Chapter Text
"Again!" The sharp voice jars my concentration as I remain prone in my position. A disc goes flying into the air, carefully inhale, slow exhale, fire. My shot grazed the disc but didn't destroy it. "You useless Clone!" A sharp slap jerks my head forward and throws my glasses off my face. I say nothing and let the instructor storm off before grabbing my glasses and beginning the disassemble and cleaning process of my rifle. The arena lights flash and start dimming around me. "Oh no.. someone's starting a simulation and I'm still in here!" I hiss quietly. Peeking over the edge of my vantage point, I watch as a completely different crew of clones run in with their firearms out. My eyes widen as I recognize who they are. Clone Force 99. Regardless of how hard I strain, I can't make out any of the instructions being shouted out by presumably the leader but instead watch with awe and admiration as the team splits up, each knowing and owning their part to play in the mock battle. Anxiety settles in my stomach as the tall lithe one of the group makes way toward my vantage point and I start scrambling to collect my gear. Throwing my rifle over my shoulder, I haphazardly toss my bullets into a small pouch that magnetically attaches to my belt and dart around the edge of the column just as the clone reaches the top of the platform. Nervously I hold my breath and wait for the cursed simulation to be over. His footsteps hit the top of the platform, they come really close to me and I hope he hasn't realized I'm up here yet. He pauses before moving away and getting set up and lying flat on his stomach. As silently as I can I start to creep back around the column toward the ladder as the sniper fires off shots, timing my steps for when the boom echoes to cover any sound I'm making. I'm almost home free when I feel a cold muzzle press against the back of my head. "And just what do you think your doing?" Shit. The scathing voice coming from this sniper clone gives little comfort. Twisting around I hold hands up. "I'm-I'm-I'm.." Snorting derisively, the clone gets in my face. "Listen to yourself I'm-I'm-I'm, stammering like a useless fool. How pathetic. Fucking Reg." I can't make out his face behind his mask but I know he's pissed. "I got caught up here.. I'm sorry Sir." He rotates his wrist and a holo pops up of a clock. "It's 1900. The last session finished at 1845, not my fault you can't clear out in a timely manner. And I can't believe that stuck a stupid mutt like you with a rifle. Hand it over." Shaking my head obstinately I clutch my rifle to my chest. "I have to return it or-" "Hand. It. Over. Now." He snarls viciously. With trembling hands I offer it to him and he rips it away from me before flinging it to the floor below. It clatters to the floor loudly. I'm surely gonna get beaten now. "And get the fuck off my ledge." Glancing down at the other clones shooting I wince. "But the door isn't going to open until the sessions over!" I fret anxiously. The clone lets out a cold laugh in between shots. "Not my problem, you can either go down your way or mine." Quickly to avoid further conflict, I start scaling the ladder down to the locked door while trying to avoid any blaster fire that rebounds my way. I see the rifle lying near the center of the room and inwardly scream as I know I have to go retrieve it. Darting into the smoke I slide to a stop at the first barrier and quickly glance around before sprinting for the next barrier. A blaster shot hits the ground right in front of me and I whip my head to look up at the sniper clone who is aggressively pointing toward the exit. Shrugging uselessly I proceed forward as his attention is drawn back into the fray. I'm almost to my rifle when an attack droid notices my presence and turns it's guns on me. The rest of clone force 99 clues into an unauthorized presence and bursts into action to try and save me from getting shot. Crouching on the floor I press my back into the barrier in an attempt to disappear as it stomps toward me. I hear a wild yell for me to move and I find that I just can't. I would be free from my punishments. It would definitely beat getting beaten up all the time for my mistakes. A single blaster shot lands right between the droids eyes. It feels like everything is slowed down as the droids eyes slowly stop glowing and he starts falling forward to inevitably crush me. I go from crouching terrified to moving at insane speeds in a set of massive arms. Everything speeds back up and I finally hear the clone who's holding me yelling at me. "Are you okay!?" "Yes!" He slows to a stop and lets me