities, and most people were too dumb to think of a trap that was good enough to actually work on him.
It wasn’t long before Odasaku stopped at the side door to a building. “It’s in here,” he said as he pulled the door open.
The bomb was small and attached to a pillar in a parking structure. If it exploded, it would not only cause panic in the city, it’d likely destroy the buildings on either side of the structure and kill a lot of people. It was no wonder Mori wanted it handled. If someone (someone who wasn't them at least) blew up a building in the city that was under the Port Mafia’s watch, it’d undermine Mori’s power.
“So cool,” Osamu said again as he watched Odasaku kneel next to the bomb and examine it. But just as he was opening the side panel, Odasaku paused and looked at him.
“What?” Osamu asked.
Odasaku just nodded towards Osamu’s pocket, which started ringing at that moment.
Huh. Must be important if Odasaku wasn't just telling him to silence it.
A glance showed it was Mori, so he held up one finger for Odasaku to wait (Osamu didn't want to miss any of the bomb diffusing!) and slid his thumb on his other hand across the screen to answer the call.
“Hey, Mori, I’m kinda busy right now.”
“Dazai, I have a mission for you,” Mori said, ignoring his words as if he was used to Osamu being rude as soon as he answered, which…well…that was fair.
“Sorry, I quit! I’m going to work with Odasaku now. No more exec work for me, just diffusing bombs from now on.”
“That’s nice,” Mori said, his voice as calm as usual. “I’m sending you and Chuuya the details. You’ll be working together on this.”
Osamu groaned. Ugh he had to talk to Mori and Chuuya today? That was so much worse than getting blown up with Odasaku.
After hanging up with Mori, Osamu turned around and groaned even more loudly just to show Odasaku how annoyed he was.
“I have to go,” he said, letting his shoulders slump dramatically low, showing every ounce of how much he didn’t want to do this in the imaginary weight pulling him down. “I can’t believe I have to go harass Chuuya when I could be bothering you.”
He groaned again, only to have the sound muffled as Odasaku pressed their lips together.
“Goodbye,” Odasaku said when they pulled apart. “Have a good day.”
Osamu nodded, a smile growing on his face as he looked at Odasaku. Careful not to ruin the moment, he kept his voice low as he said, “wait for me to diffuse the bomb.”
Odasaku, who clearly didn’t care about ruining the moment at all, reminded him in his completely normal voice, “Then it would explode—” without Osamu there, “—and kill people,” who weren’t Osamu. What was the point of any of that happening if Osamu wasn’t even there to enjoy it?
“Fine,” he said with the most put upon sigh he could muster. “Don’t get blown up without me.”
“Alright.”
Osamu leaned in and gave Odasaku one last kiss goodbye before turning and leaving. He raised his hand in farewell as he walked away, his long black coat billowing around him.
“See ya, Odasaku.”
“Later, Dazai.”
A Jealous Kiss
Sakunosuke didn’t hear from Dazai again until after his mission, days later. He was at the bar with Ango, when Dazai ran in and went straight to the bar, slamming his hand down on the bar top.
“One shot of bleach,” he ordered, which was so normal for him that Sakunosuke didn’t even look up from his glass.
“All out,” the bartender said, playing his role in Dazai’s usual game.
“No,” Dazai whined, flopping his arms and head onto the bar. “I really need it this time.”
“Please stop and order a real drink, Dazai,” Ango said from Sakunosuke’s other side. “No one is going to help you commit suicide.”
Dazai groaned. “But it’s not for that,” he said, which was so out of the norm that the bar went quiet.
Sakunosuke looked over at Dazai’s sprawled form. “What do you need bleach for?”
“To clean my mouth,” he said, sounding miserable. “It’s so gross.”
“Do you not own a toothbrush?” Ango said from behind Sakunosuke, who was still staring at Dazai. He’d never actually seen Dazai’s toothbrush, now that he thought about it, but he’d also never used the bathroom in Dazai’s bedroom. He must own one and the reason Sakunosuke hadn’t seen it was because they often went to his house if they were staying in. He just hadn’t had a chance to see it, but the toothbrush existed, he was sure.
“Stop looking at me like that, Odasaku,” Dazai said as he finally straightened up and took a seat. “Of course I brush my teeth.”
“Of course,” Sakunosuke said, ignoring the tension that he felt leaving his shoulders.
Dazai leaned around him to glare at Ango. “I need extreme measures: bleach, fire, something .” He stuck his tongue out, looking utterly disgusted at the thought of something, before he continued, “Chuuya kissed me.”
One sentence and all thoughts of how often Dazai brushed his teeth and how clean his mouth had been each time they’d kissed vanished from Sakunosuke’s mind.
“Oh?” he asked. He heard Ango shift in his seat behind him, but he didn’t take his eyes off of Dazai. “And what did you do?”
