Like a leaf against the wind

by SpacedGator

Summary:

After months away leading a foreign negotiation campaign, Lloyd returns unexpectedly, eager to surprise Alicia.

However, her reaction to his sudden return reveals a hidden truth and the couple finds themselves exploring new facets of their relationship.

Notes:

I want to explore a bit of their negative traits and thought that 'palace drama' is a good way to justify it.

They are still lovable idiots

Follows the same time-line as 'Love you like the gentle wind' and 'Reasure me solftly'

Chapter 1: Your neck in place

‘Tak tak tak’

 

Elegant steps carried with dignity and confidence. A beautiful silhouette passing by the halls filled with expensive paintings and recently acquired ornaments, with none of the golden trinkets and brilliant gemstones engraved on the walls catching her eye. 

 

They looked like empty trophies. Because they were.

 

“He's gone silent again”

 

She mumbled quietly, to the splendid corridors of their new palace. The vibrations of her voice only being heard by herself.

 

I know building foreign relations through indispensable business deals it's important, I know it.

 

“Now I can't see him unless it's an official meeting…”

 

What is he doing right now? Why has he not written to me yet? Is he going to be fine?

 

“Running around like a mole… If I only look at it from afar its a little funny ”

 

“Why am I a mole?”

 

!!!!

 

‘swish!”

 

Alicia's heart jumped from her chest, suddenly noticing the presence of two people behind her back, before she knew it, before she could think, her hand was gripping her sword, blade drawn on the intruder who had spoken.

 

“Sorry, I didn't think to announce myself first”

 

He said warmly. His face was pale, bags under his eyes decorating the lack of sleep and hands more callous than the last time she saw them, his wrinkled clothes were dusty. He scratched his cheek while trying to hide his less-than-stellar appearance.

 

“I didn't want to bother with the formalities of our arrival”

 

Lloyd looked to the side, trying to get his swordmaster attention. Alicia's sword was mind-absently close to the neck of her husband, a small cut trickled blood onto his clothes. She was still too shocked to process what she did or who was in front of her. 

 

For now she thought she wasn't in immediate danger. 

 

“Javier. Its fine”

 

“...”

 

Javier's disheveled appearance was something Alicia thought she never would see; his hair was dirty, his eyes blood-shot and his clothes hastened as if he didn't have the time to settle down.

 

“Javier”

 

But then she was.

 

A heavy suffocating tension she hadn't sensed in a while was emanating from the knight, whose sharp aura was dangerously approaching the queen from all angles, the bright mana stung deeply into her skin.

 

“Javier.”

 

Lloyd raised his voice, while gently touching the blade of her sword, carefully guiding it towards the ground. Alicia blinked, at first resisting putting the sword down, then, when she felt the touch of his hand through her sword, she started regulating her breathing.

 

“You clearly saw what happened. Stop it” 

 

His eyes turned serious, diluted anger spilled through his tone. His chin pointed at the queen. A silent order.

 

“I apologize your majesty”

 

Javier spoke in an exhausted voice. 

 

“We both made a mistake”

 

She said quickly, coming out of her trance, dismissing the issue. 

 

A collective sigh of relief.

 

“Thank you, your majesty. If you'll allow it, I will take my leave now. Master Lloyd”

 

Lloyd nodded, giving him a knowing look once more.

 

“Yeah…just. Go rest”

 

Alicia made a hand gesture to the seemingly empty halls and carefully put her sword away, with a shaky voice she tried to alleviate the tension.

 

“I -I don't see your summons with you”

 

“They wanted to greet you too”

 

Lloyd answered mind-absently. 

 

“Too tired?”

 

“When we arrived Draggy came and took them to their room”

 

“Draggy must have been sulking the whole time”

 

“If I took him with me…” Lloyd looked to the side, reminiscing with a frown” No. Nevermind” 

 

As the sounds of Javier's distant steps died down, they were left alone for the first time in a while. Not for the lack of servants or knights; who were maintaining their distance and being ready to be called if they were needed, as they had soon learned, (from the first time the queen and king went out on a date). The couple liked to be alone, they would serve themselves and sometimes their attendants weren't called for hours.

 

As far as the maids were concerned it was due to the king's influence, since the queen followed the palace's tradition without paying them any mind. Still, it wasn't like their job wasn't needed, just less than before. Some felt hurt about the sudden change, but after a meeting with the king their worries were resolved. He made them feel appreciated and gave them other tasks to keep them occupied.

 

The knights, on the other hand, felt intimidated by the king's guard, many of them were hesitant to train with the young man, as they had seen him regularly sparring with the queen before, whom they couldn't keep up with. But, not all of them were dissuaded, there were those among them who saw it as an opportunity to learn from the best and felt pride in belonging to the same army as someone like him.

 

The king was charismatic and kind, his power looked like a commodity that ‘just’ happened to him, at a first glance he wouldn't give them any information on what he was thinking. But, he made them feel at ease.

