Dream Come True

by Starkiwi03

Summary:

Virgil and Patton are both trans sides/alter's in Thomas's headspace. A night of tears, confession, and fun leads to drama and even more sex. Smut but it also has plot.

Notes:

I have the first few chapters and I will be uploading more as time goes by. Sorry for any typos or formatting issues this was on my phone

Chapter 1: Discovery

Virgil sits on the edge of the bed in his room. The shadows seem to creep up the walls, hunting towards him. Each of their rooms reflected their mood. When it got bad, Virgil's room got small. Not comforting, like a small box to curl up into. It squeezes towards him, looking more and more like a coffin. 

 

Through all the tears, the shaking breaths, Virgil could smell the faint scent of flowers, baked bread, and tea, as well as an unplaceable scent he could only describe as “man.” Sweat mixed with shaving cream.

 

The walls shivered, whispering to him all the words he wished he could forget. He hugged himself tight, wishing to curl into a ball if it weren't for the balls of flesh attached to his chest. 

 

You're not a real man. 

You're not a man. 

You aren't even real. 

You don't deserve them. 

You should rot.

 

“No…” he covers his ears with his hands, knowing it won't do any good. A crash sounds from far off.

 

Don't deserve. 

You should just-

 

BAM!

 

The door to Virgil's room bursts open ( how long had it been shrinking? ).

 

“Hey buddy!” A cheery voice exclaims, “You caused a bit of a ruckus in the main area- No no. No one's mad. You're safe. Here.” Patton’s smile hides worry, but not well. 

 

The heart has a hard time lying. Virgil smiles in spite of himself. Through a fog of darkness, he feels arms wrap around him. They feel heavy, resting against his shoulders. He lets himself fall backwards into those arms. 

 

“Hey, honey. No, you don't have to talk. No, I’m not mad. I promise. Do I look mad? Right, no contacts in,” Parton pauses to breathe, “Okay, I’m going to have to ask you to do something weird. Is that ok?”

 

Nodnod.

 

“Reach up to my face. It's up to your right- other right. See? Ok. If I was mad my eyebrows would go down more. My mouth would be open- no don't put your fingers in my mouth!”

 

Virgil giggles again. My breathing is calming. Huh…

 

“Anywho, you'd hear it in my voice, yes? There's none of that. You can keep feeling my face, but you don't have to-” that is not necessary.”

 

Virgil laughs and retracts his fingers from Patton's neck. How he missed his laugh. He feels his face reddening. Hopefully the darkness hides it. He hides his face in Patton’s chest, feeling the rough fabric of the binder underneath his button up. 

 

Trans guys and their button ups. …Or hoodies. 

 

“What's so funny?”

 

“Nothing. I love you.”

 

Virgil’s mouth snaps shut. He sees the shadows approaching again from both sides of his vision. 

 

“I love you too bud. Now tell me, can you try to breathe slower?”

 

Virgil takes a shaky breath, shoving at his eyes with the back of his hand.

 

“You'll ruin your vision doing that. Here.” A handkerchief, light blue and smelling of lavender, magically appears in a cloud of…

 

“Sparkles? Really?”

 

“I mean, I am gayyy.” Fancy hand motions even the glasses-less Virgil could see caused a fit of giggles. He cuddles close.

 

Looking around the room, it is slowly brightening. The black walls are replaced by royal purple. The shadows retreat, showing band posters, sketches, and pictures of all of them together. In each one, Virgil is looking over at Patton with wonderment in his eyes. 

 

Virgil squeaks and further buries his face into Patton's chest.

 

It's flatter than mine.

 

“Not possible. We share the same base body.”

 

“Shit, that was out loud, wasn't it?”

 

“No, I can read your thoughts.”

 

Panic. I’m so gay. Ohno. Gay. He's hot. Please no.

 

“Relax, I’m joking. Though you are easy to read.” Patton winks and brushes a stray piece of hair out of Virgil's face. He feels himself reddening even more. 

 

Shit.  

 

“How do you feel now, buckaroo?”

 

“Buckaroo?! Bahaha!” A laugh, much louder than any noise he thought he was capable of making escapes his lips. 

 

“I know you'd prefer baby.” This time it's Patton's turn to stiffen. He tries to clap a hand to his mouth. Trapped by Virgil's weight , it wiggles around like a dying fish. Eventually the hand escapes, slapping into Virgil's left breast as it rises.

 

“OW! I was trying to forget those didn't exist!”

 

“Honey-” 

 

“It's what started this whole thing in the first place.” Virgil gestures around the room, now back in its normal gloom (rather than danger gloom).

 

“Baby, I’m sorry.”

 

Virgil's mouth clamps shut. “W..what?”

 

“Sorry. I figured that was the fastest way to keep you out of another spiral. Plus, everyone knows-”

 

“Knows what?”

 

“You know…”

 

“I do?”

 

“Oh come on! You have a crush on me!”

 

“I…”

 

“Sorry. Just, it was so obvious. Last time we had a sleepover you started moaning my name in your sleep. Only stopped when Remus kicked you.” A soft chuckle. 

 

There had never been a kinder laugh. A more comfortable place to lay. The worst part is he wasn't even sure which dream it was that made him say the quiet part out loud (apparently with everyone listening).

 

“I only said something because… I knew you'd never work up to it on your own. Plus, you didn't get my many. Many hints.”

 

“Huh?” All of this was too much. Every emotion at once, slamming around in his brain. Including… well that one wasn't really an emotion.

 

“You heard what I said.” Patton states flatly. He kisses Virgil's forehead, sweaty and red. That familiar scent flows over Virgil as he does so. That mix of flowers, bread, and tea, lovingly mixed in with such a masculine scent.

 

“You smell like caramel,” Patton mutters, almost absent mindedly. 

 

“I taste like it too.” It was Virgil's turn to clap his hand over his mouth. The handkerchief, wrinkled from fidgeting, shoves a strong whiff of lavender right into his nose. He coughs, hoping to cover the words that have once again escaped. 

 

“Hm?” Patton leans down to the left part of Virgil's neck, right next to his collarbone. He licks once at the scent gland, which throbs unwillingly. 

 

“Ah!” A moan, quickly cut off, attempts to escape Virgil's lips.

 

“Indeed you do. Although a bit more like cinnamon.”

 

Virgil attempts to hide using Patton's shirt. It does not help, as the scent flows off it in waves.

 

I wonder…

 

A familiar heartbeat. Virgil tries his best to ignore how the heartbeat downstairs matches the one in his cheeks and thudding in his chest. He tries to ignore how it matches the beat that he lays his head against.

 

“Gosh, you- yes. Virgil, I-” Patton let's out a strangled cry as Virgil lunges around, sinking his teeth gently into his neck. They fall together into the nest of pillows covering Virgil's bed. 

 

Good thing I’m not in heat. Pause. What would he even get me pregnant with?

 

Patton grabs the back of Virgil's head, pressing him against his neck.

 

Those delicious moans. 

 

Virgil feels Patton rocking beneath him. Feels his breath quicken. His hands wander, searching for purchase. He begins to lift Virgil’s hoodie. 

 

“No… I can't.”

 

The hands reach down, grabbing onto his ass. They rock him back and forth, guiding his hips to a place where they both explode in moans. Virgil feels a small bulge under Patton’s khakis. 

 

“Mmf. We really need to get you more stylish clothes.”

 

“Oh shut up and kiss me already.”

 

“Aye aye sir.” He feels the hands slip off his pants as their tongues intertwine. 

 

Virgil sits there, panting. “What is the deal with the khakis?”

 

Patton looks up at him in disbelief, “I mean, it's just a different color of those emo pants you wear all the time. Same number of pockets!”

 

Virgil rocks forward, pretending to be thoughtful, “But mine are hot.”

 

“Yes they are,” Patton whispers, gasping as Virgil continues to rock, “I like cargo pants for the same reason I like other trans dudes.”

 

Any questioning is disturbed as Patton grabs Virgil's hair, tugging him towards his other scent gland. 

 

“They both have extra pockets.”

 

“BUAHAHAHA.”

 

“Oh shut up…” Patton wriggles out of his shirt with help from Virgil. He sits up, tugging at his binder. 

 

“Look, I know dysphoria, but you can't exercise in a binder.”

 

“Wouldn't be the first time,” The statement earns Virgil a stern glare, “Fine, but close your eyes.”

 

Virgil tugs off his hoodie, watching Patton sitting there with his stupid hands over his stupid eyes. 

 

God, he's hot. 

 

Virgil shivers. He reaches out to grab the hoodie. His oldest comfort item. Instead, he grabs onto Patton’s hands.

 

“Wha-?” Virgil, holding both wrists in one hand, shoves them above Patton and into the pillow. 

 

He wiggles out of his boxers, wincing as the fabric grazes his very stiff T dick. He pulls down Patton’s boxers (blue, of course).

 

Virgil wasn't sure what he was expecting. Of course, they have the same body, besides of course Patton being an Alpha and him being an Omega. It was still disconcerting looking down to see an exact replica of his own member. Patton’s body was softer. His hair was neatly trimmed. Virgil's own bush was ignored. It would require looking down there, which he wasn't likely to do. 

 

“Pleaa-Pleaase.” Virgil sees Patton’s little cock twitch.

 

He's desperate. 

 

Slowly and carefully, Virgil raises himself above the small dick. He sits down, feeling just how wet they both are. 

 

Patton’s mouth explodes in wordless whimpers. He wriggles against Virgil's hand, but not enough to break the grip.

 

Virgil rocks back and forth, feeling Patton sliding in the same pattern inside him. A particularly strong twitch leads to him flopped down onto Patton’s chest. The scent gland, already glistening with spit and a shiny red bite mark, looks so inviting. 

 

He bites down. Virgil rocks faster, moving up and down as far as the cock allows. He feels how easily it slips in and out. Hitting every spot. Leaving both of them shaking. 

 

“Here.” Virgil sits up, getting a pained look from Patton. He hears him whine as he leans to his left, where he dropped his all important hoodie. Quickly, he pulls on one end of the hoodie string. Once it's out, he wraps it around Patton’s hands. 

 

“One for me, one for you, one for us together. Three wraps around.” He leans in, “Is this ok?”

 

Patton nods wordlessly, bucking upwards. “Mm. Oh boy. Yes.”

 

Virgil starts again, his hands free to grab the blanket beneath him. He feels Patton twitching inside him. His own cock rubs against Patton’s belly, soft and warm. A safe place to cum on.

 

Virgil’s breath hitches. Patton curls upwards, reaching his hands over Virgil's head and around his neck. Pulled towards him, it's the most Virgil can do to land on the scent gland. He bites down. Virgil moves faster, grunting. He sees Patton’s eyes roll back. The smell of cinnamon and bread, caramel and tea, starts to fill the air. 

 

Virgil feels the base of the cock inflate. He's never before felt another’s knot inside of him. It pushes against his G spot. An explosion of pleasure, of white hot fire. He bites down on Patton’s neck, vaguely aware that the boy is doing the same to him. Patton arches upwards into him. Virgil’s eyes roll back in ecstasy.

 

“I’m. *huff* Cumming.”

 

“Me. *gasp* Too.”

 

The gasping pleasure subsides. Virgil lays on Patton’s chest, twitching. He feels the knot inside of him 

 

“It's a bit small to hold us in place.”

 

“It's more of a suggestion!” Patton, having somehow untied his restraints (if he was even contained in the first place) wraps his arms around Virgil in a bear hug. Patton rolls him to the side, dick still inside him. Virgil lets out a small oof! His own cock had retracted somewhat back into position.

 

“How long are we stuck like this?”

 

“Uh… mine usually last about an hour.”

 

Gulp. Speaking of, next time I'd love to taste-

 

“Hey Patton, if my panic attacks can make things fall in the main area, I wonder what this did.”

 

I wonder if my door is locked. 

 

“Mm we’ll find out eventually,” Patton says sleepily, “For now, you're all mine!” He squeezes him close. 

 

He feels like home. You know, I could get used to this. 

Chapter 2: Connections

Summary:

It's Virgil's turn to comfort Patton. They sleep together again, but Virgil's door gets opened.

Notes:

This ends on a cliffhanger but stick with it. Again, let me know if there's any typos.

Virgil wakes up to mumbling.

 

No clear words. It sounds distressed. Is it another half asleep hallucination?

 

Virgil rubs the sleep out of his eyes. 

 

“No.” A single word, clear and desperate. 

 

Patton twitches beside him. “Mm. Don't wanna.”

 

Virgil rolls over, resting his head on Patton’s chest. With a start, he realizes they are both still naked. 

 

“You're okay. You're safe.” Virgil’s hand fumbles wildly, searching for his hoodie. Instead, his fist catches the fabric of Patton’s shirt. Virgil's breath hitches. He ignores it for the sake of his… friend? Boyfriend? One night stand?

 

Virgil winces. 

 

“Mmf. No. Please. NO! ” Patton leaps upwards, arms flailing. His eyes are wide. He squints, looking around. 

 

Virgil shifts cautiously towards him. He's used to being the one needing comfort. 

 

How does one do this?

 

He reaches over Patton’s shoulders to hug him. Virgil feels him stiffen, then relax limply into him. 

 

“Hey. You're ok.” He runs his hands through the other’s hair, ignoring his sobs. 

 

We’re both sides of the same coin. He's our heart. I’m our fear. 

 

“Wanna talk about it?” His voice is gentle, husky with sleep.

 

I sound small. 

 

“I… what?” Patton startles, sitting up, “Where are my glasses?” 

 

“Here.” They appear in Patton’s palm as Virgil waves his hand. 

 

“Th…thank you. I’m sorry.”

 

“Why?”

 

He looks so scared. So fragile. Who is he afraid of?

 

“I shouldn't be affected by what happened. I mean, anxiety is your job,” he laughs, not meaning it.

 

“The bullying. It caused us to split. We all hold a little bit of that hurt. Especially us, since we’re the ones that…”

 

“That remember it.” Patton sniffles. He looks up at Virgil. 

 

Those big eyes. So blue. 

 

Even now, red and shimmering with tears, they are the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.

 

Patton flops his weight down onto Virgil, landing squarely on his lap.

 

“Ow. Dude. Hips.”

 

“Oh. Sorry.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don't know. Sorry. Sorry.” He sees Patton’s breath begins to quicken again, his mouth tightening as he fights to not cry. 

 

“Hey. Hey. No one's mad.” 

 

Wait. I know how to fix this.

 

“What are five things you can see?”

 

Patton sniffles, confused. “Nothing. Without my glasses at least.”

