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Riku: So … what's up?
Kairi: Well … Sora proposed last night.
Riku: (tone carefully neutral) Oh… he didn't tell me. Well, congrats.
Kairi: I didn't say yes.
Riku: … What ?
Kairi: (clasping her hands behind her back, looking into the distance) Don't get me wrong. I want to. I'm pretty sure Sora's the only one for me.
Riku: (clearly off-kilter) Then, why…? You know he feels the same way about you. Everyone knows that.
Kairi: See … I'm not so sure.
Riku: How can you say that? You know what he did for you at the final battle. You're the catalyst, the thing he's always chasing. It's always been you.
Kairi: (gently) Not always.
Riku: (incredulous) What?
Kairi: It hasn't always been me.
(Kairi sits down next to Riku, intentionally so close that Riku must pause his rebuttal. She makes full eye contact, serious but kind. Riku moves away but does not look away.)
Kairi: Riku, I like to think I know my boyfriend pretty well. (She reaches out, puts her hand on Riku's. Riku flinches.) There are two people Sora has repeatedly crossed space and time to find. Always two. It's not just me.
Riku: (flabbergasted laugh) What are you trying to say? I'm his oldest friend. Of course he came after me; that's what Sora does. His heart is so big that he'll put it on the line for a near-stranger. That doesn't make me special. (He roughly rubs a hand up his face and into his hair.) Besides, why are you making it sound like we're the same? I'm like a brother to him. You're his …. Love. Of course Sora would say we're both important, but it's clearly not the same. He doesn't see me like … that. (He sighs.) Honestly, I can't follow what you're thinking at all.
Kairi: Hmmm… (She stands again.) Hey, what would you say is my worst quality?
Riku: Huh? (exasperated bark of a laugh) What is this conversation? I feel crazy. Are you messing with me?
Kairi: (playful) Come on. The absolute most annoying thing about me. I can handle it.
Riku: Does this conversation count?
Kairi: (softer, serious) Please. Humor me.
Riku: (sighs) I don't know. (Pause.) Probably the way you just go off and decide something on your own.
Kairi: (giggles) What do you mean?
Riku: You just … do or say whatever you want. Your mind's already made up on whatever it is and you didn't talk to anybody beforehand. And you're always so … certain. It's like it's not even worth trying to talk you out of whatever it is, even if it's stupid.
Kairi: (laughs) That's so funny. It sounds like you're talking about Sora.
Riku: (crosses his arms) At least he's not so smug about it. (A stretch of comfortable silence.) … But … yeah. I guess you guys are alike in a few ways like that. It's like you two have this radio frequency that only the other one can pick up. Even when we're all together, all having the same conversation, somehow it's like I'm still missing something.
Riku: (volume lowering, almost inaudible.) … A secret I don't get to share.
(Kairi doesn't say anything, doesn't let on if she heard.)
Kairi: I guess we do always kind of understand each other. Even if we don't say it.
Riku: Yeah. (head lowering now, tone almost sullen) Better than I understand either of you.
Kairi: …Would you believe me then, if I told you I knew something about Sora that you didn't?
Riku: (hesitating, suspicious) I don't know. Probably? I guess it would depend on what it was.
(Kairi comes to stand in front of Riku's hunched form. She squats, arms on her knees, and they're at eye level. But she doesn't ask Riku to look at her, so he doesn't.)
Kairi: I know how Sora looks at me. I know it's different from the way he looks at Donald or Goofy or his other friends.
Riku: (snorting) …Okay? Good for you? I guess I'd be sad for Sora if you didn't.
Kairi: Riku.
Riku: Kairi.
Kairi: Come on. Look at me? Please?
(Riku looks up, face set, eyes hard. Kairi stands her ground, her expression unchanging.)
Kairi: Riku, Sora looks at you differently from the way he looks at his other friends.
Riku: Why do you keep saying that?
Kairi: Because I'm sad for Sora.
(They stare at each other, a silent stand-off. Riku buckles first, something dark and fragile crossing his face. He looks down again.)
Riku: You're wrong.
Kairi: (standing again, crossing her arms) Even though I understand Sora better than you do?
Riku: Well, you're wrong about this.
Kairi: How can you be so sure?
Riku: I just am. Okay?
Kairi: How?
Riku: (exploding with volume) Because he CAN'T feel that way about me.
Kairi: (gentler) Why?
Riku: …
Kairi: …Is it that scary to hope?
