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Is the sun aware of it's inevitable destruction? Shining so brightly until it self-implodes. If it could, would it ask for help? To prevent the unpreventable? Would it accept the help of others? To not slowly burn out, to stop himself from losing himself forever. Would he share the burden of providing life to those surrounding him. He probably wouldn't. He shines so brightly for a reason, until he is all burned out.
Just like Yuuji Itadori. He who smiles so kindly, and continues to do so even when his nails are black and the markings won't leave his skin (no matter how hard he had tried to scrub them off) after he had eaten the third finger. His friends don't notice the them, luckily they can't, is that Sukuna's doing? Is it a sick mind game?. It is a blessing and a curse. DO they sometimes wonder who is in control? So he makes sure of to smile, to laugh, even when he feels like the guilt and responsibility is crushing him. Still in battle he sees the weary looks his friends give him.. Are they that similar? Yuuji is not as cruel as Sukuna right? He does not fight to punish those weaker than him, he knows when enough is enough. He has empathy. So what he dreams of memories that aren't his (or are they?). Where he sheds blood like it's nothing.
His black nails are drowning in a river of crimson.. The iron in the air tastes sweet on his tongue. He laughs and laughs at the destruction he (Sukuna) has caused. The people that are still alive look at him, worshipping him. Fearing him. Like a god. Who cares their worship is rooted in fear. Their bodies are trembling, they are facing a deity. Puny humans only have one purpose and it's to burn Sukuna (Itadori) thinks. What else could their purpose be if not to worship this self-made god that walks amongst them. They should bow and know their place. They are divine.
Every time Itadori wakes from another nightmare, a memory, he does not tell his friends. Don't they all have their own bones to bury? He knows they have, he can see it in the dark circles underneath their eyes. In the forced smiles and enthusiasm. He can taste their sadness in the air. It's sour, but not in a bad way. That little should worry him, but it doesn't, he has tasted real despair before, this. This is nothing. So he keeps quiet, and keeps on smiling like there is no tomorrow. Someone has to do it. He ignores the sceptical glances he receives.
It should frighten him, his new ability. One of many, but he does not want to acknowledge it. To taste emotions. It should frighten him but how could it, when some of them taste so delicious. No matter how hard he tries to deny it, fear tastes the sweetest. Sukuna agrees. He does not pay attention to the fact that happiness is almost insipid. He doesn't want to acknowledge this. Would emotions taste the same for Megumi or Nobara? He wants to ask them, how they think happiness taste, if they think despair tastes sweet. He is afraid they will ask it back and he is uncertain he will be able to lie. No need to worry his friends, they have enough on their plate already.
Itadori knows Sukuna knows of his growing addiction to the taste, but he chooses to ignore this, like many other things in their relationship (?). It's their secret, one he is willing to take to his grave. He should tell them, or at least Nanami or Gojo or someone, but he won't. Sukuna uses this information. How could he not when he is so close to victory. Just some more little pushes. Yuuji will not give into the sweet promises Sukuna makes when he is fighting. The promises of fresh flesh and blood, of warm liquid filled with fright. It should disgusted him, and it does, to a certain degree.... and maybe that disgusts him more. He is disgusting and curious. Always has been. One day he will succumb to those promises Sukuna makes him,, that Sukuna promises him. Itadori agrees.
They seem to agree on more subjects every time he eats a new finger. That curse is not worthy of touching Megumi. Nobara is growing stronger at an incredible (alarming) rate. Gojo sensei is still annoying. When has his admiration for his quirkiness turned into annoyance? Probably around finger nine. Gojo might turn into a problem, they agree on this, but for different reasons. Itadori suspects that Gojo knows. He has to, he is the strongest, so why won't he help. Can't he see that he's burning up. Blood smells delicious still, and it feels good on this hands. It feels really good.
Of course there are still things they don't see eye to eye on. Curses should be destroyed, not annihilated. No matter how good they smell when frightened. They are not the same. Humans are worth saving, even the bad ones. Right? Megumi says they are worth saving, so that must be true. He can ignore Sukuna when he focuses. Just looking at Megumi grounds him. Megumi who is like his own angel. They need him, for different reasons. In a way Megumi and Sukuna act like a devil and angel on his shoulders, so far Megumi always has won. This is not fair to Megumi Yuuji thinks, regardless that Megumi is unaware of the role he has been given. It is not fair, yet it continues.
At some point Yuuji has stopped sleeping. He does not need it anymore, instead he visits Sukuna mind palace where the curse tells him stories, memories. He knows he is awake, but he cannot bring himself to open his eyes.
How many fingers are left until he does not need human food anymore. Sukuna just laughs. The markings on his body burn. His sides itch, his arms are wrong, wrong wrong.