go. I'm barely on the ground two seconds when I'm getting whipped around and a gloved hand is angrily in my face. "You could have gotten killed you stupid Reg!" It's the sniper from before. He shoves me to the ground. "Useless. Fucking. Regs!" He growls the last word so venomously I flinch. "Hey!" The big one rips off his helmet and shoves the sniper away from me. "Enough Crosshair!" The other two also yank off their helmets and run toward the big guy and myself. "Wrecker! Where's the clone?" I raise my hand from the ground. Their eyes drop to where I'm sitting. "H-hi." My short hair and binded chest often has me mistaken for a male clone. Which I don't mind at times. The leader walks over to me and offers me his hand. "Sorry about that brother, Crosshair, is a bit of an asshole at times." Letting my fingers curl around the edge of his hand, he pulls me to my feet. "I'm Hunter by the way, that big goof is Wrecker, over there is Tech and Echo." I nod cautiously not sure if I'm gonna get reamed out or not. "Clone M-8800." I offer by way of name. They look at me confused. "You don't have a nickname or normie name?" I shake my head. "Nobody ever asks for my name. Nor has bothered to give me one." Crosshair stalks back over to listen in after having a moment to pull off his helmet and cool down. "Pretty short for a reg huh?" Murmurs Tech as he looks me over. "Yeah.. must have been a mutation or something." I mumble self consciously. The average clone was 6ft and I was short at a measly 5'5". Crosshair scoffs but doesn't make any other comment. "Come join us in the mess hall." Offers Hunter. I quickly shake my head and awkwardly hold up my rifle. "I have to return this and check in with my commander." He cocks his head at me. "Who's your commander?" My shoulders haunch as I hug the rifle tightly to me. "Tarkin sir." They stiffen up around me and back up slightly. "You best be on your way then." Urges Echo. I nod and exit the simulation room. I replace the fractured rifle and quickly head to Tarkin's office for my punishment. I knock on the door and it silently opens which is never a good thing. He turns from the window and points to the bench wordlessly. A long black whip curled up in his hand already. I slowly peel off my uniform and undo my chest wrap. I still have some tape covering my breasts so I'm not fully baring my chest to him. Kneeling on the bench I interlock my fingers behind my head and bare my back to him. There wasn't an untouched bit of skin on my back, crisscrossing healed whip marks and dark red recent ones cover my back. My own act of defiance and relief showed on my forearms. From elbow to wrist was a similar situation to my back that was done both deeper and with a razor blade. He never bothered to notice or care. The bull whip cracks and I feel it's tail split my back open. I bite back a scream a force my tears not to fall. "You made a mockery of my lieutenant!" "I'm sorry Admiral Sir." Snap "I failed you, Admiral sir." Snap crack "I failed your Lieutenant, Admiral sir." Snap "Say your vows." "I'm insignificant and am a product of failure." Crack "I'm worthless." Crack "I dishonor you." Crack "I dishonor the Kaminoans." Crack "I'm not worthy of the air I breath." His whips are getting harder with each vow I repeat back to him. Crack "I'm expendable." Crack The blood is already pooling on the bench and on the floor. "I'm replaceable." Crack "I am no one." Crack "I don't exist." Crack "I'm hideous." The harshest blow was the next one. Crack I couldn't bite back my scream as it ripped through my throat. "I'm nothing." The words leave me as a whisper. He curls up his whip and wipes the blood off on my skin. "You may go." I bow and turn to leave out the door while clutching my clothes to my chest. The tail slices across my face and rips it wide open. Screaming I fall the floor in agony. My vision is gone and my face is white hot pain, a few more whips crisscross my stomach before he's actually finished. "Filthy mistake." I pick myself back up and stagger out the door. Large droplets of blood followed me as I make my way toward the medic unit. Other clones sneer and snap cruel taunts and insults at me as I pass. Blindly I feel my way into the medic office. Toms takes my arm and silently starts washing and bandaging up my back as best he can before cleaning and applying a light Bacta solution to my face and stomach. He gently shoos me out as soon as he's done because he knows showing any favoritism to me at all would cost him greatly. "Thank you Toms." I slur on my way out the door. He passes me a note wrapped up in an ice pack and 5 extra gauze