 

While most of them knew, the queen was silently dealing with anyone who didn't approve of the king, be it a small misunderstanding or outright disagreement.

 

It was a strange combination. Kindness and ruthlessness.

 

 

The knights and maids who witnessed the scene from afar quickly dismissed themselves following the queen's gesture, knowing they couldn't disclose what happened, but still contemplated whether or not they should announce the king's return.

 

Alicia and Lloyd both noted the presence of the servants getting farther and farther away. Their composed demeanors diligently followed after them, being left in solitude with their sweaty hands and expression’s painted with dread, naivety and awkwardness.

 

He had been looking at the ground, not knowing where to start. 

 

She, -who had gotten used to Lloyd's reclusive reactions- pinched his nose, squishing his cheeks back-and-forth and up-and-down until he let out a small chuckle. He shook his head and approached her. His eyes, soft and tired, were begging to be relieved of their duties.

 

Alicia took his hand while walking towards their room. The long corridors seemed brighter with Lloyd by her side, the glowing decorations now looked beautiful, so beautiful she wanted to show it all to him. Even though he was silent he kept looking her way warmly, nodding along at her explanations as if she were a tour guide, wondering when she bought all of this.

 

The anxiousness she had been feeling for the past few months, was a distant memory dissipated by his hold.

 

 

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Alicia was pulled his way, a sigh was felt on her shoulder, then his head resting on it. His chest was going up and down with long anxiety driven breaths.

 

Alicia had never seen her husband look so agitated, remembering what they've been through he was always quick to regain his cool.

 

He trusts me enough to look like this in front of me… What can I do to comfort him?

 

She brought him closer and patted his back for a while until his breathing stabilized. Alicia felt Lloyd's hesitation slowly dissipate.

 

‘drop drop drop’

 

Measured tears on her fine coat. 

 

The rough skin of his hands on her cheeks was carefully directing her face toward his.

 

A slow and complicated kiss. Through their lips they could feel each other's burdens, take part of those faded colors and taint them with their own, alleviate their worries and give each other strength.

 

His tears tasted like an untold story she didn't want to rush just yet, his hands moved into her body as if trying to find something, his palms were searching; her hands, her arms, her neck, her chest, her legs. Inspecting, searching.The space between their clothes became so thin the fabric wouldn't make any sound. Just their embrace.

 

More than what she could express with words, she hoped to convey through her warmth; hoping she would be enough to calm his heart, hoping to imprint herself into his memory so deeply he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about her, hoping she would monopolize him completely, hoping he could forget whatever happened out there and be with her in mind, body and soul. 

 

He was the one crying but she was the one feeling small and restless.

 

Their feet, unaware of their inner turmoil, being impulsed by familiarity guided their kisses towards the bed.

 

Finding the skin under her clothes to be what he was looking for, clothes came undone by themselves, fingertips walking through skin, their kisses became desperate as his hands fidgeted on the border of his decision.

 

Alicia materialized their desires first, uniting their bodies into the hours, Lloyd kept searching deeply into her every inch, the more of her he took the more he wanted.

 

Until the horrible worry disappeared, until their racing hearts settled down, until the raging thoughts were drowned by their gasps, until the hand gripping their hearts loosened its bloody grip. Their bodies, accustomed to each other's hold, moved according to their inner wishes, with no regard for breaks nor air. 

 

Trembling.

 

 

 

Then, after reason came to their senses, he spoke softly.

 

“We were on edge, back in the corridor”

 

“You’re still bothered by that?”

 

“You were in danger… I couldn't stand it”

 

“I could’ve put up a fight you know, if it came to that”

 

“I am not disregarding you… I just remembered something, the mental image it's too vivid”

 

He crouched a little to rest his head on her chest, she hugged him tightly.

 

This wasn't about that, was it?

 

“Did the negotiations go poorly?”

 

“They went fine, it's just… there was opposition at the end”

 

Alicia’s worries came back in a hurry as she sat up putting her hands on his shoulders.

 

“Somebody attacked you”

 

The grip on his shoulders tightened, Lloyd caressed her fingers attempting to calm her down.

 

“There was a rebellion opposing the ruling monarch”

 

The reason his knight was agitated…

 

“So Javier had to get you out of there”

 

“They disguised themselves as construction workers… We were working steadily and suddenly… they stood no chance against him”

 

Lloyd looked hurt, his eyes dropping lower the more he talked about it.

 

“I couldn't predict the situation, my intuition never failed me like this… I just wanted to come back quickly after that, no rests in between”

 

His glassy vision was blinking slowly.

 

“The whole time… I was relieved it was me who came on the expedition and not you”

 

Alicia bit her tongue, putting her personal feelings out of the way for a moment. From the ruler's point of view, this was terrible news.

 

“Are they still in a position to be beneficial to us?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then we won't raise an issue for now”

 

For now huh? 

 

“You know I would the first one to jump at an opportunity to get more benefits out of this, but, let it rest, they suffered a lot of damage, if we push it, the deal may fall through”

 

All of that would be for nothing.

