Collide

by iceicebaby12

Summary:

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Seeing Kate Bishop again after years of being like this, now famous, as the goddess I always thought she is reminded me of even how her touch was on my hair.

But, no, I can't afford to remember her. It's over. She'll never hurt me again.

 

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide

 

Collide - Howie Day

 

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Chapter 1: The Cabriolet

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My Garage is my sanctuary. With every car that comes in on my beloved “Red Room Motors” , I become more skilled, with every part placed in its spot… with every single bolt tightened… I earn my day and understand that I indeed choose the right path and am exactly where I should be.

I just finished assembling the last wheel of the Audi Cabriolet I bought a few years ago. Even though it's a '95, the previous owner kept everything in place with original parts. A 2.8-liter V6 engine is now impeccable… front-wheel drive and a 4-speed automatic transmission are intact… It's a gem… there were no major issues when I found it… It's just a regular convertible… a real cabrio… elegant… comfortable… if it weren't for its significance… it would be perfect.

"Yelena… I'm wrapping up for the day… there's nothing you can say to make me stay one more minute in this Garage..."

Peter, my assistant, was as passionate about engines and getting covered in grease as I was. He's been coming to my Garage since he was a kid and started helping me with whatever I needed a few years ago. We help each other with much more than just cars.

"I resent you, kid… you mean working 12 hours a day for a shitty wage doesn't make you happy?" I groaned, straining to tighten the nuts on my baby.

"Wow… this is getting better and better… are you sure I can't take MJ to the prom in this beauty?" He whined for the thousandth time, letting his fingers dance across the car's shiny body.

I sighed at the mere mention of a damn prom and this car.

I've been in his shoes. I was desperate to impress a girl with this same car. It's a shame life always works like a heartless bitch with the most well-intentioned people.

I can't believe I wanted to marry that bitch…

"I already said no… besides… you can… go ahead… and then have bad luck in love for the rest of your life…" I joked as usual, watching the boy sit heavily on a truck tire.

"Ahhh, not this shit again… you're not saving the world because you took this car off the streets, it won't bring me bad luck… relax, Black Widow…" He joked, and nothing could stop me when I let the wrench in my hand fly right past his head.

"Don't call me that…" I growled, approaching him to grab him by the shirt.

"I… sorry, man… I… shit… don't hit me again… I just… sorry…" He whimpered, and I huffed, letting him go.

My eyes burned with tears, and I quickly pulled myself together. I won't cry over a woman… much less over a heartless demon.

"Just go away… and forget about this car… if you really want to do something for yourself… stop trying to impress MJ with a damn car… that girl is smarter than all the others… buy her books, idiot… take her on trips… watch movies with her… take courses… read books… learn things, fool… be as smart as she is… otherwise, she'll leave without you, and you'll never be able to catch up because everything in the world will be more interesting than you…" I growled my resentment, throwing the keys in their place, tidying up everything to escape this Garage, go home, and get drunk thinking…

Yes, Peter… Do as I say, or you'll become a drunken failure smelling of grease like me…

"I'm so sorry for joking, Yel… seriously… I know that…" He approached, helping me tidy up, and I breathed out my anger, looking at him.

"No… you don't know… now get out of here… go take your girl to the movies… and then go home… you have a test tomorrow…" I said without looking at him, and he touched my shoulder.

"I know you think I'm not listening… you think I'm a silly kid… and worse… you think you're not impressive… but I've been listening to everything you tell me since I was a little boy… I heard everything… and if I want to and will do a lot of cool things… it's to make you proud… it's because I learned from you… I have a profession thanks to you… you know that, don't you?" He said emotionally, and I smiled shyly, trying to hold back the damn tears that I won't let fall for anyone else in this life.

"Cut the crap, fool… how much do you need?" I said, marking my steps toward the office, and he followed me.

"Don't be like that, it wasn't about money… I truly see you as my role model… I want to be exactly like you when I grow up…" He said earnestly, and I let my eyebrows invade my hair to show him that I invented the damn magic he wanted to play on me, still waiting for the blow.

"Okay… Ineedyourmotorcycle…" He said something I wished I hadn't understood, and I looked at him incredulously, which curiously had not yet retreated.

"Seriously? You… I must be getting old… I could swear I heard you talk about my motorcycle…" I said, taking some cash from the register to stuff into his pocket, still not backing down.

"Please, Yelena… I'm begging you… I just… let me do something cool for MJ, and I promise I'll buy the books and do the whole cultural thing with her… but… man… I'm a mechanic, and I don't have my own car… I can't keep being dropped off by you or her mom…" He whined almost stomping his feet, and I sat down, looking for a beer while I ruminated on the shit the boy I practically adopted was explaining to me.

I could teach him in countless ways with drawings… photos… tests… whatever… how what he was saying was nonsense… but I also think… The boy doesn't need more problems trying to fit in than he already has. Peter doesn't have his parents… and no one but me as a family figure… I can do something nice for him, and I will.

“Sit down… let’s talk properly…” I pointed to the tire from earlier, and he sat, looking resigned, as if he knew I wouldn't help him.

“Yel… if you’re going to say no and give me those lectures… we can do this another time… I just… it’s fine… I’m saving up, and soon I’ll buy my own car… I just…” He said sadly, and I felt guilty for dampening his spirits.

“Hey… no… wait… sorry for being hard on you sometimes… I just want to apologize for that… You know better than anyone… things haven’t been easy these past few years… and I… okay… what I mean is that you… I don’t want to regret this, okay… and you have to promise me that you’ll never do something stupid like riding drunk…” He jumped up to hug me.

“Let me finish, idiot… look… we’ll do it like this… for now… you can use my motorcycle… and we’ll build one of the cars for you…” I said before being interrupted by more hugs. Damn hugger.

“Can I have the ‘95 Jaguar?” He asked, and I growled.

“Kid… don’t push your luck… I’m not giving you my Jaguar… that’s not the point… just… damn… okay… we’ll sort it out when you graduate and get good grades… don’t forget I’m spending a fortune on your fucking MIT…” I grumbled, and he kissed my cheeks, shouting with joy.

“Thank you, thank you… I promise I won’t mess up… and today… I just want to go to Cedar… you know… it’ll be nice… the river… the lights… I want to talk to her about the future… like you told me… define things before having to leave…” He said gently, and I totally gave in. My boy will be a good man.

“Just go away with the bike, kid.” I said, lifting him off my lap to get ready to leave as well. “And no life-threatening stuff… no drugs or alcohol, okay?” I said, grabbing his jacket and the keys to push him toward the bike.

“The tank is full… wear the damn helmet, and God help you if you crash this bike… I’ll press your body against the metal at the junkyard… now get out of here…” I said, faking my usual bad mood, and he laughed.

“I’ll take care… Are you sure you don’t need help closing up?” He offered.

“No… I’ll just organize everything and head home… tomorrow you open… I need to go to Brooklyn to get some parts…” I instructed, and he left, looking happier than ever.

God. It’s exhausting… but I wouldn’t trade Peter for any other human in the world. The boy is my best friend and my most loyal employee.

