Chapter Text
The moment the Head Housemaiden stopped telling the tale of Mirabelle causing her first explosion in a classroom (that caused everybody to laugh out loud) Siffrin, to the horror of everybody else and to their own complete mortification, just... fell over, out cold.
They didn't dream. Not even the strange dreams the Tears had offered. It was just like a switch had been flipped. One moment they had laughed themself into a cough from the image of Mira standing in the middle of exploded classroom, the next moment everything was just OFF and then they woke up.
They felt... better. A lot better.
The pinpricks behind their eye were gone. The feeling of hot-cold that had been there after the fight with the King and even more so after Loop was mostly gone, replaced with a gentle warmness and the slight stuffiness that usually came when they spend just a bit to much time in bed. Their body still felt a bit like it was to heavy, like it didn't quite fit right somewhere. Their stomach was still a bit upset but he didn't felt like being yanked around anymore. The smell of sugar was gone, only clean linen and some of the warm-flower-like smell could be registered by him. It wasn't the meadow, it was different.
It was nice. So nice.
Stars, he could cry. Maybe he did so. It was a bit hard to tell honestly.
It's different, it's different. He woke up, and it's different.
The Loops are gone. Really gone. They did it. They DID it. They were FREE!
Siffrin sat up, slowly, muscles arching, a big grin on their face and tears still in their eye. Free. They were free!
BLINDING STARS they were free! He tried to swing a leg from the bed because he wanted OUT he wanted to see his FAMILY he wanted to TELL them to SCREAM at them.
HE WAS FREE.
And he promptly fell flat on his face, his knees not able to take his weight at all. Rough wood under his face. It smelled like wood and oil and dust.
Different. But also ouch.
“SIFFRIN?”
The door busted open and in piled Isabeau, big eyes even bigger, big chest heaving with big breaths, big hands holding the doorframe, starting to reach out for him.
He is reaching out for them. He is reaching, reaching, reaching, will he stop? He will stop any moment, any moment he will stop oh stars it will be like last time right?
And Isabeau's big hand reached under him, under his chest (gently, really gently) and lifted him up, up back into the bed.
Siffrin, to his slight horror, noted just how easy of a time Isa had with that action and he wondered if it was because Isa got that much stronger in the House or if Siffrin was just that much lighter...
Wait wait wait wait. He remembered now.
They.... they didn't go through the House together, this time right? It was all jumbled up, he might have gone a liiiiiitle bit (a lot) crazy there for that last... Loop.
He went through the house alone, fought the King alone. His family rescued him, he almost died, they came still for him, they went through the house all alone, they helped him and he.
He.
He.
He hadn't wanted to let them go. He hadn't wanted for their journey to end.
… he almost ended the world a bit there huh?
And they heard his wish. They all saw him... and they forgave him? They were okay? They agreed to travel?
But.
But this was the loop he was so horrible to them?!
Were they even family? In this loop?
They were still friends? Probably? Hopefully?
They had smiled at him... held his hand, at the end because despite everything, they...
They had felt the same. They didn't want the journey to end. Siffrin had been so so so HAPPY.
But.
But.
But but but but...
Something warm and solid was at their back, petting him softly.
“Sif. Sif, shhhh...” Isa's soft voice at his ear. There was a strange sound too. Something was Wheezing? A shuttering, breathy sound that...
Oh.
Oh, the sound came from Sif.
“Breath with me, Sif.” Isa said. “In and Out. In and out.”
Siffrin took some deep breaths. The wheezing sound slowly ebbed away. The spinning, the static, everything. Cleared. Up a bit.
“There you go.” Isa said, gently, very very gently, touch warm and soft and light (a bit to light, please, please, please touch him more!), grounding. “There you go, Siff. Shhh. Are you back? You with me, buddy?”
Siffrin could only nod, swallowing around spit and nothing.
They were sitting in the bed, Isa besides them. Isa looked worried. So siff tried to hide his face under a hat that isn't there anymore.
“Uh... Sorry, Isa.” He said, voice cracked and raw and he hated how small and weak it sounded. “Uh... I uh... stepped out on the wrong leg?”
Isa chuckled softly but shook his head. “Yeah, funny joke, Siff.” he said. “But really, you shouldn't be out of bed at all.”
“But I am...” fine.
He was fine, right?