 

“I'll warn them first, I'll give them enough time to recover” 

 

Look how mellow he looks. They'll pay tenfold for this.

 

“Dear…”

 

“Lloyd”

 

“Hmm”

 

“You are a king. Letting this slide will make us look weak, wasn't the whole reason you went on these campaigns to solidify our power?”

 

“I was being short sighted”

 

“That's not like you”

 

“I've been felling restless... the more time flows… the less I know, it's like being thrown on a strange world once again”

 

“I… can't understand how that feels, even though you've explained it before. The world you came from and the knowledge you had about this one”

 

“Alicia…”

 

“But I can tell you this, you're not alone, nor are you carrying everything on your shoulders. What was it you said about delegating?”

 

“That it's the privilege of the ones in charge. You remembered?”

 

“I remember your every word”

 

“What. Why?”

 

“Because I love you”

 

Their foreheads together, a tender kiss accompanied by their care.

 

“Wanna take a shower?”

 

Alicia propose.

 

“Only if it's together”

 

“Huhu, will you let me wash your hair?”

 

A memory of the last time she did that flashed through Lloyd's mind, his ears turned red as he remembered Alicia making him cry, gasping for air under her hands, he remembered begging her through his blurry vision only to be met with her mischievous lips smirking in delight.

 

“If you do that again… You know I'm too sensitive, if you leave my neck alone-”

 

The mere mention of the word put a scowl in their faces.

 

“I could've hurt you”

 

“You didn't. I should've been more considerate”

 

“It wasn't your fault. I got scared… There may be lingering effects of the curse. I wasn't thinking ”

 

“Yeah… I thought so, but why the curse? It was gone, right?”

 

“It is. Just the sensations are sometimes difficult to manage”

 

“I didn't mean to startle you”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Javier was pretty angry”

 

“That gives him no right to threaten you like that”

 

“Don't get angry. I put my sword on your neck. Any respectable knight would protect his master even from me”

 

“What if you got hurt?”

 

Me? what about you? 

 

“That didn't happen”

 

“I don't want to imagine that”

 

Your mind is wandering huh?

 

“You won't have to, the palace is safe, you built it after all”

 

“That got me thinking.. the passage we used to enter. What if someone else discovered it?”

 

“Even if it was discovered, they couldn't use it, you have the only key”

 

She touched his chest.

 

“Beating coldy”

 

“I know, I know, magical passage. It worries me nonetheless”

 

“...”

 

“Lloyd. About the people Javier defeated while protecting you...”

 

“...I’m”

 

“No need to feel guilty about what happened. It wasn't your fault”

 

“I'm not sure about that”

 

“This wasn't something that ‘just’ happened, they saw the opportunity when you arrived, probably wanting to scale the situation through us, if something had happened to you…”

 

“To take complete control of their country, make us go to war against their monarch and they would deal with the aftermath?”

 

“That's what it sounds like”

 

“I didn't want to accept it”

 

“You are allowed to resent them”

 

‘sigh’

 

“I'm sorry”

 

Her hand was caressing the slight cut the sword left on his neck, Lloyd chuckled.

 

“I wanted to surprise you, but I scared you instead”

 

“I overreacted”

 

“I can always try to surprise you again”

 

“But, don't leave. Even if you have other plans, I don't want you to leave… for a while, please”

 

“I missed you too. I'll bother you for a while, follow you around like a, what did you call me, a mole?”

 

“Forget I said that”

 

“Well… If it means being captured by you like this, I'll gladly be a mole”

 

“Sweet words will get you nowhere”

 

“I already got somewhere”

 

“You sly man”

 

"Hehe~"

 

Lloyd looked at her smiling one last time before falling asleep.

 

“I missed you”

 

Alicia hugged his chest following him.

 

“So much”

 

 

Chapter 2: When your mouth is open

Summary:

Tensions are high in the palace after a noble house was ‘dealt with’ by the queen during Lloyd’s absence. However, he wasn't supposed to know that.

Notes:

Lloyd's mood is all over the place while Alicia is only reacting, unlike usual.

They were not used to keeping information from each other, nor were they at ease while looking into each other's eyes knowing a stinging something was keeping them from getting even closer.

 

Images perfectly curated for the rose-titled glasses; intrusive thoughts slowly swarming out of control.

 

The part of me that I don’t want you to know.

 

The fears I hid, keep me from pushing for answers.

 

Would I still be worthy of your love?

 

Your reaction is more terrifying than any nightmares. 

 

Even though they used to talk things out, now that one of them decided to pull their walls up, it was getting increasingly difficult to bring it up.

 

But they wouldn't stand still. On their own, they were slowly building the blocks to repair their bond.

 

‘tok tok’

 

“...”

 

‘tok tok’

 

First the hesitant nocks, then the sound of a door opening, just enough for the words to pass through. 

 

“Master Lloyd, may I come in?”