“Shoved him off and started spitting, obviously,” Dazai said, rolling his eyes. He started gesturing wildly as he told his story. “Chuuya did too until he started attacking the ability user. We were up against one guy, but Chuuya decided to go all out corruption. Not that he didn’t deserve it. Who brainwashes someone to kiss somebody else? Gross! And making someone have to kiss Chuuya ? Ugh torture! What kind of distraction is that?”
“He must not have known that touching you would nullify the brainwashing effects on Chuuya,” Sakunosuke heard Ango say, distantly. His hand tightened on his glass before he made a conscious effort to loosen his grip.
“His mouth touched my mouth,” Dazai said, anguished. “I’ll never be clean again. I’ll need to gargle bleach, or drink five bottles of alcohol, or—”
Sakunosuke didn’t wait for him to finish. He reached forward, grabbed Dazai’s face with both of his hands, and yanked him closer to bring their lips together.
The kiss was harsh at first, a slamming of lips against each other as Sakunosuke gave into his emotions, but as he felt the warmth of Dazai against him, he calmed and pulled back just enough to soften his touch and give their lips room to move. Even if his movements weren’t harsh anymore, they weren’t exactly calm or gentle. Each touch was possessive as he slid one hand down to cup Dazai’s neck as the other tangled in his hair to hold him still. He made sure his lips touched every inch of Dazai’s as he kissed him, slow and insistent, over and over, licked his way into Dazai’s mouth and made sure the only thing Dazai could taste was him.
When he pulled back, Sakunosuke sank back into his seat and tried to go back to his drink. He wasn’t used to being the one making a scene, and he doubted his friends would ignore it. Especially when he couldn’t help but add, “There. Your mouth is clean.”
Dazai laughed before standing and pulling Sakunosuke’s lapels until he was facing him. He brought their faces close together so that Sakunosuke couldn't help but breathe the same air as him, couldn't see anything but his eye, his lips, just Dazai.
“We’re going back to your place, and you’re going to kiss me again, just like that.”
“Alright,” Sakunosuke said, nodding as he allowed himself to be pulled from his chair and towards the door.
“Bye, Ango!” Dazai called out as they were half out the door, and Sakunosuke had the presence of mind to throw a wave over his shoulder. But neither him nor Dazai looked away from each other for a moment.
A Kiss to Deceive
There’s something strange about seeing Odasaku holding a video game controller. Calm, stoic Odasaku playing one of Osamu’s loud, bright video games is enough to make Osamu want to laugh.
“So, this is what you and Chuuya do in your free time during missions?” Odasaku asked, turning the controller over in his hand as if he wasn’t sure how to hold it.
“Yup!” Osamu said as he navigated through the menu to set up the game. “I always win of course. Maybe you’ll put up more of a fight. I picked a shooting game, so you can have an advantage.”
He wouldn’t. Odasaku had never played a video game before, so Osamu was sure he’d lose even faster than Chuuya, but getting Odasaku to play a game was still fun, no matter how quickly the game ended.
Except the game didn't end quickly at all.
Odasaku was good.
He took a minute to test the controls, and then he was taking out enemies as swiftly as Osamu knew he could in the real world.
“You liar! You’ve played before.”
“I haven’t,” Odasaku said again, not looking away from the screen as he took out three more enemies.
“Odasaku!” Osamu whined as his character was killed. Again.
“You wanted a challenge.”
Not this much of one though. His sense of strategy wasn't enough to take on Odasaku’s experience and expertise. Either that, or Odasaku was a lying cheater. Both seemed possible.
Time to do some cheating of his own.
When the next round ended, Osamu moved closer to Odasaku on the couch until their thighs were touching. Then he moved his controller to one hand so he could use the other to turn Odasaku’s face towards him.
“What are you doing?” he asked against Osamu’s lips as he kissed him.
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“I thought you wanted to play a game,” Odasaku said, but he didn’t pull away. His words were muffled against Osamu’s lips as he let Osamu choose what they did next.
“Not anymore,” Osamu told him as he swung his leg over Odasaku and settled himself in his lap. “Let’s do this now.”
Osamu kissed him again, running one hand through Oda’s hair while the other stayed behind his back, still grasping the controller.
They kept kissing even as the music in the game changed, even as the sounds of weapons and fighting rang out. They kissed and kissed until Osamu almost didn’t care about losing the game anymore at all. Almost.
He pulled back from the kiss as the music changed again, this time to the victory tune, but as he turned to face the screen, his smile fell.
Odasaku had been distracted the entire time, how had he won?
Osamu turned his attention back to him as he felt the game controller being tugged from his hand.
Odasaku didn’t say anything about the game. He just pulled Osamu back towards him with a gentle hand on his chin. “Let’s do this now,” he said before he kissed him.
When Odasaku stood up to carry Osamu into the bedroom, neither of them were thinking of the game anymore.