I went back inside and continued tidying up. I cleaned the floor, took care of the ramps and the balancers, everything was perfect for tomorrow. I took a quick shower, sat down to close the register, and relax with a beer when I heard knocking on the Garage door.

“What the hell… these damn tourists… they don’t even read the signs… WE’RE CLOSED, DAMN IT!” I walked over, ready to give a piece of my mind to whoever it was, but when the door banged against the ceiling, I felt my heart and jaw drop.

“Can you help an old friend with a flat tire?” The voice from my most restless dreams and nightmares sounded like knives cutting through my skin.

I couldn’t speak… I don’t even know if I was breathing.

Katherine Bishop stood before me, looking sweaty, dirty, and tired from probably pushing… a motorcycle?

What the hell is this?

I couldn’t have a better reaction…

I closed the door again, turning my back on this ghost. It’s not real, it can’t be real, and I don’t want it to be.

I let my determined steps take me back inside the Garage, knowing the illusion would fade away…

"YELENA BELOVA... OPEN THIS SHIT OR I'LL KNOCK THIS DOOR DOWN!" The ghost shouted, and I halted my steps.

A ghost… just… threatened me?

She just… maybe I should make sure this bitch becomes a real ghost…

“YELENA… JUST… SORRY, SORRY… PLEASE… I NEED… HELP… YOU CAN’T DENY ME… IT’S BEEN 10 YEARS, DAMN IT…” She shouted, banging on the door, and I trembled at the noise, the words, the implications…

Yes, Kate… it’s been ten years… ten years since I should have killed you…

“Please, Yelena… let me in… it’s cold…” She said more softly, and I ground my teeth, walking back to the door. I’m not a monster, and if it’s like before, this demon is probably already catching a cold.

I would fix the damn tire like a Formula 1 mechanic and kick her out like a lover. All to avoid getting arrested…

Yes, I’m too pretty to go to jail.

I opened the door only to almost vomit at the sight of her relieved smile. The eyes disappearing… the happy sigh… I held tightly to the door, watching her brace her weight on both feet, seeming to gather some courage.

“Listen… I know I’m the last person you’d want to see right now, but I…” She began to babble as only she could, and I cut off all the nonsense, stepping up to grab the motorcycle and push it inside. 

“And then this thing just… I couldn’t get this little thing on the dashboard to work… and then…” She kept talking, and I wasn’t the least bit interested.

I just put the motorcycle on the stand and checked the tire damage. Tear... valve torn off... bent wheel... bald tire... spokes twisted... sounds like it was in some accident. I quickly removed the wheel before checking the motorcycle's handlebars, and as expected, it had been involved in at least a frontal collision.

Did she fall off the damn bike?

I finally tuned back into her. She was still complaining about all the little things that hadn't changed around here.

"And these roads never improved... can you believe the highway rest stop doesn't sell beers anymore?"

"It's just Ohio, you're riding, you don't need to drink, are you hurt?" I said absentmindedly, and her gaze seemed puzzled.

I glanced at the dirty clothes now in the light. Expensive and tight jeans... expensive and well-polished boots... soft leather jacket that seemed to cost as much as a used car... but what caught my attention the most was her T-shirt... white... spotless... no bra involved as usual. I averted my eyes but kept thinking about the whole scene before me very clinically.

"Oh no no... I didn't... I just... out of nowhere the bike stopped and then... I managed to stop..."  

She lied blatantly or fell at another time with this bike... but my theory is always the same... she's lying... She couldn't be riding a bike with handlebars like that, and the wheel in that state wouldn't even be running straight...

I didn't want to investigate any of this. I just needed to fix everything as quickly as possible, so she would leave, and no one would need to talk to anyone.

"So, you work here?" She said, approaching to grab a tire beside me noisily. Annoying as always.

I leaned my elbows on my knees and looked at her. "Kind of..."

"I like it... the owner has good taste… style... How long have you been working here?" She persisted in useless curiosity.

"Is there any reason why I should be interrogated at this hour, Katherine?" I growled my words, and she sighed, offended.

"Aw... we don't need this energy... it's not an interrogation... I'm just... trying to talk to an old friend..." She said, feigning, and I snorted, dropping the wrench on the floor.

"Okay... let's get straight to the point... I'm not your friend... I don't owe you an explanation, and I would like to work in silence."  My demand was met with a sigh, and she made a comic gesture of zipping her mouth shut. I bit back the smile that wanted to escape me.

I can't go around smiling at her nonsense.

After a few minutes of trying to straighten the wheel with a hammer, I gave up. She's rich... she can pay for a new wheel. A wheel that I don't even know how she bent without dying in the process.

"Your wheel is no good anymore... I'll check if I have one in stock... you can make yourself at home... there's a bathroom in the office and the kitchen is stocked."  I offered as I would to any customer, already walking towards the stock at the end of the Garage.

*

You have few real chances in life... and when they come, you need to seize the opportunity and go after what you want without looking back and without worrying about anyone or anything they might say.

That's pretty cool... it's written on the back cover of the biography some idiot made without my consent. Obviously, I didn't authorize it and made the bibliographer's life hell. He's just a gossip with important friends, but I'm bigger. I'm much bigger now…

What's written on the back cover isn't a lie… I said that shit…  just like all the information contained there. And that's the problem. He included everything I did to get where I am. Not that I regret the nude photoshoot or the things I had to do to become the actress I am today.

That's a lie too... I do regret many things he wrote in it. He wrote? No... that I did... The trail of destruction I left around the world and the people I hurt to be where I am... It's all my fault.

The problem with existing and taking control of your life is that everything has consequences... and everything eventually falls back on you.

For example... the guy I tried to hurt by writing about me... simply stepped into the space of "I have nothing left to lose, and I'm gonna mess up your life."

There's only one person among those I hurt that I never wanted to hurt, even though I know she was the most hurt by everything I did.

If I'm honest... I don't really see it as me doing something wrong by pursuing a career instead of the woman I loved... No... I'm not that kind of hypocrite... but I didn't want to involve her in any of my mess or bring her into a world I know she doesn't want to be a part of.

"Have you decided what you want to do?" My agent, Clint Barton, seemed worried and very bothered after I decided to address the issue.

"I have no idea what I'm doing, but I don't have much of a choice... the least I can do is try to be the first to tell her about the contents of that shitty comedy that idiot wrote."

"Don't you think a phone call would solve it?" He insisted, packing his suitcase, and I crossed my legs more uncomfortable than ever.

"Clint... I can't be in that place before talking to her... for starters because-" I began, and he cut me off, laughing.

"Your theatrics are embarrassing... Nothing needed to be like this... You're adults now..." He said, pulling me to my feet. "At least she must be... you seem to have been frozen at 18... still beautiful and immature like the day I met you..." Clint said almost nostalgically, but my eyes filled with tears at what I know isn't a compliment.

It's not easy to hear that despite the years and the damage... I haven't really matured... It's like something got lost along the way.

"That hurts... you know... even though I know the truth..." I said, and he wiped my tears away with his best I-told-you look.

"I'm sorry, darling... I'm not paid to flatter you... I love you... but you know you're just reaping what you sowed... if what you've pulled off during the years I've known you is any indication and you're so scared..." He said, circling the room again, and I scoffed.