rolls. "You're welcome kid." I stumble back to my broom closet room and settle down on my floor bed. I didn't care I was at risk of losing more blood. I reopen a lot of scars on my arms with my razor blade. Anything to feel pain not inflicted by anyone else. Pain I could control. I tossed my razor in a tin next to me, wrapped my wrists up and pass out. My alarm woke me up the next morning at 0500. I hauled to the showers to get cleaned up and rebandaged before the rest of the clones got up at 0600. My chest binding hurt the worst but I know it had to be done. I looked practically like a mummy with my wrapped forearms, back and bandaged face. It was a harsh slash that started at the tip of my right temple and crossed over the bridge of my nose and ended at my jaw. My eye was swollen shut because of it. I throw on a black regulation hoodie and pull the hood up to cover the damages. I walk into the mostly silent mess hall and make a small bowl of yogurt and granola before sitting down at a lone table in the back. Clone Force 99 strolls in shortly after, Wrecker and Echo are having a loud conversation about blowing things up while Tech has his face glued to his datapad and Crosshair looks on with an angry face and a toothpick in his mouth. Hunter catches sight of me in the far corner before he disappears into the line for food. I drop my head and quietly keep eating my yogurt. Multiple bootstraps echo throughout the empty chow hall as they exit the food line and head for their table. Only, they walk right by it. It was the same number of steps for them every time 246 to reach their table. The steps continued and grew louder as they approach my table. "Care for some company?" I nod and Hunter slides in next to me. Crosshair on my left. Wrecker, Echo and Tech in front of me. The guys don't miss a beat and keep up with their lively conversations. "You guys will be outcasts too." I warn softy. The table grows quiet. "What makes you think we aren't already are?" Hunter the first to break the silence. "Because you have each other." I say simply. Wrecker clears his throat and starts eating his food. I don't dare raise my head and keep it bowed as I eat. "We never thought of it that way." Murmurs Tech. I shrug uselessly and keep eating. Hunter's gaze burns through my hood. As if he knows something is wrong. I jump up to clear my plates as the sound of clones chattering grows in the hallway. Hunter grabs my arm and Crosshair sweeps my leg at the same time and I thump back onto the bench hard. The others throw Crosshair a wtf look. He sneers and looks away. Hunters grip tightens and I wrench my arm away with a yelp. "Look at me." I shake my head. "Look at me dammit, Clone." Trembling I raise my eye to met his. A barrage of emotions fly across his face, the most consistent being fury. I slowly meet the eyes of all the 99 team. Even Crosshair. "Who did this to you?" Hunter's voice was a deadly quiet I hadn't heard before as he gingerly cups one cheek with his hand as he inspects my wound. "Me.. I stumbled and sliced my face open on a stair. I promise." Crosshair's laugh is cold. "We know you couldn't have possibly done it to yourself clone. No Reg is that stupid." The other clones by now have filtered into the chow hall and a quiet buzz exists among the normal chatter at my sitting with the Bad Batch. "Is this clone bothering you boys?" Sneers Clank, a large clone who wandered up to the table. I shrink back between Crosshair and Hunter and plaster myself to Crosshair's armor. "This clone. Is one of us now Clank." Growls Wrecker. His face is one of astonishment before it devolves back to its sneer. "Once a bad batch, always a bad batch." Hunter finally lets me stand up and the rest of the crew rises with me. "Take us to your room. You're moving out." I got mixed reactions from the guys as they stood in the doorway to my closet room. "I don't really have anything to take.. nothing has been mine per se." My room housed the bare minimum. A bed, a thin blanket and a mirror. Hunter smashes the mirror with his fist before walking out of the room. "We have a spare, you are a 99 clone now." I follow after secretly scooping up my battered tin containing my razor and my glasses but stay to the very back so I'm not inconveniencing anyone. The door slides open with a quiet hiss and Tech motions to the spare bed that was below Crosshair's bed. Cautiously I sit on the edge and face the boys. "Thank you.. for everything." Wrecker hands off a stuffed red and black bunny to me. "So you have something to call your own." Tears start falling down my face as sobs wrack my body. Hunter is the