 

“Oh, hi Javier, yeah”

 

“I've once again, come to apologize for the incident with her majesty”

 

“Why are you being so formal?”

 

“...” 

 

Javier shot him a suspicious look.

 

“I’m no longer mad”

 

“You're frowning”

 

“Not because of you… Hah, Sit down for now. I need a favor”

 

Over the days he spent recuperating, Lloyd couldn't help but notice the tense atmosphere in the palace, through murmurs and whispers he made an image of what happened in his absence. 

 

But, he needed to confirm.

 

Javier sat down on the couch opossing Lloyd.

 

“I might have already done what you're going to ask”

 

“You asked around? Oh, while training, the knights must have told you”

 

“I thought of doing this as a peace offering”

 

“Alicia said it was okay, she wasn't bothered by that”

 

“But you are”

 

“Of course I am” He shook his head “It’s not fair to you I know. But, I'm still upset”

 

“If it was the other way around, and you threatened the one I love, I would be mad too”

 

Is he referring to Lady Silluria?

 

“I see” 

 

They knew, people who worked together for so long, could understand each other without fear of being misunderstood.

 

“So, what happened?”

 

“One of the noble families was destroyed by the queen”

 

“Umm, what else?” 

 

“The maids are especially restless”

 

The maids huh? If one of them made a mistake and the whole family got punished because of it, the rest would become especially careful.

 

“It was because of me, my suggestions took some of the power away from those families” 

 

“By reducing their involvement with them…”

 

“The flow of information in and out of the palace gets cut out from the nobles’s spies”

 

“In a way, these positions meant stability”

 

Lloyd thought for a moment then smiled.

 

“She took care of it” 

 

“Then why…”

 

“I’m not going to question her decision on this, the issue lies elsewhere.”

 

“If you say so”

 

“...”

 

“So, will you talk to her about it?” 

 

“Hmm, I want her to mention it first

 

“It's been days”

 

“Then I’ll just ask her myself”

 

The sudden silence after his resolution allowed Lloyd's mind to wonder about  their expedition.

 

“Javier… I probably won't know the extent of what happened as well as you do but…”

 

“I didn't kill all of them”

 

Lloyd flinched, getting the answer to the question he was too scared to ask. Javier continued 

 

“I gave it some thought while fighting. Logically, attempting to cause harm to the king of the Magentano kingdom would be punishable by death, I wouldn't be opposed to it”

 

“But?”

 

“You didn't seem to want that, so I just maimed them. Although some were bent on bringing you harm, it couldn't be avoided”

 

A sigh of relief mixed with gratitude.

 

“They were just tools, cannon fodder for the ones pulling their schemes”

 

“Hhmm, you would say that”

 

“Anyway, thank you”

 

“I should at least do that much”

 

With a lighter heart, Lloyd resolved himself.

 

***

 

Lloyd was walking around the palace early in the morning. Deep inside his worries, he couldn't find solace.

 

I trust how she handled everything, but, why not tell me? It's not a big deal, these situations happen all the time, it was the same when the academy’s corruption was discovered, so why?

 

Did I say something before leaving? Would she think I think less of her? Hmm It's better to ask her directly… Still, why? Could it be that she doesn't trust me?

 

With a confused mind, he let himself into her private annex. He was informed she would be studying, in the deepest parts of her library. 

 

Lloyd scanned the book’s titles as he approached her location. Most of them were; history, economic studies, and social management. A smile of admiration appeared on his face.

 

This diligent side of her, how much effort she puts in, I wonder If I'm the only one who knows… 

 

His footsteps were a mix of nervousness and excitement. 

 

Hah, I want to see that expression again. I want to see her cute surprised face, the same one she had when I confessed… so lovely.

 

Midway through the hallway, he stopped.

 

How do I do it, so that what happened in the corridor won't happen again? I don't want to make her remember that incident.

 

Reviewing his options, he started to circulate his mana. His energy unraveled around his frame, his soul was covering the floor in its entirety. 

 

She must have sensed me already.

 

Lloyd smiled as passed another section. 

 

And he saw her. 

 

At the end of the bookshelf; her beautiful back breathed calmly, decorated with a light shirt and pegged pants exalting her figure; the red locks of her hair tied up in a bun.  Her silhouette brimming as if she was the only source of light in the room, overshadowing the burning sun.

 

She turned a page of her book, her fingers moving slightly at the sound of his approaching footsteps.

 

Coming closer, he put one hand on her waist, the other, making its way towards the back of her neck, clearing the space between her hair and her skin, finding spots to plant kisses on. Hypnotized by her smell he lost himself for a second, his hold tightening around the thin fabric of her shirt.

 

His body closed the distance completely through a hug, head resting in the space between her head and her shoulder.

 

“Hmm Lloyd what-” She turned around asking for a little space.

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

Amused, she raised an eyebrow. 

 

He may sound confident but that face doesn't lie, Makes me want to tease him.

 

“You're asking after you did that?”

