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Taylor Hebert had a power. An utterly useless power.
Probably useless.
Well, useless for combat and big dramatic theatrical battles of life and death against the villains slowly eroding the social fabric of Brockton Bay.
However... the power might have some use as for economic enrichment, and guessing by the numbers on the end of the medical bills, such a thing was more important to the Hebert household right now. Working for the PRT as a Ward would earn nothing, a life of villainy was out of the question (and what would she even do with her power?) and thus there was only one real option left; the dangerous and murky middle ground of being a Rogue.
Such a word implied many things, a skirting of the law and playing both sides in an escalating game of cat and mouse where the stakes only got higher and higher---
No thank you, very much!
With a screwdriver in one hand, three foot of rubber tubing and a bottle of vanilla syrup in the other and an equal combination of power assisted guidance and blind luck, Taylor was fiddling with the internal mechanisms of the Hebert family’s old, faithful coffee maker. It was surprising just how little space there was for modifications inside of the machine, but she was just about managing to do so... once she had cannibalised the old TV to install the cathode-ray tube.
Why did the machine need it? No idea.
But after a bit of work, the Coffeenator 2000 (as she had decided to call it) was ready, and upon turning it on Taylor was only moderately alarmed to hear it humming... and the new control panel was flashing at her.
She was pretty sure that she did not make it able to light up...
Either way, she pressed a few buttons, then realised that she never grabbed a cup and rushed to put one under the spout before she could get espresso everywhere.
The machine worked, at least.
Taylor didn't drink coffee, she preferred tea, so the effort of making the Coffeenator 2000 was pretty much wasted... but unfortunately, it was the best she could do.
It was a fundamental tragedy that as a Parahuman, as somebody who had spun the power roulette... her power was that she was a Coffee Tinker. A Tinker who could only work with the medium of coffee and things relating to coffee.
Ray guns? Nope. Mechsuits? Nope. Not even something small but universally useful like creating suped-up phones.
Instead, her power had gone 'ground up beans with some water mixed in? Now this was the real shit.'
Taylor sighed.
Well, if nothing else she might be able to make some money off this entire thing.
The next day was a Saturday.
Not many big offices were open on a Saturday, but somewhere that never rested was the PRT Headquarters and main Police building of Brockton Bay, and it was to here and Taylor headed.
She had been looking around for place to set up shop, as it were, and whilst the PRT building did have a small cafe in its reception... it was famously bad. Any local with sense warned tourist not to get something to eat and drink there, and because of the price of the property in the area there weren’t any cafes within a block or two. The result? A potential market for coffee that didn't taste like fried rat intestines.
Lugging around the Coffeenator 2000, a small table and a camp chair was not easy. Adding on a small money box and the various ingredients she needed was just overkill, and her morning jogs went little way to improve her strength. By the time she had set up her little coffee stall, it was nine or so and plenty of people had already gone into the office, she had missed a critical bit of foot trade. It was cold, she had a warm jumper on but already her hands were cold...
It was a good thing that the machine was warm...
Trade was slow, she had been too slow to get here and now her trade was suffering... a few people gave her odd looks, a passing police cruiser stopped to make sure she was alright and grabbed a coffee (her first ever customer!)
After that, though, it was a good forty minutes of waiting.
It was a good thing that she brought a book... and apparently the Coffeenator 2000 could play a limited range of music.
She did not remember installing that function, but she was not complaining. Although if the next surprise function it developed was spider legs and it tried to conquer the world of men, then she really would be mystified.
However, her musings on the coffee machine apocalypse were brought to a halt by a shadow looming over her table and the sound of boots on the concrete. Taylor looked up.
Armsmaster.
The Armsmaster.
One of the most famous Tinkers on the East Coast.
"..." he looked at the Coffeenator 2000 for a few seconds, face blank behind that visor. Shit, could he recognise that it was tinkertech? She was just trying to make some money here. "... Thank the gods, I won't have to use the machines inside," he suddenly said, shoulders sagging by an inch or so in relief.
Taylor blinked in surprise.
"I will take whatever will wake me up," he said, with that tired and weary borderline humour, when one can only just manage to force it.
