Chapter 1: Amber Eyes, Blue Skies and Boba
Chapter Text
It was the middle of summer. Currently riding shotgun in my grandpas truck for what feels like an eternity now. I’m being dragged out to his neck of the woods since he convinced my parents to take me off their hands to finish highschool. I naturally had no say in the matter. I guess I’m not too upset. Grandpa did save me from the monotony of chorin’ all day. That is unless this was just a ploy to get free labor outta me.
A little backstory on me is in order I suppose. I’m Noah, Noah Buddy. Raised in a farm community out in the valley in the middle of nowhere. Mostly human populace but you had the occasional dino from down south looking for work. My family ran an Orchard farm with some vineyards for good measure. Up until this point I was homeschooled. For unrelated reasons, not very popular with the other kids my age. Just a nobody from nowhere important.
Now with that outta the way a thought occurred to me though. I had no idea what to expect. Of the school or town I’d be staying at for the next 4 odd years. When it came to family visits, grandma and grandpa were usually visiting us. Not the other way around. I finally break the silence of an otherwise quiet drive. “What's it gonna be like when we get there?”
“Coastal” Grandpa said matter-of-factly. “Plenty to see and do”
Vague, but now that he had mentioned it the air did have a crispness to it. Clean. Not the dirt and dust I was accustomed to. It was nice.
“And the school?”
“Nice?” He said with a laugh and shrug. I raised an eyebrow at him. The men in my family are notorious for their short answers so this really comes as no surprise. Just gonna have to see for myself.
“Well most of the attending students are dino-sapien…”
“Wait, you mean I'm gonna be one of the only humans in a school full of meteo-?!” Grandpa gave a scolding look that told me I better watch my tongue.
“I ugh-I mean...I just never been around that many ya know? Back home the only dinos are some of the guys who work with dad”
“Noah, these are good honest people. I expect you to be on your best behavior while you’re here. Do you understand me?”
His voice was cold and stern. I watched him adjust a photo he had sticking out of his sun visor. It was a photo of his time in the military.
In it he was standing shoulder over shoulder with another soldier. He was a raptor with an arm in a sling and stogie in between his teeth. The rest of the men were a motley crew of both dino and human alike sitting over the company tank.
I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I know its just stupid slang, but his disappointment cuts deep.
“Y-yes sir...sorry sir” His face softened some and he gave me a small nod. He put a hand over my shoulder and looked at me for a moment.
“You’ll like It here son, I promise, plenty-o’ kids ‘round yer age in the neighborhood too” then returned his attention to driving.
That concept doesn't really comfort me like gramps thinks. My experience with other kids in my area was “hostile” to put it into words. Being a homeschooled kid was one thing. Being a homeschooled kid with blonde hair and a homemade bowl cut was another. Thank god I eventually learned to cut my own hair…”PissBowl” they used to call you. A nickname like that gets a feller in a small town into a lotta scraps cause that sorta things what passes for entertainment round here. Well as the story goes you get tired of the nickname and teasing so you set out to do something about it. You get a bit older, wiser, bigger, Pa shows you how to throw a proper punch, and now yer unpopular for different reasons. So yea, most of my “friends” were farm animals, the dog and whichever one of dads employees that gave me the time of day. Only saw the cousins at family gatherings.
“Hey grandpa, how'd you end up in a place like this anyhow?”
“well…I got stationed at a base about a town over.” He rubbed his chin as he went down memory lane.
“People were friendly, grass was greener and cost of living was cheap. Once I got out, I figured I'd just stay.” He paused for a moment. A smile rose on his face. “And when I went to finish college that's when I met your grandmother”
The rest of the ride he regaled me with his love story. I kinda fazed out a lot of the fluff but I recall they met in some accounting or business course and how they hit it off over their love of some old band. I never really gave love much thought at this point in my life. Just chalked it up to one of those things grown ups worry about. I guess I’m still in that transitioning phase from girls are icky to they look nice and make me feel funny.
We pulled into the neighborhood. Real picket fence suburb thing going on. A far cry from what i'm used to with wide open fields but looks cozy enough. Grandma was waiting out on the front porch bench for our arrival. I noticed that a handful of dino kids were trailing gramps truck on their bikes, hooping and hollering trying to get his attention. Grandpa gave em a wave and played the truck's musical horn for them. The kids cheered him on in victory.
“What's that all about?”
“Just some of the neighborhood regulars hoping for a treat” He reaches into his coat pocket and hands me a piece of grandpa candy. Taffy. Nice.
As grandpa parked the car the kids swarmed em. Ditching their bikes around the driveway and forming a single file line like this is practiced. The line up includes a green gator kid who dresses like he got out of a business meeting. Two Woolie mammoths who I'm assuming are related are next up. The girl was the largest of the two and clearly older, broad but still effeminate. The smaller boy I can't tell if he’s got some pudge or if it's just layers of fur. Kid looks like a little Chewbacca with tusks. The last in the group I didn't really get a good look at. Their wings covered most of them up but from what I can tell they wear a sporty get up and a ribbon on their crest.
I started to make my way out of the truck eyes still on the dino kids when my foot got stuck on the step bar. Suddenly I found myself in a two way fight with gravity and the pavement. My arms flailed wildly grasping at air before accepting their fate and resigned themselves to protecting what they could of my face. Poorly I might add. Brace for impact! “OH SHI-!” -THUD-
My face feels like I got into a slap fight with a frying pan and my arms burn a little from scraping against the floor. None of which hurt as much as my pride though. I rolled over like a fat kid after thanksgiving thirds. We’ll call it a tie gravity.
“Whoa! You okay dude?” I squinted and a giant pigeon? no, a ptero girl came into focus. Her eyes were the first thing I noticed. They were fiery oranges. A stark contrast to her otherwise monochrome palette of silver hair and feathered wings. Her hair was shoulder length and choppy.
“...no worse for wear” I croaked. The girl placed a hand out for me to grab. I took it and prepared to push myself off the ground but to my surprise the girl managed to hoist me up without much assistance. Despite her small frame the girl had some muscle on her.
I shook off the dust and adjusted my shirt before returning my attention to the girl “Dang, you got an arm on you girl”
She Shrugged her shoulders dramatically “I stay active with a little this and that” I can’t tell if she's being boastful or bashful.
I noticed in my peripheral view that a crowd was forming around me and I was at the center of attention.
“You okay Noah?” The words snap me to attention. Suddenly I'm conscious of my own eyes. Shit was I staring at this girl the whole time?
“hu-y-yea . im fine”
“That's good cause I don't think I can hold in my laughter anymo-ah-HA HA!” He belly laughed for a good few seconds.
Grandma slapped his shoulder “Frank!” her scolding fell apart as she stifled a laugh.
“Damn near thought the boy was gonna take flight the way his arms was imitating the whirlybirds”
Now everyone was laughing. I’m sure my face is turning shades of embarrassed but hell I could see the humor in the situation and laugh along. They’re laughing with me, I try to tell myself.
“Well atleast I stuck the landing” It was a weak attempt at humor but I figured if I leaned into it I'd stop being the center of attention. Or get on with the day.
“I give it like a solid 6” the ptero girl chirped in. See, with me.
“Alright. Okay. May not be going for gold here. Heart wasn't in it”
“Well your face definitely was” The gator boy was proud of that one. Threw in some finger guns for good measure. nevermind, at me…
The mammoth girl flicked the back of his head. “Don’t be a jerk Spike!”
“Ow! I’m just jokin’ Jeez!”
BZZT BZZT! The woolie woman whips out her phone and squeals with excitement, jumping around. “ Thats my mayns! He waaaants to see meeeee” her trunk waved around as she sang the words.
“Mateo? You’re still letting that mama’s boy string you along?” Gator boy Jeered. Still rubbing the back of his head.
“He’s not stringing me along! We’re…courting” she said indignantly
“Courting? What like you guys are on an air hug basis now?! PFFT HAHA!” He wiped a tear from his eye “I guess- AHAHA! I guess things are moving pretty fast huh? HAHA”
What in Sam Helliot is going on here?
The ptero girl pinched her snoot and mumbled something about church guys being weird. I probably shouldn't mention that my parents drag me along to church every sunday…
Was I a weird church kid? …Am I just weird? Like, I think I’m pretty normal all things considered. If you were weird would you even know if someone didn’t tell you? weird…
“You good dude?” She was addressing me. I…really need to pay better attention to my surroundings.
“Hu-yea, sorry I was just spacing out for a sec.” Yea Noah, yer weird bud.
“S’all good dude, just checking” she returned her attention back to the others.
The gator continued to tease the mammoth girl over her boyfriends(?) chastity vow. He only gives it a rest when she threatens to slug em’.
“Anyways…” she side eyed daggers at the boy. “Mateo asked me to join him for youth group tonight” Gator boy stifled a laugh behind a shit eating grin. “This is why you’re single”
“Reason five freakin’ million” the ptero said with crossed arms. He blew raspberries at them.
“ANYWAYS” the angry ancient elephant added much emphasis to the word. “I gotta get ready for our date” more snickers. She ignored them and pressed on. “So I’ll see you all later…Otto you better head home too”
“You’re ditching us?! We were gonna do game night at spikes!” I noticed the ptero girls wings move very animated as she talked. The way someone might talk with their hands to accentuate a point . It was kinda…adorable? An interesting display that's for sure. I realize I might be starring again and look at my shoes.
“We’ve been planning this for weeks dude!” There was some hurt behind those words. Must have meant a big deal to her whatever this game night entailed.
“You’re really flaking on us for a guy who won’t even hold your hand in public?” The baryonyx boy was no longer laughing.
Hell even grandpa looked disappointed but held his tongue I guess.
It did seem kinda rude to ditch your friends like that but i've also never been in a relationship before…Or had real friends. I remember during breaks the married men on the farm would often complain about their significant other. How their social lives pretty much ended when they got hitched. Then I think about Mom and Dad. They were plenty friendly with lots of folk but I don’t think I could say they had any real friends. They only had each other and me, and they at least seemed happier than the other men. Maybe that’s the price of love?
“Guys please, I want this relationship to work…his faith is important to him and hes important to me. Plus if his mother sees me at church with him it will make a good impression”
The others didn’t look very impressed. “I’ll make it up to you guys, promise”
“Whatever, go. Hope he’s worth it”
The mammoth scoops up the ptero in a bear hug and swings her around.
“Don’t be like that, you guys know you’re my number ones.” The ptero squirms for dear life
“AHH Alright, alright I still love you now stop crushing me! I swear I’ll say a slur! ” Eventually the mammoth relents and plops her back down. The ptero takes a moment to catch her balance.
.
“Hey it's not like I had a whole lot planned for tonight's game anyway…This’ll give me more time to prepare something cool for next time” The gator added trying to keep the peace with his friend group.
“Ugh, Fine we’ll reschedule AGAIN. But if you bail on us again Rylee, Imma be pissed. Mega pissed even”
“Tie my tusks and hope to die” Weird phrasing. She gives this funny salute to the group.
“Come on Otto, I’ll take you home” The gator tells the mini mammoth.
“Aw man…I g-gg-go-got my m-m-minia-t-t, my new m-mini p-painted for game night” Helluva lisp on that one.
“You can tell me all about when we get ya home lil bud” He returned a dejected nod and the three of them set off on their bikes. Leaving the Ptero girl and me, who’s just been standing there the entire time like a jackass.
I give a head nod and try to make my exit, grabbing some of my luggage out of the back of the truck. I expected the girl to be on her way but that's when she started hitting me with all these questions.
“Moving in or Visiting?”
“Ugh, I’m just here until I finish school”
“Volcano high?”
“Think so, Yea”
“We’ll be going to the same school then” Hey there's that funny feeling I talked about earlier.
“Oh, cool…”
“I’m Amber by the way”
“Noah, Noah Buddy”
“Where ya from Noah?” What’s with the third degree?
“Up in the valley where all the farmland and agriculture is”
“Explains the accent”
“...I have an accent?”
“Yea, you got a little bit of that twangy draw” Hadn’t really noticed it until now. Suppose I do.
“Do I sound funny or something”
She shrugs “I mean a little bit yea” followed by a little laugh. First day in a new town and I’ve already embarrassed myself and been made fun of. Awesome.
“Great…” I groan out.
“No, like it's charming though” Hear that? I’m “Charming” Nah more like I’m the exotic funny man that everyones gonna try to get to say stupid stuff to get a laugh. Dance monkey boy, dance.
“...If you say so” I swing a bag over my shoulder and start for the house. I guess she didn’t get the hint cause she kept following me with more questions.
“You play videogames?”
“Been to the arcade a few times, that count?” She shrugs and gives this “eh” gesture with her hands. Yea didn’t think so.
“Sports?”
“Well I’m no jock but I would watch college ball with my dad”
“You could definitely pass for one” My parents would say I look “Corn fed” but I’ll take it.
“Thanks? but nah, just lots of choring and busy work”
Grandpa strolls over chipper as ever. “You kids getting along?” Amber and I share a mutual look of slight confusion. Before we shrug
“Sure?”
“Hey, Noah why don't you let me handle those bags and your grandmother and I will get your room set up and you and Amber go get a soda or something?” He reaches in his coat to pull out his wallet, licking his thumbs to count a couple bills he then puts in my hand. Next thing I know I’m left alone again with the dino girl.
There's an awkward silence for a moment as we both look at one another dumbfounded at current events. I pocket the money and we both just shrug at the other.
“...wanna go shoot hoops at my place?” She offers.
“ ‘Kay”
Later…
“You ever miss?”
“All in the elbows dude” She says casually making another clean bucket then passing me the ball.
“So what was your old place like?”
“Boring…Whole lotta nothing for miles in every direction” I hit the rim of the basket.
“What’d you do all day then?” She goes chasing after the loose ball.
“Chores, chores and you guessed it, more chores”
“Geez dude you do anything for fun?” Off the backboard and in the net.
“Fishing and hunting every once in a blue moon. Had an old guitar I’d strum on...” I finally make one in.