 

“Cmon,” Virgil nudges hun gently, “Play along.”

 

“Okay,” Patton breathes in, thought it's no more than a gasp, “I see… your drawings on the wall. I see your blankets. I see your pillows. Your eyes. Your… uh.” 

 

Virgil covers his chest, noticing his gaze. Ow. I forgot those existed. “Oh…kay. Good job. What are four things you can hear?”

 

“I…” Patton pauses, thinking, “I hear the others talking. Only a little bit though. I hear your voice, obviously,” he hurries through the last one, then looks around, 

 

“Good.”

 

“I hear my heartbeat. In my… ears? My cheeks? Everywhere?” He pauses once more. 

 

“Go on. One more. You’ve got this, Pat.”

 

“I-uh-oh. If I sit like this,” he shifts his head against Virgil’s chest. Virgil tries to ignore the sensation of his breast being pressed sideways, “If I sit like this, I can hear your heartbeat too. It's fast.” Patton glances up at him quizzically. 

 

Shit. 

 

“Good. And what can you feel? 3 things please.”

 

“The blankets underneath me. The cold on my body. And um…”

 

Virgil feels the boy’s cheeks redden, still pressed against his heart. 

 

“What?”

 

“I just woke up, so… morning wood.”

 

Virgil lets out a chuckle. A real one, out of surprise and the pleasant feeling of warmth spreading to his cheeks. And other places. 

 

“Oh. Well. Uh. What can you smell?”

 

“You. And me. And our scents together. And cum. And that's way more than the two that are part of this exercise huh?” He babbles, wringing his hands. Cute and worried and sweet all wrapped up into a soft, sexy package. 

 

Speaking of packages, his own groin whispers. His eyes drift to the bite marks adorning Patton’s collar. 

 

“I don't taste anything right now. But.. I can think of something I'd love to taste.” Virgil gasps at Patton’s bluntness. His eyes are shimmering again, this time in a sort of wicked glee. 

 

“Oh. Uh…”

 

Patton sits up, leaning so his lips are nearly touching Virgil’s ear. 

 

“You. I want to taste you.”

 

Fuck. I bet he can feel my goosebumps. 

 

“Would you like that?” Virgil nods fast, his mouth failing to form words. Instead, a small moan slips out. 

 

“Well, in that case.” Patton slides down until he's face to face with Virgil's dick. It twitches pitifully, waiting to be touched, licked, sucked, stroked.

 

Patton leans in, kissing the tip ever so gently. “Eughf. Patton, please.”

 

I sound desperate.

 

It's cuz you are.

 

Patton does as he asked, his tongue reaching out towards the shaft. He teases it, small licks up and down the length, followed by a single lick to the tip of his cock.

 

“Please!”

 

As Virgil blurts it out, he watches Patton slowly envelop him into his mouth. The feeling is unlike any other. An explosion of sensation. Virgil has gotten off while thinking of this, never expecting it to actually happen. 

 

Patton’s head bobs slowly up and down. Virgil feels his tongue, still flicking up and down the small shaft. He feels Patton’s hands, reaching up his stomach, down his hips, sliding between his legs. Two fingers slide deep inside him. 

 

“Mmf! Fuck! Patton! Fuck yes. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.” 

 

Virgil’s mouth moves without permission, tracing each delicious sensation. He reaches up to cover his mouth. Patton lifts his head slightly, looking into the other boy’s eyes. Without thinking, Virgil takes his other hand and shoves back down. Patton lets out a surprised mmf but keeps going. His fingers pull forward inside of Virgil’s cunt as his tongue works up and down his cock.

 

“Fuck! Pat- I’m- I’m cumming!” The orgasm explodes out of him. Virgil feels it spilling onto his fingers, down onto the bed. 

 

Fuck. He can probably taste it.

 

Virgil’s back arches. His legs shake. Stars pop into his vision.

 

Breathe.

 

Virgil’s nails dig into Patton’s hair. He forces them to release, feeling the shaking slow. 

 

Patton sits up, letting the cock fall from his dripping mouth. “Mm. You were such a good boy.” He moves upwards until he's laying on top of Virgil, their chests against each other, hearts beating in unison.

 

“Don't you want to cum?” Virgil asks, surprising even himself with his forwardness.

 

“Yes.” Patton pants. He is rocking slowly back and forth, Virgil notices. His hard cock brushes Virgil’s own belly. His stomach was smaller than his counterpart, but there nonetheless. 

 

No wonder they teased y-

 

Shut. Up. 

 

“How?” He finally whispers. 

 

“What?”

 

“How do you want me to make you cum?”

 

“I…” Patton blushes even harder. I didn't even know that was possible. “I want you inside me. I want to hold my toy against my cock as you pound me senseless.”

 

“Awful blunt of you, Pat.”

 

“Darn, Virg. When I’m horny anything can come out of, or into, my mouth.”

 

Virgil, who was taking a sip of the water on his bedside table, forces himself not to spit. 

 

“So cute! Cmon baby, just put it inside of me.” A small, black toy appears in his hand. It is round and sort of shaped like a funnel, with a hole carved in the middle. Virgil's cock twitches in jealousy. 

 

“With the knot, won't that stick-?”

 

“There's a reason I wear polo shirts untucked in the evenings.”

 

“Oh…” Virgil blushes, remembering a slightly redder Patton sitting playing board games with the other 3, shirt covering his groin. 

 

“Just put it in already.” Oh. Right. 

 

“Okay. Ready?” Patton nods, raising himself up and onto Virgil’s dick. They're in the exact same spots as last night, but reversed. Hot. 

 

Patton rocks up and down, carefully placing the toy over his own twitching cock. “Oh man.”

 

“Good? Hm?”

 

“Yes. Yes it- Oh. Gosh. Darn.” Between each word, Patton lets out a small moan. Virgil rocks his hips up ever so slightly, savoring the surprise and pleasure mixing on his lover’s face.

 

“I’m gonna. I wanna. I-”

 

“Cum for me.”

 

Patton’s eyes roll back into his head. His hand holding the toy squeezes down. He falls forward, free hand bracing himself on the bed. Virgil feels him squeeze against his cock, dripping liquid down into a puddle between their legs.

 

“Fuck. I’m- cumming too.” Virgil's back arches, further pushing his cock inside of Patton. Patton’s eyes widen as he near-screams incomprehensible syllables of pleasure. He smells their scents mixing together in the air. That plus the smell of cum and sex and sweat leaves him balling the blankets in his fists as he curls upwards. He reaches up to Patton’s back, dragging his nails across it. 

 

Eyes rolled back, legs shaking, back arched, Virgil becomes aware of a creaking sound from very far away. 

 

“Hey, Virgil, breakfast is ready- oh my fucking god.” A plate clatters. There is an over-dramatic gasp. Roman stands there, mouth agape. A flick of Virgil's finger’s and the door slams shut. As the last of the pleasure shudders out of him, Virgil hears a faint and breathless “Oh dear.”

Chapter 3: Talking It Out

Summary:

Virgil and Patton confront their unexpected visitor. Words are exchanged and plates are smashed. Someone who deserves it gets smacked.

Notes:

Tw for physical violence and mean words. Not sex this chapter just a lot of drama.

Roman calmly sweeps the scraps of the plate off of the floor. The two sides both in front of him, staring- invested- at the ceiling. Once he had clambered out from under (and inside of) Patton, Virgil had dressed them with a snap of his fingers.

“So… how long has,” Roman glances up, “This, been happening?”

“Just last night.” Patton blurts out, the words tangled together in a single breath.

Just last night? Talked too fast. Is he embarrassed of me?

“Also this morning.” Patton shoots him a look.

Roman nods sagely, trying to suppress a grin. “I’m glad you finally got it out of your system, Virg.” He winks.

Hehe system.

Shutuuuup.

“Excuse me?!”

“Sorry I was… talking to myself,” Virgil didn't think he could blush any harder, “I- uh- it was supposed to be inside my head.”

Like you should be inside Patton right now.

Virgil lets out a very unmanly squeak.

“Are you quite all right?”

“What do you think?” Shit. That sounded angry.

It's because you are.

“I think you probably didn't want me to see you naked, yes?”

“You have no shame. Not even pretending to feel bad about it.”

“You have enough shame for the both of us.”

Virgil feels himself start to shake. He reaches his hand up to his mouth to chew his fingernails. A hand reaches out and covers his fist. Patton.

How the fuck does Anxiety get anxiety?

“Thank you,” he whispers out.

“It's not my fault you can't keep quiet. You might as well have left the door open. The walls in the main room were practically growing dicks-”

SMACK.

“Pat-!”

“Don't talk to him like that. Not after what you did. Walking in here like that. Insulting him to his face. Do you hear me?” Patton’s face is inches from Roman. The broom clatters to the floor.

I've never heard him so angry. Not even when he found out puffins went extinct. This is over me?

Roman looks terrified. “Patton, I-”

“Shut. Up.” He spits. Virgil sees his glasses start to fog.

Virgil steps between them. They look at him, surprised.

One more fight to mediate.

“Both of you. Out.” Virgil feels his voice rumbling, the echoing, anger version of him threatening to escape.

“I-”

“ØɄ₮.”

Patton looks at him pleadingly.

“ɎØɄ ₩Ø₦'₮ Ⱡł₭Ɇ ₩Ⱨ₳₮ ɎØɄ ₴ɆɆ.”

“I’m not scared of you.”

You should be.

A snap and the door is closed, nearly missing the end of the prince’s sash.

TRAPPED. TRAPPED. RUN. HIDE. DANGER. FIGHTING. BAD. HIDE. TRAPPED.

Virgil is under his covers. He doesn't know how he got there.

Leaveleaveleaveleave. Please. Pleasepleaseplease.

“Hey, Virg, I’m gonna sit down next to you on the bed. I’m not gonna hurt you.

You hit him. You'll hit me.

“You're scared.” It was a statement. Not a question.

Nod.

“Of me or him?”

Of myself.

“I’m sorry you had to see that. I hate it when we fight. Especially in front of you.

Scared. Hurt him. Hurt me. Need pain.

Teeth in a closed fist helps ground.

How long have I been rocking back and forth?

“You're safe.”

Going to hurt me. Deserve it. Do it. Now.

“I would never hurt you. I'm here to protect you.”

Why did you pretend to like me?

“I didn't.”

“You heard that?”

“You mumble when you think you talk in your head sometimes.”

“Fuuuuu…”

“Can I hug you?”

“No.”

“Okay,” Virgil can feel Pat searching for how to comfort him, “Do you want a cookie? It's probably tastier than your nails.”

Damn. He sees more than he lets on.

“Where would you get it from?”

“I have as many powers as you, Virg. Chocolate chip, I assume?”

Virgil shoves the blankets off of him. He feels small and sweaty and scared. He snatches the cookie out of Patton’s outstretched hand. Patton unties his cardigan from around his shoulders. He slowly moves to wrap the fabric around Virgil.

“Stop. Don't. Don't touch.”

“Okay.” Patton drops the cardigan on his lap.

How is he so calm?

-You would have been better off if they continued not knowing you existed.- Janus’s voice slithers into his mind, as it always does when he gets scared. -You're the reason they fight. It's your fault.-

Tears sting Virgil’s eyes. He bites his lip, forcing them to stay away. From his makeup. From where Patton can see. And then worry about.

They hate you.

Why would someone who hates me have sex with me?

He was pitying you.

What the-? Huh? What?

“I’m not going to let anyone say anything bad about us, ok?”

“Why…” Virgil searches for words, “Why do you care about me?”

“Because you're a kind person.”

“I am?”

“Yes. You're hurt, but you don't try to hurt anyone else.”

“I hurt Thomas.”

“We all do. Roman gives him art block. Logan makes him feel ashamed to feel. I tell him to put others' needs before his own.”

“I’m a dark side. I don't deserve-”

“Uh uh uh! Recovering.”

“I…Why. Why are you so nice?”

“It's my job.” Patton leans over, clocking his head against Virgil.

“Oww…”

“I am so sorry! And after you didn't want to be touched. I’m sorry-”

This time, it's Virgil who moves. With one movement, he grabs Patton’s flailing hands, then kisses him, hard. When he finally lets go, they're both gasping for breath.

“I… that works surprisingly well to pull someone out of a panic.”

“Yeah.” Virgil smiles. He feels his cheeks burning. For once, he doesn't feel the need to hide it.

“Can you move? The room looks back to normal. Do you? Feel back to normal?” Patton’s face, full of worry mixed with being entirely too flustered, is too much for Virgil.

“Bwahahaha!!”

“What's so funny?” He pouts, crossing his arms.

“You are! You're so darn cute!”

“Am not!” Patton protests, voice muffled as Virgil squeezes his cheeks.

“Are too!” The giggling dies down. Virgil reaches out to Pattons hand, resting on the other boy’s thigh, “You're sweet. And kind. And adorable. And tough. And stubborn as hell.”

“Shuttup.” He's smiling. They both are.

I like this feeling.

“Say, do you think you're ready to see what Sir-Drama-It’s-All-About-Me is saying about what happened?”

Patton’s smile drops, “As I'll ever be.”

They stand, hand in hand, as Virgil snaps and the door slides open. The room is bright compared to his room. He hisses, which makes Patton giggle.

“There they are! Welcome, lovebirds! Tell me, what was it like?”

“Want me to slap him again?”

“Can I do the honors?"

Chapter 4: Apologies and Orgies

Summary:

Virgil and Patton confront Roman for being a dick. Remus jumpscares Virgil and Patton once again helps. One type of help leads to the other.

Notes:

Spicy scenes here, along with more crying. Promise I’m not making the babies sad for no reason.

Logan and Roman are standing in the kitchen. The counters are spotless. Every time Logan walks into a room, it suddenly straightens itself up. He is explicitly banned from most sides’ rooms for this very reason. 

 

Roman is washing dishes, staring down at the water with enough intensity Virgil thinks it might owe him money. He's in a t shirt and an apron instead of his normal princely attire.

 

Logan looks up from his book, “Hello, you two. Congratulations on your coupling.”

 

Roman’s eyes widen. They dart over to Patton and Virgil, then back to the dishes.

 

“So our secret is out then? I was hoping we'd make it a day without you knowing.” Virgil glares at the back of Roman’s head, hoping he can feel it. 

 

Logan quirks an eyebrow. “The walls out here turned red and started pulsing and both Patton and you missed dinner. Of course it would be logically sound that you were engaged in copulation.”

 

Virgil fails to hold back a snicker.

 

“What? I wasn't wrong in my assumption.”

