Chapter Text
"Well, that was a really funny story! Ranboo really traumatized you guys, didn't he?" Steph said, chuckling as Ranboo looked really sheepish. Tommy and Wilbur just stared with identical unamused expressions on their faces while Phil laughed.
"Yeah, Kristin couldn't even stay in the room once we found out just what the fucking final vote was, honestly."
Ranboo looked horrified at that, much to Kristin's amusement, profusely apologizing at that. Then, after both Kristin and Phil assured him that they were fine and he didn’t need to apologize for a job so well done, Tubbo interjected with;
"You should hear ours, man, it was wild, I'll tell you that much."
"Okay! I'd love to hear it, to be honest. It's so nice that you guys enjoyed it this much, honestly." Jacob said, grinning. Ranboo nodded fervently, honestly looking even happier than before.
"Dude, I have eyes, of course I fucking enjoyed it, even though it killed my feels at the end!"
May 24, 10:50 PM - At Aimsey's house
"Okay, does everyone have what we agreed to bring?! It's gonna start in 5 minutes so you guys'd better bring everything!" Aimsey yelled into her phone while Guqqie sat on the bed, practically vibrating with excitement. Serena wasn't any different either, and Aimee could understand both of them for she was incredibly excited too. This was Ranboo's biggest project yet after all, and they all had very high expectations.
"Yeah! We're coming but someone needs to help carry these things because Bill needs to get his insulin for a moment since he fucking forgot to all day, apparently." Freddie said. At this, Aimsey wasn't the only one who facepalmed. The other two also did so, especially when Bill protested with saying that he'd be okay to not get the insulin just yet since he ate enough.
"No, Billzo_, you are getting that fucking insulin! We don't know how long the episode will be, dumbass, better be safe than sorry! I'll get the bags from you guys now." Guqqie said, getting up and leaving hastily while Bill understood that the others were not going to budge from this and told them he'd do it once he arrived with a grumble.
"He really needs to take better care of himself." Corpse Husband's voice came out of Tubbo's Discord, connected to another Bluetooth speaker.
"Try telling him that and he'll brush you off. But we'll get that knucklehead to do that, whether he wants to or not, don't worry." Aimsey said, shaking his head.
And just as the stream started with a strange, portal like thing going with a trippy soundtrack in the background of it, Guqqie returned with Billzo, Freddie, Callum and Tubbo in tow, all of them carrying at least one plastic bag of snacks and drinks, filled to the brim.
"What is that?!"
"Dunno, this is interesting though." Serena said, shrugging as she kept her eyes on the screen. And when the screen finally changed, they saw a crystal ball and someone's hands "using" it, which amused all of them quite a lot. Especially when they heard Charlie's voice spouting the most cheesy lines they had ever heard. Then, after they voted for possibly the funniest and oddest things possible, making all of them snicker, even though Callum was incredibly confused, the screen slowly faded out and a slow, somber music started up while the screen now showed Ranboo, sprawled out in a weird position on a couch, seeming completely asleep to Aimsey but Freddie saw something;
"Guys, their hand!! It's tapping something!!"
"What does that even do!? What??" Bill said, frowning in confusion.
Aimsey looked closer only to realize with mixed emotions that Ranboo was tapping in the Morse Code she had taught him when he had requested to know out of curiosity. He tried to remember what it corresponded to but failed, filing it away in their brain for later analysis.
"I know that Morse Code..." Corpse suddenly said, frown obvious in his voice.
"What?! What does it mean then, Corpse?!" Tubbo asked, looking a little worried.
"It... It means SOS, if I remember correct."
"Wait, what?! Oh God, where the hell did he end up!?"
Then they saw Ranboo just shoot up from the couch, looking very disoriented and notice the incredibly cool looking mask on their face and weirdly, they tried to take it off, very inefficiently.
"That mask looks cool though! Why does he want to get it off?! And why did he even try like that, that won't do a thing!" Callum said, looking weirded out as Ranboo slowly started to get up and explore the room he was in in complete silence, almost frantically trying to open the doors to no avail and then notice a third door and when he opened it, everyone was shocked to see that their masked friends was now in a bright forest area.
"Whoa, what the--?! That is weird!!" Tubbo said, his eyebrows raised high in surprise.
"It's really fucking cool though, I'll give it that!" Guqqie said, impressed already. It was quite obvious to everyone present that Ranboo had spared no expenses with this whatsoever. Then, a weird, creepy cry came from right behind Ranboo, making him whirl around to show that the weird mask was connected by cables all around their neck and that made Billzo look quite concerned, not knowing what to make of that information. But he sure as hell did not think that was a good thing as he watched Ranboo retreat back to the house, seeming terrified. And while Ranboo was still looking around in confusion and probably fear, the camera panned to the urn on the small nightstand, making Freddie and Tubbo raise an eyebrow. That is, until the voting thing started with a green button that said "Haunt".
"Haunt!? Excuse me?! Are we fucking haunting them or something?!" Bill exclaimed, looking honestly disturbed by the thought even as Serena and Aimee clicked away at the button as the weird cries kept echoing.
"Seems so."
Ranboo mumbled something but none of them caught what it was and before they could even try to do so, a hand poked the urn with a pencil, causing it to fall over and shatter. And what was even odder was the fact that Ranboo didn't catch on until a full minute later and seemed a little hesitant to go near it almost. And as they approached the ashes, the group heard Ranboo say something under his breathe that both Freddie and Callum somehow missed.
"What'd he say??"