“Yeah, no, you aren't.” Isa said lightly. “You had a high fever and were out for a day. The Head Housemaiden said it was just exhaustion and craft-overuse. But you also literally burned through a lot of weight and... apparently didn't sleep? For a while? Mira couldn't really say much but we blame the time shenanigans. Uh... Odile and me had some theories after getting into some more books... You know how crafting does like take energy to manifest? Bonnie usually keeps us capped off with snacks and stuff but the more powerful your crafts the longer the cooldown right? But you probably ignored the cooldowns so you heated up more and more into fevers and burned energy to keep going. Uhhh... some books mentioned a mana system but I think it works with good old calories. Also your body might not suffer much from the lack of sleep but your mind probably did and well...”
Siffrin didn't turn out the conversation for a second but he had trouble following all of it.
“So I... I burned myself... out?” They tried.
“Pretty much, yeah, buddy.” Isa said lightly. “Nothing some rest and food wont fix. But uh... yeah. Rest, Sif. It's fine. Just... rest up and let us handle the other stuff.”
And Siffrin's insides started to twist.
He was a burden, again. Right? First he had his bad memory, he had been the freak with no past and no future, who would just... hang around the group, not because he was heroic or wanted to save the world but because he was lonely and bored and this little group of traveling people were the first ones that seemed... nice. That were desperate enough for help that they let a stranger travel with them. That were to kind (and stupid) to recognize the kind of monster they invited into their group.
And then there was Bonnie. Cute, little, baby bird Bonnie who was out there all alone (like Sif) who was desperate for help (like Sif) and who was crying for their sister, their home (unlike Sif because Sif had no home, couldn't remember a family, a loved one, a past, anything) and the others fell in love with them so fast.
Siffrin loved them too, like a child, a sibling, like family, like something he needed to protect. And he was so so so jealous of this sister he never met.
And then the sadness. Tried. To. Attack. His. Kid.
Siffrin couldn't remember how he was before. Before he woke up on that beach. But he wanted to believe that there was never a time where they just stood by while a kid was hurt. Their body moved on its own, without any of his input. It just happened.
He had doubted a lot about himself and the group at that point. He was a stranger and they strange to him. He tagged along, enjoyed Mirabelle's kindness, Isabeau's fun personality and Odile's dry wit. He tried to impress them, he tried to show them that he had a role to fill in their group.
So Mirabelle was the healer and chosen of the Goddess. Isabeau was the Fighter and Defender, the bulk and tank. And Odile was their mage, their researcher, the one that could use all three crafts so no matter what Sadness came, they were ready. Siffrin wasn't smart or kind of bulky, he was small and sharp and dumb so he tried to play support, tried to find a role for himself.
And when that Sadness attacked Bonnie, their kid, their body moved on its own, faster than any of the others could and.
And.
Afterwards Siffrin berated himself for it. He tried to fill a role that wasn't his. Not a Defender, not a Hero, not Bonnie's (anything). So he lost an eye because he was stupid, but it was a small price to pay, honestly, for playing a roll that wasn't his and for preventing the kid from taking harm.
The others had seemed upset with him and he had hated that so much. They wouldn't touch him, wouldn't look him in his eyes, be it the removed one or the still alive one. They had to take him to some healers, they had to care for him and slow down for him when they were on a time-crunch already. He had been out and useless for a week and needed to recover even longer and they still... stuck around.
Honestly, Siffrin never understood why they didn't left him behind. He was the fast one, the one that spotted things but now he couldn't spot or move very fast. But they still cared for him, still shouldered his burden and he had sworn himself to never be a burden again.
Well, it sure turned out bad for him. Can't even keep a single blinding promise these days.
So it was the same now again, right? Stupid Siffrin, got stuck in a timeloop, burned themself up trying to pull themself into two directions and now he was useless again and...
They would again need to take care of him. Siffrin knew they wouldn't... abandon him. Not now. Not after everything. But it still felt... wrong.
Do they do all of this because they WANT to or because they are afraid of him ending the world because he doesn't want to be alone? It can't be, thou. They wouldn't... go this far for somebody that they hated. He knew that. Mira was just to nice, Isa said he loved him, Odile wouldn't bother with lying and Bonnie hugged him. They would have let him burn himself out if they hated him.
Still... Still Siffrin just couldn't shake that ice-cold feeling. What if, what if...
Isabeau was still petting him. Part of Sif felt a bit better, part of him wanted to shiver up and curl into the darkest corner of the world and never come out again.
“But...” Siffrin started. “I am rested now? I slept... a whole day apparently?”