“Oh you play?”
“Pfft If you consider plucking strings randomly then sure”
“Freeform, I dig it” She takes another shot. To our surprise and horror she gets the ball stuck in between the rim and backboard.
“...”
“...” Sniff*
“...Well Shit!” Amber plops onto her lawn defeated.
I pull out the crumpled bills from my pocket. Goddamn!...that's a lotta dough for getting a soda…sitting on a cool hundred here. I turn to face the Ptero with the bills in my fist.
“Wanna hit up the mall?” She sits up at attention looking at the wad of cash, then me, then the wad of cash again.
*Later*
“This the place?”
“Yea pull over here” she points out a bike rack. I stop and she begins to lock it up.
“So…where to first?”
“Ideally somewhere with working ac” That actually gives me an idea. Could use something to cool off.
“Know a place where we can get some ice cream?”
She stares off to the side thinking. “If we’re lucky Mc-meteors machine won't be broken”
“You’d sooner get congress to act”
She's thinking again. “Well there’s a boba place inside”
“The hells boba?” She looks at me like I asked her what color the sky is.
“It’s like flavored tea with candy balls and milk”
“That sounds fruity as hell”
“Some flavors have a lot of fruit yea”
“No like…Listen the only tea I drink is sweet tea with enough sugar to send the kool-aid guy into a diabetic coma”
“You’re such a hick dude”
“Damn straight” I say with pride. She rolls her eyes at me with a small laugh.
“Well there's regular and sweet tea too if the balls in your drink is such a turn off”
“Now that's just fishing for a dirty joke”
She had a childish grin. “ What ya don't like slurpin’ up sweet candy balls? Oh perhaps you prefer a more salty variety?”
“I’m not gonna dignify that with a response”
“You just did”
“Nugh ugh”
“Yugh Huh!”
This went on for longer than I’d like to admit…
* Some time later *
I was double fisting sugar packets into my drink. “These people don't know what sweet tea is, can't believe I paid 20 bucks for this crap” I take a test sip. “Better…”
“You want some tea with your sugar?”
“Beats that seven layer blended B.S. you call a drink”
“Whadda you know? , you’ve never even tried it”
“I’m sure all the ball suckers love it” I take another sip of my tea. Could use a little honey…
She shot a wet jelly ball at me with her straw turned blowgun. I return an unamused glare at her, flicking it off my shirt.
“Here at least try it” she slides the drink across the table.
“Hard no, plus you got your slobber all over the straw”
Amber gives me a glare and swipes my drink from across the table then proceeds to dramatically put her mouth over the straw to take a sip. Letting out an audible “Ahh”
“Don’t be a pussy dude.” She takes another sip. “Not bad by the way, a bit too sweet for my tastes though”
I roll my eyes and give the overdesigned drink a try. It's…good, really good in fact. Amber must be able to see it on my face because she’s giving me the biggest shit eating grin.
I slid the drink back over to her and crossed my arms. “ Yea, its alright…I guess”
“Looked pretty orgasmic from here” she sipped her drink in smug satisfaction.
“You kiss your mother with that snoot?”
“You kiss anyone with that mouth, Skin lips”
“That supposed to be some kinda human slur?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know monkey boy” I swear to cowboy christ…
“Hmp!” I take another sip of my drink “FUCKYOUMYDRINKISBETTER!”
“FUCK YOU my drink is better”
“Nugh ugh”
“Yugh huh”
This bullshit went on for a while.
We finish up our drinks and Amber pitches her empty cup into a nearby trash can, fistpumping the air when it expertly lands. My attempt only scattered the ice cubes in my cups across the floor. I apologize profusely to the janitor that has to clean up after me while Amber is wheezing from laughing her ass off.
Once that debacle is over we continue our mall rat adventure. Passing by a dozen odd clothing stores and trying to avoid being assaulted by perfume saleswomen. One managed to corner me to try and peddle some pretentious cologne and I tried to tell her I wasn’t interested but Amber said she really liked how it smelled. I own a bottle of pretentious cologne now.
Amber drags us through some game store going on various tangents about the wall of used games and whether one was cringe or “the goat” Half of which she hasn’t even played. The one game I remember because it actually sounded interesting was Meteor effect. Exploring space with a rag tag group of humanoid species sounded pretty cool. Apparently the ending to it sucked though. An employee kept asking us if we needed help. Amber would reply with “just looking and we don't want the membership card” and I could visibly see a piece of the man's soul chip away each time. She nearly ripped my head off when I almost asked what the membership card was out loud. We didn’t buy anything.
As we meandered past more stores I figured I’d make some small talk.
“So…what’s your favorite game then?”
Without any hesitation “Rock Ring 3”
“Isn’t that game older than you are?”
She shrugs “When I was a little girl dad used to play all his old games with me, weekends we would get pizza and just play rock ring co-op all day” there was a bitter fondness in her words.
“You guys don’t play anymore?” She shakes her head and her shoulders sag. Oh man her dads not gone is he? There's a pause. I open my mouth to say something but I’m cut off.
“He’s just so busy all the time. He travels a lot with his job and even when he is home he’s usually working on some project” That definitely sucks but at least it's not what I thought.
“Well a mans gotta provide right?”
“I know that I just…It’d be nice if he could make more time for me”
“Aww princess misses her daddy?” She shoots me the meanest fucking glare, stopping in her tracks. I throw my hands up in surrender.
“...”
“...” Well I feel like an asshole now.
“My bad lemme take this foot outta my mouth…”
She smiles at that, deflating with a sigh and continues walking “It’s fine, don’t worry about it”
“You two must be real close” She nods then turns her head quizzically towards me
“What you're not close with your parents?”
I shake my head. “mmm…Mom and Dad are fine. We get along, but they are more like…my boss. We were pretty much always busy but we were busy together. If that makes sense”
“I think I get it but you never did anything together for fun?”
“Sure we did, vacations and all that but usually it was just something simple like helping make a pie or going grocery shopping. Little things like that”
She nods in approval. “Sounds nice actually”
“...”
“By the way, that normal for you guys to be chasing grandpa down for candy?”
She perks up with a beaming smile “Salt water taffy”
“Huh?”
“Yea your gramps is always giving out salt water taffy to neighborhood kids. All the kids know he’s got the best elder candy. Plus he has a bunch of cool military stories.”
Still got plenty of money to burn. Might as well…
“Hey you wanna see if one of the stores has some?” There's a sparkle in her eyes, she's jumping back and forth then grabs my hand. Butterfly stampede imminente.
“Heck. Yea! C’mon I know the store that sells them!” She’s practically sprinting leading me through the stores. I nearly avoid tripping a few times.
“Amber Hold u!-”
“Hurry up ya big ape!” I’ve wrestled cattle with less pull than this girl. Cowboy Christ, Raptor Jesus, Someone give me strength!
We finally made it to the candy store. Amber hasn’t even broken a sweat while I’m struggling to catch my breath. She still hasn’t let go of my hand. What is she-? Oh god I'm being pulled again!
“There they are, let's go!” In a frenzy she’s scooping taffy into a bag and dragging me to the register. Never once letting her death grip on my hand go. I think the cashier made some comment about how cute we were. I cut them off by practically throwing the money on the counter
“Huff* J-just huff* give me the damn candy. Keep huff* the receipt” The cashier glared at me annoyed while handing me my change. “Thanks” Amber is fucking vibrating with excitement and making what can only be described as goblin noises as she snatches the bag off the counter. Being dragged off again. Lovely.
Oh thank the powers that be she’s bringing us to a bench. She plants the bag between us and pops a candy in her mouth, kicking her legs rhythmically in delight. I crash on the bench heaving in as much sweet air as possible. I limply lift up the hand she’s glued herself to, looking at her expectantly to finally let go. She doesn’t, instead she reaches into the bag and drops a piece of taffy in my open mouth. I’m dumbfounded, flabbergasted , absolutely deer in headlights frozen in confusion. You know what? This is fine. I’m too tired to protest. I close my mouth and take in the sweet flavored goodness.
Several moments had passed, candy eaten, and not a word said. Amber was humming some song to herself “scales and feathers duh-duh-duh-duh turn the lights off” it trailed off into nonsense. I can’t help but stare. She looks back my way and gives me a sweet smile. I smile sheepishly back. I don't really know what's going on but I'm here for it. I glance down at our hands and OH- OH SHIT.
I jerk my arm away to check my watch causing a small yelp from amber.
“Hey suns going down real soon we should probably get going” she looked disappointed but nodded and gathered her stuff. Would've been nice to hang out longer but time waits for no man…or dinosaur person.
I help her up and we begin our mad dash- er power walk, out of the mall.
Back at the neighborhood I can make out Grandpa. He’s got the fire pit out in the front lawn and he’s chatting up some Man Built like Mr.Clean and…Is that Amber's mom? Gotta be. The closer I get the more I see the resemblance. They must be looking for her. I pray I didn’t just get her into trouble.
Grandpa is the first to notice us and waves us over.
“Noah there you are boy we're just talking about you.” He turns to Mr.Clean and Ambers mom.
“See, I told ya they were alright” Amber jumps off the back of the bike almost knocks over Mr. Clean with a leaping hug.
“DADDY! YOU’RE HOME!” He hugs her back and pets her head.
“Hey my precious little dino nugget”
“THAT'S YOUR DAD?!”
Chapter 2: Salt Water Serenade
Chapter Text
My outburst got…mixed reactions. Amber looked at me like I was the weird one for asking. Her parents just looked shocked. Grandpa on the other hand didn’t look too thrilled.
“Boy don’t you know it's impolite to-!” He’s cut off by Amber’s father.
“It’s alright Frank, believe me I get it. Yup This little Ptero-terror is my own flesh and blood.” He looks down lovingly at his daughter, brushing a hand through her hair. “I can barely believe it myself sometimes” He spoke the words in an almost whispered pride. Amber tightens her grip on her hug.
Her mom wrapped an arm around her husband and gave him a loving smile. I can see where Amber gets it. Gets quite a bit of things . Like her eyes, wings…midriff…stay focused.
Among other primal interests a good christian boy doesn't rot their brain with.
To avoid looking like some goofy-gawking-gooner, I turn my eyes to Grandpa and give him a look. One that says “don’t they look sweet” He returns a subtle nod and smile.
“Amber sweetheart, we thought you were going to be over at Spike’s with your friends? You should have told us your new boyfriend was taking you out” Amber’s Mom blurted out.
The words were a verbal flashbang. The blast left everyone reeling for a moment and scrambling to get a hold of the situation.
“BOYFRIEND?!” Her Dad shot glances at his Wife who wore this whimsical smile. Like she was sadistically reveling in everyone squirming. Then at amber who looked frozen in embarrassment and finally at me. His face was a mix of emotion. Anger, confusion , sadness then I think anger again. OOOOH SHIT OH FUCK! NONONO NO NO!
“MOOOM! He just got here!” She hides her face in her wings.
“I-I just got here…?” I blink a few times. A Butterfly Weapon of Mass Embarrassment just went off in my gut. “er y-yea I just got here we’re not-”
“He’s not my boyfriend!”
“Ugh- I’m not her boyfriend.” Her dad relaxed rubbing his bald head.
“We’re just hanging out since Rylee bailed on us…Again”
“Ugh yea…”
“So…a date?” Amber's mom said in a disturbingly teasing manner. Her Father was no longer relaxed. If the last bomb was Fat fly, This was Little Bug. Millions of spaghetti lost in the blink of an eye.
FUCK. FUCK! WHADDOISAYWHADDOISAY?!
“UGGHHHH…” I can hear my heart trying to escape my chest.
“I’m just messing with you kids haha! Ahh…I understand my mom now, this is fun!”
“Speak for yourself…” I caught Amber’s dad mumbling. Yeah I’m right there with you sir.
“MOOOOOM!” Amber said, lightly slapping her mothers arms in protest. Still hiding her face in her wings.
“Ah it’s like music to my ears heehee” Her mom said in devilish delight.
Amber’s dad and I both let out a sigh of relief.
“It’s my fault really, couldn’t stand to see poor Amber sulking all by her lonesome like that” Grandpa you are a real one like no other.
“Dad! Dad! Dad!” Amber skips back and forth tugging her dads arm. He boops her snoot to shush her.
“Yes sweetheart?” He releases his finger to signal her it's okay to talk again.
“Can we play rock ring tonight?” He returns a look to her that's already apologizing before he can say a word. Amber pushes on her pleas “Or we could play compy zombies, or or-” there was a desperation in her tone. He boops her snoot to hush her again and the disappointment on her face is enough to put a frown on my own. Amber’s mom speaks up for him.
“Sorry sweetheart, Daddy owes me a dinner date. Mommas gotta get her nuggie fix”
“But we have dino nuggies at home!”
“But they aren't FANCY dino nuggets” she pinches Amber’s face and smooshes her cheeks. “And if I have to go one more night hearing you scream profanities at 12 year olds online I’m gonna take grandpas nine iron to all your consoles and neither of us want that do we sweetie?”
“Noa. Fware.” Amber protested. Face properly smooshed. She stuck a tongue out at her mom in defiance. Her mom stuck one back at her.
“Tough” Then kissed her forehead. Amber grumbled.
“Meeeeerm…” Still hilariously smooshed.
“Am I embarrassing you in front of your boyfriend?” She said in an obnoxious baby voice.
Amber hid herself with her wings again. Meekly hitting her moms sides
“STAPH ETTTT”
Her mom laughs to herself.
“Fang I think you tormented the kids (and me…) enough”
“Ahh…you’re right, don’t wanna risk becoming my mother” She finally lets Amber go after ruffling her hair and kissing her forehead again. Amber grumbled and stuck her tongue out again. Mrs. Fang returned the gesture. They had a back and forth blowing raspberries at each other until Mr.Clean got in between them.
“Girls, PLEASE…” They finally relent after one final sass off.
