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As a student studying to take the enterence exam for the Akademia, it was only natural for Collei to have lots of work to get through on any given day. It didn’t help that, because of her chronic illness, she often would struggle to finish it all within a set timeframe.
Unfortunatly, she’d started having headaches a few months back which would put a damper on any work she attempted to get done.
Had it just been headaches, she probably would have been fine, but the headaches came with bone-deep fatuige as well as brain fog.
Pain, she could deal with; fatuige, she could not. The same went for stomach-related issues; Collei could deal with pain but as soon as nausea showed up, she was done.
Of course, if the pain was bad enough then she’d winde up curled up in bed regardless, but she’d much rather have severe pain then severe fatigue or nausea.
As Collei slowly but surely made her way through her written work, she failed to register her aching head. She had started becoming foggy and her work was taking much more time than it should. Soon it got to the point where it was impossible not to notice and when it did, Collei wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed, head resting on her soft, fluffy pillow.
Of course, Collei being Collei, she gave herself a moment to rest her head in her hands before taking a few deep breaths and getting back to work.
No matter how hard Collei tried, she wasn’t really making any progress at all anymore. Her head had just started aching more and more until it reached its peak and she bent over, resting her forehead directly onto the cool desk. Collei stayed like that until Tighnari came to check up on her a few hours later.
She debated trying to hide her headache from her master, but decided that she didn’t have the energy and let it be. As a result of this, Tighnari walked in on Collei, arms dangling at her sides, eyes closed, and forehead planted on the surface of her desk.
“Are you okay, Collei?” asked Tighnari, going up and examining his apprentice quietly.
It took a few seconds for the words to process.
Collei, slowly turning her head to the side to look at him, simply responded “I have a headache again” and Tighnari placed a gentil hand on her upper back.
Tighnari smiled sadly and put away Collei’s things for her before saying “I’ll get you some water and something to eat, you think you can get to your bed ok?”
Collei nodded before standing up, slowly as she could, and instantly regretting it. As soon as she was upright, her head exploded with new-found pain and her vision blurred as it filled with white spots. Swaying where she stood, Collei’s master gave her his arm to lean on.
“Thanks” she muttered, holding her head in one hand as they slowly made their way over to her bed. All of her joints were aching and she longed desperately to lie down. By the time they got there, Collei was leaning most of her weight onto Tighnari.
Once Collei was laying down, she felt astronomically better.
Still bad, but better.
It didn’t take long for Tighnari to come back with a tall glass of water and some salted nuts that they kept for times like this specifically.
When she saw him, Collei slowly sat up. It aggravated her headache but she could do nothing about it so she just leaned back, positioning her pillow where her head was and accepting the water first.
Tighnari sat down on the bed, lightly massaging Collei’s head with his free hand as he waiting for her to be done drinking so he could take the glass. Once she was halfway through that water, Collei looked down at the glass and said “Thank you for helping me so much, I really appreciate it. I know I don’t say it much but it means a lot.”
It shocked him at first but then Tighnari smiled. “Collei, you don’t need to thank me; family takes care of one another, and you are a part of my family.”
Collei drank the rest of the water before exchanging the cup for the bowl of nuts, momentarily mourning the loss of contact as Tighnari pulled his hand away. The water had made her vaguely nauseous but that was normal.
Once Tighnari had started up again with massaging her head, Collei leaned into the comforting touch of her mentor’s hand against her aching head. She slowly but surely finished the bowl of nuts and soon started to feel a bit better, but she knew from expeirience that, if she were to try doing anything, the pain would just come back full force.
Handing the bowl to Tighnari, Collei laid down and placed her head on the pillow with her hips popping and cracking loudly on the way. She felt her stomach slosh sickeningly and it let out a few upset gurgles as she wrapped one of her arms loosely around it.
Tighnari didn’t question it, instead asking “Does your head feel better at all?”
He revived a small nod as he placed the now-empty dishes on the bedside table to be cleaned later. Pretty soon, one hand was combing through Collei’s hair to help her fall asleep. The two were both well aware that the only way to get rid of these headaches was water, salt, and rest. It wasn’t like Collei wasn’t getting these things- she was taking care of herself as best she could- but sometimes her body would randomly decide it wasn’t enough. There were other times that nothing worked and she’d wake up still plagued with the same mix of pounding and pressure encompassing her brain.
As Collei lay there in her bed, she tried not to move too much. It was hard when both her hips felt like they were on fire and her back felt like it was being stabbed and her lungs felt compressed and the water she’d drank felt like it was halfway up her throat and her head was so foggy and it hurt and her stomach hurt and-
It was hard for Collei to imagine a life where she didn’t have to deal with any of these things; even if there was a time where she was better, she’d already forgotten what it felt like.
The first headache had happened a few months prior and since then they’d been a weekly occurrence. She didn’t remember not anticipating the next time her head would abruptly become a pressure chamber.
A year prior she rarely had any of her joins slip out, but know it happened multiple times a day. She didn’t remember being able to walk without shuffling.
Four years ago she could drink a glass of water and not feel sick and bloated from it. She didn’t remember what it was like feeling nothing after putting something in her stomach.
There were so many little things that Collei wishes she would have cherished, but they were all long gone and never to return.
Maybe if she had an illness that could be put into remission then it’d be different.
Maybe if she had an illness that didn’t progress so quickly then it’d be different.
In reality Collei could wish all she wanted, but nothing would come of it.
A day would come where she would be bound to her bed and it was approaching much faster than she was comfortable with. Most people reached that point when they aproched 90 years, for her it could be 40 or maybe even 30; Collei had no way of predicting the future, all she knew was that it was fast aproaching.
For now, Collei tried to focus on Tighnari’s hand in her hair. She willed herself to ignore everything but the gentle fingers on her scalp and, although it took a while, she did eventually fall asleep.
She dreamed of running and jumping and dancing in beautiful fields of flowers in the hopes that maybe, when she were dead, she could do those things once more.