A Kiss in the Rain
Sometimes, Dazai did things just to annoy people. He’d have a crazy idea and be excited to try something, but really he just knew that whoever he was with did not want to try it.
Sakunosuke would always go along with his ideas because he could never tell when Dazai was actually excited or just trying to be a bother.
“Why do you want to do this?” he asked Dazai, who was leading him outside.
“It’s in all the movies and books about romance. Haven’t you ever read a book like that?”
“No.”
“Come on, Odasaku. It’s going to be romantic.”
But as Dazai pulled them out the door, Sakunosuke couldn’t imagine what was so romantic about kissing in the rain.
The water was cold and harsh as it fell in sheets around them, soaking them in seconds. It ran down the back of Sakunosuke’s shirt, making it cling to his skin. Mud splashed onto his shoes, making even his socks wet, as they walked through puddle after puddle. And as they came to a stop, Sakunosuke had to blink water from his eyes and lick water from his lips as it dripped off every dip and curve in his face.
This was supposed to be more romantic than kissing indoors?
“Ready?” Dazai asked.
“Sure.”
Kissing in the rain made it even harder to breathe than it already was. Their faces slipped against each other, making their noses bump. Grabbing Dazai’s hip just gave Sakunosuke a handful of wet shirt.
“Odasaku,” Dazai whispered against his lips before pulling back. His voice got louder, turning into a whine as he continued, “This is miserable. Why did you let us do this?”
Sakunosuke stared at him. This was not his idea. He’d question the appeal of it several times.
“It’s in all the romantic movies and books,” he repeated Dazai’s words back to him.
Dazai groaned. “I’m cold and wet,” he whined again.
Maybe Dazai had only pulled them out here to see if Sakunosuke would refuse. Maybe he’d just wanted to make Sakunosuke wet and annoyed. It seemed like it with the quick way he’d changed his mind. But he’d seemed so excited a few minutes ago…
Sakunosuke watched a drop of water make its way down Dazai’s neck, only stopping once it reached the bandages.
“Come on,” Dazai said, dejected, “let’s go back inside.”
But as he pulled his hand, Sakunosuke stayed rooted in place and pulled Dazai back to him.
“What—?”
Sakunosuke leaned in and, following the path the water drop took, licked his way up Dazai’s neck. As Dazai gasped, Sakunosuke kissed his way along his jaw before kissing his lips again.
This time, he didn’t bother with the wet shirt, he yanked it up and slid his hand under to grab ahold of Dazai’s warm waist. His other hand came up to tangle in Dazai’s hair, almost getting caught on those damn bandages that Dazai was still wearing even though they were soaked through now.
A Kiss Not on the Lips
Odasaku unwrapped Osamu from his bandages like he was unwrapping a present. He acted like every bare inch of skin was a gift just for him and he was savoring it as he kissed his way down Osamu’s bare arm and up his neck as the bandages fell away.
He was right in a way. Few people got to see Osamu without that barrier, and Odasaku was one of the few. And for all that Dazai felt exposed and vulnerable in a way that he hated, he’d never tell Odasaku to stop, not when he had never felt this loved either.
The bandages on his face got the same treatment as the rest. Osamu looked up at Odasaku as he trailed kisses over his hair and temple as he unwrapped the bandages that they’d gotten wet in the rain.
“Why were you looking for romantic ideas in movies and books?” The question was asked against his skin, Odasaku’s deep voice making him shiver in a way that wasn't from the cold water dripping off of his hair. “We’re fine just as we are.”
It was because Osamu had never been a boyfriend before and he wanted to be good for Odasaku. It was because he was worried that for all of his skill and intelligence that he wasn’t good enough at something like this. But of course he wouldn’t admit that. And of course, Odasaku knew just the right thing to say even when he didn’t know the problem.
“Maybe you’re the one reading romance novels if you’re saying things like that,” Osamu teased him, but he wouldn’t be surprised to find that some of the many books on Odasaku’s shelf were romance.
Odasaku finished taking the bandages off of Osamu’s face only to kiss his eyelid before sitting back. “I thought you said the height of romance was dying together.”
“Well, we can’t do that.” The words left Osamu before he even thought about it.
“Why not?”
Why not? Because the world could go on without Osamu, but a world without Odasaku would be unbearable.
He couldn’t admit that either, and he didn’t want to keep looking Odasaku in the eye as they talked about this.
Osamu lay back on the bed and brought his still bandaged leg to rest in Odasaku’s lap as he said, “Because I haven’t found the perfect suicide method yet.”
The last of his bandages being peeled away shouldn’t have made him feel more naked than laying in front of Odasaku in his underwear, yet it did.
“Hmmm right,” Odasaku said as he kissed his way up Osamu’s leg.
“It has to be painless, cheerful—" That earned him a bite to the inside of his knee and Osamu laughed.