first to me as he pulls me to his chest. "Let it out kid." Their door slides open without warning. Immediately I force myself ramrod straight, scrub my face with my sleeves and stand at attention. Tarkin strolls leisurely into the room, his fire clones at his back. "I see you found a stray. Come Naas." "Right away sir." I move to step around Hunter when he throws his arm out in front of me. "No." Tarkin's face twisted to one of anger. "What did you say to me?" "I said. No. He stays here with us." "Naas, you know what happens when you disobey." Gulping hard I nod quickly and dart around Hunter to return to Tarkin's side. Head bowed and in his shadow. "I'm sorry sir." He nods smartly and we leave. I knew what was coming now. And my back hadn't had any time to heal yet. "Since you obeyed, you get to choose which whip for this punishment Naas." "Thank you sir. I don't deserve this kindness." Unbeknownst Hunter and Echo are following us at a safe distance. They watch as Admiral and I disappear into his office. Echo slips one of Tech's drones into the office mere seconds before the door closes. I move quickly, removing my hoodie, bandages and gauze. I set it all neatly to the side before choosing a reasonably harsh whip before presenting it to Admiral Tarkin. "I'm pleased, you aren't using this as an excuse for some leniency." I take my place on the bench, still drenched with my blood from yesterday and await my torture. "Only your vows today." If I could breathe a sigh of relief I would have. "I'm insignificant and am a product of failure." Crack Blood runs freely down my back and starts to stain my pants in the red color he loves so much. "I'm worthless." Crack "I dishonor you." Crack "I dishonor the Kaminoans." Crack "I'm not worthy of the air I breath." The forces of his blows are far worse than yesterday. Crack "I'm expendable." Crack "I'm replaceable." Crack "I am no one." Crack "I don't exist." Crack "I'm hideous." The harshest blow was the next one, always the last one. Crack "I'm nothing and my name is a reflection of me." "You may go Naas." "Thank you Admiral Sir." I hastily wrap my back up in bandages and throw on my hoodie. Upon reaching the door to the 99 room I hesitate. Did they truly want me? Certainly not. My brain hisses at me. I turn to head back to my closet when my vision tilts and the world goes sideways. Minimal food, sleep and blood was taking it's toll on me. Plus the abuse to my back. The metal floor is fast approaching and it hurts when my bad cheek connects, light blooms behind my eyelids as my brain disconnects and allows me to at last pass out.
Wrecker POV "I'm hungry!" I moan. "Then go get seconds Wrecker!" Tech snaps before glaring over his datapad at me. "Okay!" Hmm I hope they have eggs still from earlier. And maybe on the next mission, I'll get to blow something up. Any other thoughts I had went straight out the window when I laid eyes on Clone. He's not moving.. there's too much blood. "TECH!" Tech and Hunter come sprinting out seconds later and blasters at the ready. Their trigger fingers fall at the sight of me rocking Clone slowly with his head in my arms. "Help him!" "Quickly, on my table!" Clone's head lulled at a weird angle as the 99 team spread out to save his life. Wrecker ripped off his hoodie and the sight alone was enough to get the war hardened clones to freeze. Clone's back was a macabre bloody Picasso painting of abstract lines, rips and tears. Even Crosshair sat shocked on Clone's bed at the sight before him. His face didn't reveal much, but his eyes screamed everything he couldn't say. "We are going to kill who did this to him." Snarls Hunter. The boys murmured and growled in agreement. Wrecker paced endlessly beside the table as he waited for his new friend to wake up. Tech, Echo and Hunter work tirelessly to stitch what little bit of skin together they could on Clone's back before dosing him heavily with bacta spray and bandaging him up. Clone's POV Fractured images flit through my mind as pain overtakes my brain and force it to feel the sting of a thousand lashes dipped in lemon and salt over again and again. Slowly my eyes open and I let a shuddered breath escape my lips. Wrecker was at my side first. Tears leaking down his face and his massive hands clutching my dwarfed hand by comparison. Words sob their way from him. "He's awake!" "Actually, Wrecker. Clone here is a she." Tech, ever the technical one pipes up from his corner as he walks toward me. "Glad to see you pulled through. It was touch and go for a while." "I prefer to go by he sometimes." I whisper. Hunter nods knowingly. "Whatever you want