Chapter 1: “Sometimes bad guys make the best good guys”
Summary:
An intro to the crew via heist!
Title from Leverage title sequence
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Oni…annnnd…giri” The security room screens go black as they watch the lawyer type his personal passcode into his laptop. The electronic measures in the main vault go down and Nami is picking the manual lock in seconds while Zoro duplicates the frantic lawyer’s screen onto his own and begins downloading one incriminating file after another.
“You named your Trojan horse virus after rice balls?” Nami asks as the vault door swings open with a satisfying clunk. She runs her gloved hands lovingly over the jewelry cases displayed in the center before focusing on her actual assigned task. She’d make time to swipe a few when her job was done. The Goa Emerald necklace for sure. Maybe the teal sapphire earrings too, those didn’t have a history she knows of, but they would match so well with the flawless green collar. She considers outfits to wear them with while she empties the lockboxes along the walls of their valuables.
Zoro is about to give her a lesson in Japanese wordplay when Luffy chimes in over the open headset line.
“Obviously! It’s ‘cus they’ve got something hidden in the middle, like a Toe Jam Horse.” Overlapping voices correct him, but he barrels on, “Same as onigiri, you’re just expecting rice and BAM, you get balls.”
“Never disrespect perfectly good food with that kind of description again.” Sanji nags, just a little out of breath from taking down ten security guys to keep Nami’s path to the vault clear.
Nami finishes up her sweep. Thin papers slipped into a folder and tucked away with a few bars of precious metal in her large tote bag. Next followed carefully placed, individually wrapped, and very illegally acquired artifacts. Luckily, the vault was sparse enough for everything to fit in the roomy bag, else they would have had to come up with a more complicated plan. She ducks back out of the vault room, making sure her turtleneck collar covers the necklace and her hair is untucked to hide the green teardrop earrings. She blends in with the crowd moving through the main hall, herded by an authoritative yet harried-looking Usopp.
“Keep on moving people,” he shouts in an annoyed, professional manner. His clean but utilitarian clothes and tool-belt scream ‘blue collar manager’ and he shuffles lowly associates, tired paralegals, and affronted partners a towards the main exit.
“Just an unfortunate power outage” he explains to everyone and no one in particular, “we need you all to clear the building so my guys can get to the bottom of it.”
Nami is almost to the lobby when the mark himself strides into the fray, parting the crowd around him as people realize the big boss is out and on a rampage. She ducks into a corner, he knows her face from earlier in the con, he can’t see her masquerading as an office worker now. The man stalks up to Usopp.
“What is all this?!” He demands but immediately cuts off Usopp’s standard explanation “Never mind I need someone to come fix my computer now, this power outage did something to it.”
“I’m sorry sir no-can-do, computer repair is kind of out of my jurisdiction. Me and my guys are just here to clear the building and get the main wiring checked out” Usopp drawls.
“I don’t care what your ‘jurisdiction’ is you work for me! I’m the head partner here you idiot; don’t you realize that?”
“M…m..Mr. Khalador!” Usopp exclaims nervously “I’m s,sorry, sorry I didn’t recognize you sir!” He seems so nervous Nami is almost convinced even though she knows Usopp lies like most people blink. “I’m sorry sir, I really can’t help you, I need you to exit the building with everyone else”.
Mr. Khalador is clearly a man not used to hearing ‘no’ and is already on edge from the various ways they’d been fucking with him all week. He looks like a balloon animal twisted one too many times on the final fold. “You will come upstairs with me, and you will fix whatever is wrong with my laptop or you are fired!”
Usopp’s demeanor shifts from overwhelmed to resigned. “I’m really sorry sir but I honestly can’t help you” He drops into a carrying whisper no quieter than his speaking voice. “Truth is I’m not an electrician, it’s just standard evacuation practice to keep things calm and orderly. My team and I do gas lines, we have a report of a pretty major leak, and we need to get everyone out right away.”
Even over the din of so many people shuffling down the hall his voice clearly reaches the crowd, chaos erupting as people shove towards the exits, energized by fear. Nami slips into the rolling mass of people, shielded from Khalador’s sightline by the crowd. Out of the corner of her eye she sees him buffeted by people, absolutely red with rage. In her earpiece she hears Usopp turn smug. “Besides Mister, you couldn’t fire me if you wanted to. I’m union”
“I don’t give a damn! I’ll sink your whole union just for pissing me off” the man snarls.
“Well, I doubt you could, that’s kinda the whole point of a union see, makes it real hard to get rid of a worker without findin’ yourself without any gas maintenance.” Usopp is dripping in self-assured confidence now, though Nami knows him well enough to hear the buried nerves he hides so well during a confrontation.
She finally pushes out of the front doors, striding across the street. She feels more than sees Sanji fall in step with her, having snuck his way out of a service entrance in the chaos. He tugs on the strap of her tote bag, and she lets him take it, lugging gold bars could wear a girl out. Zoro is sprawled on a park bench, legs sticking obnoxiously out into the sidewalk. He’s scrolling on his phone idly with a laptop perched in his lap and a tablet resting precariously against his thigh. Luffy is balanced on the back of the bench, grinning at the growing crowd from under his ratty straw hat.
They all hear Usopp and Khalador in their ears, their grifter winding the lawyer tighter and tighter, ready to snap. You would almost feel bad for the man if he wasn’t responsible for defending guilty companies from wrongful termination, discrimination, and many, many union busting suits and paying off judges to win. All while cozying himself up to the labor party elites for good PR and favorable contracts.
“You think I can’t bury you?!” Khalador is practically yelling now “You think I can’t send one guy in and tear your whole pointless union apart?! I’m the boss! That means what I say goes and everyone who works for me shuts up and does what I say! That’s the way it’s meant to be! When I’m done with this city no one will even remember what a union is but a bunch of lazy, no good, out of job losers who don’t know how to play the game!”
Murmurs ripple through the crowd near the doors and amplify when a group in FBI jackets start making their way through the crowd, led by a younger man with cotton candy pink hair. They push their way through a confused barricade at the front door with a flash of badges and introducing themselves as the white-collar crimes division.
“Well, this has been a real great time Mr. Khalador but I really do need to go check out the pipes and all ya’ know?” Usopp starts towards a side exit but is unable to resist the rantings of the man furious at being ignored so he turns back around, eyeing the feds making their way into the lobby towards the hallway where he stands.
“Ya know, I’m not actually here right?” Khalador splutters in disbelief at the change in subject “there’s a gas leak man, you’re hallucinating. These are some really unsafe working conditions, you should call your union rep” and with that he turns and speedwalks away, just barely turning the corner before agents are there to drag Khalador out in cuffs. By the time Usopp is out of the alley and jogging over to the park he’s ditched the maintenance getup and is wearing running clothes and a dorky grin.
“Classic right? A little ghost of Christmas karma?” Nami and Sanji roll their eyes but Zoro chuckles and Luffy lets out a belly laugh. They all pile onto the bench, shoving and bickering, to watch as Special Agent Koby leads the crooked, ranting lawyer out in front of the whole company. He doesn’t look their way but smiles just a little when Luffy tips his hat in his direction. As the cop cars peel off, the crowds begin to disperse and Luffy leans back until he flips all the way over and off the bench. He claps his hands together.