 

Poor man looks so confused.

 

“It's just… you're so…scientific,” Virgil gasps between giggles.

 

“Roman,” Virgil glances over to Patton, who had stepped out from behind him, “A word of paternal advice? If a door is closed, it's best to leave it that way. Especially Virgil. He just learned to trust us to see in. Do you want him to regret that choice?”

 

“No…” Dishes clatter as Roman turns, head still down.

 

“And is there something you need to say?”

 

“Msorry.”

 

“To who? For what?”

 

“For walking in without asking. And for being mean about what I saw. I know to knock. I know not to make it about myself-”

 

“Yet you still do!”

 

“Virgil, he's trying to apologize.”

 

“Why? Because he hurt me? He seems fairly comfortable doing that. He's just mad you saw.” The words tumble out fast, one after another. Roman’s eyes go wide.

 

“I-”

 

“Shut up,” he spits, stepping forward, “Do you feel guilty for doing it or feel guilty for being caught?”

 

“Mostly just for hurting you.”

 

“Waitwhat?”

 

“I don't try to. I’m just careless and open my mouth when I shouldn't. I’m sorry.”

 

Virgil pauses, trying to make his brain comprehend. 

 

Why is he being nice? What changed?

 

“Thank you. Sorry for yelling.” Virgil glances up warily. A small stack of new dishes has piled up on the counter in front of him.

 

“It's ok.”

 

“It's not. I'll… clean these. Me getting upset caused ‘em to exist.”

 

I wondered why he was washing dishes when he could have snapped them away. But if they were made from my anger…

 

As he thinks it, the dishes slowly flicker and fade. He can see the stain of whatever sticky thing appeared beneath them starting to scrub itself away. 

 

Only cleaning them by hand, a kind and selfless action, would have reversed the effects, his thought finishes. 

 

He made an effort, an actual effort to fix his hurt and to make all of our lives better. He truly is improving. 

 

Virgil walks around the counter until he's next to Roman. He reaches out his arms, falling into those of the taller boy.

 

“Mmpf, thank you,” Virgil mumbles. 

 

Roman pats his head awkwardly. He lets his arms drop. Virgil backs away, rubbing his hand against his arm. He makes eye contact with no one. 

 

Suddenly, a shiver goes up his spine. Remus.

 

“All of this yelling and nastiness going on in our head and no one invites me? For shame!” Virgil can hear his wide smile, dripping in poison words. 

 

“ ₲Ø. ₳₩₳Ɏ. ”

 

“Oh so tooooough,” Remus’s voice coos. Virgil whips around. 

 

“I have a sword!”

 

“Thank you, princey,” Virgil sighs and shakes his head, grinning slightly as he hears Roman squeak. 

 

Remus’s smile fades as Virgil cracks his knuckles. Virgil steps out from behind the counter. He holds out his arms, palms pressed out towards Remus. 

 

Virgil winks, then lets go. A stream of purple and black light escapes his palms. It wraps around Remus like a rope.

 

“Ooo! I love being bound!” He squeals. 

 

“Roman, you do the honors?” The prince nods, strutting confidently over to Remus. His apron makes a swish sound against his legs. He touches Remus’s shoulder. With a small zipping sound, the man sinks down into the floor. The group lets out a collective breath. Roman wipes his hands on his apron. 

 

Virgil leans onto the counter, suddenly shaking.

 

“Are you okay, dear?” Patton rests his hand on Virgil's shoulder, “Let's sit down.”

 

He guides Virgil to the couch in the center of their common space. Virgil sinks into it, leaning back. He closes his eyes. Virgil rests his head against Patton’s shoulder. He finally lets his breath out. 

 

“There you go.”

 

Virgil feels the other boy reach his hand over his back, rubbing his shoulder. 

 

“I’m still scared of him.”

 

“I know.”

 

“It's stupid.”

 

“No.” Patton’s hand grasps firmly on his shoulder. 

 

“No?”

 

“He hurt you. He likes doing it. And he didn't change.”

 

“Yeah. But I deserved it.”

 

“Honey?” Patton holds Virgil’s head in his hands, “What are you even talking about? I’m not mad. Genuinely curious.”

 

“I uh… was still pretty toxic then.”

 

“Because no one gave you a chance. It's hard to want to treat people kindly if all you've ever known is hate.”

 

“Oh…” A single tear, then another drops down Virgil’s cheeks. Soon, he's sobbing.

 

“Hey, I got you,” Patton holds him to his chest, rubbing his back. There is a small pop as, with a wave of his free hand, Patton summons a bubble around them. It's light blue, impossible to see through, impossible to hear what is inside on the outside, and vice versa. 

 

“Msorry. I’m so sorry. For everything.”

 

“I know. You've already apologized. Like. A million times.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You can't keep carrying that guilt around forever. It will crush you.”

 

I want you to crush me.

 

Shut up, horny brain. 

 

Virgil takes a gasping breath. How long was I holding it? “I wanna be small. I don't want anyone to see me.”

 

Patton brushes the tears off of Virgil’s face. “I want to see you.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Mhm,” He nods, smiling shyly, “In your best moments and your worst.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you want to date me?”

 

Virgil snorts, then regrets it. His head shoots up. “Arg! The snot went to my brainnnn!!”

 

“Oh no! You ok?”

 

“Yeah. I feel better than I have in ages,” He chuckles shyly, “You want to date me?”

 

Patton nods, “I have for ages. I was scared you wouldn't like me. Because, let's face it, I’m pretty straight laced. I’m awkward. No sense of style-”

 

“You idiot. I love all that.” Virgil lunges for him, planting a kiss straight on his mouth. Their teeth clack. 

 

Bad plan. No more surprise kisses.

 

But they're both laughing. Patton squeezes Virgil to his chest, head thrown back. Virgil is wiping tears, of laughter this time, from his eyes.

 

“Dude, I’m so sorry.”

 

In response, Patton grabs his cheeks. He pulls Virgil towards him, so softly, until their lips connect. And suddenly they're kissing, mouths hungry. It's gentler than before. Virgil pushes his hands into Patton’s hair. 

 

“Mmmfuck,” he gasps for breath.

 

“Mhmm. You're so cute,” Patton gasps, “My boyfriend!! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.”

 

“Yep! A boyfriend who wants to rip those dorky pants off of you- Wait, they can't hear us, right?”

 

“You could scream and they wouldn't hear.”

 

Virgil leans in, climbing even further onto the other boy’s lap. “And you know how to make me scream.” He feels the goosebumps rise on Patton’s arm.

 

“Mhm!” Patton is bright pink. He gives a cheery thumbs up along with his statement. 

 

“You're so cuuute!!” Virgil rocks back and forth without thinking, causing the boy beneath him to moan.

 

“Baby…”

 

“Oops,” Virgil smiles ruefully, speeding up. He snaps to unbutton the first few buttons of Patton’s shirt. 

 

No way I'm getting that open with how turned on I am. It'll just be fumbling and blushing. 

 

Virgil leans down until his mouth is inches from Patton’s neck.

 

“That tickles a little bit.”

 

“What about this?” Virgil's mouth closes around Patton’s scent gland. He watches as he squirms and moans. There is a rush of air and a small sound. As suddenly as it had appeared, the bubble pops. 

 

“Oh come on! We all use that couch!”

 

For once, Roman is right. 

 

Ugh, feels gross just saying that.

 

“So sorry. So so sorry,” Patton sits up very suddenly, even more red than before. If that's possible.  

 

“You said it was soundproof,” he half-whispers.

 

“Yes, but it requires some concentration to keep up.”

 

Like a dick.

 

“What are you laughing at?” Roman sounds genuinely offended.

 

“Just-” Virgil steps off of Patton, of… his boyfriend-! “I don't really know what to say besides oops. We’re… gonna go to my room now. I'll put a charm on the door so nothing inside gets out of vice versa, including my emotions.” Patton stands up too, hurriedly buttoning his shirt and fixing his cardigan. 

 

“No. Stay.”

 

“I’m sorry what?”

 

I've never heard Logan so commanding.

 

“Roman and I occasionally engage in simulated copulation. I would like to see if there is anything I have not incorporated into my research.”

 

Virgil glances over to Roman, trying very hard not to look like he's wiping spit off his chin.

 

“What he said. I mean, Virge, you're the only one of us with good fashion sense- shut up Logan. I don't care what men’s fashion says, you're boring. We've all had a crush on you at some point. Plus, Patton’s just cute.”

 

Virgil glances over to Patton, who has flopped back down on the couch. “You ok with this babe?”

 

He shrugs. “All I’m focused on is you. He's right, you know. You're the hot one.”

 

“Ooohkay.” Virgil sits down, somewhat more awkwardly than before. He lets his trusted hoodie fall down to the floor, along with his pants.

 

Patton is lying there, spread across the couch. The pillows that usually sit on it are tossed to the floor. His shirt is off, as is his binder. Virgil finishes stripping, hearing approving murmurs from the crowd and from his boyfriend. 

 

BOYFRIEND. 

 

This is such a weird 24 hours. 

 

It's what you've fantasized about. 

 

Shuttup. 

 

He clears his throat as he watches Patton’s boxers slide off. His tiny cock bounces out with a satisfying wobble. 

 

Virgil sits down, straddling Patton. He reaches his head down to the other side of Patton’s neck, biting down. Patton lurches upward, the motion sending his member straight into Virgil. 

 

“Ohhfuck.” Virgil rocks back and forth, slowly at first, then speeding up. He hears someone walk up behind him. Patton reaches his arms around Virgil’s torso. He feels them leaving a trail of scratches behind. Someone kisses his neck. From the scent of aftershave, too much incense, and a hint of metal, he assumes it's Roman. 

 

Virgil speeds up, watching Patton’s face as he squirms. His hands grab onto the other boy’s ass. Roman wraps his lips around Virgil’s neck, causing him to moan so loud it's halfway to a scream. 

 

Virgil looks up, seeing Logan standing in his shirt, with nothing on his lower half. He watches over the end of the couch, stroking a very erect cock. Virgil can smell his scent from here, sage with a hint of pumpkin. Virgil sees something shimmering as it slides down Logan’s inner thighs. 

 

Slick? That's hot. 

 

Logan walks around from the end of the couch. He reaches out, taking Roman's hand. With a start, Virgil realizes Roman’s other hand is slowly stroking his dick. Logan gets down on his hands and knees behind Payton's head. Virgil sees him raise it in an attempt to see. His grabs Patton’s hair, pulling his head up.

 

“You look at me. You're mine.”

 

“Mhmm,” Patton half moans, half grunts.

 

Virgil glances upward to see Roman, kneeling inches from Patton’s face, lean forward to insert his cock into Logan’s dripping pussy.

 

Logan grunts, looking behind himself to see Virgil staring, still grinding.

 

“Hnng. Customizable genitalia. It's useful…” Logan trails off into a moan as Roman speeds up. 

 

“Virgil, baby, I’m gonna, gonna…”

 

“You wanna cum?”

 

Patton nods.

 

“You need to hold it, baby. I want to see what Logan looks like when he cums. Then we can. Together.” He adds, noticing for the first time just how close he himself was to cumming. 

 

As if on cue, he hears a strong moan coming from beyond him. He watches Roman's eyes roll back in his head as he moans, loudly and dramatically. 

 

Logan shivers as he is filled. Virgil imagines his cock leaking onto the couch with the force of a powerful orgasm. Both Logan and Roman are twitching, bodies stiffening. 

 

“Cum,” he whispers, barely able to get the words out before his own eyes roll. He sees stars as his legs threaten to collapse beneath him. He feels himself cunning, feels Patton curve upwards beneath him just like before.

 

“Oh! FUCK!” He practically screams out, falling forward onto his hands and knees. Patton’s cock is still inside him, pulsing. He grabs onto the fabric of the couch as he keeps pumping. Virgil feels Patton expanding inside of him. 

 

With a final, low whistle, he flops down onto Patton’s chest. Patton is panting and red. His neck is covered in hickeys and bite marks. Virgil glances upwards to the other two.

 

Logan and Roman are cuddling. Somehow, they have turned to face them. Logan is smiling dopily. He looks so unproffessorlike in this state. Much more like a boy who is grateful to be bred. Each of their scents, plus that of cum and sex and sweat, mingles in the air. Virgil feels drunk with the smell and feel of it all. 

 

He says the first thing that comes to mind, “So, y'all stuck too?”

 

“Inexorably,” is Logan’s panted response. 

 

“Means we have an hour or two to talk it over. Or to watch a movie. What do you wanna do?”

 

“I wanna cuddle and watch a mushy romance movie,” Patton pipes up. He's smiling so contentedly. Virgil kisses his cheeks, his forehead, and finally, his mouth.

 

“Anything you want, baby. Especially after the favor you just did for me.” 

 

“Okay,” Patton sighs, pulling Virgil closer. Virgil glances over to see Roman touching the tip of Logan’s, now flaccid, member. He pops his finger to his mouth, then winks. Virgil feels himself shiver involuntarily. 

 

“So… the notebook?”

 

Everyone groans, but Virgil sees Patton smile up at him. 

 

With those eyes, looking up at me… Darling, you are the only one in the world that matters right now. 

Chapter 5: Reminders

Summary:

Patton and Virgil wake up to other two gone, and to an "intrusive" visitor.

Notes:

Sorry for short chapter. Yay angst!

Virgil wakes up at the credits at the end of the film. Patton is snoring beneath him. The other two are gone. For the first time, Virgil sees a faint pink glow around the living room. A bed squeaks in rhythm from Logan’s room. 

 

They aren't done having fun, I guess. 

 

Virgil glances down at Patton, sound asleep. His mouth hangs open and his head is flopped onto the top of the couch. Virgil can feel him still inside, though he’s smaller. 

 

I could probably move away if I wanted to. 

 

Virgil's back twinges, reminding him of the deep scratches Patton left. Hot. 

 

I want him to stay inside me. 

 

Without warning, Patton’s arms wrap around his chest, squeezing tight. 

 

Someone put a blanket on us. It's thick enough I can't feel the cold, or my chest. Unless I really think about it. Shit, I’m thinking about it. 

 

“Mmf,” Patton smacks his lips, squeezing Virgil even closer. 

 

So cute.

 

“Mmmf you're frick-kin ‘mmazing!” Patton’s words are slurred. The last word is an excited squeak. 

 

“So you can curse.”

 

“I really do think you like purple.”

 

Oh. Sleep talking. We could have some fun with this. Virgil smirks to himself. 

 

“Hey Pat, do you like me?”