kid, whatever you want." "Is Tarkin mad at me?" Silence. "Was it him?" Squeezing my eyes shut to force back the burn of tears I nod. "How many times Naas?" I jerk upright with a pained yelp. "Don't ever call me that again." Tech rushes to check on my back and Echo looks as though I stabbed him. "It means Nothing." Crosshair. His voice was the last I expected to hear. I turn to face Crosshair. "That is correct." Wrecker's voice cracks, "He named you nothing?" "Yes. From nothing I came. As nothing I remain." Wrecker howls mournfully before scooping me up in his arms. Fat tear drops stain my clothes as I rest my head against his chest. "I'm fine big guy." I reassure while patting his shoulder. "You almost died Clone." Craning my neck to look over Wrecker's shoulder I lock eyes with Hunter's deadly gaze. "It would have been a blessing." Tech snaps the pencil he's using to sketch an outline of a ship enhancement. Wrecker sets me down on my bed and takes a seat next to me. "Clone isn't a fitting name for you." Hunter surmises as he steps in front of me. "What are you good at?" I stare at the ground blankly while wracking my head for ideas. "Oh! I can take a punishment without complaint!" Hunter's eyebrows disappear before his gaze turns deadly. "Enlighten me on what a punishment is." Fiddling with Little Wreck I refuse to meet his gaze again. "Well.. Tarkin has a lot of anger.. and I was created to be his protege, but he's never pleased with my results. Which- which is fine! Because I'm not complaining sir, I promise. I'm proud to serve the Republic however I can. So.. he hardens me with punishments. I even got to choose the whip last time because he was proud of me for obeying. I'm a good listener.. and I chose a whip he'd be happy with because if I go to weak he overrides my choice.. He prefers my back so he doesn't have to see my face. He doesn't like my heterochromia, says it's a pathetic choice of genes. But.. you can't see it now because my eye is swollen shut. I must have stood up too soon because he whipped my face and stomach. You can only see my green iris now.. my black iris is the one he hit." Crosshair storms out of the chamber with his rifle in tow and a tight "I'm going to the range". I blink sorrowfully at Wrecker. "Did I say the wrong thing?" Wrecker shakes his head and throws his arm protectively around my shoulder. Hunter motions for me to continue. "If I fail or embarrass him I get extra lashes on-top of my vows." "Vows?" Echo pipes up finally. "11 vows I have to repeat verbatim, 1 lash per vow in between each vow. I'm insignificant and am a product of failure, I'm worthless, I dishonor you, I dishonor the Kaminoans, I'm not worthy of the air I breath, I'm expendable, I'm replaceable, I am no one, I don't exist, I'm hideous, I'm nothing and my name is a reflection of me." Hunter snarls in disgust. "How many times?" I blink blankly. "How many times, what Sargent?" "How many times have you said those vows." "I am 26 years old, he started when I was 5 after I accidentally broke a memorial plate in his office. You do the math sir." Hunter flings his Holocom across the room where it smashed against the wall. Panicked I duck under Wrecker's arm and quickly removed my hoodie and bandages before they could say anything. I knelt on the ground before Wrecker and interlock my fingers behind my head. "You can use what you'd like sir." Wrecker's eyes screw up in horror as tears leak unchecked down his cheeks. Tech jumps up with fresh bandages and bacta spray, he kneels next to me and murmurs comfortingly as he addresses my back. "We will NEVER treat you the way he did. I promise, Clone." I let him wrap the bandages around me and he takes care to avoid my chest as much as he can. Wrecker hands me one of his t-shirts to use and it's basically a night gown on me. Only with the shirt on does Hunter hone in on my arms that are still covered in bandages. "Did he whip there too?" It felt easier to just agree so I nod. Thankfully, I'm spared further questions as Crosshair bursts into the room. "I know, we need to load up and ditch Kamino." Replies Hunter to Crosshair's unasked question. I clutch my tin, glasses case and stuffed bunny to my chest as the guys methodically pack up the room. "Act like nothing's wrong and we are simply prepping for our next mission, Wrecker, you need to sneak Clone out on your back." Orders Hunter. Tech throws a large duffel bag to Wrecker who lays it out on the floor. "We're breaking you out of here Clone." Laughs Wrecker. I smile weakly before climbing into the bag and balling up as best I can. Wrecker gives me one last reassuring smile