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Sam and Adam had spent the entire goddamn day trying to puzzle out where Ben was hiding. It’d only been almost nine and a half hours that Adam, whilst the two were sat on a bench in a small park, spotted something on google maps – a path, to a seemingly hidden play park (a path they’d walked past so many times, and hadn’t afforded a second glance to).
“Sam- Sam have we looked here?” Adam asked, pointing out the area on the satellite view he’d pulled up.
“I can’t tell what that is.” He replied, peering at it through the slight glare that the cloudy day created on the dimmed screen, before hunching back over his own phone to continue with research.
The consensus they came to was that they weren’t sure they’d checked it. Both of them picked their bags, and started to trudge their way towards the path, getting somewhat lost on their way (quite evidently it was a tricky path to find).
As they walked down it, through twisted iron arches, it became increasingly obvious that those are the hedges! and there’s the damn slide.
“That fucking guy,” Sam muttered, leaning over a railing and finally spotting Ben.
“Hi!” Ben exclaimed, slowly twisting his way our from under the slide, beaming up at the other two.
He had almost a sure-fire victory now, with a very solid 9 and a half hours under his belt, and was feeling sure that neither Sam, nor Adam with his somewhat pitiful 4 hours, could catch up to his lead before the end of the game, especially with the fact that Sam would be starting from the middle of nowhere. Literally.
With barely anytime for the three to reconcile, Sam demanded the dice, leaving in a flurry of movement, all whilst throwing out multiple variations of “I hated this!” over his shoulder.
As the two were left to their 2 and a half hours of peaceful ‘jail’ time (which meant they’d be staying the night in the incredibly small town), Adam broke the silence with a sincere congratulations!, before procuring a mystery package from his bag with a flourish. It crinkled promisingly, and Ben’s victorious grin turned wolfish as he realised what it was - ‘sauer gluehwuermchen’ the packet read; sweets.
“Saw these and thought of you,” Adam confessed, shooting a nervous grin towards the other, and holding them out like a peace offering to a rabid animal. Ben took the pack with glee, tearing into them with barely contained desperation at the promise of something other than bread and raclette, setting himself down on the relatively comfortable floor (he should know, he’d spent far too many hours there). It didn’t take long before a decent chunk of the glow worms had disappeared, and Adam had joined the other on the playground’s floor.
“These cherry-lemon ones are definitely the best,” Ben shuffled round to face Adam, who was still in the middle of trying the different flavours – he'd only managed the first two, and still had a bright yellow-red one lain on one hand, “the sour lemon is perfect with the cherry, I’m tellin’ ya.”
Adam held his remaining glow worm to the light, letting it catch the murky ambient light. His eyes flickered to Ben, who was enthusiastically picking out the remaining cherry-lemon sweets, also holding them to the dimming light to check their colours. A soft smile ghosted Adam’s lips as he watched Ben’s enjoyment, mind wandering to moments they’d shared throughout the past seasons, and, more specifically, to the fact that Ben could finally follow through with his threat to eat glow worms.
He mentioned it out loud with a chuckle, trying not to stare as Ben looked up to catch his gaze, before turning away with a quiet laugh,
“Yeah, thought that’s why you got them, to be honest-“ Adam didn’t want to respond, so he savoured Ben’s brief laughter, expression flickering to something more profound for a split second, something adoring, before moving on, refusing to linger.
In the light of the slowly disappearing sun, though only in certain areas thanks to the clouds that still scuttled across the wide, empty landscape, Adam realised the depth of his feelings toward the man opposite him. They were something he’d been denying for a solid year, and they suddenly hit him like a ten tonne truck. They went further than he’d thought, and this time he couldn’t just hide it behind the game or camaraderie; there was something more brilliant there, that he tried so desperately to refuse to acknowledge, as it threatened to send scarlet across his cheeks.
With a sigh, hidden behind a cough, Adam bought the glow worm to his lips, trying not to think about how Ben had mentioned it was his favourite, and let the sweet-tangy mix burst across his tongue instead. Despite his best efforts to stay game focused, as Ben offered ideas about what their first moves could be the following morning, Adam could do little more than offer grunts of approval every so often. His mind was preoccupied, toying with the realisation that Ben’s presence had become an integral part of his world, that being without him for the majority of the past two days had actually been…difficult, like a satellite off course and out of orbit, and he hadn’t even realised.
Yet, despite the undeniable pull Adam felt toward Ben, he couldn’t shake the nagging voice that loved to offer its questions; is this reciprocal? Or are you just imagining it? Are you running the risk of ruining what you have?