"I've tried calling her all week... but she never picked up..." I said softly, and Clint came back with our suitcases.

"Well... let's just try talking in person... Let's do it... it's not a mistake after all... anything's better than a cold call... why are we bringing a destroyed motorcycle there?" He asked perplexed as the truck assistant removed the bike and positioned it on the road.

"I have a dumb plan that might help me buy some time and get her attention... She's the best mechanic in Ohio... and she's not like any girl you've ever met... she'll probably beat the shit out of me... so my plan is just an attempt not to die... let's keep her hands busy while I tame the beast..." I smiled, trying to imagine her reaction, and he sighed.

"Ok... your head is your best guide... just don't be an idiot..." He groaned as we got into the car.

A short 20-minute car ride and a two-hour flight. That's what separated me from her...

Nonsense... What separates us could fill an ocean.

*

"Kate... tell me that your plan isn't just pushing this crap for a mile..." He asked, perplexed, as the truck's assistant removed the bike and positioned it on the road.

"I'm not doing that..." I replied, already doing just that.

This crap has to work... she would never welcome me without a good excuse.

I crawled all the way, cursing every little bad thing I've ever done, until I stopped in front of the Garage “Red Room Motors” that Clint told me now belongs to her… I remembered every time I told her she would never amount to anything... I dwelled on every word of discouragement from me.

I was exactly the kind of idiot who complained when she got a job at a downtown Garage but loved having my car fixed by her. I found it absurd to know that the girl who I... Let me tell you exactly what kind of idiot I am... I'm the kind of girl who didn't even acknowledge my own sexuality... and who rejected being associated with the most beautiful girl in the world just because I was an idiot, even though I was seething with jealousy because everyone seemed to want her as a girlfriend or a mechanic... I remember using the excuse and disgust of grease on more than one occasion when all it meant was that she didn't clean up properly to spend a minute with me... so yeah... belittling the profession she chose was just one of the crappy things...

Maybe it's a mistake to come here... Maybe that guy has a price and no one needs to know about it... maybe I...

Fuck it. I just want to see her at least...

Has she changed much?

Those eyes...

I released the bike, which I have no idea how to operate, onto the sidewalk in front of the huge building. Damn. She not only made it... This is a large Garage. Complete... Just like she always told me it was her dream.

I walked past the small window display next to it, displaying many parts and supplies. She also has a shop... I closed my hands over the glass to get a better view, smiling with all my teeth... She had everything she ever dreamed of...

Everything she dreamed of? Did she get married? Does she have kids?

A family was all she wanted...

A calm and safe life was all she asked for...

The certainty of unconditional love...

She didn't even want money...

She just wanted to be happy... with me...

She must have found a good girl for sure... Many girls wanted her before. Even from neighboring towns. Before she saw her whole world in me, as she used to joke... She met all the pussies within a 300km radius.

My fist hit the giant gate hard as I remembered how everything changed the last time we saw each other...

There's no point in reliving that shitty night. We both made too many mistakes.

"What the hell... these fucking tourists... they don't even read the signs... WE'RE CLOSED, DAMN IT!” Her complaint could already be heard by me. I closed my eyes tightly, my chest was sore with the rough beats of my heart. I can't feel like I used to... I came just for a conversation... I came just for...

The smaller door opened, rolling up to the ceiling, and I felt all my air leave me. The thing is... Yelena has always been the most beautiful girl in the world to me... now?

Now she's simply the most perfect woman in the universe... What's with all these muscles? And this short hair? Where are the long waves? And where did the soft baby cheeks go? When the hell did she get that sharp jawline?

She seemed as shocked as I was... Her eyes seemed to be warning me that she would soon panic. I need to speak...

"Can you help an old friend with a flat tire?" I said, trying not to despair at how much more wonderful she is now, but she just froze there looking more beautiful, swallowed hard at my presence, and simply pulled the door shut before turning her back on me... She closed the door in my face?

The same little mean woman... the same nice ass as always... maybe things haven't changed that much...

Do something, idiot.

"YELENA BELOVA... OPEN THIS SHIT OR I'LL KNOCK THIS DOOR DOWN!" I shouted, immediately censoring myself for the threat as useless as it was childish. I don't know if I can knock down a fly, let alone Yelena Belova.

Apologize. Now.

"YELENA... JUST... I'M SORRY, SORRY… PLEASE... I NEED... HELP… YOU CAN'T DENY ME... IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS, DAMN IT..."

What the hell is wrong with you?

What happened to the plan of not being killed by her?

I need to do this much better, but I'll have to be clever again. One last lie. She never tolerated seeing me cold. I need to use that now.

"Please, Yelena... let me in... it's cold..." I said with my best act.

She opened the door again... and I smiled with full force. God... she's still really the same cool girl?

Did she fall for this shit?

It's not shit. She's a good woman who would do this for anyone. And she once cared about me. I'm not surprised by that... I'm just surprised to know that I don't deserve it and she still opened the door for me. She was looking at me almost like before...

I gathered up the courage, knowing exactly how I wanted to handle all of this. I would lie to get her to listen to me, and then I would be 100% honest with her.

“Listen… I know I’m the last person you’d want to see right now, but I…” I started, watching her entire face assume a mask of coldness as she stepped up to the stupid bike I had almost forgotten about.

I followed her blindly, watching as she effortlessly pushed the bike as if it weighed nothing. The heavenly ass... the incredible arms... God... and she smells like heaven itself. The short hair looked soft... I need to keep talking... before this used to soften her... She loved it when I rambled... thought it was cute. So I rambled on and on... “And then this thing just… I couldn’t get this little thing on the dashboard to work… and then…” but this was different... It was obvious she wasn't listening to me... She only seemed to have eyes for the bike.

She put the bike on a stand in yet another display of perfect muscles that made me speak more slowly to watch everything from her perfect body. She was circling the bike, checking everything... she crouched down, sitting on the floor. I almost wanted to ask her not to sit with light clothes on the dirty floor, like I used to, but I swallowed my nonsense.

She was still fiddling with everything on the bike and I stayed quiet. I crossed my arms just waiting for her to finish so I could call her for a beer and then we'd talk seriously like two adults.

At some point, she started looking at me intently. Checked my entire body... is she really checking me out now? I need to distract her. Let's try to get her to listen to my crazy rambling this time.

"The bar you liked is still open... I saw... and the hardware store changed... can you believe I hadn't seen a printed newspaper stand in ages, this one here remains intact... and these roads never improved... can you believe the highway rest stop doesn't sell beers anymore?" She looked at me still looking unimpressed with me and I took a deep breath.

Shit, this is hard...

"It's just Ohio, you're riding, you don't need to drink, are you hurt?" She said absentmindedly and I looked at her confused when she looked at me as if she were looking for injuries. I looked at my own clothes knowing they were dirty... but why would she talk about injuries?

She looked from me to the bike, touching the crooked handlebar, and I almost gasped. Damn. The bike is all fucked up. She thinks I crashed. Right. No. I'm not gonna approach her with that.