"Okay, just give me a moment, um, Mr. Armsmaster."
A slightly strained smile.
"Just Armsmaster will do," he corrected, and whilst it was a kindly enough correction, Taylor still felt heat rising up the back of her neck. So instead, she focused on the making the man’s coffee, pressing buttons on the hidden side of the machine.
Making a blend for him... okay, maybe those extra potent beans her dad liked... the Ecuadorian ones. Cold brew maybe? She had no idea how the Coffeenator 2000 could make a cold brew so quickly... actually scratch that, it looked as if the man barely would notice if it was hot or cold. Some syrup maybe as well, make it a latte with some of that Madagascan vanilla syrup, not too much though! The process of making his coffee took just a little longer than normal with what she was concocting
She was mostly relying on her power for this one, the drink she made was... a little unorthodox, she would be the first to admit.
"Here you go, Armsmaster, that should wake you up nicely," she said, handing over the perfectly plain paper cup with a cheap plastic lid.
"I'll take some sugar to go with it."
"Oh, I already put some in for you."
A momentary pause.
"You looked like you needed a boost," she said, as if justifying her choice.
After a moment, Armsmaster took the cup and begin fiddling for a card or some cash to pay with.
"I'll also take a signature as payment, I am building up an autograph collection," Taylor said hopefully, holding out the little book and pen his way. How often did you get a chance to grab a famous hero’s signature! Plus... Cape autographs were a lot more valuable than a single cup of coffee, if the bills got really bad then selling a book with as many as possible could raise quite a bit of money, and if she could get everyone in the PRT...
It would be a little silly to admit it, but part of the reason for her stall’s location was to both try and take advantage of the poor bastards working in the PRT Headquarters, and get those valuable autographs. Abundant tired, stressed office workers that needed caffeine for their paperwork, leaping on the first opportunity to have any coffee that was not from the PRT machines, and she could enrich herself in a two-fold way!
Armsamster went for the autograph payment, looking just a little amused by the whole thing.
Huh, he had quite nice writing, actually...
It had been a long night, and despite the amount of work he had to do today he had been unable to face it down without some energy.
Armsmaster had intended to walk the two or three blocks himself rather than send somebody else out for a drink, the fresh air would do him some good... and then he had noticed the little stall, manned by a teenager with a coffeemaker that was playing music. It was not bad as a first attempt at Tinkertech, but most novice tinkers struggled to make their creations not stand out too blatantly and he had picked it up at once.
The fact that the owner was both unmasked and so blatantly conducting her trade outside the PRT Headquarters could easily lead to a number of conclusions; one, that she was secretly advertising herself to join the Wards but wanted to 'show off' her creations a bit more publicly, or two, that she was a potential Rogue who was taking advantage of a location close to the PRT for a feeling of safety.
The lack of mask rather indicated that she had not properly thought through the operation, or hoped that her creation could pass as a regular machine.
He was going to assume the latter until there was further evidence otherwise.
As he walked, he sent a brief message on the various PRT internal communications.
Armsmaster : Attention to all staff; do not make use of the coffee stand outside the building until I have had the opportunity to test the coffee.
Paranoia, perhaps... but one had to be ever vigilant in this job
Battery : Hold up let’s take a step back, what's this about a coffee stand?
Armsmaster : A maskless teenaged girl is currently operating a small pop-up stand outside PRT Headquarters, and is selling coffee from a piece of tinkertech. I bought one for an autograph and am just about to run a few tests to make sure it is safe for consumption
Assault : Okay but if the coffee is safe, this is an absolute gamechanger
Gamechanger indeed.
When he arrived in his workshop he moved over to the material analyser on his desk.
It was a piece of technology that normally dealt with dangerous or unknown materials, whether it be the substances made by Parahumans or mundane materials used by them. Just the other day it had been analysing a scale pulled from Lung to investigate the anomalous durability of the Cape. But now, Armsmaster carefully poured a small amount of the solution from the cup into a vial and fed it through the machine.
The results came in swiftly, already a good sign because it indicated that there was nothing too unusual.