“Why do you wear these?” Odasaku asked as he dropped the soaking wet bandages to the floor. He came back to lay over Osamu, kissing his way up Osamu’s hips and chest, getting all the places he’d missed when unwrapping him.
“The briefest touch from me takes away anyone’s ability,” Osamu said to the ceiling. His fingers tangled in Odasaku’s hair as Odasaku touched every part of him, uncaring about how vulnerable it made him. “With the bandages, I can add a layer between me and the world. I won’t be disadvantaging an ally unless I choose to.”
Odasaku kissed his way down Osamu’s naked, unbandaged neck. He wound his arms around Osamu as he flattened his body against him. Laying on the bed, rain damp and wearing nothing but their underwear, there was no barrier stopping their skin from touching.
“I like you better this way,” Odasaku said.
Osamu tightened his hold on Odasaku’s hair. A gasp escaped him as he gained a hickey that he knew his bandages would hide tomorrow.
“Even if it means you can’t see the future?” he asked.
“I like the present,” Odasaku mumbled against his jaw.
Me too, Osamu thought. It was so rare he found moments like this, that he wanted to make last, that he wanted to live in forever, that made him okay with living at all.
Instead, he said, “Keep undressing me and you’ll like it even more,” which earned him a warm chuckle against his ear and Odasaku pulling off their last layer of clothes.
A Joyful Kiss
Sakunosuke didn’t know why Dazai was always so excited about his job when Dazai’s involved doing much more important things. But there was no denying how excited Dazai sounded when he called out to him.
“Odasaku!”
Sakunosuke turned to find that Dazai had joined him on his walk to work.
“What are we working on today?” Dazai asked.
“Don’t you have work to do?” Sakunosuke asked. Surely Dazai had important work of his own to focus on.
“Nope!” Dazai said. “I made sure that I won’t be interrupted today. I’m all yours. So where are we going?”
Sakunosuke watched Dazai for a moment. If Dazai had already decided, then it was unlikely that Sakunosuke would be able to change his mind. Besides, it wasn’t as if he minded having Dazai around.
“We’re going to defuse a bomb,” Sakunosuke said, but before he could even gesture to the building nearby that they would be working in, he had his arms full of Dazai and Dazai’s lips pressed against his. On instinct, Sakunosuke kissed back. The kiss was quick, and all too soon Dazai was pulling back to look Sakunosuke in the eyes.
“What was that for?” Sakunosuke couldn’t help but ask.
Dazai beamed. “We get to defuse a bomb!” he said, clearly excited at the idea. “Let’s go.” With that, Dazai continued forward, towards the building, all the while saying something about how he hoped they’d explode.
Inside, they found the bomb easily enough. It was in a warehouse full of supplies the Port Mafia would be storing or selling, Sakunosuke wasn’t sure. Knowing was above his pay grade and he knew enough not to be curious. If the bomb went off, the mafia would lose a decent amount of inventory, so he’d been sent to stop it.
Kneeling in front of the bomb, he told Dazai to step back as he got to work.
His work was simple enough. He’d move to try different wires or buttons, and his ability would let him know if it was the right or wrong choice. It was easy work, if dangerous, but it would be infinitely more dangerous for someone else.
But something about it must have looked exciting to Dazai because he watched intently, leaning over Sakunosuke’s shoulder.
Sakunosuke did his best not to pay it too much attention. Another wire cut there, a screw turned here. Until suddenly, he couldn’t tell what the next move was. His pliers were poised over the next wire he wanted to cut, but he couldn’t see anything, no vision of if that move would lead him to explosion or not.
“Dazai,” Sakunosuke said with a sigh, “Stop it.” He didn’t turn to look at Dazai as he spoke. He could feel him leaning against his shoulder. He didn’t even remember that would be a problem until his ability stopped working.
“What?” Dazai asked far too innocently.
Sakunosuke did look at him then. Just enough to raise his eyebrow and stare at him until he leaned back.
“Fine, fine. Sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all, as he raised his hands.
Sakunosuke got back to work.
Except his ability still wasn’t working.
Sakunosuke frowned. He tilted his head a little…huh.
“Dazai,” he said.
“Hmm?”
“You’re touching my hair.” Sakunosuke had felt a tug on the ends of his hair when he’d moved his head, and he’d known the culprit right away.
“Oops! Sorry!” was the cheerful, not sorry at all reply.
But after that Sakunosuke was able to work without any more interruptions, and he finished the job quickly without any trouble. Much to Dazai’s disappointment if his pout meant anything.
So Sakunosuke did the only thing he could do to make that look disappear. He kissed him.
When he pulled back, Dazai stared up at him and asked, “What was that for?”
A small smile tugged at Sakunosuke’s lips. “We lived,” he said. “I’m happy about it.”