"I'll tell you later." Aimee said, smirking half-heartedly but the smirk fell from his face when he saw them touch the ashes and promptly have a mini panic attack, screaming "NO!" repeatedly while his mask started glowing with red lights.
"Daaaamn, that lights up?! Holy shit, that must've been a huge amount of work! Props to the costume department there!" Corpse said, whistling in surprise.
And then, Ranboo genuinely unnerved them by promptly starting to act like an NPC. Tubbo looked a little afraid at this, hating even the thought of his or any of his friends's autonomy taken from them because this was eerily like that right now. And then, as if trying to distract him and probably everyone else, an admittedly cute doodle character showed up on the bottom right corner, introducing themself as "Squiggles, the lovable mascot of Showfall Media".
"Dude, that thing is adorable!! Please tell me it's going to have merch!" Aimsey exclaimed, seeming not to have noticed much of anything about how convenient it was for them to show up when Ranboo was acting weirdly. And then, Ranboo surprisingly turned to the camera, pointed, and said with a slight frown;
"Hmm... That's a weird painting."
"Painting? What the fuck is he talking about?!" Freddie said, looking incredibly confused as Ranboo once again inspected the right door and the camera now showed that it was locked by three locks in blue, red and green from top to bottom. Then, as Ranboo wondered out loud about the whereabouts of the keys, the voting started once more in 4 places, the bookcase, the door, the coat hanger close to the door Ranboo was trying to open and the weird goat statue on the wall.
"What are we voting for, y'all? I say we vote for the door, to be honest. This place is really unnerving the fuck out of me right now." Bill said and Tubbo, along with Guqqie and Corpse agreed wholeheartedly. But sadly, bookcase won by a substantial amount, making Bill pout as Ranboo made his way over to it. And then, all of them burst into laughter as Ranboo was abruptly assaulted by books, crying out in pain and annoyance.
"Oof, whoever this entity is in the house, I don't think it likes them that much." Callum said, snorting. They all agreed with amusement, especially when Squiggles made a hilariously snarky comment while Ranboo got one of the 3 keys, putting it into his pocket.
"Cool! There's an inventory system to show he has that!" Guqqie exclaimed, really surprised.
"Dude, no wonder Ran was worried he was gonna go overbudget, the amount of fucking effort just in the first stream is insane already!" Callum said, looking really impressed still.
"That's how they roll all the time, to be fair, it's either all or nothing with them." Freddie pointed out as Ranboo rubbed his head while saying;
"Ow, my head... My God! Knowledge can be... painful."
Tubbo frowned at that a little bit, feeling like this line was foreshadowing in some way. But none of the others seemed to feel the same. Then, something that amused all of them happened;
"What the hell is he doing?! Why is he putting the urn's pieces back up?! It's not like it's gonna do much of anything to that poor sod anymore!" Bill said, laughing while Aimsey shook his head. Then, after a very amusing segment of that, Ranboo approached the window but didn't open the curtains, instead, they just leaned down to see something out of the camera angle while a strange, demon-like silhouette appeared in the window.
"Oh shit!! Ran, don't open that fucking window, run!!" Freddie exclaimed, alarmed immediately but Ranboo did the exact opposite and amusingly got jumpscared by the decidedly not-scary silhouette with a sort of cheesy lightning behind it.
"Pffft, only him, I swear... Dork." Corpse said, snickering as Ranboo ended up finding the second key in the window sill. Tubbo nodded with a chuckle as well and then, Ranboo leaned down to pick up a VHS tape.
"Maybe it's-Maybe it's somewhere here. Hmm... 'Doctor Jekyll, Mr. Hyde'? I mean, I don't-- Hydeing the key? No. Not there. Okay, that's... fine."
"That... is one of the worst puns I have ever fucking heard, this is a new low, even for them." Aimee deadpanned, shaking their head while Tubbo and Billzo just facepalmed. Callum and Freddie on the other hand were chuckling at just how bad it was with Corpse and Guqqie. Then, the voting started again but oddly, it was only the door now. They all looked at eachother slightly suspiciously even as they clicked furiously at the voting button. Then, as Ranboo approached the door and got close enough, the voting ended and Ranboo said with a shrug while slightly turned to the camera;
"Well... I mean, honestly, I might as well just leave."
"Fucking finally!! Does he realize that the place is fucking haunted?! And he calls Tommy bad, honestly." Tubbo said, looking very unamused up until Ranboo opened the door with a little struggling.
"What. The. Fuck?! Where the hell is he exactly?! This is not where they were before when they opened the door!!" Billzo exclaimed with shock as the others looked genuinely unnerved at the beach with the reddish-pink sky and the sea that looked more like blood than a normal sea.
"This is... really creepy... I don't like this..." Guqqie whispered, looking concerned for Ranboo now.
"Me neither, it looks... Uncanny, in the best terms I can put it."
"Nope, nope, nope... Pocket sand!" Ranboo took a handful of sand and promptly shoved it in his pocket, making everyone weirded out as he went back into the cabin, obviously deeming it safer than this odd beach.
"Okay, he's acting genuinely fucking weird. He's starting to fucking scare me." Tubbo said, frowning in worry and confusion.
"Alright. Got some sand in there now. But... Where could this last key be...?" Ranboo muttered as they went over to the nightstand and checked the drawer only to find nothing while Squiggles showed up again.
"'Pocket Sand is useful in almost any situation!'?? What the hell's that supposed to mean?! Maybe elaborate, you knock-off Jack Skellington?!" Guqqie said, making the others snort. Then, the votes started again, this time it being between the door and the coat hanger and coat hanger won this time despite Corpse and Callum voting for the door again.