He checks his watch. “Still have a bit before our reservation” Grandpa motions at the empty space next to the fire pit. He looks to his wife and daughter and shrugs, taking up a spot at the pit.
We spend the next odd hour chatting and passing around the bag of salt water taffy. Grandpa Sprinkles in some military stories.Amber’s dad comments on how he almost joined the military. Personally I don't see him as the type but I wouldn’t say it outloud to that brick shithouse of a man. Grandma joins us at some point bringing an old acoustic guitar with her.
“Frank Deer why don’t you play that song I love so much for everyone, the Johnny Cash one”
“You should be asking Lucy here to play, she’s the musician” He said modestly.
“C’mon Frank play us a song. I love your singing” Amber’s mom encouraged him.
Grandpa looks around to each of us silently cheering him on to play. With a chuckle he picks up the old guitar, tunes it, and plays. It's a slow melodic love song. Grandma looked like she was developing a crush on grandpa all over again. She probably heard the song a million times by now but in the moment she was brought back to another time. One where she was young and madly in love. Amber's parents shared a kiss themselves at some point. Amber mimed the gagging motion to me and I couldn’t help but smile ear to ear at her.
“ ~The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless sky my love
And the first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move through my hands
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command
And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I know our joy would fill the earth
And last 'till the end of time my love
The first time ever I saw your face~”
“Heh, still got it”
Grandpas no Cash but he definitely has the voice for the song.
There’s a moment of silence after everyone claps for grandpa's performance. There's only the ambience of the cracking of the fire now. The radiant warmth that now hugged my body. With the coastal breeze brushing against the back of my neck. Grandma and Grandpa, Mr. and Mrs Mous, they looked so at peace with one another.
Then there was Amber who was sitting in the warm glow of the fire, the reflection of the flame playing out in her golden eyes. The light dancing off her silver hair. Maybe Grandpa's song got to my head, maybe it was teenage hormones but, at the moment, taking it all in. Let’s just say she looked picturesque.
Amber shuffles besides me, and the butterflies are taking residence again.
She tears the last piece of salt water taffy in two and puts a piece in my hand. I hesitated for a moment looking at her. She returns that fantastic smile I've seen all day and pops the candy in her mouth. I smile back and do the same. Trying my hardest to savor the candy and the moment.
A moment of silence passes and grandpa sits next to me putting the guitar in my lap.
“Why don’t you take over for a bit Noah.”
“I ain’t much of a strummer Gramps” I really wasnt truth be told. I only sorta played notes by ear when I was bored. I couldn't really tell you what I was doing half the time or make a coherent song if you put a gun to my head.
“I’ve heard yer pickin’ son you play just fine”
“Can’t expect me to follow that up” I try to laugh off.
“You know what my father used to say to me?” Oh boy here we go…
“On nights like these he would point up to sky and he’d say Son, you were born to inherit the stars. I only pray you have the courage to claim them.”
I stare at him for a moment. He continues.
“You have skills, and talents. You can accomplish anything you set your heart to but not if you keep giving up before you can get there. There will be setbacks but don't let doubt cloud your vision or obstacles impede your progress. The indomitable human spirit isn't just a myth”
He’s laying it on pretty thick but there is something to what he's saying I suppose. All that motivational talk just to play guitar though…?
“We all gotta start somewhere. Lord knows I had my fair time of sucking before I got decent” Ambers mom added encouragingly.
Her dad mumbled something about two basses. Didn’t make much sense. I imagined her mom playing one of those double necked basses. Always thought they looked cool if not impractical.
“I still suck at guitar, and moms been trying to teach me for years”
“It would help if you actually LET me teach you”
“Well that's why I’m taking the elective right!?”
“Ugh…what am I gonna do with you child?”
“Let dad stay home and order pizza so we can play rock ring?”
“No” She Gives Amber another silencing snoot boop before she can protest. Amber Bites her moms arm in mock defiance. Her mom rolls her eyes and chuckles.
“Come get your daughter Anon” Amber’s growling like a dog. Her dad scoops her up like a puppy.
“Alright behave you little goblin” She hugs him. Then bites his arm. He doesn't seem to mind. Daddy’s girl…
Everybody’s waiting on me expectantly. I shrug and let out a deep sigh, and take up the guitar. I think about what to play. A simple little song. Kinda corny but I have a soft spot for it.
I strum randomly for a bit trying to find what sounds like the right notes. Once I have them locked in I play a bastardized version of “You are my sunshine”
I’m pretty sure I missed some chords and mumbled some of the words but I did it. I don't think it sounded so bad all things considered.
“Not bad, not bad at all. You’re self taught?” Ambers mom says with a few tiny claps.
“Yes ma’am”
“You really ought to think about taking band as your elective. You have some talent but it definitely needs refinement.”
“She needs more students or the school’s gonna cut her funds” Amber blurted out. Her Mom glared death rays at her. Amber shrunk.
“She’s not entirely wrong, the school board is always looking for an excuse to give us “non essential” courses less funds and having more interested students helps to keep that from happening” She puts a hand on her forehead and sighs. “I should have applied for St. Hammods”
“I’ll definitely consider it ma’am” She gives me an approving nod.
“We better get going if we’re gonna make the reservation Fang” Mr. Mous sets Amber down and pets her head.
“Don't stay up too late, no soda after 10 and don't forget to feed Raymba”
Amber struts over and embraces me in a big hug that takes me by surprise. My face feels hot and the butterflies are throwing a rave. I know I'm standing next to a fire pit but it is REALLY warm all of a sudden…
“Thanks for paying for everything, today was really great!” I sheepishly pat her back with one arm
“Y-yea no problem, hang out again sometime?”
“For sure dude!” she takes off only stopping to wave me goodbye one last time. I wave back. anyone watching would probably think I had the stupidest look on my face because I was in another world right now.
“Ahem!” I’m snapped out of my trance and Mr.Mous was glaring at me. I fix my posture and adjust my face.
“ugh…It was a pleasure to meet you sir” I extended my hand out.
Executing Firm-Handshake.Exe
He takes it “oh uh, likewis-” His face contorts into a pain expression. Critical error: too much power to main thrusters. Activate emergency release!
He jerks his hand away and rubs it with his other.
“Jeez kid! What the fu-?!”
“ATTA BOY NOAH!” Grandpa yelled from the background. Now is not the time old man!
“Sorry Sir…I…thought you were…” I thought he was stronger. He’s glaring daggers at me. I didn't finish the thought.
Before I know it Amber’s Mom is dragging him off to who knows where.
“Let’s Go! Need muh numggies!”
Chapter 3: The Taste of Love is Sweet.
Chapter Text
“Well I think they’re cute”
“They’re not cute! That’s MY daughter, MY baby girl, my little angel and he-” I scoff with a laugh “He’s just some yahoo punk from the sticks!” The steak on my plate is really feeling the extent of my wrath as the conversation unfolds.
“Need I remind you where you came from mister Rock Bottom-Shitposting-Weeb?” She shot me an accusatory glare while sipping her wine. Alright just cause your right doesn’t mean you have to be so smug.
“That’s a low blow edge queen.” I retort with a sinister smile.
“Thats Mrs. Edge Queen! And you, are my dorky dweeb king.” All right, it got a chuckle out of me. But still this feeling is eating away at me.
“Aren’t you worried?”
“Well of course I am, But some things we can’t control…like who our daughter has a crush on.” I sink in defeat. Rubbing my temples.
“You don’t actually think that they- I mean they aren’t right?”
“Oh yea, you saw what I saw, those two are crushing”
“That’s not what I need to hear Fang!” . I bang my head against the table. “Shouldn’t we like…Do something? As her parents? She’s too young for any of this!”
“Like what Anon? Ground her?” she chuckles. I grumble. “Besides, she’s 15 now”
“Don’t. Remind me…” I lift my head from the table “That’s another thing! I feel like everytime I turn my head my little girl is getting bigger and bigger, and next thing I know she’s gonna be out of the house and in the arms of some fucking hick! And I’ll have missed all the important things in between busting my ass to make sure she gets into some prestigious college!” I throw back some wine to clear my throat.
“Feels like just yesterday I was taking the training wheels off her bike and kissing her cuts when she scraped her knees. Now suddenly it's all sports bras, feminine products I don't understand and…boys have entered the equation” I slouch low in my chair. “ It all went by in a flash…why can’t she just stay my sweet little girl forever? And the part that really kills me is I missed so, so much…” Thinking about it I really can’t help but feel like I’ve let Amber down. God I hate to think I’m the reason she falls in the arms of some deadbeat junkie, trailer park trash trigga, or raptor jesus forbid…a hick. I shudder at the thought.
Fang slides her chair over to my side of the table to get as close to me as possible.
“Anon, you’re mumbling again honey” she whispers to me.
“GOD!...dammit” I say through gritted teeth, slamming my fist on the table shaking the plates and garnering a few glances from surrounding tables. I ease up . Alright Anon calm the fuck down, don’t make a scene. I unfold my hand and give a pleading look to Fang.
“Am I a bad father?” She looks surprised by the question, then angry, then closes her eyes for a moment to collect her thoughts and gives me a reassuring smile. She puts a hand on my face and caresses my cheek, staring intensely to make sure her words are absorbed.
“You’re a great father Anon, don’t ever let anyone say different. Amber absolutely adores you. You’re doing what’s best for our little girl. She may not understand now all the sacrifices you made for her, but she will one day. And there’s still plenty of time before she’s all grown up. It might not hurt though to say no from time to time to all those overtime projects hmm?” My beautiful sweet tooth, you are my rock. I take her hand from my face and kiss it. Red washes over her cheeks as she gives me a sly smile. I’m Reminded that I am the most fortunate man in the world.
“What did I ever do to deserve you Sweet tooth?”
“You’re such a dweeb” She says in the most endearing fashion. I give her the biggest shit eating grin. Somehow in all the years its yet to get grating.
“Now let’s enjoy our night together, yea?” she leans her head on my shoulder and a hand on my chest.
“You’re right, I’m sorry for bringing down the mood…” I lean my head atop her and pet her shoulder.
“On the contrary…Seeing you get all worked up…and rough with the table…” She shrugs. “Kinda hot” I’m very glad I brought the stretch fit slacks. Fang walks two fingers up my chest teasingly.
“Maybe…” She whispers. “I can get similar treatment later” a clawed finger brushes against my chin. I slowly fix my posture in the chair and turn to face her with an eyebrow raised. She’s giving me “The look” the kind that activates neurons and returns men to ungo bungo. Juuust the two of us~
“I think you might have had too much wine” I chuckle uneasily. She shakes her head and gives me an evil smile.
“I don’t think I’ve had enough” She bites the cork off the wine bottle that was left for us and spits it off to the side, topping off our glasses.
“I was promised a night with you all to my own and fancy nuggies, and I’m all outta nuggies.” I audibly gulp.
“Fang…” She shushes me with a finger and a glass is put into my hand. Her wings draped over us like a blanket, sheltering us from the world around us.
“Forget everything else for a moment. It’s just you and me now” You would think being married for several years would get me past all the stages of being nervous. Here I am though sweaty palms, weak knees and butterflies. Here I am in utter disbelief that this woman, so out of my league, chose me.
Fang brings the glass up to my mouth and beckons me to drink. In a moment I remember from one of those cheesy romance flicks I cross arms with her with my own glass. She picks up on the gesture and the two of us assist the other in a pull of that sweet, sweet wine.
We set our glasses aside and I can't help myself from humming a bit of “just the two of us”. Fang rolls her eyes and chuckles.
“C’mere Dweeb…” I am the most fortunate man alive.
Just before our ride can reach its final destination, I am reminded that I am in fact, the unluckiest, sorry son of a bitch alive that raptor jesus himself has cursed for my sins against message boards. The blaring alarm of my phone's ringtone causes me to physically jump. My face bounces off Fang’s snoot painfully. The two of us recoiled in a series of expletives. I shoot her an apologetic look while pulling my phone out of my pocket. The mood thoroughly ruined now…
“Alright, who the fuck is-” I nearly hot potato my phone across the room doing a double-TRIPLE take at the caller id. Fang must have gotten a good look at the name too because she lets out an audible gasp, holding her face in shock. If it wasn’t for the ringtone to tell me otherwise, time felt like it sat painfully still. I hover hesitantly over the answer button, looking back at Fang who gives a silent nod to continue.
I thumb the answer button and put the phone on speaker. Gently placing it on the table in front of me. There's a moment of audible feedback like someone pacing down the open street. I think about speaking up to say something but there's a frog in my throat preventing me, instead I stay silent waiting for the ghost of the past to finally speak up.
“H-hey Anon…It’s Reed…” He chuckles and audibly sniffles. “Been a while huh?”
Understatement of the fucking century. It’s been…Fuck, a decade? More? since we last spoke and it didn’t end on good terms.
He had been on a pretty slow but severe downward spiral after his pharmaceutical business took off. Guess Reed never did learn rule one of the drug trade: Don't get high off your own supply.
It was innocent enough at first. The after show parties, “being one with nature” shroom trips, you get the idea. It even looked like party boy was slowing down when Rosa and him got hitched.
It wasn’t long after Rosa got pregnant with his kid though that shit got really out of hand. Fucken’ hell poor girl didn’t deserve the shit she went through. She always held out hope to raptor jesus that he’d get his shit together one day. Guess she had to learn the hard way.
“Gotta live the rockstar lifestyle before the old ball and chain drags me down!” “It makes me a better drummer” and other such lame ass excuses he’d throw around before cooking the ever living fuck out of his brain. Yea some of that was fun when we were kids, but I have a wife and daughter to look after now and I wanted none of his bullshit at my doorstep.
“Stay the fuck away from me and my family you goddamn junkie!” I’m pretty sure were the last words Reed ever heard from me. Something to that effect at least. The others had their own reasons for getting fed up with his shit. He even managed to get Trish of all people to give up on him. VVurm drama was good and dead at that point, Took Fang a long time to get over that. Think he even tried to release a single by himself. Burned a lotta bridges he did.
