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Taehyun could count the instances where he had cried on one hand.
The first time was when he broke his arm at age six after falling off the swings at the playground. The pain was unbearable and even though his mother was with him the whole way to the hospital, he couldn’t stop bawling.
The second time was when he witnessed his father hitting his mother so hard her head turned to the side. Her eyes landed right on his nine-year-old self in the doorway. Taehyun’s father followed her gaze and regarded his family with a hateful glare before grabbing his coat and storming out the door. His mother didn’t waste a single moment, didn’t shed one tear. She held her crying son by the shoulders and sent him upstairs to pack an overnight bag.
“We’re going to grandma’s,” she told him with a shaky smile.
Taehyun never saw his father again. Not that he missed him.
Still, he had never cried harder than back when he was 15. When he lost his best friend.
Well, lost was probably a little dramatic.
After all, Kai had simply moved to another country. They had sworn to be best friends forever. As his childhood friend and neighbor, Kai was with him through every hardship in his life; his broken arm, his dad leaving, his discovery about possibly not being into girls which came shortly before he had to move.
Kai was there always.
“Don’t forget me, okay?” Taehyun said through his tears.
“I’ll never forget you!” Kai stood in front of a packed car, his parents and sisters already inside, waiting for him. He threw his arms around Taehyun’s small frame and patted his hair. “I’ll come visit you! You can come visit me as well!”
It never happened. They lost contact after a year when they both got busier with school. Taehyun kept a picture of himself and Kai on his nightstand for years right up until he moved to his college dorm.
Now, at twenty-two, he could add one more instance of crying to his tally.
His mom was seeing him off at the airport. Taehyun felt a little ridiculous for crying in his mother’s arms, but she was the person he loved and respected most, and going to a different country, being this far apart from her for the first time messed with him a bit.
“Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ll bother you with video calls often enough,” she promised him, a fond smile playing on her lips. Taehyun knew how proud she was of him for taking this step, and though his decision to leave was painful for her too, she had been nothing but supportive of him.
Taehyun laughed through his tears and hugged her once more as the final boarding call rang through the crackly airport speakers. He almost didn’t want to let go but he did, albeit reluctantly.
She smiled and caressed his cheek. “Go and be successful. I’m so proud of you, my boy.”
Taehyun smiled and squeezed her hand one last time before he turned to board the plane to New York City.
***
Taehyun had lucked out hard with his accommodation.
Not only was the cozy studio apartment close to Columbia University where he would be finishing his degree, but it was also completely free of charge. An old friend of his mother’s owned the place and since he was hardly using it, he had offered it to Taehyun for his stay.
It had significantly calmed his nerves seeing as he didn’t have to worry about rent now. The apartment was also way more spacious than anything he would have been able to afford on his own. This way, he could act like a tourist when he had free time instead of being forced to pick up a part-time job.
Taehyun had come to the city two weeks before the semester began, and he spent every ounce of free time preparing for his courses and sightseeing. He couldn’t wait to see what his year here would bring, but he also couldn’t help but be a little anxious about it.
His mother called every other night, making sure he was eating enough and checking in in general. She also kept asking whether he had made friends yet.
“Mom, I haven’t met anybody yet,” he told her patiently during their video call. “Ask me again when classes actually start tomorrow.”
She pouted. “I just want my baby to have fun.”
Taehyun laughed. “And I will, trust me. I’ll send you some of the pictures I took today, okay?”
“You’d better be in some of them! I want to show off to my friends,” she joked – well, Taehyun wasn’t sure if she wasn’t at least partly serious.
“Alright, mom. I’m gonna go to sleep now, okay?”
She blew him a kiss. “Good night, my darling. And good luck for your first day tomorrow, it’s going to go great!”
He smiled. “Miss you, good night.”
***
Finding his way around campus turned out to be a lot more challenging than he had originally expected. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from strolling around, awed. So far he had only seen pictures of this place online or in his brochures. Until now, it hadn’t fully settled in that he was really going to be studying here.
And he was going to be late for his first lecture already.
“Hey, do you need help?” Taehyun was surprised to be addressed so out of the blue. He turned to find a guy approaching him; tall, handsome, stylish. His ears were pierced multiple times, and his hoodie was slipping off one shoulder. At first glance he appeared a little intimidating, but he regarded Taehyun with a friendly smile that instantly made him look approachable. “Are you in your first semester?”
“Oh no, but I am new here,” Taehyun told him. “I’m Taehyun. I mean– Terry.”
It was a bit difficult to get used to introducing himself with his English name, but the few times he had been asked for his name here, answering with “Taehyun” had always ended with them butchering the pronunciation. This boy, however, wasn’t white.
“Terry, huh?” The guy said, running a hand through his black hair with a smile. “I’m Yeonjun. Daniel to the people here.”
“You’re Korean too?” Taehyun asked, immediately relieved.
“Yeah, but I’ve been living here for a while. So, are you lost?” Yeonjun questioned.
With a start, Taehyun remembered his lecture. “I have to get to this building,” he said, pointing at the building in question on his campus map.
Yeonjun regarded it for a moment before his face lit up with recognition. “Oh, that’s right over there. You might still make it if you hurry. Will you be okay?”
“Yeah, thanks so much!” Taehyun retorted, already hurrying off. He felt a little bad for not properly thanking Yeonjun for his help, but he would try anything to make it to his lecture in time.
Now that he knew where he had to go, Taehyun picked up his step. He made it, just as the clock struck 10. The room was packed with chatting students and the only few seats left were in the front. Panting from his sprint, Taehyun descended the stairs and claimed one of the seats in the middle.
A few moments later, the professor entered and Taehyun sat up straight, buzzing with the first-day-of-class excitement he always experienced at the start of each semester.
“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I am Professor MacTavish and I welcome you to this Sociology lecture...”
Taehyun quickly got out his laptop and began taking notes about the kind of coursework that would be expecting him this semester before the professor switched over to the actual lecture.
Taehyun had hoped he would be immersed, but Sociology had never been his favorite part of his Behavioral Science studies. Regardless, he sat through the whole thing, diligently taking notes. He refrained from sparing too many glances at the huge clock above the entrance the professor had come through.
When class was finally dismissed, Taehyun exited the building the same way he had entered, trailing after a few students animatedly chatting about the lecture. He took his time now that he wasn’t in a rush anymore, looking around the campus and taking everything in once more.
He had just had his first lecture at Columbia!
“Kang Taehyun?”
Taehyun stopped in his tracks at the voice behind him, his brows furrowing in confusion. He hardly knew anybody in this city, and certainly nobody who would address him by his full name like this.
Taehyun turned slowly, causing a few students to swerve before they ran into him. A guy was approaching him. He was tall with broad shoulders and blonde hair. Taehyun’s first thought was that this man was gorgeous. That thought was immediately followed by ‘how does this guy know me’ and finally, he realized that his friendly face looked oddly familiar.
The guy came to a halt in front of him, smiling as Taehyun looked up at him. “It really is you! Do you remember me?”
“Oh my god...” Taehyun trailed off as it finally sank in. The last time they had seen each other, Taehyun was crying his eyes out. “Huening Kai?” Kai brightened up at Taehyun’s recognition. “You’re tall now!”
Kai laughed and ran a hand through his bleached hair. “Yeah, I’ve had a few growth spurts. But holy shit! I can’t believe you’re here. This sounds weird, but I was staring at you throughout the entire lecture asking myself if it was really you... god, it’s been forever.”
“Seven years...” Taehyun trailed off in disbelief. Puberty had been incredibly kind to Kai, he noted. Kai was built now, though he didn’t look overly muscular. He had a good two or three inches on Taehyun and his face had lost most of its baby fat, though his cheeks still looked incredibly soft. And that blonde hair suited him dangerously well, too.
“Have you been here long?”
Taehyun shook his head, trying to find his voice again properly. “I moved here two weeks ago. I’m finishing my degree here.”
“That’s so cool,” Kai beamed. “I never would have guessed I’d see you again. And here of all places.”
“Right? What are the odds?” Taehyun said with a small smile. He knew he had missed Kai over the past seven years, and he had wished so desperately for a way to reconnect with him, but it hit him just how much he had missed him now that he was standing right in front of him.
“Tell you what, I gotta run, but let’s have coffee this weekend?” Kai suggested, his face lighting up with his own suggestion.
“Um,” Taehyun stammered, stunned at how easy-going and out-there Kai seemed to be, compared to the shy kid he remembered from back then, “yeah, absolutely.”
Kai smiled at him, so genuinely happy that it tugged at Taehyun’s chest. “It’s honestly so good to see you. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
Taehyun could only manage a nod and no sooner, Kai jogged off. It was only when Taehyun could hardly make out his retreating back among the crowd that he realized he didn't even have Kai's number.
***
“Little Kai?!” Taehyun’s delighted mother asked over the phone when Taehyun told her the news that same evening.
“He’s not so little anymore, mom,” Taehyun said, thinking back to Kai’s broad shoulders. He shook his head to snap out of it. Luckily, he was in a voice-only call with his mother tonight, but he still didn’t want his mind to wander. This was his childhood best friend, for heaven’s sake. “He’s all grown up now.”
“It’s fate, my darling,” Taehyun’s mom said with full conviction in her voice. “You two were always glued together and I remember how heartbroken you were when he left. Now you meet again in the city of love–”
“That’s Paris, mom,” Taehyun cut in with a chuckle. “Besides, what do you mean love?”
“Nothing, baby, I was just saying...” she trailed off, sounding fond. “I hope you two can reconnect. I’ve never seen you smile as brightly as you did when you were running around with that boy.”
Taehyun was so glad she couldn’t see him right now. His cheeks heated up at her soft tone and her spot-on observation. Kai had been his best friend; kind, loyal, patient. He had been his only friend for a long time.
Taehyun had never met anybody like him again. He had never wanted to.
To him, Kai was one of a kind.
“So, did anything else happen on your first day? Did you have fun?”
“Yeah, it was alright. I didn’t have many lectures today, but it was amazing to be on that campus, you know? I do miss home though,” Taehyun said honestly.
“I miss having you close by,” his mom replied, “but knowing you’re out there studying what you love is more than enough of a consolation.”
Taehyun smiled, once again grateful for the support she had been showing him throughout his university years. “Thanks, mom. I’ll try to come home for Christmas, though, alright?”
“That would be amazing, baby. I’ll make your favorite cookies. Speaking of... have you eaten?”
Taehyun made a face. After running into Kai, preparing for his next lecture, and generally buzzing with the excitement of finally getting to study here, Taehyun had completely forgotten to make himself dinner. Unfortunately, his mother interpreted the silence correctly and made a disapproving tutting noise.
“You need to remember to eat, Taehyunnie. Don’t make me come over there,” she half-threatened.
“I’ll do better, I promise, mom. Today has been a lot. I’ll just order something tonight,” he assured her. She sighed but seemed content for now. “I’ll talk to you soon, then?”
“Definitely. Eat well, my son!”
“I will, mom. Bye, love you.”
“I love you!”
***
“So, I’m royally stupid.”
Taehyun looked up and found Kai taking a seat next to him. He had managed to come to the lecture hall a tad earlier than last week and had managed to find a seat in the middle of the room. He smiled at Kai, happy to see him again, even though it had only been a week since their last encounter.
At least it wasn’t seven years this time.
“Why is that?”
“Because I asked you out for coffee when I don’t even have your number,” Kai told him, looking at him earnestly.
Taehyun hoped his cheeks didn’t redden at his words.
Asked you out.
Shaking off the thought – Kai probably didn’t even mean it like that – Taehyun reached into his pocket and got his phone out, unlocking it before sliding it over to him. Kai grinned and picked it up, typing his number in and then pressing the call button. His own phone lit up and he hung up, handing the phone back to Taehyun.
He had saved himself as “Kai” with a penguin emoji and a green heart next to his name. Taehyun chuckled and pocketed the device again.
“So, how about we get that coffee after class? Are you free?”
Seeing as Taehyun didn’t have much of a social life here yet, getting coffee with Kai actually sounded incredible.
“I am,” he confirmed with a nod.
“Perfect, we have so much to catch up on!” Kai said excitedly and Taehyun already felt the inevitable smile coming on. Back in the day, his cheeks used to hurt from how much he would smile whenever he was around Kai. He was glad to see that nothing seemed to have changed in their dynamic even after not seeing each other for so long.
Well, except for the fact that Taehyun still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Kai, who used to be the same height as him was this tall and broad and hot now.
Taehyun wanted to ask if he worked out, although the answer was rather obvious. The only thing stopping him was his fear of making it weird. He wasn’t sure if Kai remembered, but Taehyun was by no means straight. And if Kai was, he didn’t want him to think Taehyun was hitting on him all of a sudden when maybe all he wanted was to reconnect with his old childhood friend.
“You alright? You’ve got your thinking face on,” Kai pointed out, reaching out to poke at the crease that always formed between Taehyun’s eyebrows when he was deep in thought.
“Sorry, I spaced out for a sec,” Taehyun admitted sheepishly, but Kai only gave him a look of understanding.
“Still the same,” he commented fondly.
Taehyun wasn’t sure what to reply to that, but before he could stammer out an awkward answer Professor MacTavish entered the room and began his lecture. Kai seemed to space out halfway through, doodling on his notebook. Taehyun chuckled to himself and focused on taking notes as he was sure Kai would need them later on.
***
After class was finally over, Kai unceremoniously took Taehyun’s hand and led him off campus, rambling about his favorite café. Taehyun only listened with one ear, too focused on their intertwined hands. As kids, they would hold hands all the time everywhere they went, and it astounded him how easy it was for them to fall back into old habits.
“Shit, sorry,” Kai said, causing Taehyun to look up at him. Kai’s grip on his hand was loosening as he continued, “I should have asked.”
“It’s fine,” Taehyun said before he could stop himself. Kai still let go of him, however, his cheeks dusted red with embarrassment. “Really. I’m glad things aren’t weird between us.”
“Me too,” Kai agreed, looking relieved at Taehyun’s reassurance. “Now, you ready for the best coffee of your life?”
Taehyun laughed. “I’ll have you know that it’s going to take a lot to make me swerve lanes from my favorite café back home.”
“Well, you’ve never had Soobin’s.” With that, Kai led him the rest of the way to a niche little corner café Taehyun wouldn’t have even seen had they not been steering directly towards it.
Inside, it was warm and cozy with comfortable-looking booths, held in a pretty brown. The counter as well as the tabletops were of a caramel color and Taehyun immediately felt a sense of comfort exuding from this place.
It seemed like this place was truly hidden away. There were only a handful of people seated at the cozy round tables. A barista was preparing somebody’s order, their back facing Kai and Taehyun as they approached the counter.
“Soobin.”
The barista turned and his face brightened in a smile. “Kai, it’s been a minute.”
“Yeah, I was upstate for most of my semester break,” Kai answered. He gestured at Taehyun. “This is my friend from childhood days, Kang Taehyun. Though I guess he goes by a different name here.”
“Terry...” Taehyun supplied timidly. “But either is fine, really.”
“Nice to meet you, just order whatever. It’s on the house!”
“Come on, we couldn’t,” Kai said, waving his hands with a chuckle.
Soobin smiled prettily. “Anything for my favorite customer.”
Taehyun observed their interactions as Soobin teased Kai about always ordering the same drink – vanilla latte, apparently. He couldn’t help but wonder... was Soobin just nice or was he interested in Kai?
My favorite customer...
Taehyun knew that he had no business being curious about Kai’s relationship status. He didn’t even know if Kai liked guys in general. How could he just jump to conclusions like that?
“Tyun?”
Taehyun’s heart jumped at the sound of the familiar nickname. He looked up to find Kai and Soobin giving him inquisitive looks.
“Sorry, spaced out.”
“I was just asking about your order,” Soobin said, still with that friendly smile on his face. Taehyun practically had no choice but to like him. He was so handsome, it almost seemed unreal. His eyes were kind, and he didn’t give Taehyun weird looks for spacing out in the middle of his café.
“Oh, right. I’ll have a caramel macchiato please,” Taehyun said, blushing slightly.
“Right away,” Soobin chirped and sprang into action. “Just grab any booth, I’ll bring your drinks over in a bit.”
Kai led Taehyun over to a booth in the corner. Taehyun noticed the large bookshelves in this corner of the café and let his gaze wander over the spines, trying to catch something interesting.
“How did you find this place?”
“It’s amazing, right?” Kai seemed proud as he let his gaze wander over the cozy interior. “Soobin used to be a senior from my department, but he decided to pursue business after all and when he opened this café I kind of became his most loyal customer.”
“I’m surprised by how remote it is, considering it’s so close to the university,” Taehyun pointed out, looking around at the few patrons sipping their coffee, reading books, or hunching over their laptops.
Kai grinned and leaned in conspiratorially. “That’s because it’s secret. Only wizards can see it.”
Taehyun gaped at him for a moment before he broke into a chuckle. Kai quickly chimed in. “You’re silly.”
“I get that a lot,” Kai retorted proudly.
“So, how’s your family? How’s little Hiyyih?”
Kai snorted. “Not so little anymore, I’m afraid. She started at Brown last fall.”
Taehyun spluttered. He supposed he should have known, but it just sounded so surreal. Bahiyyih was still saved in his mind as Kai’s 13-year-old sister who wanted to come along to the comic book stores with them all the time.
“There’s no way...”
“I thought the same when she got her acceptance letter. But she’s the smartest in our family, so it only makes sense. It’s still weird though. To see your little sibling grow up? Oh, she’s got a girlfriend now too! We met her this summer.”
Taehyun smiled at that, pleasantly surprised by the news. “That’s awesome.”
“Yeah,” Kai agreed, wearing a fond smile on his face which was strictly reserved for his little sister as Taehyun remembered. “What about your mom? Is she well?”
“She is. We talk a lot,” Taehyun told him. He was by no means ashamed of how close he was to his mother. Other guys his age had often made fun of him for being a ‘mama’s boy,’ but he had never taken it to heart. And with Kai? He was beginning to feel more comfortable with him by the second; plus, he knew their story, so it was no hassle sharing with him. “She keeps me in the loop about all the gossip back home.”
Kai laughed heartily. “Man, I miss home...”
Taehyun smiled faintly. “Did you ever go back to visit?”
“Please, my first stop would have been your house,” Kai waved off. “No, I’ve always wanted to, but my parents were always so busy with work. Then later on, when I was old enough to go by myself, I simply didn’t find the time. I hate that we lost contact...”
“Me too...” Taehyun agreed, nodding slowly. “Seven years seems like a lot, looking back...”
“Well, we have time to catch up now, don’t we?” Kai said good-naturedly just as Soobin came over with their coffee.
“Here you go, gentlemen. Enjoy,” he said in a fake posh accent as he set down their respective drinks. Taehyun noticed a dimple on his cheek when he smiled. This man was pretty as a webtoon character.
“Thank you,” he answered politely.
“Thanks, Soobinnie!”
Soobin ruffled Kai’s bleached hair fondly before making his way back to the counter. Taehyun watched him retreat, the question burning on his tongue. But he couldn’t possibly... it was too intrusive. Especially for their first proper hangout in so long.
“Have a taste,” Kai encouraged him, clearly eager to hear Taehyun’s feedback on Soobin’s world-renowned coffee. Taehyun complied and brought the cup to his lips to take a sip from his caramel macchiato. His eyes widened slightly. Kai grinned, a knowing expression on his face. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
“It’s... wow, it’s perfect,” Taehyun admitted, staring at the coffee in his hand like it was one of the greatest wonders in the world. Kai really hadn’t been exaggerating.
The door to the café burst open and a guy came storming in, another student from the looks of it.
“Soobin,” he cried out dramatically, “I need my caffeine fix!”
Soobin rolled his eyes in a playful manner and instantly got to preparing the guy’s order without even having to hear it first. Probably another regular.
Taehyun didn’t mean to stare, but as he took a closer look at the newcomer, he recognized the handsome guy from last week who had shown him the way to the lecture hall.
The guy made eye contact and recognition danced over his face. He strode over with a smile. “Hey, freshman!”
“Not a freshman,” Taehyun grumbled as he took another sip from his heavenly coffee. “Thanks again for your help last week. I would have been horrendously late if not for you.”
Yeonjun laughed and patted Taehyun’s shoulder. “Any time. Hi, Kai, how’s it going.”
Kai looked between Yeonjun and Taehyun, clearly confused. “You two know each other?”
“Hardly,” Yeonjun supplied. “Just helped this little damsel out once.”
“Damsel,” Taehyun repeated with an amused scoff. Yeonjun only chuckled and ruffled Taehyun’s hair much like Soobin had done to Kai earlier. It seemed as though this guy already considered Taehyun a friend. Seeing as he seemed to be acquainted with both Kai and Soobin, Taehyun couldn’t really say he minded.
“Junie, your coffee is ready,” Soobin called over and Yeonjun immediately rushed back to the counter, taking the steaming beverage and holding it up to the sky like it was the Holy Grail. He then briefly set it down, planted his hands on the countertop, and pushed himself up to peck Soobin square on the lips. “Thank you, my darling. I shall see you tonight.”
“Yeah, yeah, get out of here,” Soobin waved off with a bright smile and rosy cheeks. Yeonjun winked at Taehyun and Kai as he picked up his coffee again and left the shop.
He certainly had a lot of personality, that one.
“Yeonjun’s with Soobin?”
Kai, who had been sipping on his vanilla latte, nodded.
“They’re practically married at this point. High school sweethearts; moved here together. They’re like everyone’s substitute parents. If you need a shoulder to cry on, somebody to listen, or somebody to come pick you up when you’re drunk as fuck and throwing up in the back alley of a gay bar, they’re the ones to call.”
“Who’s everyone?” Taehyun asked, trying to remain nonchalant about Kai’s oddly specific example.
“Oh, well me and my roommate Beomgyu. Though I guess it's a bit different with them and Beomgyu... I guess they’re more my substitute parents. But, anyway, from the way Yeonjun treated you, he’s probably going to take you under his wing as well,” Kai said cheerfully.
Taehyun snorted, although he quite enjoyed the thought of having a little group of friends here. He thought he would feel like a stranger in this big city, but not only had he met his best friend again; he was also about to be integrated into his circle of friends.
“I don’t need to be taken under anybody’s wing, you know.” It was half-hearted, which Kai immediately picked up on.
“Yeah, well, deal with it. Yeonjun is like a mama bird sometimes,” he said with a chuckle at his own little joke. “Oh, that reminds me, he’s having a party this weekend as a belated birthday celebration. I’m going, obviously. Why don’t you come along?”
Taehyun shook his head. “I couldn’t... I mean, I barely know the guy, so I can’t very well intrude on his birthday party...”
“It’s nothing too personal. Yeonjun is pretty popular, you know. Filthy rich, social butterfly. And it’ll give you a chance to meet some new people.”
Taehyun couldn’t deny that he was kind of intrigued. A party would be a perfect opportunity to hang out with Kai some more. On top of that, he was right. Taehyun might meet new people. And while that wasn’t necessarily something Taehyun needed, it also wouldn’t hurt.
Finally, he gave a nod of agreement. “Okay, if you’re sure it’s alright with Yeonjun, I’ll go.”