 

“I… loOove you.”

 

Virgil stifles a laugh. He sounds drunk. If he ever drank…

 

“I love you too.” Patton stirs, shoving them both sideways. Virgil falls with a thump on the couch. There's a wet spot under his hands. 

 

Where did that-? Oh.

 

“How come I’m an alpha… mno one thinks I’m tough?” Patton’s face crumples into a frown.

 

“I think Roman was intimidated.”

 

“I wanna… be buff… like Logan or. Or Roman…”

 

“You're perfect as you are, baby.”

 

“Mmfmp, why don't I get…any mfhynshk?”

 

“What did you say?”

 

“Mmpf.” Patton rolls over, or tries. Virgil feels him stiffen, starting to wake. 

 

“You ok hun?”

 

“I missed the ending. It's my favorite movie.” 

 

“What were you saying?”

 

“I don't know. But me falling knocked me out of a dream-” Virgil hears his voice, both pouty and sleepy. He feels Patton glance down. 

 

“What's up, hun?”

 

“You kept it in.”

 

“I… I- it felt nice.”

 

“I know it did,” Patton grinds against him slightly, laughing as he squirms, “Explains the dream though.” Hot. 

 

“Shhhuttup.”

 

“Make me.” He feels Patton’s forehead redden. 

 

“So cuuuute!”

 

“Mmf. Thank you,” Patton pretends to pout.

 

A floorboard creaks behind the couch. Virgil sits up, hearing Patton yelp at the sudden movement inside of him. He holds the blanket to his chest, trying not to look down. Behind the couch stands Remus. 

 

Of course. I can never have a good day without him coming in and ruining it. 

 

“My, my, my. Did you have a fun morning?”

 

“That spell should have kept you there for 6 hours.”

 

“Oh it did!” Remus is practically clapping, “I’m soo glad you finally fucked. Can I join in next time?”

 

“Fuck. Off.”

 

“Never!” Remus cackles.

 

A small pop and they're back in a bubble. Patton moves backward. Virgil bites his lip, trying not to moan as his cock leaves him. 

 

“We gotta get dressed. I don't want him seeing you and making fun of you and-”

 

“Done,” Virgil snaps both their clothes back on, “God, he's so annoying.”

 

Patton rubs his shoulder. 

 

“We don't have to talk to him.” 

 

“Talk to whom?!” Both boys startle, looking over to Remus’s face shoved through the bubble. 

 

“How?!”

 

“Patton, my dear, I am intrusive thoughts. I have the ability to intrude . Boop!”

 

Patton rubs his nose, looking as if he's debating between slapping someone again or maybe just throwing up. 

 

“Okay. I’m fucking done with this.”

 

Patton glances up, confused.

 

“You're a bitch, but you do have a master. Janus!” The side rises from the floor in front of them, the back of his head hitting Remus’s nose with a satisfying crack.

 

“What?” He says, rubbing the back of his head.

 

“Fetch.” Virgil points to Remus, hand pressed to his nose.

 

“ Why should I listen to you?”

 

“If you don't, I'll tell them everything .”

 

Janus’s eyes go wide. A zip sound and they both sink back down. 

 

“What was that about-?”

 

“Don't. Ask.”

 

“Okay.” Patton wraps his arms around Virgil’s shoulders. He brings his nails to his mouth, only to feel them swatted away. Patton grabs one of his hoodie strings and attempts to feed it to Virgil. He misses. 

 

“This one won't hurt your teeth as bad.”

 

Virgil grabs onto it, biting down. His throat tightens as he tries to hold back tears. How is he so kind? Why to me?

 

“Let's sit down.”

 

“Okay,” Virgil sighs, then nods. They plop back down to the couch, side by side. Virgil rests his head against Patton’s chest. The buttons digging into his forehead feel odd, and cold, but the pain is grounding. 

 

“Want to talk about it, distract, or comfort?”

 

“Can't. Don't want. No talk.”

 

“Okay.” Patton strokes Virgil's hair. He realizes that he's humming.

 

“Did you…? Memorize Panic at the Disco?”

 

“...Yes.” Patton’s shy smile is visible, even though the blur of Virgil’s tears. 

 

“For me?”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

Virgil hugs him tighter. He's sobbing now. But, for once, he isn't crying alone. 

Chapter 6: The Whole Truth

Summary:

Virgil has a bad dream. Patton comforts him, and listens as he explains his past and what the dark sides did to him. Soon, they reminisce about the group "activity" of the previous day.

Notes:

Major tw here for anyone who's ever been locked in a room and/or brainwashed. Ended up self inserting a bit of my own trauma. I promise it's not gonna end up being this repetitive. This is a continuation of the plot I’m building.

Virgil opens his eyes. He's in a dark room. A familiar one. He is sitting on a dirty recliner. A single, pale light fixture casts its sickly hue over his face and legs. Virgil is wearing nothing but boxers, he realizes with a start. It's cold. He shivers. He does not look down. At his chest. At his legs. At his breasts. At the scars. There is a clinking sound. He looks up. 

 

“Boy. Up.”

 

He stands, legs shaking.

 

“Good. Are you scared?”

 

He nods. Virgil reaches his hand upwards to chew on his nails. Someone smacks his hand away. 

 

“We don't like keeping you here, but it's for your own good.”

 

Nod.

 

“Tonight is an important performance. Roman is out there helping, as will I. Lying is a sort of performance… after all.”

 

Nod. Virgil moves his hands over himself, trying to cover his body. A body that feels less and less like his. 

 

“We have no need for anxiety, ” Janus spits the last word with such venom that the other boy flinches, “Remus will be watching you.” He nods to the corner of the room where the prince stands. He smiles gleefully. 

 

Janus turns on his heel. The door shuts and locks with a loud thunk.

 

“We’re gonna have fun, aren't we?” Virgil feels hands running along his shoulders. He squeezes his eyes shut, “Should I start by reenacting your most embarrassing moments… or would you prefer your worst fears? Oh! We could combine them!” He says, almost giddy. 

 

Virgil brings his hands to his face, pressing on his eyes until he sees stars. Breathe. You need to breathe.

 

POP. 

 

“I’m actually feeling quite relaxed-” 

 

Where am I? I’m on a staircase? Crap what do I say?

 

“Hey-”

 

“What the heck!?”

 

He looks so angry. Always does when I show up. 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Was I not wanted at this exact second?”

 

“Oh for crying out loud. You're never wanted.”

 

“What-? I-” This isn't how the script goes. 

 

“You don't deserve to be talked to. To be looked at. To be here.”

 

“ ₩Ⱨ₳₮?! ₮ⱧɆ ₣Ʉ₵₭?! ”

 

Virgil sits up, waving his arms around. His right arm smacks into something soft. 

 

“Ow!!” Patton squeaks.

 

“Help! Help me! Where am I?! Who-? Where-?” Virgil gasps. He pulls his knees to his chest, curling into a ball.

 

“You're safe. You're in the present. Your name is Virgil. I’m Patton. We’re in your room.”

 

I don't have a name. Or a room. Don't deserve it. Not mine. Who did I steal this from?

 

He feels someone wrap their arms around his shoulders. Virgil flinches away.

 

“You're safe. But I won't touch you.”

 

“You can. If you want to.”

 

“Do you want me to?”

 

“It doesn't matter what I want. They hate me.”

 

“Hey,” Patton’s voice is soft and soothing, “I’m not mad at you. Neither is Logan. Or Roman. No one who matters hates you.”

 

“Mm don't deserve it.”

 

“That's not true.”

 

“It isn't?”

 

“Who told you that you don't deserve kindness?”

 

“Janus.”

 

“And what is Janus’s job?”

 

“Lie.”

 

“So…?” Damn it. I hate when he makes points that make sense. 

 

“I don't know if what he's saying is true.”

 

But what if it is?- a little voice whispers. 

 

“And if it's something that makes you feel bad… It's probably a lie.”

 

Virgil takes a shaky breath. “Yeah…”

 

“Mhm?”

 

Virgil slides down Patton’s front, his head thunking slightly on his chest. He feels him brush hair out of his face. 

 

This is nice.

 

Virgil’s heart jumps. His throat tightens.

 

Do I deserve it?

 

“You're safe,” Patton mumbles. 

 

Virgil tries to breathe at a normal speed. “Thank you.”

 

“Bad dream?”

 

“...Yeah.”

 

“Wanna talk about it?”

 

Virgil shakes his head. He dives farther into Parton’s chest, wrapping his arms around the other boy's back. He feels Patton nod, stroking his hair slowly. 

 

Breathe.

 

Can't.

 

Breathe.

 

“Do you want a distraction?”

 

Nod.

 

“The only thing I can think of right now is a fact about chocolate chip cookies. Did you know they were invented on accident?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Yep. The inventor thought the sliced chocolate would melt and give him chocolate cookies. It's also how chocolate chips were invented.”

 

“Really? No shit.”

 

“Only if you eat too many cookies!” Patton laughs at his own joke, “Though, I don't think there is such a thing.” He smiles. 

 

He looks so cute when he's excited. 

 

Patton glances down at Virgil’s face, his smile faltering slightly. 

 

He's worried. 

 

Should I tell him?

 

Fuck it. 

 

Virgil takes a deep, slow breath, then lets it out. 

 

“They used to lock me in a room. When… when Thomas didn't need me. Want me. I didn't have clothes. Or a name. Remus and Janus would manipulate me, hurt me with words and visions and lies. I escaped and the first thing Thomas did was yell at me.”

 

Patton sucks in a breath, pulling Virgil closer. “Okay, how much murder would you be all right with?”

 

“Aren't you literally Morality?”

 

“Pssh,” Patton waves away his question, “You know me. I both don't and can't fight. I may slap occasionally, but I know exactly how well I'd fare in a brawl.” He juggles his belly. 

 

“Are you kidding me? You're super strong. I bet you could take both of them at once! Plus, your belly is cute as shit. You gots a dad bod but it's what makes you a daddy.”

 

Patton snorts, then bursts out laughing.

 

“You saw me with Roman right? He could've squished me if I wanted to. He knew I was right though…”

 

“What you did with Roman was hot as fuck. The standing up for me. When I… couldn't.”

 

“Wowsa. As hot as sex?”

 

“That's not- as fuck… is an expression. But in that case, yes it was as hot as when we fucked.”

 

Patton’s mouth snaps shut, his smile merging into a blushing smirk, “Thank you baby.”

 

“I mean it!” Virgil pounces onto Patton, knocking him onto the bed, “You're hot and cute and sweet and kind and and so fucking tough! Even if you aren't intimidating.” He pokes Patton’s belly, feeling it squish slightly. 

 

Patton turns practically purple. He giggles. “Spose I’m about the color of your makeup when you get happy.”

 

“I…what?”

 

“Oh you didn't know?” Patton sits up, suddenly bashful. Virgil grabs onto his waist, trying not to fall on the floor. Patton squeaks at the touch.

 

“Know what?” He squeezes again, watching Patton wriggle.

 

“Stawwwp! It's- your makeup turns purple when you get happy. You never noticed?”

 

“I uh…” Virgil looks down, moving his arms to the side, “Looking in a mirror makes a day bad, even if it was a good day to begin with. That makeup is the only thing that keeps my face… from looking like theirs.

 

Good job ruining the mood.

 

Patton’s arms wrap around his torso, “Baby, I love you, but I don't see what you see. You have neither scales nor a mustache. Plus, your hair is different. Duke’s is greasy and we can barely see Janus’s. And they never smile like you.”

 

He's trying to comfort you. He doesn't know what it feels like to have your worst memories done by someone who looks enough like you that the mirror is a jumpscare. 

 

“The eyes are the same. The voice is close too. And Janus only showed me the scaly side when he wanted to scare me.”

 

“I… didn't consider that. I’m sorry.”

 

“Duke would change what he looked like so often. Usually he'd mirror what I did. My expressions. My tears. It was horrible.” Virgil shivers, shoving his face into Patton’s neck. 

 

“I’m so sorry. So so sorry.”

 

“You didn't do it.”

 

“I let it happen.”

 

“You didn't know I existed.”

 

“I could have looked. We could have asked them where they went when they weren't tormenting us.”

 

Tears flow from Virgil’s eyes. He doesn't even try to stop them.

 

Good thing I only wear smear-proof. Think he only has one cardigan. 

 

Wouldn't wanna ruin that too. 

 

Patton rubs his back, murmuring comfort. 

 

Memories flash before Virgil's eyes. He squeezes them tight. It just makes them brighter. 

 

“-protect you from them now.”

 

“I didn't hear you. What?” Virgil sniffles, his breath stuttering in his throat. 

 

“I hate them for what they did to you. But they won't do it again. We all protect you from them now.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“You aren't there, even if it feels like you are.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You have a room now. You can lock the doors. They couldn't get in even if they wanted to. Each room, you have to be invited. It's why Roman only made it to the doorway.”

 

“Ugh don't remind me about that. So embarrassing.” Virgil mumbles. 

 

And a little hot, but we aren't thinking about that right now.

 

“May I ask a dumb question?”

 

“You're never dumb,” he smiles, booping Patton’s nose, “But yes. Shoot.”

 

“If you didn't have clothes, where did you find them?”

 

“I sorta just appeared in them? It's similar to what Thomas wore as an angsty teen. Guess that was when I was more active. Before they locked me away…”

 

“That makes sense,” Patton squeezes his shoulders until he lets out a small oof.

 

“Did you get your own room then? Did you get away? I remember knowing you existed, but not seeing you much, or ever…”

 

“I found an empty room on the side of a room after I blipped out from where Thomas was. The main area, I think, now that I remember. I sort of locked myself in there until he called me or us out.”

 

“Makes sense,” Patton pauses, thinking, “Do you want to tell the rest of them?”

 

“No,” Virgil says, too quickly, “Roman… won't get it. Logan will tell Thomas. And if either of the dark sides’ names get mentioned in the common room they'll probably get brought there.”

 

“Do you feel safe leaving the room?”

 

“Honestly, no. Not with them out there. I never really did, though. I just forced myself out eventually-”

 

“Movie night. When we all made popcorn and watched The Office. You snuck in next to me and we all jumped when you started talking.”

 

“Yeah,” Virgil pushes his bangs back, smiling awkwardly at the memory, “I was terrified, but I was tired of hiding. I figured they couldn't find me.”

 

“And then they did.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And I protected you. I showed you my magic silent bubble while the other two faught them off. I was never one for fighting. I’m there for comfort. For guidance-”

 

“For kissing!” Virgil pecks him, missing only slightly in his excitement. Patton giggles, obviously flustered. 