Isabeau's face contorted into a grimace, like Sif just said something painful (and didn't that bring up bad memories too...).
“Dude, for real, spending a few hours passed out because of overuse of craft magic AND after spending who-knows-how-long in a timeloop AND fighting the king on their own AND apparently burning through all your reserves is NOT considered rest. Its a START to a rest.” Isa crossed his arms. “I'll tell the others that you are awake so uh... be ready for some serious snack time and you SHOULD eat like... a lot. But after eating, if you are still up to it, we adults need to sit down and talk about some stuff.”
Siffrin grimaced again. He really REALLY didn't wanna... talk. But.
Talk to them. You not talking to them kinda got us into this mess.
They nodded slowly.
“Okay.” They said. Quietly.
“Oh don't look like we gonna yell at you.” Isa said.
“You won't?”
“Dude! Like! No. Sif, come on!” Isa whined. “I told you I... I am not angry. Mira worked through some stuff, Bonnie mostly yelled at uh... whatever made you do “endless school without breaks”.” Siffrin chuckled at that, because the mental image of Bonnie shouting at the universe was cute. “And Odile is... you know her, she won't yell.”
No, she never yelled. Sif remembered only the ice in her voice, the glare, the mistrust, the look she gave them as they first met and in the meadow during that terrible, terrible day.
We are not friends she had said, back then when Sif joined them, after he had said “well, lets go friends” to them.
It was only minutes after defeating that Sadness, only seconds after Mira had asked Siffrin if they wanted to join them and Siffrin had said yes without thinking much on it. Of course they were not friends yet, of course Odile would object. Still, it strung a bit.
Afterwards Sif had tried to impress her, had tried to impress them all. Isa and Mira both seemed to like his skills, his strength and speed and seemed to enjoy his jokes and puns but Odile... she never seemed pleased with him.
There was one memory that stuck to Siffrin. It had been weeks after he joined but still before they found Bonnie.
Isa, Odile and him were out in a tavern, getting a drink together. It was the first time Siffrin went drinking with them so he was curious and a bit giddy. Isa seemed to enjoy his company well enough and after a few drinks they were laughing together, singing a song with most of the important words missing and probably way off. Odile had had watched them, back then.
And when they walked home, Sif a bit more than tipsy, he had... asked her. Something. He couldn't remember what he said or asked specifically but it was something about Ka Bue and some drink he knew came from there and she had.
He probably made a pun. A joke. Something about friends going out on a drink. At first, she hadn't said anything. Later Siffrin hadn't thought about it much, they had helped Isa into his tent and somehow it had ended with Sif waking up in the same tent with Isa.
It wasn't a big deal, they weren't even touching but Odile had seemed... angry when they came out of the tent after another.
I do not trust you. She had said, in the morning, before Isa had come out of the tent. You better not hurt my friend. I'll keep my eyes on you.
She had never yelled at him, even after he had lost his eye. Even after he lost most of his usefulness for the group. Even after all of them needed to deal with him not being fast enough to save his kid and his own skin. Even after he was so useless afterwards, when he ran into things and misjudged distances and made blunders in battles and needed healing more than any of them, when he needed either Mira's healing craft or their precious few healing items.
She hadn't yelled but she had never needed to. Her deep sighs when they needed to stop for him again, when Sif fell out of a tree during scouting or when he collapsed after a strong rock attack that he would have dodged easily when he still had his full visions had said it all. Sif got the message loud and clear and he tried to never forget it.
We tolerate you at best.
It got better after that but... Odile always only called him an ally.
Hello, I am Odile, this is Mirabelle the chosen Handmaid and Isabeau the Defender. And this is our ally Siffrin.
It felt like a dream when Odile told them she saw them as family. Sif included. It was exhilarating. Elevating. It was the happiest moment in Sif's life.
A family. Home. Family. Home. Family. Home. Family.
He had felt so loved.
She had not yelled but screamed when time broke and pulled him back after they archived their perfect ending. She was the one to notice first and she had screamed his name with the others. Concerned. Scared.
Loving.
But... that never happened here right? He never was family with them in this timeline. They somehow still liked him, they were... friends? Probably? Maybe?
She had attacked him.
We don't hurt friends, Odile!
She had attacked him when he refused to attack them. She had attacked him. She wouldn't attack a friend, family.
But he hadn't earned being family yet. Maybe now he never will.
It's fine. They are fine. Everything is fine.
Maybe. Hopefully.