Then one day he just up and left. Disappeared off the face of the earth. Everyone had their own little theories after a while. Overdosing was the most popular. Go figure. Some thought he punched his own ticket. One rumor had it that the cartel or the IRS got em’. After a while though everyone forgot, or tried to forget. Rosa on the other hand, she had to raise their kid all on her own. Poor girl just wasn’t the same.
“Reed…I swear to fuck if after all this time you call me just to beg for drug money-”
“Nah man…nothing like that.” His voice is raspy and low. Not his typical “just ripped a phat bong hit” raspy either. Has he been crying? Doesn’t matter, I don't care. I am relieved to know he is alive at the very least.
“Reed!? Are you in trouble? Are you safe?” Fang yells from over my shoulder.
“F-Fang?! Holy shit…It’s…It’s really good to hear your voice.” He sniffles again. Sounds like he’s about to cry. “I’m fine…well, I’m not in any trouble or anything” I take a deep breath. Trying my best to stay calm.
“...what do you want Reed?” More sniffling and audio feedback. I think he’s wiping his face. There’s a painfully long pause.
“...Reed?”
“Yea I’m still here. I ugh…I just need a second to get this right.”
“I’m ugh…I’m really in over my head man” he sighs “I had a real close encounter with death recently. Really fucked myself up good and proper. Miracle I survived it. Pretty sure I shaved off a good handful of years though. Point is I got real intimate with my own mortality. Got me reconsidering a lot of things. Like how awful of a friend I’ve been and…” any attempt at hiding his crying has now failed him. It takes an effort to understand him through his mumbling sobs.
“How I failed Rosa and our son…”
“Have you talked to them ?”
“No, not yet at least” He’s ashamed to admit it.
“Don’t take this the wrong way Reed, but why did you call ME?”
“Honestly, you were just the first name in my contacts. Plus you always were a good therapist”
You know I would have been fine if I never heard from Reed again. If everyone hated him it sure as shit would be what he deserves. Hell I don’t think I’m even remotely close to forgiving him. Shit I have plenty of grudges I could rip into him for. Raptor Jesus KNOWS I don’t wanna play therapist for this shit-show But, …I’m not about to kick a man so far gone while he’s down.
“Look man, I don’t know how I could possibly help with any of that but admitting you got a problem is the first step right?” I don’t really know where I'm going with this. I don’t know the first thing about fixing a broken family, I couldn’t even get my parents to show up to my fucking wedding. Sounded like something a rehab therapist would say so I went with it.
“Yea?”
“Are you on any shit right now?”
“Three months sober actually” Sniff* Not sure I really believe that. Doesn’t matter right now though.
“Good, good. So what’s your plan now?” He laughs dryly
“You really think after calling you I have a plan?” Fang snatches the phone from the table. She has furious tears in her eyes.
“How about you start by letting everyone know you’re alive you jackass! We thought you died for fucks sake! Couldn’t even leave a message…” Her makeup was running down her face. “How could you just disappear like that!? Fucken’...why didn’t you ask for help sooner dammit!” Fang held the phone like it could feel her anger. Her grip loosened with the oncoming stream of tears. Her face contorted to fight against her quivering lips. I eased the phone out of her hand and cradled her into my shoulder.
“...I’m sorry Fang…There’s a lot I’d do differently if I could. I wish It didn’t take nearly dying to finally stop being a coward who runs from all his problems” I think he cried himself out. That one came out more coherent than the last.
“...” None of us say anything for a moment. I tried to help Fang clean her face with some napkins. Goes about as well as you’d expect. Reed breaks the silence once more.
“Listen uh…Phones gonna Die soon…I got a little apartment in the old neighborhood. Mind if we pick up this conversation in person sometime. Just a lot I’d like to say in person than over the phone ya know?”
“I really don’t think that's a good idea man…I don’t think I’m ready to-”
“Anon, I’m begging man. Please” I couldn’t give a flying fuck. You could-SHOULD have stayed gone. My wife wouldn’t be having a fucking mental breakdown right now if you did.
But now she’d be even more devastated if she found out something happened to you when we could have helped…
GOD. DAMN you Reed…
“One. You get one fucking chance Reed” I rub my face in frustration. Can’t believe I’m doing this.
“Text me the address, don’t call me, I’ll call you. Fuck this up and we. are. DONE”
“Thank yo-” I hang up and toss the phone on the table.
Fang lifts her head from my shoulder “You didn’t have to do that…” A kiss is planted on my cheek. “But I appreciate that you did” I try to put on my best reassuring smile for her.
“Anything for you sweet tooth” Surrounding tables had been staring. Most of the restaurant for that matter. Dinner and a show. Fuck me.
“Check please”
Later*
The two of us drag our feet through the door. I toss the keys on the counter. I can’t be bothered to use the rack. The only light in the house is the glow of the living room T.V.
Looks like Amber passed out playing games past her bedtime again. I don’t have the energy to be upset. It’s summer anyhow. Let her enjoy being a kid a while longer.
“I’m gonna wash off my make-up and think I’m gonna call it a night”
“I’ll join you in a bit, gonna get her to bed” Fang squeezes my arm reassuringly before heading off. I blow her a silent kiss.
Ambers out like a light. A small puddle of drool hangs off her snoot. She ever so slightly rises and falls with each peaceful breath. Adorable.
Alright Anon. Lift with your knees and…Up we go! It takes a bit more effort than I’m used to. When did she get so big?! You got this Anon this ain’t nothing. One foot in front of the other champ. Little angels counting on you.
When I get to the stairs they idly sit there mocking me. My arms are wavering. No, I refuse to give up. With a huff I steel myself and brace for the endurance test to come. This is what separates the boys from the Dads. Halfway up and sweat is forming on my head. I press on. Three fourths of the way I stumble but catch the railing to recover. Crisis averted. No...wait…
Amber creeps an eye open.
“Dad…?”
“Sorry sweetie, didn’t mean to wake you”
She rubs an eye and yawns. I could cry at the adorableness.
“I can walk to bed from here…” I shake my head at her.
“Let me do this honey” she looks confused.
“...wha- why?”
“It’s important to me”
As I tuck my darling daughter into bed, I remember all the times a younger Amber would fall asleep and I’d carry her off to bed much like tonight. There was a time she was convinced she could teleport.
Already a teenager. Fearless and full of attitude. I wish you didn’t have to get older dear. Stay young just a little longer please. She looks up at me. She has her mothers eyes. Who am I kidding? The only thing Amber got from me is a foul mouth and video game addiction. Still I couldn’t ask for a more perfect daughter.
“I love you dad” You have no idea how much strength those words give me. Warms my heart like a furnace and makes every tribulation worth it. I can feel a wetness in my eyes.
“I love you too Sweetheart” Click* “Sleep tight”
Chapter 4: For the Emperor!
Chapter Text
It’s been a handful of days since Amber and I’s mall adventure. I’ve been spending them unpacking and setting up my bedroom. Grandpa has also been keeping me busy with chores to pay off the generous loan he gave me. He even promised me an allowance if I kept up the good work. Never had one back home… Work was just, expected. Not that I would really have anything to spend it on. Now though things like salt water taffy come to mind or maybe one of those bubbly-whats-it drinks Amber liked so much. Overpriced cologne…
The events of that day keep playing out in my head on repeat. How I managed to make an ass of myself on several occasions. Still not all that sure what to make of Amber. She’s kinda all over the place. She’s got a fiery attitude, that much I’m sure of.
Despite my social fumbling however I think we got on well enough. She did hug me after all. I don’t wanna assume anything but I think…I made a friend? Acquaintance? Ugh…I don’t know. For all I know She only agreed to hangout that day out of pity or something. Who am I after all? Just some Skinnie from the sticks. Who’d wanna be friends with that?
Those parents of hers are something else too. Didn’t know a dinosapien and humans could ugh…anyhow. Mother must have skipped that one in biology.
I don’t think I exactly made the best impression on them either. Amber's dad kept giving me the evil eye all night, probably not helped by the fact her mom seems to think something else is going on. We did hold hands…maybe… No, get your head out of the clouds Noah. You just met the girl. Just being friendly. Honestly I have no idea what that was about.
I need to get my mind off this. Too in my own head right now. Idle Hands are the devil's workshop after all. Chorin’ it is.
Suns out guns out, locked and loaded with some spf 50 and a tank top. John Deere and Johnny Cash are a working boys best friend.
~Always be a good boy and never play with guns~ Well maybe not the last one Mr. Cash. Cant have any fun with an unloaded gun. Heh.
Most of the yardwork went off without much of a hitch. Hedges trimmed, gutters cleaned, and grandma's garden watered. Now most of grandpa's tools are on the up and up. This monstrosity of man's mechanical mishaps in lawn care however was by far, one of the most un-tamely beasts i've ever had to wrangle. Wd40 did little to help the rusted over grass grazer. It took a considerable effort to get the thing moving let alone actually cut. Several pass overs were needed in order to actually make a dent in the grass. My theory on grandpa dragging me out here to be his personal gardener are really starting to make sense now.
The combination of the morning heat and the exertion of energy pushing grandpa's ancient push mower across the lawn are leaving my mouth drier than death valley. I could really go for a-
As if cowboy christ himself answered my prayers.
“Yo Skin-Rash, catch!” A familiar voice cries out to me. No time to think about it though as an ice cold aluminum can of concentrated corn syrup came flying at me. Thankfully reaction speed was in my good graces and I managed to football cradle it into my chest. Amber strolls up the driveway with a can of her own.
“Who you callin skin-rash, chicken little?” I laugh playfully. She rolls her eyes with a chuckle.
“Looked like you could use a drink, redneck. Saw you sweating bullets all the way from my place using that…” She points at the rusted over piece of shit that passes for a lawn mower. “Thing”
“...Yea Its not ideal” I give the thing a kick. It rattles and creaks apathetically. “ ‘Preciate it though” waving the carbonated cocktail. I thumb the tab and- SPSSSSSSS! Amber and I are showered in sugar water. Most of which catches me in the face. You are fucking bright as night Noah. Amber is in hysterics laughing. I use my tank top as an improvised rag to wipe my face. She’s giving me this goofy smile when I look back up. I ignore it and return my attention to the soft drink. I get ready to throw it back when Amber grabs my arm. I shoot her a confused look but she continues, wrapping an arm around mine with her drink. The Hell is she-?
“Race ya!” Ah, so that's what she’s up to. I’d have liked to enjoy my drink a little but I’m game.
“Alright, say when” She smiles and takes a power stance, prepping for our sugar rush showdown.
“On three…One…twooo…THREE!” In a flash we press the carbonated concoctions to our faces. Gravity isn’t gonna be enough to win this race, we need pressure. I crush the edges of the can and make a swirling motion in order to allow the liquid to flow more freely. With a belch and crushed can victory was mine. Refreshing.
“NO! ~URRRPP~ FAIR!”
“Nice execution…”
“You only won cause you spilled half of it on your face”
“All in the technique chicken wing” I turn and bow to an imaginary crowd. The Ptero takes the opportunity to shove me into the grass.
“How's that for technique?” She stands over me triumphantly
“That any way to treat a champion?” She plops down beside me and pelts me with a handful of freshly cut grass. It rains down on me like confetti.
“Theres your prize champ”
“Someones jealous” I toss some grass confetti back at her.
“Nugh ugh”
“Yuh huh” I can't help but burst into laughter. The absurdity of it all. The winged wonder seems to share the same sentiment and both of us spend a good minute just losing it. As the laughter dies down I wipe the water out of my eye. I turn to face Amber who lies next to me on the grass with her head in her hands.
“Hey Amber…” she tilts her head my way
“Are we friends?” She looks confused. Did I say something wrong? I can feel my heartbeat pick up.
“You don’t think I was being mean to you do you?” She sounds…Worried? What? “You know I was just messing with you right?”
“Wha-? No, I know yer just teasing. That's not what I’m saying-” She sits up to be more attentive.
“Then why’d you ask it like that? What do you mean?” I mean I thought it was a pretty straight forward question…
“I mean…I’ve never had a friend before. I just…wanted to be sure thats what. This. Is.” I absentmindedly hold a clump of grass in front of me watching the blades of grass flutter back down on myself little at a time. Man, I am really not good at this. Facing back at her, the look on her face shifted from confusion to sympathy.
“Well, I’d like to think we are” She shrugs and twiddles some of her feathers. Wow. I’ll be damned. Just like that huh? I almost don’t believe what I'm hearing.
“Really?”
“Yer killin’ me skins! Yes, I’ll be your friend!” She punches my leg. I exhale deeply than get a lung full of that crisp coastal air.
“Cool” The word leaves my mouth with some shakiness. I don’t care, I have a smile ear to ear that nothing could take off right now.
I’m pelted with more grass.
“Don’t make it weird dude” She stands up and dusts herself off. “Speaking of friends, I’m meeting them later for a game night. You wanna tag along?”
“Are they gonna be cool with that?” She doesn’t answer. Instead she whips out her phone and starts tapping away at the screen in rapid succession. Several audible pings ring out.
“Yea they dont mind but you’re new guy so you’re buying the snacks tonight”
“What kinda rule is that?”
“The kind I just made up” I give her a flat look. “Here give me your phone so I can add you to the group chat”
I do as she obliges. It’s an older hand me down model but still has most of the bells and whistles of a modern phone. That's to say, a lot of useless add ons. Matching gems does help pass the time on the toilet though…After a minute of fiddling with our phones she tosses mine back to me. I do a quick scroll of the conversation I was added to.
Group Name : Jurassic Jabronis 2 Electric Snootaloo.
Amber: Yall cool if I bring a friend tonight?
Otto: 👍
Spike: whomst'd've???
Amber: That Skinnie who ate shit yesterday lol
Spike: lol
Rylee: lmao even.
Spike: he have an army???
Amber: No lol. Just let him borrow one of yours.
Spike: BRUH. does he know how to play?