 

“I got cocky”

 

“You mean, you got carried away”

 

“You look too dazzling, made me dizzy”

 

“Sounds like excuses to me”

 

Lloyd took one of her hands and put it on his cheek, making her caress him. His eyes were palpitating with desire.

 

“I want to kiss you”

 

So you can also make that expression.

 

“What a coincidence, me too-”

 

Lips sealed thanks to his own, comfortably imposing his impulses. Her back against the bookshelf, her delightful expression facing him, her hand dropping the book and catching hold of Lloyd's body instead.

 

Lips opened warmly welcoming him; warmly inviting him, warmly setting him tea down and a soft couch beside her, warmly covering him in blankets. Warmly making way for his tongue.  

 

Intertwining the slow seconds into the oxygen in their lungs. Sweet guided familiarity, following with soft acidic bites, charged whispers coming in and out of the tiny space between their mouths.

 

Small pecks trying to slow down their pace, failing helplessly by getting pulled towards a new kiss, like a burning candle waiting to be consumed in its entirety.

 

As he let go, Alicia opened her eyes.

 

“Was this what you were planning from the beginning?” 

 

With his hands now resting on her back, their eyes met, Lloyd hurriedly hid his flushed face by kissing her forehead, giving himself a little time before answering.

 

“It's a nice surprise isn't it?”

 

Alicia chuckled, taking his face into her hands, his eyes told her no explanation behind his sudden ambush, only telling her how much he loved her.

 

Even though you haven't said it out loud.

 

The tender moment, looking into each other’s eyes extended, both with questions for the other, both too scared to ask; one of them sure that talking it out would be better, even if they kept certain things to themselves; the other believing that not all thoughts and circumstances must be shared, some must stay hidden in other not to hurt or disappoint the each other.

 

For them, the quiet moments of their embrace were a painful reminder of the things eating away at their conscience, things that wouldn't disappear just because they cared for one another, things that would only grow. A stone inside their shoes, hurting the same spot every time they took a step, be it forward or backward, the spot still hurt.

 

But they could not jump into it, choosing instead to dance circles around the long due conversation.

 

“It was a nice surprise”

 

 “Did you notice me coming?”

 

“I felt you at the entrance”

 

“Not much of a surprise hehe, I'm glad you noticed me”

 

“I liked it a lot”

 

“It was an honor- Huh?”

 

The entrance? I didn't make my presence known at the entrance. In this extensive library…

 

“Are you keeping your guard up at all times?”

 

“Uh that's” 

 

Alicia looked at him like she'd been caught, Lloyd couldn’t help but frown, his blood cooling down at the realization.

 

“That's too much, being on alert like that at all times, you won't be able to relax”

 

“If it means I won't make the same mistake again”

 

You’re still...

 

“Even so, I don't like it”

 

“Not liking it’s something else”

 

He pursed his lips. The words managed to escape from him earlier than he wanted to. Before they were organized out of his jumbled mess.

 

“It's like you're telling me you don't feel safe… Do you want me to up the security? Tell Javier to push the knights harder?”

 

Letting the uneasiness of the worries of his mind take hold of him, he separated a littke, his eyes darting around while mumbling plans, possibilities, and solutions. Alicia could only stare, waiting for him to settle down, wondering how to approach this.

 

“I can try something else… what about-”

 

“It's not that I felt unsafe”

 

“What about changing all the staff? Maybe it's a long due renewal”

 

“That’s…’

 

“Would that make it better?”

 

He tried.

 

“Not necessarily”

 

Lloyd squinted his eyes, looking at her with confusion.

 

She's not bringing it up after all. It was the perfect time to tell me.

 

“Alicia”

 

“Yes?”

 

Better to change settings.

 

“Want to go out?”

 

“That’s sudden…”

 

Can we just leave like that? So abruptly? What's with him today? Is he worried?

 

“I should suggest having Draggy take us somewhere quiet, but he and the summons are in revolt, so maybe we could go undercover through the city?”

 

He proposed, trying to convince her before she had time to think or to remember she was busy. Alicia, on the other hand, took this opportunity to change the subject, jumping at the chance to speak about something less demanding.

 

“Wait, elaborate. What do you mean revolt?”

 

“Erhh uhh well, they won't talk to me”

 

“Because of what happened at the expedition?”

 

I did complain to them about it… Just wanted Lloyd to stay grounded for a bit, since he can't work as efficiently without them, to think they would outright reject him.

 

“Yeah, it seems letting Draggy take them after coming back was a bad idea”

 

“I understand Draggy being mad, you left him here, and when you came back after being attacked…”

 

“You're siding with them?”

 

“Well if you brought him surely that wouldn't have happened”

 

“Hmm”

 

“Their plan would have failed from the beginning. Sure, they can ignore a knight, how could they guess he is a grandmaster? But nobody can ignore a dragon.”

 

You are still worried … And here I was thinking you weren't stressed about it anymore. In a way, I haven’t moved on from this either... We’re the same.