"Oh dammit! I wanted to see if they had more scenes!!" Corpse muttered as Ranboo took the flute off of the hanger.
"Too bad! I doubt they have more anyways because those two were already a lot, if you ask me." Guqqie replied with a headshake.
"Wait, how the hell is he even gonna be able to play that? Is there a gap or something??" Freddie said, raising an eyebrow but soon he was answered by Ranboo actually putting the flute under their mask and blowing. The noise that came out of it though, made Tubbo cringe badly.
"Damn that flute needs tuning or some shit. That sound was so bad-- What the fuck?!"
Suddenly, there was a huge and very obviously a prop bat that was bright red dropped on Ranboo's head with a bat screech jumpscare and then, another bunch of them were thrown at him from above with Ranboo commenting on how sad they were, much to everyone's amusement. Even more so when Squiggles came out only to say;
"(Doot)?! And the fucking bats are still coming! That is amazing, holy fuck!" Tubbo said, laughing along with everyone else. Bill was on the ground, shaking with laughter now. Aimsey wasn't too far off either.
"How many bats are there in this ceiling?! How is this-How is this possible?!" Ranboo exclaimed in disbelief and then did something that made them incredibly weirded out.
"D-did he just fist that bat?! Oh GOD!!" Callum said, looking completely shocked. And then Ranboo picked up the last, red key from the ground.
"Finally, I got all the--"
"BOO, BITCH!!! See you found my cabin!!"
Tubbo had taken the wrong moment to take a sip from his coke and promptly choked at Charlie's entrance and the hilariously clueless look on Ranboo's face at that and the equally as funny expression Charlie was now sporting.
"Holy fuck! Imagine being in front of that door when Charlie kicked it down! That would hurt!" Freddie said, laughing as he thumped Tubbo's back.
"Geeze Louise!! Yeah! Fuck, God, I vape! A lot! Regularly."
"God, Charlie, please never fucking change, holy SHIT!! I can't with that shit!" Guqqie said, laughing her lungs out by this point.
"I know right?! That guy is hilarious!"
Then, as they bantered with eachother about the dead bats with hilarious words from both of them, Charlie happened to look over at the broken urn and seemingly got pissed, scaring Ranboo several times in an extremely cheesy manner that somehow looked really off. And this came right after the two of them trying to give one of the dead bats, which was apparently named "Richard", CPR, which Charlie somehow changed to "BPR".
"Am I the only one who thinks this is a bit weird? I mean, I really don't think Charlie would act like that if he genuinely wanted to scare someone. Or Ranboo, they would never be as startled as he looked just now at that normally... Something is... off... And I don't know what!" Tubbo said, honestly annoyed at himself for not being able to solve it.
"Absolutely! Something is just off, even I can see that and I don't know him that well, either of them." Corpse agreed, frowning as well.
And then, after Charlie demanded them to, Ranboo opened the door once more to this time find themself in somewhere that looked hellish.
"Oh... What the hell...?"
"Yeah, literally. There's a hundred different things you can get, you got Hell."
"Oh..."
"Is it... Christian Hell."
"WHAT?! Okay, that's a new one!" Callum said, snickering. The others were also shaking their heads with amusement at this. Then, when Ranboo pointed at something they were seeing and asked;
"What about that guy?"
"Yeah, that's uhhh... That's Bart."
"Oh."
"Yeah, he'll... Yeah, he'll vore you."
"VORE HIM?! Charlie what the fuck is in that vape you are doing?! What the FUCK?!" Bill exclaimed, looking extremely weirded out and a little terrified. Tubbo on the other hand, looked nauseous as hell at the thought. Then, as the scene progressed, Charlie said something that slightly upset them;
"So, I'm just gonna go. If you wanna stick around, that's totally cool. I'm just- They don't really like me that much. We sorta have a bit of a reputation, they kinda think I'm lame 'cause I'm the 'Slime Guy'."
"Oh fuck those demons! They can only HOPE to be as cool as Charlie!! At least he has a damn sense of humor instead of being a vorer!!" Aimee said, really pissed and amusingly, he got agreeing nods with everyone else.
"Watch out for the Hell Bat!"
"Is that a 3D model from fucking Skyrim!? God, I love this series already!" Callum said, snickering as Ranboo ducked in terror and then followed Charlie back into the cabin. But then, when Ranboo went inside, even though he was clearly right behind Charlie, the older was nowhere to be found.
"How'd you like Christian Hell, Dry Boy?!"
"Dry boy!! I think Charlie decided to be a fucking meme mine at this point and I'm here for it!" Tubbo said, snickering. The others agreed with that as well, all of them giggling. And this got even funnier with Ranboo's next sentence;
"I don't wanna get vored, man!!"
"Oh my God, I'm gonna make so many fucking edits with that sound clip alone, I love it!" Bill said through his laughter.
"Where'd you go?!"
"I'm in the- this- it's a house!! There's doorframes! How did you get inside!?"
"I don't know! I don't know how I got... Inside"
"You know, that's actually a fair question, how the fuck did he end up there, sprawled on the couch??" Freddie said, now thoughtful. They all agreed, trying to piece things together when Callum said;
"Maybe it's by that weird company, what was it, Snowfall Media? Oh no, Showfall! Maybe they're the reason?"
"Oh come on, why would they, I mean, they have such a cute and somewhat questionable mascot, they surely can't be bad, right?" Aimsey said, tilting his head a bit as they watched Ranboo make their way to the kitchen to find Charlie standing there.