“Great work everybody, that’s how you steal a union!”
Notes:
Let it be known I believe the Luffy of this universe definitely knows what a Trojan Horse is he's just dedicated to being annoying
Chapter 2: “The most honest person we know. But besides that, she’s okay”
Summary:
The results of last chapters con, and some one new needs the Straw Hat's help!
Notes:
Posting two chapters at once because I'll probably be too busy this week to edit and post the rest!
Chapter title from S2E12 "The Zanzibar Marketplace Job"
Chapter Text
Three days later, the middle of the afternoon finds the Straw Hats lounging in the closed Going Merry, the restaurant and bar they use as a front and to meet with clients. Luffy and Usopp are in the corner booth with Kaya, the girl who had brough Khalador to their attention. She was a sweet, quiet girl and Usopp’s childhood friend, having grown up on the nicer side of his same small Carolina town. Her parent’s had owned a shipping company before they died in a work accident while helping some employees. When Kaya had turned 21 the trust of the company fell in her direct control and she had discovered a plethora of worker’s rights violations covered up by the companies trusted lawyer, Khalador.
She had been all their friends for quite a while, even gifting them the space for Going Merry for free, since they had been dead broke during their first few jobs, living score to score on what they didn’t give away to the unfortunate people who needed their help. So, when she came to them for help of her own, they had jumped on the job before she’d even gotten the whole story out.
Now she was smiling and crying quietly, head resting on Usopp’s shoulder. Sad that so many people had suffered, including at her own company, but glad the nightmare was over. With the corruption revealed Kaya was leading the push to overturn bad verdicts and get retrials for those who deserved it. The money they’d stolen (after Nami had taken enough out to cover their expenses) would help support workers and their families pay for legal help and life expenses. The rest of the crew had accepted grateful hugs from Kaya before she went to sit in the booth and gave her privacy by carrying on their own conversations.
“It looks absolutely lovely on you Nami” Sanji cooed as she showed off her personal score, the intricate netting of green gems of the Goa Emerald necklace. “It complements your eyes so well!”
“Hmmm, but would it compliment Zoro’s hair better, that’s the question” she teases, holding the necklace up to his head. He bats her hands away but remains planted in his spot by the bar, not yet bothered enough to slink off to a corner.
“Fascinating history to this piece, really” Nami says when she’s done torturing Zoro with threats of ‘finding shades that match his complexion’. Some call her love of money and riches shallow, but no one knows valuables like Nami does. It’s a labor of love, knowing what a piece was worth with just a glance.
“Once a minor heirloom to the Goa Kingdom royal family, worth a good chunk but no more than your average royal rocks. Then it was stolen by pirates during a raid gone wrong over a decade ago, which ended in the mysterious death of one of the first heir, who was an enigmatic story unto himself. The intrigue around the necklace increased, why was this taken rather than other pieces? Did it have something to do with the boy’s disappearance? A rumor even cropped up that it was haunted by the restless spirit of the dead kid, with a whole story about loyalty and revenge. It popped up on the black market a few times, and changing hands so often gave it more of a reputation. It hasn’t been seen in three years, until now of course.”
Zoro’s eyes had glazed over at some point, and he turns back to his fiddling with the wires of his backup keyboard, it’s been lagging lately. Sanji is leaning on the bar, pausing in his detailed notes on recipes he’d been experimenting with to listen to Nami gush about the necklace’s history.
“The real question is,” she giggled as she secured it around her neck, “would Sabo be alright with me keeping it or should I hide it when he’s around in case he wants it back?”
“Oh, come on!” Zoro complains “way to bury the lede!” he considers “Steal something else that’s ironic and expensive and donate it to that charity he’s working for, then he’ll have to forgive you, even if you bore him to death with stories about it.”
“Just because you don’t care about culture and history doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t want to hear Nami’s expertise, you buffoon!” Sanji snaps back and the two are at it, bitching at each other about nitpicky details of the con and trading insults about each other’s existence in general. Nami tunes them out, noting that in all their pushy bickering, they never disturb the project the other is working on.
She flips the bar’s old TV to the meteorological channel, taking note of pressure readings and precipitation probability percentages. She’s been waiting for just the right conditions to crack the Fishman 1740 safe in that swanky historic hotel uptown, but the air pressure is rarely low enough while it’s cold outside to get the tumblers stiff enough to pop out without damage. She’s considering the possibility of a portable air conditioner setup when the bell above the restaurant door jingles.
Kaya is letting herself out but bumps directly into a willowy girl wearing a headscarf like an old movie starlet.
“I’m sorry!” the woman’s melodic voice carries into the bar.
“Oh no problem, I didn’t see you there!” Kaya says, “I should warn you though if you were headed in the restaurant doesn’t open ‘til five.” The woman sways on her feet a little, uncertain.
“Thank you, but I’m here to meet with a, um, a friend. I got the address from Laboon?” They all perk up at that. There is more than one way to find yourself at the Straw Hat’s door. Being a friend of a friend is one of them. Luffy had helped Laboon out of a tough place a while back. If he was sending this girl their way, they would definitely hear her out.
“Hey, come on in!” Luffy calls, bouncing up from the booth and ushering her in energetically. How he was so excitable right after a two week long job, the world may never know. Sanji was barely a beat behind, offering the girl drinks and snacks from behind the bar. She turns him down at first, then timidly asks for a glass of water and gets some concoction infused with lemon and mint for her troubles. When her stomach growls audibly she surrenders to Sanji’s onslaught of offers and accepts ‘whatever you have on hand’, which turns into a freshly made sandwich and salad, alongside one of his dessert experiments that he’d deemed edible.
After a few hesitant bites, then several enthusiastic ones and a kind compliment that leaves Sanji in a daze, the woman reaches up and removes her headscarf. A long blue ponytail tumbles over one shoulder, tied high on her head by a leather strap with a pendant like a peacock feather. Nami can’t hold back a gasp.
“Princess Vivi?!”
The heir to the throne of Alabasta smiles tiredly.
“Someone is trying to steal my country from its people. I hear you all can help me steal it back.”
Chapter 3: “If stealing a country were easy, everyone would do it”
Summary:
Vivi's situation is explained, plans are discussed, bickering (and scones) are had
Chapter Title from S3E16 “The San Lorenzo Job"
Notes:
I lied, here's another chapter bc I had the motivation to edit it after work! The next chapters aren't done being written yet though so it will be a little minute.
Chapter Text
Vivi hadn’t realized how easy chatting with a group of career criminals would be. She’s spent so long being always on edge that she can’t quite let it go, but the easy camaraderie of the Straw Hat crew is infectious. The blonde one-Sanji-offers her a plate of baked goods so pretty she takes one, even though he literally just served her lunch. It’s as delicious as it looks and she picks her way through it while chatting with Zoro-the hacker, apparently- offering him the plate of herb-filled scones. He glances at Sanji, ensuring he’s busy talking to Usopp (grifter, or in his own words, ‘immersive storyteller’), snatches two up and layers on savory cream topping from a little bowl. He slides one sneakily to Luffy, who is doing a poor job of hiding that he already stole one for himself.