Riku: (stands suddenly, turning away) This is stupid. I'm leaving.
Kairi: Riku, no, please. We were finally getting somewhere.
Riku: You were getting nowhere. And I'm not letting you jerk me around while you do it.
Kairi: (voice rising slightly) So you're running away again?
Riku: (coldly) Sure, if you want to see it that way. Better than pretending to have courage while everyone fights my battles for me. (He begins to walk away.)
Kairi: (voice tight, trembling) You don't have to be cruel.
(Riku stops. At first he doesn't move, fists clenching and releasing. Then he turns. His expression is flat, but his eyes are frightening.)
Riku: If I'm cruel, what are you?
Kairi: (stills, confused) …What?
Riku: You ask me to come here, and you rub your happiness with Sora in my face. I excuse it because it's not your fault, you don't know how I feel. You tell me you won't commit to the biggest, most generous heart in existence, because you don't have ALL of his attention? Having the most incredible person in the world be hopelessly in love with you isn't enough for you?
Kairi: (tensing, flushing) Don't be stupid. You know that wasn't what I was doing.
Riku: No. You were dangling my deepest shame in front of me. That I know Sora is yours, that I've always known, and I still can't just shut up and be happy for you both. That no matter how much I play at being the supportive friend, I'm bitter, and jealous, and empty.
Kairi: Riku…
Riku: I would never get between you two, because Sora's happiness is the most precious thing I can protect, and of course YOU make him happy. (Riku deflates slightly.) Of course you do. You're gentle and strong and beautiful and good . You shine brightly just by existing.
(Riku exhales, and suddenly everything seems brittle.)
Riku: I could never get between you two. Even when I tried to, desperately. I baited and belittled and bullied my best friend so that he'd be too distracted with me to give his entire over-sized heart to you. But it didn't matter. Because you and Sora fit. You're meant to be together. You're inevitable. And me? I'm just a sad, mean little boy that breaks what he touches.
Kairi: …
Riku: And then you tell me that I'm getting between you two anyway? That you're doubting the bond so strong that the greatest forces of evil couldn't break it … all because Sora is too good to just get rid of me, like he should have ages ago ? And … worst of all, now I know that you DO know how I feel. You let me believe I was hiding it, only to imply you've been watching me covet what's so obviously yours. And instead of doing something, you decided to let me just wallow in it. For … what?
(Kairi's mouth is open, but she doesn't speak. She's trembling.)
(Riku looks frail now. Defeated.)
Riku: And now, you talk like it doesn't matter to you. Like you could just let Sora go, because he opened his soul to you, and you decided NOW was the time to take pity on me? Why now, Kairi? What's the point, when he'll always choose you?! …What was the point of any of it?
(They look at each other, the air between them volatile. Strange.)
(Then Kairi's stillness dissolves. She's crying, but she's smiling. Then she's laughing, wiping at her eyes, and looking at Riku with such WARMTH. Riku stares.)
Kairi: (voice watery and light) You big jerk! You big, dumb, wonderful jerk!
(Riku stares. Unmoored. Unsure.)
Kairi: Why are you always so mean when your heart is so BIG? Hah, jeez, I can't stand you.
(Kairi tries to wipe her tears away, but they keep falling, her face becoming ruddy and blotched. Riku doesn't move.)
Kairi: I'm sorry I pushed too hard. But if you ever actually LISTENED to me, instead of just assuming you know everything, you wouldn't have to lash out and then hide in your "stoic cool-guy" shell, like you're a hermit crab and not an actual person.
Riku: …
Kairi: (sniffling) I just needed you to admit it, that's all. To let me just peek inside your heart for a second, so I knew I wasn't making a mistake. Because unlike how you seem to think of me, I didn't really know. I had a feeling, and I trust my feelings, but I wanted to be sure. (Her laugh is victorious. Nearly hysterical.) But what a peek!
(Kairi quiets, her face growing serious. She stares into Riku's eyes, gaze kind and melancholy.)
Kairi: I can't imagine what it must be like to feel everything so deeply. It probably feels like, if you don't keep your feet on the ground, those emotions will swallow you whole. It seems kind of terrifying.
Riku: …It can be.
Kairi: Yeah?
Riku: …
Kairi: But, I mean, if that's what everything is like for you, it also makes you … powerful, in a way? You're a well so deep that a shallower person would drown, haha.
Riku: … Kairi?
Kairi: (sniffles) Hmm?
Riku: … What's happening? What are you doing?
