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Hero was driving Normal back from Hermie’s house, they were saying their goodbyes as Hermie was headed up to NYU first, a day before Normal was. Hero chose to drive him instead of letting Normal take his car giving the excuse of it still needing to be packed, but it was actually because she wanted one last long drive with him, they didn’t get the opportunity to just drive around much anymore. She would always make sure to not make it through the yellow lights so they’d get held up at the red lights, Normal thought that was because she was such a safe driver, but what he didn’t know was that she only did this when he was in the car with her. Hero thought to herself, the only time I pray is when I pray for more red lights with you, so we can delay your destination as much as possible. She knew this was selfish, but it was her truth. She loved that boy more than words could describe. Hero was just shy of 5 years older than Normal and she can still remember when he came home from the hospital, the smallest thing she’d ever seen, so delicate, so peaceful; he still looked like that when she checked in on him at night while he was sleeping. Her concentration was broken when Normal spoke, “Why don’t you drive at night anymore? You used to all the time before.. Well before Dood went home.” He sounded so timid, like somehow even after 4 years of time passing and bi-monthly appointments with Dr. Stampler, he still felt unable to talk aloud what good they had all done.
“I got tired of the frat boys with their brights on, well everyone actually. When the sky changed it was like no one knew how to drive without them anymore, with how sensitive my eyes are to the lights it was just safer to no longer drive at night unless for emergencies.” That was most of the truth, the rest of it was she secretly missed the way the moon used to reflect the reddish hue, it used to remind her of developing pictures with her abuela as a young girl, Hero really missed having that connection to her. When the sky changed it took her last connection to Mercades since neither her dad nor uncle ever talked about either of the grandparents. Normal took her at face value, like he always did, and then turned up the radio so they could both sing along. Hero always sang softer so she could hear Normal more, him singing so carefree on their drives was her favorite part.
When they got home their uncle and mom were arguing about how to repack Normal’s car, again. Normal just walked right past them and pushed past their dad in the doorway as he was coming out to help sort out the yelling. Hero sighed and set her stuff down in the driveway and she started packing up the Prius; Normal now the 3rd owner of the old thing. There wasn’t much room, but Hero was a master at Tetris and putting a lot of things into small spaces was something she had always been good at. With a slam of the trunk the arguing stopped and the three just stared at her only just noticing her presence. As she gathered her things she asked the group, “Has anyone started on dinner yet?”, when she was only met with a sorry smile from her mom and some stammering from her dad she just rolled her eyes and headed for the kitchen.
About two hours later all five of them sat at the table eating the vegan lasagna Hero had made, one of Normal’s favorites, just talking to fill the silence. Only Uncle Lark was comfortable to sit in silence like her, it felt nice to know she wasn’t alone in that aspect. Normal would sit in silence with her sometimes, but usually only while she was reading and that only lasted a few minutes max until his questions about it started. She learned about a year into the irritation it was just best to start reading out loud to him so he would be quiet and she could still enjoy her book, plus he’d rest his head in her lap sometimes so she could play with his hair while she read and sometimes he’d fall asleep this way. Her perfectly imperfect brother trusting her to care for him like she’d always done. This was one of those nights. Their parents had gone to bed and their uncle went to the garage to likely get drunk to deal with the arguing from earlier and Hero was in her room reading when Normal walked in looking so drained. “Did you finally finish the last of your packing?” Hero asked while placing her homemade bookmark, Normal had made her back in his 2nd grade year, to hold her page. He didn’t answer her question, but instead changed the subject by asking her, “Has Cade shaved his head yet?” referring to the book she was reading, one of their favorites The Vast Fields of Ordinary. She answered, “No not yet, I just started it again so right now he’s telling his ceiling fan he’s gay”. Normal let out a soft chuckle as he curled up next to Hero, his head in her lap and let out a heavy sigh. She ran her fingers through his hair and picked up where she left off in the book reading to her audience of one now. Only a few pages in and he was snoring, fast asleep.
Hero put the book down and continued to talk quietly out loud knowing that if she stopped talking for too long it would wake him due to there being no noise machine in her room and his was likely packed away already. “Knowing you, you probably don’t think I remember the first time you told me you applied for NYU. To be fair you never do bring up the times I’m genuinely cruel, you’re a lot like dad in that way, just never mention it again and it’ll be like it never happened. But I remember. I remember before you got back from Hermie’s, Uncle Lark and I were getting drunk in the garage. He and mom got in a particularly heated fight and once I took his side in the argument all bets were off and dad lost his shit on the both of us, some pretty gnarly things were said that he didn’t mean, but the apology didn’t come until the next day so to cope Uncle Lark and I just sat in silence and drank way too much. I was stewing about everything in life that led up to that point, the year anniversary of me quitting the NASA gig had just happened and my mental health was already not great since the fighting in the house was at an all time high. Then you came in. All bright eyed, full of wonder and excitement, and it made me sick. I envied your ability to still find joy in the world at that moment. I learned how to stuff down my anger from dad, but I also learned how to wield that anger with precision from our uncle and you didn’t stand a chance in that moment. You started going on and on about how NYU was gonna be your big break, how this family could finally get it’s revival and you were actually going to make a difference. I stood up slowly, backed you up against the wall, and through clenched teeth shut you down, ‘It won't be by your own volition if you step foot out of this town. We’re all you have, for always.’ You shoved me back, tears in your eyes, and just ran to your room. I sat back down and quietly wept, Uncle Lark did too believe it or not. I didn’t mean it of course, I was just so jealous of you. I was raised to be the chosen one, even if I didn’t want it-it’s what was expected of me, but everything I did you outshined. You were supposed to essentially just be a guaranteed friend for me to have for life while I fixed everything this family did before us, but you picked up my unlit torch when I set it down and you set it ablaze with ease, you saved the world Norm. All I’ve ever been is this household’s mother since abuelo and abuela left. I know you don’t really remember life before that, but it was different. It was hard for me to suddenly lose being the center of everyone’s world. Not yours though, you always seemed to be at my heels for so long, then I started pushing you away like I did everyone else. I know it hurt you even though you act like it wasn’t that big of a deal. You were not the source for my anger or rebellion, I am so sorry you were the one receiving all of it. I love you Normally, you’re my favorite person in the world and I’m sorry I let my jealousy get in the way of that for so long. This is a good house, or at least it was, it takes a strong hand and a sound mind. You’ve always thrived in every situation, NYU will be lucky to have you hermanito.” Hero helped Normal up to lay on the bed correctly and covered him up and she turned on some pink noise on her phone so Normal could sleep soundly before heading off for New York tomorrow.