“Thanks” Zoro says conspiratorially, “usually these are just for”, he puts on a snooty air, “guests and lovely ladies,” then snorts derisively, seemingly offended by the idea. She hardly considers herself a lovely lady these days, with how worn down even the best made clothes get after two years of hard travel.
“Well, this guest is happy to share. After all, us rare hair colors have to stick together, yeah?”
“Right, gotta look out for each other when you’re one in a million.”
Sanji snorts “I hardly think you can lump you in with someone as unique and wonderful as Vivi on hair color alone. In my experience the green hair gene always comes paired with being a meathead with no taste”
“Look man I didn’t say your first batch of weird biscuits were bad, I just don’t like sweets!”
“They were honey scones with rosemary citrus clotted cream and baked goods are for guests, you absolute…”
“Where’d you meet someone else with green hair Sanji?” Luffy cuts in “Zoro should fight them to be the ultimate green hair dude!”
“Untraceable location in the North Blue. Didn’t end well for anybody but I did learn how to properly prepare salt flat slug meat.”
“Okay, okay! All you idiots fire up your collective braincells, the one with a functional frontal cortex is speaking!” Nami calls out as she looks up from the papers she’s been sorting and pinning to their corkboard. She hesitates.
“Sorry Vivi, not you, you’re doing great and I’m sorry you have to deal with these grown ass children.” Vivi giggles over the general whining and Usopp’s complaints at being lumped in when he was minding his own business. Nami presses on with her prepared research.
“Sir Crocodile, aside from a flair for the dramatic, has connections all through the Alabasta economy and in local level politics. Makes a photo opp out of donating to popular local leaders, several companies with lots of jobs in working towns, real millionaire giving back kind of image. Clearly, he’s been trying to keep out of the royal family’s immediate circle. Never deals with politics above the providence level unless you count the fact that he has a long history with international law enforcement. He was mixed up in mafia activity as a teen, but supposedly sold out his network and went clean, claiming he was raised in a crime family but didn’t want to live that life anymore. The government doesn’t necessarily trust him, but he’s got the people on his side, they would need ironclad proof of a crime to arrest him without causing an international incident.”
She’s pinned up a picture of Sir Crocodile, with a list of his most important connections, both in and out of the law. Next to it she pins up a hand drawn chart.
“Thanks to Vivi and the work she’s been doing, we know that his legitimate connections aren’t his only network. In the criminal element he is known as Mr. Zero, the unseen face of an organization called ‘Baroque Works’. High powered criminals from all over the world make up his lieutenants and the group has fingers in just about every nasty pie you can think of. Drugs, weapons, state secrets, and especially assassination and political unrest. These people are suspected of being involved in 9 of the 10 most recent social and political upheavals worldwide. Baroque Works has enough money and connections from these schemes they could buy a country if Croc wanted to. It seems, though, he prefers to work behind the scenes. Their secrecy has, until now, been completely airtight. If it weren’t for her Highness managing to go undercover in their ranks, no one would know Mr. Zero and Sir Crocodile were the same person, or anything else about his organization.” She gestures at the chart she made with Vivi’s input. The princess speaks up at Nami’s nod.
“Everyone goes by codenames, the only ones we really need to worry about are the top 4 pairs. Men are numbered, women named after an important date, minus Mr. 2 Bon Clay, who covers both bases himself. Those 7 are in on the inner circle, they will know the plan for the coup and be the one’s carrying out the most important roles.”
“Besides the lieutenants we also have to worry about Croc himself and his right hand, Mrs. All-Sunday. They are both efficiently brutal and totally anonymous. We know basically nothing about Mrs. All-Sunday or what skills she has that put her so high on the ladder.”
Luffy has that faraway look he gets when he’s considering a con. It’s a rare moment of quiet and concentration, so opposite from his normal boundless energy. Vivi looks more tired than before but presses on.
“While he’s been setting himself up to be elected chairman of the constitutional court as Croc, as Mr. Zero he’s done about everything you can think of to undermine my father and his plans for a peaceful transition. Shady business to leave people unemployed and influencing lawmakers to cut the social safety net, encouraging reasonable dissident groups to violence, even poisoning the very land, and framing my father for greedy, unsafe industry practices!”
She’s fired up now, but she can’t help it, she’s going to make this man pay for what he’s done to her people. They all look on with sympathy, Nami pausing in pinning diagrams and logistics to the board to watch her with soft brown eyes that see a little too much. A weight settles on Vivi’s shoulder. It’s Luffy’s hand. He smiles gently at her and gives an understanding nod. It reassures her more than such a simple gesture should.
“His identity is his weakness” he says, “if the people know he is the one doing this they wouldn’t protect him. We get evidence of what he’s up to and then we expose him somewhere public, when he can’t come off as the good guy anymore. His image protects him. We ruin that we ruin him. And we do it before he gets himself elected. In a week and a half.”
His smile splits into a bone-chillingly devious grin “And then I kick his ass, just for bothering our friend Vivi!” The tension in the room breaks, and the team goes fluttering into a tizzy of ideas.
“Oh, you know what this sounds like?” Usopp sounds excited, “A Five Ton Hammer.”
“Ooh that would be a good one.” Nami agrees, “Oh but my dachshund guy’s on paternity leave right now”
“Can’t you do it with a Yorkie?” Zoro grunts. Nami sighs like a bull seeing red.
“No, you moron, that’s a Three Collar Circus, completely different con, you can’t expect a yorkie to carry the narrative weight of a dachshund when there’s an old lady involved!”
Sanji pipes in helpfully, while passing Nami a steaming teacup that he’s procured from God knows where, “I’ve got the stuff for a Microwave Lasagna, oh or! A Loose Change, I know a drag king in Memphis who would absolutely commit espionage, given the chance.”
Vivi cuts through their chatter.
“You people are just saying words at each other, right? No way any of this” she gestures at Nami and Zoro diagraming the difference between a dachshund and a yorkie and Usopp scrolling through Sanji’s Instagram feed for reference photos, “Is going to put my country back together? It’s hopeless!” And yet, she’s grinning along, swept up in their jabbering, feeling for the first time in a long time that she’s not alone, like there’s a light at the end of this tunnel.
For the first time in a long time, Vivi laughs.
Chapter 4: "I don't imagine. I plan"
Summary:
The con finally begins! Straw Hat Inc. incorperates themselves into the Rainbase Casino in order to scope out Sir Crocodile's organization and figure out how to expose his lies.
Chapter Title from "The Van Gogh Job"
Notes:
Some parts of this chapter flowed like water, some bit me in the ankle every time I tried to write. It was fun either way, hope y'all enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sanji surveys the carnage in front of him and despairs at industrial cooking. Sure, feeding a lot of people every day is its own sort of achievement, but the absolutely soul crushing mediocrity at the Rainbase Casino and Lodge was its own kind of hell. No wonder it had been so easy to get the head chef to jump ship with a little cash in hand and the promise of work at a tropical resort. He steels himself and tucks his reading glasses in his suit pocket.
