Chapter Text
Homura doesn't sleep well. The vague struggle to keep her eyes open, to breathe makes her fear the oblivion of sleep. So she watches the door to the hospital room, hopeful that a nurse or nun will visit her. It's late, so the possibility is unlikely, but the world has not completely crushed her hope yet.
One might think a girl who'd spent so long bedridden, with little hope of recovery, would be seriously depressed. But Homura is thankful for everything she has, even if it might end prematurely. What better world could she imagine?
Homura hears something rasp across the floor. Her vision is dimmer than she thought, sleep approaching regardless of her preferences. But she doesn't want to miss a visitor.
The sound continues, but the door doesn't open. Maybe just someone walking by? But the sound is coming from one spot, not moving.
"Is someone there?"
"Oh." She hears a soft, feminine voice. "Shh, just go to sleep."
"Who are you?" Homura asks.
"Don't worry about that. Just get some rest, okay? You're going to need it."
"I'm scared I'll die in my sleep. I want to see the angel of death when he comes for me."
The voice mutters something, then says, "I promise you won't die tonight. Get some rest, okay?"
Homura attempts to nod, then closes her eyes. As the does, she glimpses feathered wings in the corner of the room.
Homura is reading on her bed. She'd convinced a visiting nun to leave her a book. It was a history book, concerning industrialization and its effects on Japan. Some might consider it too dull for a girl her age, but Homura was always fascinated by the mechanical. It had always been a part of her life, and she was curious about the hows and the why's of it.
As she reads, she gets the impression she is being watched. As subtly as a poorly socialized child can, she looks around the room and finds no one.
"Angel-san, are you here again?"
"How did you know I was here?"
"I felt like I was being watched."
"Sorry for disturbing your reading. I'll leave you alone now."
Homura does her best to shake her head. "No, you can stay. I prefer company to books."
"I don't think I'll make good company."
"Of course you will. Can I see you?"
"It's against the rules."
"I already saw you, when we first talked. When I was closing my eyes I saw some of your wings."
"Oh." The angel pauses long enough for Homura to fear she's left. "I guess you can see then."
A ball of wings reveals itself in the corner of her room. Four pink eyes peer from within, their gaze somehow comforting instead of intimidating.
"Can I see under the wings?"
The angel vibrates. "No, that's private Homura-chan," she says, suddenly shy.
"Oh. You don't look much like the pictures."
"Very few humans see angels. And we all look very different."
Homura tilts her head. "Does that mean I'm going to die soon, since I can see you?"
"Um, not all humans who see us are doomed. You might be a prophet or something like that."
"But in my case, I am going to die soon."
"I think you're a little too young to think about that kind of stuff. What's your book about?"
Homura puts her book down, anger making her movement forceful. "Angel-san, I don't mind dying. I've known I don't have long to live for as long as I can remember. Can you be honest with me?"
The angel's wings shake. "Well, it isn't fair you're going to die soon. You have so much potential!"
"That's very kind of you. But I don't think it's necessary to worry too much about me. I'm sure there's another girl out there who's going to do the things I could have."
"But you aren't going to do those things. You aren't going to see the Eiffel Tower or watch the dolphins go by. And that's a real loss to the world."
"Well, if I stay alive tomorrow, I can finish this book. That'll soften the loss, right?"
"I guess."
"When I finish this book, I should start another. But no one brings me good books."
"I shouldn't break the rules for you again."
Homura pouts. "Please, Angel-san. It would be good for me. When I'm alone, with my thoughts, it gets very dark in my head."
"I'll- I'll see what I can do."
"Homura-chan? Why did you stop reading?"
"Angel-san? You're here?"
"Oh sorry." The angel becomes visible.
"Hi. I just, didn't like the part I was reading and wanted to save it for later."
"Why?"
"It was, some statistical stuff about surgery survival rates and then I remembered my surgery tomorrow and got scared."
"Oh. I probably shouldn't have gotten you a book. I'm not very good at choosing books."
"Huh? You didn't get me this book, the nice doctor did."
"Nope! He would have gotten you 'Alice in Wonderland' but I moved some dust motes and he ended up seeing 'The History of Women in Medicine' first."
"Why couldn't you get me a book yourself?" Homura asks.
The angel vibrates. "That would break the rules! A lot! In a way that a seraphim might notice. I have to be subtle for you."
"Do angels have their own books?"
"Of course! I don't read as much as I should, but I know angels who read a lot."
"I'd like to read an angel's book."
"You shouldn't. Most of them aren't in Japanese, and all of them are dangerous for a human to read."
"If I'm going to die, I think I'd prefer to die by reading a forbidden book than by slowly winding down like I am."
The angel shifts. "I don't like when you talk about dying like that. I'm supposed to protect you, you know."
"I just want my death to mean something."
"Can you keep a secret?"
"Yeah."
"You'll be able to see the angel of death coming. When they get close to you, surprise attack them. It isn't against the rules and they'll tell the story to other angels for centuries."
"What if I die during the surgery?" Homura asks.
"Then I'll do it for you."
"Isn't that against the rules?"
"Yes. But your last wish is worth more than a millennium on chanting duty."
"... Am I going to die in the surgery?"
"I don't think you will. Your future has only gotten brighter since you first saw me, so I think you'll make it past tomorrow."
"My future can change?"
"It shouldn't. But sometimes a seraph or even an archangel decides on a future event, and that can cause ripples. You might have been buoyed for some higher purpose."
"If I get better, will you leave?"
"No," the angel says, wings relaxing. "I'm with you to the end, even if it's further away than I thought."
"That's good. Can you tell me a story? I don't want to think about the surgery."
"Um, okay. So a few years ago, we ended up with a few phones in heaven. An archangel of technology thought it was important. Some little girl, barely five, figured out our number and started calling us, asking for things. Since we thought only angels could call, we kept giving her whatever she asked for. This kept happening until she was fifteen or so, when-"
Homura drifts asleep with the comforting murmur of the angel's voice.