"Oh no no... I didn't... I just... out of nowhere the bike stopped and then... I managed to stop..." I blatantly lied and she raised an eyebrow without looking at me. I didn't like that. She was just going to ignore.

This person looks a lot like my Yelena but clearly is very different in her behavior. I need to do this better.

"So, you work here?" I said approaching her to pull a tire next to her loudly, because I wanted her to look at me... talk to me... I want attention.

She snorted, resting her elbows on her knees and looked at me, seeming tired of me. "Kind of..."

Damn... who is this woman? This isn't my Yelena.

I have to keep trying... my Yelena has to be somewhere beneath the layers of coldness of the woman in front of me.

"I like it... the owner has good taste… style... How long have you been working here?" I insisted on my useless curiosity. I know all of this is hers. I'm damn proud of her. I wanted to tell her that.

I thought she would answer me but instead she took a deep breath before growling at me. "Is there any reason why I should be interrogated at this hour, Katherine?"

My name on her lips felt wrong... there was no warmth... no affection... I missed... Milaya...

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I'll try one more time...

"Aw... we don't need that energy... it's not an interrogation... I'm just... trying to talk to an old friend..." I said trying to joke and she snorted loudly dropping the wrench on the floor. I rearranged myself on the tire curious about what she would do, censoring myself because I understood that I shouldn't annoy someone I clearly don't know anymore.

"Okay... let's get straight to the point... I'm not your friend... I don't owe you an explanation, and I would like to work in silence." I immediately complied with her demand. Because while I've always been a stubborn bitch, I've never been one to disrespect her boundaries. I closed my mouth with a childish zipper. And almost groaned with joy seeing her bite her lips to hide a smile.

First victory... Whenever I gave in to what Yelena wanted... I never regretted it.

I watched carefully all the following movements. She realized her slip-up and closed herself off again.

She fixed her beautiful hair all to one side of her head and it fell over her eyes in the most infernal way possible. My hands itched to touch her again.

I bet it would feel as good as it always did... She must still be soft everywhere... Forget the softness... I bet the calloused fingers are much better now...

Just when I was about to let all my thoughts about how good we used to be go, she spoke again.

"Your wheel is no good anymore... I'll check if I have one in stock... you can make yourself at home... there's a bathroom in the office and the kitchen is stocked." She offered already walking to the stock at the end of the Garage.

I looked at the office pondering all my options. My trembling body made me blindly walk there. I would have a full shower and also mess with all her defenses.

She also needs to deal with the new Kate Bishop.

*

 

 

 

 

 

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Chapter 2: Who invented the wheel?

Summary:

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Kate's drama isn't convincing Yelena. It takes much more than words and some audacity to achieve the desired action.

 

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Notes:

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As always... you can tell me what you think of all this craziness here or on X @onlycoments, everything is appreciated. Thanks as always for the incredible support in all my stories.

This helps me a lot and makes me very happy.

 

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*

 

 

 

 

I circled through the entire damn stockroom, grumbling like an angry woman denied her basic desire.

I own the largest Garage in the region—Red Room Motors—for six damn years. I built this building with my own hands. People from across the country rely on my restoration and mechanical services. I've always prided myself on having every part needed for any wheeled vehicle. If not new parts, they can count on my junkyard service. I have thousands of cars in the back lot, dozens of bikes...

So, to walk through this empire I built and not find the one damn wheel I need has put me in a near manic state of mind.

I can't not have this damn wheel here...

If I don't have this shit here...

I won't be able to get rid of the woman haunting my deepest nightmares...

I sat on the floor of my stockroom, head in hands, unsure of what to do. Her bike would have to stay here until at least tomorrow. Until I could go out and fetch the damn wheel.

I could go now...

Everything's closed... it's 10 PM...

I fished my phone out of my pocket, feeling on edge. I need someone to get this for me... someone to help me rid myself of Kate Bishop.

Calling my sister seemed right, but I hesitated because I knew she'd help me get rid of Kate but would end up in jail. She swore she'd kill Kate if she ever laid eyes on me again. I can't afford that kind of situation.

Peter... no... the boy's on an important date... probably talking future with the girl he loves...

Sonya's out of town...

Damn it... no one but myself...

Okay... I can handle this... it's simple... the bike stays here... she leaves... and picks up the bike when I get the wheel... or she leaves with the bike as is... Very simple... I'm not obligated to fix everything...

I'm not obligated to deal with her... not after everything we've been through... and she's lying... that bike's been in an accident... and she's not hurt... she doesn't even seem to know how to ride a bike... and she doesn't have a helmet...

Why would she lie?

I stood up, determined to extract the truth from her.

*

A shower was much welcomed. I needed to relax, and I did. Now my plan was to lay out the whole truth to Yelena and try not to get killed in the process.

I stepped out of the small bathroom wrapped in a tiny towel I found in the closet, taking in the clean, well-decorated office. Everything seemed to have her touch. I glanced at the photos on the wall—Natasha and Sonya... God, I missed those people... I missed everything about this place... One photo showed Yelena with a boy who caught my eye. She looked proud of him. I scrutinized all the photos, trying to piece together her life, but something seemed missing. It was hard not to connect the woman I saw today with the girl I once knew.

I wandered around the office, finding everything beautiful. The sofa in the corner looked inviting... the desk was in perfect order as she always preferred... Her chaotic yet beautiful handwriting on the papers made me smile broadly... does she still write poems?

I walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer to calm my nerves, feeling a chill of fear about talking to Yelena after ten years...

I sat on the couch, legs propped on the small table in the middle of the room, feeling confined. It was strange to reminisce about everything I'd been through with this woman. Once, it was so easy to handle her... and now... she seems like a stranger to me... acts differently... speaks differently... There's no more mischievous sweetness in her manner. No more easy flirtation.

I'm different now too... The huge ring on my finger made me tremble when I stood up to put it away in my jacket. I shouldn't have come here... but I'll deal with all the consequences of my decisions from now on.

*

I nearly ran back to see that she had taken up the offer of the bathroom. I could only see her head and wet hair through the window. Okay, no need to make this more complicated than it already is. I'll go in there and I'll tell her everything I have to say about the bike and kick her out. Just that.

As I opened the door, two things happened at once. First, I saw the demon of my nightmares dressed only in a towel, and then the picture frame above the door hit my head.

The curse I shouted served for both blows I took.

She was touching my head and face in seconds.

"Hey... are you okay? What... breathe... is this... hurting a lot?" She said, touching my forehead and then touched the top of my head to see any possibility of me being injured. I tried to step back with one step and she closed the distance.

"I... I..." She looked worried and too close. My head was throbbing in a completely uncomfortable way.

"There doesn't seem to be any cut on your head... just on your forehead... c’ mon..." She pulled me slowly to the couch and I still couldn't move, I just touched my forehead. The hot liquid told me that was the reason my head was throbbing.

She moved away to walk through the room holding the damn towel... did she have to choose a hand towel? Why didn't she dress?

"Where's the first aid kit?" She said, opening a closet. The way she crouched made me gasp loudly.

"I take care of that myself..." I moaned, squeezing my eyes, and she snorted loudly looking for the kit.