(Kairi smiles, and it's loving but secretive. Mischievous.)
Riku: (narrowing his eyes) Have you been trying to make me angry? Were you actually messing with me?
Kairi: Hmm … only a little.
Riku: (covering his face in his hands, flopping back down to the ground, flat on his back) Ugh, I feel like I've lost my mind!
(Kairi walks over and sits down next to where Riku is. Neither speaks for a while.)
Kairi: You okay?
Riku: (covering his eyes with the crook of his arm) No. …Yes? Hell, I don't know. I still don't know why you decided to rip my heart out and make me look at it, but I'm choosing to trust that you had a good reason.
Kairi: I appreciate that.
Riku: I kind of feel like either you've really changed, or … maybe I never really knew who you were.
Kairi: I think you did. Just … time with nothing but bad feelings can distort stuff, you know?
Riku: …Are you okay? I just said some really, really horrible shit to you.
Kairi: (mischievous giggle) I'm pleased as punch.
Riku: (snorts) Yeah? Well, good, I guess.
(Silence stretches, punctuated only by the everpresent sounds of the island. Wind. Gulls. Waves.)
Kairi: Is it weird that I kind of liked seeing you like that? It felt … nostalgic, like before the door opened the first time. Back when you were hot-headed and arrogant and had to win every conversation.
Riku: (lowering his arm, staring at the sky) That is definitely weird.
Kairi: Haha, yeah?
Riku: You shouldn't enjoy someone being that mad at you.
Kairi: Yeah … you're probably right.
Riku: …
Kairi: Still, though. I like who you've grown into. You're steady and reliable. You're exactly the kind of presence Sora needs when things get tough. But … sometimes it kind of feels like you hold a part of yourself back. Like you treat Sora like glass.
Riku: I do not. Do I? Because I am fully aware that Sora is one of the strongest fighters I've ever met, and can find more than a handful of ways to kick my ass. … And his heart is stronger than mine could ever be.
Kairi: But you're so quiet and gentle around him now. And not just around him, but around everyone. You're almost never the first person to speak up anymore. You hardly ever debate with anybody. And even when you tease Sora like you used to, it's subdued. You never risk making him angry or pushing him too far. Like you're always repenting, not just for the things you'd done, but for the way you were before.
Riku: …Is that such a bad thing? I don't like who I was before.
Kairi: No, I don't think it's bad. It makes sense to want to be better than who you used to be. I just hope there aren't old parts of yourself you're trying to bury because you're afraid no one will accept them.
Riku: …
Kairi: And for the record? You may not like who you used to be, but I did. Sora did.
Riku: But I was such a …
Kairi: Dick?
(Riku bursts into shocked laughter. Kairi grins.)
Riku: Hahahahahah, yes. That.
Kairi: I mean yeah, you were, but. You were so passionate. Your drive, your relentless energy. It was too intense, and kind of scary sometimes, but it was also contagious. Dick or not, we would have followed you anywhere. Sora probably would have followed you to the end of the world. … In a way, I guess he did.
Riku: …
Kairi: And before you go getting all broody again, Scowlface, I really do like this Riku. Just, for what it's worth, I also liked that Riku. And sometimes I miss how unapologetic he was. I wonder if Sora does too.
Riku: (hesitant but playful) …What, you've never asked?
Kairi: Oh, didn't you hear? Apparently it's weird to talk about liking when someone's a jerk to you.
Riku: Yep, definitely weird.
(The silence is warmer.)
Riku: … So … you said you had a feeling, but you needed to make sure, so you didn't make a mistake?
Kairi: Yep, I did.
Riku: I think I'm ready to listen now.
(Kairi takes a moment to speak, drawing on the ground idly with her finger.)
Kairi: You know, when this place was back … when I was back, but you two were still gone. It felt like I had to pretend to keep living while everything I cared about was happening somewhere without me. The only way I could feel like I was with either of you was to go over old memories in my head. …Then, when my memories of Sora were stolen and I got them back, I decided that I would never lose him again. I memorized every single scrap of Sora I had until I could look at my memories clear as photographs. Until I knew his little details the way I knew my own. That way, when I saw him again, it would be like I got a part of myself back.
Riku: …
Kairi: And then the three of us were together again, in that place. I was able to fight for Sora, to actually do something, and you were there with me, as much as you could be in that body.
Riku: …
And then Sora'd found us, and even though he was taller, older, so handsome now, he still felt like my Sora. When we hugged, it felt like I'd gotten what I wanted. I was finally whole again. But then you were going to leave without telling Sora who you were, and that was so unfair that I had to stop you.