“Alright everyone gather ‘round, shut up, morning meeting time let’s go! New head chef doesn’t mean shit when people still need to eat. I’m the boss now so everyone listens to me. I’ve got edits to your normal recipes at each station you pay attention to that or you do it again got it?”
“Yes…Chef?” the cooks murmur and shuffle to their stations, clearly unused to being treated as a kitchen rather than a production line. Sanji spends the morning going station to station correcting technique with all the patience he can manage, which is not much. If he’s going to earn enough trust to get information and credibility when the time is right, they have to like him at least a little. But good god barely half of these people even knew proper knife safety! He snaps at prep chef who clearly has more experience as a bus boy and wishes he had a minute to step out and smoke. Only a week and a half to whip this kitchen into shape wasn’t nearly enough. And he had to do his part to prevent this damn coup too. Sanji huffs, rolls up his sleeves, and joins the work bench, dicing carrots just slow enough for the others to watch and learn.
-----////-----////----
Zoro finishes dragging the desk and chair to the corner of the empty office space, having cleared out all the assorted junk the room had been used to store. Luffy, dressed head to toe like a workman to keep hidden, drills a plaque onto the door reading “IT Quick Response Floor Branch”. They rearrange some reasonably not broken chairs from the corner and scatter office supplies around the desk between the two monitor screens Zoro had brought in and his laptop hooked up to them. A potted plant and a wall clock round it out into the most typical soulless office space imaginable.
There’s a knock on the door frame. A harried looking woman with black hair held out of her face by a pair of rectangular glasses leans in through the open door.
“Hey, you’re the new IT guy, right?”
Zoro sighs. He really wishes there was some other job he could take on cons that didn’t involve filling in for overworked tech support employees.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“Oh perfect, because the tills at the poker bar are being super weird, I know computers so usually I can fix that sort of thing but there is something truly odd going on. It honestly looks like a system error and virus did a thesis project together. I grabbed some screenshots of the error codes if you want to take a look. Name’s Tashigi, by the way, I’m the day floor manager.”
Amid the non-stop chatter she had moved across the tiny office and leaned over his desk to look at his screen, then whipped out a tablet from her jacket to shove into his work area. Great just what he needs, a tech-savvy civvie with the same view on personal space as Luffy.
“Alright pass it over let me look.”
-----////-----////----
Usopp coughs loudly as he rounds the row of slot machines, startling Nami from her stary eyed daze. She’s exactly the kind of person to do well at a casino but also the kind of person to need someone to pull her back before she fleeced one too many suckers out of their money. He tugs subtly at the shimmering fabric of her dress that’s draped over her shoulder. She doesn’t even glance at him, but the lift of her chin tells him she knows it was him. Nami is approached by the first of likely many admiring patrons, letting herself be wined and dined to establish her backstory.
Usopp settles himself at a card table in the corner to survey the crowd and tosses down a wad of bills, calculated to be just slightly too high for the table's deal in. Alluring, but not suspiciously so. He hopes.
"What's a man got to do to get dealt into a good game here, boys"
The men at the table, all businessmen and wealthy working class by the look of them, laugh and welcome him in with a beer for his generous bet. The dealer adds him seamlessly into the next game.
Over the next two or three hours they scope out the crowd. It’s clear how totally Crocodile has integrated himself as a household name in Alabasta. Only a few indirect questions lead them both to hearing enthusiastic support for the man’s campaign and public works projects. Usopp, having introduced himself as Ealias Dorry, a rancher from out east here to relax after a good year, quickly finds himself invited to a more exclusive card game for the next night, in rooms where it’s rumored even Crocodile’s associates occasionally play.
Nami, all glamor and high society, gets herself taken in by a group of socialites. Between her newfound friend group (who know her as Lady Missy Pinwheild, a fellow lady-about-town from a small, politically insignificant, but wealthy island state) The two of them will keep eyes and ears on the guests of the casino while Sanji and Zoro use their invisibility as workers to poke around corners.
Usopp folds his hand with an easy laugh and good-natured cheers rise up around the card tables. Another perfectly balanced hand, showing off his undeniable card skills while also not leaving his new buddies feeling cheated. The trick to a good card game is, of course, telling a good story. Right now, Usopp is telling a story of good friends and good times. Money changing hands, but pockets not going empty. Between rounds of cards and rounds of drinks he hears stories of job shortages and crop shortages, as well as the rising hope with the upcoming elections and Sir Crocodile as a promising candidate.
It's going to be tough to expose information bad enough to shake these people’s faith.
Too bad for Sir Crocodile that Usopp’s never found a story he couldn’t sell.
-----////-----////----
Nami accepts a third glass of sparkling wine, having slowly and discretely disposed of her second. A good thief on the job never gets more than a little buzzed and Nami is more than good. She swipes a lovely tennis bracelet from her new friend Krystyn without thinking and spends the next ten minutes finding a way to put it back before the tipsy trust-fund kid notices.
"Oh my god, Missy! You have to come to the central market with us tomorrow! There are so many cute clothes shops!" Krystyn warbles as she drapes herself in Nami's arms. Nami finally manages to clip the sparkling cuff back on the girl's wrist as she giggles.
"Of course! Let's go in the morning, I only have a week and a half here and I want to see everything!"
Nami had seen the smaller markets on the way into the city with Vivi just yesterday. Shops well cared for but clearly suffering lack of funds and worn faces that weren't certain where next month’s products and sales would come from. The dressed-up center street market, on the other hand looked like nothing was or had ever been wrong in Alabasta. Shops full of in season food and drink. Beautiful flowing clothes made from light locally woven cloth. The owners of these shops tended more towards wealthy and influential, but most importantly all were vocal supporters of the winner of the upcoming election having immediate total executive power, and of that person being Sir Crocodile.
According to Vivi it was an open secret that Crocodile's supporters tended to succeed at life more than their peers the last few years. All Nami's rich new friends were either blowhards who rattled off basic talking points in favor of Sir Crocodile's humble campaign, or completely oblivious to what was at stake.
The girls drag her off to the unnecessarily opulent bathroom off the bar for a group refresh and chat and she giggles along with the rest, though it rings a little falser than usual. It makes her even more aware of how refreshing it is to have Vivi around, someone Nami can have a down-to-earth girl talk with without hiding the fact that she's a career criminal.
On her way out she swipes the wallet from the man in the group with the most vocal and grating opinions on politics. He owed her at least the generous supply of Berries in his pocket for the soulless half hour lecture on economics he had given her earlier.
She waves the bills around with a grin when the group finally wanders back into the bar area.
"Next round on me girls!"
-----////-----////----
Vivi watches the security feed Zoro had hacked and set up on a monitor for her, chewing at a hangnail as two figures enter the darkened back alley a few blocks from the Rainbase Casino. There were Straw Hats scattered in every corner of the legal side of things, but Crocodile’s operation was a well-oiled machine. They couldn’t rely on a slip up for evidence of the planned coup, they needed to dive into the underbelly of the organization too.