"Don't be stupid... I’ll take care of that... it's just a band-aid..." She growled running to the bathroom. Her quick moves while she kneeled in front of me with a wet towel made me even more nervous.

She gently wiped my forehead but everything burned.

"Damn it... sorry, Milaya ... just breathe... I'm just going to clean and stop the bleeding..." She spoke softly, and I widened my eyes at the word she called me. I immediately moved back, leaning against the couch to create some distance.

"What's wrong? I'm just trying to help you... you don't have to react like this..." She said sadly, her hand still in the air, and I sighed, unable to respond.

She used to call me that since we were girls. Ever since she decided to learn Russian to understand everything I said.

"What's on your mind, Yelena?... Tell me what you're thinking..." She whispered, and I scoffed.

"Never call me that again..." I muttered through gritted teeth, closing my eyes, and she gasped, probably understanding what she said.

"I... I'm sorry, Yelena... I... it wasn't... I just wanted... old habits... I didn't come here to bother you..." She said softly, and I opened my eyes to see her sitting on her heels, looking at the bloodstained towel.

Here we go. Let's focus. She came here for a reason. One that I didn't know... one that is probably important. Nothing brought her back home in these ten years... not even a funeral...

"And why did you come here, Katherine?" I said, propping myself on my knees with my elbows, and she slowly rose to approach, showing the towel and pointing to the wound. I waited a few seconds, but I felt the trickle of blood running down my brow and nodded reluctantly.

"I lied to you today..." She said, starting to clean the wound, and I bit my lips in anger. I knew it! I let my entire face soften so my emotions could be kept in check. This conversation won't happen with me being emotional. She only deserves my coldness.

"You always have some lie kept for me... what is it today?" I said, and she looked at me carefully through her work on my forehead.

"First of all... can you not do that thing?" She said, opening the kit to get what she needed. I looked at her with my eyebrows raised, feeling the cut burning even more.

"It's not like you can demand much... but tell me... what thing?" I growled lowly, leaning closer so she could apply an ointment, and she smiled.

"The thing is those little angry growls... there's no need for that... it's just me..." She said gently, finishing with the ointment, and I growled loudly.

"Katherine... as I said... you're not in a position to ask anything of me... and worse... my angry state is because you're invading my space with a lie... I knew something was wrong... what I want to know is why you're here. Answer quickly and be wise... I haven't decided if I'll call Natasha yet..." I threatened completely, and she laughed loudly, making me clench my fists in anger. The damn smile remains perfect.

"Kate... don't play the funny one with me..." I growled approaching and she backed away still laughing with her hands in defense.

"Sorry for laughing... it's just... well... I expected you yourself to kick my ass for being here... although I appreciate that you haven't told Natasha anything yet... I... well... can you please disarm yourself?... You're making me nervous..." She said with teary eyes, sitting on her heels... everything about her posture was fear, maybe shame.

I'm not a monster. I can be kind even if I'm angry and she doesn't deserve it. It's not about her. It's about me. It's for me.

"You can speak, Katherine... I don't have my gun here... I'll be kind to you despite hating everything about you." I said softly. I really don't have any weapon in me right now.

The sad look in her didn't change, but she continued to care for my wound in silence for a few minutes.

"Do you still like guns?" She said quietly, and I laughed.

"Is that how you're going to make small talk with me, Katherine?" I said laughing and she smiled along.

"I don't have many options... and also... can you stop using my full name?... it makes me feel punished..." She whined and I laughed even more.

"You're getting much more than you deserve just for me being here, Katherine... don't push it... just say why you're here... why did you lie?" I grumbled with her touch to put a small butterfly on my cut.

"Okay... let me finish this and then I'll talk..." She said softly, working slowly to clean my cut, close the butterflies, and put on the band-aid correctly as I taught her so many times. I watched everything about her beautiful, well-kept, precise hands. I used to love touching her soft hands, letting my lips dance across her fingers while she explained anything to me.

"Done... now let's talk..." She said sitting completely on the floor to cross her perfect legs. I swallowed hard because the moment she sat comfortably I wanted to die. It was all there... no hair as she always preferred... just soft flesh... beautiful... I gasped, bringing my two hands to my face.

I can't... What the hell am I...

"What did I do now, Yelena?" She complained and I moaned loudly.

"For God's sake, can you put on some clothes before... I can see... you... and... damn..." I pleaded and she laughed out loud.

"Damn it... sorry, Milaya ... I just... I didn't mean to..." I didn't dare look at her as I nervously waved my hand. "Just get dressed, Katherine..." I heard her moving around the room with my eyes squeezed shut from the effort of keeping them closed.

"Okay, you can look now... please... I'm sorry about that... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable... I didn't come here for that..." She apologized, and I finally opened my sore eyes to see her in jeans and a T-shirt.

I took a deep breath, leaning against the sofa with my arm covering my eyes. "Now speak, Katherine... clearly this meeting is getting weirder by the minute."

She sat at the table in front of me, crossing her hands on her knees.

"Don't be dramatic... you've seen me naked a million times..." She whimpered, and I growled loudly.

"Straight. to. the. point. Katherine!" I gritted through my teeth.

"Okay, okay, I know it's weird... I know... and I can't guarantee it won't get worse... to start with, I lied... I still don't know how to ride a motorcycle, and I pushed it for a kilometer just to have an excuse to come here..." She said in one breath, and I laughed bitterly.

"I didn't even... Just you, Katherine... a phone call letting me know you're coming..." I said, laughing, and she snorted.

"Even if you had answered... which you didn't... would you have let me come here?" She said skeptically, and I laughed.

"Absolutely not... I wouldn't have answered you... and probably if I knew you were coming, I would have Natasha with me here to welcome you..." I choked on my laughter, and she snorted.

"See?... so I was right... my plan was good, admit it..." She said touching my knee with a finger, and I straightened up, remembering that I shouldn't be fraternizing with this bitch.

"Don't touch me, Cука. Now tell me... what's worth a lie and a trip here after ten years… You didn’t even come back to… don't you have a fiancé waiting for you at home?" I snapped, and she quickly moved away from me.

"God, Yelena... you don't have to be so rude... stop treating me badly... there's no need... you don't need to hurt me by bringing that up... it still hurts me... I had my reasons for not coming back that day... and damn... I'm not having this conversation with you now... yes... I didn't come here just for a courtesy visit... I lied to have time and your attention... because something happened, and I wanted you to hear it from me..." She said seriously, and I became concerned.

"What the hell did you do now? And how could this shit affect me?" I said much less inclined to be gentle.

"Well... a guy wrote a biography about me... and he's going to publish a lot of personal things..." She said waving her hands in the air casually, and I looked at her more attentively than I have in all the time she's been here.

"Right... look... I don't want to be rude... but I can't see how this is any of my business... also, it surprises me that you're mistaking me for someone who cares about anything in your life..." I spat out my words between my teeth, debating whether to get up and leave this shit conversation.

"You know about my fiancé... seems like you keep up with some gossip..." She said sharply, and I invaded her personal space with my hand on her neck and my arm around her throat. The firm grip was much less than she deserved for daring to provoke me here in my territory.