As he watched Ben move to pick his bag from the floor, Adam unconsciously doing the same, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of longing. He knew admitting anything would be like Russian roulette, with higher stakes than his life on the line, it would require a vulnerability of the like he’d rarely afforded anyone, and he wasn't sure he could gamble those stakes.
As he muddled through his complicated thoughts, he allowed Ben to guide him to the hotel, and introduce him to the front-desk, who was apparently a Wendover fan (unlucky him, catching them without Sam for once), before then tugging him over to the singular town restaurant as it opened.
The cosy ambience of the restaurant enveloped the two as they entered – brisk wind was replaced by wafting aromas of freshly cooked bread and sizzling meats, accompanied by that all too enticing scent of melting cheese. Despite his internal battle, Adam, for a second, concentrated solely on inhaling the scents around him, before briefly peeking towards Ben who was similarly entranced by the mouth-watering fragrances. They took a table deep within the restaurant, by one of the windows covered by a set of curtains, and Adam picked up the offered menu, despite knowing what they would be getting. Ben settled into a brief conversation with the waiter, whilst Adam stole glances at the apparently French Ben, who muddled his way through a brief French bonjour, with perhaps the worst accent Adam had ever heard (unfortunately, that only made Ben all the more endearing).
As the conversation came to a standstill, the waiter took their order – Adam pointed at the sharing fondue, and Ben nodded enthusiastically, before replying to the waiter.
Little conversation took place whilst they waited for their food, Ben perused his phone, whilst Adam once again got lost in just…staring (though, if asked, he’d call it more subtle than that, before denying it happened in the first place so what does it matter anyway!).
As the fondue arrived, and they dug in, Adam couldn’t help but notice how Ben’s deep eyes felt endless in the candle light, entrancing with how they played with the flickering of the flame. There was a warmth in his smile, in his very presence, which far out weighed the candles, and left Adam floundering in his laughter.
With every shared bite and hidden glance, Adam felt his resolve crumble – he couldn’t live with himself if he let this opportunity slide, if he let this rarely found willingness to be vulnerable go to waste. Hell, he found himself drawn to Ben in a way that refused full comprehension, and denied rationality, he wasn’t sure he could ignore it without screwing up big time at some later point.
Despite this, he remained acutely aware of the unbridged potential chasm that lay between them – one of unspoken words and unexplored feelings that threatened to swallow him whole, and Adam wasn’t sure if he’d overcome this trepidation in any other way than the pure adrenaline which currently threatened to overtake his rational decisions.
As Ben savoured the last chunks of the fresh bread, twisting them in the dwindling cheese supply, Adam allowed his gaze to linger. Lost in thought, Ben turned to address the camera, but his thoughts were interrupted as his hand was grazed.
Startled, Ben turned to look at the man sat opposite him, who looked increasingly nervous and small against the bold wooden backdrop. As all attention was focused on him, Adam found his words stuck in his throat which appeared to tighten and convulse. Coughing to clear it, he opened his mouth to speak the words that had been nervously flitting in the pit of his stomach,
“I- Look I just wanted to say, Ben,” his voice wavered slightly, and he looked up to hold eye contact with the slightly confused gaze that the other currently portrayed, “I cherish our friendship more than I could possibly express in words. You- You mean the world to me, and…and I just wanted you to know that.”
Ben’s eyes widened with realisation, pieces falling perfectly into the jigsaw, before a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as his confusion gave way to pure joy. Reaching over the table, he tugged Adam’s downcast gaze upwards, and, for a fleeting moment, the restaurant faded into naught but background accompaniment.
“Adam,” Ben’s voice was welcomingly soft against the harsh, overwhelming noises of Adam’s doubts, “you have no idea how much those words mean to me—” He broke off, leaving the confession hanging in the air.
Adam’s heart skipped a beat, a weight of uncertainty lifting off his shoulders. He looked at Ben, disbelief dancing with hope, painfully obvious in the little tells of his expression (Ben had learnt them all throughout the past handful of years).
“You have?” He could barely hear himself over the pounding of his heart, which threatened to break free from his chest cavity.
Ben nodded, a small grin breaking onto his lips. “Yeah. Sam actually told me off a few times for being way too painfully obvious,” he admitted, “according to him I wasn’t as subtle as I thought…guess I can prove him wrong now.”
The relief he felt at this revelation knocked the breath from Adam, leaving him feeling lighter than ever before – a weight he’d been unaware of had been lifted from his chest with the unspoken promise of a love that dared to defy the bounds of friendship.