 

“Did you perhaps, talk to them? Those words sound familiar”

 

“I didn't cause the revolt if that's what you're asking”

 

“Hmmm”

 

“Must be that great minds think alike”

 

“Hmmmm”

 

“You said something about exploring the city?”

 

“Don’t think I’ll forget about it, you all conspired against me” He said with a pout.

 

“Come on” Alicia nudged him “It sounded like a fun idea”

 

Guess I didn’t need to worry about her being busy.

 

“Well we can use the secret entrance to get in and out undetected ”

 

“And? What else?”

 

“People probably won't recognize me easily, I look average” 

 

“I beg to differ” She kissed him on the cheek, he let out a small laugh.

 

“I’m being serious hehe, we need you to hide your hair”

 

“Would we wear disguises?”

 

“Why not?” Lloyd smiled mischievously ” We have an expert in that field”

 

On the other side of the palace, a silver-haired knight felt a shiver down his spine.

Chapter 3: Your words will soothe me

Summary:

After some sweet back and forth.

The royal couple prepares to go out on an undercover date.

Lloyd tries to guide their conversations towards finding why she won't talk to him about ‘destroying’ that family. Alicia is firm in her decision.

“Then let's go!”

 

“Right now?”

 

Alicia took his hand while walking ahead, leaving the bookshelves behind. With a pleasant smile, he figured that appealing to her responsable side might give him some leverage just in case she were to regret leaving her work alone.

 

Now I'll be the voice of reason, and if she rebukes, I’ll feel more reassured, it means she wants to spend time with me, maybe we can talk too.

 

“I know I was the one to propose this but I expected you to tell me we needed to prepare in advance for such things, like informing the aids and secretaries”

 

She chucked.

 

“They'll be fine, they're capable enough to take care of things for a while” she paused, slightly shaking her head “Although now that you mention it, we should tell them, otherwise they'll be looking for us”

 

“Right, while you do that, I'll bring you a new set of clothes”

 

“To my office?” she gave him an amused look “How daring”

 

“Why not? I'll meet you there soon”

 

He kissed her hand, getting ready to walk ahead when he heard Alicia's remark.

 

“I never knew you were the kind of man who would want to undress the queen in her workspace”

 

Lloyd gasped in indignation.

 

Why would you say it like that! As if I had an ulterior…

 

“Well, now you know”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“But! We have plans today, so… next time?”

 

“Sure~”

 

***

Lloyd, who had already changed into worker clothes, was walking to her office with a backpack. The closer he got to the door the more he realized how it would look if the guards saw the queen coming in and out with different clothes.

 

I'm such a fool, I should have told her to come to the bedroom instead… No, that doesn't help either. This won't do, I guess we are sneaking around after all.

 

Just then, Alicia's assistants came out holding a mountain of documents, looking both proud and excited.

 

“Good morning your majesty!”

 

“Good morning to you too, thank you for your work, sorry for the sudden change”

 

“Not at all! we're always telling her majesty to take it easier”

 

“This is a nice opportunity for us!”

 

“We can show off our skills too!”

 

That's how it was? What a boon! We should have done this sooner.

 

“That's good to hear, keep up the good work”

 

“We will!”

 

“Enjoy your date!”

 

Ah how do they know? What did she tell them! 

 

Lloyd smiled wryly as a response while opening the door. The guards tried and failed to remain expressionless with their eyes firmly starting at the wall, while the assistants walked away giggling.

 

This is so embarrassing!

 

With the sound of the closing door, Alicia approached him and guided him to a small annex in the office. Lloyd took the clothes he prepared for her out of the backpack as she watched him intently.

 

Might as well make him do it himself, hehe he looks shy, did he not realize back then?

 

“Erm I think this dress will look great on you, I bought it last time I visited the city”

 

He showed her a simple yet elegant frilled dress with sleeves reaching the elbows and laces stimulating a v-cut.

 

“The designer is starting out their business, It's not something you would wear and much less here in the palace but…”

 

Did he imagine me in that dress and decided to buy it? Cute! I should invite him over the next time I have my fittings.

 

“I like it a lot, thank you for thinking of me. Help me put it on?”

 

It's either I stand here watching her or I help her change? 

 

“Gladly”

 

Her beautiful frame leisurely covered by her light shirt came uncovered by his hands, hands that were holding themselves back from touching anything but the fabric of her clothes. 

 

Her firm abdomen, her battle made scars, her bellybutton, her chest, her exquisite cleavage, were calling to those hands on a cellular level. When he took off her shirt, Lloyd felt stupid.

 

“Hah really, I went and said ‘next time’ but couldn't we… for a bit”

 

“It wouldn't be ‘for a bit. Please concentrate Lloyd”

 

“Don't find this amusing”

 

“Don't get excited”

 

“Alright, fair. I won't ask for impossibles”

 

“Well? I was told we had plans, hurry along, the queen needs undressing”

 

“Not fair”

 

He undid the bottom of her pants and helped her off them along with her shoes, her hands on his shoulders for stability. 