Damn, Isa was looking at him all worried again, he had gotten lost in his own head again, huh?
“Sif...?”
“Ah uh...” Siffrin swallowed again. “Uh. Yeah. Uhm. Talking?”
“Yeah talking. No yelling, remember? Just us adults having a talk. Later, okay?” a big, warm hand pets on their shoulder. It felt so nice. He wanted more. He wanted to run away and hide. “You rest up. And really, don't worry. Really. Sif, really, don't worry.” he was smiling and Sif was worrying anyway. “We gonna get you up to speed later okay?”
Siffrin could only nod. They slowly laid back into the warm bed and maybe felt a bit more drowsy than they had assumed first.
The world doesn't make any sense anymore. But maybe.
Maybe.
It's.
Fine.
There was some, or well, a LOT of food later. Bonnie had cooked some dish with rice and meat and vegetables that was just spicy enough to warm Sif through and through. There was touching too which was WONDERFUL and scary but also the best ever.
Mira had hugged him. Full on. Tears in her eyes and words mushed together that Siffrin couldn't really follow. They had hugged back tightly, letting themself get lost in her scent of plums and wood and sunshine.
“You idiot.” she had said, or at least that was the thing Siffrin could get out of it. “Going out and getting into another fight? We were all worried.”
That was really not a conversation they wanted to have right now in this instant (but they needed to talk right? Feelings-Buddies with Mira, the whole timeloop-stuff with Odile, more feelings with Isabeau... … … pineapples with Bonnie? Sounded right. And Loop. Loop with everybody. Should he tell them everything? Should they tell them who Loop is, was, used to be?) so he told her later. Later, please, when they are alone.
And she listened (they never listened before, its nice, its new!) and smiled.
So they spend the rest of the day together, all five of them with food and hugs and laughter. They told him about what was going on out there, about the party, about the efforts to rebuilt.
Siffrin enjoyed that. Basked in the presents of their friends.
Also probably ate their body-weight in food. Bonnie had made them the malanga fritters he would have had made in the house and well... Siffrin was never good at holding themself back when there was something they really really wanted.
Also Bonnie seemed overjoyed at them enjoying the food so it was a win-win.
He was happily munching on maybe his fifth bowl of them when Bonnie sat down next to him, looking at him with their big eyes.
“Frin?” they said, quietly and Siffrin turned to them, cheeks still full of food. They made an acknowledging sound.
“You really feeling better?”
Siffrin swallowed heavily before nodding, patting Bonnie's head. “I'm fine.” they said with a smile.
“No more stupid stuff like running off?”
“No...” Sif said, smiling. “I promise.”
“You Super Promise?”
“Yeah.”
“Super duper promise?”
Siffrin chuckled. “Of course.”
So Bonnie hugged them. It was. Fine. Nice. Really nice. Really really nice. Sif hugged them back tightly.
Part of his heart finally settled again. His kid was right here. Bonnie was here, alive and well and warm and their heart fluttering close to theirs. It was fine, it was all fine. The King was gone, the Loops were gone, and Bonnie was fine, alive and well.
“No more running off.” Sif said quietly.
“You better not.” huffed Bonnie and looked up. “I gonna show you to my sister too. And I wanna show you my house, the school, the beach... all the cool things in Bamboche.” he said. “Me and my sister had a whole field with vegetables too! And there were lots of fruit on the market. I can make even more amazing snacks like that!”
Siffrin chuckled, petting Bonnie a bit more.
“I'd love to see it.” they said.
“So get better really quickly, okay?” Bonnie said. “Isa said you need to sleep and eat a lot before we can go so... you do that okay?”
Siffrin nodded.
“Eating and sleeping” they said with a small wink. “Nothing I can do better than that.”
“I mean it.” huffed Bonnie. “You better rest up. It's a looooong walk to Bambouche.”
“I remember it.”
They seemed satisfied with that and just gave Siffrin a new bowl of fritters.
He was almost to distracted to notice Isabeau chuckling at him. He still looked up, making a sound that might have been “Mmfffhhhgh?” but Isa seemed to understand them perfectly.
“You are making a hamster cheek face when you eat.” Isa said, still laughing softly.
It wasn't something new but it was comfortable and warm so Sif smiled and continued eating.
It wasn't long before Bonnie started to yawn more and more so Isa carried their little, half-asleep body to bed to what Sif presumed was another room in... wherever they were.
It wasn't the clocktower (thank the STARS for that!) and not the house and as far as he knew there wasn't any Inn in the town...