 

“That too,” he goes back into Serious Mode- too quickly for Virgil's liking, “Do you feel safe to leave sometime today? I know we don't technically have to eat, but it's a fun social activity.”

 

“I… not really.”

 

“Perfect. Me neither. Like, what we did was really hot, but I now know exactly what Logan’s butthole looks like and I'm not good at poker faces.”

 

Virgil’s snickers turn into chuckling. He holds his stomach, flopping sideways off of Patton’s lap.

 

“Me with Roman! Like, why is his dick so big? I’m jealous and also a little worried for Logan's insides!”

 

With this, Patton bursts out laughing. He falls sideways, on top of Virgil's chest. For once, he doesn't mind someone touching it.

 

After catching their breath, Virgil looks over to Patton. He's smiling up at him, bright red and trying not to giggle.

 

“You know, I do want to know what it feels like.”

 

“What?”

 

“Roman’s dick. Like, I just had a mental image of him fucking me while you… uh… suck me off and…it sounded hot…” Virgil trails off. 

 

“As long as I get to see how Logan manages to change his downstairs. I am jealous and intrigued.”

 

“You sound like him. Beep boop. I'm a computer. Must experiment. Copulation.”

 

Patton bursts out laughing, clutching his sides. Virgil snickers along with him. 

 

He's so cute. 

 

“Of course,” Virgil holds his hands out, cupping Patton’s face, “You're way hotter than any of them. Any sex I do with any of them would definitely involve you. It would be to add to our relationship, not replace it. In case that was a worry.” He finishes, flushing harder. 

 

“Of course! Sex is sex. It's fun, but it doesn't mean you're dating ‘em. You can just be friends who platonically doink while your boyfriend also helps get you off.”

 

“Pretty much, yeah. Tell me if I suggest something you don't want, ok?”

 

“Same with me to you, okay Virg?” 

 

He nods, hugging Patton close. Virgil leans his lips close to Patton’s ear. “Of course, but right now that image is making enough blood go to my dick that I’m seeing stars so, like, give me five minutes to get him to settle down.” He gestures downward with his eyes. 

 

“Want help?” Patton sounds breathless, desperate.

 

“Of course, baby.” A snap of his fingers brings two toys into his hands. A blue dildo, large and with a button to make it vibrate, plus a clit massager (also with vibration) appears in his hands. 

 

“Oooh.” Patton’s eyes widen.

 

Virgil, already plenty wet from the images in his mind, as well as the man in front of him, wishes away both of their clothes. The clothes fold themselves neatly onto the floor. He slides himself easily over the toy. He's about to place the other toy when another pair of hands, shaking in desperation, shove it aside. 

 

Patton licks his lips. He leans down towards Virgil’s cock. Virgil sees it twitch as Patton slides it into his mouth. The other toy vibrates deep inside of him. He feels his tongue work up and down the shaft as he sucks in.

 

“Oh FUCK.”

 

“Mm?” Patton smiles, bobbing his head up and down.

 

Virgil grabs his hair with one hand, gently pushing the toy in and out with the other. A hand grabs his, shoving it out of the way. He feels the dildo move in rhythm to Patton’s bobbing. 

 

“Omygod baby. Keep. Keep going.”

 

He feels each lick and suck on his cock, every new movement sending a jolt of electric, delicious sensation up his body. Virgil feels the hair on his arms raise. The dildo hits the right spot. He arches upwards as he feels Payton's rhythm go slightly faster, angled to hit the just-right spot.

 

“Mmfuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Gonna cum!”

 

Both hands are in the other boy's hair. He pulls it, feeling pleasure exploding out of him. Virgil’s dick twitches as he writhes. He feels Patton keep going, both with the toy and his tongue.

 

Virgil tries to keep his legs spread open, but they squeeze around Patton’s head. He loses control of his body, twitching and squirming. He moans, loud, and pulls Patton’s hair. 

 

As the orgasm subsides, he feels Patton lift his head. He looks up at Virgil, mouth and cheeks shining with cum. Virgil pulls on his hair. Their lips meet. Virgil tastes himself on the other boy’s tongue. 

 

He feels wetness on his leg. Looking down, he sees Patton dripping, his tiny dick rock hard. 

 

“Oh, baby. You've been holding on for so long. I’m sure… you just want… a release.” Without warning, he grabs Patton’s hips, moving him up and onto his face. Virgil feels Patton’s cock graze his cheek. 

 

Patton’s legs are shaking slightly. Virgil leaves kisses up and down his thighs, watching as he quivers. He pulls the cock into his mouth, letting Patton rest his legs on either side of his head. 

 

Patton’s hips glide against Virgil’s head. He sucks his cheeks in, moving his tongue up and down the shaft. He hears Patton moan as he drops down onto all fours. His hips push his dick farther in, moving rhythmically. Patton speeds up, grabbing onto the pillow beneath him. 

 

Virgil reaches up underneath the other boy. His digits find the hole, sliding easily in. Virgil twirls them deep inside as he continues to suck. Patton shivers, letting out a desperate moan, one that shifts into a growl as Virgil's fingers find their place. Patton throws his head backwards as his back arches. He tightens around the other boy’s fingers. Virgil feels Patton’s cum dripping down into his palm. He feels Patton twitch again, eventually falling sideways off of his face.

 

Virgil licks his lips, and his fingers. “Did I do good, baby?” 

 

Patton responds in an unintelligible, but approving, mumble. 

 

“Scoot down so I can cuddle you.” Patton does as requested, leaning his chest against Virgil’s.

 

“That. Was hot.” Patton pants.

 

“As fuck?”

 

Patton nods, giggling, “Yes. The sex was as hot as sex.”

 

“Do me a favor baby? Please take my toy out. It's been going this whole time.”

 

Patton’s eyes widen. “You want to cum first?”

 

“Please.” Virgil arches upwards, his vision going black as his eyes roll into his head. Fingers grasp his cock and pull slightly. 

 

“Fuck. Don't stop.” 

 

Virgil’s back arches. He explodes into frantic moans and curses, all the time calling Patton’s name. Virgil twitches.

 

“Mso good. So good.”

 

“Yes you are.” Through the cloud of smells and sensations, he feels Patton kiss his cheek. The dildo is removed, gently, with a loud wet sound. 

 

Feels just as good coming out. Better, since I’m even wetter. 

 

“Catch your breath, hun.” Patton rests his head against his chest. Virgil holds him close, panting. 

 

I love him. So much. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“For…?”

 

“Saving me.”

Chapter 7: Confronting Our Past

Summary:

Virgil challenges Janus about his past. Words are exchanged. The rest of the sides are woken by them yelling.

Notes:

More plot-heavy chapter here. Lots of angst and anger.

Patton fell asleep on Virgil’s chest. He hears him snoring. Virgil tries not to think about what is underneath his head, under his clothes, under the binder. 

 

Virgil grabs Patton’s shoulders gently, setting him down onto the bed. He mumbles, smacking his lips, but doesn't wake. 

 

Virgil stands up, his legs shaking slightly. 

 

It's time. I have to do this. 

 

He opens the door slowly, wincing as the light touches his eyes. He looks to the right to Patton’s room, door covered in badly drawn, but passionate, art. 

 

The main area is empty. Must be night time. Or nap time. Either way, they're asleep. 

 

Virgil’s legs drag on the floor as he walks past the couch, past Logan’s room, past Roman’s, and towards a darkened hallway. His throat has a lump in it, as does his stomach. 

 

Virgil walks into the darkness of the hallway. A chill slides up his neck.

 

Not alone. They can always feel when I’m near. And alone. 

 

“Hello.” Janus hisses. His eyes glow yellow in the dark, shining a pale light on his cheeks. The scales on his left side shine. For once, his hat is off. He wears a t- shirt and boxers. A yellow streak runs along his messy hair. 

 

“Hi,” Virgil’s voice is quiet, but firm, “Can we talk?”

 

“Suuure. Just come into the room-”

 

“No. On the couch. In the main area. In case you try something funny.”

 

“My dear boy, you really think they care if I hurt you?” Janus reaches out his hand. Virgil catches it by the wrist. 

 

"Stop.”

 

“Okay.” Janus walks past him, into the light of the main space. Virgil starts to breathe again. Or tries to. 

 

Janus sits on one of the chairs next to the couch.

 

“Okay.” Virgil sits down on the couch, elbows on his lap.

 

“Smells like sex out here. Each of your scents is nearly overpowering-”

 

“I did not invite you hear for you to insult me.”

 

“Why did you summon me then?” Janus smiles, tapping his finger against his lip. 

 

“I want to know why.”

 

“Why what?” Janus cocks his head, smiling menacingly. 

 

“Why you hurt me.” The words come out fast and mumbled. Virgil rests his palms against his knees, keeping them spread. 

 

“We kept you there because you hurt the rest of them. You needed to be kept away. To be suppressed. Still do.”

 

“That's not true. And would you stop. Fucking. Smiling.”

 

“You know it is.”

 

“Why are don't you believe I can change?!”

 

“Because you aren't supposed to! Your job is to be Anxiety. To whisper to Thomas at night. To keep him up. To keep him from doing what he wants and needs to do.”

 

“I don't like hurting him! I’m not like you.” Virgil clamps his mouth shut. 

 

Went too far. Should shut up.

 

฿Ɇ QɄłɆ₮.

 

Janus sits back, looking genuinely shocked, “We don't like hurting Thomas. It's our job. Hurting you was to keep you from going out of control. Like that time-”

 

“But it never worked, did it?” Virgil spits out, “Shoving things in boxes doesn't make them go away. It's how we ended up with fucking Remus.”

 

“Remus never left me.”

 

“I escaped you! You hurt me! And you will never see that because you think I deserve it. You hate me for growing.”

 

“Virgi-”

 

“Don't call me that. I didn't even have a name until I got away from you. You didn't want me to be real. To be more than a fragment. You want me to stay bad so you have a partner in your misery-”

 

“Virgil, I do not lie. We tried our best. We needed to keep you in line.”

 

“Your literal job is lying!”

 

“And yours is to be a dramatic bitch. Only one of us is fulfilling the expectations set for us.”

 

“I… Fuck you.”

 

“No. Unlike you, I don't leap to the first man that shows me attention. That thinks of my body is more handsome than deformed-”

 

With that, Virgil lunges. 

 

Gonna fucking kill him. 

 

“Virgil no!” A familiar voice yells. 

 

Virgil’s hand thunks against something blue with a clink. He's alone again. In silence. No one's there. 

 

“Let me at him, Pat!”

 

“It won't help,” a voice echoes from inside the bubble.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“I’m here. But I won't let you hurt each other any more.”

 

“Tough talk for someone who wanted to punch Roman.”

 

“Do not turn your anger on me, young man.”

 

“Young man! I’m fucking dating you!”

 

“Yes. But right now you are acting like an over-dramatic teenager and I will treat you as such until you. Calm. Down.”

 

“He started-”

 

“Doesn't matter. You're both in bubbles. So you don't hurt each other. But you met him on your own. At midnight. You obviously didn't want us seeing what you knew would happen. You don't want us to see you hurting yourself.”

 

“I’m not- I haven't- I’m clean now-”

 

“Meeting with those that hurt you, who you know trigger you, counts as hurting yourself.”

 

“I-”

 

“You wanted him to hurt you. To prove that you were stronger than the memories. The training. Yes?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Janus and Remus have jobs to do, just like the rest of us sides. They hurt you. That isn't excusable. I would never try to. But this is what they were trained to do. The reason they hate you and try to hurt you is because you changed beyond your purpose. They have yet to figure out how to grow.”

 

“I didn't think of it that way.”

 

“That's right. You didn't think. Not past petty revenge and pain,” Patton pauses, letting out a short breath, “Now, do you feel ready to not be in a bubble?”

 

“...Yes.”

 

The bubble pops. Virgil flops down onto the ground. Janus falls backwards slightly, but steadies himself. 

 

Forgot I got bubbled midair. Virgil rubs his wrist. 

 

“Now, do you feel ready to apologize?”

 

“Not to him. Not one more time am I apologizing for what he-”

 

“What about to me?” Patton’s face drops from stern into hurt, “You left me in your room, ran off to your former abusers, and then woke us all up with a fight you wanted to cause. I know you don't care what happens to you right now, but your  change to our side means your actions affect the rest of us. Our lives, anxieties-”

 

“Our sleep!” Roman interjects, rubbing his eyes. 

 

Virgil nods slowly, not looking over at Janus. “Msorry.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“I just. I needed to know. If they liked hurting me.”

 

“Remus did. But he likes hurting everyone.”

 

“I’m not talking to you, Janus.”

 

“Well you were, until you tried to punch me.”

 

Virgil doesn't have the energy to glare. He feels them staring at him. 

 

What do they see? A poor lost boy, stupid and hurting. 

 

“I know we caused the worst parts of your life,” Janus talks slowly and quietly, for once he is still, not smiling. He looks down at his hands, “We hurt you. I can’t take that back. I do not know how to get you to trust me. You barely trust Patton and you two are- Sorry old habits,” he smiles slightly, scales blushing a weak yellow, “I don’t like that what we did haunts you. Remus went too far. And I let him. Because it kept you quiet. I’m truly sorry.”

 

I wish I could believe him.

 

“Thank you.” For the first time, Virgil realizes his hands are shaking. He tries to stand.

 

“I'm trying my best, Virgil.”

 

“Okay,” Virgil mumbles. Patton walks over, grabbing him by the hand. 

 

“Everyone! Bed! Now!” The two other boys are shoved into their rooms, doors locking behind them, “You and I are going into my room to talk things out.”

 

Virgil feels his breath catch, in a bad way this time. “Okay…”

Chapter 8: The Aftermath

Summary:

Patton and Virgil talk over his choice. Virgil tries to trust that Patton will be there for him. Virgil finds some of Patton's lingerie and it turns him on.

Notes:

Tw for talk about self harm and abuse dynamics. Angst and sex yay!

 

Patton shuts the door, careful to not let it slam. “Would you mind telling me why you did that?” He asks sharply.

 

Virgil shrugs.

 

“You said you wanted to ask why, yes?”

 

Nod.

 

“Did you get your answer?”

 

“No. I expected him to feel remorse, at least.”

 

“I think he does. But he has too big of an ego to apologize.”

 

“He's scared to leave Remus.”

 

“What?”

 

“When I left, they lost their plaything. If he comes to your side, he leaves the most toxic of us alone.”

 

Virgil sits down on Patton’s bed, putting his head in his hands. 