"I'd like to warn you again... I'll tear you apart like I should have done the day you left... don't mess with me, Katherine... I'm not the stupid, lovestruck girl who licked the floor you walked on anymore... I'll wipe my garage with your face in two minutes... lower your tone or get out..." I squeezed tightly, seeing her bruised expression shift from sadness to fear.

She lightly touched my arm, pleading with her eyes for me to let go, and when I did, she quickly moved away, sitting on the floor far from me.

"I... I... you're scaring me... just stop... I just want to talk... I wanted you to know from me... I wanted you to know how this can and will affect you..." She cried out her words, and I softened.

"I don't care about your tears or gossip... this is your life... not mine..." I said, pointing a finger at her and then at my chest, angrily pacing around the shitty situation I put myself in by letting her in here.

"Why the hell do you treat me like this? What did I do to you, damn it? You're the one who cheated... why do you act as if..." She complained, standing up and pacing the room.

I sank into the couch, looking at her. This argument felt like déjà vu.

"You think you have the right to attack me like this... to speak to me in this horrible tone... while I know I hurt you... don't act like you're a saint... what you did was worse... what I did was just..." She cried, and I shouted in frustration.

"This conversation is pointless... I want you to leave now," I said, walking towards the door, but she stomped her foot on the floor.

"I'm not leaving... we're going to talk," she said, coming over to me, slamming the door with force and pulling me by the arm back to the couch.

"How dare you? Let go of me!" I protested, trying to break free from her, but she didn't release me until I was seated on the sofa again. I tried to stand up, and she pushed me back down.

"Yelena... I swear to God... don't try... I'm not the helpless girl I used to be either... I came here to have some dignity with you... I wanted to tell you... that people are going to know your name... they're going to know about us... they'll know what you are... damn it... what you were... to me... I just wanted you not to hate me for one more thing... this is damn hard... Do you think it's easy to come here? Do you think after everything we've been through... coming back here... doesn't hurt me?" She cried again, and I felt my own tears fall.

The resentment I feel towards this woman is so strong that even though I know her words aren't wrong, I still didn't want to accept it.

"I want you to leave or let me go... I can't talk to you right now," I whispered, and she took a deep breath.

"I'll leave, Yelena... but this conversation isn't over... we'll need to talk... and I'll come back here for that... I'll stay in town as long as it takes to sort this out... I'll try again tomorrow... maybe even to resolve more than just this," she said firmly, but I didn't see anything else. My tears, thick with the deepest sorrow I've ever known, came back to me.

The last thing I heard was the door slam.

I remained on the couch with my tears for hours until I fell into the unconsciousness of sleep filled with images of her, like every night.

*

 

 

 

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Chapter 3: On Your Own Wheels

Summary:

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In today's chapter, everyone tries to learn how to get their own wheels.
Let's try once more, this time with feeling. Everything here is about trial and error.

 

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Notes:

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As always... you can tell me what you think of all this craziness here or on X @onlycoments,
everything is appreciated.

Thanks as always for the incredible support in all my stories.

This helps me a lot and makes me very happy.

 

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---

 

 

 

 

*

 

I woke up feeling like I’d been run over, thanks to sleeping on the couch. I’m too old for this shit. I replayed everything she said last night in my mind, trying not to go crazy. The clock on the wall told me it wasn't even 7 AM yet. After several minutes of spiraling, I decided I needed coffee in my system before losing my mind any further.

As I got ready in the tiny bathroom, I finally noticed my swollen face from all the crying. There was no way I could explain what happened to my sister, so I opted for peace of mind. I wasn’t about to start a pointless war. I’d just start my day from here and deal with everything else later.

Kate cannot and will not interfere with my routine. It’s not fair.

I blindly searched for my phone among the couch cushions, cursing loudly when I saw dozens of missed calls from my sister. Damn it. I spent a few more minutes while making coffee, debating if calling her back was the right move. But I knew avoiding her would only make things worse. My sister isn't used to me staying out without an explanation; she’ll know if I act weird. She always does.

She picked up on the first ring, as usual.

“Finally, you show up... you could’ve called...” she said, sounding worried. I sighed.

“Good morning, Sestra... sorry for not calling... a client showed up after hours, and I ended up crashing here...” I started before she had a chance to interrogate me.

“I was worried, but the boy told me you stayed at the Garage... I assumed you just slept on the couch...” she said, sounding busy. “Are you coming home now, or...?” I sighed softly at her concern, unsure if I should tell her everything or not.

“I’m not... I’m heading to Brooklyn to pick up some parts... I’ll be back this afternoon... see you at dinner...” I said, already getting up to get organized.

“Alright. Be careful on the road. Love you.” She said hurriedly, hanging up before I could respond.

“I love you too, Sestra.” I said to no one, stopping in my tracks when I saw Kate’s abandoned jacket. I immediately grabbed the beautiful piece, inhaling her scent and feeling like the biggest idiot in the world for putting myself through this complete mess.

As I stopped being pathetic, a ring fell out of the pocket, making me growl loudly as all the resentment came rushing back in a single blow. It must be her damn engagement ring. I should’ve been the one putting a damn ring on her finger. The anger I felt made the cut on my forehead throb, and I took a deep breath to calm myself.

Everything I know about Katherine Bishop now is against my will. This engagement news hit me on the worst day. I drank through a day and a night with my heart shattered to pieces.

I don’t even know how she could...

She was going to marry me as planned... but she messed that up too. I always told her how I wanted to propose... she always knew what our special song would be... I had an entire plan that she knew about... Imagine my surprise reading in the magazine that she proposed to that idiot... yes... she proposed to him... exactly how I would have?

Just another reason to hate this woman...

I put everything, the jacket and the damn ring, in a trash bag and shoved it in a drawer. She said she’d come back, and I’d give it to her unless I decided to throw her expensive ring in the garbage. I hadn’t decided yet.

I’d work now and think about Kate Bishop later.

*

After leaving the Garage with my heart bleeding from the situation I put myself in, I walked blindly to the car where Clint waited, parked just a few blocks away.

I wiped my tears before getting in, taking a deep breath.

“Damn... that didn’t go well...” Clint said absentmindedly, putting the car in gear.

“No, it didn’t, but I don’t want to talk now... let’s go to the hotel... I just want to sleep and forget for a while about what Yelena told me.” I said, already closing my eyes, feeling utterly powerless.

*

I woke up the next morning thinking about her. I dreamt of her as I regularly do. It sucks, if something reminds me of her during the day, she invades my dreams at night, a solid reminder of what I did.

No amount of therapy has helped me understand what's going on in my mind. One theory was guilt... My therapist used to say that everything I try to avoid without resolving will keep showing up. It’s truly a disaster, but I get it.

The real pain is that not a day has passed since I left her that I haven't thought about her.

My phone rang, and I knew who it was, but I consciously chose not to answer. I can’t talk to Eli right now. He won't say anything new. With him, it's always the same script… nothing ever changes. I can predict his lines not because I know him like the back of my hand, but because he’s utterly predictable.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate him... I have to love him. I need to love this man. If I don’t... I’d be forced to let people have a part of me that wasn’t for sale...