But really did it matter?
Isa returned shortly after and sat down again, next to Siffrin and Siffrin felt himself leaning a bit towards him. Just a tiny bit of touch. Just a bit.
He turned in an out of the talk that continued from there. It finally all came back to the King.
“They are having a discussion right now what to do with the king.” Mira said, munching on some assorted nuts. “He is still up there. Frozen in time but well...”
“He got a lot smaller so he could be moved.” Isabeau said. “So everybody is wondering. Like.... what do you do with him? He is not dead, but... he is not moving ever again.”
“Nobody can use timecraft again.” Siffrin added slowly. Nobody could ever use timecraft anymore. Because it would kill anybody trying.
Maybe they should really remove the books on wishcraft from the library.
Nobody could read them anyway but... a part of Siffrin feels protective of them. Of Wishcraft, of the rituals. Its apparently all that is left from his country, his culture, his craft and believes. The Universe leads and they follow.
But he really isn't following anymore, is he?
“I do wonder where the king is from.” Odile said slowly. “We did find out his is not from here, in the house. And the Head Housemaiden did confirm it. But we don't really know what his customs would be. In that case.”
Siffrin remembered the talk. About what to do. Pressing ashes into diamonds, burying under trees. They themself don't remember but...
Keep my ashes with you
They hadn't had that talk here. It never happened. Siffrin wondered if it happened for the others anyway, without him there.
“Siffrin?” Odile turned to him, talking to him. Siffrin almost flinched but forced himself to relax. Its Odile. She wouldn't hurt him. We don't hurt friends.
Siffrin made a confirming sound, trying to downplay just how much panic he was still feeling.
She forgave them. She patted them. Told them it was kinda cute that they almost ended the whole world just because he loved them so much. She had SMILED.
Isa said she wouldn't yell. She didn't yell so far.
Maybe they were still okay. Maybe they would be fine. It was fine, fine, fine, they were friends... hopefully.
“Uh... yeah?”
“Did you found out in those... loops?” she asked. “You did seem to have some... extensive knowledge on other matters.”
Siffrin really didn't wanted to talk about his... extensive knowledge. But... But...
Talk to them!
“The king came from that vanished island, up north.” Sif started, slowly. Odile seemed to perk up at that. “Apparently he loved Vaugarde so much because... well... he woke up here with no memories at all.” Sif looked own, away from the others. “That is what happened if you... came from there but was not there when it vanished. It takes everything related to it from you. So you forget everything. Your past, country, childhood, culture, believes, even the language. In turn anybody who... might have known you from before? They would forget you too...” Sif took a deep breath and very much not looked at Odile. She probably figured it out anyway but he didn't want her to see this easily. “And Vaugarde gave him that back. Welcomed him. So he wanted to preserve it, so it won't be taken from him too.” So that he wouldn't be left alone again. Siffrin had sympathized with him. Until the King had reached for Bonnie.... “He wished for Eternity. And the Universe gave him Timecraft to make it real.”
“... the same... universe... that gave you the timeloops?” Odile asked. Sif could only nod.
“We figured it out. In some loops.” he said quietly. “The king begged me to say the name of our country. Together. We... almost managed it. But something broke. So we couldn't.”
Sif felt Odile nod more than they saw her.
“So... you and the king...” asked Isabeau. “are you...?”
“We are from the same country.” Sif said slowly.
“Ohhhh!” Mira looked at Sif with big eyes. (did they upset her again?). “Siffrin, why didn't you tell us?”
“I uh... kinda figured most of that out in the loops.” Sif looked back at her. “And well... I wasn't... sure. About most of it. And its hard. Holding on to what little I DO know.” They said.
“The whole country that disappeared...” Odile said slowly. “And wishcraft was used two times. Once by the king. Once by you, Siffrin.”
There was a silence between them for a bit. Almost awkward but... not quite. Not really. Siffrin was the first to break it.
“... we burn the dead.” he said, slowly. “And the loved ones take the ashes with them on a journey. Sometimes the ashes get thrown in the wind. Sometimes the ashes gets sprinkled on special places or objects. But... I think most gets taken home by friends and loved ones.”
At least that is what felt... right. Back then, at that moment when they were talking about it in the House. He had wanted them to take his ashes with them.
“So... I guess putting the king somewhere in Vaugarde is... fine.” Siffrin said. “He probably... would have wanted that. … you could even put him under a tree. It's fine.”