Rylee: u and Greene are the only one who know how to actually play spike
Spike: Yea I know…I keep telling you knuckle draggers to actually read your codex. Where is he btw?
Amber: no lol and summer camp
Spike: frick you 🤬
Amber: did you just say frick you nerd? 🤨
Spike: Otto got grounded last time his dad saw the group chat 😕. Looking at you greene.
Amber: oh yea 😅
Otto: 🥺 he took my xrocks away.
Amber: So anyways can he come?
Rylee: I dont care lol
Spike: Ugh I don’t really feel like teaching someone else how to play tonight.
Amber: He’ll buy snacks.
Otto: get duh snack mix wiff duh peanuts!
Spike: Ight he can come. 👍
Spike: no cheetos though. Yall mfs cant be trusted 😑
Amber: Bitchin’
Rylee: gonna get me and otto in trouble again
Amber: shid hol up lol
Amber:dfslgjkhsd
Amber: asdftgdfh
Amber: dfhpijdfgoi
Amber: jfsdgjsfdfg
Rylee: yea that doesnt look suspicious at all…
>Noah Buddy Joins the chat.
Rylee: If Ambers bringing a friend can I bring mateo?
Spike: No lol
Amber: HELL NO
Otto: 😨
Amber: is your dad really gonna freak over “hell” ???
Otto: Maybe? I dunno lol. I just dont want my xrocks taken again 🥺
>Amber changed Noah Buddy’s Nickname to : Snack Sugar Daddy
Snack Sugar D: Wtf? NO!
>Snack Sugar Daddy changed their nickname to: Noah
Rylee: you guys suck…Welcome to the chaos noah
Spike: Wait you can give nicknames? How u do dat?
>Amber changed Spike’s nickname to: Weather boy
Amber: Wouldnt u like to know.
Weather boy: i hate u
Noah: u can find it in group chat settings.
Weather boy: thnx bro
>Weather boy changed their nickname to: GATOR-EMPEROR OF DINOKIND
Amber: K.Y.S
Rylee: cringe
Greene: I had to stop my airsofting to call you an F-slur
>GATOR-EMPEROR OF DINOKIND changed their nickname to: Spike
Spike: No u
Alright enough of that.
Later: Amber and I reconvened at the local Mini-mart after I took a break to get the stink off me with a shower and change of clothes. Had a run in with grandpa asking where I was going in a hurry. I explained as best I could the situation and he slipped me a twenty. Have I mentioned I love my grandpa to death?
“So what kinda snacks do dinos like anyhow?”
“This a setup to some shitty pun?”
“No?”
“...The regular kind?”
“Dont need anything special for the herbies?”
“Why would a herbie need something special?”
“You know how vegans get. Ooo Is this organic? I can only eat organic. I just can’t do processed foods. And then have the gull to get upset at the fact that all they have are those stale veggie stick crisp things that no one likes but has to pretend to so they dont feel inferior to normal folk with proper taste.”
Amber tosses a bag of chips in the shopping cart.
“Or those shitty rice patty things”
“figure it out I tells em’”
“Mmhmm…” some more assorted snacks are dumped in the cart.
“Like why even show up to the barbeque if you're just gonna sulk the whole time in the corner with your subpar gas station salad? Just brings the whole mood down ya know? Don’t need that kinda stink getting on my steak”
“Ugh…”
“Fucking figure it out. Like don’t get me wrong I like a vegetable medley as much as the next fellow but to live off nothing but rabbit food? Couldn’t be me…Corn on the cob though fuck me I could eat that all day.”
“Noah?”
“Yeah?”
“The snacks?” There is such a thing as too much vegan talk and a fella oughta be aware of it.
“Right sorry. Okay let's take inventory her- …Pump the brakes”
“What?”
“What is the deal with all this flaming hot fuckery? Not a neutral chip in sight. Secondly, Where's the barbeque big bird?”
“I like spicy chips, and what the hells a neutral chip?”
“A neutral chip is the palette cleanser in between flavored chips, plain salted. Dip optional but appreciated. You keep a neutral chip around because flavored chips go fast. A Neutral chip slows things down some. An appetizer for your appetizer if you will and a flavor anyone can enjoy. Its the selfless choice” .
“I guess that makes sense in a kinda retarded way” Ignoring that last part.
“Tell ya what, meet ya half way. One bag of flaming fluff, One plain potato and one barbeque. Maybe some rex mix for good measure.”
“Flaming hot rex mix?”
“Mmm…” She makes a display of giving me puppy eyes and fluttered lashes.
“Pwetty pwease”
“Mmm…K. so long as you never make that voice again”
Okay onwards. Sodas Sorted, Chips chapped and the cart carries on to the checkout. Alls well that ends well until a tiny ptero saunters over sheepishly with a twinkle in her eye and taffy in her hand. She puts on a proper play of pleading puppy eyes. Silently suggesting selecting the savory sweet treat. Well as it is written as it is told, as above so below, chuck it in the fuck it bucket cause the hick said so.
Even Later: We Had to take a trip through the metro, a first for me. The excitement of that prospect wore off fast with the sticky seats and claustrophobic environs. It wasn't all bad though. I had to hang onto the railing since most of the seats were taken up. Amber held onto my arm since she couldn't reach.
She keeps…sniffing the air round me. Do I smell? I pretend to stretch and check my pits. No that's not it.
“Is that you?” She asks, inching her snoot closer to me. Did someone rip ass in here or something whats the deal?
“I ugh...don't know? Is it bad?”
“No, It smells really nice” that's a relief. She inches closer looking for the source. And then it hits me like a train. That stupid cologne from the other day. I threw some on after my shower. Really getting my money's worth out of it apparently. I lift my shirt to give it a whiff. I mean it's not a bad smell but I don’t really get the appeal.
“Are you smelling my cologne?” She pulls at my shirt and fills her nostrils. A look of elation spreads across her face.
“Yeaaaah…” She's really getting in there…A few things dawn on me. One just how close we are to each right now and two how many side eyes we have on us.
“Amber?”
“Hmm?”
“Not that I don't appreciate you appreciating my cologne and all, and I hate to be a party pooper, but mayhaps this is getting a little too close for comfort?” Her face goes bright red as she takes in her surroundings. I’m probably not doing much better myself. She makes a point to put a foots distance between us looking away, clearing her throat and fixing her posture. The air is painfully awkward now.
“...” Sniff*
“...” Cough*
“It’s really nice cologne…”
“Well, you definitely don't wanna be going around with…bad…cologne…?” …you are fucking up fierce bud.
“...yeah”
“Yup” Kill. Me. Now. “So…what’s this game we’re gonna be playing anyhow?” She perks up as if the last minute never even happened.
“Oh, It’s called Warhammer! You make all these goofy armies fight each other”
“Huh. Is it like Risk?” She scratches her chin thinking
“The nerds would prolly have a shit fit if they heard you say that but…kinda” She shrugs. “My brother and Spike could tell you more I just kinda like causing mayhem with my ork army”
“You have a brother? How come I haven’t seen em’ around?”
“Him and his larp buddies are at some summer long airsoft event”
“Larp?”
“Yea like, they dress up in military gear and pretend to be in a warzone or something shooting toy guns at each other”
“Sounds kinda cool actually”
She winces “For how seriously they take it I dunno if cool is the word I’d use but he has fun with it so…”
“Must be pretty involved for them to be there all summer”
“Eh, they spend most of the time jerkin each other off over how much they spent on their stupid fake guns for stupid assholes.” She mumbles some more expletives to herself.
“You speaking from experience or something?”
“...No. I mean…Greene wont let me play with them cause he's afraid i'll embarrass him or something. Says his group doesn't need another barracks bunny incident, whatever the hell that means” I don’t have the heart to tell her… “But I know it’s really because last time I convinced them to let me play they kicked me out cause I judo threw a guy who tried to sneak up on me. My bad I thought we were supposed to be in a war. No one told me cqc was off the table. Pricks”
“Wait, you know judo?”
“Yea I’m a blue belt currently”
“Well look at you Betty badass” She smiles bashfully
“Its nothing really they hand out belts like candy”
“Well you managed to put the airsoft prick on his ass, that of itself is pretty impressive if I do say so. And I do say so”
“Heh. Thanks… You ever been in a fight, Noah?”
Far too many for my liking. Lets stick to one story for now though.
“Hmm…Well there was this one time when some of the ranchers back home were getting properly hammered on rot gut whiskey and saying some things they ought not to. One pudgy prick called Ma a cow and I hucked a couple haymakers his way. Ended up breaking his nose and knocked him out cold though the whiskey probably assisted with that”
“Damn, THAT'S impressive”
“Ah it was nothing. Whiskey did most of the work”
“Still broke the guys nose”
“Shoulda seen what Pa did to em after he found out what he said. He went wolverine mean on the sumbitch. Really rearranged his face. They’re still great drinking buddies though if ya can believe it”
“I dunno if I could forgive someone bad mouthing my parents so easily”
“Well to be fair Ma can be a bit of a cow at times.” She laughs at that. “It might be a small town thing, we settle our beefs over a good scrap than bury the hatchet over some beers when the dust settles. You’re forced to lives with these people after all might as well learn how to lives with em Pa says”
“If you lived in such a tight knit community, how come I’m your first friend?” Good question. One I wasn’t really ready for. I mean there wasn't a lot of kids my age I wasn't beefing with but it's not like I didn't know any. Come to think of it, I probably could have made some. I think it was just comfortable to stay in my lane. Everyone was happy with their little cliques. Why spoil that? I was always content doing my own thing. Chorin’ and tending to errands. Trying to keep my head low.
“I guess I never tried before” Not sure how I feel admitting that. She stared at me for a time. Then as if satisfied by the answer turned her attention elsewhere in silence. The rest of the ride continued that way.
Eventually we arrived at our destination. As we make our way out of the metro I'm pulled by the arm.
“Noah…?”
“What's up?”
“I…” She hesitates for a moment trying to find the words. “I just wanted to say thanks for being so nice…buying everything and all. I’ll pay you back sometime, promise”
I try to wave it off “That's nice of ya, but you don’t gotta do that”
“...” she doesn’t look too sure.
“Seriously don’t worry about it, I did this cause I wanted to. Now let’s go commit miniature scale war crimes or whatever we’re doing”
Finally we made it to Spike’s place. It's in a particularly nice neighborhood. Pools and everything.
I’m greeted at the door by a brand new Mr. Clean. I guess Amber texted ahead of time to let em know we’re coming. He’s not quite as big as Amber's dad but I could easily mistake one for the other. The shades and stubble are what really sets him apart. That and the fact he isn’t throwing daggers at me with his eyes. He looks…tired if I had to describe him.
“Amber! My you’re getting big! The others are waiting for you in the garage come on in”
Amber passes by me to give the man a hug. It’s…not exactly a cheery one either…
“How are you all holding up Inky?” Weird name. He returns a solemn smile and half hearted hug.
“We’re…hanging in there sweetheart. Go on now Spike worked real hard to get this set up for you guys, don’t keep him waiting” I feel like It’d be rude to ask what the hells going on but…maybe I’ll ask Amber later. Play it safe for now Noah. I must have been spacing out. Hearing my name brings me back.
“-His is Noah…” aw hell. Think fast.
“Oh! Pleasure to meet you sir, thanks for having us” There's something off. The man is not all that present right now. I think a firm handshake might not be the call here. Instead giving a polite wave as we make our way past. He does try his best to smile for me, I think. He takes his leave to some other section of the house leaving Amber and I alone.
The interior of the house is something else. The walls are lined up with various oil paintings, movie posters, and scenic photography . Even the furniture is kinda artsy. Swanky. A piece that stands out to me is this surreal caricature of a baryonyx. His expressions are loud and happy as if captured in motion of a laugh or cheer but the use of colors are dull and drowning. Gradients of greys and blue that I could only describe as “crying” or melting off the otherwise cheery demeanor the faces portray. The background looks like the world falling in on itself or swallowed by the void. The metaphors of art are lost on people like me but whoever made this was definitely skilled in their craft.
As if she could read my mind, Amber stops me in the hallway.
“I’ll explain whats going on sometime later but for now its really best if you don’t know. Try not to bring any attention to it. Lets just focus on having fun tonight alright?” Everything got so tense all of a sudden.
“Yea, you got it” I take one last look back at the painting. Now the metaphors of art are lost on me, but I think I’m starting to understand.
I throw the bag of snacks over my shoulder and catch up with Amber.
That painting almost looks like Spike. Almost.
I kinda wanna ask why her dad and “Inky” look the same but now doesn’t feel like a good time.
“We’re Heeere!” Amber shouts making her way to the garage. I trail behind her sheepishly. The kids cheer and exchange high fives and fist bumps. I have this gnawing feeling like I don't belong here. Like I'm intruding on someone else's territory. The odd one out.
I nearly jump out of my own skin when a soft and hairy entity wraps itself around my legs. Oh…It’s just the mammoth kid.
“You better get used to it, Ottos a hugger” His older sister says from across the room. Chewies looking up at me with these dinner plate doe eyes. Cute kid. I give em a head pat and try to slink past him. He wanders back over to his sister after giving Amber a hug too.
“Whoa…Impressive setup you got here man” That's underselling it. The whole garage had been turned into this Scifi battleground. Impressively detailed buildings in miniature and wartorn terrain. Not to mention all the fancy looking army men.
“Like, I dunno what I was expecting but it wasn't...This!”
Spike perks up from his chair setting aside the figure he was messing with. “If you think this is cool you should see what they do for the local tourneys!”
“There’s tournaments for this sorta thing?”
“Oh yea, huge ones too. Money prizes and everything” Man this is really involved stuff. Pretty impressive though
“Only if you can survive Nurgles strongest deodorant dodgers” The mammoth added
“yea…Those tourneys def have a signature odor”
“What's Nurgle?”