“Please be safe Luffy” she whispers, as if he can hear her through the screen.
“Don’t worry Vivi, I said I would kick Crocodile’s ass and I will” comes his cheerful reply. Vivi jumps. The earpiece they had given her was so small and light she keeps forgetting that she’s wearing it, and that its default setting is to actively transmit to the rest of the group.
“He’ll be fine” Zoro chimes in, “This is far from the first time Luffy’s entered an illegal fighting ring and this time he even has a doctor who can actually patch him up properly.”
“Shut the fuck up, Zoro, I’m barely out of residency!” coos the doctor in question, rubbing the back of his neck and turning so pink Vivi could see it on the security camera. Tony Tony Chopper had not been part of the crew when they boarded the plane to Alabasta, but a delayed flight, a long layover in Drum Kingdom, and the accidental discovery of a medical malpractice coverup scheme had changed that. It had been a whirlwind four hours that left Vivi wondering how long it would be before the Straw Hats collapsed the international crime community as it stands altogether. And maybe the World Government while they were at it.
Vivi had wanted to be the one to infiltrate the Baroque Works organization, but the others had convinced her the risk of being recognized was too high now that she was back in Alabasta. It was one thing, to spend every day undercover on missions for the organization on other islands as Miss Wednesday. Now she was home, and very soon she would be Princess Vivi again.
Nami had also explained to her that crime and personal feelings mixed like matches and gasoline. It was skating the edge of danger to care as deeply about success as the Straw Hat crew did, but a stake in the game as personal as Vivi's was a one-way ticket to the wrong side of a two-way mirror.
So, while the team wormed their way into enemy territory, Vivi was left to watch and wait for the right moment, keeping an eye out for rebel activity. If she can just sit down and talk with their leaders, she knows they can make peace.
She believes in the Straw Hats, as steep as the odds are, but before anything else she believes in her kingdom, and in her people.
Notes:
Maybe adding Chopper in a single paragraph is too quick, but I didn't want to break up the flow and focus of the story and I couldn't bare to leave him out entirely. Maybe I'll write a one or two shot story some other time with how Chopper joined the criminal underworld in an airport?
Chapter 5: "No stabbing Wednesdays, it's a new tradition"
Summary:
Last chapter the con for Alabasta began. This chapter the crew does their best to get dirt on Crocodile, but will they manage it in time?
Chapter title from S4E3 "The 15 Minutes Job"
Notes:
I'm back! Sorry for the delay real life stole all my ideas and motivation for a while. I promised myself I'd write this chapter today and I did! It's not perfect but I hit most of the points I wanted to and let some of the action scenes stay implied, I even thought of some new ideas about where to take the plot next. The beginning of the chapter especially is pretty dialogue heavy, heads up.
Hope you enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Luffy, your opponents are going to get more difficult from here on out” Chopper warns, shoving the green smoothie across the table for the third time. “Since you won so many rounds so quickly, they are moving you up into a higher bracket. Even the audience is more dangerous here. More money, more rivalries, more crime bosses.”
“Right, more chances we’ll be recognized.” Luffy slides the glass away again. “But also, more chances for us to get dirt on Croco-dork or kick his ass when its time. How’s everyone doing on info gathering?”
“My group’s a bust” Nami sighs, “but I did get them to introduce me to some local politician types, people looking to keep their comfy jobs in the upcoming elections. Haven’t learned much but I’ve planted a few seeds of the idea that they should hedge any bets on Crocodile.”
“And you were paid well for your time, I’m sure” says Zoro. Nami inspects the watch she’d snatched from an annoying police chief. Platinum inlays, no brand name, definitely above the pay grade. Taking bribes is against the law officer, I’ll have to keep this as evidence.
“I know my worth. How are things going in the trenches, Geek Squad?”
“Baroque Works doesn’t skimp on tech security; I’ve got no connection to use to access their shit from the main servers. They’re working from here though, the data load and power usage doesn’t lie, and it’s telling me there is way more going on here than what you need to run a casino. I’m going to have to find the actual servers if we want a chance to see the paper trail.”
“Get on that today, full permission to slack off in your cover if you need to.”
“Sure thing Captain” A beat of silence.
“Oi, Cook, you got nothing? This is usually where you say something stupid and cave-many about tech” Zoro huffs.
“Sanji’s…” Usopp trails off, “Sanji’s gone deep guys, I think dealing with the freezer mishap yesterday got to him.”
“Give me a number Usopp, one being the baking contest job and ten being the wedding job.” Usopp winces “Sorry boss, we’re looking at a solid school cafeteria job seven here.”
Nami hisses sympathetically through her teeth, Zoro groans and buries his face in his hands, Luffy shakes his head fondly.
“Hey, sorry to cut in but I’m new here” Vivi pipes up, “but, uh, what do we mean by ‘Sanji’s gone deep’ and why is it a problem?”
Chopper chimes in “Same here, do I need to be worried about this as a team member or as a medical professional?” He barely stops Luffy from dumping his nutritious smoothie down the sink and makes a show of adding chocolate powder while Usopp explains.
“Before the team Sanji was, well a lot of stuff, no one really knows his full backstory it seems like he doesn’t want to talk about it and that’s fine, we all have stuff we don’t like to talk about. I mean, the Faberge incident, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to…”
“Anyways” Nami cuts him off “Sanji was a chef when he joined up, like high level professional. Might have been partially a cover for meeting the kind of rich people who can hire a hitman, but the cooking may have even come before getting into the business.”
Luffy picks up explaining, possibly to avoid Chopper’s attempts to force feed him nasty liquid veggies the color of Zoro’s hair. “Sanji’s the best cook in the world! He takes it really serious. It’s great for getting into places and hiding out if someone is chasing us down, but sometimes he forgets he doesn’t actually work as a chef anymore.”
“He gets distracted because he’s a moron” Zoro grunts.
“Hey what’s all this chatter?” Sanji complains
“Sanji” Nami says “we were just talking about you”
“Oh Nami, you have no idea how much it warms my heart to hear you say that!!”
“We were just talking about how you’ve lost your damn mind.”
“Excuse me, you damn bread mold, what the hell could you...”
“Sanji, you’re here!” Luffy chirps “We’re just checking in, do you have anything new to report on you’re end?”
“It might not be anything, but we just got the catering details for the next week. Get this, Crocodile’s got events lined up all over the place, donor meetings, community event, lunches with anti-royal interest groups. Doesn’t have a damn thing lined up for the day of the election though. No staff lunch during the polls and vote counts. No mention of a possible celebration dinner after the vote. This is a guy who does everything right in the public eye, so what does he think is going to happen the day of the vote that’s more important than maintaining his good image?”
“I don’t know” Luffy murmurs, then snaps his fingers “It does tell us we gotta be ready the day before though. If he doesn’t plan on being Crocodile the day of the vote, you bet we’ll see Mr. Zero.”
“So we have less time than we thought!” Vivi frets
“There’s always less time than you think” Usopp sighs, “You get used to it.”