before he zips up the bag and hoists me onto his back. The next 10 minutes from their room to the shuttle bay felt like hours. I was doing my best not to twitch every time I heard fire clones, they specifically reported back to Tarkin. Thankfully I hear the ship door hiss open and Wrecker ducks into the belly of the ship. The bag unzips and his friendly face pops into view. I launch out of the bag and tightly wrap my arms around his neck. "Thank you." I whisper as fresh tears blur my vision. "We're not out of the woods yet little one. But you will forever be safe with us." Wrecker promises, his good eye shining with happiness. I see a top bunk and quickly make my way onto the bunk bed to stay out of sight. Wrecker watches me, "That's actual-" "Wrecker come in." Hunter interrupts whatever Wrecker was gonna tell me. "Here Hunter." "Report back for your gear, Tech and Echo are 3 minutes from the bay." He gives me one last look before he steps off the ship. Alone on the ship I wait with baited breath, I never thought I was actually going to get out of here and as soon as Tarkin realizes I'm gone.. I'm screwed. The blanket on the bed smells really good and I'm trembling with fear and cold so I wrap it around me and little wreck. Echo and Tech make the ship slightly tremble as they board and both stop as soon as they see me. I wave slightly and they share a look before quickly unpacking. "Clone, Echo is going to stay with you, I'm going back to finish help packing up the room. I nod silently and fixate my gaze on Echo. Tech disappears and Echo gives me a small smile, "I know what it's like to feel unwanted by the Regs. I was one once." "I'm sorry.." He looks back up from his datapad. "Why?" "You will be wanted clones for taking me away.." "That's a worthy enough cause for us, Clone." Letting the conversation die out I wait with my head on my knees as the other clones come back. Hunter's eyes widen when he sees where I'm sitting and he goes to move me when Crosshair steps onto the ship. Crosshair stops dead when he follows Hunter's gaze. "Get. Down." I scramble off the bed and hit the floor of the ship on my knees. My tin clattering away from me along with my glasses and Bunny. Crosshair stalks over and rips the blanket off me. "I fully accept my punishment sir." I mumble duly while looking at the floor. I don't see Crosshair's face go ghost white, just Wrecker lunging between Crosshair and I. Crosshair scoffs and throws his blanket back on his bed. "Don't touch my shit Reg." Wrecker scoops me up off the floor and hands me the bunny before setting me on his bed. "You can sit on my bed, Clone." Wrecker from there on out hovers near me for the rest of the packing process. Glaring at Crosshair anytime he gets near me. I leave the bed while the guys are distracted and take up residence in the seat in the cockpit. Tech joins me not to long after and starts the warm up process for the ship. "Tech?" "Yeah Clone?" "Will you name me?" His ears turn bright red, and he tugs nervously at the edge of his armor. "I don't think I can come up with an acceptable name for you Clone." "Okay." Hunter whistles low and twirls his finger in a circle, Tech leans forward and flips a few switches before pointing at the hatch so I can watch it shut. Climbing down from the cockpit chair causes Wrecker to look up from his bunk and excitedly gesture for me to join him. I stiffly walk over and climb into his bunk with him. He's showing me an old book on ancient gods. "I think you're pretty like Aphrodite." He smiles widely while pointing to her picture. I pat his arm lightly and shake my head. "I think you need your good eye checked Wrecker. We look nothing a like by any standards." His brow furrows as he takes a closer look at the photo. "Nope! I still think I'm right." Hunter comes over to read over my shoulder. "I think you look more like Athena, Clone. Here I wanna show you something, look out the window." He backs up and let's me see out the port window. Amazed I plaster my face to the glass and watch the stars stream by. "I've never seen anything like this before, except on holograms of course and that was only secretly, Admiral didn't like me studying. Said it made me dangerous haha. I know how to clean, take apart and reassemble a rifle in seconds but I don't get to learn about the stars. The stars are what make me dangerous." I scoff coldly. Turning back I crack my knuckles causing the group to look up. "I know my name now. Call me.. Ares." Wrecker's face breaks into a large grin, "Yer one of us now Ares!" I smile as Hunter ruffles my hair and Echo hands me a wrist com. Crosshair is