Sukuna is not the only one who laughs more. Itadori has gradually taken up the habit as well after the tenth finger. It is not a kind laugh, not the laugh he reserves (forces) for his friends. It started out small. Itadori would find his lips slightly tugging upwards when he saw a curse wailing in pain, or when a bastard of a human being had gotten a beating. His smile grew from not showing any teeth, to flashing his sharp canines while looking down at a curse. It's funny that they ever thought they had a chance.
He knew he never used to laugh during his fights, but when a curse is so easily defeated, it's almost funny. It is pathetic really. Megumi and Nobara would disagree. He made sure they wouldn't see this side of him. They did not need to know how he had grown to enjoy the sound of broken bones. They did not need to know that Sukuna whispered ideas to him to make the curses suffer more. They did absolutely not need to know that sometimes, just sometimes, he listened. When he would use a curse technique he could never have known, that was his and Sukuna's business and no one else’s. That mere excuse for a curse should not even look at Megumi, it must be punished Sukuna argues, Itadori agrees.
"No Gojo-sensei, I have no idea how I was able to do that!" He knew he should tell him. If anyone could help him, it would be the strongest sorcerer. He doesn't tell him. The lie falls easily off the tongue. Who knows what will happen when Gojo finds out. He has come this far, he is not stopping now. Yuuji is unsure if those are his thoughts or Sukuna's. Does it really matter, anymore?
So it was inevitable when Itadori laughed out loud during a solo fight. The sound didn't sound as foreign to his ears as he would have expected. It made sense. To Nobara and Megumi it did not.
They are worries about him. It is clear to see. In school he might not always have been the brightest, but even he can not ignore those worried glances and full on stares. It makes him want to scratch their eyeballs out, but not Megumi's. Never Megumi's.
Somehow it took him twelve fingers before he tasted blood. If he had known how good it tastes, he would have drank it before. Now that he has had a taste, he knows he will crave it more. The need to eat human food has vanished, instead he was met with an incredible hunger for something unknown, up until now. The thought of eating a curse, or even human flesh, brought saliva to their mouth. Silvia starts pooling in their mouth when they think about it. They know how it tastes. Many many many years ago they've tasted it. They had dined from the curses they defeated, but only those who were worthy. In Yuuji's defence, it was not even entirely his fault. Megumi had been hurt during a fight, he had run off on his own and when Yuuji found him, still fighting, he was bleeding. Just before Megumi passed out, his bloodied hand touched Yuuji's lip. The taste was magnificent. His Megumi tasted so good. How dare such a low-life curse touch what was theirs. It only took one second before the curse was vanished. His flesh gone, annihilated. The curse was not worthy of being eaten. That would be a compliment to that curse, and the king of curses does not compliment very often.
Whatever possessed Gojo to send Yuuji on a solo mission gained a favour from the king of the curses himself. Yuuji knows that this is a test, just as he knows he will fail it. For so long he has been at war with himself, has he been fighting those temptations. Just like Icarus he would fall. His fate had long before him been decided.
Blood he could excuse, he could drink that, taste it in secret when nobody was focusing on him. Not that that happened often these days. His nails itched. They were pointier than before. When did that happen? It doesn't matter.
What matters is the bloodbath in front of him. He knows he could have easily killed this curse, but where is the fun in that. He was known to toy with his food.
It tastes even better than they remember. When Gojo arrives on the scene, they are covered in blood and flesh. Playing innocent won't save them this time, they can see it in his eyes. So they smile with their blood covered teeth, a piece of meat still in their mouth. Gojo looks apologetic and spews some weak excuses about he should have acted before. He didn't however.What you sow is what you reap, they at one point retorted. They thought it was hilarious when they saw the broken look on their mentors face.
They locked them up. They could see the unease on the faces of their old companions when they just laugh at their cell. Do they really think that this will stop them. They will play along for a bit, until they consume all their fingers.
His sides itch like crazy, no matter how much he scratcheshis body. He is still incomplete, but not for much longer. Sukuna, is it still Sukuna when it sounds so much like him? Or when did he started to sound like him? Does it really matter anymore Yuuji thought. Soon they will be one, just like they were meant to be.
When they promise themselves a future full of blood, of carnage. They can not help but smile. Soon enough they will sit on their throne again, their rightful place. People and curses will worship them again, they will be feared. Humans and curses are nothing to them, except one. Maybe in the beginning he will not appreciate the role that has been giving to him. At least not in the beginning, but one day he is going to come to them, willingly. Before that they have a cell to break out off and a sorcerer to kill.
Soon they will be complete and the world will be reformed into their image.
Yuuji Itadori, soon to be King of the curses laughs, as his nails scratch out blue eyes from the skull.
They have never shined this brightly before.