“Alright, we’ve got the basics, here’s what we’re gonna do. Usopp’s got access to all sorts of parts of the casino now because he got invited to some fancy games over the next few days. Zoro, use that to help you look around for the computer stuff while Usopp tries to see what his people know.”
“Nami, some of the guys you’ve met are coming to the fights today!” Chopper cries “be careful, that means they’re dangerous.”
“It means they are closer to Croc,” Luffy corrects “see what you can get from them and their stuff.”
“Sanji, you said you’re catering meetings, plant those bugs Zoro gave you. And don’t get too distracted. Also, if you can bring me some good food, please do that because Chopper is trying to poison me!”
“It’s just kale and spirulina Luffy, just because it’s green doesn’t make it poison!”
“Chopper and I have already talked to some fighters here who might know more about the top Baroque Works people, so we’re going to keep looking at that. Be careful everyone, Vivi’s people need us!”
“Aye captain!”
----////----////----
“Oh you are too funny!” Nami titters, reaching for a glass of wine on a server's tray to keep her hand occupied and safe from the old man’s grasp, “really, industrial farming on Long Ring Island, isn’t it just grasslands? What would grow there?”
“Ah darling, you see, environmental regulations are changing so quick these days, you never know when an area will become unprotected land, a savvy businessman has to be ready to act fast when the time comes. And with new technology these days, you can do amazing things, even change the environment of a whole island.”
Gods, when are these idiots going to stop admitting to corporate malpractice to impress a pretty young girl?
“Wow mister, that’s smart! Do you think they’ll do something like that here in Alabasta? It’s so hot and dry, I’m sure the people would appreciate it!”
“Well,” the man waves his hand airily, “under the current political climate these things are very slow. The monarchy is very protective of traditional Alabasta and the old ways. The leadership insists that the risks outweigh the rewards, but people are always slow to accept good things that will make too many waves. Who knows, with the elections in a few days, I’d say the next few years will bring many exciting changes here to Alabasta. Especially if Sir Crocodile is elected. Not many politicians are as open-minded to change as he is. When, or I supposed if, he’s elected, I’ll be the first in line to revive agriculture here in Alabasta!” He gives her a seedy wink, and she can tell that he’s bragging about something real.
“How exciting! “If you’ll excuse me a moment sir” Nami doesn’t bother with an excuse for leaving, just sauntered off, losing him in the crowd. Spotting a lively circle of card players, she works her way over, ditching the undrunk wine on another server’s tray. Under her breath she murmurs “You heard that right Zoro? Keep an eye out for environmental and agriculture stuff.”
“Yeah, I’ll keep an eye out” he whispers back.
“What was that?” Usopp drawls, breaking the slightly awkward silence between his new card buddies and the hacker while Zoro made a show of “fixing” the “faulty” sound system in the room they’d set up for more exclusive games. Usopp was rather proud of how he’d finessed one of the others into suggesting the new location, using his superior powers of suggestion. Zoro unclips the power disrupter Ussop had stuck on earlier and fiddles with the tablet he’d uselessly plugged into the sound system to look like he’d done a complicated fix. He plays a test track for a few seconds and makes a show of packing up his tool bag.
The card players give him good natured thanks as he shuffles out, making like he’s headed back down to his depressing office. With a performative look at the floor map by the elevators, he wanders vaguely in the direction of the bathroom before splitting off towards an inconspicuous hallway. Based on the data and power usage of the casino, this area practically seemed uninhabited. It could be some space that’s not worth the upkeep for lack of use, but considering how packed the rest of the casino is, it’s a contender for Baroque Works headquarters.
“Hello, Swordbody security system, what might you be doing in this totally normal, not at all important area of the building.”
“Is Zoro flirting with a keypad right now?” Vivi asks, earning giggles over the headsets.
“Oi, all of you can shut up!” Zoro grumps “I’m the guy who’s about to get us into the probably important room!” He’s already removed paneling and plugged in a thumb drive, a wireless USB plug, and his phone. Thirty seconds of tapping noises pass and the clunk of a lock echoes faintly.
“None of you can talk shit now, this is definitely it.”
“Awesome Zoro, get what you can!” Luffy cheers, “Sanji, you said the head tech guy is there at the lunch you’re catering yeah? Make sure he doesn’t leave early!”
“On it captain”
“No worries Luffy”
Zoro is already tapped into the server room, lost in the scrolling of code as he discretely chops at the data security, pulling out information as fast as he can without triggering any defense protocols.
He keeps typing, even as he hears the softest clack of practical heels on the tile behind him.
“So, are you Alabasta secret services or World Gov?” he asks without lifting his eyes from his screen.
“Officer Lieutenant Tashigi, cyber expert for the World Government National Security Criminal Investigation Unit.
And you are definitely a criminal.”
----////----////----
Sanji paces the prep area, assisting and correcting as the chefs plate up dessert and coffee for the head of staff lunch. Seems Crocodile is looking to keep the people running his legitimate business happy while he’s hands-off leading to the election. This lunch is a bit of a special occasion according to the kitchen staff. And it’s given the room of middle managers a bit of an ego.
“I’m s-sorry chef, I swear no one at the table asked for alterations to the meal” the poor waitress was on the edge of tears “I shouldn’t have talked back, but if he’d have asked for his coffee extra hot I would have remembered. I…”
“Mademoiselle, this isn’t your fault,” Sanji sooths, “you’ve never gotten an order wrong before, I believe you.” The girl looks so relived Sanji feels a rising anger at whomever was her boss before.
“I’ll fix it chef, don’t worry, give me just a minute to collect myself. The customer is always right, right?” she laughs wearily.
“The customer is almost always an ass.” The nearby waiters loading up trays fight to hide laughs. “It was the man with the horrible orange tie at table two yeah?” She nods. “Don’t worry about it darling, I’ll serve that table, none of you should have to deal with it.”
Gently prying her tray from trembling fingers, he shoos her towards the main kitchen to have a good scream and cry in the vegetable walk-in. He’d been looking for a chance to derail the IT chief since stupid Zoro had gone wandering upstairs. Exacting justice on the behalf of a sweet waitress with excellent front-of-house skills would just make the whole thing more enjoyable.
“Hello everyone, I’m the head chef here at Rainbase, how is the meal treating you, can I get you anything?” He dredges up his stiffest, falsest smile.
“Finally, someone competent,” the man with the stupid tie complains, “That waitress earlier couldn’t be bothered to remember an order. I asked her for an extra hot coffee and it came out like bathwater!”
“Yes, she informed me, here I had the chefs prepare one specially for you.” He plunks the mug down.
The man takes a sip. “This is ice cold you idiot!” he rages.
“I apologize sir, I figured with all your hot air, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.” Sanji spins on a heel to march back to the kitchen, deliberately knocking the tray under his arm into the mug, tipping cold, stale coffee down his front. He’d even managed to aim just right to ensure plenty spilled past the suitcoat down the front of the disgusting orange tie and white button up. Usopp would be proud.