Kai beamed. “It’s 100% alright with him. But I can tell Soobin if you need confirmation.”
They finished their coffee and spent the next few hours talking about old times before Kai checked his phone and his eyes widened.
“Jesus, it’s this late already? I have a study thing to get to...” he looked up apologetically. Taehyun smiled and waved off. “We’ll hang out again soon, okay? And I’ll text you the details about the party.”
“Sounds good,” Taehyun agreed. He got up with Kai and together they bid their goodbyes to Soobin before exiting the café. “I’m that way.” Taehyun pointed down the street to the next subway station.
“I’m the other way,” Kai said regretfully. “Sorry to have to cut this short.”
Taehyun chuckled, shaking his head. They had been hanging out for at least four hours, but it warmed his heart that Kai wanted to spend more time with him.
“It’s okay,” he assured him. “Can’t have you neglecting your studies, can I?”
Kai laughed and stepped closer. Taehyun met his hug almost automatically. It was yet another thing that hadn’t changed between them. Kai’s love for physical touch, hugging his friends goodbye. Only now he was broad and tall, and Taehyun fit perfectly into his arms.
“I’ll see you soon,” Kai mumbled before he pulled back. Taehyun was sure his cheeks were beet-red again, so he only nodded. Kai grinned and poked his warm cheek. “You blush a lot more than you used to. It’s cute.”
He took off with a wave before Taehyun had time to process his words. He buried his face in his hands and let out an embarrassed whine before he remembered that he was in public so he made his way to the subway station with quick steps. Back at home, Taehyun tried to ignore how much his heart stuttered whenever he allowed himself to think about Kai’s arms around him.
***
The weekend came much sooner than Taehyun had hoped for. Over the past few days, he had been texting with Kai on a frequent basis. As promised, Kai had gotten confirmation from Yeonjun that it was okay and even encouraged for him to bring Taehyun along to the party.
Still, it made Taehyun nervous. He hardly knew anybody there. What if he made a fool of himself? And what was he even going to wear? Something casual? Something chic? Something sexy?
He had no idea what kind of birthday party this was going to be and he felt too awkward about the whole thing to ask Kai about it. In the end, he ended up standing in front of his open closet, trying to pick an outfit. He tried on every single pair of jeans he owned.
Finally, he settled on a pair of black jeans and a white shirt which was slightly cropped. He finished it off with a washed-out gray denim jacket.
“You look fine, you got this,” Taehyun told himself throughout the whole ride to Yeonjun’s place. It didn’t help that Taehyun was slightly afraid of social situations. He tended to feel weird, awkward, different. And now, in a foreign country with people he barely knew.
But Kai would be there. That thought alone grounded him, made him slightly less shaky. He would be fine because Kai would be there.
Taehyun was glad to see that Yeonjun’s place was practically packed with people. That certainly made the situation way less intimate than he’d feared.
Yeonjun lived in the penthouse of a building which, according to Kai, had a pool right under the glass rooftop. Since this wasn’t a pool party, though, Taehyun didn’t feel any particular need to check it out for himself. People were bustling around everywhere, drinking, chatting, and dancing to the music blasting from the speakers.
“Taehyun!”
He perked up at the sound of Kai’s voice, but his breath hitched when he saw what he looked like tonight. Not only had Kai dyed his hair a shiny black, but he was also dressed up. He was wearing a black grille blouse that looked like it was stolen straight out of a Victorian-era vampire’s closet. He had paired it with a pair of jeans, similar to Taehyun's and shiny dress shoes.
“Uh, hi,” Taehyun stammered, “you look...”
“Ah, it’s a bit much,” Kai waved off, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. Now that he was closer Taehyun could make out the reddish eye makeup and the glitter on his neck.
He looked good.
“It’s all courtesy of my roommate,” Kai continued. He looked over his shoulder and reached out to grab some guy’s arm to pull him closer. He had chestnut brown hair and was dressed in all-black just like Kai. “This is Beomgyu. Gyu, this is Taehyun, my childhood friend!”
Beomgyu’s pretty face lit up in something akin to recognition. “Oh! So you’re the infamous Taehyun!” Kai sent him a warning look, but Beomgyu didn’t pay him any mind, sending Taehyun a bright smile. “You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve heard about you this past week alone.”
Taehyun chuckled as Kai’s cheeks began to match his eyeshadow. He extended his hand to Beomgyu awkwardly. “Nice to meet you.”
“Ah, what’s with the formal language, we’re all friends here, aren’t we?”
“Not for much longer,” Kai huffed as he took a sip from a cup in his hand, finishing it.
Taehyun laughed. Kai’s friends definitely seemed like quite the bunch. But he liked them so far. They had to be something if Kai liked thim.
“Kai tells me you sing,” Beomgyu said.
Taehyun looked at Kai who averted his gaze with a sheepish grin. “Um, yeah, I used to. I can’t believe you remembered that. I mean, I don’t really sing anywhere but my shower these days.”
“I get that,” Beomgyu chuckled. “I play electric guitar but I’m not confident about my singing at all, so I keep most of it on the down low.” Taehyun smiled, happy to have something in common with Kai’s friend. “But hey, maybe we could jam together some time.”
“I feel somewhat redundant here,” Kai pointed out jokingly, “let me know if you two would like to be alone.”
Beomgyu snorted and patted Kai’s shoulder. “He’s all yours, baby. I should go find the birthday boy anyway.” He winked and scurried off.
Baby?
From what Taehyun had observed so far, Kai’s friends were rather affectionate with him. Taehyun didn’t quite know what to make of it, but at the same time, he understood their need to dote on him. Kai was just precious like that.
“Sorry, he’s a lot,” Kai said, although he sounded fond rather than genuinely annoyed.
Taehyun chuckled and waved off. “It’s fine, he’s really nice.”
“Yeah, a good roommate, that’s for sure. And he’s way too hard on himself about his talent. He’s the best,” Kai said with a proud little smile before he let his gaze wander over the crowd. “You haven’t had a drink yet, have you? Do you drink?”
“Occasionally, and no, I haven’t had a drink yet, you caught me right as I was coming in,” Taehyun told him. “I figured I should greet Yeonjun. Since it’s his birthday and all.”
“Oh, if Beomgyu’s about to be with him he’ll have his hands full for a while,” Kai said ominously. “Wait here, I’ll get some drinks.”
Taehyun didn’t protest and instead let Kai head in what he assumed was the direction of the kitchen. He mindlessly swayed to the music and meandered around to find a seat. It was still packed and although Yeonjun didn’t seem to be present, everybody was having fun from the looks of it.
***
Kai was taking his sweet time with the drinks.
To be fair, Taehyun had wandered off a bit, albeit not far enough for Kai not to find him. He rose from his seat to look around for him. Kai wasn’t in the kitchen when Taehyun finally squeezed his way through the mass of people. All he could find was an array of beverages on the kitchen isle and somebody sleeping on the floor, surrounded by red solo cups.
Taehyun continued his search, but Kai was nowhere to be found. He rejected the advances of a drunk guy around his age asking him to dance with him, and instead headed for the balcony. He needed some fresh air as well as a break from the booming music.
When he stepped outside, he took a deep breath of fresh air. Well, fresh was pushing it a little, but it was definitely better than the stuffiness inside. The balcony was quite large, stretching along the entire side of the building. Only a few people were out here, so it only took Taehyun a moment to register the familiar voice.
“I don’t care, I told you already–”
It was Kai, unmistakably.
“Then what about last night?” Taehyun didn’t recognize the other voice cutting Kai off mid-sentence, but it didn’t sound friendly. “Didn’t feel like you and I were done then.”
Taehyun looked around until he spotted them over by the railing across from him. A guy was up in Kai’s personal space, though Kai didn’t look threatened, merely annoyed and slightly wonky on his feet. The strange guy had a hand on Kai’s waist under the guise of steadying him.
“Well, we are done. I’m tired of you, TJ.” Kai turned to walk off, but TJ grabbed his wrist.
“Don’t do this, babe. We have our fun, don’t we? Come on, why don’t I take you home and–”
“You don’t get it, do you?” Kai snapped. Taehyun felt bad for eavesdropping, but he figured if he moved, Kai would notice him and catch him eavesdropping. “This was over months ago. You’re just too stubborn to understand that. Last night was a slip-up. It’s not gonna happen again.”
“See, you keep saying that, and then–”
“I mean it this time. Let go of me while I’m being nice,” Kai warned him. Taehyun wondered if he should step in, but Kai seemed to be holding his own. Plus, the guy seemed to be taking his warning quite seriously. He let go and Kai stormed off, disappearing out of sight.
TJ kicked at a flowerpot before he, too, went back inside. Taehyun remained where he stood for a few more moments, processing what he had just witnessed. This was not the way he had imagined getting confirmation about Kai being into guys.
And if he only dated guys like TJ, Taehyun didn’t think he would stand a chance. He flushed the moment the thought formed in his head. Was he actually trying to date Kai? Or was he simply a little attracted to his old friend who had glowed up like crazy over the years?
Somebody came to stand next to him, and he turned to find Soobin smiling at him. “You made it.”
“Yeah, hi,” Taehyun said with a faint smile. “Sorry for not mingling.”
“It’s fine, I usually hide somewhere quiet during these parties. Yeonjun is the extravert among us. But he’s with Beomgyu right now.”
Taehyun gave him a quizzical look. Beomgyu and Yeonjun must have been hanging out for at least an hour already. And everyone was being extremely ominous about it. Just what were they doing that made even Soobin, Yeonjun’s boyfriend, step out.
Soobin laughed good-naturedly. “Don’t ask, it’s... let’s just say it would take too long to explain.”
“If you say so...” Taehyun shrugged. It’s not like it was his business.
“Where’s Kai?”
Taehyun looked over his shoulder. “Lost him again...”
“Oh, well I hope he doesn’t overdo it tonight,” Soobin said, biting his lip in thought.
“Does he overdo it a lot?” Taehyun asked, concerned. Maybe he should have made his presence known earlier. Kai had already seemed slightly tipsy during his conversation with TJ.
“No, you couldn’t really say that, I guess. I just feel a bit more at ease when he’s got somebody looking out for him. I think I should probably...”
“It’s fine, I’ll go look for him. It’s your boyfriend’s party. You shouldn’t have to babysit.”
Soobin chuckled. “Okay, if you’re sure. I think I might look at what Beomgyu and Yeonjun are up to.”
“Have fun,” Taehyun told him, earning himself a conspiratorial wink.
When Soobin was gone, Taehyun subjected himself to looking for Kai once more. Soobin had seemed worried about him and Taehyun wondered if it had anything to do with TJ and his charming personality. Taehyun couldn’t help but feel bitter towards the guy. From the way he had spoken to Kai, that guy seemed like a walking red flag and a huge part of Taehyun hoped he would stay far away from him.
Taehyun thought that finding Kai would be impossible – what if he’d gone home?
But as it turned out, Kai had chosen to retreat to the kitchen this time around. With a sigh of relief, Taehyun stalked up to him as he was downing the contents of a red solo cup. When he set the cup down, he was swaying on his feet, his eyes unfocused.
“Oh boy,” Taehyun mumbled under his breath. “Kai...”
“Oh, Tyun!” Kai slurred. He was clinging to the countertop, clearly struggling to stay upright.
“Okay, how about I take you home?” Taehyun offered, coming up to Kai’s side in case he had to stop him from crashing to the floor.
Kai answered by practically flinging himself into Taehyun’s arms. He rested heavily against him, planting his head on his shoulder. Taehyun couldn’t help but be concerned about Kai being so out of it so shortly after he had last seen him.
For now, though, he focused on getting Kai out of the house. He felt slightly regretful about not being able to greet Yeonjun and at least thank him for the invite, but he would just have to make up for that another time.
“Kai, can you tell me where to drop you off?”
Kai’s head was lolling around on his shoulder, his eyes barely open. “You’re so comfy...”
“Thanks, but I’m going to need your address...”
“Dunno...” Kai slurred tiredly. Taehyun was grateful for his frequent gym visits back home, otherwise, he was certain he would have had trouble holding Kai up. He basically hung off him like a drunk sack of potatoes. Maybe it was time to find a permanent gym here too.
“Good god... alright, I’ll take you to mine.”
Taehyun made quick work of flagging down a cab, all while Kai rested against him, cheek squished against Taehyun’s shoulder. That didn’t change once they got into the backseat. The driver didn’t spare them a second glance after Taehyun had given him his address, which he was grateful for.
“‘M so glad to have you back in my life...” Kai slurred, nuzzling his face into the crook of Taehyun’s neck, “I really missed you like crazy... felt like a part of me was missing. And now you’re here.”
Taehyun’s face burned at Kai’s words. This was nothing but drunk rambling, he told himself. Kai had just ended things with that TJ guy earlier and was emotional and upset. There was no way, his words held the romantic weight Taehyun was trying so hard not to hope for.
Regardless, he couldn’t deny the way his heart fluttered in his chest as Kai cuddled up to him with a content sigh.
It took quite a lot of maneuvering, but eventually, Taehyun managed to get Kai through his front door and into his bed, where he immediately fell asleep. Taehyun slid Kai’s shoes off his feet and placed them next to the bed. Then he went on to fetch a glass of water and an aspirin, both of which he set down on the nightstand should Kai need it in the morning.
Finally, Taehyun got ready to go to sleep as well. He was lucky his couch was so comfortable, as he had no desire to sleep on the floor. And while the bed was technically big enough for the two of them and then some, it didn’t feel right to cross that boundary.
He threw one more glance over at his dimmed room and Kai’s sleeping form before he curled up on his couch, trying not to let his worry for his best friend eat at him.
***
Taehyun woke when he heard stirring, followed by a worn-out groan. The living room and bedroom were adjacent, merely separated by a doorless frame. Taehyun saw Kai sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes and looking around in mild confusion.
“Morning,” Taehyun greeted him, sitting up cross-legged on the couch.
Kai groaned again. “Morning, I’m so sorry...”
Taehyun waved off. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I don’t usually get this wasted...” Kai looked sheepish and embarrassed as he swung his legs off the mattress. It was relatively low, so he stretched out his legs and made his spine crack a few times.
“No judgment here,” Taehyun said. “Your argument with that guy seemed pretty intense.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but his brain-to-mouth filter was still a little bit sleepy.
Kai’s head snapped in his direction, eyes widening for a moment before he let out yet another groan, the sudden movement probably painful.
“Oh, that...” he said, holding his temples.
“Nightstand...” Taehyun pointed out.
Kai looked at where Taehyun was pointing and sighed in relief when he spotted the water and the painkiller. “Thanks.” He took the pill, then downed the contents of the glass.
“Are you alright? You seemed pretty upset last night,” Taehyun asked, unable to hide his concern any longer.
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Kai told him nonchalantly. He got up and trotted over to the couch, sitting next to Taehyun. “I called things off with that guy a while ago but then my dumbass went and slept with him again, so now he thinks we’re back on.” Kai buried his face in his hands and sighed heavily.
“I see...” Taehyun said, swallowing down a comment about his observations of TJ’s behavior.
“Sorry, you don’t need to hear about that first thing in the morning,” Kai apologized, looking back at Taehyun, who gave him a reassuring smile.
“It’s fine, really. I missed out on a lot, but you can still tell me anything.”
Kai’s eyes widened slightly at Taehyun’s words. “I said a lot of dumb shit last night, didn’t I?”
“I really missed you like crazy... felt like a part of me was missing.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Taehyun told him again. Kai still looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him hole, so Taehyun quickly switched subjects. “Would you like some coffee? I can’t offer high-quality vanilla latte, but mine is not bad, if I do say so myself.”
“I’d kill for coffee right now...”
“No need,” Taehyun said, laughing as he got up.
“You remembered my order,” Kai pointed out with a grin, following him into the kitchen. Taehyun flushed but he, too, was spared from further embarrassment when Kai continued speaking: “You have a really nice place, by the way.”
“It’s not mine,” Taehyun replied, “I’m basically house-sitting for a friend of my mother’s. I got lucky.”
“Damn, you sure did. The view is amazing, too,” Kai said, glancing out of the large windows while Taehyun got started on the coffee.
“I can lend you some clothes if you don’t wanna stay in that, by the way,” Taehyun pointed out once they had settled back on the couch with their mugs. He saw Kai shifting, trying not to glance at the slivers of exposed chest from where the blouse had come undone.
“Thanks, that would be great, actually,” Kai said with a smile. “I love dressing up, but at some point, most clothes become a bit unbearable. Yeonjun says it’s the price to pay for fashion.”
Taehyun chuckled. “I know what you mean...”
After they finished their coffee, Taehyun went looking for some spare clothes. Sweatpants were pretty easy to find, but Taehyun wasn’t sure about shirts. Kai was taller than him, his shoulders were wider. He settled for something oversized and hoped Kai’s shoulders would have mercy on his soul.
“Feel free to use the shower and anything you need,” Taehyun said as he handed Kai the stack of clothes.
Kai grinned brightly. “Thanks, Tyun!”
Taehyun used the time Kai spent in the shower to clean up a bit. He made his bed and folded the blanket on his couch before he rinsed out their coffee mugs in the sink.
Kai emerged from the shower about 15 minutes later with damp hair and dressed in Taehyun’s clothes. Taehyun scolded himself for checking him out and hoped he was at least subtle about it.
He couldn’t be thirsting over Kai!
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Taehyun suggested, in order to divert from his own thoughts.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stick around?”
Taehyun furrowed his brows. “Of course. You can stay for as long as you like.”
Kai seemed relieved to hear that. Taehyun understood the fear of overstaying your welcome, but this was Kai. As kids they would spend whole weekends together, watching one movie after the next, playing video games, and eating unhealthy amounts of snacks. Spending quality time with Kai was one of the things Taehyun had missed the most over the past seven years.
Taehyun opened his streaming site and was immediately greeted by the sight of a featured movie he’d been meaning to watch. “Have you seen that one yet?”
Kai’s eyes lit up. “Not yet! Nobody wanted to watch it with me, so I held out.”
“Then let’s,” Taehyun said cheerfully, flopping down on the couch. Kai followed suit, albeit a little more gracefully. Taehyun streamed the movie onto the TV and got comfortable only to bemoan their lack of snacks 10 minutes into the movie. He paused and shuffled to the kitchen to fix the issue immediately.
“Still a popcorn addict, I see,” Kai pointed out when Taehyun returned with a huge bowl in his hands.
“Absolutely, there is no better movie snack. I don’t stray from my favorites,” Taehyun retorted, grinning. He settled back on the couch and placed the bowl of popcorn between himself and Kai before pressing play again.
***
The popcorn bowl was empty and takeout boxes were scattered across the table by the time the credits rolled on the third movie.
Kai stretched his limbs with a satisfied groan. “I forgot how much I loved this movie. In hindsight, I should have had my journey of self-discovery a lot earlier, given how I mostly rewatched it because I thought Chris Hemsworth was super hot.”
Taehyun grinned. It was the exact same reason, he had rewatched this movie countless times as well. Aside from the good plot of course.
“How did you end up figuring it out?”
“That I was bi? Um, I don’t know, I just kinda dated a guy in my junior year of high school and was like ‘hm, I like this!’ But I knew I also still liked girls. Dated a few of them too... and I just kinda accepted it for what it was.”
“What did your parents say?” Taehyun questioned timidly.
He only had fond memories of Kai’s family. His father traveled a lot for work but still made sure to spend as much time with his kids as possible. Kai’s mother was one of the warmest people he had ever met, and his sisters had always been nice to Taehyun and chill to hang out with. He remembered holding ridiculously serious conversations about sports with Lea while Hiyyih had always appreciated his suggestions and recommendations for graphic novels.
“I came out at 17, I think,” Kai replied, resting his cheek on the backrest, half-facing Taehyun. “I was terrified to death. I remember waiting anxiously for my dad to come back from a work trip and then gathering everyone in the living room. Turns out, I worried for nothing because everyone was super chill about it. Hiyyih actually told me later that it made it easier for her to come out because she knew the response would be positive. And it was.”
Taehyun smiled at his words, glad that Kai’s family was still as open and warm as he remembered them. “That’s great.”
Kai nodded before he looked at Taehyun. “When did you tell your mom?”
“A few weeks after I told you.” He chose to omit the fact that his coming out was somewhat prompted by the loneliness he had felt after Kai had moved away. “To be honest, she couldn’t really understand it at first. But she tried, and eventually, we had a long talk and she told me she loved and accepted me for who I was.”
“I’m glad,” Kai earnestly.
Taehyun remembered how scared he had been even telling Kai. He recalled Kai’s reassurance and comforting words. He was confident about his sexuality now, and he felt like that first positive response played a huge part in that.
“Did you, um... did you ever hear from your father again?” Kai asked, his tone careful.
Taehyun bit his lip. “He’s dead.” Kai looked surprised. “I looked him up after I moved out from home. Not because I wanted to reach out, but because I was curious, I guess. He went to prison and died there.”
“Wow...”
“Yeah... it’s probably a horrible thing to say, but I’m kind of relieved. I spent a few years fearing he might come back one day to hurt my mom again. I’m glad he can’t...”
Kai put a hand on his shoulder, the touch as comforting as always. “It’s completely understandable. He was a scumbag.”
Taehyun laughed bitterly. “That he was.”
Kai’s phone buzzed in the other room, breaking the tension. He had left it on Taehyun’s nightstand earlier. With a groan, Kai rose to retrieve the device.
“It’s Beomgyu. He just got home and wants to make sure I’m not dead,” he said, his eyes flitting over his roommate’s message.
Taehyun raised his brows, thinking back to how Beomgyu had mysteriously disappeared to be with Yeonjun and had only resurfaced now? It wasn’t his business, though, so he kept his mouth shut.
“I should probably head home,” Kai pointed out. “Today was fun though.”
“Yeah, it was. We should do this again,” Taehyun agreed.
“Definitely... though maybe without the horrible decision-making on my part beforehand.”
“Don’t beat yourself up,” Taehyun said, also getting up.
“Sorry, I’m not usually such a hot mess.”
“Kai, seriously. It’s fine, I’m not judging you. But, like, you’re okay, right?” Taehyun asked, his earlier concern once again resurfacing.
Kai nodded quickly. “I’m fine, really. Just embarrassed you saw all of that...”
“I shouldn’t have...” Taehyun admitted. “I was concerned, though.”
Kai smiled at him and stepped closer. “It’s alright. I promise I’m fine and done with that guy.”
Taehyun looked up at him and promptly pulled him in for a hug. Kai seemed a little surprised but returned the hug immediately.
Taehyun didn’t even know what had come over him; his feelings for Kai – because, yeah, those were definitely growing – or an overwhelming need to protect him.
“Let’s do something again soon, alright?” Kai muttered, still wrapped up in their hug.
“Sure,” Taehyun replied. He had to talk himself into pulling away before it got weird.
“Beomgyu wanted to do a movie night-slash-barbeque thing soon. You should come,” Kai told him with a smile. Taehyun wanted to decline by saying he didn't want to impose, but a bigger part of him knew Kai would reassure him. Plus, Beomgyu was pretty chill and Taehyun wouldn’t mind hanging out with him more.
“Just text me when and where.”
Kai grinned. “Will do. Thanks for taking care of me.”