“I don't know if we should put him out in the open.” Mira said, frowning. “The craft that keeps him frozen might leek from him at some point. So maybe... maybe he should stay in the house. Maybe somewhere more... remote.”
Siffrin shrugged. “I guess he wouldn't mind.”
Mira nodded and looked at Siffrin more seriously.
“So... you and the king talked?”
Siffrin made a face.
“I found... out things. When I was trying to figure out what had happened. At first I thought... maybe the Change God had blessed me with the Loops to help us defeat the king. Then I thought the King himself trapped me, because he said he recognized timecraft on me. Or well... more like the wishcraft. So I tried to find out more about him.” Siffrin looked down. “I did try to talk to him. To make him give up. To make him see that what he was doing was... hurting the thing he loves. … it didn't work.” they added quietly. “I didn't try again after that.”
“Oh.” said Mira, sounding lost and helpless and Siffrin didn't know how to make it better.
“How are you feeling about that then?” asked Odile, looking at them over the rim of her glasses.
“Feeling? About what?” asked Siffrin, confused.
“About the King. About us... basically freezing or killing one of your... people?”
Siffrin felt a cold shiver over his whole body.
“He... isn't a friend or family.” he stated, voice breaking embarrassingly easy. “I don't remember anything from before so it doesn't matter even if he was. He tried to freeze the whole country. He tried to kill all of us. He did a few times! He...”
Large hands reaching for Bonnie, for his kid, and this time he couldn't move, he couldn't do anything, he had to watch, to listen, to WITNESS Bonnie...
“No matter what he and I used to be before.” Siffrin said with a shutter. “He wasn't... he wasn't kin at that point. … I... I could understand why at a point. But...”
But he hurt Bonnie. He killed BONNIE. Siffrin might have mourned the King if he hadn't killed Bonnie. If he had just killed Siffrin over and over and over, it would have been fine. He would have understood, he would have forgiven him.
He had forgiven Loop after all.
Loop at least never made him watch his family die. They caused it, once, kinda. But they didn't made him watch.
“I am just glad he is gone.” Siffrin said, looking Odile into her eyes.
“I see.” she said, nodding. “And Loop?”
Siffrin flinched. “What... about Loop?”
“They seemed to share a lot of... mannerism with you. They had the same accent. Were they... from that country too?”
Siffrin looked away. They promised no more secrets but... this was not his to share. Or was it? It felt... wrong either way. To keep quiet and to tell.
“... I guess so.” he finally said, quietly. “There... are some things about them... that they probably should tell themself. But....”
“You don't know if they will?”
“They did disappear after...”
“After you two fought?” asked Odile sharply.
“It wasn't like that...”
“You were even more bruised and burned out when you returned...”
“It's fine. They needed to get some stuff out. The loops weren't just bad for me.”
Odile looked at Siffrin as if she wanted to argue the point but did lean back, letting it go.
“If you say so, Siffrin, I will respect your decision.” she said. “But take care not to get hurt anymore alright?”
“I will.” Sif said softly.
It felt strange. It all felt strange. But... also nice. Warm.
Nobody did yell at him, at the end. They were talking, planning for their journey they would undertake soon.
“So you really are okay with touch?” asked Isa, after Siffrin leaned against him when getting tired, while Mira and Odile were looking over a map.
“Uh...” said Sif, looking around. Mira and Odile were looking at them now too. “I... no? I... … I honestly don't know why you thought so.”
“But... but you were JUMPING every time we touched you!” Mira cried out, eyes wide. “We thought we were making you uncomfortable!”
Siffrin had heard that one before. In the loops. Still. It... it was still strange to hear it.
You actually need to talk to them, stardust.
No. Nope. Not thinking about his own inner voice now sounding a bit like Loop. That was a job for the future-more-awake-Siffrin to deal with!
“I was... just not used to it.” Siffrin said instead. “... really, I... I'd like it. It's fine.”
Isa looked like he wanted to say something but he seemed to stop himself. Some things never change huh? Still, Mira came crawled over and hugged him again. She smelled like plums and sunshine. It was nice.
“Just TELL us next time, Siffrin.” she said quietly. “I gonna hug you so much!”
Sif just chuckled despite everything. It was warm and nice and Isa was joining the hug after a few seconds and yeah.
Yeah this was good. This was really good.
He might have heard Odile chuckling.
When they slept that night they dreamed of an endless sky of stars and the gentle laughter of a lazy god.