A Kiss in the Car
Osamu didn’t leave Odasaku after helping him disarm the bomb. No, he followed him the rest of his work day, through collecting money, confronting people who were becoming a problem, and finally, to a stakeout.
Odasaku was supposed to be following some guy, reporting where he went, blah, blah, blah. It was the exact sort of stuff that the higher ups would give to a grunt to do because they didn’t want to be bothered. It was the exact sort of thing that Dazai preferred to pawn off too. So it wasn’t surprising at all that within an hour of the man entering his house, Dazai was bored and looking for any sort of distraction. How convenient that his favorite distraction was in the car with him.
While Odasaku kept his attention on the house, Dazai kept his on his boyfriend. What a fun opportunity he’d been handed, an excuse to play with Odasaku when Odasaku was distracted and couldn’t make a scene and draw attention to himself.
Not that Odasaku ever made a scene, but still…
Osamu trailed his hand along Odasaku’s arm. What a strong boyfriend he had, so muscular.
Odasaku spared him a glance before looking back at the house.
So Osamu let his hand fall from well developed muscle to sinful thighs. Odasaku has great legs, he thought as he let his hand keep moving, trailing towards Odasaku’s inner thighs.
“What are you doing?”
“Shhh. Just keep watching.”
Hmm was this really all Osamu wanted to be doing? He squeezed Odasaku’s leg, considering a much better idea.
The car wasn’t especially big and roomy, but it wasn’t too small to move either. So it was easy enough for Osamu to move across the middle console and throw his leg over Odasaku’s lap until he was straddling him.
“Dazai…” he said warningly.
Osamu shushed him again, a wicked smile on his face as he blocked Odasaku’s view. “I’m just getting comfortable,” he said, and before Odasaku could complain, Osamu moved so he could see the house again. Of course, he only moved until his lips were pressed against Odasaku’s neck.
He kissed him, slowly, down to Odasaku’s shoulder and back up to his ear. As he took Odasaku’s earlobe between his teeth and nibbled, Osamu felt Odasaku’s hands come up to his waist. To his surprise, he didn’t push him away.
“Dazai.” Odasaku practically breathed out his name. It didn’t sound like the admonishment that Osamu was sure it was meant to be. No, it sounded like Odasaku liked this change of plans just as much as Osamu did.
“Hmm?” Osamu kissed his way across a stubbled cheek and to Odasaku’s lips. He pulled himself closer until he was seated snuggly in Odasaku’s lap, their chests pressed against each other, barely any space between them.
At least until Odasaku pulled away. His arms had come to curl around Osamu’s waist, hugging him closer, but after a moment, he seemed to remember himself. One of his hands found its way to Osamu’s chin and pulled him back.
“We’re supposed to be on a stakeout.”
“But that’s boring,” Osamu said before fighting Odasaku’s hold enough to kiss his jaw. This was far more fun. He was sure Odasaku agreed.
“Dazai…” Damn, Odasaku was trying to pull him away in earnest now. That wouldn’t do.
“Relax,” Osamu said as he met Odasaku’s eyes. “He left ten minutes ago. You’re just watching an empty house.”
“…what?”
Why weren’t they kissing again already? Did he really have to explain everything?
“I sent Hirotsu after him,” Osamu said. That had to be enough of an explanation, right? Odasaku was dating an executive. That meant, if Osamu wanted to use his time more wisely, he could assign any number of people to cover Odasaku’s assignments for him.
“Dazai—”
“Odasaku, shut up and kiss me.”
And he did.
A Kiss in the Snow
In movies, they always made kissing in bad weather seem so romantic. That was the logic behind Dazai’s urge to kiss in the rain. But that hadn’t worked out. It’d left them both cold and soaked and desperate to get back inside.
The kisses they’d shared as they warmed up and changed had been much better in Sakunosuke’s opinion.
But still, it was food for thought. Why did movies and books have characters kissing in the rain or snow so often? More importantly, why had Dazai wanted to try it so badly?
Sakunosuke wasn’t curious enough to try kissing in the rain again, but they could try something else.
“Brrr,” Dazai said as Sakunosuke led him by the hand into his yard, where an inch or two of snow was already sticking to the ground even as more fell from the sky.
“I want to try something,” Sakunosuke said as he came to a stop and turned to face Dazai.
At his words, Dazai expression, which had been twisted into a dramatic pout at being pulled away from rereading The Complete Guide to Suicide to go out in the cold, turned curious.
“Oh?” he asked. “What are we doing?” No hesitation, no doubt that he’d try whatever Sakunosuke wanted, nothing but excitement to hear Sakunosuke’s idea. If he wasn’t already planning on kissing him, he’d have done it now anyway.
Sakunosuke brought his gloved hands up to Dazai’s neck and ran his fingertips up until he could cradle Dazai’s face in his palms. The excited light stayed in Dazai’s eye even as his face turned soft. No doubt he’d already guessed why Sakunosuke had brought him here.
