Chapter Text
2024
Liam was travelling around England, after travelling all around Europe, for a change. Honestly, he didn't know what to do with his life. Travelling takes a lot of his mind away from how miserable and in shambles his life actually is, with non-stop planning for flights and all the packings and what country to go next. It kept him busy.
His solo career wasn't as successful as that of the other members, he never had one song that had gone viral or famous like Zayn's or Harry's.
It's been what, 8 years? Since the band had gone on that long hiatus. Life never felt the same since. Maybe it was just him that held onto that one thread of memory when they were all together and all was good. But Zayn had felt out of distance, and the band never was the same after Zayn left. They all tried to live without it, all tried to be okay or at least pretend to be after Zayn, but Zayn was their brother. Years of being together, but somehow the band didn't help him fast enough, and Liam knew every one of them blamed themselves for Zayn's mental state at some point.
But they all moved on, Zayn faster than all of them. Already thriving with his solo career and making songs that broke past the top 10 in the music industry or whatever. Harry, a few years later, made his own solid rock with his fashion and music. Louis, done concerts and still having sold off tickets, and that one song with Bebe Rexha still played on radios from time to time. Niall was a little like Liam. He also had a hard time trying to adjust to living and singing without the boys. But Niall also moved on, maybe a little later than everyone else but he did.
And Liam's so proud of all of them.
But Liam. Liam. He never really thrived in that solo life. Wasn't as successful in his career after One Direction. He never really felt the spark anymore, his voice was still strong and still the same but his heart, the love towards music maybe depleted. He missed them, the constant mocking between Harry and Louis, with Niall just laughing everything off in the background. Zayn, always by his side, sighing when he did.
Everything was so good. Liam never thought they would end, Liam thought they were eternal.
Liam had seen the band as his brothers, but also he took care of them like their sons. Mischievous little boys they were, and Liam and Zayn were always the two that were more level-headed than all the others.
He kept jogging, and at some point he started running. Towards where he didn't know. Just like how his life had been. His life just felt like flesh and bones that was living, but his soul and mind was elsewhere. He didn't know what to achieve anymore, didn't have ambition, didn't know what to do. His love life was in shambles, and sure he had the urge to have sex once in a while but it was all usually one night stands. And honestly, he hasn't felt that need for sex like he used to before.
He didn't feel...anything. He felt empty.
So he ran, and ran, and ran, hoping that it would outrun the buzz in his mind that never stopped talking.
Then he stopped and looked around, he was out of breath and honestly for good reason. He had been running for 3 hours or something. He was surprised he hadn't fainted.
He started running around 3 am, since he couldn't really sleep –he hasn't been able to sleep lately– and so it's around 6 am almost 7, and the place was still quiet.
Some eople already woke up and rode on their bikes to go to work, and Liam could hear the shops opening by the clanks of the metal, the honking of cars could be heard from a far distance. But where he was running, it was still quiet.
So he started walking then, slowly. He knew this place, like a déjà vu of some sort.
Then he saw an out of place coffee shop in the middle of nowhere. Right, it's where the boys used to hang every morning when they were still starting off their early careers. Their apartment was not far from here, but last time Liam checked the apartment was destroyed to be a dog park, fortunately the coffee shop was still here.
Liam had a smile, a sincere one, as he looked at the small and quiet, oddly shaped cafe, and he wondered how long had he even felt a smile?
He walked to the coffee shop and yes, he was sweating but the shop was located near a park so Liam's sure the shop's used to sweaty people coming in.
He went in with a small nod, like an apology to no one particular because he's drenched in sweat and was welcomed with a jingle from the bell on the door and the cold air of the shop. He looked around, and the shop was quite empty with only two people sitting down with their headphones on and typing on their laptops. The place used to be very busy back then. That when the boys had gotten a lot of recognition around the world, they couldn't risk coming to it because it was busy and crowded all the time.
As he walked in, his eyes took in the familiar view and saw pictures of the boys when they were still teenagers hanging on the walls.
He walked to the front of the desk, and was greeted by a shocked teenage girl.
“Oh my god- you're Liam!” The girl half squeaked at the end of her sentence, and Liam could only give her a smile that he hoped it looked kind, at least.
Then an older looking woman pushed the girl away and took over.
“I'm so sorry, she's new.” The lady, Abbie, as Liam saw on her name tag said.
“Oh no, it's quite alright.” Liam said, as he smiled and gave a small wave to the girl still in shock standing besides Abbie. Liam continued, “Is Mr. Robbie still the owner of this shop?”
Mr. Robbie used to take care of the boys when they were lectured by Paul. Even at night, when the shop was supposed to close already, Mr. Robbie would still let them in around midnight just so they could have a place to stay even when they didn't buy anything. Though Niall always bought a bottle of water just to ease off the guilt. The place holds a lot of memories, and Liam was quite relieved seeing the place still the same as before. It still smelled the same as before.
“Oh, no...he passed away last year. But his daughter, June. Is taking over soon when she finishes high school.” Abbie replied. It was probably obvious, the look on Liam's face. Mr Robbie was a great man, like a father to the boys. Liam whispered a sorry to Abbie to which Abbie just replied, “He'll definitely be quite happy. Seeing you back here. Mr. Robbie never stopped talking about the 5 boys that would always come in at random times.” Abbie smiled at Liam, who only gave a small laugh.
“So, uh pardon me, what would you like?”
Liam pretended to look over the menu, even though the order is already on his mind.
“Just, plain old Iced Black Coffee please, give maybe a hint of sugar. Not too bitter.”
Abbie smiled and typed it in, and as Liam got his card out to pay- he was stopped by a sudden appearance of a man.
"You're getting old, Li. You used to order that awfully sweet caramel with extra sugar drink." That man said, voice heavy and deep.