The next morning went by in a blur. There was a lot of running around and double checking everything while Hero made breakfast in the kitchen along with getting Normal some road snacks together, mainly a lot of red vines just in case. Sparrow and Rebecca took turns crying over their baby boy and Lark gave Normal more hugs in those last four hours than he had in the past decade. Normal was clearly getting overwhelmed so Hero took his hand and led him quickly to their safe space for a breather, a place they hadn’t been in who knows how long, their tree house. The other three will be so busy with each other that they won’t think to look here because frankly even Hero forgot it was here for a while. Once they got up there it was clear that all the others were apparently using it at different points, Sparrow had some paintings stashed here, Rebecca had some recipes written down, and Lark had some rolling papers and a stash just out on a table. “Looks like you’re not the only one who needs to get away sometimes” Hero laughed. Normal was already digging through a box at the bottom of a shelf and once he found what he was looking for he turned to his sister with a big smile. “I thought I lost it, but I completely forgot I stored it here for safe keeping. I didn’t wanna leave without it.” He handed her a picture of them from probably ten years ago at their mom’s ice cream shop laughing and covered in ice cream after having a food fight in the back. It was in the handmade macaroni picture frame she had made with way too much glitter. “I can’t believe you kept this! I had no idea there was such a thing as too much glitter”. “I mean, you kept the book mark I made you for Christmas when I was seven. You may try to act all tough, but you’re just as much of a sentimental softy as I am,” Normal replied while giving his sister a playful shove, “Also there is no such thing as too much glitter!” Hero brought Normal in for a tight hug and that’s when Normal’s alarm went off, 9am, time to head off for NYU.
They climbed down from the tree house and the others were just as they had left them, frantic and quadruple checking everything inside the house and with his car. Now was time for the goodbyes. Lark went first. He put a firm hand on Normal’s shoulder and gave him a taser and short pocket knife telling him to not tell his father, then giving him a bear hug that lifted Normal off the ground. When Lark set him down he gave the top of his head a quick kiss and wiped his face while stepping back to let the others go. Sparrow and Rebecca rushed to their son and it was a mess of I love you’s, be careful’s, call us every time you stop, you sure your location is on, combined with a bunch of hugs and kisses and squeezes. The three of them were crying, but Normal was smiling through the tears and enjoying the soul attention and adoration. After about five minutes of that Lark pulled the parents off the boy reminding them that he still had to say goodbye to his sister. At the reminder of that Sparrow started truly sobbing and threw himself onto his brother to cry it out and Rebecca joined Lark in trying to console Sparrow while Hero and Normal got in their goodbye. Hero walked up to Normal and took his hands in hers while looking him in the eyes as best she could as he’d finally surpassed her in height by a couple inches. “We spent so long just getting by here, but that's the thing about survival, who the hell likes livin' just to die? It makes me smile to know when things get hard,” looking back at the three who are starting to already argue, “you’ll be far.. far from here.” She took off her bracelet that their abuelo had made her all those years ago and tied it to Normals left wrist. Normal looked up at her with confusion, “I don’t think I ever remember seeing you without this on. Are you sure? It’s all you have of him”. Hero placed her right hand on his left hand and put them both over his heart, then cradled his cheek with her left hand. “If you wanna go far in life, then you gotta go far from here. So pack up your car, put a hand on your heart, say whatever you feel, be wherever you are, we ain't angry at you, love, you're the greatest thing we've lost. The birds will still sing, our folks will still fight, the boards will still creak, the leaves will still die,” she wipes a tear from his face, “we ain't angry at you hermanito, we'll be waiting for you, love. We’ll all be here forever!”, Lark from behind them pipes up with, “Sure will!” Hero, taking Normal’s head in her hands and placing their foreheads together, whispers to him, “You’re gonna go far!” Normal hugged his sister one last time as tightly as he possibly could, “Te amo!!” he shouted to them all as he got in his car. With a hand out the window waving goodbye to the only home he’d ever known, he drove off.
Sparrow, now done actively crying, came up to Hero and held his daughter’s hand, “What did you say to him?”. The rest of the family now joining them, Rebecca holding her daughter’s other hand and Lark grabbing his brother’s shoulder, “I told him I was happy he was leaving, that he wasn’t gonna end up stuck here like the rest of us. That while I clean up everyone’s shit, he’ll be far, far from here. I told him that we aren’t angry with him and that he’s the greatest thing we’ve lost, but that we’ll all be here forever, just waiting for him.” And with that Hero broke away from the group and headed back inside, there was a mess that needed to be cleaned up and she didn’t want to hear them all fighting over whose turn it was to do it, so like most everything else, she took on the responsibility. As the day dragged on and once dinner was done she retired to her room and tried very hard not to cry while thinking about how tonight she would be reading the whole time in silence for the first time in a very, very long time.