"You never know, to be honest..."
"There were only 3 fake locks!"
"They were fake?!" Corpse exclaimed at the same time with Ranboo and somehow, he sounded far more surprised than the masked teen was and probably should have been. Especially when Charlie confirmed it and outright told him that he had hundreds more of them in the garage and he just preferred those colors.
"This is getting even weirder, what the shit?!" Bill said, honestly unnerved a bit.
"Why not just leave it open?"
"Yeah, that'd be a lot more convenient, I have to buy a new door every time I want to egress this room..."
"What the fuck does egress mean again???" Guqqie said, frowning in confusion at which Tubbo snorted. He was about to reply when Bill said;
"That means 'to leave a place', Guqqie. Come on, I'm the dyslexic one here, get up your fucking game, mate!"
"You just got told by a dyslexic person, Guqqie, how's that feel?" Tubbo snickered, getting a death glare from both the pink haired girl in question and Aimsey. They both shrunk a bit in their seats at the reaction and turned back to the screen just in time to see Ranboo go "WAAH!" at Charlie and the other actually got startled a bit.
"What?!?"
"Maybe I am haunting you."
At that, everyone burst into laughter, especially at how flustered Charlie got while demanding to never talk about that ever again.
"I may not have let you off easy. You killed all my bats, you took out my grandma a second time--"
"I didn't mean to do that, that wasn't me..."
"But I will tell you what, if you can do one thing for me..."
"Yeah."
"I will let you off, this goopy, goopy, slimy, sludgy hook you find yourself snared on."
"I don't like being snared..."
"Am I the only one of us that is getting very odd vibes from this? Like, Ran's acting calmer than he probably should be, to be honest. I would have been freaking out long before this point." Aimsey said, frowning a bit but she was relieved when there were a lot of agreements.
"But do you like being scared?"
"No..."
"Because I'm about to give you something you should be scared of."
"Do we want to know?? I'm getting concerned even more here, to be honest..." Freddie said, frowning.
"A cooking challenge."
"Okay, I know how this episode is gonna end now, the cabin is gonna be burned to the ground because this moron thinks Ran can cook. Or he's gonna get food poisoning and fucking die." Tubbo deadpanned, making Freddie and Bill nod fervently while Callum was quite concerned.
"Is he really that bad?"
"YES!!!" It was in unison.
"Don't try Ran's cooking unless you want a hospital trip, that's the golden rule around here, mate. God knows I have been there once or twice."
Callum looked even more concerned at this, mentally noting to never eat Ranboo's food. Then, Charlie said as he was tying the apron on Ranboo;
"You need to eat more slime, man."
"What?!"
"I agree, fucking what, Charlie?!" Tubbo said, looking extremely weirded out. And as the scene continued with Charlie being as odd as he possibly could and Ranboo somehow not questioning a damn thing, Bill started to feel the same as Tubbo, that there was something far worse than they were lead to believe. Then, Charlie told Ranboo that they would be let go if he managed to win Charlie's cooking challenge and pinky swore with them though Aimsey and Freddie saw that he was crossing his fingers behind.
"That FUCKER!! He's lying!!"
"So, uh, cooking... with what?!"
"With all- with all this. You've got everything you could ever need."
"Do you have something in... Okay, there's nothing in here!"
"Whooops, guess Charlie forgot to go to the grocery store before he got a guest. Welp, he can starve." Callum said, chuckling while everyone looked at him with surprise. And then, their expressions changed when they saw Ranboo sitting in a weird, confession-style room that was a very obvious nod to MasterChef and saying;
"Cook?! I don't know how to cook!!"
"...D-did he finally just admit that he CAN'T fucking cook?! Are pigs flying yet?!" Freddie asked, looking out of the window exaggeratedly. They all laughed, agreeing with the young man. But then, the scene stretched on a little awkwardly, making them look a little closer and see that Ranboo's stare was just... blank. Even after the comedic scene continued, Tubbo couldn't get that thought out of his head and it unnerved him so badly.
"A-am I the only one who thinks that there's something deeply wrong in this situation? I mean... I don't think they would admit the fact they can't cook so easily and willingly, he would normally defend himself vehemently about it. And that stare... I don't know if I like this..." Aimsey said, wrapping her arms around herself a bit. Then, Charlie happened to ask his name and Ranboo said;
"It's-it's Ranboo? Ranboo."
"Rumbus?"
"Ranboo!"
"Rumbus Grumbus?! My tummy's a little rumbus grumbus! So you'd better get on it!"
"Pffft, I am so renaming Charlie to Meme Factory in any group chat I'm gonna be in with him from now on. I don't care how fucking annoying it may be, this is funny!" Bill said with a snicker. That made everyone else snort as well. It was very accurate after all. Then, Charlie said something even funnier;
"Ghouls! Fetch me my dining seat!"
"Is he fucking acting like a king right now?! This is fucking hilarious, I swear to God!" Guqqie said, snorting a little bit.
"Remove the 7th door this week. A nice chair! I shall thoroughly soil it!"
"EWWW!! Charlie!!!" Guqqie and Aimee yelled at the same time while Freddie, Callum and Tubbo were giggling at the sheer insanity. Corpse on the other hand, just snorted. Then, after a few seconds of watching Ranboo struggle, there was a hilariously awkward cut of Charlie just sitting in the middle of the room, almost looking clueless while stating that it was good and back to Ranboo being absolutely clueless and then, there was another strange confession-style part with Charlie this time.
"How do I feel about this contestant? Same way I feel about everything, w e t."