Oh. He knew that voice all too well.
Liam looked to his side, as Zayn talked to Abbie and gave him his black card. “He's on me.” Zayn smiled at the girl. Abbie, though obviously shocked, remained professional.
“It's on the house.” Abbie said as she pushed away the card and gave it back to Zayn with a smile.
“Zayn?”
“In the flesh.” Zayn looked to his side, locking eyes with Liam.
“Wha- you look good, Zayn. It's been so long-” Liam was cut off by a sudden squeal from the same girl.
“Oh my GOD! That's- th- that is- what in the w-” Zayn and Liam were shocked, a little, and tilt their head to the girl.
“Brianna! Stop the squealing and make the drinks.” Abbie told her and Brianna took out her phone.
“Abbie, please- one picture with them?” Brianna, with all blue eyes, begged Abbie who just rolled her eyes and nodded.
“I- am a huge fan of One Direction I'm so- Can I have a picture?” She said, and Zayn just nodded as Liam muttered a small yes.
Zayn fought the urge to put his hands on Liam's waist, just like how Liam fought his urge to put his hands on Zayn's shoulder. It felt so familiar, so normal for them to do that yet so foreign. They weren't as close to each other anymore. They understood it clearly.
“Thank you!”
Liam smiled, Zayn probably did too but he was wearing a mask. Liam knew he was though, it had been years but Liam remembered the twinkle and crinkle of his eyes whenever he smiled. The small squint. He spent too much time looking at it 7 years ago, it was harder to forget than to remember.
“We missed you guys, you know? We all do. Do you mind if I post this on Instagram?”
Liam looked at Zayn, who was already looking at Liam. Fortunately, they still had that ability to read what's on their mind without speaking.
“Sure.”
The girl ran off, and Liam and Zayn found seats a little farther to the corner.
“How did y' find yourself here, Zayn?” Liam said shifting on his seat due to the uncomfortableness of his running jacket.
Zayn would never tell the truth. Zayn actually always passes by this shop whenever he drops by to London, hoping that one of the boys would come by and decide to take a trip down memory lane. They never appeared though, so Zayn never came in. But today was different, Zayn saw the familiar build of a man he used to never stop dreaming about. He still does, no matter how many times he tried to think it was just a random man in a dream. The arrow tattoo, he only knew one man who had them. That one man that made him stay longer in the band than he should be. Liam.
Finally,
One of the boys came.
“I was just passin' by and decided to come over, to take a trip down memory lane I guess. You?” The formality in his words were pretty much hurting Liam. They were so close then, but now it's like they're back to strangers.
“I was joggin' for like- 3 hours without knowin' where to go. And somehow ended up all the way to a new city and well, here I am. ” Liam said, smiling at Zayn. It's been a long time since Liam smiled because he wanted to, he always seemed to have to force one so he wouldn't offend anyone. But this time, it came naturally to him.
The girl came to give them their drinks, and Liam nodded a thanks to the girl.
“Mind if I take a picture of us? Post it in stories and tweet about it.” Zayn said quietly, blending in with the shop's quietness. Liam just laughed, “You want to give the fans a heart attack?” The younger man said and nodded, Zayn took that selfie and put his phone in his pocket. He'd post it later, he would need quite some time to think about a caption. Or maybe he won't.
“You're not going to?”
“Nah, one heart attack is enough, you menace.”
Zayn just laughed.
This is good. Liam thinks. Sure, it was awkward but at least they weren't on bad terms.
“You look healthy, Zayn. How are things goin' on? Good?”
“Yeah, great act-” Zayn's words were cut off as Zayn was looking at the back of Liam. People started coming into the shop, making noise.
They didn't even look at the time, time passed by so fast when they were talking they didn't realise the working people would start coming in.
Then Zayn started to take a further look, and Liam too, and realised they were fans. They had phones out, and Liam spotted one or two people with a camera. Paparazzis.
“Well, guess that's it for today. It's good to catch up with you, Zayn.” Liam stood up as he started to type in a number for a cab.
“Wait- here.” Zayn gave Liam a small note.
“My number- I changed it recently. Let's- catch up more. Text me.” Liam looked at the note, and back to Zayn who just smiled.
“Right.”
Then fans started to pull on Liam's sleeve.
“Can I have photos with you two?” The coffee was so noisy, the two people with their headphones on looked up to the crowd with annoyance in their eyes. Liam just looked at Abbie, and mouthed an apology.
Abbie just shook it off and smiled.
“Sorry- I have to go.” Liam said, smiling at the people.
Zayn followed at the back of Liam. The fans got their phones out and took photos of them.
Camera flashes followed them as they escaped the coffee shop, and Zayn covered the two of them with his leather coat.
“What are you two doing together?” “Will there be a reunion?” “Zayn!” “Liam, look here!”
“I forgot how annoying paparazzis were.” Liam whispered to Zayn as they ran to the road, where Liam's cab was waiting and Zayn's car was parked.
Zayn just laughed and said goodbye to Liam as they parted ways.
Liam looked at Zayn one last time, though Zayn was already running to his car.
Then people started knocking on the cab car. Liam just rolled his eyes and told the driver to start driving to his destination.
Liam didn't open his phone at all, knowing what the headlines of any articles would be. The notifications and DMs. He'd deal with that, maybe never.
But he did open his phone when he arrived at his home though, to add Zayn's number and text him a small “hi :) it's Liam.” Before shutting his phone down again.
Drowning himself on the bathtub, looking at the ceiling with nothing on his mind.
Liam just closed his eyes. While all this time he'd just see a blank black nothing. For the first time in a very long time, all he could think of and see were eyes in the shade of that awfully sweet caramel coffee he used to drink. The smile, the voice, that came with. But maybe he'd never stop thinking about it, after all.