“Any time.”
Kai left after another brief hug and Taehyun stayed back, sitting back down on the couch for a while before he cleaned up their mess and resigned himself to studying.
It was a nice distraction from his hopeless crush, though he wasn’t sure it was a permanent solution.
***
Beomgyu’s movie night happened the following weekend. Taehyun even got a personal invitation from the man himself when he spent his Thursday lunch break with him and Kai.
“Who’s going to be there?” Taehyun questioned.
“Well, Kai,” Beomgyu gestured at Kai who was busy slurping up a big bite of ramen, “Soobin, Yeonjun, and yours truly. Inner circle only,” he said with a sly wink.
“Since when do I belong to the inner circle?” Taehyun asked, shooting Kai a confused look that was only met with a cheerful grin.
“Since I declared you great enough to join our ranks,” Beomgyu said matter-of-factly. Taehyun couldn’t exactly argue with that if he wanted to.
“So, you in?” Kai asked hopefully.
“Sure, how could I reject an invitation to the inner circle,” Taehyun retorted and nudged Kai’s shoulder.
So, here he was a few days later, in front of Kai’s and Beomgyu’s door. He was dressed a lot more casually than for Yeonjun’s party, merely in a pink hoodie and blue jeans. Kai opened the door after he knocked and pulled Taehyun in for a one-armed hug before leading him inside.
“Want a beer?” Kai offered. Taehyun nodded and Kai promptly pressed a bottle into his hand before taking a sip from his own. “The others are out on the fire escape, Soobin is our self-proclaimed grill master.”
“With the apron and everything?”
“You bet,” Kai said with a wide grin. “Yeonjun even got him one that says ‘Kiss the Cook.’”
Taehyun raised his brow. “Wow that’s...”
“Incredibly cheesy, I know,” Kai chuckled.
Taehyun chimed in as he followed Kai through the apartment. “I was gonna say sweet, but cheesy works too.”
Kai’s and Beomgyu’s place looked like a typical college student apartment. Not messy, per se, but also not tidy. It seemed comfortable, though. Very homey. Taehyun noticed a few plushies on the couch and glanced at Kai. He wondered if they were his, as Kai used to have quite the collection.
“Guys, look who I brought,” Kai announced, poking his head through the open window where three figures were huddled together. The fire escape was more spacious than Taehyun would have expected from the size of the apartment, but Yeonjun and Beomgyu had still decided to huddle up around Soobin in front of the grill.
“Hey, you made it!” Yeonjun exclaimed as Kai and Taehyun climbed outside to join them.
“Yeah, hi. Sorry we didn’t see each other at your party,” Taehyun apologized.
Yeonjun grinned and waved off. “It’s okay, it was pretty packed. Plus, I heard this one gave you a hard time.” Yeonjun pulled Kai into headlock and ruffled his dark locks.
“It’s fine,” Taehyun told him.
“Maybe that’ll teach him not to get so shitfaced again!” Soobin said, still focused on the meat.
“Alright already, can we stop talking about me and my bad decisions please?” Kai complained and wrestled himself free from Yeonjun’s grip.
“Not quite yet, why was that guy at Junie’s party anyway?” Beomgyu asked, lifting his head from where it had been resting on Soobin’s shoulder. How Soobin could be flipping meat with two fully grown men practically hanging off him remained a mystery to Taehyun, but he seemed utterly used to it.
Kai rolled his eyes. “I don’t know.”
Taehyun didn’t know if he was imagining it, but Kai genuinely seemed fidgety, not looking at any of them. He had been reluctant to go into much detail back at Taehyun’s the other day as well. Taehyun wasn’t sure how much the others knew about Kai’s apparently pretty messy past relationship, but he certainly didn’t want to talk about it right now.
“That actually smells amazing, I’m starving,” Taehyun said.
Soobin’s inner mom friend seemed to be activated instantly. “Oh, we can’t have that!” He shook off his two clingy friends – Boyfriends? Whatever – and grabbed a paper plate. “Here, this one’s ready. There’s bread, salad, and ramen in the kitchen. Kai, come get a plate as well!”
Kai shot Taehyun a grateful glance before he let Soobin pile his plate as well. They made their way back inside, careful to balance their plates as they climbed through the window. Beomgyu wasn’t far behind and soon they were all scattered across the living room, enjoying their meal.
Soobin really was a grill master.
“Why did you limit yourself to a café when you’re literally good at everything?” Taehyun said, munching on his steak.
Soobin laughed shyly, but Yeonjun answered for him. “Because he’s too humble, that’s why. I told him to open a restaurant, people would love his food. But he felt safer with coffee.”
“I mean, you certainly weren’t wrong about the coffee either,” Taehyun told him.
“He has lots of talents, our Soobin,” Beomgyu chimed in. “Stick with him and you’ll never go hungry again!”
Taehyun looked back at him. Kai made a soft “uh-oh” sound under his breath, but he paid him no mind. “Did you just quote The Lion King?”
“Here we go,” Kai muttered.
Beomgyu grinned cheekily. “Sure did.”
“You do realize that you’re obligated to watch it with me now, right?”
Beomgyu snorted and fished his phone from his pocket. “Say no more! Pulling up my streaming account as we speak!”
“You mean my streaming account,” Soobin grumbled.
Beomgyu leaned over to press an unceremonious, wet kiss onto Soobin’s cheek before refocusing on his phone.
“Guys, I’ve seen this movie so many times I can quote it in my sleep,” Yeonjun complained.
“And?” Beomgyu and Taehyun said simultaneously.
“Good lord,” Yeonjun whined. “Now there’s two of them...”
“Please, imagine being best friends with this one growing up and having to watch that movie countless times,” Kai said, pointing at Taehyun, who only swelled his chest proudly, “only to move in with this guy and having to watch it a million times more!” Kai shifted his pointer finger to Beomgyu, who blew him a kiss.
“Fine, I’m willing to compromise,” Beomgyu said, setting his phone down in his lap before looking into the round, “The Lion King 2?”
Three groans echoed through the room.
“Can’t we just watch something we can’t quote word-for-word?” Soobin asked.
“So Avengers is out of the question too, huh babe?” Beomgyu teased, making Soobin pout.
“Okay, suggestion,” Yeonjun spoke up, “we each come up with two movies we wanna see and put them in a picker wheel. Whichever movie gets chosen, we watch. No complaints, no crying, no pouting. We got all night, and we can watch more than one!”
“Sounds good. Very wise. As expected from a man your age,” Beomgyu said teasingly.
“I ought to...” Yeonjun trailed off, practically jumping over Soobin to tackle a screaming and cackling Beomgyu to the couch. “Two years! I’m older by two years! Less if you do the math!”
“Whatever, gramps!” Beomgyu retorted through his boisterous laughs.
Soobin simply watched them, shaking his head with a fond smile on his face.
Kai clapped his hands once. “Alright, as long as you’re busy with your foreplay or whatever, Tyun and I will get the snacks ready.”
“Fore– watch it, Huening, or you’re next!” Yeonjun glared at him, still perched on top of Beomgyu.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Kai shot back with a cheeky wink and pulled Taehyun to his feet, leading him to the kitchen.
Taehyun was still quite stunned by what had just gone down, so he didn’t even properly register the fact that somebody had bought his favorite brand of microwave popcorn.
“You okay?” Kai asked. His brows furrowed when he observed Taehyun’s face. “You don’t, like, have a problem with them, right?”
“No! Oh my god, no! Sorry, I was just surprised is all,” Taehyun explained quickly. “You said Yeonjun and Soobin were a thing... I guess I picked up on it a little but...”
Obviously, he didn’t mind. On the contrary, they seemed really cute together. He remembered Yeonjun and Beomgyu huddled next to Soobin earlier. And he was no stranger to polyamory. In hindsight, it probably should have clicked sooner.
“Oh yeah, they’re only open about it with people they feel comfortable around,” Kai explained, unceremoniously throwing the popcorn into the microwave.
Taehyun was honored that ‘people they felt comfortable around’ seemed to include him.
“It was messy and complicated for a while, but now they’ve got it all sorted out. They’re happy,” Kai said. “Though I’m really glad that you’re here because sometimes it’s a bit much being the only single person in the group. Especially, if the rest of the group is dating each other.”
Taehyun chuckled. Given what he had just witnessed, he had no trouble believing that.
“You are single, right? I’m just out here assuming...”
The microwave dinged, signaling that their popcorn was ready. “Smooth, Kai,” Taehyun said, squeezing past him and opening the microwave door. He got out the popcorn and filled it into the bowl Kai handed him. He looked at Taehyun expectantly. “I am single. Have been for the past year or so.”
“Sorry to hear that?”
“Are you?” Taehyun asked with a grin. Even with the bowl of popcorn between them, they stood close to each other in the small kitchen. Kai wore a smirk on his face that made Taehyun think he wasn’t all that sorry after all. He didn’t dare think about what that might mean, though.
Should he be getting his hopes up like this?
“Guys, if you don’t come through with your movie suggestions and the snacks, I’m taking the watch party to my bedroom,” Beomgyu shouted.
“You don’t have to make it sound so saucy,” Soobin complained a pout audible in his voice.
“What’s saucy about a watch party? I think you need to get your mind out of the gutter, babe.”
“Okay, we should go back before Beomgyu gets pinned down again,” Kai suggested, chuckling.
“Wow...” Taehyun huffed out a laugh before they rejoined the others in the living room.
“What took you so long?” Beomgyu asked. Somehow, he was now the one sprawled across his boyfriends’ laps. “Were you too busy gazing into each other’s eyes?”
“Gyu, leave them be,” Soobin scolded him. Although Taehyun had to say that the effect was a bit lost due to the way he was carding his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair with a fond expression.
“Can we just get started?” Kai asked. He let himself fall onto the pile of pillows and blankets on the floor in front of the couch since the others were hogging the entire couch.
Taehyun took a seat next to him. Kai passed the popcorn bowl over his head to Yeonjun. Beomgyu gave him his phone to complete the picker wheel.
“Which one of you put apocalyptic bullshit in there?” Kai complained.
“Who do you think?” Soobin said dryly.
“Hey, don’t be mean,” Yeonjun complained.
Taehyun accepted the phone from Kai and typed in his own suggestions.
“You do the honors, Tyun,” Kai told him when he was done and about to hand the phone back to its owner. Beomgyu nodded in agreement.
“Alright,” Taehyun said. He pressed the spin button and they all waited, anticipated, as the wheel spun. When it landed on its choice, Taehyun snorted.
He held the phone up for everyone to see and much like earlier, three groans sounded through the living room as Beomgyu and Taehyun high-fived.
“You guys better be prepared!”
***
After The Lion King, “apocalyptic bullshit” and Avengers: Infinity War, Yeonjun, Soobin, and Beomgyu were fast asleep on the couch.
“If only he slept this soundly every night,” Kai muttered with a fond shake of his head. “But nope, it takes two boyfriends and three movies.”
“Can’t blame him, though. That looks pretty comfy,” Taehyun said, glancing at Beomgyu, snuggled between Soobin and Yeonjun, each with their arms wrapped around him. How they all managed to fit on the couch and make it comfortable, Taehyun didn’t know.
“Want in? I’m sure they’d take you,” Kai joked.
“Yeah right,” Taehyun chuckled. He stretched and yawned. Kai’s yawn followed two seconds later. “I should head out.”
“It’s pretty late. You can stay, if you like,” Kai told him. “This pile is pretty comfortable, isn’t it?”
Taehyun nodded. Considering they were on the floor; Taehyun really did feel quite content down here. “Let’s make it a sleepover then,” he agreed and snuggled further into the soft pile.
“They all love you,” Kai told him after turning off the TV. “I mean, they’re a really welcoming bunch but they warmed up to you so fast.
Taehyun blushed; he was more than grateful for the dark. Kai was clutching one of his couch plushies to his chest, its white fur practically the only thing visible in the darkness of the room.
“You probably went around advocating for me,” he said knowingly.
“I did,” Kai admitted. “Still, it’s nice to see all of you click. Though I could do without your Lion King alliance with Beomgyu.”
“It’s a classic!” Taehyun argued, albeit grinning. “But I really like them too. I thought I’d be alone all year; make acquaintances at best.”
“As long as I’m around you won’t be alone,” Kai said reassuringly. His safe place. “Good night, Tyun.”
“Night, Kai.”
***
Taehyun woke up to a faceful of chest, the sound of a camera shutter, and hysterical giggling. The smell of bacon wafted through the air. Taehyun was willing to tune out the noise and snuggled further into the broad yet somehow pillowy soft chest.
“Someone’s comfortable.”
That was unmistakably Beomgyu.
Taehyun opened his eyes to see what all the commotion was about and promptly blushed. He had underestimated Kai’s need to cuddle something at night and found himself with his face squished between Kai’s pecs.
“Morning, sunshine,” came Yeonjun’s teasing voice from the couch. His grin matched Beomgyu’s, who sat next to him, both with bedheads and swollen faces, but smug to no end.
Kai’s arms were wrapped around Taehyun’s waist, but they fell off him without a problem when Taehyun sat up.
“What time is it?” He rubbed his eyes groggily.
“Close to 11,” Yeonjun provided. “Soobin’s making breakfast right now.”
Beomgyu turned his phone screen with a proud smile on his face. Taehyun’s blush only deepened. Beomgyu had snapped a picture of him and Kai, cuddled up together; Kai’s arms snugly around his waist, Taehyun’s fist curled into the front of Kai’s shirt, their faces serene with sleep.
“Lock screen material, don’t you think? Already sent it to both of you.”
“We used to do this all the time,” Taehyun said shyly. “No big deal.”
“Did you blush about it back then too?” Beomgyu teased.
Before Taehyun could retort that “no because back then there used to be no audience,” Kai stirred.
“Who’s blushing?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep.
“Check your phone,” was all Beomgyu said, still grinning. He leaned into Yeonjun’s side, who promptly wrapped an arm around his middle and rested his head on his shoulder.
Kai groaned groggily. “Maybe once I can open my eyes. It’s too early for this shit.”
Yeonjun snorted. “My friend, we are rapidly approaching noon. Get your ass up, before Soobin makes you.”
Kai’s eyes fluttered open. “I don’t know if you know this, Jun, but your boyfriend is the most unthreatening person I know.”
“Breakfast is ready!” Soobin called over.
“Yes, mother!” Kai immediately jumped to his feet and zoomed to the kitchen to help Soobin.
Yeonjun smiled, clearly satisfied with himself. “One day he will learn that Soobin doesn’t need threats. The promise of food is enough.”
Taehyun laughed, slowly feeling the tiredness leaving his body amidst their shenanigans.
***
Taehyun got home late that afternoon, eager for a shower but happy to no end. It was always weird for him, the thought of ‘wow, I made friends.’ But with this group, it all just kind of clicked into place.
He texted his mother that he would call her tonight and spent the rest of his day studying. His phone dinged with messages from the group chat he had been added to a few hours prior, but he didn’t check them right away.
By the time he got ready for bed and ready to call his mother, he remembered the messages in the chat. It was mainly them sending each other memes and cracking dick jokes, but Taehyun chuckled fondly.
He searched for his mom’s contact and pressed the call button. She picked up after a few rings. “Hi darling, how are you?”
“I’m good, mom. Sorry I haven’t called in a few days,” he apologized sheepishly.
“Don’t be silly. You’re in a new country, making new friends. How can I expect you to call me every day?” she chuckled. “How is Kai? Have you been spending more time together?”
Taehyun would be embarrassed at how quickly the smile took over his face, if his mother could see him. “Yeah, we have. I also got to know his friends, they’re all really nice.”
“Oh, that’s such a relief. I’m glad you have people there,” his mother replied. “And your studies?”
“All good, it’s a lot of work, but it’s fun,” Taehyun told her truthfully. Although he had to admit that he spent most of his last Sociology lecture chatting away with Kai in the back row.
“Good, I’m glad.”
“What about you, mom? How have you been?” Taehyun asked, as he sat down on his bed and got comfortable against the headboard. She began chatting away about everything that was new in the neighborhood and her job, how her boss pissed her off, and how the man running the convenience store down the street had asked her to go bowling with him.
“Mom,” Taehyun exclaimed, grinning, “that’s a date!”
She spluttered. “What? No, it isn’t! He said his bowling club will be there too!”
“Mom, come on. Every time I went to that store these past few months, he asked me about you. He’s nice, you should go for it.”
“At my old age...” she trailed off.
Taehyun snorted. She was only in her mid-forties, and she had missed out on enough of life raising her only son by herself. Mr. Shim seemed genuinely nice and interested in her and after the screw-up that was Taehyun’s father all those years ago, his mother deserved someone who would treat her right.
“Why don’t you give it a shot, mom? You might be surprised. And even if you don’t end up liking him like that, maybe you’ll have made a friend,” Taehyun reasoned with her.
She sighed. “When did my son turn into such an emotionally mature person? I must have done something right.”
“You did everything right,” Taehyun said with a chuckle. “Text him. Or ‘facebook’ him, or whatever it is you old people do.”
“You little–” she cut herself off, laughing. “What should I do with you...”
Taehyun only grinned. If he had been present, she would have ruffled his hair before nudging his shoulder.
“Oh, my lunch break is ending soon, I have to go,” she told him, sounding regretful. “Let’s talk again soon, alright?”
“Alright, mom, take care,” Taehyun replied.
“You too. Love you.”
“Love you too, bye!”
She hung up and Taehyun shifted in his bed. He really did miss her, but he also knew that if he was there, she would never even consider telling him about Mr. Shim’s invitation. She had restricted herself a lot to put him first over the years. He had noticed, although she had tried her best to hide it. He hoped it would work out for her.
She deserved to finally be happy.
***
September went, and October quickly bled into November with a rambunctious Halloween party, courtesy of Yeonjun. Afterwards, the uni workload seemed to increase tenfold. Taehyun was practically buried in work for a whole week, though he had started to go to Soobin’s café to study. It was quiet and chill, and Soobin provided him with frequent free refills.
Kai showed up a few times to study with him, but he looked significantly more stressed each time Taehyun saw him. Every question of “are you okay” was waved off with a tired smile and a large sip of coffee. It did nothing to quell Taehyun’s worry.
“I’m gonna go out after this week of hell is over,” Kai said, resting his head on top of his books. “You wanna come with?”
“Ah, no, I don’t think so. I need sleep, lots of it. And you look like you could do with some rest too, Kai...” Taehyun trailed off.
Kai looked up and rubbed his tired eyes. “I’m good. A nice party is exactly what I need.”
“I think you should listen to Taehyun, actually,” Soobin spoke up. He had just come up to their table with their refills. “You look like hell.”
“Gee, thanks,” Kai complained with a little pout.
Taehyun wanted to keep trying, but he didn’t want Kai to get mad. If he felt like he needed to party, who was Taehyun to stop him.
“Just...” he spoke up again, “don’t overdo it?”
Kai nodded. “I promise.”
***
Taehyun spent that Saturday wishing he had agreed to come along.
Kai hadn’t specified where exactly he would be going to party, and all of Taehyun’s messages remained unread and unanswered. With how worn out Kai had looked previously, and Soobin’s worry about him ‘overdoing it’ a few weeks ago, Taehyun had a hard time finding peace that evening.
“Don’t worry about him,” Yeonjun told him over the phone when Taehyun had finally resigned to calling their friends. “He’ll call if he gets too wasted and we’ll be right there to pick him up.”
“Soobin said he feels better when he’s got somebody looking out for him,” Taehyun recalled.
“I know. But Soobin’s an old worrywart. Kai’s a big boy, Taehyun. He’ll be alright, I promise. Do you want to hang out at ours to get your mind off it?”
“No, thanks... I think I’ll just head to bed early,” Taehyun declined, sighing. “Can you guys text me if you end up picking him up?”
“Sure thing,” Yeonjun assured him. “Try not to worry too much.”
Taehyun wasn’t sure how he could do that, but he hummed some kind of agreement to Yeonjun before hanging up.
Obviously, he wouldn’t be able to sleep now if he tried, so he just sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Not that he was paying attention to anything as he was busy checking his phone every two minutes.
***
Taehyun was startled awake by a frantic knock on his door.
He hadn’t meant to doze off, and he promptly checked his phone for the time. 3 AM. No messages.
Taehyun groggily got to his feet and stumbled towards the door. He looked through the spyhole and gasped. Kai was outside of his door, swaying on his feet. Taehyun all but ripped the door open.
Kai looked like a complete mess. His hair was ruffled, his makeup smudged like he had been crying. It also didn’t take a genius to see that he was drunk. It wasn’t as bad as last time, seeing as he managed to stand on his own two feet and had remembered Taehyun’s address.
“Hey...” Kai said, his voice uncharacteristically small.
“Hey, come in,” Taehyun ushered him inside and promptly sat him down on the couch. “Are you okay?”
“Aside from the fact that I’m an idiot?” Kai said, fresh tears welling up in his eyes. Taehyun sat down next to him and threw an arm around his shoulders. Kai instantly melted into his embrace as he let out a gut-wrenching sob. “I should have listened to you...”
Taehyun dreaded the answer, but he still asked: “What happened?”
“TJ was there...” Kai trailed off. Taehyun sighed and gently squeezed his shoulder. “I don’t know why it keeps happening...”
Taehyun didn’t have to ask what it was; the blooming hickeys on Kai’s neck and what he could see of his chest already gave him the answer he needed.
Kai let out a choked sob. It broke Taehyun's heart to see him like this, but he remained where he was, gently stroking Kai's arm as he let him cry it out.
“I feel so fucking dumb...” Kai slurred, mindlessly wiping his tears with his sleeve.
“Kai... you're not dumb. You’re drunk, let’s get you cleaned up and into bed, alright?” Taehyun said calmly. His best friend’s sobs had subsided a little by now, but the tears were still freely streaming down his face. Kai nodded but didn’t move an inch from where he was glued to his side.
“Alright...” Taehyun trailed off and gently pried Kai off him to get up.
“Don’t leave me,” Kai whined, reaching out to hold on to Taehyun’s fingers before he was out of his reach.
Taehyun ruffled his hair. “I’ll be right back. We can’t leave your makeup on all night.”
Kai sniffled but let go of his hand, sinking back against the couch. Taehyun quickly headed to the bathroom to retrieve makeup wipes and some moisturizer before rejoining Kai in the living room.
He had mostly stopped crying, and let Taehyun pull him into a proper seating position. He tried to wipe Kai’s makeup off as gently as possible.
“This isn’t really helping my case of not being a hot mess, is it?” Kai said with a bitter chuckle.
“Still not going to judge,” Taehyun told him earnestly.
“That’s why I came here... you never judge me,” Kai mumbled, still slurring his words, though not as badly as before. “Like, I love Beomgyu, and I know he doesn’t mean to, but he never hides his judgment when I tell him about these... slip-ups.”
Taehyun uncapped the bottle of moisturizer and spread some on Kai’s face, making Kai laugh quietly when he squished his cheeks in the process. It didn’t stick, though, as Kai’s expression soon turned solemn again.
“I don’t even love this guy. Hell, I’m not sure I ever even genuinely liked him. He just takes advantage of the fact that I react to stress by coping with sex.”
“Then that’s on him, not you,” Taehyun told him.