“Don't get Spike started on the lore…” The Gator boy plants a seat next to me
“I’ll be quick about it Amber. Promise” He did not keep that promise. Interesting stuff mind you, But it just Keeps. On. Going. There's a snowball's chance I'm gonna remember any of this when the time comes. Cowboy Christ, that's a lot of lore. One tangent just leads into another. I can’t even keep up with the terminology being thrown my way at breakneck speed. He sounds so genuinely passionate about all of this I’d hate to interrupt him but we’re burning daylight here and the others are looking pretty out of it too. Amber’s been tearing into a bag of chips spacing out, Rylee texting her guy friend and Otto…I think Ottos just happy to be here. He’s playing with some of the models like action figures.
“And the mechanicus are these engineers from mars who-” I gotta put a stop to this.
“Hey bud, That's cool and all-”
“Spike Shut the hell up about the lore and lets play already!” Amber blurted out. While I’m glad I didn’t end up being the one to do it , It feels kinda bad to rain on his parade. Plus we’re at HIS house and all. The joy he had on his face is replaced by embarrassment. Man, I feel like an asshole now.
“Sorry guys…I didn’t mean to get carried away. Again”
“Hey man I’d love to hear more about it later” There's excitement on his face again.
“Really?! I mean, Yea I can tell you more about it sometime” I give him a reassuring nod and thumbs up.
“You two can suck each other off later, let's get this dick rolling already!” Amber really has a way with words doesn’t she?
Spike rises from his chair and walks over to the shelf of miniatures. Studying them intensely.
“We Just gotta figure out what’ll be a good army for our new friend here” We’re already throwing around the friend word? Who knew it was this easy?
“Why not start em off with something easy like the blueberry boys?” Rylee suggests
“Ew, no!” Spike recoiled.
“Is that what they’re really called?”
Amber leans over to me “Nah the community just likes to call em that cause they’re lame. They’re called ultramarines”
“Are they not a good army?” The entire room erupts in laughter.
“Without getting into another lore dump, nah they’re good. Too good sometimes” Okay…?
“Space wolves?”
“I ain’t fighting furries tonight! Not a dig at you Rylee yer great!” Rylee gives Amber the digit of disdain. Amber returns her own two finger salute. I think it's supposed to be endearing.
“Well what kinda stuff do you want your army to be good at or do?”
“Hell I dunno, shoot a bunch of big guns?”
“I can work with that…”
The little mammoth jumps up in his chair “H-he would p-pro-probably like tau” Man, the little guy really has a hard time with words.
“I cannot in good conscience allow him to play tau”
“What's wrong with tau?”
“Besides their bullshit railguns and annoying drones? space commies”
“Ah”
“We could give em an ork army. I’ll show em the ways of BIG SHOOTAS AND MO’ DAKKA!”
“MO’ DAKKA”
“MO’ DAKKA”
“MO’ DAKKA” They said in unison.
“I love yer green boyz Amber but there's no way in hell i'm dealing with two ork players after what you and Otto pulled last time”
“Waaagh!” the little guy cheers.
“What about the Iron warriors? They’re basically the embodiment of becoming a sentient gun”
“True but like, chaos is cringe”
“You’re a thousands son player!”
“Magnus did NOTHING WRONG!”
“Don’t you fucking start with me Spike…” I lean back in my chair to stretch while the others continue arguing over the armies. I start snacking on some barbecue chips. A rogue tasty tater falls down my shirt and as I go to reach for it some figures catch my eye. Unlike all the elaborate power armor dudes and freaky aliens they were just normal run of the mill soldiers. They were standing around a couple tanks and artillery pieces. I get out of my chair to get a closer look.
“Hey Spike, what about these guys?”
“Oh, Those guys? Thats the Guard or Astra militarum. Owners of the humble lasgun and say it with me gang…”
“THE BANEBLADE!”
“THE BANEBLADE!”
“THE BANEBLADE!”
“THE BANEBLADE!”
“They’re the underdogs of the game but if you like big tanks and supporting sentry fire they’re the army for you”
“They kinda remind me of my grandpa”
“Think we found your army then. Now, I printed out some cheat sheets to help you understand how to play-”
About an hour later or so and the match finally wraps up. I made a lot of misplays and Spike had to babysit me to get the rules right. Apparently it's not a good idea to try to take an objective with a unit of Joe schmoes while big axe swinging orks are in the way. I was smart enough or lucky enough to put some dents into the other units with my tanks though, even managed to take out one of Rylees grey knight dudes. I didn’t really have the heart to go after Otto and his bugs which turned out to be a terrible idea being they ate my men for breakfast. I even managed to kill one of my own units when his gun blew up in his face. Got a laugh out of everyone. I thoroughly got my shit rocked at this game but despite that I was having a surprising amount of fun. Spike eventually took the game with his space wizards on steroids.
Spike takes a victory lap gloating and hurrahing. That is until an ominous figure wheels up behind him in a squeaky chair.
“Are ya winning son?” Her voice sounds like she gargles gravel for fun. Spike turns to face her with terror in his eyes. Is he in trouble? She wheels herself into the light. She has a box full of mech looking figures. Her voice doesn’t do her looks justice. Man dino women have such gorgeous eyes…
“You kids mind if I play a round?” The kids share uneasy glances. Whats the big deal?
“Mama Liv’s gonna spank ya again Spike!” Rylee Jeers.
“Gonna wipe us is what's gonna happen” Amber adds
“I thought ork players didn’t get salty Amber” Not this one. She’s been seething at every loss she took all game. I heard slurs and swears I didn’t even know existed.
Spike sinks into his chair groaning. As his mom sets up her army she looks over to mine
“Who’s playing The guard?”
“Oh Mom, this is Noah he’s new in town…its his first time playing too” I had a mouthful of barbeque chips when they called me out. I can only manage a wave of the hand in response.
“New to the game huh? Why don't I coach you through this round then. Have a little team up?”
“MMph…” I choke down the chips to talk “That’d be great ma’am, I have no freaking clue what I’m doing. What army is that anyways?”
“Tau” oh. OOoohhhh…
After playing a round with Olivia (as she prefers to be called) on my team I can see why this army has a reputation. She’s wiping out regiments before they can even fire back while sending scouting drones to capture objectives for her.
Unlike Spike who only gave me the basic rundown of how to play Olivia was very patient in explaining the more nuanced strategies between my army and the others. My casualty rates were still pretty high for my guys but I was doing miles better than before under Olivia's watchful eye. She even filled me in on some of the larp speech. Before I knew it I was throwing out “For the emperors” and “die xenos scum” When all other armies but ours were the last standing she turned her railguns on me.
“Die well Gue’la” as she gave me a warrior salute.
“I give my life for the emperor.” I salute her back. She then obliterated my men in a laughable amount of gunfire.
“Well that was fun kids but I think I'm gonna call it a night…”
“Thanks again for showing me the ropes Mrs. Halford!”
“Olivia…and you’re welcome”
Spike races out of his chair to meet his mom in the hallway. I can’t help but overhear their conversation.
“Hey Mom, I’m really glad you joined us. Its nice seeing you leave that room”
“I’m trying honey. Tonight was fun though”
“Do it again soon?”
“Well see honey”
“You’re not upset with me are you?”
“Why would I be upset?”
“I dunno I- I thought you might be upset I let my friend use Trents army without asking”
I catch the other kids wincing at the mention of the name.
There's a deafening silence. I want to ask but I think I already know. I made a promise to Amber anyhow.
“...I’m not upset.” Her wheelchair rolls off with that.
Spike returns shortly after leaning against the doorframe.
“I think I’m all table-topped out fellas and lady fellas. How bout we watch some tv or something?”
“Whadaya have in mind?”
“Ever heard of gundam?”
The rest of the night was spent with Spike trying to explain the robot lore to me while Amber kept telling him to shut up during fight scenes. Otto passed out and Rylee was texting “Her Mayns”
I bust out the bag of taffy I’ve been saving until the point and Amber is already putting a hand through the bag. Tossing pieces in the air to catch in her maw.
At some point we all separate for bathroom breaks. Rylee takes the opportunity to take a seat next me.
“So noah…”
“Rylee”
“You and Amber huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“Little birdie told me you and Amber we’re holding hands at the mall”
“I think theres been a misundersta-”
“And that you were playing her love songs by the fire. Pretty romantic stuff”
“How’d you even-”
“OH MY GAWD I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GU-”
“RYLEE!” I didn't mean to startle her but FUCK.
“We’re not…Whatever you think we are…Cowboy Christ why does everyone keep saying that? Haven't even known the girl for a week”
“Coulda fooled me…”
“Whadda you mean?” I squint at her.
“I see the way you guys eye each other. How you always sit so close to one another. How your voices change in pitch when you talk to each other”
“It ain't like that, and they do not” Now is not a good time butterflies. My face is getting warmer too. I don't wanna give this maple muncher the satisfaction.
“You have a crush on her don't you?” she jabs accusatory fingers in my side. I swat them away.
“...Nugh ugh” I’m on my last line of defense here if you can't tell.
“Why not? She’s a pretty girl eh?”
“...” Rylee leans in jabbing fingers again
“Riiiight?” I’m as red as a tomato now.
“...I suppose, now will you get off it?”
“I KNEW IT!”
“Shut up”
The others are making their way back. Rylee leans in to whisper
“Good luck lover boy, she's a handful” The hell is that supposed to mean? She gets up to surrender her seat back to Amber who eyes both of us suspiciously before plopping back down besides me.
“So what’re you two tal-”
“SO HOW COME YOUR DAD AND SPIKES DAD LOOKS THE SAME?”
Chapter 5: Bonus chapter: Ice Cold Hands Take Hold of Me
Chapter Text
Cough Cough* “Ugh…this hospital soup blows”
“You ain't missing out much, Dad tried cooking again tonight”
“What was it this time?”
“Something italian…I think”
A laugh turns into another coughing fit.
“Y-you know what I’d kill for right now?”
“Hmm?”
“Mom’s homemade chili”
“I can ask her to make you some”
“I don’t want to be a bother…Mom already has enough to deal with”
“...”
“Are you feeling…any better?” He doesn’t answer. He’s lost in thought staring out his room window. It's snowing out
“Hand me my sketch book, its in the drawer there”
“Sure thing”
“Spike, do you remember when we were kids and it snowed for the first time?”
“Yea I remember how that snowball you accidentally packed a rock into cracked the window to dads car.”
“Or how mom was yelling at us to get inside or we’d get sick”
“You…did get sick though. Sickest I ever saw you and that's saying something”
“...”
“...”
“I never did get to finish that snowman”
“...Whatcha drawing?”
He pats some open space on his bed for me to sit on. I slide in next to him. He puts a shaky hand on my shoulder with one hand and another holding his sketchbook up for me to see. I help him hold it steady so I can get a better look.
It's a scenic sketch of townspeople doing various activities in the snow. With just a pencil he even manages to capture the shading of light.
“How do you do that so easily?”
“Years of practice little bro”
“Wish I could do something like that”
“Nothings stopping you” He puts the sketchbook in my lap “Here draw me something”
“I can't draw…”
“Humor me Spike”
“Alright well, what should I draw?”
“What do you want to draw?”
“How about I draw us?” Cough* Cough* He gives me a thumbs up and continues to cough in his arm.
Its…really not a good drawing. Glorified stick figures with cartoony smiles. I show him the poor attempt.
He smiles and chuckles a little.
“I told you I can’t draw…” He grabs the sketchbook and props it in between us.
“Here…follow my lead I’ll show you how I do it”
“Start with some guidelines and simple shapes…your stick figures are a perfect example-”
Comparing our final products side to side Trent’s is a work of art as expected. I did my best to follow his instructions. Proportions are off in some areas and there's uncanniness in our faces.
“ahh…I fucked it up”
“No, you’re improving. Look how much better you are from when you started”
“I guess but its not like Mom and Dad are gonna hang this one up on the fridge”
“Don’t make something to try and impress them. Make something because you enjoy making it. That’s what art is all about. It's for you”
“Don’t you want people to like your art, isn’t that why you try so hard to be good at it?”
“Of course I want others to appreciate my art but at the end of the day it's what the art means to me. I always want to improve because then I can better capture those emotions, moments and things that mean something to me. If I make something that makes ME happy, who cares what anyone else thinks?”
“...” I flip back the page of the sketchbook back to the townspeople in the snow.
“What were you trying to capture in this one?”
He stares outside his window again.
“I really wanted to finish that snowman…”
Trent Suffered from a severe immunodeficiency. He died of pneumonia.
I still see that damned snowman in my dreams…
Chapter 6: Cheers, Jeers, and crocodile tears.
Notes:
Sorry This one took so long to get out. Went through several re-writes until I finally settled on something alongside hitting a wall of sorts, personal life stuff the works. Also part of what took it so long to get out was wanting to make it a longer chapter. Eventually I decided I would save those scenes for future chapters. So anyhow here it finally is.
Chapter Text
“What do you mean they look the same?!” Amber gave me a scrutinizing look while folding her arms.
“What do YOU mean, What do I mean?! The only way I can tell these bald bastards apart is because Mr. Sunglasses at night accessorizes!”
“That’s kinda racist man…” Spike said while channel surfing for something else to watch.
My face scrunches in confusion and I look at him, pause, then look back at him.
“...what?” He just looked back at me with a coy smile and shrugged dramatically.
Tagging herself back in, Amber continued her assault. “Yea what are you trying to say, all skinnies look the same? Fucked up dude…”
I began to say something but my tongue got caught in my eyeteeth and I couldn’t see what I was saying. Best I could muster out coherently was something to the effect of “ohforfuckssake” dragging my hands across my face in an attempt to gain some composure.
“What. Do you MEAN?!”
Spike cut the tension laughing. “We’re just fucking with you man, they’re cousins” Ambers chuckling confirms it. I breathe a bit easier.
Hadn’t considered that…Hell, I didn’t think I’d actually get an answer. I was just buying time…Still not sure why both of their heads are as barren as a field in winter but whatever.
“Anyone ever told you, you guys have a weird family tree?”
“ ‘Least it's not a family pool, farm boy.” Amber tried her best to mimic my so-called accent.