The coffee was made up of perfectly normal ingredients, even if the balance of certain elements was unusual, it was certainly within the capacity of a human being to create even if it would not be to his usual tastes. The drink had a greater degree of caffeine then should be possible for the volume of liquid, but not to dangerous levels, there was a range of trace elements in drastically greater amounts, all essential to normal body functions.
Nothing dangerous. Nothing hazardous.
The cup went into the analyser as well, and he was gratified to have it confirmed that it was perfectly normal.
He put through a brief call requesting somebody to watch over him whilst he tried the drink, on the off chance. Whilst it appeared perfectly normal in nature, one could never be sure with Tinkertech, and dutifully he was joined by a somewhat confused (and tired) Miss Militia.
He tried the coffee.
Despite the alterations, it hit the spot, and within minutes he took notice of the results.
One, he felt awake.
Two, his hand was vibrating.
Three, he had a vast amount of energy and a flush of new, debatably insane, and novel ideas for an alteration to his visor interface.
"How is it?" Miss Militia asked, raising a brow.
"... It's the best coffee I've had in weeks," he said, finishing off the cup.
"So we won't be dragging her in for interrogation or calling Panacea?" it was a joke, and he gave a faint chuckle.
"No, I'll talk to her."
"Good. I might get some myself, I have a mountain of paperwork and the Directors on my ass about it."
Taylor was not quite sure how she ended up taking over the catering of the PRT building.
Well, the coffee side of things at least.
It was good to know that the Coffeenator 2000 had passed the strict muster and tests that Armsmaster had put her coffee through. Maybe she was a little insulted that her humble coffee had been, apparently, subjected to a barrage of tests... but at the same time, she was now being paid by the PRT to man their coffee facilities and she got to take a cut of what the public bought! She was definitely earning more now, even if she only worked weekends and some evenings.
She also now had a cape name now.
Barista.
... Very creative there, PRT.
But she couldn't give a shit about that. The money as a Rogue on the PRT's payroll was very lucrative thus far.
She also got to meet a lot of... colourful characters.
"Of fair maiden of the machine, grant now my boon! That I might sip, upon heated bean this noon!"
Taylor stared in a deadpan at Assault even as Battery sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose and looked as if she was deciding between walking away or dope slapping the red clad hero beside her, who was grinning like a loon.
'Please the customer please the customer please the customer.'
"Anything in particular, Assault?" she was proud that she managed to say it with a smile.
"Surprise me! Something sweet!"
... Okay then.
Five pumps of raspberry syrup, vanilla extract and the special high caffeine, freshly ground beans so dark not even light would escape their surface. The beeping of the machine’s keypad filled the air as she created the most over the top instructions possible.
She would call it the 'Sweet Assault'
Currently she had custom drinks on the board behind her, including the Miss Mocha, the Armsmericano and the Vistaretto (a form of espresso that was frankly disturbingly strong for the youngest Ward). The former was also a hit with the public, it helped that the very popular heroine was often to be seen with one in hand. Although Taylor was benefitting from a lot of press at the moment, the PRT Headquarters cafe had become a good place to spot the local Heroes for any tourists coming to visit... and get good coffee.
Perhaps it was a little cynical, but the more custom, named drinks Taylor put up, the more people were coming to do the 'Brockton Bean challenge', drinking each within an hour.
She rather wondered how many would survive the Sweet Assault
The Coffeenator 3000 (a beefed-up machine built with the PRT's vast... vast resources) was humming loudly... and vibrating the floor.
"It isn't normally that loud?" Battery observed.
"It isn't normally trying to 'surprise' somebody," Taylor said with a vapid little smile. She idly wondered whether it was deploying some of the more esoteric functions. Fortunately, the drink was made without loss of life or spontaneous fireballs, and she handed over and took payment from a card (and it was not cheap). Assault took a sip, Taylor waited with a smile that wouldn't melt butter as a few tourists took photos.
"Dayum, this is some serious gourmet shit!"
... Wait what? He liked that abomination? There you go folks, confirmation that Assault is some sort of space alien in a human skin.
"Don't swear in front of the public, Assault!"
"Man, you gotta try this!"
Battery eyed the pink-black gunk that was offered to her.
"I'll pass... I'll have the normal, Barista."
At least somebody had some sense!