Riku: …
Kairi: And I figured, if I could see through the illusion, then Sora could too. After all, we were extensions of each other, weren't we? So I put his hand in yours and had him close his eyes, like I had. And it worked. He did see you. Except …
Riku: Except?
Kairi: When I saw how he looked at you, it didn't match. I'd never seen him look at you like that before. I thought, 'Oh, this one's new.' But then I couldn't shake the thought that this memory … that this Sora , didn't belong to me. So I let go. And then … the way he held your hand … and sobbed …
Riku: Trust me, I remember. I hated being seen like that. So … exposed, my sins literally on display. And that dumb, beautiful soul, so happy to see me that it seemed like the constant fear I'd lived in up to that point was too silly to even be acknowledged. It's embarrassing to think about.
Kairi: (softly) I'll admit, it was really hard to see Sora look at you like that. But not because I was jealous , or at least I don't think so. It was because I saw that the carefully reconstructed Sora in my head, the lifeline I'd made to keep myself afloat until I could find you two again, didn't fit the real thing anymore. He'd changed without me, and you'd changed without me, and I was just a silly girl with a fantasy who'd been left behind while the world kept moving. You two felt so far away, even though you were right in front of me. It felt like I was being pulled away again, watching Sora slip from my fingers while a prison materialized beneath my feet.
Riku: Kairi…
Kairi: No, it's okay. (She stops drawing, leaning back and stretching her feet.) I got over it. It took a while, but I realized that, even if the three of us would never be on the same footing again, I could at least work hard enough to catch up to Sora. I knew Sora would wait for me.
Riku: …
Kairi: One good thing did come from that time alone, though. Now, noticing something new about Sora was as easy as seeing a change in the mirror. I could learn his details all over again, even faster this time. It was so good knowing that I could watch Sora change and not feel like I was losing him. … And as I watched, the Sora from that day – the one who didn't belong to me, who shut out everything except him and you – reappeared, again, and again. I watched as that Sora – Riku's Sora – incorporated into the Sora I loved until it was as much a part of him as his blue eyes and his impossible hair. As much a part of him as the part I knew would love me even after we're both dead and gone.
(Riku is still. So still, his breath barely registers.)
Kairi: And I realized that, if I let the man I love go through his life, marrying me and just assuming that was all there was for him, that he'd always be only so fulfilled. And I want more for him than that.
(A beat of silence. Two beats. Three.)
Riku: (carefully) So … what are you suggesting?
Kairi: I'm not entirely sure? That's why I needed to talk to you first.
Riku: Well, I'm not sure how helpful I'm going to be. It sounds like you're proposing that we … I don't know … share Sora? (He sighs, then chuckles humorlessly.) Assuming you're right – assuming Sora does … share my feelings, to the point that he'd want to act on them … How would that even work?
Kairi: Apparently people do do it sometimes. It seems like the biggest things are being honest at all times … and being confident enough to say what you will and won't put up with, then sticking to that. Seems like it'll be difficult, and it tends to go wrong a lot, but it's really rewarding when it goes right.
(Riku looks at her, eyebrows raised.)
Kairi: (shrugging, a bit shyly) I looked it up. I wanted to see if it'd been done before, and what I could learn from people who'd been there.
(Riku turns back to look at the sky, brow furrowed, a small, crooked smile twisting his lips.)
Riku: You looked up the protocol for letting your husband have sex with someone else.
Kairi: Hey, not my husband yet. And try to make it sound dirty or weird all you want, Judgy, but I think Sora's special enough to love us both with his whole heart and have neither of us feel like we're missing out. And I know you agree with me that Sora's worth trying for.
Riku: (sighing again, but gently) I can't argue with that. Sora's worth everything. (He inhales.) And … thank you for thinking about this so much. You putting in the research means that, if I agree to whatever this crazy thing is that you're suggesting, then at least we'll have the best chance of it actually working.
(Riku sits up, turning slightly toward Kairi. His posture is open now, less guarded.)
Riku: Honestly, Kairi, how could you be so willing to put your relationship to the side, even a little, for anyone else's sake? How is anyone that unselfish?
Kairi: (smiling warmly) I guess I just trust that neither of you would ever really hurt me, no matter what happens.
Riku: Sora has definitely earned that trust, but me? After all my mistakes?