“But I keep agreeing. And as much as I hate to admit it, he’s not exactly bad in bed...” Kai said with a pout.
Taehyun looked at him, unfazed by the unsolicited information. “How many drinks does it usually take until you agree to sleeping with him?” Kai averted his gaze, making Taehyun drop his hands from his face. “This isn’t on you. I’ve seen this guy once and I could tell from afar that he was a walking red flag.”
“I know...” Kai trailed off.
Taehyun reached out to brush his thumb over Kai’s cheek again. Kai leaned into the touch. “Come on, I’ll get you some water, and then let’s get you to bed?”
Kai nodded quietly and Taehyun got up once again to fetch Kai a bottle of water. He made him drink at least half of it before he helped him to his feet and led him over to his bed.
Kai got comfortable in his pillows and promptly hugged one of them to his chest. Taehyun smiled fondly and ruffled his hair once again, though just as he was about to head over to the couch, Kai reached out to hold him back.
“Can you sleep in here with me? I don’t want to be alone...”
Taehyun’s surprise only lasted for a second. This was fine, they were close, they had done this before. Even though that was years ago. Still, Kai needed comfort tonight, and he would be damned if he denied him that.
“Sure,” Taehyun said and climbed over him without preamble. His heartbeat faster than was considered normal or acceptable, but if Kai noticed, he didn’t say anything. He simply waited for Taehyun to lie down before turning around and cuddling up to him, quickly replacing the pillow with Taehyun’s body.
Finally, after all the stress and the crying, Taehyun allowed himself to sleep, knowing that Kai was safe right here.
***
“I feel awful for putting you through this again,” Kai apologized the next morning. They were still in Taehyun’s bed, lying next to each other. It was nearing noon, but neither of them felt the desire to get up.
“I’m glad you came here, actually. I was worried about you,” Taehyun told him truthfully. “Do you want to talk about it now? You were really upset...”
“I’m...” Kai trailed off. Taehyun had half-expected him to wave it off with an ‘I’m fine’ again, but with a sigh, he seemed to think better of it. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, opening and closing his mouth a few times, trying to find his words.
“It started about a year ago. TJ and I met at a party and we hooked up.” He grimaced at the memory. “I wasn’t doing too great, and I guess we had fun. It was a nice distraction. We tried dating, but it ended up just being tons of fighting and fucking. The others hate his guts, and, honestly? So do I. He’s an ass. But still, I can’t seem to stop going back for more. It’s embarrassing, pathetic...”
“Kai, come on...” Taehyun mumbled in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. “It’s clearly complicated. Don’t beat yourself up, alright?”
“How can I not?” Kai questioned, pressing his palms into his eyes. “I ended things with him months ago and since then we’ve hooked up like five times! Just... why am I so goddamn–”
“You’re not weak,” Taehyun interrupted him, his voice firm. He wished he could make Kai believe his words. “Kai...” he trailed off, unsure of how to help him. Kai lowered his hands and looked at him, a hint of desperation in his eyes. He had never seen Kai like this before. Not as kids, and not in the short time since they had reunited.
Taehyun opened his arms, wordlessly, resorting to the simplest form of comfort. Kai scooted closer, letting Taehyun wrap his arms around him. He buried his face in the crook of Taehyun’s neck, though his body was still a little too tense.
“You’re not weak, okay?” Taehyun said softly, running his hands through Kai’s hair in the way that used to soothe him when they were young.
“Okay...” Kai muttered. He didn’t sound convinced, but Taehyun felt him relax the slightest bit.
They fell asleep like this again and didn’t wake up until late afternoon. When Taehyun opened his eyes again, Kai was still comfortably snuggled up to him, lips almost grazing Taehyun’s neck, leg thrown over his. Taehyun’s face heated at the proximity but he shifted carefully, adjusting his hold around Kai.
“Tyun?” Kai murmured, stirring awake. He lifted his head and blinked cutely a few times.
“I'm here,” Taehyun said, reaching up to brush Kai's bangs off his forehead. Again, Kai leaned into the touch, content like a kitten. “I’m here.”
***
“Hey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” Kai asked several hours later. They had decided to go out to have an early dinner instead of ordering in again and were now sitting in the back corner of a Chinese restaurant, Taehyun sipping a soda while Kai kept absent-mindedly tracing his finger over the neck of his beer bottle.
Taehyun hadn’t even considered that Thanksgiving was coming up, too focused on the fact that he would fly home for Christmas.
“Nothing, really. I don’t have anything planned,” he responded truthfully.
Kai looked at him, eyes wide. “So you’ll be alone?”
“I mean...” Taehyun shrugged. “It’s no big deal, really. I’ve never really celebrated Thanksgiving anyway.”
Kai pouted and took a sip from his beer. Taehyun sighed dramatically and rested his chin in the palm of his hand, looking at him across the table.
“Fine... I’ll bite. Why, oh dearest Huening Kai, what do you have planned for Thanksgiving?”
Kai snorted at Taehyun’s dramatic tone, but he responded seriously: “I’m going to see my family, obviously.” His eyes lit up and Taehyun knew what he was going to say next. “Why don’t you come with?”
“And intrude on your family time?”
“First of all, you could never intrude! My family loves you, and they all said they’d love to see you again.” Taehyun gaped in surprise. It shouldn’t have been such a shocker to him that Kai had mentioned him to his family. He had done the same with his mom. “Second of all, Thanksgiving is about gratitude and all that. I’m grateful we’re in each other’s lives again and I don’t think I could stand the fact that you’re alone on that day.”
“I mean... your mom does make a mean turkey...”
Kai grinned. “She does, doesn’t she? So you’ll come?”
“If it means so much to you,” Taehyun said, although he couldn’t hide his own smile. If he was being honest, he had missed Kai’s family and had been hoping for an opportunity to see them again. Kai cheered before he remembered where they were.
Taehyun chuckled, endeared by his best friend’s carefreeness.
That same evening, Taehyun got home and called his mother again, right before he got ready for bed. When he told her about Kai’s invitation, she made him promise to greet his parents for her. They used to get along quite well before their move, which was almost a given, considering how their kids had been inseparable.
Something in her tone when she told him how happy she was for him bespoke that she knew more than she let on.
Well, Taehyun guessed, he wasn’t exactly hiding the fact that he had feelings for Kai from her. Regardless, there was no way he could act on them after Kai had opened up about how messy things were with TJ still.
And even if they weren’t... sure, he and Kai had chemistry, he had noticed as much at the barbeque. But from what he had seen, Kai was naturally flirty. What if that was it? A flirtation.
Taehyun was not setting himself up to get his heart broken by his best friend.
Despite that, he was genuinely looking forward to spending time with Kai’s family.
***
“Oh my god,” Beomgyu groaned when he stepped into the living room of his and Kai’s shared apartment the next day, plopping onto the couch where he unceremoniously rested his head in Kai’s lap. “Do you think I could hire a hitman without getting busted for it?”
Kai chortled as Taehyun gave Beomgyu a look. “What happened?”
“I busted my ass for this paper, right? Sacrificed a week’s worth of nights with my boyfriends for a decent grade – all for nothing. My professor said I “misunderstood the assignment” which is complete and utter bullshit,” Beomgyu ranted.
Kai frowned. “Is this the same guy who nearly flunked you for handing your paper in at the literal last minute?”
Beomgyu nodded, reaching for Kai’s beer on the table and taking a generous sip. “He hates me.”
“Why?” Taehyun asked.
“I have no idea. But I have to spend my entire Thanksgiving break redoing the whole thing or he’ll end up flunking me after all,” Beomgyu said as he sat up heavily. “Or I could hire that hitman...”
“Let’s not do that, Gyu. You’re too pretty for orange jumpsuits,” Kai said. Beomgyu made a non-committal noise. “How about I’ll help you research?”
Beomgyu’s face immediately lit up. “Would you?”
“I’ll help too. Maybe that way you won’t have to sacrifice Thanksgiving,” Taehyun threw in.
“I could kiss both of you!” Beomgyu exclaimed, though he ended up settling for enthusiastic hugs.
***
Kai’s phone buzzed for the fifteeth time in the span of six minutes, not that Taehyun was counting. Kai threw a brief glance at the screen but just like with the previous fourteen times, he did nothing about it.
“You got a new man we should know about?” Beomgyu joked, wagging his brows, “Or woman, of course.”
Kai sent him a half-hearted glare before taking a swig from his beer, emptying the bottle. “It’s nothing.”
Taehyun furrowed his brows but refrained from asking. He could tell from Kai’s expression who was texting him.
Beomgyu seemed to have made the same observation as he regarded Kai with a serious expression. “I thought you had that guy blocked.”
“I’m getting another drink. Anybody want anything?” Kai rose from the floor where he had been gathering research for Beomgyu on his laptop.
“I’m good,” Beomgyu said sourly. “Soobin is going to drop off some coffee for us in about half an hour...”
“I’ll take a soda,” Taehyun told him. Kai sent him a little smile before heading to the kitchen.
Soobin showed up half an hour later just after Kai had finished his next drink. Kai gratefully took his vanilla latte to the kitchen with him where he gathered some more snacks now that they had Soobin on board to help Beomgyu too.
Kai had steadily ignored his phone all afternoon, save for a few glances but he seemed distraught, still, finishing his coffee quickly and sluggishly scrolling sites on his laptop.
“You okay?” Taehyun asked quietly when Kai leaned against him. The sun was setting outside and their cups now stood empty on the table.
“Tired...” Kai murmured.
Taehyun frowned but subtly helped Kai to his feet while Beomgyu and Soobin were wrapped up in their own little world, both staring at Beomgyu’s laptop screen while Soobin occasionally distracted him with little nuzzles against his neck and hair.
Kai steered towards his room where Taehyun sat him down on his navy blue sheets.
“Kai, are you drunk?”
“Must’ve been one beer too many. I’m sorry, Tyun...” Kai said, laying back on his mattress. Taehyun refrained from pointing out that he had only had two beers. “I’m just gonna nap for a bit.”
“Kai...” Taehyun trailed off, worried.
Kai snuggled into his sheets. “Don’t tell Gyu, yeah?”
Taehyun stood, keeping his worried gaze on Kai for another minute in which he drifted off to sleep. Ultimately, he headed back to the living room where Beomgyu waited for him with a concerned expression.
“Is he okay? He looked tired.”
Taehyun nodded, unsure how to voice his worries. Beomgyu eyed him for a moment longer before he seemingly accepted it for what it was.
“We should call it a day for now. Soobin’s making dinner right now, if you wanna...”
Taehyun waved off. “I should get home. I’ll just help you tidy up the table area.”
Beomgyu nodded and they got to gathering everything. Taehyun picked Kai’s phone up off the carpet and the screen turned on. He saw the one-sided chat with TJ. He didn’t catch more than the last few messages he’d sent to Kai this afternoon.
TJ 🙄; 4:11 PM
Admit it, last night was fun
I’m still thinking about that thing you did with your tongue
I’m thinking we should repeat this soon
TJ 🙄; 4:23 PM
Come on baby
I know you’re reading these
I miss you and your sweet–
Taehyun turned the phone over in his palm, scolding himself for snooping. It didn’t take a genius to connect the dots between these texts and Kai’s seemingly sudden inebriation. He gathered the coffee cups, frowning when he caught a whiff of vanilla... mixed with vodka. He brought Kai’s coffee cup to his nose and sniffed again, frowning. Had Kai spiked his coffee earlier?
Soobin came out of the kitchen, untying his apron, so Taehyun quickly discarded the cups. “Is Kai okay?”
“I don’t know... I think he drank a little too much...”
Soobin threw a glance in the direction of Kai’s room before he looked at Taehyun. “Are you staying for dinner?”
“No, I–” Taehyun started, but Soobin gave him a look, big eyes, lips jutted out in a half-pout. Beomgyu chuckled to himself as he witnessed it. “I guess could eat,” Taehyun caved, unable to keep the endeared smile of his face.
“Yay, okay, Junie is ten minutes out, would you two mind setting the table?”
Beomgyu pressed a kiss to Soobin’s cheek before leading Taehyun to the kitchen. “Sorry, Soobin’s like a southern mom. Nobody leaves the house until they’re fed.”
“I heard that!” Soobin called from next door. Taehyun only laughed as a grinning Beomgyu handed him a small stack of plates.
“I don’t mind. Just don’t want to impose on your date night,” Taehyun said.
Beomgyu chuckled. “No biggie.”
“Beomgyu,” Taehyun trailed off, his mind wandering back to Kai and TJ. “That guy, TJ... he’s not, like, dangerous or anything, right?”
“No,” Beomgyu said, shaking his head as they carried everything into the living room. “He and Kai are just... well, they were pretty whirlwind, I guess.”
“He’s a smooth-talker and a manipulator,” Soobin interjected. “I’d sleep better at night knowing he’s far, far away from Kai.”
The front door opened and Yeonjun walked in, shrugging off a long black raincoat. Taehyun hadn’t even noticed the shift in weather. Yeonjun greeted them, pressing kisses to Soobin’s and Beomgyu’s cheeks and hugging Taehyun.
“Where’s my baby?”
“Asleep,” Beomgyu replied, a worried crease appearing between his brows.
Yeonjun frowned, checking the time. It was barely six o’clock. “Is he okay?”
“TJ troubles,” Soobin said.
Taehyun bit his lip. “What is the deal with that guy anyway?”
“TJ?” Yeonjun asked. “He’s just an asshole who thinks Kai’s still into him. He never really opened up about the details of their relationship. All we could see was that it wasn’t healthy. And he keeps getting roped back in by him whenever he’s extra vulnerable.”
“So... what can we do?” Taehyun asked, hearing the hint of desperation in his own voice.
Yeonjun sighed. “We’re gonna be there for him, and we’re gonna look out for him.”
Taehyun damn sure hoped that was enough.
***
Me; 11:22 AM
You okay?
Kai 🐧💚; 11:30 AM
i’m fine
sorry about yesterday
Me; 11:31 AM
Don’t worry about it
Just... are you sure you’re okay?
Kai 🐧💚; 11:40 AM
100%
i know it looks bad after everything
but I just had a tough week
nothing to worry about
promise
Me; 11:42 AM
okay
see you for Thanksgiving?
Kai 🐧💚; 11:43 AM
i can’t wait
i’ll pick you up at noon that day, sound good?
Me; 11:45 AM
perfect
***
Thanksgiving couldn’t come fast enough, which was a weird thought in and of itself, because Taehyun had never bothered with it before. Kai seemed excited too though, both about seeing his family, and orchestrating their reunion between them and Taehyun.
It was cute. And also more than a little heartwarming.
“You have a license?” Taehyun asked that morning when Kai pulled up in a Jeep. He figured, he should have put two and two together when Kai had mentioned picking him up.
“I do,” Kai said proudly as he opened the trunk for Taehyun to put his bag in. He kept the gift bag in his hands though. He had decided it would be rude to show up empty-handed, but he was worried about possibly handing Kai’s parents a crappy gift.
“How good of a driver are you?” Taehyun asked cautiously.
Kai laughed and rounded the car, opening the passenger door and making an exaggerated fancy gesture for Taehyun to get in. “Don’t worry, you’re safe with me.”
“Famous last words,” Taehyun joked but got in nonetheless. He carefully set the little gift bag down between his feet.
“What’s that?” Kai asked when he got back behind the wheel.
“Wine. I figured I should bring something...” Taehyun trailed off timidly.
Kai grinned at him. “That’s cute.” Taehyun huffed but chose not to say anything in return. “You look nice, by the way.”
Taehyun hadn’t picked out anything special to wear; blue jeans, a white shirt, and a caramel-colored cardigan. He had shrugged off his jacket since it was warm enough in the car.
“Thanks, you too,” Taehyun retorted, making Kai chuckle. He was dressed in a black hoodie and black cargo pants. It was casual but Kai made everything look amazing.
Kai put on some music and pulled onto the road. It took them quite a while to get out of the city due to traffic, but Kai’s company and the music more than made up for it.
“What have you been up to this past week?” Taehyun asked. He hadn’t seen Kai since that day at his and Beomgyu’s place.
Kai hummed non-committally. “Not much. Studied a bit, gamed a lot.” Taehyun chuckled at that. “It was nice to finally catch up on some sleep too.”
“That’s good to hear,” Taehyun replied honestly. After witnessing Kai in such a distraught state, Taehyun had been more than a little worried. But Kai seemed a lot better than he had the other week.
Taeyeon’s “Rain” came on shuffle next, and it fit the gray cloudiness of this November day a little too well. Taehyun looked out of the window as they finally made it out of the city and pulled onto the Interstate, softly humming along to the song. He was eager to see his surroundings.
Sure, it wasn’t a New York State round trip with sights, but he would take it. It was one of the reasons he hadn’t been opposed to a three-hour car ride.
“I like your voice,” Kai spoke up after the song had ended.
Taehyun hoped he didn’t blush again – it was getting embarrassing. “It’s nothing special.”
“It’s soothing. I always thought so. I’d let you sing me to sleep any time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Taehyun said with a small smile on his face as he continued to look out of the window. “This is nice,” he said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
Kai smiled, his eyes fixed on the road. He looked a little too good behind the wheel, Taehyun noted. He quickly averted his eyes before he got caught staring.
“It’s definitely more fun with company,” Kai said. “Driving alone is so boring. Not that I do it very often.”
“I can imagine. Traveling alone is boring in general,” Taehyun agreed.
“Right, how did you decide to come here to finish your degree anyway?” Kai questioned, shooting him a brief glance before refocusing on the road.
Taehyun thought about it for a moment. “I mean... I always wanted to go abroad for a bit. My university is partnered with Columbia, and I never even expected to get in, but I did...” he explained.
“Must have been scary, though, right?”
“It was,” Taehyun agreed. “I knew the language, but it’s the first time I’m this far away from home... from my family.”
Kai hummed in acknowledgment. “But your mom was supportive?”
“Oh, more than. I considered not coming here because I was worried she would end up lonely all by herself. She encouraged me to go,” Taehyun recounted with a smile. “Now, it turns out I worried for nothing because she’s totally going on more dates than me!”
Kai let out a surprised laugh. “What?”
Taehyun filled Kai in on the developments between his mother and Mr. Shim, the convenience store owner.
“She sounded happy, although she still vehemently denies that she’s seeing him in a dating type of way.”
Kai laughed again. “I’m sure she’ll get there. What about you though?”
“Hm? What about me?” Taehyun asked, confused.
Kai shot him another brief glance. “We’ve talked plenty about my messy dating life, but I hardly know anything about yours. Don’t tell me there aren’t any cute guys around here because I know that’s not true.”
“Oh, there are,” Taehyun confirmed, “I don’t know, I guess I’m just careful.”
“Valid.”
“Besides, I haven’t been all that lucky either,” Taehyun said, frowning. He didn’t often think about his ex, but whenever he did, his mood soured significantly.
“Bad breakup?”
“Cheated on me,” Taehyun replied bitterly. “I dated him for two years only to find out he was fucking someone else half of the time.”
“Damn,” Kai said under his breath.
“Doesn’t matter now. It was over a year ago and I do not need a repeat of that,” Taehyun said with conviction. He had been a mess after his breakup with that guy and hadn’t bothered to date anybody seriously since.
Kai hummed. “So dating’s completely off the table?”
Taehyun looked at him. Kai was staring at the road ahead, but he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. Hope flared up inside Taehyun that maybe Kai was anticipating his answer.
He thought about their little moment a few weeks ago at the barbeque. Kai had seemed pretty happy about the fact that Taehyun was single back then.
“I mean...” he trailed off, not averting his gaze this time. “It heavily depends on who might be interested. And, of course, on whether I’m interested.”
“And right now, there’s no such person?” Kai asked. He took an exit off the highway but spared Taehyun another brief look.
“Didn’t say that. I’m just... careful this time,” he repeated.
“Hm...” Kai didn’t say anything else about the topic afterwards which mildly disappointed Taehyun. Then again, he hadn’t really expected Kai to confess his undying love or whatever in a car.
“My mom’s really excited to see you again,” Kai pointed out after a while. “She can’t wait, actually. Always had a soft spot for you.”
Taehyun chuckled. “You sure she didn’t just pity me?”
“No,” Kai said without hesitation, “she’s literally compared every friend I ever had to you.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Kai chuckled, “it’s actually kind of hilarious. Sometimes it feels like she’d just want to make you part of the family.” He spluttered when his own words registered. “I mean–”
Now it was Taehyun’s turn to chuckle. “I know.”
***
Taehyun’s nerves spiked when Kai pulled into the driveway of his home. The weight of the situation hit him. He was going to see Kai’s family again.
What if they were disappointed with how he turned out? What if he ended up making a complete ass of himself?
“Hey,” Kai said as he parked and killed the engine. Taehyun looked at him, unsurprised to find Kai looking at him with a knowing expression. He reached for Taehyun’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s going to be alright.”
“I’m okay,” Taehyun said truthfully, “just... I can’t help being a little nervous?”
“It’s cute,” Kai told him with a little grin. Taehyun huffed incredulously, although he couldn’t fight the smile off his face. “Shall we?”
“Yeah, let’s...” Taehyun agreed. Kai squeezed his hand again before he, unfortunately, let go. They got out of the car and headed up the rest of the driveway to the front door. Taehyun would have given anything to be able to take Kai’s hand again, but he realized how that might possibly give off the wrong impression.
They weren’t 12 anymore.
“Ready?”
Somehow Taehyun felt like he had slipped right into a Meet-the-Family holiday movie. The thought did nothing to ease his worries.
“Ready...”
Kai reached for the doorknob and pushed the door open. “I’m home!”
Nothing for a split second in which Kai closed the door. Then a figure emerged from a room to their right and Taehyun only registered a wave of blonde hair before he was already hugged.
Next to him, Kai scoffed in mock-offense. “Wow, so that’s the warm welcome I get. As, you know, your brother?”
Kai’s younger sister, Bahiyyih, pulled away from Taehyun with a bright grin. “Hi!”
“Hi Hiyyih,” Taehyun replied with a surprised laugh.
She turned to Kai. “I saw you a few weeks ago. It’s been forever since I last saw Taehyun.” She went on to hug her brother right afterwards, though. “I saw you two out there by the way,” she continued between them and wagging her brows. “In the car? I can’t believe my brother finally got his head out of his ass and asked you out!”
Taehyun and Kai both spluttered. “We’re not–... he didn’t...”
“He didn’t?” Hiyyih exclaimed disbelievingly. “Dumbass...” she lightly nudged Kai.
“Well, good god,” a new voice suddenly spoke up before this conversation could get any more embarrassing. Kai’s mother had come to join them. “Kang Taehyun, look how much you’ve grown.”
“I’m afraid it wasn’t all that much, ma’am,” Taehyun joked. “It’s good to see you again.”
Kai’s mother smiled and then also went for a hug. “You too, sweetheart. I could barely believe it when Kai said he ran into you.”
“Imagine my surprise,” Taehyun said.
She pulled back and patted his cheek. “Let me look at you. You’ve grown up so well. How’s your mother?”
“Oh, she’s well, she sends her regards,” Taehyun replied before he remembered the gift bag in his hand. “I brought some wine...”