 

“I don't think he knew all what Remus was doing to me.”

 

“That… doesn't excuse it. None of this does, honey.” Patton reaches out his hand. Virgil flinches away. His heart breaks a little seeing Patton’s expression, a quick look of pain masked with a smile.

 

“It doesn't, does it. It's just. I learned to make excuses for them.”

 

“I know.” Patton sits down next to him, careful not to touch him. He shifts slightly, an odd expression on his face. The teddy bear he accidentally sat on is flung to the side. 

 

Virgil does not look at him. He looks up at the walls. Each corner is draped with pink tulle. Snaps of old memories and posters for Steven universe are hung up on the walls. 

 

“I hope you know I’m not mad at you.”

 

“Why were you yelling then?” Virgil turns towards him, wiping his eyes with his elbow. 

 

“Because I was scared. Scared that I'd lost you. I walked out to see you sitting with Janus without warning me. Then you lunges at him and I realized the problem I was worried about was not the one we had.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“I hate to see you hurt yourself.”

 

“I know,” Virgil breathes in deeply, “I’m sorry for disappointing you.”

 

“You didn't disappoint me!” Patton looks up, confused, “You wanted closure. I get that. But you also knew that was going to end badly, yes?”

 

“Yeah. I wanted an excuse to yell at someone I should yell at, instead of accidentally taking my stress out on you.”

 

“That's very thoughtful. You know you're allowed to have whatever emotions you want around me, yes?”

 

“I am?”

 

“Yeah! I won't ever run away from you.”

 

“Even demon voice?”

 

“Yep! I just know that as a sign to give you space.”

 

“What are we going to tell the others?”

 

“Whatever you want. I’m planning on saying he knocked on your door to start a fight.”

 

Virgil takes a shaky breath, “Thank you. For everything.”

 

“Of course. I’m here for your ups and your downs.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You don't have to keep saying that.” Patton reaches over and messes Virgil’s hair. He giggles, faking pushing him away.

 

Virgil pauses, “I didn't realize I was falling back into old habits.”

 

“Hm?” Patton freezes too, dripping his hand to his side.

 

“With the… hurting self thing. I didn't realize picking fights counted. I always did that when I wanted people to stop caring about me.”

 

“Yeah, I know. But it never worked.” Patton reaches his arms around Virgil, hugging him close. 

 

“Even if I wanted it to. Which I don't now,” Virgil leans in, kissing Patton on the cheek, “Can we go back to bed?”

 

“Yes! My bed has pillows and stuffies and soft things!” Patton does very excited jazz hands, “I can move them to make room for you, of course.”

 

“It's all right. I'll just squish myself between the dinosaur and the puppy.” Virgil lets himself fall against the bed with a small oof. Patton flops down next to him. Something sharp stabs him in the arm. 

 

Sitting up, Virgil pulls out a black bra and matching underwear from under his pillow.

 

“Hun?” Patton turns bright red. He snatches them from his grasp.

 

“You weren't supposed to see that.”

 

“You're so cuute!” Virgil laughs, digging around under the covers. A picture of himself, taken on one of the group’s more cheerful breakfasts, stares back at him.

 

“Why…?”

 

“Sometimes I need a- a visual aid.” Patton grabs the photo, dropping it onto the floor next to the lingerie.

 

“Oh? Oh.”

 

“Shush!” Patton hides his face in his hands. Virgil smells the scents of fresh bread and flowers get stronger. 

 

“It's okay, baby. I love seeing what you're into.”

 

“I- thanks!” Patton squeaks.

 

“Tell you what? I’m too tired to do anything right now, but I noticed most of your neck, minus the scent glands, are very much bare of marks.”

 

“Ooo! Can I do one too?”

 

Virgil chuckles, “Of course baby. But first…” 

 

He leans in, wrapping his lips around the other boy's neck. He hears him whimper as he sucks in, twirling his tongue.

 

“Virg…” Patton moans. He lets go, receiving an annoyed and flustered look in response. 

 

Without warning, Patton lunges for his neck. He climbs on top of him, pulling at his hair to get a better angle. Virgil feels his heartbeat everywhere, especially.

 

“Oh god!”

 

“Good boy,” Patton looks into Virgil’s eyes as they widen, “That felt silly to say, but your expression says I should say it a lot more from now on. Yes?”

 

Virgil nods, breathless. He tries to calm his heartbeat, but there’s no point.

 

“Could you?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

Patton snaps their clothes off without a second thought. Virgil sees his chest rising quickly. 

 

Patton lines himself on top of of Virgil, sliding gently onto his cock.

 

“Ohfuck.” Virgil grabs onto the sheets beneath him, rocking his hips slowly upwards.

 

“You're going sloww,” Patton whines. 

 

“I'm savoring it. But… if you insist.” Virgil speeds up. He feels Patton tightening around him as he falls forward, face inches from him. 

 

“Keep. Going. Gonna. Cum.” Patton pants between moans. 

 

Virgil obeys, keeping the same rhythm. He grabs into Patton’s hips, rocking him up and down at his own rhythm. He sees Patton curl backwards, feels him squeezing. Virgil feels his own eyes rolling back into his head. He grips onto Patton’s hips, pushing up and down. His brain is gone. His mouth forms unintelligible words. They continue like this until Patton slumps down, a moaning, twitching mess.

 

“Mmm.” He rolls off of Virgil, letting out a small splat sound as they separate. Virgil sees the base of his small cock expanded. In this light, it looks slightly painful. And very, very hot. 

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Patton pants. He grabs Virgil's shoulders, pulling him close. Virgil lets himself go limp. He breathes in their scents, mixing together so beautifully.

 

I was scared to say it, but he feels the same way.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“For trusting me enough to love me. And to show me the parts of yourself I know you hate.”

 

“I… of course I trust you.”

 

“But you don't have to. It's a choice you made. And I’m thankful for it.”

 

“Aw, baby. I trust you because you earned it. Plain and simple.”

 

Patton mumbles something happy, if incomprehensible, and hugs him tighter.

 

“Bedtime?”

 

Patton nods, smiling sleepily.

 

“All right, let's rest.”

 

Patton opens his eyes, looking upwards into Virgil’s face, “I’m glad you let me in.”

Chapter 9: "Watching" the Office

Summary:

Patton and Virgil are invited to watch the Office with the other two sides. Netflix and Chill ensues.

Notes:

Yay to less angst and more sex! Still some plot but not much. Hope you like it!

A gentle knock on the door startles Virgil. He jumps out of Patton’s arms. 

 

“Hey, Pat. Oh and Virgil too. Thomas is watching The Office again, wanna join?”

 

“Who’s watching with you?” The words stumble out of his mouth before he can stop them.

 

“Just me and Logan.”

 

Virgil takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

 

“Okay!” He can hear Roman jump and clap with excitement. His footsteps soon fade away. 

 

“Do you want to?” Patton glances at Virgil, squeezing his hand. 

 

“I like The Office.”

 

“That's not what I asked,” Patton rubs his arm gently. 

 

“I wanna be in public right now. The whole “locked-in-a-room” thing is still too familiar. Even if it's yours.”

 

“Okay.” Patton stands up, then helps Virgil upright. He moves in front of him, opening the door with a soft ‘click.’ Their arms are outstretched, fingers interlocked. Virgil tries to breathe normally. 

 

The two boys are on the couch, watching on the screen before them. Logan is sitting on Roman’s lap. Roman’s hands are wrapped around his belly. 

 

Virgil lets his hand drop. He sits in the corner of the couch, as far from the rest as he can. The tightness in his chest makes him sit up straight and stiff. 

 

Guess that's one way to fix my posture.

 

He feels Patton lean over the couch, his lips nearly to his ears. 

 

“Can I sit next to you?”

 

Nod.

 

“Between you and the others?”

 

Nodnod. 

 

Patton climbs over the couch, trying his best not to look awkward. Virgil tries and fails to resist chuckling. 

 

Patton slides down beside him. Virgil leans his head against his shoulder. He glances over to the other two. With a start, he realizes that Roman’s pants are shoved down just enough to- oh. Logan bounces up and down gently. 

 

Face red, Virgil turns his head to look at the show. A small moan comes from the left of him. He feels Patton’s head shift. 

 

“Oh come on. Really guys?”

 

“Public exhibition and participation both require further research.” Logan’s voice sounds strained. 

 

“I see…” Patton turns to Virgil, face flushed.

 

I’m jealous of Logan right now. Imagine what it feels like inside. 

 

Virgil’s face beams with heat. He sees Patton peering over with more than a little curiosity. 

 

“Patton and I have our own experiments we’d like to run. Right, Pat?”

 

Patton blushes brighter, but nods. 

 

Logan turns his head, “And what are they?”

 

“Well, I for one would love to ride Virgil. And Patton-”

 

“I wanna learn how to change my anatomy! And- and I wanna play with yours.”

 

The other two both raise eyebrows, but nod. Logan stands up, letting Roman’s cock flop down between his legs. Without a second’s notice, Virgil rushes over.

 

Hmm. It's pretty wet from Logan riding but I should make sure it's lubed up enough to fit inside me.

 

Virgil rests his lips around the tip of Roman's cock. It is warm and sticky. It twitches as he takes it into his mouth. 

 

No way am I fitting this into my mouth.

 

Virgil wraps his hand around the base of Roman’s dick. In one swift movement, he tucks most of it his mouth. Virgil tastes Logan’s pussy on Roman. He runs his tongue along the length, bobbing up and down. Without words, Roman grabs his hair, pushing him farther down. 

 

Virgil resists the urge to cough. He moves in a rhythmic fashion, sucking in his cheeks. With his other hand, Roman wipes the tears off of his cheek. 

 

Virgil lifts his head, letting the cock fall. He turns around. Virgil backs himself onto Roman’s member. It slides in easily, thanks to how wet he is. It's big, and wide. It fills him up inside. He grunts. 

 

“So good.”

 

“Yes, you are.” 

 

Virgil moves up and down slowly, feeling every inch of Roman’s cock on his insides. He glances over to his boyfriend, gleefully inspecting Logan’s pussy.

 

“Since, unlike you, I have no real connection to human gender, I can change it at will.”

 

“Awesome!” Patton claps his hands together, then looks over at Virgil, “That's hot,” He looks over at Logan, “Could you… bend over please?”

 

Logan flips over, ass to the air. Virgil can see slick dripping down between his legs. Patton stands behind him, unsure.

 

“You got this babe!” Virgil gives a thumbs up. He moans as Roman pushes deeper.

 

Virgil sees a hand waving in front of his face. He looks and sees Patton, thrusting deep inside Logan. Virgil grabs ahold of his hand.

 

“Ugh. I’m gonna. Cum.” With that, Virgil arches downwards. His plops his elbows down on the coffee table. He hears other moaning. Looking over, Patton is spilling down his legs, grabbing onto Logan's ass for dear luck. He sees his knees try to buckle. 

 

Roman lets out a final grunt. He feels warmth spread into him as Roman grabs for purchase on his hair, his back, anything. Each of their scents mixes together in the air. Virgil moans again. He twitches one more time, then flops down. Or tries to. A knot holds him firmly in place.

 

“Uh, baby?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I’m stuck.”

 

“Me too,” Patton grunts.

 

Virgil sits up, more onto Roman’s lap.

 

“Guess there's a reason for your ego after all.”

 

“Oh hush. You were begging for my cock, were you not?”

 

Virgil blushes. He looks over to Logan and Patton, struggling to get into a similar sitting position. They eventually manage it.

 

Patton reaches out his hand once more. He snaps and Virgil’s hoodie lands gently over him.

 

“I know you hate feeling exposed, hun.”

 

“Thank you.” Virgil feels his eyes water slightly.

 

He's so kind to me.

 

“This experiment seems to be a success.”

 

“Is that science speak for I came really fucking hard?”

 

“Yes.” Roman and Logan answer in unison. 

 

“Ooohkay,” Virgil pauses, glancing at his boyfriend, “You ok babe?”

 

“Yeah. Just knots are annoying sometimes.”

 

“Well, once again, it means we’re stuck here watching TV.”

 

“Ooh, what season is he on now?” Roman pipes up from behind him. 

 

“Looks like the third,” Logan points, “You can tell by the way that Dwight…” 

 

He says more, but Virgil isn't listening. He feels Patton’s hand in his, thumb tracing each of his fingers.

 

No matter what we do as a group, he is always my first choice. He's so cute. And hot. And considerate. Roman’s a dom, which is fine. He's an alpha used to dealing with a beta. But he’s missing Patton’s gentleness. I wish I was swapped with Logan. 

 

The thought surprises him. Generally, he fantasized about huge dicks and domineering men, but Patton’s way of sex was winning him over. They were making love, he decides. Everyone else is fucking. 

Chapter 10: Boundaries

Summary:

After disentangling, Roman asks some prying questions. Virgil's trauma rears its head.

Notes:

More angst for you! And comfort! Again, let me know if there's any errors.

When Roman’s knot fades, Virgil slides off of him. He makes an involuntary oof as it slides out. He looks over to Logan, who is also clambering off of his own knot. 

 

“So… was your experiment a success?”

 

“Undoubtedly,” Logan huffs, “There were factors added we had theorized about-”

 

“Baby, just say we invited them out to bang.” Roman ruffles Logan’s hair. 

 

“Fine, but I liked mine better,” Logan closes his eyes as Roman scratches his head. Suddenly, his eyes snap open, “Hey, Virgil?”

 

“Yes…?”

 

“What happened last night?”

 

Virgil’s breath stops in his throat, “I don't wanna talk about it.” Without thinking, his hoodie fades into existence over his chest. He looks to the floor, trying not to look down at his body. Boxers appear on his legs.

 

Virgil looks over to Patton, sitting next to him. Patton’s face is scrunched in concern. He rubs Virgil’s back slowly. 

 

“I woke up for that too, I believe. Janus and you got into a spat, yes?”

 

Virgil raises his fist to his mouth, biting down slightly. 

 

Shut up. 

 

“Why was he there, anyways? Did you summon him?”

 

SHUT UP!!

 

“He said he doesn't want to talk about it, Roman.” Patton snaps.

 

Thank you. Virgil tries to speak, but his mouth is locked. He bites down on his hand, twisting his hoodie strings with his other hand. 

 

“I’m curious. I’m allowed to ask questions, aren't I?”

 

“Not about this. You know Janus is manipulative. You know he’ll do anything to hurt us, especially Virgil. You are being disrespectful, and- and- you know better given this situation-”

 

Patton continues to talk, but Virgil doesn't hear. 