"HE'S FEELING WHAT ABOUT RANBOO?! EXCUSE ME?!?!" Aimsey yelled, trying to look upset but failing miserably as Charlie actually said to Ranboo right after it;
"I gotta say, I'm feeling wet about you."
"WHAT?!"
"Exactly!! Where the fuck did that come from?! Charlie needs to make some explanation or something real quick!" Callum said, looking bewildered. The others were just shaking their heads with amusement though, as they were a little more accustomed to Charlie's oddities.
"Wait, you're feeling wet about-- Is that a good thing or a...?!"
"Of course, if you put the fork on the wrong side, you're going to the pit."
The entire group looked at eachother, both amused and slightly unnerved by the way Charlie had put it so incredibly bluntly. Something was still quite off but no one could put a finger on just what it was.
"How's it going in there?"
"It's not going well! I don't have any ingredients! I don't--"
"It's going well, you've lots of ingredients?"
"It's not going well, that's not what I said, I'm stirring a mushroom in a goddamn pot! This mushroom is rock solid!"
While Ranboo was struggling so badly and quite obviously at least a little intimidated, the camera cut to the doorway where they could see Charlie with a cute grin on his face, nodding.
"Awww, he looked so adorable there!" Guqqie said, smiling along with everyone else.
"Right?! Charlie can be so fucking cute even when he is being a damn gremlin."
"You got this. And if you don't--"
"What am I supposed to cook with, man!? I need something here!"
"Listen, check the fridge!"
"The fridge? But there's nothing in the-- What the-?!" Bill cut himself off when Ranboo opened the fridge to show a few things that had definitely not been there before, confused. They all were also confused and slightly disgusted at the choices that ranged from something called "Demon's lunch" to a weird, green goo inside a glass bowl. Then, after a few seconds of Ranboo being both confused and a little disgusted, Charlie asked;
"Bro, are you sassing me?!"
"No, I'm not sassing you, I don't- I don't know what's going on!"
"I will send you to a pocket dimension!"
"Dude, not again, I don't wanna be sent to another pocket dimension! I've had enough of those!"
"You know, that's honestly quite valid. I mean, those other two were so fucking eerie, honestly."
While the odd conversation continued, another vote started for them to choose which ingredients Ranboo would cook with. They looked at the choices and all of them were grossed out but that gave Tubbo an idea;
"We should vote for the most fucking disgusting shit in this! After all, if Charlie thinks he can troll Ran, we as the audience can do much worse. I mean, he's the one who has to eat that in the end, right?"
"Oh, I love that! Absolutely!! I'm voting for the "Slimy Guts" and the "Monster Boogers", y'all! You choose the things you want!" Guqqie said, giggling evilly. And they all chose what they wanted with "Slimy Guts" and "Demon Lunch" ending up as winners by the end.
"Guys? I'm gonna be honest, I hope we don't see Charlie having to go to the hospital after this episode to have his stomach pumped or something just because we were trying to be silly as chat..." Bill said, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish expression as the scene continued on, getting more and more ridiculous by the minute with Charlie continuously made vague threats at Ranboo to keep them on their toes.
"Yeah... I... didn't think of that one, not gonna lie. If there's another choice again, we should choose something less volatile, I think." Serena said, now sheepish as well. but then, Ranboo found something disgusted all of them in the paper bag that said "Demon Lunch;
"Is this a whole RAT?!"
"TIMOTHY! Did you find my rat?!"
"Yeah, there's a rat in here..."
"My rat! Where is it!?"
"It's uh... I'm pretty sure it's pretty flat, man."
"Oh, my baby! My little gummy baby! Yeaah..."
The group was very amused by Charlie's shenanigans as another awkward confessional roll came on with Ranboo this time. This made them all pause, especially after noticing how empty their eyes looked.
"Oh man, I wouldn't put it in my mouth."
"Pfft, that gesture to his mask! I can't blame him though, who the hell would want a rat in their mouth?!" Freddie said, shaking his head.
Well, it's a gummy but still. You're right on that one." Callum replied and chuckled uneasily. They all were not that fine about how strange and kind of eerie this entire situation really was.
"I'd put this in my mouth."
" I wouldn't, man!"
"EW!! I swear, it's going to be a fucking miracle if Charlie doesn't actually end up in the hospital after this, what the fuck?! This is so insane!" Bill said, honestly starting to worry about Charlie as they all watched him eat the weird gummy rat in his hand. And then, after Ranboo got even more grossed out by the "ingredients" he was cooking with, the group heard Charlie say;
"Don't talk back to- Oh! You have a knife. Alright, it's fine. I can die all the times I want."
The entire group looked confused and a little worried for Charlie.
"Are we sure he didn't hit his head or something? There's the dumbass YOLO challenges on Tiktok for a reason, my man!" Aimsey deadpanned, shaking his head. The others chuckled at that as yet another confessional roll of Ranboo came on who said;
"Oh man, I've only got a certain amount of time left, I gotta make the most of it."
"...Uhhh... How much time though??" Bill said, looking really confused.
They continued to make jokes about how Ranboo somehow had a unspecified time limit all of a sudden and this made all of the people slightly uncomfortable yet very amused at the same time.
"Now, I like my sandwiches beaten."
"What do you mean beaten?!"
"And tormented! That's my vibe! Say bad things and BEAT IT!"
"...Charlie is a bit of a nutcase in this, isn't he?" Corpse said, snorting a little. Then, Ranboo made an attempt to "torment" the sandwich by saying;
"I hate you... Gertrude!"
"Oh, you're naming it. Good."