The IT chief kicks up hell, but Sanji waits placidly, imagining the satisfying smoke break he’s about to take.
“I have meetings I need to be at soon!” the man shouts, “What am I supposed to do about this?!”
“Well sir, I’d suggest going home and getting a change of clothes for one. And more importantly, don’t be mean to my waitstaff.”
--//--
Out on a balcony Sanji watches the sun trace down toward the desert as he smokes. He wishes there was more he could do for Vivi. All week he’d been running interference for the others in their scramble to uncover something incriminating enough to take out Crocodile’s plan at the knees. They’d found a loose thread here and there, they were closing in, but they’re running out of time. And here Sanji was, no intel, just distractions. He stamps out his cigarette. “Well, fancy meeting you here,” a familiar voice drawls, “I thought the food tasted a little different lately. Why do I get the feeling this whole nasty business is about to get a lot more, iffy?”
----////----////----
“Alright everybody, meet up at the van in half an hour.” Luffy orders through the nasal sound of a possibly broken nose stuffed with cotton. Vivi watches Chopper patch up cuts on Luffy’s arm while he lectures worriedly about his complete lack of concern for personal safety.
Vivi was also trying very hard not to lecture Luffy for his upbeat attitude, considering the deadline to stop Crocodile before election day was three hours away (maybe more if you considered Croc might be human enough to need sleep, which Vivi didn’t entirely believe).
Nami slips into the van, unloading several valuables, four security access cards, and a bunch of folded papers from her clutch and various parts of her dress.
Usopp climbs in a few minutes later, handing Nami a wad of cash from his winnings. As far as Vivi could tell, every Straw Hat owed Nami some amount of debt, though Usopp seemed to rack up the least and was the most inclined to pay her back. It had warmed Vivi’s heart, when three nights ago she’d asked Nami to help braid her hair for bed and received a smile and a “Fine, but it’ll cost you” in return.
Sanji smells like cigarette smoke, coffee, and bread when he arrives, so strongly it fills the room like perfume. He reaches for his front pocket, but noises from Nami and Usopp have him pulling out a stick of gum from his suitcoat instead. He flops down on the bench along the side of the van, and Luffy pats his hair distractedly while Chopper packs away his first aid supplies.
Finally, Zoro clambers into the now crowded space. He shoves at Sanji’s non-slip shoes until there’s space on the bench and promptly sits on the floor instead. He’s got a distant stare that no one asks about. Luffy clears his throat.
“So, what are we working with?”
----////----////----
7am (12 hours before election results are released)
Vivi walks across the reception area with as much confidence as she can. Sweat pricks at her scalp under the short brunette wig and slides down her back under her long travel coat. Your average Alabasta citizen, tired and worried about the future. That part was at least genuine. She smiles at the receptionist. “Hello, I’d like to speak to Mr. Koza.”
She runs over the rebel code words the team gave her in her head. “I’m here to discuss the Little Garden construction contracts and I...”
“It’s alright,” the receptionist interrupts. Her smile is as even as her voice, but both are cold and empty. “You are right on schedule, come with me.” The woman stands, towering over Vivi. Her purple skirt swishes as she moves quickly around the desk and her strong grip takes Vivi’s arm.
“Right this way Princess, Mr. Zero will see you now.”
Notes:
Tbh the title for this chapter doesn't relate much but I couldn't pass up a quote with Wednesday in it when I haven't' had the chance to reference Ms. Wednesday yet!
Chapter 6: “Does that make us bad? It makes us, us”
Summary:
Confrontation with Sir Crocodile!
Notes:
Hey, remember when I said I would be on a two-to-three month hiatus with this story *checks watch* well over a year ago…oops.
Writer’s block got me and I wasn’t sure how to stick the landing. I’ve been writing in that time, but this fic eluded me til now. Also, I have a master’s degree now so that’s fun.
If you’ve been around, thank you for your patience! If you’re new, I’m glad you’re here!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
7:30 am (11 ½ hours before election results are released)
The clock ticks.
The three of them sit in silence.
Vivi falls back on her diplomatic training to sit still. She wants to cross her arms and glare. She wants to dive over the desk and slam her fist into his stupid face so hard his scar splits back open. She’s pretty sure it shows in her eyes.
“Princess, I do hope you know this isn’t personal.” Sir Crocodile chuckles as he drops another folder into his trashcan. It’s full to the top once again. For the third time Ms. All-Sunday , who Vivi is beating herself up for not recognizing, takes the bin to the stupid roaring fireplace and dumps the incriminating papers into the fire. “When business needs to get done, I do what it takes.”
“I can see how it isn’t personal to you,” she snips, “seeing as you don’t have a heart or a soul. But forgive me for finding the destruction of my country for profit difficult to accept.”
“Sentimentality,” Crocodile sweeps the last folder into the waste bin and sits back. He digs a cigar from his coat, “it’s what holds most of the world back.”
Vivi turns her head away in disgust. Her eyes fall on the television in the corner. It’s been on since she entered the room, muted and playing news of rallies and unrest across the nation. Inflammatory interviews, false information, completely understandable and totally misdirected anger. Everything she’s worked for and loved falling apart. In a different life, maybe she would have run away from it all. Boarded a bus or train or boat and chased some other dream.
Probably not though, Vivi is too stubborn to do anything but stand and fight.
The program on the television changes, breaking news from the palace. The volume stays off but the headline reads “King Cobra found in critical condition at palace. Status uncertain amid growing unrest.” The camera tracks a shaky camera shot of her father being taken away to the hospital, the front of his shirt crimson red around the bandages being held against him.
There’s a sob stuck somewhere in her throat. If she says anything she knows it will tear out of her. She glares at Crocodile instead, wishing there was anything he cared about enough for her to destroy. She’d tear him apart with her bare hands if it would make him suffer the way she was. Her country, her people, her own father, now he’d truly taken everything from her.
Another 15 minutes pass tortuously. Then there’s noise outside the door, pounding feet, and some shouting and voices layering one over the other. The door to Crocodile’s office bursts open, a gaggle of bodies tumbling through before slamming it shut again. Zoro’s green hair is instantly recognizable as he dashes to the digital lock pad. His fingers fly over the keyboard, causing something to beep and clunk ominously in the same instant that Sanji shatters a chair with a kick and shoves the stupid imported hardwood plank left behind through the door handles.
Security guards thud against the double-jammed door while the harried group collapses into one another in a moment of relief. Then Sir Crocodile clears his throat and the group straightens, flanking Vivi while managing to look distinctly casual scattered around her.
"Straw Hat Luffy, and company I presume. I didn't expect to cross paths with you again." Crocodile's slimy voice rekindles Vivi's anger, but Luffy just tilts his head."
"You're wrong about a lot of stuff, aren't you, Crocky?"
The room sits in tense silence for a long beat while the two glare at each other.
Vivi notices Miss. All-Sunday, no longer occupied with destroying evidence, leading against the fireplace with a sleek tablet in hand and a cryptic look in her eye. She's between the two groups, like she's ready to watch a tennis match.