Slowly, carefully, Sakunosuke leaned down and pressed his cold lips to Dazai’s. Their noses brushed together as they kissed. Their breaths combined and warmed the air between them. It was soft, it was slow, it was…
“Much better,” Sakunosuke mumbled against Dazai’s lips, “than the rain.”
Dazai’s snort of laughter broke their kiss. “Not going to let me live that down, Odasaku?” he asked, still smiling as he wrapped his arms around Sakunosuke’s shoulders.
Sakunosuke shook his head, a small smile on his own face as he kissed Dazai again. He didn’t think Dazai would mind his teasing much if it meant Sakunosuke kissed him now and then just to test how their kisses fared in the weather.
A Passionate Kiss
Warm hands slid the fabric from Osamu’s shoulders before he was pushed back down onto the bed. A mouth was wet against his side and oh so distracting as his pants were pulled off his legs impatiently. And Odasaku was everywhere. His skin was hot where it touched Osamu, and where wasn't he touching?
Their chests were pressed together. Their legs tangled as Odasaku moved, kissing Osamu’s face, his neck, his chest, everywhere he could reach. It was almost enough to distract Osamu from what he was saying.
“I’m telling you,” he said around a moan as Odasaku bit him. “This would be more fun in Mori’s office.”
Odasaku didn’t spare him a glance, too focused on making sure he kissed every inch of Osamu’s collarbone. But he did say, “Not all of us have a death wish.”
Well, true. And also annoying. But Osamu wouldn’t be deterred. There were plenty of places he could try to tempt Odasaku into sneaking into.
“What about Ango’s office?” The words came out low and rough as Odasaku chose that moment to reach between their bodies, where Osamu was already thrusting against a delicious set of abs, to take Osamu in hand.
“No,” Odasaku said as he moved his hand and pulled a moan out of Osamu.
“Chuuya’s motorcycle?” He could feel Odasaku against his hip, and suddenly wanted so badly to be fucked on a motorcycle. Or to fuck Odasaku on one. He wasn’t picky.
Odasaku finally looked him in the eye, their faces centimeters apart, harsh breaths against each other’s lips.
“Am I boring you?” he asked, voice that deep growl that drove Osamu crazy, gaze so intense that Osamu couldn’t look away.
As if that would be enough to make Dazai Osamu stop being annoying.
“Odasakuuuu,” he whined. “I just think—”
“Stop thinking.” Odasaku said the words shortly, forcefully, and right before pressing a heated kiss to Osamu’s lips.
That was enough to shut him up.
A Gentle Kiss
A noise coaxed Sakunosuke awake. It wasn’t a loud noise—whoever it was was trying to be quiet—but it was loud enough to reach him in his sleep. Too many years of sleeping with an ear listening for disturbances of an intruder, an assassin, a threat, meant that few sounds didn’t wake him.
He opened his eyes to find his dark bedroom. The lights were still off, but the moonlight shone through the window bright enough for him to see around him. The bed was empty, the closet was open, none of that was how it should have been in the middle of the night.
There was a pair of legs sticking out of his closet. Sakunosuke would know Dazai’s legs and briefs clad ass anywhere, and he watched as his boyfriend straightened from where he was leaning over. Sakunosuke’s too big button up shirt was hanging off his shoulders, open and exposing his bare chest, not even bandages hiding him from view tonight.
“Don’t you ever sleep?” Sakunosuke asked, voice groggy and quiet but loud enough to get Dazai’s attention.
He turned and watched Sakunosuke for a moment, his expression soft and full of some emotion Sakunosuke was too tired to decipher.
“Sometimes,” Dazai answered, “for a few hours.” He walked over to the bed until he was standing over Sakunosuke, who rolled onto his back to see him better. “Go back to sleep,” he said as he ran his fingers through Sakunosuke's hair. It was gentle, calming, and lulled Sakunosuke’s tired eyes closed again.
He hummed, content, and felt a gentle kiss touch his lips in the darkness.
He fell back asleep to the sounds of Dazai moving things around on his bookshelf.
A Kiss Where it Hurts
Osamu wasn’t much of a kid person. Not that he disliked them, he just didn’t particularly like them. Then again, some would say he wasn’t much of a people person at all, kid or adult.
But Odasaku liked kids, so Dazai would spend time with them. That’s why he ended up visiting Odasaku’s orphans on occasion when Odasaku was visiting and Osamu didn’t want to be alone.
They’d play with the kids and then have much too spicy curry. Usually Osamu would wait in the restaurant, but he wasn’t opposed to joining in the games with the kids every now and then.
That was how he’d ended up in the very strange position of being bullied into something by a small child. He have been more bothered if the kid wasn’t trying to get him to do something he was happy to do anyway.
