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Marie Winter was fixing herself a cup of tea when Kath returned to the cellblock.
“Hello sweetheart, would you like a cup of-“
“No-not now, please” she cut her off anxiously.
The taller woman quickly walked past her, holding her hands awkwardly at her sides away from her body. She nudged open the door to her cell with her elbow and slipped inside, leaving it slightly ajar.
Marie heard the faucet running and. immediately she realized that the woman was probably washing her hands. This whole scenario was rather common. Since they had been cellmates, she had noticed Kath’s anxieties around germs and mess. She strongly suspected that the older woman had some kind of OCD, but she didn’t know for sure, of course neither did Kath.
Despite wanting to help the woman she’d come to call a friend she decided to leave her to avoid embarrassing the women or upsetting her further. Kath could be quite sensitive and Marie knew how much she needed her space, recently it seemed even more so.
She settled into the couch and sipped her tea as she watched the telly, keeping half her attention on the sound of running water.
At the 15-minute mark Marie decided it was time to step in. She got up quickly and knocked on the door, which was still slightly ajar.
“Kath? Are you all right?”
When she got no response, she pushed the door open fully. Sure enough Kath was standing over the sink, scrubbing vigorously at her hands. They looked red and raw, and Marie winced when she noticed the steam rising from the hot water that poured from the tap.
She muttered something Marie couldn’t hear and continued scrubbing, not once looking up
“Kath they’re clean. Kath! Look at me!” she tried and failed to get the woman’s attention
“They’re clean, sweetheart” she said gently, stepping forward and turning the tap off, hissing as hot water splashed her own hands.
“They’re not!” she said in a panic, reaching to turn the water back on.
Marie caught her hands gently and the taller woman winced.
“They are. Come sit down love”
She guided the anxious woman to the bed and turned to grab a hand towel.
Kath sat on the thin mattress trying to steady her breathing and stared at her reddened hands with frustration. She flexed them, winced slightly and sighed in defeat.
With her now recovered memories she could recall that in her youth she had spent an inordinate amount of time furiously scrubbing her hands clean over and over again, sometimes until they bled. When her father found out he’d berated and punished her for her “weakness” but regardless she couldn’t stop herself.
As she grew older, she began to avoid touching things and people, and the compulsion seemed to lessen. But it was always there ready to rear its head. Sometimes it just manifested itself in different ways.
When she was sent to Wentworth, it came back in full force. The place was filthy, the women were filthy and she felt filthy. She couldn’t handle it. And so, she washed her hands. over and over like before. The viscous cycle continuing.
She was pulled out of her thoughts when Marie began to gently pat her hands dry. She was still so confused by this woman’s kindness, she found it very hard to accept. More so now that she had her memories, A part of her felt the urge to push her away and return to her self-imposed isolation she’d grown accustom to, but another part, one that seemed to be growing stronger, craved this connection and so she reluctantly allowed herself to be cared for.
“I’m sorry” she said in a whisper.
“Kath, look at me.”
Reluctantly, Kath looked up and met her eyes. Guilt and shame were written all over her face.
“You don’t need to apologize for anything, okay?” she smiled kindly at the taller woman.
She put the towel aside and sat down next to her on the small bed.
“Did something happen to bring this on?”
“Ve- Miss Bennett, she uh… made me clean up…um s-sick. She wouldn’t give me any gloves.” She felt humiliated as she recalled the earlier incident.
Marie sighed she knew the two women shared a history, whether they had been friends or lovers she didn’t know but whatever it had been it had obviously ended badly, but she wished Miss Bennett would maintain a certain level of professionalism when dealing with Kath, instead of abusing her power to punish her more than she already had been.
“I’m sorry. that was cruel of her.”
“She hates me” Kath said in a small voice
Marie didn’t say anything, what was there to say? Whatever had happened between the two had left them both wounded and there was no way to fix it, at least nothing she could do.
She leaned closer to the tall woman and rested her head on her shoulder
“I’m sorry, sweetheart”
A tear slid down Kath’s cheek and she quickly wiped it with her sleeve and sniffled. She took a moment to compose herself before speaking again
“Thank you, for uh, helping me.” She vaguely gestured at the sink
Marie wrapped an arm around the taller woman and gave her a light squeeze, smiling.
“Don’t mention it, come on, let’s get you a cuppa, we can watch one of those shitty reality shows you pretend to hate!”
“I do hate them” Kath argued half-heartedly
“Hmm methinks the lady doth protest too much” she grinned leading the way out of the cell.
The rest of the evening was spent together side by side on the couch Marie leaning on Kath’s shoulder once again as they sipped their tea and watched trashy TV, which they both thoroughly enjoyed, though the latter would never admit it.