“Hardy har…” I tried to look unamused but snorted out a laugh in our short stare off. Her smug grin only grew wider as a result.
“Wait, you actually lived on a farm?” Rylee’s question made me realize I haven’t actually properly introduced myself to the group yet. After giving them the condensed version of why my sorry ass got dragged out here in the first place, I gave them a bit of background on the “thrilling” life of pruning trees and mixing mulch. Pretty inane stuff to me and I didn’t put much stock in these guys finding it interesting either, but to my surprise they were listening like I was revealing the secrets of alchemy or something.
“Gonna miss your friends and family while you're out here? I know when Otto and I left Canada it was an adjustment.” The little guy lifted his head in a groggy haze at the mention of his name. Ashamed to admit I had kinda forgotten he was here…Blinking one eye at a time he surveyed the room with a “huh?” expression.
Friends? Pfft we know that story already…Mom and Dad though? I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting a bit being sent away. Crazy to think I’ll be an adult next time I see them…
Not trying to bring the mood down with my melancholy I do my best to sound unfazed.
“Eh, didn’t ever have much time for socializing so…” I shrug “Sure I’ll miss my parents some but, who wouldn’t right?”
“I can think of a few…” Rylee said under her breath. An uncomfortable silence takes the room for a moment. She shakes her head to herself then returns to the conversation at hand. “Nah yeah that makes sense…”
“...”
“So ugh, Canada EH? What's that like?”. Rylee returns a look to me that's half annoyed, half smile. Seeing I hit my mark I give her a big shit eating grin.
“Besides the cold and free healthcare? It ain’t too different here pardner”
I lean over to Amber in a whisper “...Do I really sound like that?”
“Snort* Yeah.”
“Damn…”
“I mean I guess there's more fur and cavemen, less scales up north, and like…bagged milk” Rylee added.
“The hell are you supposed to do with a damn bag of milk?”
“Wha- Drink it??? Put it in your cereal I don’t fuckin’ know!” The milk-bagger gives me a baffled look. I have to stop myself from blurting out “Well no shit!”
“What, you just use it all in one go? How the hell are you supposed to store it?”
“NO YOU!-” she sighs then takes a deep breath. Pantomiming her actions “you cut off the corners then put it in a pitcher”
“Well no guff but that sounds like overhandlin’ to me...”
“It’s efficient!” She protested.
“A carton is efficient…”
She rolled her eyes and gave an exhausted grunt.
“I tell ya what's really efficient. Having neighbors who run a dairy farm. Good folk but that son of theirs is a fucking dial tone”
Otto piped up telling Rylee to tell us all about Tim Hortons, where we learned of such lingo as “Timbits” and “Double-Double” paid for in fuckin’ Looney-tunes money. Rylee was quite adamant that NO it wasn't just Canadian Snootbucks. They put gravy on french fries and suddenly think they got something special. Kay’ bud, you wanna blow smoke, go have a dart.
After being culturally enriched on the importance of melting your cheese curds and all dressed chips, Spike got inspired and put on some show about adventures exploring dungeons for food.
Damn, now I’m hungry…Ugh- show was pretty good too. Compared to all the mech stuff, this was a bit more digestible, no pun intended. The others kept joking that I looked like the human. Guess because we’re both blond? I try to take it as a compliment. He’s an endearing character after all.
We only got a few episodes in before we realized how late it actually was. Had better get a move on if we still wanted to catch our train. Time flies when yer’ having fun.
We did a quick round saying our goodbyes and thanking Spike for having us over before starting our mad dash for the metro.
—
“I wiiiin~!” I could hear Amber cheering ahead of me at the station. She wanted to race to the metro...Well more like declared it as she bolted down the street like a greyhound off their leash once we left Spike’s.
I finally managed to catch up with her. She’s waiting by the benches.
“You…Gave yourself a head start…” I say slumping over on the bench to heave in more precious air.
“Snort* Whatever loser. When's the train getting here?”
Checking the displays overhead we actually got here earlier than expected.
“Buh…Looks like we got another fifteen minutes or so”
She plugs some earbuds in her phone and offers me one.
“Wanna listen to some tunes while we wait?”
“What kinda music are we talking about?” I ask, taking the earbud in my hand.
“Ugh, like rock, metal and some video game osts…”
“Wouldn’t have pegged you for a metalhead”
She shrugs.
“I grew up listening to that kinda stuff with my mom. She loves it. ‘Cept she’d get all pissy if I just called it metal and not ~Nu-wave shit-fart folk noise core plague-death~ or whatever new shit she’s listening to.”
…What?
“Those were…certainly words…ugh, as long as it's not that pig-squealing screamo crap…I’m fine with it”
“Why ‘cause it’ll remind you of home?”
“...Pff-Terrible joke”
“You laughed!”
“Get real”
“I see that smile” She got me. It was no doubt a bad joke, but it got a smirk outta me.
“Yea alright comedian, play your music”
It's aggressive, noisy, and reeks of teen angst. And you know what? Not half bad.
She swings away at the air on an imaginary drum set, throwing up horns and headbanging along to the beat. Her energy was infectious and I joined the band with some air guitar riffs.
Our invisible GuitarHero session was cut short by a woman's voice calling out.
“Amber?! Whatta ya doing out here at this hour kiddo?”
As I look up towards the source of the voice my head is yanked sideways as Amber jumps off the bench whipping the earbud out violently with an audible pop.
Fucking. Ouch.
“Aunt Tracy!” Amber rushes over to a yellow dino woman, raptor from the looks, wheeling around a food stand. “Tracy’s hotdogs” Written on the front with an illustration of the woman in question giving a big wink.
“Heyya kiddo!” The woman greets Amber with a warm toothy smile. She looks past Amber to size me up as I trail in behind rubbing my ear. The vendor then leans over towards Amber to gossip. “You twos punks on a little ~rendezvous~ or sumpin?”
Gag me with a damn spoon. Again with this?
“Tracy…” I can see Ambers face cringing in embarrassment.
“Hey I get it kids I was young once too. Used to drive my old man crazy sneaking out to-”
“Tracy! Oh my god no!” She bangs her head against the stand.
“What?? whad-I-say?”
“We were hanging out at Spike’s all day”
“The one that dresses up like that bebop fella?”
“Yea…” she says, lifting her head off the stand.
“Poor kid...Him and that family doing alright?”
She stares at the ground with her mouth open for a moment contemplating her words before letting out a small sigh.
“I dunno…Some days everything seems fine, others…” She shrugs.
“They just needs some time is all. As Grandma Bunt used ta say “Time heals all wounds” or was it time is the best counselor?...Tough times never last but tough people do? Whateva, yous let your pal know next time he visits Ol’ Aunt Tracy its on tha house”
“Thanks Tracy will do”
The Dog Slinger switches tune to her best peddler voice.
“So howsabout you and yer new boyfriend-”
Fucks sake…
“TRACY!”
“Ya “guy friend” get yaselfs a dawg?”
We share a look of equal parts embarrassment and gauging if the other actually wants a hot dog.
The savory smell of smoked sausage hits my nostrils like a freight train and my stomach is quick to remind me that the only thing I had to eat today was a handful of barbeque chips. That damn cooking show didn’t help either.
Still got time before the train’s supposed to arrive.
“Hell, I could go for dawg. You want one?” I reach for my wallet…
“Sure but I’M buying” Amber insists digging into her pockets for change.
“They’re like two bucks I can-”
“You pay and I'm kicking your ass skinnie!” She says getting in between me and the vendor, Jabbing a clawed finger in my chest. She squints her eyes as if to dare me to challenge her.
Well look at this bearcat…
“If it means so much to you…” I pocket my wallet.
“You got the snacks, I can At least cover this. Only fair” She turns back to the vendor and slams some wrinkled bills on the counter.
“Aww~ ain’t dat sweet” The frank flinger chimes in. I can see Ambers annoyed look from the corner of my eye. “Anyhoo, got a new special I'm testing out. Could use some feedback from my favorite guinea pig”
Amber stretches out her arms making gimmie hands. “Gib”
“Atta girl! And whatta’bout yous blondie? Feeling adventurous?”
“Can I look before I leap?” I ask.
“Nacho cheese, hot cheetos and Jalapenos”
What kind of one toke over the line bull chicanery…?
“GIB” Amber's pupils dilate and her grabby hands get more aggressive, bouncing back and forth at the stall.
“Pass…I’ll have the slaw dog”
“Suit cha’self kid” She say with a shrug before fixing up Amber's abomination of a frankenstein-furter. Amber chomping at the bit the whole time.
Once the thing was in her hands she wasted no time digging in. I swear I could hear raptor jesus weep…She looked happier than a dog with two tails though so maybe the vendor was onto something. That or Ambers taste buds are fried.
“Not from around here are ya blondie?” The vendor asks putting the final touches on my hot dog.
“What gave it away?”
“The accent for one” Is it really that pronounced? “But we don’t get too many humans round here and Ol’ Tracy has a knack fo’ rememberin’ faces”
“Know-ha jerst merved in” Amber adds in through a mouthful of melted cheese.
“What she said…I think”
I look back at her for a second and she's wiping her face on her sleeve. Our eyes meet and it gives her pause realizing she's been had. I offer her some napkins that she takes with a sheepish thanks.
“Still settling in but Amber’s been sorta showing me around ever since I landed” I catch a fistbump to my arm and she throws a thumbs up to Dog lady.
“Ambahs’ a good kid like that. Now, allow Ol’ Tracy to give ya a proper Volcadera welcome” Before she hands over the dog she adds an extra hearty scoop of chili.
Hell yeah.
Better grab some extra napkins…
I’m sure to give the lady my appreciation with a few spare bucks to her tip jar.
“So whatcha think Amber? This one a winner?”
“Yea. it taste gud!” Amber replies in this goofy voice. “Maybe add some sriracha or hot sauce for some extra spice”
“Ha! Knew it was missin’ sumptin’. I’ll have to refine it later though, closing shop for the night. Yous kids stay outta trouble now. Don’t do nuttin’ ya aunt Tracy wouldn’t, m’kay?”
I wager you could fit that list on a sticky note if truth be told…But you know what they say about assuming. It only makes an ass out of u and me. Anyhow.
She gives us an exaggerated wink and toothy smile. With a wave goodbye she’s off to who knows where.
I return to my companion who’s hunched over the bench in an attempt to keep the contents of her hotdog from spilling over herself with mixed results. I take a similar stance and finally get a nice bite of my own. Mmmh, Thats good stuff…This Tracy character sure makes a mean dawg. Definitely give Ma’s cooking a run for her money.
There's a depressing thought…Dinner with Mom and Dad. Won’t be doing that for a long time. Four years is starting to sound like an eternity.
“Noah? You okay?”
“Hm? Y-yea I’m good. Just thinking about home I guess”
She nods and lets her eyes drift to the side for a moment kicking her legs back and forth.
“So...what kinda dog did you get? Looks weird”
“Thats rich coming from you with that pot head concoction yer eating”
“IT TASTES GUD!” She pouts. Once again in that goofy voice.
“I’ll take your word for it. But ugh…Its a slaw dog. Basically a chili dog with chopped onions and coleslaw”
“Coleslaw? Ew…Is it good?” She asks with sparkling curiosity.
“Why would I get It if- Sigh* Yeah, it's good”
She takes a few glances between our Dawgs. Than stares at me.
“C-can I try it…I’ll give you a bite of mine”
I glanced down at her unholy hotdog. Revulsion written on my face. I look up to meet her gaze and those. DAMN. Puppy Dog eyes. I mean she paid for em right? And fair is fair after all.
-Sigh- Goddammit…
“Aw what the hell, sure”
We trade hotdogs like giving away a first born. For me at least.
Raptor Jesus forgives me for what I’m about to do.
“Over the lips and through the gums, look out stomach here it comes”
“What was that? Haha!”
“Something my dad says with his drinking buddies”
“Heh cheers weirdo” She “clinks” her dog against mine.
“Cheers…” Moment of truth. We both take a bite and- Damn. I can’t believe I’m saying this but, It’s not that bad. It’s not good either but close enough for government work. The type of thing you’d only really enjoy after smoking the electric lettuce and probably the source of inspiration…
“To be honest I thought i'd hate this but-”
“Iz gud white?” She mumbles through a mouthful of food.
“Wha-? Swallow before speaking geez. Anyways, how'd you like the slaw?”
She “Answers” by looking at the hot dog, then at me and taking another sheepish bite.
“Hey! Cmon now”
She looks heartbroken to give it back. We exchange dawgs and I assess the damage on mine.
“It’s really gud…” That goofy voice again.
“Yeah I can tell you only took a huge chunk outta-!”
“Sorry…” She said in an embarrassed whisper. I’m used to her projecting everything with confidence that it threw me off for pause.
I blink a few times catching her remorseful gaze. Her Sunset tinted eyes have a way of cutting through the dark. I can feel my face getting warmer and the conversation I had with Rylee comes to mind. Stupid milk bagging smug ass maple drinking-
-I realize i’ve left my mouth hanging open in an attempt to say…something, but words are failing me. I look forward annoyed and take a large bite of hot dog grumbling.
“you mad?”
“Whert- ner I” I say getting chili spittle on my shirt. “Shit” Facepalming I grab a napkin and swallow my food before continuing. “No it's fine just. I dunno, ask next time?”
She nods and looks away, twiddling at some feathers.
“Sorry…”
“Really, It’s alright”
I feel like something more should be said but cant seem to muster anything.
We finish our meal in relative silence. Painful silence.
Luckily our train doesn’t take long to finally arrive.
Inside it's fairly empty outside a couple graveyard shift straglers spread out pretty far. Much more preferable to our first crowded venture. I Decompressed on one of the seats. Physical and mental exhaustion taking its toll and I let out a big yawn.
“Shuddup yer gonna make me ~Yaaawn~”
I laugh and catch an elbow in my side. Beats the silence.