the only clone to not join in my name celebration. Wrecker breaks out some beer bottles from a mini fridge built into the wall of the ship. Wrecker hands off a beer to me and I sniff it cautiously. Disgusting. I stalk over to Crosshairs bunk and stand on my tiptoes offering up a bottle of beer in my hand. He leans over the side to glare at me but takes the beer with a quiet thanks. "First planet we land on, we're going to a tattoo parlor for your clone mark." Hunter smirks behind his beer. The boys finish their drinks and start winding down for bed. Not knowing where to sleep I curl up in the middle of the floor between the bunks and wait for sleep to come. But it doesn't. Flattening my back against the cool metal I watch the stars speed by out the window. Hours pass and you still can't fall asleep. Pilot rotation has happened twice over. First Tech, then Echo, and now Hunter. Getting up, I silently cross the floor to where he's sitting in the cockpit and settle myself on the floor under his chair. If he notices me he doesn't say anything. But after a few minutes his hand drops and I press the side of my head into his palm. And that's where we stayed for the rest of the trip. Him and I awake and silent yet fully engrossed in each others company. I don't flinch as the twi'lek finishes up the Saturn and trident tattoo running down the side of my neck. It hadn't been a full day since we'd left Kamino, they wanted to stop for supplies for our future journey. She finishes wiping off the leftover ink before spraying some bacta on it lightly. "All set, you're good to go." I thank her before checking it out in the mirror. It was perfect, the lines were crisp and the shading was gorgeous. She hadn't flinched when she saw my back to get better access at my neck, she didn't ask any questions which was nice. Tech had remained back at the ship to finish up some technical touches he wanted to go over before we took off again. Wrecker and Echo had disappeared in search of food so it was just Crosshair, Hunter and myself. Hunter came back from checking in with Tech outside. "Tech's done his upgrades, we need to move out. We've been here for long enough as it is with the shopping and tattoo." Ducking away from his gaze I follow Crosshair outside. Both troopers keep a close eye on me as we weave through the crowd in the direction of the ship. I was at least half a foot shorter than them and was easier to lose in the crowd. Especially wearing a black hood and shorts. Wrecker spots me easily though and charges through the people causing them to jump out of his way in fear of getting run over. "Ares! Ares! You missed the womprats!" Wrecker shouts while scooping me up in a large hug. Laughing I hug the big man back. "You can show me on the next world can't you Wrecker?" He nods excitedly after thinking for a few moments. He lets me ride his back all the way back to the ship, regaling me with stories of how he blew buildings and clankers up. Hunter eyes my hoodie carefully trying to sense if my back is bleeding through it's bandages or not. Wrecker picks me up off his shoulders and sets me on the ramp into the ship. Slowly walking in I look around to make sure Crosshair isn't looking before darting to his bed, climbing into the far corner and waiting patiently for my victim. I hear his footsteps board the ship and I start seeing his armor come around the corner when I lunge out of my hiding spot. "RAAAHHH." He doesn't even twitch and levels a glare at me. "Bed, off." Sullenly I climb down off his bed. As soon as he goes to climb up it I twist on one foot and wrap my arms around his stomach and press into his back so he can't hit me."I'm sorry you hurt too." I mumble into his back. His body goes rigid and he gently pats one of my arms. "I don't hurt Kid, that's just you." He sneers. I don't say anything more and just stand there for a few moments. As soon as my arms loosen he hops up into his bed and starts to disassemble his rifle to clean it. "We've got a long trip ahead to the safe planet so tuck in, it's gonna be awhile." Calls out Tech from the cockpit. The guys start stretching out in their bunks while Tech takes first watch. Not seeing anywhere for me to sleep I quietly curl up into a ball on the floor and use little wreck as a pillow. Any sleep I got was filled with nightmares and endless pain. I jerk awake for the 6th time, trembling with tears running down my face and decide I'm not going to sleep anymore tonight. Hunter has taken over watch and I walk over to look out the window with him. "Can't sleep?" He asks while eyeing my back. I nod. "Too many nightmares." "Sigh* I