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Dear Mr Knightley,
We expect you promptly at five o’clock for dinner. I hope this is agreeable to you.
Regards,
Emma Woodhouse
Dear Emma,
Thank you for the kind offer, but given that I have received no prior warning of this occasion, you must excuse me if I beg off. I have a previous engagement.
Much appreciatively,
G. Knightley
Dear Mr Knightley,
What do you mean by no prior warning? Have you not dined with us each Wednesday for most of my life?
Much confused,
Emma Woodhouse
Dear Emma,
I have long ago learned not to assume anything when it comes to you. I find this is the safest course.
With fortitude,
G. Knightley
Dear Mr Knightley,
I know you take delight in teasing me. Therefore, I shall have to assume that this prior engagement you mentioned is nothing more than a meal with a tenant of yours and therefore easily cried off. I shall keep your place at the dinner table, as ever.
Yours patiently,
Emma
Dear Emma,
You have guessed correctly that I am to visit with the Martins tonight. I am sure they would welcome an extra guest if you would like to join us, since you seem so determined to dine with me this evening.
Steadfastly,
G. Knightley
Mr Knightley,
You know my father cannot take meals with strangers, and I shan’t leave him to dine alone. If you are determined not to join us, then I will be sure to send a leftover portion your way. This way it would not be too much of a sacrifice for you to dine with the Martins.
Benevolently,
Emma
Emma,
I appreciate your concern, but am sure your servants would find more need for the food than I. I assure you that the Martins always serve excellent meals. Now please stop running your messenger ragged and let me ready myself in peace.
Vainly,
G. Knightley
Mr Knightley,
Given that you are the least vain man I know, I must assume that you were teasing me again by implying that I am incapable of letting you enjoy your evening in peace, rather than it being a reference to the sartorial readying you mentioned. I am sending you this to assure you that I wish you a pleasant evening with the Martins.
Graciously,
Emma
Emma,
I may reward said graciousness with my presence after dinner. I will concede that your father stocks much nicer brandy than the Martin’s do. Please do not wait up too late for me, though. I don’t know how long my prior engagement will last.
Anticipatorily,
G. Knightley
Mr Knightley,
I knew you would come to your senses! Though I shall not tell my father of your intentions, in case his hopes may be dashed. The brandy is warming on the mantle for you.
Triumphantly,
Emma
Mr Knightley,
Thank you for your company last evening. Though the hour was later than my father may have liked, he did very much appreciate the companionship.
Your affectionate host,
Emma
Emma,
Just your father? I must admit I enjoyed our tete-a-tete about the importance of presenting oneself in the most fashionable way possible, once Mr. Woodhouse availed himself of his bed.
Hopefully,
G. Knightley
Mr Knightley,
I can see you are fishing for a compliment, and not with your usual elegance. Well, I shall oblige: I found your company most agreeable, and would be very amenable if you decided to come to supper tonight to make up for your absence the previous evening.
Generously,
Emma
Emma,
That is a kind offer. As I have no previous engagements this evening, I shall take you up on it. Shall I wear my best jacket, so as to impress my importance on you and yours?
Stylishly,
G. Knightley
Mr Knightley,
You do truly delight in twisting my words. You are well aware that I care naught for your sartorial choices. I only said that you should have worn a finer cut of coat to the Martin’s house to show them what true appreciation of the finer things can bring. You are well aware that you are a source of inspiration to your tenants, and should therefore be inspiring them in the right direction. Presenting oneself properly gets you further in life. Even you must agree with that statement.
Wear what you like tonight, as I am not inspired by you.
Exasperatedly,
Emma
Emma,
I am sorry to hear that. I will endeavour to be more inspiring to you in the future. For now, please expect me at five o’clock.
Disappointedly,
G. Knightley
Mr Knightley,
I am sorry if I have offended your delicate sensibilities. I shall serve your favourite stew tonight as recompense, and hang on to your every gem of a word.
Apologetically,
Emma
Emma,
You wouldn’t last past the first course, paying me so much attention. It is not in your nature to simper. Please note that for that I am eternally grateful.
I shall see you tonight promptly at five, when you can proceed to ignore me and my advice as per usual.
Forlornly,
G. Knightley
Mr Knightley,
I am highly offended. I am a much better actress than you credit me for. I pretend interest in people all the time and they are none the wiser.
I’ll prove it to you tonight.
Challengingly,
Emma
Emma,
Challenging is the correct word for you.
I shall look forward to your attempts to look interested when I bore you with tales of crop rotation and the unusually low lambs that were birthed this spring. I know you placed an embargo on such topics long ago, so I’m sure it will be very entertaining. For me.
Deviously,
G. Knightley
Emma,
I stand corrected. I was almost convinced that you were hanging on my every word last night. I am very impressed.
Yours contritely,
G. Knightley
Mr Knightley,
I am honest enough to confess that you animatedly telling tales of things you are passionate about was enough to keep my interest in your conversation. It is I who stand corrected.
Please do join us again soon. I will not hold you to the previous embargo.
Yours,
Emma
Emma,
I shall look forward to it.
With fondest regards,
G. Knightley