Kai’s mother smiled warmly as she took the gift bag from his hands. “Thank you, sweetie, that’s very thoughtful of you.”
“Hi mom, I’m here too,” Kai said with a mock pout. She chuckled and hugged her son next. “My boy, I’ve missed you. Wow, look how long your hair’s getting.”
Kai fumbled with his black strands, mumbling something incoherent.
“Well, let’s get out of the hallway, shall we? The others are in the living room.” Kai’s mom shuffled back to where she came from and Taehyun, Kai, and Hiyyih followed.
Lea was sitting on the couch with her father and an unfamiliar girl whom Taehyun assumed to be Hiyyih’s girlfriend.
“My baby brother’s home!” Lea exclaimed and got up to give Kai a hug.
“Finally, somebody who’s happy to see me,” Kai said dramatically. Lea chuckled and ruffled his hair. Taehyun greeted her and Kai’s father before he was officially introduced to Hiyyih’s girlfriend Seo Youngeun.
“We’re just gonna drop off our stuff and come back down,” Kai announced gently dragging Taehyun along by the sleeve.
“See, told you they adore you,” Kai said on their way up a wide set of stairs. The walls were lined with pictures; family pictures, baby photos of all three siblings. Some of them, Taehyun was familiar with. But there were more now, graduation pictures, Hiyyih’s 18th birthday, Kai with his Columbia acceptance letter, Lea in front of the Sydney Opera House, the family on a beach vacation.
“My room’s just up ahead,” Kai said, making Taehyun startle. He was already up the stairs and pushed open a door so Taehyun hurried up the rest of the stairs.
“Wow, it kinda looks like your old room back in Korea,” Taehyun said, looking around in mild awe. Aside from a few changes, Taehyun felt like he was inside a time capsule.
Kai’s bed was still littered with old plushies, his walls were painted blue, more photos hung on the wall. Taehyun ventured over, taking them in.
“American football?” Taehyun asked, shocked.
Kai chuckled sheepishly when he followed Taehyun’s gaze to the picture he was staring at. Kai in the middle of a football field, dressed in a blue and white jersey with the number 14 on it. His arms were spread, helmet in hand, and a bright grin on his face.
“I didn’t do it for very long,” Kai said. “Just one season.”
Taehyun looked at him. “Why?”
“Lost interest, I guess. It was fun, but I knew it wasn’t something I wanted to do long-term. So I made room for the people who needed to look good in college applications.”
“Noble,” Taehyun said with a chuckle. “The uniform looks good on you...” Kai raised a brow, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “I–” Taehyun cut himself off. “I mean... I wouldn’t have guessed this, is all.”
“I know, I was a huge nerd before I moved here. Still am, to be honest. But sports ended up becoming a fun outlet.”
“I know what you mean,” Taehyun said. He had found the same outlet in boxing and generally working out.
He let his eyes trail over the wall of pictures. Kai looked happy with his friends and family.
“Oh...” Taehyun said when his gaze fell on a familiar picture. It was the same one he had kept after Kai had moved. They were maybe thirteen or fourteen in it, grinning wide with their arms thrown over each other’s shoulders.
“Good old days, huh,” Kai said chuckling.
“I can’t believe how tiny you were.”
Kai nudged Taehyun. “Hey, come on, we were the same height.”
Taehyun laughed and turned to look up at Kai. “Thanks for bringing me along.”
“Of course,” Kai told him. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Taehyun was aware that he should look away before things got weird. On the other hand, Kai wasn’t really making a move to look away either. The silence was kind of loaded, given their proximity, and Taehyun briefly let his eyes flicker down to Kai’s lips.
Taehyun would have loved to bridge the distance between them and kiss him. But he couldn’t bring himself to take that step. What if he was misreading the situation? Nothing would be more awkward than an overnight stay in Kai’s family home if he ended up revealing his probably unrequited crush.
“Guys mom’s starting the side dishes for dinner now,” Hiyyih’s voice cut through the tension. “She was asking for you, Kai!”
“Alright, I’ll be right down,” Kai replied, looking at his sister who was standing in the doorway, looking at them with a somewhat knowing expression.
They headed downstairs, Taehyun’s face burning. He and Kai should talk right? About this weird... thing that went on between them. Then again, what if it ended up just being in his head after all?
He was probably reading too much into the situation. And he would be mortified if he brought it up with Kai only to get rejected.
“Got your thinking face on again,” Kai pointed out at the bottom of the stairs. He traced his finger over the crease in Taehyun’s forehead. He was ashamed to admit that the touch sent a small spark down his spine.
“I’m good,” Taehyun replied with a chuckle he prayed didn’t sound awkward. “Just a bit tired, I guess.”
“Then why don’t you rest for a bit? I’ll go help my mom,” Kai said, ruffling Taehyun’s hair.
Hiyyih appeared at his side before he could respond. “We can catch up, if you want!”
“You sure there isn’t anything I can help with?”
Kai and Hiyyih both waved off. “I’ll call you if there is. Deal?”
Taehyun nodded. “Alright, deal.” He let Hiyyih lead him to the living room where Youngeun was still sitting on the couch. Hiyyih took a seat next to her while Taehyun took the armchair.
“So, Brown, huh...” Taehyun said, cursing himself for his awkwardness.
Hiyyih grinned brightly, clearly proud of her achievement. “I never thought I’d get in.”
“It makes sense, though,” Taehyun told her. “I can’t explain how, but it just sounded like you when Kai told me about it. Is that where you two met?”
“Yeah,” Youngeun spoke up. “We were lucky enough to end up in the same housing unit.”
Taehyun smiled when the two of them exchanged glances. They made for a very cute couple.
“Anyway,” Hiyyih said, a faint blush dusting her cheeks, “what’s the situation between you and my brother?”
“Nothing spectacular,” Taehyun retorted, hoping that he wasn’t blushing too, “he must have told you.”
“Oh yeah, but he left out the heart eyes,” Hiyyih replied cheekily. “Like I said, I saw you two out there.”
“It’s not like that, Hiyyih.” He refrained from telling her that he would actually very much like it to be like that. Although he supposed she wouldn’t be opposed to this kind of news.
Hiyyih’s expression changed. “Don’t tell me he’s still seeing that absolute douchebag...”
Taehyun could only assume she meant TJ, but he wouldn’t gossip about Kai’s messy relationship with his little sister. “No comment. All I can tell you about him and me is that we’re just friends.”
Hiyyih gave him another knowing look but dropped the subject. “So how long are you in the States for?”
“Probably until June or July. I’ll finish my degree here and then see how I’ll go on.”
“What do you study?” Youngeun asked him.
“Behavioral Science,” Taehyun said.
“It’s seriously unreal to see you again. It made Kai really happy,” Hiyyih told him. “I keep telling him it was fate.”
“You sound like my mother,” Taehyun laughed.
Hiyyih was undeterred. “She always has been a wise woman from what I remember. But on a serious note, you have a good, positive influence on him. The last time I saw him he wasn’t nearly as chirpy.”
Taehyun’s chest lurched a bit at the implication. He wasn’t sure if he could have been able to bear seeing Kai in whatever state he had been in when he had been dating TJ. Seeing how that guy had affected him just a week ago was already enough for Taehyun. The familiar feeling of worry gnawed at him again, but he wasn’t going to let it spread onto Kai’s family when they already seemed to have reservations about TJ.
“How do you know it’s because of me?” he asked instead.
Hiyyih shrugged. “I can tell.”
“Tyun, don’t listen to her if she’s conspiring again,” Kai said as he entered the room. He handed his sister a small plate of weirdly shaped dinner rolls. “Mom banned me from the kitchen after I messed these up.”
Hiyyih took one timidly before Kai offered Youngeun the plate. “These are edible right?”
“Mom made them. I merely attempted to put them in shape and into the oven.”
Taehyun chuckled. “Why would she entrust you with such an important task?”
“Oh, Mr. Star-Chef, I didn’t know you were a Thanksgiving dinner expert,” Kai teased him.
“I’m confident that I’d do better than you,” Taehyun teased back.
“There’s only one way to settle this, you know,” Kai said. “Once we get back, we’ll have a cook-off. Soobin will be the judge.”
“Soobin’s biased,” Hiyyih chimed in. The roll in her hand seemed to be edible considering it already had decreased by half its size. “Seriously, he’d probably rob a bank for you.”
“Yeah, he’s really fond of you. Don’t know if it would be fair game,” Taehyun agreed.
Kai snorted. “Like Soobin would be anything but serious when it comes to food. But if you’re too scared–”
“Oh, it’s on,” Taehyun cut in.
“Perfect, let’s make it a party,” Kai retorted and handed Taehyun the last dinner roll before sitting on the armrest of his chair.
***
Dinner with the Huening family had always been a good time for Taehyun. Tonight was no different. The atmosphere was lively and festive.
Obviously, Kai’s mother had cooked the most scrumptious dinner. It was something Taehyun had only seen on TV before. The whole table was set with delicious dishes, some of which he had never tasted before.
“So, Taehyun, tell us. What have you been up to?” Kai’s father spoke up as he refilled everbody’s wine glasses.
“Oh, not much, I’m afraid. I’ve spent most of my time studying,” Taehyun responded with a timid smile. “Or working out.”
“Do you still box?” Lea asked, her interest piqued.
Taehyun nodded with a small smile, fondly remembering their conversations about sports from way back when. “I found it to be the best outlet.”
“And it comes in handy when you have to kick some ass,” Hiyyih chimed in.
“In theory,” Taehyun agreed with a chuckle. “So far I haven’t had to.”
“Let’s hope you won’t have to,” Kai’s mother spoke up, laughing lightly.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Hiyyih continued. “I could think of a few people who–”
Kai sent her a look, cutting her off mid-sentence. Taehyun didn’t have to be a genius to know Hiyyih was hinting at TJ once again. He wondered just what exactly had gone down between him and Kai to make everyone hate him to this extent.
Still, despite the topic officially getting dropped, he made a promise to Hiyyih in his head to kick that guy’s ass should he ever dare to upset Kai again.
***
“I’ve missed this,” Taehyun said with a content smile when the festivities had wrapped up and Kai’s mother had shooed everybody off. The dishes would be done tomorrow – although, if the Huening siblings were anything like Taehyun remembered, they would sneak into the kitchen tonight and clean up before their parents could get to it.
Right now, though, both him and Kai were clad in comfortable pajamas, sitting on Kai’s spacious bed.
“We’ve had our fair share of sleepovers since you came to New York,” Kai pointed out with a chuckle.
“Yeah, but this is different. The atmosphere is different. And I’ve missed it,” Taehyun said, a wave of nostalgia overcoming him as he looked around, taking in all the familiar elements of Kai’s room. Even though it was in a different place, in a different country, it evoked the same feelings in him as it likely would have in Korea. “It’s not exactly how it used to be because we’ve changed but it’s close...”
Kai grinned at him and threw an arm around him. He pulled Taehyun down with him, so they were now half-tangled on Kai’s sheets: “You’re such a romantic, Tyun.”
Taehyun snorted, mainly to downplay the heat rising in his cheeks at their proximity. Kai had showered just an hour prior, so he smelled divine, like peach and something else that Taehyun couldn’t quite pinpoint. Taehyun wanted to bury his nose in the fabric of Kai’s pajama top and just breathe him in.
That was probably weird, though, so he refrained.
“Tyun?” Kai’s timid voice spoke up after a few moments of comfortable silence.
“Hm?”
“When you do go back to Korea after you finish your degree...” Kai trailed off. Taehyun’s insides clenched together at the thought. How could he think of leaving when he felt so at home in Kai’s arms? “We won’t lose contact again, right?”
Taehyun looked up at him. “No, not this time.”
Kai’s smile was small as he pulled Taehyun closer in a proper embrace. They were so close, their legs entangled, their bodies aligned, and Taehyun would have loved to kiss Kai right then and there. He longed to feel Kai’s lips on his own.
Kai, too, gave him a certain look. Perhaps it was Taehyun’s imagination, wishful thinking, but for a split second, it seemed as though Kai was looking at his lips.
“Kai...”
“Yeah?”
“I’m...” Taehyun trailed off. He couldn’t do it. There was too much at stake. They had jut found each other again. He couldn’t risk losing Kai because of a stupid infatuation. “I’m dead tired. I should probably clock out.”
And thus, the moment shattered.
Kai’s grip around him loosened and his eyes flitted around nervously. “Yeah, you’re right. We should get some sleep.”
Taehyun regretted his decision almost instantly but as he tried to calm his racing heart and fall asleep, he tried to convince himself that it was for the best.
***
“Do come by again, alright?” Kai’s mother said to Taehyun the next day after a lavish breakfast.
Taehyun smiled at her and gave her a hug. “I will.”
“I’ll hold you to it. And give your mom my love, will you?”
Hiyyih was next to bid her goodbyes. She would head back to Providence with Youngeun later that day. Lea and Kai’s father had already said their goodbyes earlier as they had an errand to run in town. Hiyyih, too, gave both her brother and Taehyun a hug.
“It was really good seeing you again,” she told Taehyun.
“You too. And Youngeun, it was so nice to meet you.”
Youngeun grinned. “Right back at you.”
“Kai, you better call from time to time,” his mother scolded him warmly. “Don’t let your old mother worry about you too much, yeah?”
Kai laughed and hugged her again. “I’ll try, but no promises. You know I forget.”
“See you at Christmas?” Hiyyih asked him.
“You bet,” Kai retorted, ruffling his sister’s hair.
After one last round of hugs, Kai and Taehyun headed to the car.
“Drive safe!” Kai’s mom called after them. “Text me when you’re home!”
Kai appeased her with one last wave as they got in.
“Shame our stay was so short,” Taehyun said as they left the suburbs.
“You’re right. Next time we should stay longer,” Kai agreed. Taehyun smiled at Kai’s implication that he was invited next time as well. “I’d have suggested a longer stay this time also, but I promised Yeonjun I’d help with preparations.”
Taehyun furrowed his brows. “Preparations? For what?”
“Oh, I forgot to mention that, didn’t I? It’s Soobin’s birthday in a little over a week and Yeonjun is throwing him this huge party at the penthouse. It’s a pool party because there’s nothing Yeonjun loves more than to spite the weather. Plus, it’s an indoor pool, so...”
“Wow, sounds incredible,” Taehyun said, awed.
Kai grinned. “You’re obviously invited.”
“Maybe this time I’ll actually mingle,” Taehyun said jokingly before he paused, remembering what had cut his time at Yeonjun’s party short. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t...”
“Hey, no worries,” Kai waved off. “Got nothing to apologize for.”
Taehyun hated that he couldn’t help but worry. Another party could mean another instance with a distraught Kai. The last time hadn’t been long ago at all. That TJ guy also seemed to have a talent for just showing up at the same parties as Kai.
“Tyun, you’re making that face again,” Kai pointed out.
“What face?”
“Cute thinking face,” Kai elaborated. “You’re worried.”
Taehyun gaped at him. “And you keep calling me cute.”
Kai laughed heartily like he hadn’t just made Taehyun’s heart skip a few beats. “Because you are. Always running that big brain, always worrying. I don’t know, it’s the face you make. Cute.”
Taehyun huffed, though his heartbeat went erratic. Maybe he should have kissed Kai last night.
“Anyway, I’ll stay sober this time. Generally, I figured it might be a good idea to dial down on the alcohol a bit,” Kai told him, sounding sheepish. “I’ve proven time and time again that I can’t be trusted when liquor is involved.”
“It’s not your fault, Kai,” Taehyun said, much like the last time when Kai had shown up on his doorstep a drunk, crying mess because of a guy who took advantage of him. Or last week when mere texts from TJ had caused Kai to get drunk in his own four walls.
Kai shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, in the end. As long as I take the necessary precautions.”
“Well, I believe in you. You’re strong, Kai, you got this,” Taehyun told him, and he meant every word.
“Thanks, Tyun.”
They spent the rest of the drive listening to music, singing along obnoxiously. The sun was setting when they reached the city and Taehyun found himself wanting to prolong the drive a little. It would take some more time until they were at his apartment at least.
“Hey, do you want to stop for pizza? I’m kinda hungry,” Kai suggested.
Taehyun perked up. “Yeah, I’d love that.”
***
“Okay, I guess the choice between Taemin and Baekhyun was a bit too easy considering the absolute boner you’ve had for SHINee ever since I first met you,” Kai said with a laugh.
Taehyun spluttered. “I did not!”
“What else would you call it?”
“Admiration!”
Kai threw his head back, laughing. “The question was about which of the following celebrities you would sleep with, given the chance!”
Taehyun pouted, ready to retaliate. “Fine, so Chris Hemsworth or Lee Minho?”
“Aw, man, you know how much I love dilfs...”
“Do I?” Taehyun asked, chuckling. “I mean, I guess I should have known, given our Thor marathon the other night.”
“We agreed that he’s hot!” Kai defended himself and as much as he wanted to, Taehyun couldn’t deny that.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be having this discussion in public, though,” Taehyun said, chuckling. “Pretty sure that couple over there just gave us weird looks.”
“Ah,” Kai said, throwing a glance over his shoulder at said couple. “Nah, I bet they’re jealous because we’re having more fun than them. Also, my date is the prettiest in the building.”
“Do you always flirt this much, Jesus...” Taehyun said, flushing.
Kai only smirked, clearly self-satisfied with the fact that he had once again managed to get a reaction like this out of Taehyun. He really had to watch himself around him. Otherwise, Kai might notice that he wasn’t just flustered because he couldn’t handle flirting.
Taehyun would be absolutely mortified if Kai found out exactly why he was blushing.
“Come on, let me drop you off at home,” Kai told him, already picking up the bill. “On me, of course.”
Taehyun scoffed, albeit smiling. “Okay, gentleman.”
***
Beomgyu dropped to the floor in a dramatic heap, his arms and legs sprawled out all over the carpet. “Yeonjun, light of my life. I love you, I really, truly do. But, good god why do we have to throw such a big party for Soobin? My back is killing me.”
Yeonjun climbed down the steps of the ladder he had used to put up some of the decorations on the ceiling. He jumped down the last two steps and gently nudged Beomgyu with his foot.
“Don’t be a drama queen. Soobin deserves a big birthday bash. He’s turning twenty-four!”
Beomgyu furrowed his brows in confusion. “Yours, I could understand. Twenty-five. Half-fifty. I guess, that’s something to make a fuss over. I wouldn’t know because I still bathe in the fountain of youth–”
Taehyun chuckled quietly when Yeonjun nudged him a little harder at the joking jab.
“But twenty-four?” Beomgyu continued, undeterred. “Why not go all out next year and just invite the inner circle for his one?”
“Get up, you lazy bum,” Yeonjun said, nudging him once again. “First of all, I would throw a party for both of you every single day, if you let me. Second of all, you’re only saying this because you thought the party service would handle the dirty work. But after the Christmas Disaster of 2023, I’ll be damned if I ever hand one of my parties over to a service again.”
“What’s the Christmas Disaster of 2023?” Taehyun asked curiously.
Yeonjun dramatically touched the back of his hand to his forehead. “Don’t ask. Who needs a Grinch if you’ve got Philip’s Party Planning? More like Philip’s Party Poopers... they ruined everything.”
“They got the dessert wrong...”
“The mistletoe gave people rashes!”
“They hired a DJ who played weird remixes of Christmas songs,” Beomgyu finished. “It was a disaster and Yeonjun’s reputation was almost tarnished beyond repair.” He was being sarcastic, Taehyun noted, but Yeonjun nodded with a very serious expression on his face.
“I see,” Taehyun said. “Well, hand me those decorations and I’ll take over.”
Beomgyu grinned brightly when Taehyun took the decorations and picked up where he had left off.
“What the hell is taking Kai so long anyway?” Yeonjun asked, checking his phone before pocketing it again.
“Can’t blame him for taking his time,” Beomgyu said. “You get kind of intense when it comes to planning.” Yeonjun pouted at him, so Beomgyu got up and kissed his cheek. “I love you and your intense ass.”
Taehyun pointedly focused on his task when Yeonjun leaned in to give Beomgyu a proper kiss. He figured they had momentarily forgotten about his existence. He, too, wished for Kai to return soon.
Now he understood what Kai had meant about third-wheeling.
“By the way, Taehyun, it’s really cool of you to help too,” Yeonjun said, his arms now loosely wrapped around Beomgyu’s waist.
Taehyun smiled sheepishly. “It’s nothing, really. This is a nice break from all the studying.”
“Plus, more time with Kai right?” Beomgyu said with a wag of his eyebrows.
Taehyun glared at him half-heartedly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh please, he took you home to his family!” Beomgyu exclaimed. “D’you think he ever introduced TJ to his parents?”
“I already knew his parents. And our relationship is nothing like his and TJ’s.”
Beomgyu scoffed. “And thank heavens for that! I will never understand what the heck Kai ever saw in this guy.”
“Gyu, let it go. Kai’s on his way back here with the beverages and the last thing he needs to hear when he walks in is us talking about TJ,” Yeonjun reasoned.
A thud and the clinking of bottles alerted Taehyun and the others to Kai’s presence. “By all means, don’t stop on my account.”
Kai had returned and although he didn’t look mad per se, he also didn’t seem particularly happy about their current topic of discussion. He had set a crate of beer down next to himself and gave each of them a look.
Beomgyu made a face. “I’m sorry.”
“Can we not talk about that guy anymore?” Kai questioned, and Taehyun immediately felt bad although he hadn’t even been the one to first bring him up. “Please.”
“We’ll stop,” Yeonjun assured him, leaving Beomgyu’s side to ruffle Kai’s dark hair. “We’re sorry, okay?”
“It’s fine. I’d just love for my mistakes to not be lorded over me forever,” Kai said dismissively. He picked up the crate and headed towards the kitchen without another word. Taehyun handed the decorations back to Beomgyu who was looking after Kai with a sort of stunned expression.
It was understandable; Kai usually didn’t snap at people. And while his tone had been neutral, the message was crystal clear.
Taehyun followed Kai into the kitchen where he had set down the crate again and was now filling up the fridge with beer bottles, popping one open for himself.
“Are you alright?” Taehyun questioned.
Kai jumped at his voice but turned around. He gave Taehyun a half smile. “Hey, yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t mean to get snarky...”
“Don’t worry about it,” Taehyun told him.
Beomgyu, too, entered the kitchen, walking up to Kai. “I’m sorry, really. Don’t be mad?” He was pouting in an exaggerated manner and reached up to wrap his arms around Kai’s neck. Taehyun raised a brow at Beomgyu’s approach, but it seemed to work on Kai.
He set down the beer bottle he was holding. “I’m not.”
Beomgyu seemed relieved to hear that and so was Taehyun. The last thing they needed for Soobin’s birthday was bad blood between best friends. Taehyun was glad the crisis seemed to have been averted.
“Then let’s finish preparing this party and then celebrate the ever-loving fuck out of my boyfriend,” Beomgyu suggested cheerfully. Kai chuckled and nodded before Beomgyu let off him and he continued stacking beer bottles in the fridge.
Taehyun sincerely hoped that the party would go over smoothly. The fact that Kai, who had just mentioned cutting back the other day, was already drinking again didn’t soothe him.