get the feeling kid, eventually they'll go away." "Can... can I sit with you, Hunter?" "Sure kid." I walk over to where he has his feet kicked up against the table console and carefully climb onto his lap. I finally settle with my head against his armor, my arms around the back of his neck, my body pressed to his chest and my legs dangling off the side of the chairs on either side of him. He relaxes under me and wraps his arms around my back and gently strokes my back. I'm surprised he's letting me sit here like this. They've known me for like 3 days. "I'm here for you kid." "Tears are weak Hunter, Tarkin always said so." I murmur as fresh tears threaten to fall down my cheeks. Stupid emotions.. why can't they just go away.. suck up the tears, numb your soul.. ignore the pain. I screw my eyes up and slam my fist into my head a few times. "Worthless worthless worthless!" I hiss at myself. "Hey hey! None of that." Hunter scolds while putting my hand back around his neck. His right hand comes up to cup the back of my head and he says nothing as he strokes long gentle strokes down my back. I let the tears overcome me and my body shakes as the sobs choke the air from my lungs. I cry and cry until a couple hours later, I'm passed out on Hunters chest nightmare free and he too is asleep and nightmare free for the first time in years. Soft conversations rouse me from my deep sleep, and I find I'm tucked into Crosshair's bed with Wreck and 2 blankets on me. I know it's his because I recognize his smell. Crosshair let me sleep in his bed? Did he put me up here?I slowly climb out of Crosshairs bed and make sure it's made nicely with tight corners before climbing down. It's the least I can do for potentially getting blood on his sheets.. The guys look up from their meeting. "C'mere Ares." Wrecker holds his hands out to me and I go and sit on his lap with him. "We're thinking of lying low for a while at the safe planet, does a foresty planet sound good do you?" I shrug. "Never seen grass before. Or trees." Tech looks up with wide eyes and starts immediately jotting down notes of things to study with me when he notices Hunter staring at my back. "I need to change your bandages Ares." Tech announces while hopping up to grab his med kit. At least this crew cares about me.. I think. I peel off my sweatshirt and start slowly undoing the bandages. Grimaces overtaking my face as it pulls at the tender skin on my back. Tech hustles back over and takes over unwrapping my back. I keep my eyes down as the last bandage falls away from my chest. Tech starts threading a needle and the trembling takes over as I know the pain is going to be extremely uncomfortable. Crosshair shockingly kneels in front of me and grips my hands in his gloved ones. "Hey.. just look at me while Tech stitches you up okay?" I raise my eyes and look at him questioningly as Tech starts on the first lash. My eyes widen and I grip his hands in a death grip. "Breath Mesh'la. Be Kotep." A gasp hisses out between my teeth that trails off into a pained whimper. "Cross!" "You are capable of withstanding this, Mesh'la." Mesh'la.. wonder why he calls me that.. Mesh'la.. it's mando'a isn't it.. mesh- my eyes rollback and I unconsciously topple into Crosshairs arms. "Tech you bastard!" Snaps Crosshair. Tech throws up his hands, bloody and still holding the needle. "Give me that!" Crosshair lays me down gently on his lap and continues Tech's work more carefully. I stir under his needlework but don't return to consciousness. Crosshair sews up the worst of the wounds, applies more Bacta spray and rebandages me with the help of Tech. Tech breaks a salt pack underneath my nose and I shoot upright in disgust. Turning into Crosshairs chest I bury my face in his neck to avoid the awful smelling salts. His pulse thumps strongly against my skin and has a certain lull to it. "Don't leave me Crosshair." I murmur. His grip on me tightens. "Wouldn't dream of it sweetheart. "How much further to the planet Hunter?" I groan. "7 hours. You gotta be hungry though. I know we have some ration bars around here somewhere." My nose crinkles in disgust at the thought and I fall silent. Crosshair catches the bar Hunter chucks over and breaks the seal. "Just a nibble?" His voice soft and soothing compared to the snarl he had a day prior. I shake my head. He bites it and offers it again. "It's not that bad." Begrudgingly I bite off a small piece of the offered bar and chew it. I wrinkle my nose again and bury my head in his neck when he tries to offer it again. Hunter watches me sadly, it's going to be a long time before true trust is built.