"I hate it."
"Good. Call it a nickname, it doesn't look beaten enough to me."
"What is even...??"
"Splagebby! A Splagebby!"
"That's it, Charlie is the official meme factory of our group and no one can tell me otherwise." Bill said, shaking his head with a grin while Freddie and Aimsey were giggling a lot.
"It's a little weird but I like it." Callum said, smiling as well. They all nodded as well, giggles still erupting from time to time.
"You like splagebby?"
"I don't like spagebby, I'm gonna be honest..."
"Don't blame the man one bit, that thing looks disgusting." Freddie said, chuckling.
"I know!! Let's hope Charlie will be okay after this episode. I heard he has a lot of things in this, apparently."
"'Please I can't keep track of all these names'? You and me both, Squiggles, you and me both." Callum muttered. Then, another confessional roll started with Charlie, which they grinned at, Bill already looking like he wanted edits of whatever Charlie was about to say.
"Not what I would've done. I would've slimed it."
"Of course you would have." Guqqie snickered, still quite amused by Charlie's quirky attitude in this just like everyone in the room and in call.
"I don't even know how any of this is edible, man! I don't even know what you want from me!"
As Ranboo said this, Charlie was starting to throw the toy bats at Ranboo, with one landing in one of the bowls.
"Uhh, Charlie, don't throw bats into food bowls, please, we don't want another bullshit pandemic to happen, for the love of GOD!!" Bill said, looking disgusted as Charlie told Ranboo to return the bats to the food cycle.
"Yeaah, that... is not a good idea."
"Are you done with stirring? Check the fridge!"
"Okay. So what is... any of this?!"
"I second that, what the fuck?!" Bill said, nearly recoiling from the screen when he saw the weird materials on the screen.
"That, my friend, is called the ticket to ER for Charlie." Freddie said, looking absolutely disgusted as Ranboo asked something to Charlie;
"Is that just two cans of sausage?! Why do you just have two cans of sausage...? How does this fridge work?!"
"One for Ghoulio and one for Ghouliette, my two ghouls."
"He has ghouls?! Where are they then?!" Corpse said as they voted once more on the food, now carefully choosing the least painful looking things in the list. The vote came out as Spam sausages and the disgustingly named "Insect Carousel".
"I don't wanna cook with any of this, I don't know..."
"Yeeeah, cook with that!"
"I swear to GOD, Charlie, your hospital bills are gonna be horrific! US doesn't have mercy with hospital bills, mate!" Tubbo said, just shocked and honestly disturbed by how abnormal his friends were acting.
"And Squiggles is encouraging us, look at what they're saying! 'Good choices'?! I don't think we are supposed to eat bats or fucking insects! I don't trust Squiggles, at all." Corpse said, frowning. And after Charlie handed Ranboo a roller to hopefully make something out of the mess, another confessional rolled in, this time, it was Ranboo.
"You know, I don't really know how food keeps out of this fridge but I'm- I'm really glad it does."
"I feel like these guys had a lot of fun filming these weird ass b-roll type things, and it gives so much character to the show as well, honestly." Callum said, snorting a little bit. And Tubbo added;
"I agree but I can only imagine how many takes the team must've had, considering Charlie is a bit of a troll."
"Preach!! He's a comedic genius, honestly."
Then, they all burst into laughter again when they saw Squiggles say;
"Has this contestant cooked a single day in his life?" with a seemingly sad animation.
"Oh, he tried, Squiggles, he certainly did. To no avail." Freddie said, snickering. Tubbo laughed even louder at that.
"Have you checked everything in there?"
"W-what do you mean have I checked everything in there?!"
"I like herbs and spices!!"
"Oh Charlie, don't confuse the poor boy even more, you're already gonna be at the hospital tonight, don't make it worse for yourself!" Aimsey said, giggling.
"Damn, they must really suck if you think it's that bad." Corpse said, obvious surprise in his tone. And then, when Ranboo opened the bottom cabinet, there was suddenly a person who clanged some pots at them, making him startle and take a few steps back in abject terror.
"...Is that normal for Ranboo to get that badly startled over something like this?" Callum muttered, frowning but Aimsey said;
"I mean, I think it's kinda valid. I would be too."
"More like you would punch that poor sod in the face if that happened to you, Aims." Bill said, earning a glare from the shorter. The others tried to hide their snickers until Guqqie noticed that chat was thinking that it was Aimsey who scared Ranboo.
"Damn, the chatters think it's you, boi~! That's hilarious!"
"Pfft, yeah, it really is. Too bad it isn't, I would've known what happens otherwise..."
Then, another b-roll started, making them grin when they saw Charlie sitting there.
"Wowie zowie... That is something... bad."
At that, they all looked at eachother with slight frowns, not understanding what exactly was "bad". That was then, Callum noticed Squiggles say;
"Guys we didn't script that we don't know who that was"
"They don't know who that was?! What does that supposed to mean!?"
"Uh-oh, maybe someone snuck into the set?" Tubbo said, suddenly a little worried. But then, they saw Ranboo stuff the things in the pot into a blender, saying that he was going to turn it into a paste, to which Charlie said:
"You're turning it into a paste??"
"I'm trying to turn it into a paste man, cause I don't know?!"
"Are you making me a protein shake over there? Are you looking to give me a lifestyle change?! My life is over!"
"What the FUCK does he mean by that bullcrap now?! Charlie is literally in his prime!!"
"The character though? I dunno, we don't know much about this demonic slime after all."
"Let's hope for your sake it's wet enough for my palate."