 

I feel sick. How can someone go from giving someone pleasure to violating their boundaries. Did he ever respect me? Or did he just see me as a way to get off?

 

“Roman, do you see me as a man?”

 

“What? Of course I do.”

 

He's lying.

 

“Why did you fuck me?”

 

“Because… you put it in your mouth?”

 

“No. I mean, why did you call us out here? Besides to interrogate me about my fight with Janus.”

 

“Because group sex is fun. And you seemed to like it and be willing to continue.”

 

“I- fine.”

 

“You okay, Virg?”

 

“No. I’m not okay. You didn't listen when I said no. I had to have Patton say it.”

 

“I’m. I’m sorry.”

 

“If you were sorry you wouldn't keep doing it. You never respect me. Never have.”

 

“That isn't true-”

 

“ ØⱧ ł₴₦'₮ ł₮? ”

 

“Look, I’m trying. I am. Old habits die hard.”

 

“ Ⱨ₳ⱤĐ ₮Ø ⱤɆ₥Ɇ₥฿ɆⱤ ł’₥ ₳ ₱ɆⱤ₴Ø₦ ₦Ø₩? ”

 

“I-”

 

“You're no better than Janus.” Virgil stands up, looking at the ground. He steps around Patton’s arms, walking straight into his room. The door slams automatically. He flops down to the bed. It's dark, but he likes it. His mind is loud. Angry. Terrified. 

 

Not a real man. 

 

Not worth it.

 

Not human. 

 

No name. 

 

Not worthy. 

 

Not a man.

 

Not even a person. 

 

A soft knock on the door comes through the noise of his mind. 

 

“Virgil?”

 

Patton sounds soft, scared. 

 

He should be. I’m a monster. 

 

“Virgil, can I come in?”

 

I want him here.

 

Virgil tries to unlock the door with a flick. His mind doesn't let him.

 

“I can't. I'm trying. It won't let me.”

 

“Can you move? Unlock it manually?”

 

“No.”

 

“Can I try something?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Can you try to summon a key?”

 

“How would I get it to you?”

 

“Summon it outside the door.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Virgil closes his eyes, concentrating until he feels the power inside him pull slightly. He hears something clink as it falls.

 

“Thank you.”

 

The door clicks. Patton walks in, glancing at the room, shrunk and in darkness. 

 

“Wheew. A little dark in here, isn't it?”

 

Virgil nods, suddenly shy. 

 

“You get triggered, hun?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

Shaded in the dark, Patton’s face looks half hidden. His eyes seem to glow. For a second, his face looks scaled. Virgil blinks, shaking his head. He realizes he's shivering. 

 

Patton sits on Virgil’s right. He's careful not to touch him. 

 

“I’m here now.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

They pause. Virgil hears how fast his breath is going. 

 

“I’m sorry for yelling at Roman.”

 

“He deserved it. He's not used to being told no. Part of the trouble of being a creativity holder. Saying yes is how we get new ideas. Stupid ones, sometimes, but ideas.”

 

“Thank you,” Virgil gasps, trying to catch his breath, “I feel stupid.”

 

“You don't have to. Like I said, he deserved it. If he doesn't listen to boundaries when you say nicely, he gets scary Virgil.”

 

“...Yeah.”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“I hate my anger. It's impossible to control once I let it out.”

 

“You did okay this time. You left when you realized you couldn't control what you were saying. You followed what I taught you. Escaping somewhere safe if you feel like you want to hurt someone.”

 

“Yeah… Thank you honey.”

 

“You're welcome. It's sort of my job to care for you. And all of us. I help fix arguments.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I protect you. I guide you. And I’m here for you first. You're used to not being listened to. Or being respected. I’m showing you, and them, how to interact with mutual respect. For yourself. And for others.”

 

Virgil rests his head on Patton’s chest, his arms around the other boy’s shoulders. 

 

“Thank you. Sorry I keep saying it.”

 

“You're okay, Virg. I’m always going to be here. You don't have to apologize. Not for this. You don't need to apologize for existing.”

 

“But I shouldn't.”

 

“Exist?”

 

“I just hurt people.”

 

“That's not true. You protect all of us. Just as much as I do.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“Remember when Roman was infatuated with that one guy and tried to get Thomas to date him?”

 

“Which time?”

 

“The time you had the bad feeling.”

 

“That's not specific either.”

 

“The one at the coffee shop. You felt something wrong and it turned out he was married and cheating. He also tried to get Thomas to have sex when he said he wasn't ready.”

 

“Oh yeah.”

 

“You're our gut feeling. Our compass away from danger. You're learning to determine what's anxiety and what we should be worried about.”

 

“Thank you. I mean it.”

 

“Of course, honey. You're welcome.” 

 

Virgil feels himself relax once again in Patton’s embrace. Without him noticing, the room returned back to its original color and dimensions. Patton’s scent washes over him. Bread and lavender. 

 

I trust him. 

 

The thought is sudden. And surprising. But it's correct.

 

I trust him. 

Chapter 11: Deception

Summary:

Virgil wakes up to Patton making breakfast. He then finds an unexpected, and unwelcome, realization.

Notes:

I had a couple chapters ready to go that I forgot about. Promise I’m continuing the story. Life's been hard but I finished my semester so I finally have time.

Virgil wakes up to the smell of bacon. He looks around the bed, but Patton isn't there. He feels his heart jump. 

 

I’m alone.

 

Virgil shrugs on his hoodie. The door shuts softly behind him as he wanders to the kitchen. Patton is there, cooking.

 

“Hi, hun. Thought I'd surprise you with breakfast in bed! Just didn't expect you to wake up before noon.” He smiles gently. Virgil’s heart still twinges at being left alone. 

 

You're being selfish. 

 

“So, how did you sleep?”

 

“I slept all right.”

 

“Good,” Virgil pauses, ringing his hands, “I’m sorry for yelling at Roman.”

 

“What-? I- well, he's a dick.” Patton’s face scrunches as he realizes what he said. 

 

“A… dick?” Patton flushes. 

 

“Yes?”

 

“Bahaha! I’m rubbing off on you, huh?”

 

While I rub up on him. 

 

Stop, horny brain.

 

“A little, yes,” Patton looks up, suddenly curious, “Those things you said to Janus, did you mean them?”

 

“Yeah, mostly. I don't regret saying it. I do regret talking to him, though. It made you see a side of me I've been hiding pretty well as of late.”

 

Virgil’s head is pounding. How long has it been hurting? Since he saw Patton. But why?

 

“Do you think he feels bad about what he said?”

 

Why do you care? No, I should answer his question.

 

“I’m not sure. He seems convinced he did no wrong, but he's sad he let it go to far. He seems to think hurting me was okay.”

 

“That's not what he said.”

 

“What he said was a justification. Why do you care so much anyways?”

 

Virgil’s head pounds harder. Hard enough to stop him from trying to think.

 

“I just- I feel bad for him.”

 

“Morality feeling bad for the King of Lies? Since when?”

 

“Since I-”

 

“Wait…” The realization hits Virgil with a chill up his spine. Patton looks down, ashamed. 

 

Virgil reaches out to touch the other side’s arm. As he does, the skin shifts and ripples. The blue polo fades, replaced with a green t-shirt. 

 

“What the-?! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT HIM?”

 

“He ran away. Along with the rest of your so-called friends.” Janus smirks, his scales glittering in the light.

 

“PATTON!”

 

“Yes?” Patton’s door creaks open. He stands there, in nothing but a blue t-shirt and boxers. He looks over at the kitchen. 

 

“Oh my gosh!! Virgil, are you okay?”

 

“OBVIOUSLY NOT! This mother fucker pretended to be you!!” Virgil is shaking with rage. He feels purple light accumulating in his palms. 

 

Patton’s feet pound on the floor behind him. He sees hands wrap around Janus's shoulder, pulling him backwards. 

 

“Leave!”

 

Black and purple chords wrap around Janus’s waist. Patton jumps back, pulling his hands away. Janus disappears downwards with a pop. 

 

“What. Was that?” Patton pants. 

 

“He snuck into your place and asked if I felt bad about what I said. Or if I thought he regretted it.”

 

“Weird…” Patton leans on the counter for support, “I’m not used to running.”

 

“I am,” Virgil sniffs, “Damn. He even burnt the bacon.”

 

“How? It was on a stove?!” Patton waddles over, clutching his side. He snaps and the bacon disappears. The smell still stains the air, nearly covering Patton’s scent. 

 

Scent. I should have noticed. The lavender smelled sour and the bread smelled stale. The flowers smelled of rot. It was all wrong.

 

Patton takes new slices out of the bacon container. It smells good, sizzling away. Patton hums as he puts them down, glancing worriedly at Virgil. 

 

“I can't believe he did that.”

 

“I can.”

 

“Yeah. Sorry. Just, that's such a violation of trust.”

 

“He never had my trust.”

 

Patton’s eyes narrow, “Your trust in me to be who I say I am.”

 

“Oh. Yeah. I’m sorry.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I… didn't think of that.”

 

“It's all right, hun.” Patton turns, reaching his arm around Virgil’s waist.

 

“You know what this means, right?”

 

“Hm?"

 

“We have to tell the other two.”

Chapter 12: Old Wounds

Summary:

Virgil calls the other sides together to explain his history, as well as what happened with Janus. The sides offer support as best they can.

Notes:

Second of the chapters I've been sitting on. Can't sleep so doin this.

Logan, Roman, and Patton sit around the living room. Patton sits on the chair to the right of the couch. Virgil stands in front of the screen showing what Thomas can see. 

 

“Ohhkay. So, you guys all saw the fight last night, yes?”

 

Roman and Logan nod. Logan has taken a notepad out of somewhere. Virgil has learned to stop asking questions that won't have a straight answer.

 

“Do you guys remember when I first met you all?”

 

Logan quirks an eyebrow. “Of course. How could we forget such a momentous occasion.”

 

“Yep! We fought from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

 

“And you have yet to stop.” Roman shrugs at the comment. 

 

“Yeah. That. Remember how panicked I looked?”

 

“Yeah. First time existing is hard for everyone.”

 

“But it wasn't. My first time here. I've been in our head for a while.”

 

“Where were you?”

 

Virgil takes a deep breath.

 

I have to tell them.

 

“The other two. They had me locked up in a dark corner of the mind. They tortured me. To stop me from making Thomas anxious. It didn't work. He'd feel any emotions I gave to him.”

 

“Ohhh shit.” Roman looks legitimately startled. Logan’s pencil is hovering over the notepad. It's empty. 

 

“That's why they chose you to harass, yes?”

 

“Yeah. They don't believe I can grow. Because if I can grow, they can too.”

 

“Precisely.”

 

“That's what the screaming was about?”

 

“In short, yes. We need to be careful. Today, Janus tried to convince me to talk to him by disguising himself as Patton. Patton already knew, of course…”

 

Among the dropped jaws, Patton nods. 

 

“He knew everything. I just- it's hard for me to talk about. But since they're actively trying to sabotage me, I figured I'd take away their biggest weapon.”

 

“That's… a lot. Are you coping well?”

 

Virgil sighs heavily. “As well as I can.”

 

“I wish I had learned about you earlier. I would have rescued you.”

 

“Thank you, Roman.” The other boy stands up, reaching out his arms. 

 

“Would you like a hug?”

 

“Sure.” Virgil glances over to Patton, who tilts his head slightly. 

 

I don't want one. But I'll let him hug me if he needs it. 

 

I don't need to make him happy.

 

“Actually, no thank you.” 

 

Roman pauses, hands gently touching Virgil’s shoulder. He moves away, hands still held apart. 

 

“Thank you for telling me.”

 

“You’re welc- Are you stuck?” 

 

Roman’s hands snap down to his side. “No…”

 

Virgil chuckles. He feels a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he sees Logan, holding out a hand. In it is a crudely drawn picture of the four of them. Each of the other three is holding out their arms, walls of color in front of them. Behind them is a purple figure, smiling.

 

“I know Patton is the one who draws. We have them over the fridge. But this is the best way I can show how I feel. I’m not… good at emotions.”

 

Virgil feels tears in his eyes. “Thank you. You'll protect me?”

 

“Of course we will.” Roman holds out his sword, somewhat unconvincingly.

 

“Where did you-?”

 

Illogical answers.

 

“Thank you. I mean it.” Virgil rests his head against the taller boy’s chest. 

 

Wish I was tall.

 

Virgil hears Patton walk up behind him, reaching an arm gently around his shoulders. 

 

“Is this okay touch?”

 

“Yes,” Virgil looks around, feeling his eyes begin to water once more, “Can I go back to my room now?”

 

“Alone?”

 

“I’m done with being alone. Feeling alone.”

 

Virgil leans on Patton as they walk to the door. He hears the other sides discussing in the background.

 

“Where were you this morning, by the way?”

 

“Well, since I get up way before you. Oh, don't worry. It's a good thing. Promise. Anyways, I wanted to eat, so I grabbed a couple apples from my room. And a root beer and an orange juice. I know root beer’s your favorite. I was saving it for you. I was going to surprise you.”

 

“Well, I was definitely surprised.”

 

“No kidding.” Patton chuckles. 

 

“Can I- Can I have them still?”

 

“Of course, honey. You deserve everything I can give you. And more.”

Chapter 13: The Back of My Mind

Summary:

Virgil and the other sides venture to the home of the dark sides, in the darker recesses of Thomas's mind. Virgil finds out a secret about his old tormentors.

Notes:

Thanks for the support. Fanfiction is more fun than therapy for me this week. It was a chance to get some stuff out. I promise the sex will be back, but we're gearing up to the climax, so that comes first (no pun intended).

Muttering slips through to Virgil from behind the door. He leans in, trying to make it out. 

 

“...Makes a lot of sense, given everything…”

 

“I want to hurt that little…”

 

“...Need to ask him what to do.”

 

Virgil opens the door gently, revealing the two sides still sit on the couch. Both look like they've been caught doing something they shouldn't. 

 

“Hey… guys.” He hugs his hoodie tighter to himself, then regrets it as he feels it press against his chest. 

 

“Hi, man. We were…” Roman glances over to Logan, eyes pleading. 

 

“We were discussing what to do, given the situation we were made aware of. Roman wants violence. I want to talk it out.”

 

Roman, now bright red, stands up from the couch. “I will not let them hurt you. We have our squabbles, but I wouldn't- I would never- what they did was… was…”

 

“Torture,” Virgil finishes his sentence with a single word, said flatly, “But they were just doing their job. Or trying to.”