Lie... it was never for sale... I gave everything I had to one person... more lies... I denied her everything... and here the endless cycle starts again... I’m already thinking about her again.

I marched briskly to throw myself under the cold water because I want to see her. We need to talk. I told her I’d come to see her today. This time she can’t complain that she didn’t know.

"What's the plan for today?" Clint asked over breakfast, glancing at a newspaper. I sighed.

"Everything here is about her... I’m gonna back there to finish yesterday's conversation..." I said, finishing my meal and walking around the room searching for my jacket, only to remember she had it.

I looked at my hand, feeling a chill. My ring was in the jacket pocket. I hoped she hadn’t seen it. She’d probably destroy that thing with one of her tools.

*

This time, walking into the Garage, I felt far less confident than before. In the daylight, the space seemed even bigger, and once again, I marveled at what she’d accomplished. My proud smile was genuine. I’m truly happy for her despite my nasty predictions and doubts about her dream. Now isn’t the time to think about that crap.

I walked straight to the guy I’d seen in the office photos.

“Hi, I’m Peter. How can I help you?” He said, extending his hand, and I smiled at the friendly boy, not minding the slightly greasy hand he quickly wiped on his pants.

“I’m Kate Bishop... I came-” I began, only to be cut off by the boy’s gasp and wide eyes. He released my hand, wiping his on his coveralls like I was the one dirty with grease. His audacity made me look at him curiously.

“No... you... are... damn... damn... damn...” He muttered, genuinely scared, glancing around. I assumed he knew who I was. I braced myself for the whole autograph and photo routine, but he pulled me by my jacket into the office, shutting the door while still looking around nervously. He ran to close the curtains with jittery movements. I was beyond curious but smiled anyway.

“God... sorry... but if she sees you here, you’re screwed... just... man...” He finally explained, breathless, and I understood.

He knows who I am... to Yelena...

I scanned the room for my jacket, finding no trace, then walked to the couch and sat heavily.

Coming back here was less problematic than I thought. Maybe I can do this.

I counted my breaths, still watching the frightened boy before me, deciding to be honest. Everything here had to be as truthful as possible.

“I suppose you know who I am... so it’s easier... where is she?” I asked quietly, and he sighed, going to the fridge, still seemingly fearful of causing trouble.

“She went to Brooklyn for parts... Do you want a drink?” He asked nervously, gulping down a bottle of water.

“No, thanks... Do you know when she’ll be back?” I asked, pulling my phone from my pocket to check the time.

“She’ll be there for a while... she doesn’t have her baby with her... so...” He said, organizing some papers on the table, trying to look busy. I eyed him curiously. 

Baby??? Yelena has a baby?

“Baby? What baby?” My question was direct, and he sighed.

“Not that kind of baby... it’s her motorcycle... it was with me yesterday, so... when she takes the car, she usually takes longer to bring more stuff...” He said, going to the window like a runaway. “I think she went to get bike parts from the yard...” He said, rubbing his hands nervously, and I decided I wanted to get to know this kid.

“So... the bike in the yard is mine... I brought it yesterday...” I said kindly, and he smiled.

“It’s a beautiful baby... I love it... where did you get it in that color? I was heartbroken to see the scratches...” He said solemnly, and I stood to go over to him, deciding to indulge him.

“Actually... It's pretty new... Can you tell me about it?” I asked, and he brightened, jumping to his feet.

“Sure... come with me... I know everything about that bike...” He said, leading us through the yard, completely forgetting his previous fear. He greeted other guys and started chattering about the bike, all excited. “It’s an Indian Scout... it has a 100 horsepower engine... impressive...”

I really like this kid. He seems nice. I understand Yelena’s look in that photo now.

*

I found the damn wheel, feeling relieved. It was truly a great bike, and I hoped she could keep it even though it was a lie. Which is silly to think because she was never interested in any of this, even to ride with me, she had a thousand demands.

Throughout the morning, I calmed down considerably. I didn’t want to go crazy. I needed to be sensible in this situation with her. Many years have passed, and she warned me she had something important to discuss. We have to be mature. The problem is that talking is easy. Thinking maturely is one thing, but in reality, my hands were sweating at the mere thought of her being close.

My phone rang, and I whimpered in relief at seeing Sonya's name on the screen.

"Thank God you called, man... you have no idea what happened..." I said before my best friend could even say good morning, launching into the whole story from yesterday in one breath.

"And then she left..." I finished tiredly, and she cleared her throat loudly.

"Yelena... I'm gone for a day and you resurrect none but Kate Bishop? What the hell is this? It's insane..." She said, surprised as I knew she would be.

"I completely broke down... it was horrible, Sonya... and now I don't know how it's gonna be..." I cried, and she scoffed loudly.

"Hey, this doesn't have to be complicated... just be yourself... talk it out... the sooner she speaks, the sooner she'll be gone... don't let it consume you... it's been a long time... we're talking 10 years..." She said wisely.

"I know... I'm calmer now... I've decided I'll handle this maturely... I wish you could come back earlier... maybe I'll need help with Nat, as soon as she finds out Kate's in town, she’ll freak out." I requested, and she agreed.

"Okay, I'll be home for dinner... just talk civilly... I know you think you need to be upset with her... but it's been 10 years... it's good for you to close this chapter... do things right... and don't worry about Nat and Kate... let them sort it out if it gets messy... they're adults... if Kate has to take a few punches, that's on her..." She laughed, and I finally calmed down completely.

"Man... Natasha's gonna kill her." I laughed, and she huffed. "Okay, sorry for joking... I just don't want any mess in my head... I got everything you said... and I really want to handle this peacefully... Well, I need to get back to the Garage... and when Kate shows up, I'll handle it the best way I can... see you later." I said goodbye, already walking towards my pickup truck.

No matter what happens, I won't lose my mind over Kate Bishop again.

*

"So... you've been working here for a long time?" I asked after hearing about 10,000 details about the bike. He’d talked too much. I wanted to investigate everything about Yelena's life now.

He circled the bike, looking at me carefully.

"Well... I was about 7... and now I'm 17... well... I used to come here with my dad... and then... he and my mom... were gone... and I started coming here every day... Yelena taught me everything... and a few years ago, I started working here..." He said proudly, and I smiled.

"And are you going to college?" I asked, and he smiled.

"Yeah, I'm going to MIT... thanks to Yelena..." He said, puffing his chest happily, and I marveled, whistling. He must be very smart, and Yelena must have made good money to support something like that.

"Wow... that's amazing, man... I think that's huge... you really seem like a smart guy... I like that." I praised sincerely.

"Yeah, I've always liked studying, and Yelena has always encouraged me a lot... I have a career... I have a roof over my head... I just don't have my wheels yet..." He finished quietly, and I looked at him curiously.

"Your wheels?" I asked, approaching, and he smiled dreamily.

"Yeah... I still don't have my wheels... but yesterday Yelena promised me a car..." He said, looking at the bike sadly.

"What's wrong? Isn't that what you want?" I asked, and he smiled.