"Just... Ew... Jeez, Charlie, just damn..."
"Yeeeaah."
"My God, it doesn't even work..."
"I want it to appeal to all of the different taste centers of my tongue. Do you know about those?!"
"What-what's taste centers?! What are you talking about?!"
"I think he's talking about the taste buds?? This is so odd mate..." Freddie muttered, frowning a little once more along with everyone.
"Maybe Charlie blanked on the word? Oh yeah, he did! But he only has slime for taste buds?? Just... ew, man... I will never get how he does this..."
Then, another b-roll started with Charlie who had a grin on his face. But everyone's smiles turned into looks of concern when Charlie kept saying the word slime with a look of growing fear on his face. And it continued on when the b-roll was over as well.
"We were right, there's something really sinister with this entire thing... What the hell is happening to Charlie?!"
"And Ranboo doesn't seem concerned either! This is weird, man!"
"You cut up my mushroom?!"
"Yeah!?"
"I've been cultivating this thing here, for 70 years!"
"Th-that was just sitting in the microwave!!"
"That's where it wanted to grow!! That's where it wanted to grow so it did!!"
At that, all of them started snickering, especially after seeing the entire thing with the ketchup packet. It was truly amusing to everyone but Tubbo still felt like they were missing something, especially after seeing Charlie's face while repeating the word "slime". Then, Charlie took a sniff of the Spam sausage and said;
"That's bad..."
"Uhh, I'm starting to seriously hope there's a medical person over there because if not, poor Charlie, honestly." Guqqie said, shaking her head as she looked a bit disgusted. Then, Ranboo went into the freezer and saw a huge gummy worm, making everyone look shocked.
"A Gummy worm?! Gimme!!" Aimsey said, giggling. Bill on the other hand, was a bit pale at the thought of too much sugar. Then, when Charlie told Ranboo to eat it before realizing that he had a mask on, everyone burst out laughing.
"I swear, Charlie is from another world when it comes to comedy. Pure chaos is his domain, I think." Bill said through his giggles. And after a very hilarious failure of a summoning, Charlie decided to throw an apple at Ranboo's face, saying that he is hungry and when he gets hungry he also got "the grumpies". Then, another weird B-roll happened with Ranboo pretty much detailing what he does when he cooks, making all of them look at eachother since it seemed that he was now more comfortable, weirdly enough. But when it cut back to the actual show, Ranboo was fending off Charlie throwing fruits at him with a frying pan.
"What the--?! What are they doing?!"
"I have no idea..."
"Pffft! He caught that!! That was kinda sick!" Freddie said, immensely amusedly. There were confirmations all over as they saw Ranboo go to the fridge once again and yell out;
"Oh my God! That's the biggest jar of pickles I've ever seen!!"
"And that is the weirdest thing to point out in there and I love it! Ranboo really did a great job so far."
After yet another weird debate with Charlie about the pickles and how Ranboo was going to use it, another voting started and they enthusiastically voted for pickles, just to be a troll to Charlie. And as another weird b-roll ended with Ranboo saying he hoped Charlie was a fair judge but he felt in danger, Tubbo frowned again, concerned. It was weird, Ranboo didn't seem to have recognized Charlie at all during all this. Let alone how Charlie was trying, albeit very much failing, to be threatening.
"Oh God, he's legit stuck to the chair!! I'm never letting him live that one down!!" Bill cried out with laughter as they watched Charlie try to crawl to Ranboo's side because he was very badly stuck to the floor.
"Uhhh... Did Ranboo just go to him with a fucking knife?!" Callum said, looking a bit pale and worried.
"Yeeah, he... really isn't the most attentive with that type of things when cooking..." Tubbo muttered, facepalming.
"Alright, he's never allowed to cook when I'm there, okay?! Holy fuck that's bad!"
Then, they saw Ranboo take out the weird concoction they'd helped him make and all of them were surprised to only see some kind of odd, slimy dish that did not look like what it went in as. They all were very confused but that slightly faded as they saw Charlie ask Ranboo to make airplane noises when he was being fed. And much to everyone's amusement, Ranboo did it. And then, Charlie brought him to the Slime Dimension, much to both Aimsey, Tubbo and Guqqie's absolutely disgusted looks.
"Ew... What the...?!"
"YEAH BABY!! This is what it's all about!! This is the Slime Dimension!! It's all slime, we got goo, we got gunk, we got sludge, we got ooze, holy shit we got it all. What do you think?"
"Ugh, this seems like a sticky situation."
"Oh my fucking GOD, that pun is the worst thing I've heard from them...! Just no." Guqqie said, faceplanting into the nearest pillow along with Aimsey who chose to just groan.
"I don't know which is worse, his cooking or his puns!" Corpse said, a little amused anyways.
"BOTH!!!" Was the answer from everyone else.
"Seems legit... Especially since Charlie just looked dead inside."
And when they turned their attention back to Ranboo on the screen, they saw him with an odd VHS tape in their hands, about to put it inside the player. That made everyone sober a bit in worry of a jumpscare. Especially since the mask was now flashing once again after such a long time and the intro theme had started again. Then, when he put it in, a silhouette of a person started talking to Ranboo with the screen now glitching.
"What the fuck?!?!"
"Shh!! Lore is coming and we've gotta eat! Like Charlie did!"
"Huh????"
"Hello? Oh my God, I got in! Listen, there's not much time. You don't realize what's going on yet you're doing well, they're entertained."
"W-w-what do you mean!?"
"Just keep going, okay? And don't resist."
"What?! Don't resist what?!"