Amber silently offers an earbud. I take it and we pick up where we left our last jam session. Maybe a little less enthusiastic with the air instruments given the circumstances. She had the volume set to a degree we could still hear the other talk. Recounting events of the day and joking back and forth.
Seemed things were going pretty well until I brought up the painting.
Amber didn’t want to spend more time on the subject than she had to. Keeping the explanation pretty brief.
Spike's mother made a tribute to her late son. Died to some serious illness. Understandably, he and his family are still really shaken up over it. Hard to imagine ever really getting over something like that.
Other than some offered condolences not much comes to mind other than
“Damn…”
Naturally Amber wants to move the conversation on to something else. We try for a bit to talk about the shows we watched earlier but it kinda showed that neither of us were paying much attention during them which did get a laugh albeit somewhat awkward. We opt to sit the rest of the ride listening to music in companionable silence.
—
“I painted faces on the walls
On the walls of my mind
I'm gonna pay for all my sins
I can't make them close their eyes
Start to eat at my insides
That's how I know I'll surely burn” Lyrics to “Evil Doer” by radkey
The others left some time ago now. I’m trying and failing to make myself tired enough to sleep.
Text from Amber…She and her new skinnie pal got home safe. Reply with a thumbs up.
Doom Scrolling isn't helping and I'm caught up on all my shows plus I figure I better cut the tv off and make an attempt to sleep before dad chews me out for keeping him up on a work night.
I pocket my phone and make way for my bedroom. Feels emptier these days. Still not used to it. Still not used to Trent being gone.
In the early days my mind would play tricks on me. Swear I could see em in the corner of my eyes working away at his next masterpiece only to look and see nothing but the dust settling. It's the quiet that really drives it in.
We talked before about what we’d do with his side of the room and his old stuff. What to keep, what to donate. Outgrew any potential hand me downs years ago. Went on about the space it’d clear for me to put more of my stuff. Tried to put a positive spin on it, find the silver lining. We never got around to it.
I try to get comfortable in bed. End up staring at the ceiling counting the grooves in the paint. Tossing and turning nothing feels right. Frustrated, I get up and pace the room a bit in hopes of tiring out.
We used to talk on nights like these. Used to piss mom and dad off cackling late in the night. Going over campaign ideas for L&L or geeking over the newest episode of whatever anime we were binging. Talked and laughed until we passed out.
I take a seat at his old desk and swivel around, a movie of memories flooding the landscape of the room. I blink. Moisture forms at the edges of my eyes and I wipe it away. I blink again. Back in an empty room.
I grab a blanket and end up crashing on the living room couch.
Chapter 7: Hey Dad
Chapter Text
“It's not time to make a change
Just relax and take it easy
You're still young, that's your thought
There's so much you have to know-
-I was once like you are now
And I know that it's not easy
To be calm when you've found
Something going on-
-How can I try to explain
When I do, he turns away again
It's always been the same
The same old story
From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen…” Johnny Cash “Father And Son”
Teenage angst. Something I am all too familiar with. Raptor Jesus knows I had my phases…Had it in spades in Rock Bottom.
I think I’ve come to understand my father in a way, much as it begrudges me to say. Looking back on things now we might have, possibly…potentially had a better relationship if I had just pulled my head out of my ass sooner. I certainly never made things easy for the old man. He never- WE, Never really knew how to talk to each other. He never understood me. How could he? I pushed him away at every opportunity. He made a passing joke about a manga or vidya I was playing once. Hell, I barely remember it was so insignificant in the grand scheme of things but it was enough to never share my interests again. I stonewalled any and every chance for him to ever get to know me. Plus like, there was no chance in hell I was gonna try explaining Saturnia to his boomer ass. So the only me he got to know was the moody shithead who was fucking up in school and had no prospects.
I Wish I could say that it gave me more insight now that I'm at the other end of this dynamic, or some sort of Spears like wisdom.
‘Its important to understand your kids because it helps you to…understand(?) How to parent good. Remember Anon, everyone goes through puberty. So eh...set a good example for them, dumbass. Yea…Totally. Something like that.
Anyways…
Sitting across from me in the car brooding silently is my son, who much like his sister, resembles more of his mother than me in terms of looks.
He did inherit MY eyes though. Fang was always amused at how proud I was of that.
We got a call earlier from one of the event organizers at the airsoft field that Greene got banned for starting a fight with one of the other kids. So Fang sent me to pick him up since she has some busy work at the school to take care of.
After tossing all his equipment and glorified nerf guns in the back he’s just been fuming.
Maybe the radio will help.
“-XM Top 40’s Radio! Where we bring you all your favorites! NO MATTER HOW LOW THE COMMON DENOMINATOR!! Up next we have SWAMP BABIES latest Cover of “The Kids Aren’t Alright”
…Dead air isn’t so bad after all.
Ya know it’s moments like this that have me missing the days when getting him to be quiet was the challenge. The unending questions about every curiosity of the world, telling me every little thing he did that day. Any little thing he could think of to keep my attention…
Now I can barely get full sentences out of him…if I’m not just met with a series of grunts as a form of response.
“Greene…” I try to get his attention.
*Grunt* ?
*Sigh* Naturally…
“Wanna tell me what happened?”
Another long winded groan.
“Greene.” I had to put on a bit of the ol’ dad voice for that one.
“Mom didn’t tell you already?” He barely looks my way. His attention on fidgeting with the window controls.
“I wanna hear it from you”
He opens his mouth for a second. It clicks shut as he takes a moment to mull something over in his head, eyebrows furrowing. Having found the courage to say what he wanted he opens again.
“Why is it I only see you when I’m in trouble?”
“Why are you always getting in trouble?” It came out wrong. Defensive. Truth is I don’t think I have a satisfying answer for either of us.
Before I could follow up he beat me to it.
“I don’t get into trouble that much…” Greene mumbled out the words. I had to stop myself from laughing at such a bold claim.
“Just last month I got a call from Jack’s mom about a live bees nest you got to chase him…”
I swear I caught a smirk outta him…
“That was TWO months ago…And I only did it ‘cause he was messing with Amber!”
“Eh- How did you even pull that off?!”
“I convinced some of the weed fags to lend me their vapes so I could smoke out the nest then I just sorta full sent the sucker at the back of his dumbass head”
I have to take a moment to mentally process all that. Rubbing my eyes and temples. “I don’t get you kid…” I muttered to myself. On the one hand, I'm proud of him for sticking up for his sister. On the other hand, it's best we curb that future juvie behavior. *Sigh* Raptor Jesus give me strength…
“One: Watch your language. Two: you fucking terrify me sometimes”
“Wha- How come you can say it?!”
“Cause I’m the adult here”
He gives me a scrutinizing look. I return a cheeky smile of parental authority. He’s not as amused.
“It’s good you’re looking after your sister though. Just…no more eco terrorism”
“Fine, I'll just use a regular ol’ pipe bomb next time…” He says sarcastically.
We chuckle for a moment.
“Haha. Ahh…You ARE joking right?”
“Wha- You ACTUALLY think I’d use a pipebomb?!”
“I DON’T KNOW WITH YOU!”
The look he gives me is not reassuring.
“...I mean like, they aren’t hard to make. We could go to the hardware store and-”
“GREENE”
“...What?”
If I had any hair on my head they’d have all turned grey by now I swear…
“We are NOT making pipebom-” I Inhale sharply, pinching the bridge of my nose, refocusing on the task at hand. “What happened at your game today?”
The grunts return.
I’m gonna lose my damn mind.
“Child…Use. Your words”
“*Sigh* We were doing typical airsoft stuff right? Capture the flag, king of the hill all that jazz. So there was this Jacka-” I gave him the patented ‘Dad Stare’ ™. “-JERK, who kept cheating right?”
“Alright…” I motion for him to continue.
“Ya know, not calling when you're hit once or twice is understandable, sh-STuff happens…”
“Nice catch”
“But this was going on all day. Constantly not calling hits, giving his teammates intel after he was out and just generally being a douche. Also he felt the need to keep telling people he was ‘Nut Buster Jr’ or something gay like that as if anyone should give a shit?” He cringes a bit as he catches his slip up at the end looking my way for my reaction. I’m more concerned with the ‘Nut Buster’ thing to worry about his swearing.
“...is that like, his nickname or-?”
“Huh?”
“The kid?”
“Oh, ugh, I guess? Maybe? I dunno, he’s a fag. Anyways…” He waves a hand dismissively and continues. I’m reminded once again these kids have unfortunately picked up their vocabulary from me. Really gotta stop playing souls-likes with them in earshot…
He begins pantomiming firing a rifle.
“Last round I tag the fatass clear as day. He tries playing it off like it didn’t happen. I call him out, he gives me the bird. I go to confront the guy, there's some shouting back and forth. I call him a cheating prick, He shoves me saying ‘Fuck off Beak Monkey you never hit me’ So…I hit him”
*Snnrt* “NO!…aheh...bad ptero, wrong!”
He gives me an all too proud of himself smile.
“Don’t give me that look” I chuckle out.
“What?!” He says with feigned ignorance.
“*Sigh* So what happened after that?”
“Jannies broke it up” Ugh…that’s a phrase I haven’t heard in a while.
“Alright, alright in all seriousness though you know you shouldn’t have hit the kid”
“Yea, I know…He was being an asshole though”
“Granted, also language… but, you know your mom will have both our asses if I don't scold you at least a little for this”
Fang teases that I'm soft on the kids but I don't think either of us are particularly tough on discipline. I tend to think it comes from both of us having some hard asses for parents. That and both of us are in a silent competition over who the ‘cool’ parent is.
“Valid…” He relents. “So…?”
“So, A little bit of house arrest helping your mom with chores should do you some good. Maybe I can convince her to let you have your nerf guns-”
“-AIRSOFT. They’re airsoft guns…” He interrupts.
The stare I give him causes him to shrink a bit.
“Ahem…Maybe I can convince her to let you have your toys back by next week if you’re especially helpful”
He gets ready to protest but settles for a demoralised nod.
We continue the drive in silence. Greene’s no longer fuming. Instead looking half out of it as he leans his head against the window watching the landscape pass by.
I try giving the radio a second go, catching the tail end of an advert about back to school shopping. Right, Amber and Greene will be starting their first year of highschool soon…God, where’d the time go? Trying to wrap my head around the fact this is the same kid I used to catch trying to eat ants in the backyard with his sister.
“Excited for school to be starting back up?”
“Pfft! No” He sounds almost offended at the suggestion.
Fair enough. It’s not like I ever had much love for school. Outside the time I spent with Fang, I usually dreaded it. Shuddering at the thought of all my various phases and respective mocking I got for them.
“At least you’ll get to see all your buddies again, right?” Trying to find the silver lining and all that.
He glances my way a moment and settles for a shrug and grunt combo, then returns his gaze back out the window. Now I might be a little rusty but I think that roughly translates to “What friends?” in adolescence. I give him a quick squeeze on the shoulder and a few quick pats before letting that thread of conversation hang there.
I scramble to come up with something to keep momentum going, best I come up with is-
“You hungry?”
“I could eat…whatcha got in mind?”
Well at least he’s giving me actual responses.
“What about that burger joint you and your sister like so much?”
“Fossil Guys? Ah Man, I haven't been there in ages!”
Pretty sure we went earlier this year but I guess at his age that's ‘forever’.
“Ahh they got the BEST burgers! And they always load the bag with extra fries”
“I’ll take that as a yes then”
He turns to me with serious conviction on his face.
“Dad, If I EVER turn down fossil guys shoot me straight in the face cause thats not me, it's a skinwalker or something”
“Have you been going on those cryptid threads again?”
“I stopped checking those when every other post just became freaks ‘Hear me out’ post”
“What do you mean?”
“They wanna bang the cryptids dad…”
“What?!”
“I dunno dad…”
“...How-?”
“I DON’T. KNOW DAD”
…
Clap* “So Fossil Guys yea?”
One detour later and we were stuffing our faces with overpriced cheeseburgers while Greene pulled up some video on his phone of a guy getting botulism from eating chinese MREs. Not the kind of tableside entertainment I’d pick while eating but hey he’s actually talking to me so screw it I’ll entertain it.
Made sure to get a side of chicken nuggets for Fang. Told Greene he could be the one to give it to her as a peace offering to smooth over the tongue lashing that was probably waiting for him when he got home. That and to make sure I don't get chewed out for forgetting her.
As Greene continued to provide his commentary track (mumbling through a mouthful of food half the time) A comforting feeling of nostalgia came over me. His interests have certainly changed with time and he may be providing the answers instead of asking but there was still that kid explaining every little thing and having my full attention. I didn’t get it, I didn't need to. He cared about it and that was good enough for me.
To my surprise and relief the rest of the day went by pretty smoothly. Fang was satisfied with how everything was handled and more than pleased with the nuggets since she was too busy to fix herself anything today so it all worked out in the end. The kids were off catching each other up with their respective adventures away from the other and teasing Greene for getting in trouble.
Having taken care of my responsibilities for the day I retired to the backyard to decompress and think some things over. Been a real introspective day…Probably burned a good chunk of my phone battery just staring at the keypad trying to build up the courage to make a decision.
Sigh* Fuck it.
I thumb in the old familiar numbers and hit call.
Every ring the end call button becomes more tempting.
…
…
“Hey Dad, It’s Anon…”
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MrOblivion_070799 on Chapter 1 Fri 24 May 2024 02:13AM UTC
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Snootreader (Guest) on Chapter 5 Mon 02 Sep 2024 12:29AM UTC
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ImTheMegalomaniac on Chapter 6 Thu 07 Nov 2024 08:22AM UTC
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Snootreader on Chapter 6 Thu 07 Nov 2024 08:43AM UTC
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Ccheckerboard on Chapter 6 Fri 08 Nov 2024 05:47AM UTC
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father0ates on Chapter 6 Tue 11 Mar 2025 01:20AM UTC
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FullSalvo on Chapter 7 Fri 02 May 2025 11:14PM UTC
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