But hearing “You have to!” made part of him rile up with a defiant “No, I don’t” mixed with “Are you going to make me?” And then he had an internal struggle of the merits of rebelling against a child versus getting to kiss his boyfriend. Because that was what the kid wanted, Osamu kissing Odasaku better.
Osamu looked down at the scrape on Odasaku’s arm. It wasn’t even a scrape, not really. It was a slightly red mark from where Odasaku had bumped his arm when he let a kid tackle him. Osamu doubted Odasaku would have reacted to it at all if the kids hadn’t started saying he had a boo-boo.
And apparently boo-boos were meant to be kissed better by adults. And Osamu was the only other adult around. Not that he’d let anyone else kiss Odasaku anyway.
He knelt down next to where Odasaku was still sitting on the ground, looking at him as if waiting to see what he’d do.
Osamu took his arm gently in hand and looked at the ‘wound.’
“Ouch,” Odasaku said, and Osamu looked up to find mirth in his eyes even if the rest of his face was wearing a ridiculous frown.
“Aww it hurts?” Osamu asked. “Then I guess I really should kiss it better.” Keeping eye contact with Odasaku, he slowly brought Odasaku’s arm to his lips and placed a quick, gentle kiss on the red mark, just as smoothly as a prince kissing a lady’s hand.
The next thing he knew, the kids were pulling them away from each other.
Cries of, “You’re better now!” and “Let’s play again!” rang out as Odasaku was brought back into the game. And Osamu was left alone again, standing off to the side and watching the fun.
He didn’t mind kids, but he did wish they weren’t quite so good at ruining the moment.
An Angry Kiss
Seeing Dazai first thing after waking up made the fact that Sakunosuke was waking up in a hospital better. But he was groggy and aching, and Dazai calmly laying out plans and discussing others’ motivations to distract them from what had happened wasn’t helping.
He felt like he’d actually been caught in one of those bomb explosions Dazai kept hoping he could experience. So he was more focused on watching Dazai than listening to him.
He stayed quiet as he watched Dazai talk. Despite his calm exterior, Sakunosuke could tell he was angry. Sakunosuke was too. Ango was their friend, they’d trusted him, and he’d betrayed them. He’d poisoned Sakunosuke. They had every reason to be angry with him.
But Sakunosuke was also tired. And so sore. It was just enough to stop him from getting lost in his emotions and becoming irrational.
“If Ango wanted to kill me, I’d be dead,” he said, interrupting Dazai.
The silence that followed felt heavier than it should. Tense. But it disappeared just as quickly when Dazai said, “I know.”
He leaned over the bed and kissed Sakunosuke hard and harsh before he could even blink.
“I know,” he repeated when he pulled back. “Just let me be angry.”
Then he was back in his seat. This time discussing Mimic’s plans. No mention of what he planned to do to Ango.
A Desperate Kiss
“Odasaku!” Osamu called out as he reached for him. He reached, stretching his arm as far as it would go, desperate to grab him in a way he never allowed himself to long for anything.
He had to stop him.
If Odasaku left, then he’d be killed. The children would still be dead. Nothing would be changed except that Osamu would be alone, his Odasaku gone.
Odasaku was beyond words, beyond reason, so far out of reach. But Osamu still had to try.
He pushed himself forward until he could reach him. He wrapped himself tight around Odasaku. He kissed him, pouring everything he had into the kiss, wordlessly pleading for Odasaku to stay with him.
But it didn’t matter. He couldn’t kiss this better.
There’s only one thing left that I want.
Odasaku only wanted one thing, and that wasn’t his dreams. Wasn’t a house on the ocean where he could write. It wasn’t Osamu. He just wanted revenge.
Osamu’s hand fell to his side as he watched Odasaku walk away.
Anything that I never want to lose is always lost.
That’s how it always was for him.
Anything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it.
And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life, this suffering.
How foolish of Osamu to think for a moment that there might be a reason to live.
A Kiss Where is No Longer Hurts
It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Years of trying to be better and all it did was lead him here.
Sakunosuke thought about the children as he walked into the building.
As he walked up to Gide, he thought about his plans to only stay in the mafia until they were old enough to support themselves.
He thought of his dream of being a writer.
He thought of their smiling faces when he came to visit.
He thought and he thought and he thought until he wanted to scream. Because none of it mattered anymore.
There was only one thing that he wanted.
And once he got it, nothing would ever matter again.
Goodbye.
Osamu cried as Odasaku grew quiet and closed his eyes.
His best friend, his lover, his Odasaku was gone.
He’d known what to expect when he came running after him, but it still hurt. Osamu could already feel the creeping chill of apathy seeping into him. Oh how easy it would be to stop caring, to hide himself away in violence and darkness, or to run away and live alone and let the rest of the world destroy itself for all he cared. Or better yet, to achieve his own dream and finally end it all.