"I'll be in touch again soon."
"Don't resist what?! What do you mean?! What is this place, where am I?! ...where am I...?! No, come on! This is...?! Hello?!"
When the TV turned off, there was an odd, soulless sounding commercial tune and a message from Showfall that said "Currently experiencing technical difficulties". This made everyone very uneasy. Looking at eachother, no one knew what to say until the commercial stuff ended and Ranboo shot up from the couch where he seemed to be unconscious again on and then, went to the odd basement place. Once they truly got in, shutting the door behind him, the group saw that the voting to explore began once again in 4 places, the general area of the toy pony, the weird shelf that had a huge skull on it, the shelf that Ranboo was the closest to and much to everyone's amused amazement, the small replica of Jerma's Dollhouse which all of them chose with a smile on their faces, making Ranboo find a padlock. And after a while, they heard someone else.
"Hold up, is that Sneeg?!"
"Yes!!! I knew he would be in there somewhere!" Bill said, grinning from ear to ear, though that grin faded slowly as he realized that Sneeg and Ranboo didn't act like they knew eachother and Sneeg constantly gave him shit while acting oddly affectionate to a plastic skeleton named Frank. Then, after an entire fight with a controlled Sneeg and a while of odd back and forth about a bolt cutter, Ranboo and Sneeg ended up finding the Slime Demon's bedroom, which surprised all of the group but when Ranboo went to sleep, things turned back into the comedy line with Charlie in the picture again.
"I swear, Charlie can make literally anything absolutely comedy gold. Even that horrific scene in Nightmare on Elm Street now, as it is." Bill said, shaking his head with a snicker. Then, after Sneeg gave even more shit to Ranboo for not realizing the wall above their head was cuttable because he had gone to sleep and cutting it while bitching about cages, they saw a huge, weird monster grab Sneeg and presumably kill him.
"WHAT THE FUCK?! What just happened?!" Aimsey yelled, looking absolutely horrified. Most of the others were speechless as well, to say the least.
"Dude, Sneeg's screaming ability is amazing, actually. That shocked me..."
"Did none of you notice something off though?! Ran... he didn't help! That's so weird, the Ran I know would never leave like that..."
Then, the monster came out and everyone started chuckling at how ineffective it was at trying to kill Ranboo as well, especially when Ranboo just hid in the box and used another one of his jackets to lure the monster into the cage its victim, Sneeg was inside of.
"There's irony and then there's that! Goddamn... Sneeg ends up in a cage whether alive or dead..."
"What kind of person would make that?!" They heard Ranboo say and much to everyone's amusement, Aimsey immediately came to the creature's defense.
"Don't you talk to my son that way, you hear, you utility pole?!"
"I'm telling him you called them that again."
And afterwards, Ranboo went to the other room that Sneeg had found and saw Charlie there, looking for a fight, in which the audience got to vote for what to do with various things in the room, which was quite amusing. Especially when Charlie called Ranboo a "magnum bitch", which got shrieks of laughter from Aimsey, Tubbo, Freddie and Bill.
"Charlie is something else, his humor is too funny..." Callum said, snorting still as Ranboo said;
"I guess time for me... to throw in the towel."
"Oh wait, you're giving up??"
"No!"
"Did he just throw that towel and miss?! Dude, there is not even 2 feet distance between them, what the fuck!?" Corpse said, laughing as Charlie was "dissolved" into the towel amidst gross sounds. Then, for some odd reason, the group saw Ranboo pick up the now gross, covered in green towel and then, the screen started glitching again, even Squiggles was now glitchy and hard to read. Ranboo's mask was also flickering as he made his way back to the TV while a really weird theme accompanied the scene. And as soon as Ranboo sat down in front of the TV, the man's silhouette came on once again, congratulating him on getting on "Episode 2" and finally introducing himself as "Hetch" before saying;
"You've just gotta keep going, alright? I'm trying to find a way to get you out of there."
"I absolutely do not fucking trust this man! I mean, not only is this guy in red, which, if you remember the weird ass video game Ran sent out before this started, was called "The Stranger", but his voice just rubs me the wrong damn way, I dunno..." Tubbo said, worried as Ranboo finally made his way out of the door again after yet another few cryptic words from this character, and promptly got jumped on and sedated, ending the episode right there, much to everyone's shock.
"What the?!?! You CAN'T just end there, you asshole!!!"
"It seems like he can... Who's gonna call them to congratulate for a great job??" Guqqie said with a grin and a shake of her head.
"I will!! I'll put it to speakerphone too so we all can do it at the same time!" Aimsey said, already dialling the number. But for some reason, Sneeg was the one to reply.
"Hey Aims! I don't think Ran can talk right now, considering he's in the ER room currently."
"WHAT?! What HAPPENED?! Is Charlie alright?! We didn't think he'd eat that thing when we were voting!" Aimsey said, sharing a guilty and horrified look with everyone. But what Sneeg said made them concerned and Tubbo immediately did what the older streamer asked only to be shocked;
"WHAT THE FUCK!? What do you mean Ranboo's mask had a fucking failure and burned him?!"
"WHAT?! If he's there, tell him I'm going to fucking clart his ass!! But honestly, you guys did an amazing job, congrats!" Bill said in horror at first which turned genuine at the end. At that, Sneeg just laughed and thanked him before telling that he would talk to Ranboo about this. Afterwards of them hanging up, Tubbo shook his head, knowing how much this show meant to Ranboo but still feeling like the taller was an idiot. And then, they all went to sleep, not knowing what was about to happen in the next episode.