Kairi: (studying Riku, smile mysterious) Have you ever noticed that the only one who thinks you still need punishment is you?
(Riku looks down, saying nothing for a time.)
Riku: So … does that mean … you've truly forgiven me?
Kairi: Forgiven you?
Riku: For everything I did to you back then, before Sora freed your heart.
Kairi: (smacking his shoulder playfully) You big doofus. I forgave you years ago.
Riku: I know, but … I guess I never understood how you could forgive me. I opened the door that ripped our home apart and caused you to lose your heart. Then, when Maleficent showed me where to find your body, I kidnapped it and drug it behind me like a doll to make Sora chase me. I told myself it was out of love for you, but looking back – it wasn't about you at all. And … maybe I had started to resent you even back then, and I hadn't fully figured it out yet. I humiliated you when you couldn't fight back, and I wasn't sorry.
(Riku turns and levels Kairi with his gaze. His eyes are roiling with emotion, despite the bland frown on his face. Kairi blinks, body still, eyes wide.)
Riku: I am sorry now. Kairi, I am so, so sorry.
Kairi: (relaxing, touched) I forgive you, Riku.
(Riku hangs his head and puts his face in his hands. He lets out a harsh, full-bodied exhale.)
Kairi: (gently nudging him with her side) So do you believe me this time?
Riku: (letting his hands slide off his face, lifting a small smile) I think I'm starting to.
Kairi: You know, I think I was wrong when I called your heart a deep well before. No, it's more like…You want people to believe that you're this serene lake, still and calm unless your surface is disturbed. But I think your heart is more like that ocean, right out there. Full of life and mystery and danger. You've got some strong currents in there.
Riku: Yeah, well. Not everyone can get a rise out of me like this.
Kairi: Ooh, does that make me special?
Riku: Don't be dumb. You know you're special.
Kairi: …
Riku: …
Kairi: You're wrong, by the way.
Riku: Huh?
Kairi: I'm not being unselfish. Sure, the main reason I want this is because I think it will make Sora happy, and I want Sora to be happy because I love him. But I love you too, and I can't stand the way you hold yourself around us lately.
Riku: Hold myself?
Kairi: Things had been so good for a while; maybe you hadn't seemed happy, but at least you were more at peace than you'd been. But then, the longer the world went on not ending , you got restless again. And you'd look at us and I could feel you closing off and … Now it's like your whole soul is a clenched fist. I'd love it if you could let go, even if it's just a little and only for Sora.
Riku: …
Kairi: (with a sad smile) And … I'd love it if we could be friends again.
Riku: … Well, until today, I guess I thought we still were friends.
Kairi: (knowingly) Are you sure about that?
Riku: …
Kairi: … The way I see it, your friendship with Sora thrived on competition. Ours … never really did.
Riku: …
Kairi: (quietly) I miss you. This is the most we've talked in ages.
Riku: I'm sorry.
Kairi: Stop apologizing, okay? I don't want that. Just … there is so much love here for you, Riku. All you have to do is reach out and take it.
Riku: Okay.
Kairi: (smiling) Okay.
Riku: So … what do we do now?
Kairi: Well, I'm going off-world for a while. Not long; just a day or two. Think I'll go hang out with Aqua, maybe do some reading up on the history of Keyblade wielder dating culture.
Riku: Right after rejecting the proposal? If I were Sora, I wouldn't be happy about that. … Wait, what does Sora think is happening? What did you tell him?
Kairi: Well, when he asked … I may or may not have started crying. And then, um. Kept crying. I told him I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I agreed right away, because his heart is missing something it needs. Something I can't give it. I told him I wanted him to find that missing something, and to let me know the moment he does, because then I'd happily say yes.
Riku: Wow, that confused me. I bet Sora's brain is scrambled eggs right now.
Kairi: Well, I pretty much came to see you immediately after, so Sora might be a bit of a mess when you see him. Heh, sorry about that.
Riku: … You talk like it's all going to be so easy. Like I'll be able to go up to him and say "Hey, sorry the love of your life doesn't want to marry you. Wanna make out?" And he'll just say yes.
Kairi: Oh, I know you'll sound cooler than that.
Riku: But don't you get it? I might not be able to say anything at all. I've kept this thing inside me locked away for so long so I could give Sora the friend he needed. I don't know if I even know how to do anything different around him.
(Kairi hugs him. Riku flinches at first, stiff, but eventually returns it.)
Kairi: Be brave, Oceanheart. Sora's a good swimmer.