 

“The king needs undressing too, you know?”

 

“The king is already wearing different clothes”

 

“Hpmt” He observed her with unabashed slowness “Would you give the king a small kiss for his service?”

 

“Certainly”

 

Alicia kissed him softly and truthfully, then, after a few minutes, she gave him a hug and put the dress in his hands.

 

“I feel like the luckiest man in the world”

 

 Alicia raised her arms and lowered her head to put on the one-piece dress, Lloyd fixed it well and knelt down to fit her shoes. It looked better than he imagined.

 

“Beautiful”

 

“You look beautiful too”

 

“You think so? These are normal clothes” she made him stand up.

 

“I love you”

 

He hugged her and kissed her forehead as a response.

 

“Me too”

 

I love you Alicia.

 

They went back to the office, and as she was approaching the door Lloyd pointed at a spot behind her chair.

 

“You told them we were visiting the town?”

 

“I told them we were going out”

 

“Hmm”

 

“Should I have lied?”

 

“No, I just thought you would want to keep it from prying ears”

 

“We don't need to worry about that anymore”

 

Because you took care of it.

 

She looked away from his eyes, to the place he pointed.

 

“Alright we’ll leave using the passage, this one comes out on the halls near the main chamber”

 

I know.

 

He took her hand and held it tight, as they went about crossing the palace walls.

 

“I always wanted to do this”

 

“I'm guessing that means you have some ideas?”

 

“One or two”

 

“We could spend the whole day out~” Alicia offered

 

“That comes after we manage to get out without being seen”

 

Walking hand in hand joking and giggling like they were half their age, sneaking through the corridors and hiding in empty rooms when anyone's footsteps could be heard, like the whole place was participating in their game. 

 

They were going as fast as they could without making a sound, their ears perked up at the slightest sign of people.

 

“Are you… sensing their energy?”

 

“I'll be relying on you for that”

 

“You'll compromise on this?

 

Alicia pulled him to one of the pillars, hiding behind a tall flower base as an official walked accompanied by his entourage.  

 

“Only when we're together” She whispered.

 

So you'll still do it when I'm not here.

 

“Do you feel safer that way? Wouldn't it be tiresome? Being on alert…”

 

Are you telling me to not leave again?

 

“You can think of it as training, uh like spacial awareness”

 

“...Alright, I'll take it for now”

 

“Glad we've come to an agreement. I'll be on your care today”

 

A wide grin.

 

“Oh I've been meaning to” Lloyd glanced to the side “They're gone”

 

He noticed her gaze remaining on the maids.

 

“Umm Alicia, do you want to tell me something?”

 

“No. Its nothing, don't worry about it”

 

“Its bothering me”

 

Alicia turned to him with a serious expression.

 

“I don't want to share everything, there are times when we can be like that, it doesn't mean we love eachother any less right? You of all people should understand”

 

She put her foot down, huh.

 

“I do, I used to do it all the time and I hated it, but… it may be different for you, I understand but I don't want to accept it”

 

“Can we come back to this later?”

 

"I’m okay with that. Just remember that we're together and nothing will change that, alright?”

 

I highly doubt that you're okay with it, but I won't back down. 

 

She believed it was better to hide herself, better to filter herself, better to be kind and the perfect partner for him. So he wouldn't realize just how much being apart from him hurt her, so he wouldn't know how much she wants to stop him from leaving ever again, so he wouldn't feel uncomfortable with her.

 

After all, you haven't said it out loud… You've shown me time and time again how much you love me, but… It's alright we'll follow your pace, it's better that way.

 

Lloyd sighed inwardly, deciding to push his worries back.

 

“I mentioned we need to do something about your hair so let's go this way”

 

He guided her in Javier's direction, remembering where the knight would usually have his breakfast. After a few more rounds of single-sided hide and seek, they found the silver haired man, and just when they were about to creep in and grab him to help them out, they noticed he was accompanied by someone.

 

It was a fair lady, with brown hair and green eyes, wearing the imperial mage’s insignia. 

 

A sly smile appeared on Lloyd's lips.

 

“Well would you look at that” he said as he approached them “It's nice to see you Lady Silluria, I hope he's treating you nicely, he can be a little difficult sometimes but he means well”

 

The embarrassed look on their faces made it increasingly difficult to not tease Javier, but Lloyd wasn't as shameless as to forget that Javier had been supportive of him from the beginning so he restrained himself, Alicia coming closer and stepping in was also a factor.

 

“We're sorry to interrupt you like this”

 

“Not at all your majesty!” Silluria panicked.

 

“Once again we're sorry, I'll be quick” she glanced at Lloyd who was busy receiving a reproching look from his knight “We actually wanted to sneak out of the palace for a bit and we were hoping Sir Asaram could help us with some disguises” 

 

Getting herself together, Lady Silluria tilted her head in confusion.

 

“With disguises, your majesty?”