***
Taehyun prided himself on being a smart person. Not in an obnoxious way, but he was rather proud of his intellect.
Still, he somehow had failed to come to the realization that an indoor pool party would require him to wear swimwear. He had seriously considered just going in sweats and claiming he had forgotten, but his mind took him back to Yeonjun lamenting the Christmas Disaster of 2023 and he did not want to be responsible for ruining Yeonjun’s efforts. Plus, he didn’t think he would be let off the hook for “forgetting the theme” when he had spent an entire afternoon helping Yeonjun with the preparations.
So, swimwear it was.
Taehyun grabbed a pair of swim trunks with a sigh and headed to the bathroom to take a shower before the party. The warm water hardly did anything to calm his nerves.
It wasn’t that Taehyun was insecure about his body. He worked out regularly, so he was relatively confident usually. It was just the fact that he would be around Kai. Clad in nothing but swim trunks.
While Kai would also be wearing swim trunks.
Taehyun bit his lip at the thought. He knew he shouldn’t let his mind go to the places it just went to; Kai in all of his broad glory, wet swim trunks clinging to his ass...
“Shit...” Taehyun cursed under his breath as his cock hardened at the mental images he was providing for himself. He was briefly convinced he could ignore it but as he scrubbed his body down with his favorite lotion, his tempted fingers spent a few extra moments grazing his nipples. Of course, his traitorous brain immediately made him imagine what it would be like if Kai touched him like this...
His cheeks burned as he rested one hand against the shower door as the other wrapped around his cock. He did nothing to stifle the gasp escaping him at the touch. His brain was still torturing him with mental images; Kai behind him in the shower, Taehyun’s back firmly pressed against his front as he worked his hand over Taehyun’s shaft.
Taehyun squeezed his eyes shut, moaning as he picked up speed. He wondered what it would be like with Kai here, would he tease him? Whisper dirty things in his ear? Would he praise Taehyun, call him a good boy? Or would be degrade him and call him a whore for having dirty thoughts about him in the shower.
Taehyun bit his lip, catching a spurt of precum from the tip of his cock. He found he didn’t care what Kai called him as long as he got his hands on him somehow. He had such pretty hands, and long slender fingers that could probably drive Taehyun insane in all kinds of ways.
“Fuck...” he gasped, his desperation echoing off the bathroom walls. The slick sounds of his hand working over his cock made his cheeks heat up even more. He imagined Kai’s lips on his neck, littering his skin with hickeys, teasing the most sensitive spot of his cock with his thumb as he single-handedly made Taehyun fall apart in his grip. “Fuck, yes, Kai~”
Taehyun’s hips jerked and he came with his best friend’s name on his lips, stroking himself through the intense orgasm.
Taehyun leaned against the cold tiles of the shower wall, panting as the pleasure washed away and mortification hit him. How could he...?
There was no way he could look Kai in the eye again after this, Taehyun thought, running a hand through his wet hair before turning off the shower stream. Maybe he shouldn’t go to the party after all.
On the other hand, Kai would probably seek him out. Also, he couldn’t just flunk out on Soobin’s birthday party on such short notice and without a proper excuse.
Still mortified, Taehyun got out of the shower and dried himself off. He eyed his pair of swim trunks, and a fresh wave of shame came over him. With great reluctance, he put them on and headed to his room to put on some sweats and a shirt. Yeonjun had made it abundantly clear that he was to drop any and all clothing that wasn’t pool attire at the front door.
A text from Yeonjun alerted him to the time. He asked where he was, and Taehyun would have loved to tell him that he was feeling a bit under the weather. It was the perfect opportunity.
But it would be a cowardly thing to do.
He just had to get it together. So he had jerked off to the thought of his best friend. Big deal.
“Get it together,” Taehyun told himself as he gathered his necessities and put on shoes and a coat before he headed over to Yeonjun’s.
***
The party was already in full swing when Taehyun arrived. Tons of people, only few of whom he had seen around campus before, were running around scantily clad. Taehyun headed up to the pool where the party was just as wild as downstairs.
The pool was humongous so even with the number of people in the water, it didn’t look crowded. And the huge panorama windows granted an amazing view of the lit-up city.
Yeonjun had a giant orange cocktail in hand when he spotted Taehyun. “Oh, there you are!”
“Hey, where’s the birthday boy?” Taehyun questioned.
Yeonjun looked around before he perked up and pointed at Soobin by the edge of the indoor pool. “Right over there! I also saw Kai somewhere earlier, so if you wanna say hi...” he trailed off with a wink.
Taehyun huffed and pushed past Yeonjun before he could catch his blush. Maybe avoiding Kai was the better option tonight, his stomach flipped a little when his mind briefly flashed back to his earlier fantasies.
“Soobin,” Taehyun called once he was within earshot. Soobin turned, a bright smile on his face. He, too, was clad in swimwear, of course, but Taehyun didn’t shy away from giving him a hug. “Happy birthday.”
“Thanks, I’m glad you’re here,” Soobin said cheerfully, looking around the rambunctious party. “They went a bit wild, didn’t they?”
Taehyun chuckled and looked around. It was a big place, so it fit a lot of people, but it was well and truly packed. “They did, but it’s nice, right?”
“Oh, absolutely. Yeonjun manages to outdo himself every time,” Soobin replied with an underlying fondness in his voice.
A bare arm was placed on Taehyun’s equally bare shoulders, and he jumped, looking at whoever had just come up to him. His breath hitched when he met eyes with Kai.
“You’re here,” Kai pointed out with a bright smile.
Taehyun swallowed and tried his hardest not to let his eyes wander. “I am.”
Soobin gave them a smirk and mumbled something about having to find Beomgyu before he took off. Kai eyed the pool and raised his brow at Taehyun.
Maybe the water would help him cool down.
“Careful, there’s a step...” Kai pointed out and held onto Taehyun’s arm, as they set foot on a large step that seemed to stretch around the entire pool, judging by the way people were sitting around in some places.
Taehyun let his body glide fully under the surface, the water cold and refreshing. Kai seemed to have done the same since his hair was wet when Taehyun emerged. They sat down on the large step and Kai grinned at him.
“Pretty insane, right? It’s snowing outside and we’re acting like it’s the middle of the summer.”
Taehyun leaned his head back, observing the glass windows where snow was slowly falling. “It’s pretty weird, but this is a lot more fun than I expected.”
“Yeah?” Kai said with a smirk. “I gotta agree though. I’m happy to report that I am completely sober tonight.”
“That’s good, pool parties and alcohol don’t sound like they go particularly well together anyway,” Taehyun said, looking around.
“Right, that seems like a disaster waiting to happen...” Kai agreed. He splashed some water on Taehyun with a mischievous cackle and Taehyun instantly retaliated. Kai laughed and splashed him again. “Fight me.”
“You might regret that,” Taehyun warned him, gliding off the step to get into a fighting stance. He splashed Kai with both hands, causing him to yell and flail around in the water in hopes of somehow being able to fight back. They embarked in a vicious water fight, laughing loudly and attracting the attention of a few others who either cheered them on or half joined in.
“Okay, I surrender!” Kai finally said, raising both hands out of the water. Taehyun laughed and splashed him once more for good measure before diving under the surface again. He emerged on the other side of the pool where fewer people were gathered. Kai followed him and they sat back down on the part of the stairs there.
“Told you you’d regret it,” Taehyun said smugly. He stretched his arms above his head before resting them on the edge of the pool with one of them behind Kai. It hadn’t even been his intention to practically pull the oldest trick in the book, but Kai didn’t seem opposed to their proximity.
“Wow, this is...” Kai’s trailed off, catching Taehyun’s attention again. His eyes were fixed on a spot below Taehyun’s left pec, more specifically the tattoo there. “Has, um, has this always been there?”
Taehyun laughed. “No, I got it last year.”
“It’s nice,” Kai said, his eyes still glued to Taehyun’s skin. Taehyun’s skin heated up at being stared at so openly, but he found he liked it. Especially since it was Kai whose fingers twitched beneath the surface.
Taehyun suddenly felt emboldened by their proximity and state of undress. “Do you... wanna touch it?”
Kai's breath hitched at the suggestion. “Can I?”
You can touch me however you like. “Yeah,” Taehyun said, his voice barely above a whisper. The anticipation of Kai’s fingers on his body gave Taehyun goosebumps.
Kai reached out, gently tracing his index finger along the fine lines of ink, permanently decorating Taehyun’s skin. His touch was almost electric, and Taehyun couldn’t suppress a shudder.
“Tyun...” Kai's voice was different. Lower, more charged than usual. It was almost like Taehyun was right back in one of those fantasies from earlier. Taehyun looked into Kai’s eyes and what he found made him shudder once more, his lips parting in something akin to excitement.
Kai reached for him, the water making it easy for him to place Taehyun in his lap, so he was straddling him. Taehyun made a noise of surprise at the new position, hands finding purchase on Kai’s bare shoulders.
“I can’t take it anymore,” Kai said, his voice rough, but not in a frightening way, but rather... desperate, almost. His eyes scanned Taehyun’s face and his tongue darted out to wet his own lips. Taehyun followed the movement with his eyes, trying not to squirm in Kai’s lap. “Tyun, can I kiss you?”
“Please,” was all Taehyun could get himself to say before Kai pulled him in for a heated kiss. Their lips moved against each other like they were both parched men at a well.
Taehyun moaned, arching into Kai's body. This was everything he had been imagining, only twenty times better. Kai’s tongue mapped Taehyun’s mouth, memorizing every inch of it, his thumbs rubbed firm circles into his hips beneath the pool surface.
Taehyun gasped into Kai’s mouth when he attempted to roll his hips against his, completely forgetting that they were in a public setting.
The pool’s pleasantly cool water suddenly felt like boiling lava when Kai's sinful hands landed on his ass. Again, Taehyun moaned into Kai’s eager mouth, desperate for more. He never wanted to stop kissing Kai now that he had gotten a taste.
Kai bit down on Taehyun’s bottom lip, swallowing his moans with more hungry kisses. Taehyun’s hands found purchase in Kai’s wet hair, his fingers tangling in the dark strands and he felt Kai’s cock twitching against his thigh.
Then, as quickly as it had started, everything ended.
Kai pulled back as though he had been burnt, panting heavily and looking back at him with widened eyes. Before he could say anything, Taehyun was maneuvered off Kai’s lap, flailing a little in the water.
“Shit, I'm so sorry,” Kai stammered, almost panicked and already moving to get out of the pool. “I can’t... I need to...”
“Kai–” Taehyun watched in disbelief as Kai climbed out of the pool and hurried off, disappearing into the crowd of partygoers.
What the hell had that been about?
Stunned, Taehyun sat in the pool for a good 10 minutes, trying to process what had just happened. He touched his lips when he remembered the feeling of Kai’s against them. But why had Kai left like that? He had seemed into it.
Hell, he had initiated it.
“Hey, you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Beomgyu’s voice startled Taehyun out of his thoughts. He looked up to find him squatting by the edge of the pool, looking slightly concerned. “Have you had anything to drink?”
“No... no, I’m good,” Taehyun said. “But I think I need to go.”
Beomgyu looked surprised. “What? Why?” Taehyun didn’t answer and instead climbed out of the pool. “Hey, wait, where’s Kai?”
“How should I know?” Taehyun snapped, a sudden wave of anger washing over him. “We’re not attached by the hip, you know.”
“Alright, jeez,” Beomgyu said. “I just thought it would be better if one of us kept an eye on him since TJ just walked in here. I don’t know how or why, but–”
“I don’t care,” Taehyun cut in, effectively surprising Beomgyu even more. “If Kai wants to go and fuck TJ again then he’s free to do so. I’m going home.”
He turned on his heel and rounded the pool to head downstairs. Beomgyu called after him, but Taehyun paid him no mind. Luckily, he was spared from running into Kai again. He dried himself off with a towel which was on a served silver platter like drinks before he went to find his clothes.
He couldn’t understand Kai. Why had he kissed him only to run away? Did it have anything to do with TJ? According to himself, Kai hadn’t been drunk, so Taehyun assumed it wasn’t just an impulsive heat-of-the-moment decision to be blamed on the alcohol.
Regardless, Taehyun felt used. He had wanted nothing more than to kiss Kai, but he had imagined him to stay afterwards. An awful thought crossed Taehyun’s mind as he remembered the time Kai had told him that he used sex to cope with stress.
Sure, it hadn’t quite gone that far, but what if this had been nothing but stress-relief for him?
Fuming, confused, and upset, Taehyun headed home, eager to change and forget about this evening. His phone rang the second he closed the door of his apartment behind himself.
It was Kai.
Taehyun declined the call; he had no desire to speak to him right now. He would only end up saying something he would regret and that wouldn’t benefit anybody.
He rushed to his bedroom and changed out of his clothes. He considered taking another shower, but he only wanted to go to bed now.
Unfortunately, his ringing phone crossed these plans. He looked at the screen, ready to pick up and yell at Kai to leave him alone but he paused when he saw his mother’s contact name instead.
“Mom,” he said as he picked up. He felt pathetic for being close to tears all of a sudden.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” his mother questioned, immediately picking up on his tone.
Taehyun sniffled, trying to compose himself. The last thing he needed was to worry his mother. “Nothing, I’m fine. Are you alright?”
“I’m going to pretend you just didn’t lie to me and give you one more shot to tell me the truth,” his mother said.
Taehyun sighed and sat up. “I just got home from a birthday party, and it wasn’t great. I don’t want to get into it.”
She hummed in acknowledgment. “Did you get into a fight with Kai?”
“Not exactly,” Taehyun said, though he couldn’t stop his tone from taking on a bitter note. “But I really don’t want to talk about it, mom. I’d much rather talk about your day.”
“Alright, I’ll let off for now,” she caved. “I originally called to ask about your dinner wishes for Christmas Eve.”
“Oh, um... I don’t have any particular wishes. I miss your cooking in general,” Taehyun told her. He tried to focus on a particular kind of meal he might enjoy, but his mind was still a little too frazzled.
She chuckled warmly. “Now that narrows it down.”
Taehyun smiled. “Sorry mom, I’ll try to think of something.”
“Darling... you sound so sad today, it worries me.”
Taehyun exhaled. “It’s nothing...” he said again, leaning back into his pillows. His fingers absent-mindedly came up to touch his lips again. “Or, well, it is something, but I need to sleep on it first. See how I feel tomorrow.”
“That’s awfully mature of you. You’ve really grown up so well,” his mother said, sounding slightly surprised. “I hope you feel better tomorrow, sweetheart.”
“Thanks, mom. So, what have you been up to?”
“Oh, Mr. Shim and I went to Jeju Island last weekend,” she told him, immediately sounding excited.
“Oh, really? Are you still trying to tell me you’re not dating him?” Taehyun asked.
“Alright, already! Fine, maybe it’s more serious than I originally imagined. Are you sure you’re okay with that?” She sounded timid and Taehyun hated that she worried about his reaction.
“Mom, I’m more than okay with that. I’m encouraging it. If he’s good to you, that is.”
She laughed, clearly relieved. “He is, don’t worry. He’d also like to formally meet you when you get here for Christmas. I’m worried it’s a bit soon...”
“I’d be glad to, actually,” Taehyun told her, “I can’t wait to come home.”
“Is it selfish to say I can’t wait for you to come home either? I know it’s only going to be for a week, but I miss you,” she said.
Taehyun’s chest constricted. “I miss you too.” The tears sprung back to his eyes at the wave of homesickness adding to his already messy feelings. “But I’ll be home soon and then we’re going to have the nicest Christmas ever, alright?”
She sniffled. “Sounds perfect. You cheer up, darling, alright? I have to go now,” she said. He heard her speaking to somebody else, her voice muffled before she became clear again. “I’ll talk to you soon. Good night.”
“Night, mom,” Taehyun said, and they hung up. With a heavy sigh, Taehyun rolled onto his side and looked at his phone. He had gotten a text while on the phone.
Kai 🐧💚; 12:46 AM
tyun, can you talk to me please?
I’m sorry about earlier
please...
Taehyun scoffed and flung his phone aside. ‘Sorry about earlier.’ Did he mean kissing Taehyun or running away after? Taehyun didn’t want to find out, too scared of the answer. He should have used his brain instead of his dick to avoid exactly what he was afraid was going to happen.
With a heavy sigh, Taehyun turned onto his other side, trying to fall asleep, but his mind was running a mile a minute.
Despite the anger and confusion he felt about being ditched by his best friend after a moment like that, his brain couldn’t stop replaying the actual kiss. It had felt so good, so right to finally kiss Kai. Technically, it should have been everything he wanted and more. But it seemed as though he had deluded himself after all. Every signal he had gotten from Kai, he seemed to have misread.
With a frustrated groan, Taehyun sat up in his bed and picked his phone back up. His chat with Kai was still open, his messages still sitting there like a huge thorn in his side.
Taehyun started typing, deleted everything, and started typing again. He repeated this process three or four times, tutting whenever he decided to throw out whatever he was typing. In the end, nothing made any sense, or it was too raw and too emotional. He really should be acting rationally, or he would make a huge fool of himself. He set his phone aside and once again lay down.
Sleep wouldn’t come, but he would be damned if he picked up his phone only to embarrass himself even further.
***
Avoiding Kai proved to be as difficult as expected. He went to his Sociology class extra late, so he wouldn’t have to sit next to Kai. At least, he seemed to take the hint. After Taehyun ignored several more calls and texts from Kai, he seemed to give up.
The same couldn’t be said about Beomgyu.
“Can you please tell me why my roommate is so miserable? He swore he’d stay sober the night of the party but he ended up passed out in Yeonjun’s bed.” Taehyun regretted agreeing to join Beomgyu at lunch when all they did was talk about Kai. “Please? I’m grasping at straws here...”
“Why don’t you ask him about it?” Taehyun asked, not looking up from his pasta.
Beomgyu huffed incredulously. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? All I got from him was that something happened between you two, but I already figured that part out myself, judging by how charged you were at the party.”
“Something happened, alright. Look, Gyu, I really don’t want to talk about it,” Taehyun told him sternly. Beomgyu pouted, but Taehyun wouldn’t let himself get dragged into spilling his guts in front of Kai’s roommate. He just wanted to fly home and forget for a week.
“So, are you just never going to talk to each other again?” Beomgyu asked.
Taehyun glared at him. “Gyu, let it go.”
“No,” Beomgyu retorted, his face determined. “Everybody’s always telling me to let it go, but I’m fucking worried, okay? I’ve seen Kai spiral while he was with TJ and my boyfriends are too scared to address the situation in fear of upsetting him. Now, something happened between you two and you’re telling me to let it go again? When I have a sad, mopey Kai back at the apartment?”
“I’m sorry, but if you want information, you’re going to have to get it out of him,” Taehyun said sternly as he got up and grabbed his tray. “He’s the one who messed up.”
Taehyun spent the last two weeks of class time eating by himself. He missed his friends, he missed Kai, but he couldn’t face him yet. And he wouldn’t be able to face them either if all they would do was to try and make things right before Taehyun was ready.
***
The flight home seemed endless. He regretted not saying goodbye to his friends first and had shot them a text in the group chat, telling them Merry Christmas and that he would be home in Korea until January 1st.
They had all read it, even Kai. But all he had gotten in return was a Christmas message from Yeonjun in their private chat, sent in Soobin’s and Beomgyu’s name as well.
His mother waited for him at Arrival, waving exaggeratedly when she spotted him. He smiled and quickly made his way over, dragging his luggage behind him. It was almost surreal to see her again after almost four months.
The hug she gave him when he reached her almost made him forget his troubles. He felt like crying again, much like he had when he had left for New York City back then. This time there was a sense of relief that caused tears to well up in his eyes, though. He was finally home again.
“Mom,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by the fabric of her shirt.
“My baby,” she sniffled. “Did you grow taller?”
Taehyun chuckled wetly. “Not that I know of,” he said, pulling back to look down at himself. “Maybe you’re shrinking.”
“You little–” she nudged him before pulling him into another hug. “Let’s get you home, shall we?”
She let go and hooked her arm through his. Together they made their way out of the airport and to the car.
“Alright, so I figured today is for resting and catching up, tomorrow, if you’re up for it, we can have brunch with Jaewon. To test the waters a little,” she told him once they were well on their way home.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Taehyun agreed. “Are you nervous about me meeting him?”
“A little,” she admitted with a chuckle. “I mean, he’s wonderful, but I don’t know, I just want you two to get along.”
Taehyun looked over at her. “Mom, we will. It’s not as though he’s a complete stranger. I’ve spent so much money at his store during my high school days, and he was always friendly.”
“I’m just happy you’re open about this,” his mom said.
“Well, who am I to stand in the way of your happiness?” Taehyun asked. “Plus, you’ve always been accepting of me as well, haven’t you?”
She threw him a short glance. “Yeah, but you don’t owe me anything in return for that. You’re my son, I will always accept you.”
“Then we’re all good, aren’t we?”
***
It felt so good to come home again, Taehyun came close to crying again. These days he seemed a little bit more prone to tears, as it seemed. He went to put his luggage in his old room, happy to find it exactly the way he had left it.
His mother whipped up a quick dinner for them. Taehyun had missed her cooking so much that he spent the entire time in the kitchen looking over her shoulder.
“So,” she said when the table was set and they were sitting across from each other, ready to eat. “Are we finally going to address the elephant in the room?”
Taehyun picked up his spoon and stared into his soup bowl. “Don’t know what you mean.”
“Taehyun, you know I can tell when something is bothering you,” she said, regarding him with a concerned look.
Defeated, Taehyun sighed and set his spoon down again. “Fine, it’s Kai.”
“I figured as much,” his mom retorted. “What happened? Did you fight?”
“No...” Taehyun said. “I’m not really talking to him right now. It’s...” he trailed off, unsure of how to put everything into words. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together, getting reacquainted. I noticed that I had feelings, I probably always did, and I wasn’t going to do anything about it, but he kissed me the other night. And then he took off.”
“Just like that?”
Taehyun nodded bitterly. “He apologized via text afterwards, but I’m confused, you know? Like, there were signals, but he also has this really annoying ex whom things are really complicated with, and then he goes and does something like this?”
His mother hummed. “Well, it sounds to me like you’re not the only one who’s confused,” she said contemplatively. “What he did wasn’t okay, and of course, I don’t know the details, but your history with him goes way back. Maybe this break and the distance are just what you need. Clear your head and then fly back and talk to him.”
“You and your endless good advice,” Taehyun mumbled, a small smile tugging at his lips. She was right, of course. With Kai close by, and their friends trying to get them to talk, Taehyun had hardly given himself time to properly process everything. He had been so focused on avoiding Kai...
“You and Kai, that’s fate, sweetie,” she said with a conviction that stunned Taehyun. “I’d be surprised if you didn’t manage to somehow work this out.”
“We’ll see about that,” Taehyun responded dejectedly. Right now, he still didn’t feel any desire to talk to Kai about what happened, so maybe she was right, and he simply needed the distance.
They ate together and Taehyun told his mom all about his friends and his classes which had been going pretty smoothly lately. She continued to catch him up on the neighborhood gossip and her work. Whenever the topic was steered towards her relationship, she grew a little timid but it was clear as day how giddy she was about Mr. Shim. Taehyun was glad to see her so genuinely happy. He couldn’t wait to meet the guy properly and ease her worries about them not getting along.