With the flick of a match, Sir. Crocodile lights another one of his noxious cigars. "Is this the part where you fail to impress me with your clumsy maneuvering around my casino?"
“How do you beat a guy who’s prepared for any con?" Luffy counters.
“You don’t, you recognize you’re outclassed and walk away.”
“Wrong, you run so many cons they can’t keep up.” Crocodile rolls his eyes, tossing another paper into his trashcan, but Luffy keeps talking,
“See, Zoro’s been hacking away at your computers and stuff.”
“Your cybersecurity is shit by the way, only like, one tech put up an interesting fight and she turned out to be a WG plant. Also, like a hundred people fell for my phishing emails.”
“Wait since when was hacking the employees’ info part of the con?” Nami questions.
“It wasn’t I just wanted to see if it would work. And also funnel over two million dollars in offshore funds into my own account.”
“Fair” she shrugs, “You owe me 50% of that by the way”. Luffy giggles.
“Anyways, Nami and Usopp have been gambling with your best patrons, really pushing the limits on how much the casino can handle. And all of them, including Nami and Usopp, have been losing a suspicious amount under odd circumstances, almost like the house is playing more than the long game you’d expect. Almost like they’re getting scammed with no chance of winning. Which rich guys who bet shady money on big games hate”
“Do you have to tell him all our names?” Ussop complains. Nami pats him on the shoulder vaguely, also looking a bit uncomfortable. Crocodile’s eyes flick towards Miss. All-Sunday. She meets his eyes cooly over the tablet in her hands and nods once. It’s all true. He growls menacingly.
“You children clearly don’t understand how the world works. Money comes and goes, only fools chase money alone. As long as you have influence, you can get anything. You can’t touch me, much less hit me where it hurts.”
“Shut up, I’m not done. Sanji’s been undermining the loyalty of your staff and collecting evidence of wage theft and unsafe working conditions." Luffy wanders around the room while he talks, picking up and tossing aside probably priceless knickknacks on a whim. Sanji looks bored and stressed at the same time. He keeps checking his phone, getting closer and closer to combusting every time.
Miss All-Sunday glances down at her screen and her eyes widen ever so slightly.
“What?” Crocodile snaps
“It’s nothing, the pre-election polls are just closer than projected”
It’s not nothing, and Miss All-Sunday hasn’t been paying attention to the election scheme all day. Now she watches files popping up on shady corners of the internet containing solid evidence of financial and workplace malpractice in dozens of shell companies linked to both Mr. Zero and Sir Crocodile. Courtesy of one Bentham Bon Clay, amateur drag performer and professional spy.
----///---///----
5:45pm (25 hours and 15 minutes before election results are released)
“What the fuck are you doing here”
“Mon ami I’m afraid I’ve gotten quite caught up in some things I have to see through. Even if it seems we are on opposite sides, I hope you still consider us friends, Mr. Prince.”
Sanji sighs heavily, snuffing out his cigarette and standing straight.
“I don’t care what you’re up to; you’re working for that shitty crook right?”
“Is anything ever so simple as working for someone?” Bon Clay coos. They pull a compact mirror from their pocket and turn away, angling to catch the light of the sunset on their face. Sanji tries to stay ready but not tense. As much as they disagree on things like having a damn moral code, Sanji can admit Bon Clay has handed him his ass in a fight enough times that he won’t underestimate them.
“Oh, calm down we don’t have to fight.”
“We do while you’re destroying poor Vivi’s country!” He kicks low, but Bon Clay still manages to see it coming. He spins, pivoting on one foot. The other whips around, smacking into the shin Sanji raised just in time to avoid a devastating blow to the knee.Time blurs a little in the adrenaline of a tough fight. Bon Clay is impossible to pin down, switching between disciplines, from ballet to kickboxing, with the flick of a wrist. It doesn’t matter, Sanji has a job to do, so he can’t give up, not until the team has had a chance to do what needed to be done.
As the sun slips under the golden horizon, Bon Clay dodges away, balanced on the balcony railing.
“This has been fun darling, but I’m afraid I’ve done all I needed to do. Can’t risk this pretty face when I’ve finally proven my skills that would impress even the great Ivankov!”
Sanji lunges, hopping to set them off balance, but his heel cracks into the stone railing as Bon Clay skips to the side.
“Til next time!”
Sanji squints at the retreating figure. They’re up to no good, of course, but he doesn’t have the fucking time to deal with that right now, he’s got more shitty executives to piss off over dinner. He sighs and lights a cigarette. After only a drag he catches a whiff of burning tomato sauce. No rest for the fucking wicked, he supposes, as he stubs it out and stalks back inside to save dinner.
---///---///---
8am (11 hours before election results are released)
The information is damning, but not enough to sink a man with as many backup plans and escape routes as Sir Crocodile. Maybe he’d lose his current reputation, get cut off from some accounts and burn some bridges, but he’d come out fine in the end. Duping him on that level was impressive enough, he’d admit it himself, but surely these nobodies weren’t stupid enough to go up against him without something bulletproof? Just another piece of evidence that the world is populated with fools in need of direction. His keen awareness reminds him of the girl staring him down, glare as harsh as the desert sun. He grins just to mock her.
“And what ‘con’ has the beloved princess been running?” He huffs.
“Oh, Vivi is as honest as it gets. She wouldn’t run a scam on her own people, they’d see right through her, so we didn’t ask her too. You’ve been watching and waiting for her to make the final move this whole time, so you didn’t even notice us stealing out from under you! And it’s so easy because you’re stupid!”
The agitated little group of thieves start to settle (save for Zoro, who’s been resting casually against an overstuffed armchair since the last time he spoke) watching with growing glee as their captain runs his mouth at the deadliest man in the hemisphere, reading him like a book.
“You want power so badly, so you’ll never need other people again, but no one ever stops needing other people. Even if you think you don’t rely on anyone because you’d betray anyone, you still expect other people to work for you. That doesn’t make you strong.”
Crocodile stepped forward, towering over Luffy, who didn’t sway and inch, despite having to crane his neck to meet him eye-to-eye.
“It makes you weak”
Miss All-Sunday feels a pang somewhere between her ribs, so sharp and quick she glances around, counting heads to make sure no one snuck up on her with a knife.
“Us? We're strong. Since there’s one more con we needed to take you down, we decided to rely on someone else.”
“Oh, so you have more rats scuttering around? What’s your last little trick? Do tell.” Crocodile growls, patience thoroughly exhausted
Luffy cracks a grin so wide it makes Crocodile’s face hurt.
“You pulled off the last trick yourself”
Notes:
I've decided to break this bit up into 2 parts for flow and momentum, so the fic will now have 8 chapters, the last two of which are mostly written already! I'm also going to go in and edit some technical stuff across the fic to better fit the direction I've taken the last chapter when it's not the middle of the night but it'll literally be super minor.
QuietFangirl on Chapter 2 Mon 04 Mar 2024 06:56PM UTC
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litteroflit on Chapter 2 Mon 04 Mar 2024 07:27PM UTC
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FloH22 on Chapter 3 Thu 07 Mar 2024 12:59PM UTC
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