 

Javier's eyes widened and trembled, a silent plea unlike anything seen before oscillating between the royal couple, asking for mercy; Alicia who only knew the suppercial details of the ‘Javier's undercover operation in Naharam’ was surprised by his reaction and looked at Lloyd with a questioning gaze.

He was grinning, not the usual mischievous smile; it was something akin to malicious pity. Sensing something was off she put her hand on his back and tapped on Lloyd's lower back, not wanting to bother the couple anymore. Lloyd pursed his lips in protest before complying.

 

“It's just that he's trustworthy, so I thought of asking for his guidance. Well actually” Lloyd looked at the lady “So are you, I got a better idea. Lady Silluria, could you dye her hair with magic?”

 

While Silluria was confused, Javier could only feel relieved.

 

“Dye her majesty's hair?”

 

“Since we already have unassuming clothes”

 

Alicia looked down at their clothes, they didn't look plain in her opinion “My red hair could damper our plans” 

 

“Exactly, everyone in the city would recognize Alicia, in order to enjoy our date we need to use disguises, at first, I thought of using a wig and makeup” Lloyd casted a small peek at Javier, the later praying his lover wouldn't notice it “But since we have such an excellent mage here…”

 

“Umm I see, yes, I could do that” she turned to Alicia “How long do you want the spell to last, your majesty?”

 

“Until sunset”

 

Silliria came closer and gave Alicia a nervous look.

 

“There's a small issue your majesty, I'll need to cast the spell on top of your head”

 

Alicia raised an eyebrow.

 

Would the queen bow her head to a mage? No, but I'm asking for a favor. Hmm what to do.

 

“S- should I climb on a chair, your majesty?” 

 

Not waiting for anyone else to find a solution, Javier, in his usual stoic manner gently put his hands on Silliria's waist, intending to lift her up.

 

“If you'll allow it” he said in a sickening sweet voice.

 

“Oh, how attentive of you” She answered with a soft smile.

 

Alicia and Lloyd were dumbfounded, as Javier lifted Siluria up putting her down on his right arm, lifting her just high enough for her hands to reach Alicia's head. It was romantic and simultaneously very awkward to witness. As the spell was being casted, the royal couple could only stare at each other nervously, the sudden show of affection made them feel guilty.

 

I didn't know they were that close.

 

Geez that jerk could have told me about it and none of this would have happened.

 

Gradually Alicia's beautiful red locks took a darker and darker shade until all her hair became black.

 

“This feels weird” She said braiding her alien hair.

 

“It looks nice” Lloyd's eyes took the shape of crescent moons as he took her hand “Thank you Lady Silluria, Javier”

 

“We'll make sure to compensate you later”

 

“It was a pleasure your majesty” a moment of silence “Have fun on your date”

 

“You guys as well”

 

They bid them farewell and walked away, noting that the grand swordmaster still hadn't let his lady down from his arms,the royal couple chuckled quietly as they entered one of the guest's dressing rooms.

 

“That was unexpected”

 

“How so? I've even heard some nobles sighing because they could no longer try to match their daughters with the great commander of the royal guards”

 

“Well if I think about it, he did mention something on passing, heh good for them. Sit here for a second” He pointed at the counter “I'll do your hair”

 

“Will you style my new hair?”

 

“I can probably do it”

 

“Not confident?”

 

“I got this”

 

His fingers combed her hair delicately.

 

“You know how to do a woman's hair?” her eyebrow raised slightly. 

 

“I've seen you do it enough times, I'm a fast learner” 

 

“You are good with your hands after all” 

 

His fingers paused for a moment.

 

“I'm glad you think so. I'll braid the front bits to the back and let the rest of your hair loose”

 

“This ponytail is already simple enough”

 

“It's fun”

 

“...Do it however you want”

 

“Thank you”

 

“What do you think of the color, does it suit me?”

 

“It looks shiny and draws attention to your eyes”

 

“In that case, which one do you like better?

 

“I love your red hair” 

 

“Is that so?”

 

“It's pretty”

 

“Elaborate”

 

“Are you enjoying embarrassing me?”

 

“Your wife is asking for praises don't make her say it out loud”

 

“...”

 

“Ahem”

 

“Your hair reminds me of sunset and dawn, the lights reflects on it as if I'm looking at the sun, if I miss you I can remember you by looking at any flame”

 

“...Who's embarrassing who now”

 

“Hehe, I'm done. We can go now. Here, take my hand, I'll show you the way”

 

“I also know how to use the secret passages my lord”

 

“Your husband is asking you to held his hand don't make him say it outloud”

 

“Heh how cheeky”

 

Notes:

I was re-reading Shadow Slave +1600 and got influenced by those idiots, so if the writing changed a bit you know who to blame It's Fumbling Star's fault alright 😭🙏

HAVE YOU FELLAS READ THE MANWHA!? They did so many good changes to their relationship ahhh I'm so happy😭😭

thank you for keeping up with me ehhe

Notes:

Thank you for reading