“I’m beat for now, mom. Do you mind if I head to bed early? Wouldn’t want to sleep through brunch.”
She chuckled and patted his cheek. “Go, I’ll clean up here.”
“Are you sure? I can–”
“No, you go and rest up, my dear. You’ve had a long flight.”
Taehyun yawned, further proving the point. He got up and bid her good night before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
One thing that certainly cheered him up on top of coming home was getting to sleep in his old bed. He nuzzled into the sheets, inhaling the scent of familiarity. It didn’t take a lot more for him to fall asleep.
***
Taehyun had to admit that he was the slightest bit nervous about meeting his mother’s boyfriend now that it was finally happening. It wasn’t exactly an everyday occurrence, but he was also looking forward to it a bit.
Brunch was happening in the dining room and Taehyun decided to dress a little more formally than he usually would, opting for a dress shirt and some slacks.
Luckily, Shim Jaewon was a good-natured extravert. He greeted Taehyun like he knew him – which, in a way, he did – and immediately made everyone around him feel comfortable. Jaewon greeted his mother with a hand kiss before presenting her with a large bouquet of her favorite flowers. Taehyun raised his brows at the old-fashionedness of it all, but he couldn’t find himself to be put off by it. His mother was smiling brighter than he had ever seen, so that was a bonus, too.
“So, Taehyun, how has New York City been treating you so far?” Jaewon asked once they had all sat down to eat after all the pleasantries were exchanged.
Taehyun smiled faintly, involuntarily thinking back to Kai and how they had left things. “It’s something else. I was a little scared to go at first, but I’m doing quite well there.”
“That’s good to hear. Your mom has told me so much about you, so even though we don’t know each other well, I’m sure you’ll be able to succeed there.”
“Thanks,” Taehyun said, his smile growing a little.
“Listen, I feel like I owe you some reassurance,” Jaewon said, sitting up a little straighter.
Taehyun looked at him curiously. “Reassurance?”
“Your mother has been very open with me about the environment you grew up in when your father was still around.” Taehyun swallowed heavily. He wouldn’t have expected this. His mother hated to talk about that man and how he had treated mainly her. Still, he nodded as a sign of acknowledgment. “I just want to let you know that I care about your mom very deeply.”
“I know,” Taehyun told him. “And you don’t owe me anything.”
“Still, we both thought it was best to just talk to you about this again,” his mom spoke up. “And I know you’ve told me before but if you have any qualms or concerns–”
“Mom,” Taehyun cut in gently. “It’s okay. You’ve put me first your whole life, even more so after my father took off. But I’m an adult now and I want you to be happy. You don’t have to justify yourself in front of me ever. I’m happy for you both, really.”
She smiled and Jaewon gave a pleased nod. “I’m really happy you think so, Taehyun.”
Taehyun smiled. “Now, stop acting like I’m some sort of strict father or something. If you two like each other then that’s good. Go for it.”
“Make sure to take your own advice, darling,” his mother said with a smile.
Taehyun chuckled, albeit a little sadly. “This is not about me.”
“It will be when you get back to New York,” she told him, patting his arm. “All I want is for you to be happy as well.”
***
“It was really nice meeting you,” Taehyun said when Jaewon picked up his jacket in the afternoon.
“You too, Taehyun.”
“See you for Christmas dinner?” Taehyun’s mother addressed Jaewon who shot Taehyun a quick look before he smiled and nodded. “Perfect.”
When Jaewon left, his mother turned to Taehyun. “So?”
Taehyun grinned at her. “So what? He’s nice, mom. We got along, just as I said we would.”
“And you really don’t mind that he’ll spend Christmas with us?” she asked, sitting next to him on the couch.
“I really don’t.”
She seemed properly relieved now, patting his arm once more before she rose again to begin cleaning up around the room. Taehyun followed suit, helping her, despite her small protests.
Cleaning up was quick and they shared the dishes with his mother washing and Taehyun drying.
“I think, I’ll go for a walk. It’s been a while since I’ve been around the neighborhood,” Taehyun told her, hanging the dishtowel on the rack when they were done.
His mother nodded and dried off her hands. “Be safe, alright?”
“Of course, mom.”
Taehyun grabbed his coat and put on his shoes before heading downstairs and out into the crisp December wind. He inhaled deeply, having missed the familiarity of everything. It smelled different than it did in New York. He had come to love the city, but only now did he realize how much he had truly missed home.
He took a stroll through his old neighborhood, greeted some familiar faces in passing before heading straight for his favorite café.
After tasting mainly Soobin’s divine coffee for the past three months, he had to say that it felt weird to drink his former favorite on his way back home, though it was no less perfect than he remembered it. A sting in his chest made him miss the new variant, though. Though it wasn’t so much the coffee than the people he associated with it now.
When he re-entered the house, his mother was preparing lunch already. She greeted him with a smile when he went to join her in the kitchen.
“How was your walk?”
“Nice. It’s good to be here,” Taehyun said. “I definitely needed this.”
***
A few days later, Taehyun woke up with a feeling of childish excitement. He loved Christmas with a passion, and the smell of fresh baked goods wafting through the air, made him feel like a kid again.
He jumped out of bed and got ready in rapid speed. He had decorated the Christmas tree with his mother the previous evening and it stood in the living room in all its glory. There was an abundance of small packages underneath now, that hadn’t been there the day before.
His mother walked in with a plate of his favorite cookies, offering Taehyun one. “Merry Christmas, sweetie.”
“Merry Christmas, mom.”
She led him to the tree, clearly as excited as he was. “Do you want to open your presents now?”
Taehyun chuckled. “Right now? You used to make me wait until after breakfast.”
“Times have changed, my dear.”
“In that case,” Taehyun said giddily. “I’d love to open my presents right now!”
She laughed and they sat on the living room floor next to the tree where she handed him his first present. “I wanted to give you this before you left but it was delivered late.” She said with a sheepish chuckle as Taehyun unwrapped the semi-large box.
He gasped when he came face to face with a brand-new laptop. “Mom...” he said, stunned. “This is exactly the one I was saving for.”
She smiled and ruffled his hair. “You deserve it for all the hard work you’ve been putting into your studies these past few years. I’m still so proud of you for getting into Columbia.”
He looked at her, still wide-eyed over the expensive present. “Thank you.”
“Come on,” she waved off. “You’re my only son. Who am I if I don’t spoil you?”
She handed him several smaller boxes; a new watch, a personalized book bag and lastly, a first-edition copy of his favorite book. He smiled brighter with each present, thanking her as she watched him fondly.
He also handed over his presents for her. He had gotten her classic New York City souvenirs because he knew she loved to collect little trinkets. Since that was nowhere near enough, though he also bought her a heating blanket as she tended to get extra cold in the winter as well as a necklace.
“Oh sweetheart, you didn’t have to spend that much money on me,” she said as she admired the pendant.
Taehyun chuckled. “It’s really nothing.”
“Thank you, my darling,” she said with a fond smile.
***
“Alright, this was fun, but I’m exhausted,” Jaewon said that same evening after a large dinner. He rose from his chair and Taehyun’s mother followed suit, walking him to the door. Taehyun bid his goodbyes as well and left the two of them to it.
Afterwards, his mother joined him in the living room. “So... are you up for a Christmas movie or something of the sorts?”
Taehyun was about to respond when his phone buzzed. “Hold on...”
He fished his phone from his pocket and checked the notification, his breath hitching when he saw Kai’s name on the display. The message was short, straight to the point, but it made Taehyun feel everything he had tried not to feel over the past few days.
Kai 🐧💚; 11:11 PM
Merry Christmas.
“Everything okay, sweetie?”
Taehyun, who had been staring at the short, impersonal message for way too long to be considered normal, snapped his head up to look at her. “Yeah... but I think I’m going to go to sleep if that’s okay.”
She regarded him with a knowing look but chose to let him get away with his obvious lie this time. Taehyun hugged her and headed to his room, sitting on the bed where he pulled out his phone again. He hadn’t talked to Kai weeks and now here he was contemplating...
Should he respond? But what would he even say? He couldn’t simply hit him with a “you too.” That would feel way too casual considering the way they had left things after Soobin’s party. Taehyun sighed and threw his phone onto the comforter before he got up and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
When he responded his phone was still unlocked, screen lighting up the dim room. He picked it up again, staring at the message again. Finally, he typed a quick “Merry Christmas, Kai” and sent it before he could change his mind. He threw his phone onto his nightstand and rolled onto his side, facing away from his phone.
What he couldn’t see wasn’t there, so if Kai replied he was none the wiser for at least one more night.
***
“Ah, I can’t believe time flew by so quickly,” Taehyun’s mom said teary-eyed just a few days later. Jaewon had his arm slung around her shoulders. “My baby’s leaving again.”
Taehyun smiled faintly. “Only for a few more months.”
“Oh, I know but I’m going to miss you,” she said, stepping forward to hug him. “Take care of yourself, alright? Study well, don’t forget to eat – and talk to Kai!”
“I will, mom,” Taehyun promised, although the last part caused a sense of dread to settle in his stomach. He wanted to see Kai again, longed for it actually. His mother had been right; the distance really had helped a lot with processing everything and coming to terms with how he felt.
On the flipside, he now dreaded the talk they inevitably were going to have. Kai hadn’t responded to his text response, only hearted it, so Taehyun was anxious to see where a face-to-face conversation would lead them.
For now, he pulled away from his mom’s hug and looked at Jaewon. “It was really nice getting to know you.”
“You too, Taehyun. Good luck for the rest of your studies,” Jaewon said with his signature friendly smile on his face.
A speaker announcement let Taehyun know that it was time to board. He gave his mom another brief hug and bowed to Jaewon.
“I’ll take off. Take care, mom!”
She waved after him until he was out of sight, Jaewon’s arm back around her shoulders. Taehyun smiled at the sight as he went around a corner and couldn’t see them anymore.
***
Taehyun was surprised to find New York rainy and muddy as opposed to the heavy snowfall that was predicted in the forecast. He was drenched the minute he stepped out of the airport building. He hailed a cab, glad that one stopped for him quickly.
It took forever to get home at this hour and in this horrid weather, and Taehyun couldn’t suppress a sigh of relief when his building finally came into view. There was absolutely nothing he craved more than a hot shower, fuzzy socks, and some snacks.
But alas, fate had other plans for him.
Taehyun stopped in his tracks when he found none other than Kai in front of his door. He had his hand raised, seemingly to knock. Taehyun cleared his throat and Kai spun around.
“Oh, hi!”
“Hi,” Taehyun said, making his way past Kai to unlock his door. He felt Kai’s eyes on him the whole time.
“I’m sorry for just stopping by unannounced. I didn’t know what time you’d be back and just...” The door opened and Taehyun turned back to face him. Kai looked almost pleading. “Can we talk?”
With a sigh, Taehyun stepped aside, motioning for Kai to enter. “You’re gonna have to wait a little, though, because that flight took forever and the weather is disgusting, so I’d like a shower first.”
Kai nodded quickly. “Sure, okay, sorry, yeah, um... take your time.”
“There’s soda in the fridge if you want any. Just, like... take a seat, I won’t be long.” Taehyun told him, waving towards the couch. He headed to the bedroom as Kai awkwardly took a seat. He wouldn’t have expected the talk to happen so soon, but he also didn’t have the heart to send Kai away.
It was strange to see Kai again, talk to him again after weeks of silence – save for the Christmas text.
Taehyun headed to the bathroom and took a quick shower. It wasn’t quite as relaxing as he’d wished, especially not with his mind running a mile a minute, but it felt good to wash the grime of the journey off himself.
He quickly dried off and got dressed in a big shirt and a pair of gym shorts, steeling himself for the conversation ahead with a deep breath.
Kai was still right where he had left him when Taehyun entered the living room, nervously twiddling his thumbs. He didn’t sit next to him, but instead opted to put on some soft ambience music to cut through the awkward silence.
Finally, he faced Kai again, though he remained where he was, standing a few steps away from the couch.
“Alright, talk...”
Kai continued to twiddle his thumbs, so uncharacteristically nervous. Taehyun hated the unnatural tense air between them. “Well, to start off, I’m really sorry.”
“You already said that,” Taehyun pointed out, bitterly remembering the text Kai had sent him after the party.
“Not to your face,” Kai told him and rose from his seat. He didn’t step any closer yet, though. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long, Tyun, really.”
“Then why’d you run away right after?” Taehyun tried not to get distracted by the fact that Kai had apparently been keen on kissing him for quite a while.
Kai lowered his head in shame. “That was a real shitty thing to do. I’m sorry. I started panicking because my last relationship was such a damn mess. And I wanted to approach things differently with you, but then I went and messed it all up and I panicked because I was scared to trust myself.”
Taehyun fidgeted. “You know, it would have been fine if you had just talked to me about it for a second. In case you didn’t notice, I wanted to kiss you too.”
“I know,” Kai said, blushing, “I... I guess I got into my own head. I figured it was fucked up of me to do this with you before I managed to sort out my mess with TJ once and for all.”
“He was there that night too...”
“I know, but I sent him to hell when he approached me. For good, this time.” Kai finally stepped closer. “I should have handled the situation better instead of panicking and running away and I don’t know why I was so fucking immature about it. But I do know that I’ve been in love with you ever since we were teens. And I never want to lose you again. These past few weeks without you have only made that clearer.”
Taehyun's heart lurched in his chest at the confession. Since they were teens?
“So... do you maybe think we can reset and start over?”
Taehyun looked up at Kai’s pleading face.
“No,” Taehyun told him flat-out. Kai’s shoulders sagged. “But, we can move on and try again. What you did hurt, and it confused the hell out of me. I know that I needed this time and distance to sort everything out. But I love you, Kai. I always have.”
Kai entire face lit up at Taehyun’s last words. Taehyun approached him, Kai’s breath hitching the slightest bit at the new level of proximity.
“I’ve missed you,” Taehyun said quietly.
Kai’s gaze wandered down to his lips. “I’ve missed you, too, Tyun. I spent the last three weeks kicking myself for how I handled things. I’m so sorry...”
“And I was extremely pissed about it. But now... hearing that you love me...”
Kai cupped his cheek, looking into his eyes. “I do love you. So fucking much...” He rested his forehead against Taehyun’s, his thumb caressing his cheek. “Can I kiss you, Tyun? This time I’ll do right by you...”
Taehyun nodded, too drunk on Kai’s touch already to bother with a verbal answer. Kai didn’t waste another second, closing the gap between them, his lips meeting Taehyun’s. It wasn’t unlike last time, needy, passionate, hot.
Kai licked into his mouth, eliciting desperate moans from both of them. Taehyun felt his body reacting to Kai’s hands trailing down his chest and to his hips only to finally slip under his shirt. He obediently lifted his arms when Kai pushed the fabric up and over his head, mindlessly flinging it onto the couch. He cupped Taehyun’s face with both hands, kissing him again, harder, needier.
Taehyun directed them the few steps till they reached his bedroom, never breaking apart. Once more, he was struck by the thought that he could kiss Kai forever.
And once more, things happened differently.
Though this, Taehyun would argue, was a good kind of different.
Kai dropped to his knees, his hands already at the waistband of Taehyun’s shorts as he looked up at him with shining eyes.
“Want you in my mouth. Please, can I? I’ll be good, Tyun, I promise...”
Taehyun let out a shaky moan as he looked down at his best friend begging on his knees for his cock. He was already tenting the fabric of his shorts which did not go unnoticed by Kai.
“You can do whatever you like to me,” Taehyun finally said.
Kai whimpered and desperately nuzzled Taehyun’s clothed crotch, making him keen at the friction. Seeing Kai so eager for him was so fucking hot he had no idea how he was going to last.
Kai’s fingers hooked into the waistband of Taehyun’s shorts, pulling them down almost hastily. He let out a needy groan when Taehyun’s cock sprung free, licking his lips like it was the greatest delicacy he had ever laid eyes on.
Kai looked up at him through his lashes when he opened his mouth, his tongue tracing one agonizingly slow lick over the tip before he took him in his mouth. His eyes fluttered shut and he made a satisfied noise in the back of his throat that sent a pleasant spark up Taehyun’s spine.
Taehyun’s knees buckled, his ass landing flat on the low mattress behind him. Kai was unfazed by the shift, eagerly taking Taehyun deeper in his mouth without struggle. He looked entirely blissed out from nothing but sucking cock. Taehyun gasped when Kai pulled off to look at him, his eyes slightly watery, voice raspy when he opened his mouth to speak.
“Pull my hair, please? I love having my hair pulled...”
Taehyun’s head was spinning but he obliged, running his fingers through Kai’s soft black strands once before tightening his grip and pulling.
The guttural sound Kai let out paired with the way his eyes rolled back in his head made Taehyun’s cock twitch pathetically. He guided Kai’s head back onto his length, biting his lip at Kai’s persisting eagerness. His big hands came to grab Taehyun’s thighs, throwing the right one over his shoulder as he let Taehyun set the pace.
“Fuck...” Taehyun exhaled, his voice quiet but dripping with want.
Kai whimpered when Taehyun pushed him all the way down on his throbbing cock, eyes closing blissfully when his nose met Taehyun’s pelvis. A few tears ran down his pretty face, but he didn’t seem to mind at all.
Kai’s grip on his thighs tightened every time Taehyun’s cock hit the back of his throat as he took what he was given with a slack jaw and glazy eyes.
“God, Kai, you’re so good...”
Kai whimpered prettily at the praise.
Taehyun rolled his hips a few more times, unable to take his eyes off Kai; his fluttering lids, his pink lips stretching around the girth of Taehyun’s cock, the pretty flush on his cheeks.
As much as he loved the sight and as tempting as the thought of cumming down Kai’s throat was, he needed more. He tightened his grasp on Kai’s ruffled hair and pulled him off his cock, earning himself a needy groan.
“Come up here,” Taehyun said breathlessly.
Kai climbed onto the mattress, chasing Taehyun’s lips. Taehyun wrapped his leg around Kai’s hip, arching into Kai’s body as their tongues met without any care. Right now, the two of them were the only people who existed in the world.
Kai’s lips left his to trail further down, peppering Taehyun’s jawline, the slope of his neck, over his collarbone, down to his pec.
“Wanted to do this since I first saw how fucking ripped you are...” he said between kisses. Taehyun’s skin felt like it was on fire in the wake of Kai’s kisses. “Wanted to fuck you right in that pool, no matter who’s watching.”
Taehyun moaned at the thought, his hand finding Kai’s hair again, but not guiding him this time. Kai’s lips found Taehyun’s rib tattoo and he trailed his tongue across the ink, fingers trailing his inner thigh.
Finally, Taehyun couldn’t take it anymore. He needed Kai now.
He flipped them around, nearly ripping Kai’s shirt from his body in his haste to get him into the same state of undress as himself. Luckily, Kai seemed to be getting just as impatient, shimmying out of his pants. Taehyun gasped at the sight of Kai’s hard cock, pink tip leaking.
He was huge.
“Lube in the drawer,” he said impatiently. Kai reached for it and rummaged around before pulling out a half empty bottle. Taehyun occupied himself with leaving kisses over Kai’s chest, tonguing at his perky nipples and making Kai’s cock twitch against his thigh. It was still surreal to him that they were like this right now, naked in bed together, as Kai slicked up his long fingers and circled them around Taehyun’s entrance.
Taehyun exhaled shakily and dropped his head onto Kai’s shoulder, panting as Kai breached his hole with one finger. His hands desperately pawed at Kai’s chest, hips grinding down against Kai’s cock.
Kai groaned quietly, bucking his hips up to meet Taehyun’s as his fingers worked inside him, a second quickly added. Taehyun bit his lip at the stretch. It had been a while since he had last fingered himself and Kai’s fingers were longer and slightly thicker than his own. He keened at the feeling, rolling his hips back against his fingers.
Judging by Kai’s pretty sounds he was just as desperate as Taehyun but seemed intent on taking his time. Taehyun felt Kai’s significantly larger cock against his own and silently thanked him for not rushing this. After all, Taehyun hadn’t had sex in way too long and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to take it with rushed prep.
“Kai...” he moaned when Kai finally added a third finger, looking up at Taehyun with those shining eyes. His main goal seemed to be pleasing Taehyun which was an unexpected turn-on. Taehyun rode back against his fingers, his neglected cock bouncing with each movement, leaking precum onto Kai’s pale skin. “Kai, please, I can take it... I need you now...”
Kai’s eyes raked over Taehyun’s body as he crooked his fingers against his prostate, making Taehyun mewl. He repeated the action a few more times before finally pulling out his fingers. Taehyun immediately felt empty, but he forced himself to be patient as he watched Kai line up at his entrance. He squeezed a generous amount of lube over his hand, slicking himself up some more.
The glide was almost easy with how well Taehyun had been prepped and how much lube Kai had used. Still, it was like an out of body experience for Taehyun to finally sink down on Kai’s cock, taking inch by inch of him until he was fully bottomed out. Kai’s hands were on his hips, chest rising and falling with heavy pants.
Taehyun threw his head back in bliss as he took in the delicious stretch. God, it really had been way too long. And the fact that it was Kai making him feel like this caused another glob of precum to leak from his tip. Kai watched it dribble onto his own skin and licked his lips as if he was eager to lap it all up. Maybe Taehyun would let him suck him off again later if he liked it so much.
For now, he merely lifted his hips before dropping back down, eliciting a groan from Kai and a punched-out moan from himself.
He didn’t stop there, repeating the action almost painfully slowly. Kai’s fingers dug into his skin so hard Taehyun hoped it would bruise. Kai’s pretty, pink lips were parted, allowing every sound to escape freely.
Taehyun leaned forward to lick into Kai’s mouth again, swallowing down the needy moan he got in response. Kai’s hands moved to his ass, giving it one appreciative squeeze before he held Taehyun in place, planted his feet on the mattress and started fucking into him.
“Fuck...” Taehyun whimpered against Kai’s lips, breaking the kiss to let his forehead rest against Kai’s shoulder and rolled his hips back to meet his thrusts.
Their pace was rushed, desperate...
They had been waiting for this for so long, and Taehyun couldn’t help himself, he already felt so close to the edge.
Kai sat up, the shift in angle making Taehyun’s eyes roll back in his head. He steadied himself with one hand on the mattress, the other wrapping around Taehyun’s lower back as he kept thrusting into him.
Taehyun clung to Kai’s shoulders. “Kai, I’m so close...”
Kai’s lips found his neck his hand leaving his waist to wrap around Taehyun’s cock, making his back arch. Taehyun keened at the touch; the tight coil inside him snapped and he finally released over Kai’s hand and stomach.
Taehyun felt like he was floating, shaking while Kai stroked him through his orgasm.
He was still hard inside of Taehyun and when he made to pull out, Taehyun clenched around him, cupped his cheeks and kissed him.
“Stay inside...” he said against Kai’s lips.
Kai kissed him back, cock twitching inside Taehyun. With a grunt, he rolled them around again, so Taehyun was on his back once more. He began to suck hickeys into the skin of Taehyun’s neck again, whimpering from still being buried deep inside without moving.