He’d never longed for death more.
He’d never been farther from achieving it.
He couldn’t kill himself, not now, not ever. Not after Odasaku had asked him for a favor. Not after Odasaku had used his last breath to point Osamu in the direction of a new life. Of a useful life, one with purpose. Hopefully.
At the least he’d be able to achieve part of Odasaku’s dream. He’d do good.
Osamu looked down at Odasaku’s resting face, which was finally free of all the pain that had been painted across it all day.
“It’s not fair,” Osamu said as he brushed the hair from Odasaku’s forehead. “You get to go and you leave me here? That’s mean, Odasaku.” He choked on the last words.
But as much as Osamu wished they were still together, either here or wherever Odasaku was now, he was at least glad that Odasaku was no longer in pain. That he got to rest.
A tear fell from his eye to land on Odasaku’s forehead, and Osamu’s lips followed it. His kiss was a soft, short press to an unfurrowed brow. And a final thought, I’ll miss you.
A Protective Kiss
He ordered two drinks. Two familiar drinks to sit on a familiar bartop. But only one was for Osamu, only one would be drunk that night.
Osamu ran his finger along the rim of Odasaku’s full glass, wishing that his friend could be there to join him for one more drink.
“You’re supposed to be in hiding.”
Osamu’s finger stilled on the glass at Ango’s voice. He hadn’t wanted Ango there even when he had Odasaku. Now, he’d rather sit beside two empty stools than have one filled.
“And you aren’t supposed to be here,” Osamu said. “You aren’t welcome.”
Ango didn’t take the hint. Maybe he thought today of all days Osamu would be lenient. Too bad for him that the date just made him cold. Made him not want to see anyone but the person he could never see again.
“Leave, Ango,” Osamu said, his tone dark. He heard the other man’s steps stop. “Before I make you.”
It was quiet as the words hung between them. If Ango knew what was good for him, he’d heed Osamu’s warning.
Finally, he heard Ango’s footsteps retreat.
“I miss him too,” he whispered before he was up the steps and out the door.
The tension didn’t leave Osamu’s shoulders until he was alone again.
Alone with his two drinks, one full, one empty.
Osamu took a small bunch of white alyssum flowers from the front pocket of his coat. He pressed it to his lips before letting it rest in Odasaku’s glass.
Only friends are invited to your birthday party, Odasaku, Osamu thought as the petals slid between his fingers.
A Kiss to Annoy
“Do your paperwork, you lousy waste of bandages!” Kunikida yelled at the end of some lecture Osamu didn’t care enough to listen to. It wasn’t important. He wasn’t going to do his work either way.
“I’m too busy reading to worry about things like paperwork,” he said as he waved his favorite book at his partner.
“You’ve read that book a million times!” Kunikida was always so fun to tease, so easy to annoy.
“There’s nothing like rereading a good book,” Osamu told him. He pulled the book closer to his face and kissed the bookmark as loudly as he could. “How could I possibly focus on paperwork when I could be fantasizing about the perfect suicide?”
As Kunikida scoffed and started another tirade, Osamu leaned back on the couch and opened his book.
There, saving his place, was a picture of three friends at a bar. Osamu’s gaze landed on the man in the middle, completely ignoring the words on the page.
There was no better fantasy than a painless end.
A Kiss on a Place of Insecurity
S. Oda
The smooth stone of the grave was cold against his hand.
He wouldn’t be disturbed this time. The others were busy working, and hardly anyone would go looking for Osamu anyway.
He was free to visit his friend alone and sit in the peaceful silence.
How different from his last visit, when Atsushi had found him.
Osamu had told him that if this grave was for a woman, that he would have died with her. Of course Atsushi believed him when Osamu made it clear how highly he thought of double suicide, how he dreamed of it, how he fantasized about meeting his end that way.
He kissed the cold stone of the grave before resting his head against it, eyes closed.
“You couldn’t even let me have that, could you, Odasaku?”
A Kiss Hello
He’d done everything he could to keep his promise.
He left the mafia, he joined the detectives. He did good .
Osamu even left a legacy to continue his fight on the side of good. The new Double Black, a duo that would watch over Yokohama once Dazai was gone.
Surely Odasaku couldn’t be disappointed with him for not making it to thirty years old when he’d done so much for him. He didn’t even commit suicide. He’d done everything he could to stay alive, to keep his promise, to help orphans and do good and make a difference.
Odasaku couldn’t be upset with him for falling during this attack, not when Osamu had done everything he could to live a long life.
His eyes closed for the last time, darkness pulling him under as his shallow breaths stopped, the pain fading away as he rest in silence for the last time.
There was nothing.
And then there was the light touch of a familiar pair of lips against his own.
Osamu smiled.
“Hello,” he said against those lips. “I missed you, Odasaku.”