 

“It may have worked, but it wasn't right. You can't keep repeating what they told you to justify it. It's not logical.”

 

Virgil glances at Logan. He looks just as sheepish as at the start of the conversation, but more determined. 

 

“What… did you plan on doing?”

 

“We- uh- weren't sure what you'd want. And we want you to have agency. They hurt you way more than they hurt any of us.” Roman mumbles. Virgil realizes that it's the first time he's seen the boy seem unconfident with what he's saying. 

 

“We can do that, but I have certain rules.”

 

The two boys nod. Virgil glances up to the door to his room. Patton gives him a thumbs up. He sets down the drinks and begins walking towards him. 

 

“One. They need to be restrained. No powers. Limited movement. Second, they talk when I say they can. No exceptions. Third, I’m going to talk to them one at a time so we should keep them separate. Also, all this will be told to them when we get them.”

 

“How will we get them?” The other sides jump, apparently not noticing Patton having moved behind the couch. 

 

“We’ll go to their side of the mind, into their rooms, and banish them from the opposite side.”

 

“We’ll be there for you.” Patton walks around the couch to Virgil's side. He rests his hand on Virgil's shoulder. 

 

“Thank you. I mean it,” Virgil reaches up and intertwines his fingers with the other side’s, “When we send them back, we need to be part of that cast too. With luck, we should be able to bind them and then send them and ourselves.” 

 

“Okay. Let's do this.” Roman stands up, attempting to crack his knuckles. Logan follows suit, straightening his tie. 

 

The group of four walks towards the hallway. The light from the main area barely enters past the door frame. Virgil sees Patton shiver. He reaches out his hand, feeling the familiar coldness as it touches the tips of his fingers. There's no movement in the air, at least not what he can feel. 

 

Logan pulls out a flashlight. The light seems industrial grade, a too-bright LED that shines brightly, everywhere but in that area of impenetrable darkness. 

 

Virgil flicks his fingers, causing his left palm to erupt with a small purple flame. It lessens darkness, if only slightly. Virgil steps forward, trying hard not to hold his breath. 

 

~ ~ ~

 

Their footsteps echo in the dark hall. It seems like it goes on forever.

 

How did I ever find my way through here?

 

Desperation.

 

Virgil leads the way. Roman stands next to him, holding his sword half out of its hilt. Logan is behind him, glancing around with interest and the barest hint of anxiety. Patton takes up the rear, his own palm alight with a glowing ball. The light casts warmly over the floor, covered in dust save for a small path, wide enough for one person to go through. 

 

Probably from Janus.

 

The sides are uncharacteristically silent. Roman glances around worriedly, his face cast in dark shadows from Virgil’s flame. Virgil’s light is not as bright as Pattons. It flickers slightly as he walks. Even with the light, Virgil can’t see more than the floor ahead of him. Something is dripping, the sound muffled due to distance.

 

Virgil holds out his arm. The light from his fire sways, but stays still. 

 

“What?” Patton whispers. Virgil winces as he hears the fear in his voice. 

 

I wish he didn’t have to be here. I’m used to fear. They aren’t. 

 

Virgil glances to his side, holding up his hand. There’s an opening in the wall to the right. The hallway is dark, but there’s a flicker of light at the end. 

 

“This way.” Virgil turns, walking quickly towards the light. 

 

“Is this safe?”

 

“Yes, baby. But be quiet, okay?”

 

They walk, slowly and in silence, towards the light. Virgil looks to his right. There’s a black door in front of him, light slipping from around the cracks. The golden handle glints in the light of the flame. 

 

Virgil reaches out, or tries to. He stands there, arm half extended.

 

Can’t breathe. 

Can’t move. 

Help me. 

Move. 

Stupid.

Can’t even open a fucking door.

 

Someone shifts behind Virgil. A hand moves over his hand. Virgil finally notices that it is shaking. He looks up. Patton smiles gently at him. His eyes shine in the low light.

 

Is he crying?

 

“I’m here.”

 

Virgil falls into Patton’s chest. He holds his breath, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating. The tears stab his eyes as they fall.

 

Back in the room. 

Back in the past. 

They’re gonna hurt me. 

I can’t move. 

I can’t go in. 

Can’t move. 

Don’t move.

They’ll see.

Don’t cry.

I hate myself. 

Don’t deserve it. 

Don’t deserve an identity. 

I just hurt people. 

Stupid. 

Don’t deserve it.

 

The voice in his head is so loud. He’s on the floor. He is sobbing. He can’t breathe. But someone is holding him. Someone he loves. 

 

“I’m sorry. I love you.” He gasps.

 

Why am I so weak?

 

“You’re safe. We don’t have to do this. Right now or ever.” Patton rubs his back in small, gentle circles. 

 

“I want to. I just. Scared.”

 

“I know, honey. But I'm here. We all are,” He gestures around before turning back, face more serious than Virgil had ever seen it, “We’re gonna take them back home where it's safe and we are going to make them stop. We are going to make them apologize for what they did.”

 

Virgil feels his breath slowing. He steps away slightly, chewing on his knuckles. “Okay. Okay. Let's do this.”

 

He glances out to the first people to offer him kindness. They nod. 

 

“So the plan is: quick, efficient, quiet. They have separate rooms, but usually spend most of their time in Janus’s. It's calming in the way of a white lie. I was brought there when I first appeared, before they found my room. Remus’s  causes headaches and hallucinations. He loves it. Used to threaten to take me in there. But I think Janus is scared of it.”

 

“Janus? Scared?”

 

“Roman, he's just as scared as you are when you go all heroic. The only way he gets validation is by scaring people. Like… I used to.”

 

“You're different than him, though.” Patton rests his hand on Virgil's shoulder. 

 

“Thank you,” Virgil takes a deep breath, “They will most likely be in Janus’s room, so we should head towards there. There’s a light in their main room, so we should extinguish ours. Once we grab them, Patton, you cast a bind on them immediately, no matter what they do. The rest of us will concentrate to keep it together and send them back.”

 

The other sides nod. Virgil turns, reaching towards the door. He closes his eyes.

 

Move fast enough you don’t think about it.

 

The door creaks. Virgil’s arm falls. He tries to remember to breathe. Virgil blows out the flame in his hand, nodding backwards at the others. The light is dim, but there. The structure in front of them is made up of two gray boxes, each with a door identical to the one they came through. The path towards them is covered in junk. Off to the right is an open trapdoor. There is a staircase leading down into the darkness. Virgil shivers, but looks back to the rooms. The one on the left has light coming from underneath the door. As expected, they’re both in Janus’s room.

 

Virgil steps forward. His leg threatens to give out. Virgil steadies himself, glancing to his side to see Roman, sword at the ready. Behind him, Patton and Logan stand guard. Each has a glowing light held in both hands. Virgil nods to them, reaching to open the door. 

 

As he leans in, he hears an unmistakable sound. Moans. He hesitates. 

 

If they're distracted, it will be easier to capture them. Then again, do I want that seared into my memory?

 

Fuck it.

 

“Roman, trade places with Patton. Patton, ready the bubble.”

 

“Why-?”

 

Virgil shoves the door open. Even knowing what he would see, he was still surprised. Remus sits on top of Janus, straddling him. He is in the midst of taking off his shirt, a pale green t-shirt with a darker green stripe across it. 

 

He wears it when he's too lazy to put on the full outfit. 

 

The sight of the shirt makes Virgil flinch. Most of his memories of Remus involve seeing that shirt, soaked with sweat after Remus ran through another series of confusing hallucinations and illusions, all trying to convince him to obey. 

 

The two sides begin to move. Slowly, something registers in Virgil’s brain. Janus is wearing a yellow binder.

 

For all the time he spent calling me fake… Saying I wasn't a real man. Didn't deserve kindness. He's trans too. 

 

Virgil’s racing thoughts are interrupted by a small pop sound. A blue bubble surrounds the two sides. Both scramble away from each other. Remus smacks his head on the barrier. Virgil suppresses a dark chuckle.

 

Virgil rubs his hands together, concentrating on conjuring a charm strong enough to send them all home. He looks behind him. Roman has his sword drawn. Logan has glowing light in both of his palms. Patton’s face is screwed in concentration

 

“Why? Why are you doing this?”

 

Virgil glares directly at Janus, shocked to see him sitting on the bottom of the bubble, arms around his knees. 

 

“Because. We need to talk.”

 

Black and purple flame bursts out from both his hands. Half wraps gently around the other sides, his friends. The other tendril wraps around the bubble. He feels it wrap around his own waist, warm, but not burning. 

 

Virgil takes a deep breath, gathering his strength. 

 

“Home.”

Chapter 14: Coming Home

Summary:

Virgil brings both the Dark Sides and his friends to where he considers home, but they hit a snag. Secrets are revealed. Apologies are sought. What can they do to prove they will change?

Notes:

SOOOO sorry it's been forever since I added to this. I lost motivation for a while with the whole dad dying mom stalking me thing, but college restarts soon and I needed a nonproductive task to distract me from that impending workload. Mostly angst and not sex due to it being the climax of the story. I promise I'll put in some smut/fluff after ;)

A loud pop sounds out as Virgil reappears, fiery ropes still stretching out before him. He takes a deep breath. They flicker and go out. Virgil looks around.
Patton’s room is bright, not too dissimilar to his own. The only difference is the posters on the walls, as well as the small piles of clothes and unfinished crafts on the ground. It usually feels so warm and inviting. Right now, it’s crowded.

What is happening? I tried to go the living room.

I tried to go home.

He’s my home. How am I just now realizing this?

Virgil blinks, trying to ground himself in the situation. Janus and Remus sit in an airtight ball in front of him. They struggle to get clothed. Janus is wearing Remus’s shirt, his hands crossed over his chest. He looks so small.

Remus, on the other hand, looks about ready to murder someone. His canines grow longer in front of their eyes.

He’s angry. Anger means I get hurt-

Not anymore.

“Why are you still hurting me?” The words come out rushed and unexpected. Virgil pushes his teeth into his fist. The pain is grounding.

“Darling, it’s okay. They can’t get out or use their powers.” The smell of bread and fresh flowers engulfs him. Patton reaches around from behind him, holding tight to his waist. He tries not to flinch.

He wants to help. Don’t snap at him.

Virgil steps forward, letting his hands fall to his sides. He notices that Janus’s eyes are red and watery. He tries to conjure up sympathy for him, but fails.

“Both of you hurt me deeply. You continue trying to weasel your way back into my life with seemingly the only goal of destroying my peace. Why can’t you accept that I got better?”

“That’s not what I was doing.”

“Well what were you doing? And why did you have to pretend to be my boyfriend to do it?! Why should I trust a word-”

“You were a child when it started. We all were. We did not know any better.”

“That’s not an excuse.”
“I know,” Janus nods, wiping his eyes with his elbow before returning them to the tight hold over his chest, “Thomas was the one who rejected each of us in turn. If he didn’t want us there, then why should we remind him of our existence. You made him feel things, even if he was not aware you were there. If he felt you, if he found out he was not as successful as he thought in locking us away…” He takes a deep breath, “I was scared of getting hurt. Again. Plus, you reminded me of myself. Your body. Your mannerisms…”

So you hurt me to the point I can only see you in the mirror?

Janus’s eyes are locked on the floor.

Virgil feels his fists unclench slightly.

“If we made you feel bad enough, it meant we wouldn’t get in trouble. You would hide. Like we were taught to do,” Janus reaches up, hand placed on the edge of the translucent ball holding him, “I should never have left you alone with him.”

Remus shoves him. Hard enough that he stumbles. “And what the fuck do you mean by that? You’re the one with all the fancy plans. I just did what you asked me. I was made to scare people. That’s my job-”

“And you don’t want to do anything more than that?”

“I’m not allowed to be more. I’m what he doesn’t want to see. I’m the voice telling him to eat that tasty rock before Logan comes in and reminds him that ‘Eating rocks is not beneficial to your enamel or to your digestive system’ or whatever the fuck.”

 

Remus no longer looks angry. He looks terrified. The scales on his face and right arm raise up and down in uneasy waves.

“Hurting you felt better than hurting me.”

Janus nods, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “I want you to forgive me, forgive both of us.”

Roman, who up until that point had been standing to the side, grimacing, jumps into action.

“You fuckers tortured him!” He leaps forward, but to his shock, Logan steps in front of him. His sword, half out of the hilt, clatters to the ground.

“Darling, you can’t get to them even if you wanted to. Patton’s bubble is more powerful than that sword and you both know it.”

“It’s not up to us to forgive them. They didn’t hurt us the way they hurt Virgil.” Patton’s hand slips into Virgil’s palm. It’s sweaty, but comfortingly warm.

“I- Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because every time one of us shows up, you assume it’s to cause chaos. “Every time we worked up the courage, someone would claim we were attempting to infiltrate you.”

Remus nods along to what Janus is saying. “Or try to stab us. Or both.” Roman nods stiffly at the accusation.

“I know from experience it's sometimes easier to play the villain. Healing takes time. It's not easy.”

Roman turns to the two boys, both still trapped in a blue-ish bubble. “Are you ready to stop being villains?” He turns to Virgil. “Do you want to forgive them?”

“No… not yet. I can't-” Virgil struggles not to crack his voice, “I don't trust them.”

He nods at Patton, who raises an eyebrow. He holds his hand out, moving it in a straight line from left to right. With a small pop, the bubble disappears. Janus and Remus tumble to the ground.

“I’m not ready to forgive you. I don't know if I'll ever be. You have to show me I can trust you. Don't come around without permission or any sort of warning. No shapeshifting either.”

Janus pouts slightly, but nods. “Can… we go home?”

The home you never made me feel welcome in?

“You can go.” Virgil nods to Roman, who presses with a little more force than normal on Remus’s back.

“I’m going to walk you two to the hallway. Don't look back. Walk quickly. Do not expect me to be cordial. Especially to you, Remus.”

The door snaps shut behind them. Logan glances over to Virgil. “I hope you know they may be manipulating you.”

“Yes. That's why I'm giving them time to prove themselves.”

“All right. I trust you know what you're doing?”

Virgil nods. “I've dealt with them much longer than you guys.”

Logan nods, then strides out the door. It shuts behind him.

Virgil limply sits down on the bed. He sighs.

Patton plops down next to him, wrapping his arms round Virgil’s shoulders. Virgil breathes his scent in. It's calming, familiar.

It's home.

“How was that?”

“I’m not sure. It hasn't processed.”

“Take your time.” Virgil lets himself relax into Patton’s arms, the smell enveloping him.

I’m home. No matter what happens, I’m home.