Taehyun’s hand found his hair again and he pulled, hard, bringing his lips to Kai’s ear. “Fuck me, Kai... use me till you’re done...”
Kai’s hips bucked in response, and he let out a choked moan; he hooked Taehyun’s leg around his waist, keeping a tight grip on his thigh as he started moving in earnest. The sound of Kai’s hips snapping against Taehyun’s ass filled the room.
Taehyun was reduced to punched-out moans and whimpers, holding on to Kai for dear life. The overstimulation hurt, his body was quivering, tears threatening to spill over, but he loved every second of it, loved the feeling of Kai’s cock stretching him so well, loved the wet squelching sound of lube as Kai fucked him hard and fast like his life depended on it.
“Kai...”
All it took was Taehyun’s broken moan and another tug at his hair for Kai to finally spill inside of him. He held Taehyun close while he rode out his orgasm, panting, lips tracing the slope of Taehyun’s neck.
He went slack on top of Taehyun, nuzzling him. Taehyun tangled their legs together and wrapped his arms around Kai’s neck, holding him close.
“Aren’t I too heavy?” Kai asked.
Taehyun chuckled fondly. “Baby, I can bench press, like, double what you weigh in my sleep.”
Kai nuzzled his neck with a pleased little hum. “That’s hot.”
Taehyun laughed quietly and continued to play with Kai’s hair, content to stay like this, cockwarming him as they basked in the afterglow together.
“Was that okay, by the way?” Kai asked, suddenly sounding timid. “I haven’t really topped in a while and–”
Taehyun placed a gentle finger on Kai’s lips. “You’re perfect.”
Kai smiled, his cheeks flushing. He stuck his tongue out and licked Taehyun’s finger, making him squeal. “Really? I have my cock in your ass, and you get squeamish about that?” Kai laughed.
“Fuck off,” Taehyun laughed, tracing two fingers over Kai’s bottom lip, eyes following the movement intently. “Do it right at least...”
The mood shifted again in an instant as Kai’s eyes darkened and he wrapped his pink lips around Taehyun’s fingers.
“God, you really love having things in your mouth, don’t you?”
Kai nodded, never breaking eye contact. Taehyun could feel him getting hard again and he bit his lip at the prospect of another round. He slowly fucked his fingers into Kai’s mouth, watching his eyes flutter closed as he sucked on them. Taehyun clenched around Kai’s rapidly hardening cock, making him stutter.
“Tyun...” Kai breathed out, leaning down to slot their lips together. The kiss was slow, yet no less filthy; open-mouthed, more tongue than anything else. Kai’s hand had found Taehyun’s and he laced their fingers together next to his head.
Kai’s thrusts were slow and deep, the complete opposite of their previous round. Now, they were merely tangled up together, panting into each other’s mouths, unhurried. Taehyun’s hands lightly trailed down the broad expanse of Kai’s back, legs locked around his hips. His cock was trapped between their bodies also fully hard again.
Kai came first this time, filling Taehyun up once more. Taehyun mewled at the feeling of Kai’s cum leaking out of him. His back arched off the bed when Kai’s hand found his cock again, bringing him over the edge once more with slow, deliberate strokes.
They made out like this for a while longer before Kai finally pulled out. Taehyun winced when he felt the cum staining his sheets.
“Made a mess there, didn’t I?” Kai chuckled, wrapping his arm around Taehyun’s middle to pull him closer.
“Doesn’t matter, I’m never letting you leave this bed again,” Taehyun told him, nuzzling his face into Kai’s shoulder.
“I can absolutely live with that,” Kai chuckled.
***
Eventually, the two of them started feeling gross and begrudgingly ran a bath. Kai was leaning back against Taehyun’s chest, content at having his hair played with again.
“How was home?”
Taehyun smiled. “It was nice. I met my mom’s boyfriend, and they seem really happy. She seems happy.”
“That’s good. She deserves it,” Kai retorted.
“What about you? How was your Christmas?” Taehyun felt Kai tensing up the slightest bit.
“I... well, I kind of made an ass of myself in front of my whole family.”
Taehyun frowned. “How so?”
Kai sighed, fingers tracing Taehyun’s kneecap. “I got kind of wasted. Ruined the mood and had a huge fight with my dad about it. He called me a disappointment. And I know he didn’t mean it and he’s already apologized for it but he... he’s kind of right...”
“Kai...”
“No, really, he’s right. My relationship with TJ became so toxic that I was a nightmare to everyone who knew me almost the entire time it went on. I couldn’t stand being around him without being at least buzzed. And then, when I finally ended it, the thing that didn’t stop was the drinking. It’s taken a toll on my behavior and the way I treat the people around me. Including you.”
Taehyun remained speechless for a moment, trying to think of a way to respond. “So... would you say you have a drinking problem?” It hadn’t gone over his head how often Kai had resorted to alcohol in the few months they’d spent getting to know each other again. It had worried him, but he hadn’t dared to let himself fear for the worst.
Kai merely shrugged, keeping his gaze trained on the bubbles in the tub. “I know that my first instinct is to grab a beer after a stressful day at uni. I know that social situations make me way more anxious when I’m sober than they ever used to, and I know that I ruined my family’s Christmas because that guy tried to get in my head again and instead of talking to somebody about it, I drank. Just like that day shortly before Thanksgiving.”
Kai shifted and climbed out of the tub, reaching for a towel. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring down the mood, Tyun.”
Taehyun followed suit, leaving the tub and wrapping himself in a towel. “You didn’t ruin anything. I want you to talk to me. I want you to tell me everything that’s on your mind. And I will not judge you for it.”
“What if you don’t want to be with me anymore?” Kai asked, casting his eyes to the ground, wet hair dripping onto the floor.
Taehyun stepped closer and cupped his cheek, making him look at him. “I love you, Kai. I’ve loved you for years. And I want to be with you. I know your relationship was toxic, you’ve told me as much. So, please... just talk to me.”
Kai nodded silently, his eyes watering. Taehyun kissed his cheek and gently pulled him along to his bedroom where he handed Kai a pair of boxers and a shirt. He pulled out the same combination for himself and got to changing the sheets. Kai headed to the kitchen to get them something to drink and soon enough the two of them were comfortable in Taehyun’s bed again with steaming hot cups of coffee.
Kai was fidgeting with the blanket, seemingly gathering the courage to keep talking. “Are you sure you want to hear about my ex?”
“I’m sure,” Taehyun said, wrapping his arm around Kai’s shoulders. “All of this is clearly eating at you. You told me a million times that you’re fine and I never really believed it. Please, Kai. I want to be there for you...”
“Okay,” Kai said dejectedly. “I guess I was already not in the best place when I met TJ. My professor was giving me a hard time about something regarding my grade, and I just wasn’t dealing with it too well. Instead of working harder to appease the professor I went out drinking with classmates almost every night, ended up flunking that class. Which I dealt with by getting drunk.”
Taehyun made a noise of acknowledgment and rubbed Kai’s shoulder in an attempt to soothe him as he opened up.
“I met TJ that night at some frat party my classmates dragged me to. I was completely wasted already, and we danced together and... well, he took me to his place that night and we hooked up. The next day I told him I wasn’t looking for anything and he said he wasn’t either but somehow, we kept running into each other and at some point he asked me out. And at first it was fine. We had fun together; we drank a lot together... but we also weren’t compatible at all when we were sober. The smallest things would escalate into the biggest fights. We would always have sex to make up for the fact that we kind of couldn’t stand each other outside the bedroom. And I figured I didn’t even like that part that much either... but for a while it felt like he was all I had.”
Taehyun frowned. “What about Beomgyu?”
“He had his own troubles going on with Yeonjun and Soobin at the time, and he hated the fact that I had ever started seeing TJ in the first place... I didn’t feel like I could really vent to anybody, so I coped with sex. And drinking. Oftentimes together because TJ... well, he said I was more fun when I’d had a few drinks.”
Taehyun’s fist clenched in his lap, and he was struck with a not-too-unfamiliar urge to punch TJ square in the face.
“It turned into just fights and sex and drinking like in a bad movie before I finally pushed the brakes.”
“What made you do that?” Taehyun asked curiously.
Kai tugged on the loose strand of the blanket. “I knew he wasn’t with me exclusively.”
“He cheated on you?”
“Yeah... and I know that makes my hooking up with him afterwards all the more pathetic.”
Taehyun looked at him, squeezing his shoulder slightly. “That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s what the others seemed to think when they found out...” Kai said dejectedly. Taehyun frowned. He really loved their friends, but he might have to have a word with them about how they had handled Kai’s struggles. “They didn’t outright say it, but...”
“Well, you’re still not getting any judgment from me,” Taehyun reassured him.
Kai looked back at him for the first time, a small smile playing on his lips. He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Taehyun’s lips. “Thank you, Tyun...”
“Don’t even mention it, babe...” Taehyun replied, smiling and rubbing his shoulder once more. “Want to go on?”
Kai sighed and nodded. “It’s just... today was one of the first days in way too long that I didn’t drink anything before leaving the house to come see you. I guess I kind of started to rely on the way the alcohol makes me feel when I’m about to enter a stressful situation and I’m scared that it’s getting out of hand.”
“The fact that you’re saying this already means that you’re willing to do something about it. Whatever you need, Kai, I’m going to be there for you.”
Kai cuddled into his side. “Thanks... I was thinking about maybe getting help before it gets too bad. Like... I don’t want this to be something that destroys me. I can’t trust myself when I drink.”
Taehyun kissed his cheek. “Then let’s do that. You’re strong, Kai. I know you don’t believe it sometimes, but the fact that you know when to ask for help proves that you are.”
“I want to be,” Kai told him as he wrapped his arms around his middle. “I never want to disappoint you again...”
Taehyun brought his hand up to Kai’s hair and gently ran his hands through it. “This isn’t about me, babe. I want you to do this for yourself.”
“I will. I am.”
“Good.”
***
“Taehyunnie, good to see you’re back,” Yeonjun said, greeting Taehyun with a tight hug when he and Kai walked through the doors of the little apartment Beomgyu and Kai shared.
“It’s good to be back. I’ve missed you guys,” Taehyun said with a smile. “Sorry for keeping my distance and being kinda prickly towards you before Christmas.”
“Don’t mention it, it’s just good that you and Kai seem to have made up,” Soobin pointed out with a grin that bespoke he knew more than he let on.
Taehyun chuckled and took Kai’s hand. “Yes, we’re all good now.”
“More than good, actually,” Kai retorted.
Beomgyu looked at the two of them, a smile playing on his lips. “It’s about damn time, you two.” He got up and approached Kai, nodding in the direction of the kitchen where the two of them disappeared.
“What’s that all about?” Taehyun asked curiously.
“They got into it right before New Year’s... Kai told Beomgyu that he felt like he was judging him all the time and then he just left. We were worried for a while until he texted that he was safe. Beomgyu felt horrible about it, so he’s been anxious to apologize to him,” Yeonjun explained
Taehyun nodded in understanding. “I’m glad they’re sorting it out.”
Soobin hummed in agreement. “Us too... their friendship took a hit over the past year. And we should have made it better, probably. But Beomgyu can be stubborn, and Kai has a hard time opening up...”
“I noticed,” Taehyun said with a faint smile while sitting down on the couch. “Anyway, while those two have their talk, how was your Christmas?”
Yeonjun smiled fondly and exchanged a glance with Soobin. “On Christmas Eve, we exchanged the annual party for a night in, just the three of us. The next day we drove to Soobin’s parents’ place. Beomgyu’s and my parents were there too, and we all spent the holidays together. It was fun.”
“Sounds like it,” Taehyun said with a fond smile. He was just about to tell them about his own holidays when Beomgyu and Kai emerged from the kitchen. Kai took a seat next to Taehyun and Beomgyu sat in Soobin’s lap. They both looked like they had been crying.
Yeonjun looked from Beomgyu to Kai and back. “Are you two alright?”
“Yeah, we’re good,” Kai assured him with a smile. Beomgyu nodded in agreement. A quick gaze and a subtle nod told Taehyun that Kai was telling the truth. He offered him his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
The five of them continued to catch up until Soobin got up to make them all dinner and they had another impromptu movie night which resembled a cuddle pile more than anything else.
“Now that Taehyun and Kai are a thing, we should get to work on our polycule,” Beomgyu threw in when Yeonjun and Taehyun provided fresh popcorn bowls.
“See, sometimes you say stuff like that, and I don’t know if you’re kidding,” Taehyun said, setting a bowl down on the coffee table. Beomgyu only winked with a cheeky grin before Soobin engaged him in some playful couch wrestling.
Taehyun felt a tug on his arm and was promptly pulled into Kai’s side which he had only left to make more popcorn. “We can discuss that later, for now I want to be Taehyun’s one and only boyfriend~”
“Don’t give a man hope, Huening Kai!” Beomgyu exclaimed dramatically from underneath Soobin who was trying to tickle him.
Taehyun only laughed at their antics, glad to see that they seemed to have properly made up. Generally, Kai seemed carefree and happy as their night progressed without a single drop of alcohol in sight.
***
Kai made good on his promise to get help and Taehyun supported him through it like he said he would. Their friends also showed support when Kai fully opened up to them as well. Overall, Taehyun could only say he was proud of his boyfriend for making an effort to get better and heal from all of the things that dragged him down last year.
TJ didn’t show up again, which perhaps had something to do with Taehyun stealing his number off Kai’s phone and sending him a mildly threatening text he seemed to have taken to heart.
Taehyun’s mother surprised Taehyun by flying in for his birthday, Mr. Shim in tow. Kai was over the moon to see her again, too, and they even made time for a visit to Kai’s family home, so their mothers could have a reunion, too.
“It’s a shame you guys are going back,” Kai’s mother said.
“I know...” Taehyun’s mother retorted. “But if you have time, we’ll see each other again fairly soon!”
And it turned out, Taehyun’s mother had yet another surprise in the form of wedding invitations. Taehyun couldn’t say he had seen this coming, but he still got up to give his mother and soon-to-be stepfather a hug, telling them how happy he was for them.
***
“Kai...?” Taehyun started when they lay in bed in Kai’s old room. Kai’s family had convinced Taehyun’s to stay over instead of making the drive back that same night.
“Hm?”
“I’ve been thinking lately,” Taehyun continued. “I graduate in June and then I was technically set to go back home.”
Kai sighed and pulled Taehyun closer in his arms. “I know... I’ve been trying not to think about that, actually.”
“I really like it here, you know. I like being close to you and I love hanging out with our friends and your family and... I just really feel at home here, too. I’m not sure I want to give it up.”
“What are you saying?” Kai asked carefully.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m acting crazy but right now I’m feeling like I don’t want to go back to Korea.”
Kai sat up, looking at him wide-eyed. “Does that mean... you’re staying?”
“I have to talk to my mom about it, but she seems fine. And yeah, of course I’d miss her, but I think I this is what I need to do.”
Kai surged forward and kissed him, making Taehyun squeal and laugh against his lips. He pulled Kai closer, his hands trailing up his arms and shoulders before finally tangling in his hair.
“I love you...” Taehyun said against his lips. “Every morning, I wake up and I thank whoever is listening that I found you again.”
“Are you gonna make me cry or are you gonna kiss me stupid,” Kai asked with a chuckle.
Taehyun reconnected their lips, pulling Kai on top of him. Kai’s leg slotted between Taehyun’s, grinding down against him.
“Babe–” Taehyun gasped. Kai’s lips trailed down his jawline and his to his neck. “Kai... our families are literally down the hall.”
Kai chuckled, nipping at Taehyun’s earlobe, grinding his thigh against Taehyun’s rapidly hardening cock. “And?”
“And... do you really wanna do this when they could overhear?”
Kai kissed him again, slow and deep, his hand coming to rest on Taehyun’s hip. “I guess, you’ll just have to keep me quiet.”
Taehyun’s breath hitched with the implication. He let his hands wander under Kai’s shirt, pulling it over his head and flinging it aside. His eyes raked over Kai’s chest, licking his lips.
“Like what you see?” Kai asked with a grin, kissing him again.
Taehyun placed his palms on Kai’s pecs, giving them an appreciative squeeze. “Love it. I love you, I love your body...” he said. He kissed along his collar bone and down his sternum. “I want you so bad.”
Their tongues met in another heated kiss as their clothes landed on the floor. Kai guided Taehyun’s hand behind his back to his ass and Taehyun’s breath hitched when he came into contact with something hard between his ass cheeks.
“Jesus fuck... did you... were you wearing that the whole time?”
“Mhm...” Kai responded, panting into his mouth when Taehyun tugged on the plug.
“Tell me you brought lube...” Taehyun said, fucking the plug back into Kai’s hole and licking into his mouth for another filthy kiss. Without breaking their kiss, Kai reached beneath his pillow and produced a travel-sized bottle of lube. Taehyun broke their kiss to stare back at him. “When did you...”
“Stashed it here after we arrived,” Kai mumbled against his lips. “I knew I wanted you to fuck me tonight... I could barely think about anything else all night...”
Taehyun let out a quiet groan, pulling the plug free and setting it aside. He maneuvered them around, so Kai was on his stomach, his face half-buried in the pillow, ass in the air. He squirted a generous amount of lube on his cock, biting his lip to stifle another sound as he slicked himself up.
“You’re such a slut for this, baby... wanting me to ruin you in your old room, wearing a plug all day long. You’re really that desperate?” Taehyun draped himself over Kai’s back, speaking directly into his ear. Kai whimpered in response, muffling the sound in the pillow. “Are you sure you can keep quiet? I know how loud you get when I fuck you...”
Taehyun lined up at Kai’s hole and his boyfriend pushed his ass back, stifling a needy moan in his forearm. “Please, Tyun... please, I’ll be so good... I’ll mmfh–”
“I know, baby...” Taehyun interrupted him by shoving two fingers into Kai’s mouth, watching the way his expression turned almost serene as he fucked into his boyfriend, carefully at first to make sure his bed didn’t creak. He tried not to think about how mortified he would be if anyone in the house caught on to what was going on. Luckily, Kai’s bed didn’t make a sound, so Taehyun dared to go faster.
Kai whimpered around Taehyun’s fingers, slicking them up with saliva as he tried his best to suck on them while Taehyun began to fuck him with sharp quick thrusts. Kai shivered pleasantly when Taehyun left a wet trail of kisses on his neck and his shoulder blades, hips rolling unrelentingly.
“You’re taking me so well, baby... always prepared to get dicked down,” Taehyun teased him, feeling Kai clench around him in response. “Fuck...”
“Tyun...” Kai’s whine was muffled around Taehyun’s fingers, but he didn’t have to say what he wanted. Taehyun wrapped his hand around Kai’s body, fisting his cock in time with his rapid thrusts. Kai made a noise in the back of his throat, his eyes rolling back in his head as he desperately tried to meet the snap of Taehyun’s hips.
“Baby, we’re being too loud...” Taehyun warned him. “Don’t make me gag you for real.”
Kai’s body promptly went rigid at his words and Taehyun reacted just in time, trying to catch his release with his palm before anything dripped onto the sheets. Kai moaned around his fingers, hips weakly rolling back against Taehyun’s cock his body relaxing completely as he collapsed onto the mattress, spent.
Taehyun pulled out, still hard but his main focus was making sure they weren’t going to get found out in the long run. He reached for his bag with his clean hand and pulled out some wet wipes he kept for this particular reason, cleaning his hand before he rolled Kai onto his back and cleaned him up as well. Luckily, the sheets had been spared.
Kai reached out to paw at his chest as Taehyun hovered over him to clean him up. “You didn’t cum yet...”
“I know, baby, that’s fine,” Taehyun told him fondly.
“Tyun...” Kai said pleadingly.
“I forgot to pack condoms. We’re gonna make a mess,” Taehyun told him, pressing an apologetic kiss to his shoulder.
Kai traced his hands down Taehyun’s sides, nuzzling his neck and leaving a few kisses there in his wake. “Not if you plug me up again~”
Taehyun groaned at the mere thought, his cock twitching with interest at the suggestion. He lined up at Kai’s entrance again without further argument, throwing Kai’s right leg over his shoulder and leaning forward to silence his noises with kisses. Kai’s blunt nails dug into his skin, his spent cock already coming back to life.
Their kiss was no more than tongue and spit as Taehyun tried to get himself to the edge. One of Kai’s hands came down to wrap around himself as Taehyun hit his prostate with every stroke of his cock. He arched his back of the bed, whining into Taehyun’s mouth, sounding like absolute sin.
Taehyun almost forgot where they were when he came inside his boyfriend with a shaky moan. He shook through the aftershocks especially when Kai tightened around him before cumming a second time, all over his stomach.
“Plug...” Taehyun panted. Kai patted around on the mattress for the butt plug and handed it to Taehyun. He pulled out and swiftly slid the plug back into place before going for another set of wipes. Kai gathered Taehyun in his arms, letting him rest his head on his chest.
“I can’t believe we just did that here...” Taehyun said with a half-mortified chuckle.
“They didn’t hear a thing, I’m sure,” Kai assured him, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “I love you...”
Taehyun craned his neck to look up at him. “I love you, too.”
They dozed off together, not bothering to get dressed again since Kai had been foresightful and locked his door when they had retired for the night earlier. Taehyun felt content like a cat, entangled in their embrace, his cheek squished against Kai’s chest, his steady heartbeat soothing him to sleep.
***
“By the way,” Taehyun began the next day as they gathered their stuff, getting ready to head back to the city. Kai who was on all fours, checking under his bed for his charger straightened up to look at him and give him his undivided attention. Taehyun grinned. “I haven’t formally asked you yet.”
“Asked me what?” Kai asked with a raised brow.
“Will you be my date to my mother’s wedding?”
Kai laughed and got up, taking Taehyun’s hands in his. “It would be my pleasure, my love.”
Taehyun smiled wide and silly, suddenly overcome with a fresh wave of love and affection for this man. Kai gave him that little half smile that Taehyun had fallen for when they were tweens and leaned down to kiss him.
“At this point you two should be the ones getting married,” Hiyyih’s voice caused them to break apart. Taehyun flushed crimson, both at her words and at getting caught by Kai’s family.
“We got together like six weeks ago!” Kai exclaimed.
Hiyyih cackled. “After pining for seven years! God, longer, actually. I remember when you were thirteen–”
Kai chucked a plushie at her and she fled, her laughter carrying down the hall. Taehyun chuckled; his face was still flushed but his heart was full.
“She’s not wrong, you know,” Taehyun said with practiced nonchalance as he got back to packing his bag. “Maybe about the timing,” he chuckled. “But if I ever get married it’s to you or not at all.”
A silence followed and Taehyun turned around, anxious he might have overstepped and come on too strong.
When his eyes landed on Kai, he found his boyfriend gaping at him, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. “You mean it?”
Taehyun dropped his shirt into his bag and wrapped his arms around Kai’s neck. “Of course, I mean it. Who else would it be if not you?”
“I’m going to propose to you right the fuck now, Kang Taehyun, don’t even test me,” Kai said, sniffling but smiling.
Taehyun laughed. “Not yet.”
“In a year then,” Kai said, looking right into his eyes, conveying just how serious he was about this.
Taehyun kissed him, playing with a few strands of Kai’s slightly grown-out hair. “In a year.”
“In a year.”
-End-