"Yeah, of course I do... but I'm also passionate about bikes... yesterday I spent hours with hers, and man... the wind... the speed... one day I'll have one like yours..." He said happily, and I decided to indulge the kid. I don't need a bike, and he seems to really need one.

"Hey... so... you know who I am, right?" I asked quietly, approaching him to touch the motorcycle, and he nodded, confused.

"Something like... I know you're famous... but I know you mainly because you're... well... you're the unnameable one ..." He said cheekily, and I laughed out loud.

"Yeah, man... I'm the evil ex-girlfriend... but look, I'm not as bad as Yelena says... in fact, I'm really nice... so nice that... you see this bike here?" I asked, and he nodded, even more confused.

"Okay... this bike is yours now... I'm giving it to you... Yelena will fix it up, and it will be yours..." I said simply, and he just stood there with his jaw dropped and his eyes wide open.

"Shit... I... I... no, man... I can't accept this... Yelena would kill me... she..." He started, and before I could respond, I heard her voice.

"Why would I kill you?" She said, walking past us to the office, practically ignoring my presence.

"Good morning to you too, Milaya !" I exclaimed loudly, just to annoy her.

If looks could kill, I'd be riddled with bullets, but she took a deep breath, touching her thumb and index finger together in a comically exaggerated attempt to meditate and calm down, which made me laugh with delight. 

She still has the ability to make me laugh.

I was brought back to reality by the friendly kid's voice. "Yelena... she just said she'd give me the bike... but I didn't accept it, I swear... I just... I didn't even talk to her... I treated her really badly... she's not even nice..." He said, stepping back two steps from me, and I looked at him, shocked, no longer finding him so nice.

What a … little traitor...

"Little rat..." I said, smiling, and Yelena looked from me to him curiously before bursting into laughter.

"I'm not gonna kill you for that, Peter... you can and should accept the gift, she's rich and won't use this for anything... she probably doesn't even know how to start this baby... and it'll save me from spending money on a car for you..." She said, leaning against the door with her arms crossed, and I looked at her, smiling.

She seems in a good mood, and I felt completely warmed by her playful smile.

"I... I... so I can really have it?" He asked her, still trying to be considerate, and I winked at her, nodding. I've got this.

"Yes, little coward... the bike is still yours despite that... she's sending you to MIT, and honestly, I'd betray myself too." I laughed, walking closer to Yelena.

Yelena was looking at me curiously, almost sympathetically, and I understood that my gesture with the boy had earned me some points. I'm still good at flattering her.

"I wasn't serious... you're very nice... but you understand... Yelena is my friend here... and I have to say... if you hurt her, I'll run over your body with my new bike." He said, threatening, making both me and Yelena burst into laughter.

Little son of a bitch.

Yelena looked at me, pointing at him, clearly telling me that this was her boy. I continued looking at her perfect face, feeling encouraged to keep being nice. In the daylight, her golden eyes looked even better. They were just like before... I need to keep this good atmosphere.

"I'll..." Peter approached us, interrupting our 'eye contact' moment to take Yelena's bags. "I'll take care of this..." He said, and Yelena turned to him calmly.

"The boxes at the entrance have the parts for your new bike... go deal with that..." She said, ruffling the boy's hair, and he screamed happily, stretching to kiss her head and then my cheek.

"Okay, Pete... now get out... I have a meeting with Katherine, and I don't want to be interrupted... go!" She pushed him, opening the door for me with obvious politeness, pointing inside.

I walked into the room to sit on the couch, and she entered, heading straight to the bathroom to wash her hands. I watched her take off her boots and jacket, messing up her beautiful hair. She really does look gorgeous with that haircut. I sighed loudly because I know exactly how soft that hair is and what I could achieve if I held her just right... she'd do...

Shut the fuck up, you idiot.

"This new haircut looks really good on you..." I said, trying to recover from all the images invading my mind, and she stretched out of the bathroom to look at me with raised eyebrows.

"Again... you're still shitty at making small talk..." She said, returning to the room, drying her face with a towel. "Before we start the conversation... what you just did for Peter was really nice..." She said, smiling before sitting in an armchair away from me.

Her smile is still one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Having her smile at me without all the anger and hurt made me smile, shrinking timidly. "It was nothing... he's a good kid... I was happy for him about MIT, it's really impressive, so I offered it... it's a good graduation gift, right? He seemed sad about-" I said, and she cut me off, laughing.

"About not having his own damn wheels... God... I love that kid... but he's so silly... he thinks he'll be much cooler than he already is... he's going to MIT, he's something like a super smart kid, he's handsome... but he thinks he'll only be cool with wheels..." She said sarcastically, and I laughed.

"Doesn't he know how nerds are trendy ?" The cheeky words came from someone who had always known the appeal of nerds.

"It's not just a trend now... it's been like this for a while... you were like that... in fact, he reminds me a lot of you... the talkative part..." She said, getting up to fetch a drink. Whiskey would always be her drink. The almost affectionate mention of a part of me made me feel an uncontrollable wave of tenderness. My smile was completely honest and relaxed at the possibility of making things better. She was looking at me attentively now, seeming to try to read everything about me.

"Do you drink before 5?" She joked, and I sighed. She's acting very light-hearted, and I felt like I could finally try to relax.

"Not as much as I'd like, but I might need it to calm down... I'm nervous... double cowboy, please..." I said, making myself comfortable on the couch, and she laughed.

"You... getting nervous? That's new... you're full of surprises, Kate Bishop..." She sang, and I sighed, annoyed when she returned with our glasses.

"Thanks... Not every actor is super outgoing... you know I'm not that open... but I'm mainly nervous because I... have a feeling I'm in a trap... why are you so calm?" I asked, trying the strong drink.

I watched her look thoughtfully into her glass as if it could give her all the answers.

*

She asked me a simple and very direct question that could have a range of simple or complex answers.

Am I calm? The answer is an absolute no, but I felt the need to be calm, to feel in my element to understand what had her so worried.

From the brief summary she gave me yesterday... This was about people knowing who she really is. The person she clearly tried to bury in a life of lies. This is where my hatred for her solidifies day by day.

"I don't really know how you are... and I'm not that calm... I'm uncomfortable... scared of everything about you being here..." I said, holding my glass, feeling my sweaty hands tremble.

"Yelena... hey... look at me, please?" She asked, and I finally turned my eyes to her, who was leaning her elbows on her knees, seeming to want to be closer to me.

I met her request, giving my full attention to the pretty blue quartz gems she has in her eyes.

"First of all... I want it clear that I don't want to make you uncomfortable... or turn this into a war... I just... I know we have a lot of reasons for our hurt... but I just..." She said urgently, and I growled.

I need to stanch the tenderness.

"I hate you, Katherine, and I need to keep hating you, don't make me like you now..." I said seriously, and she looked at me as if I were insane.

"That doesn't even make sense... I don't want to fuel your anger, and it's not like I think it's fair..." She growled, and I sighed, surprised by her audacity.

"Undermining my feelings is and always has been your specialty... I don't even get surprised..." I pointed an accusatory finger at her after taking another hard sip of my drink.

"The mere fact that I crossed the country to come talk to you... to try to warn you about something big like a scandal... doesn't that count?" She defended herself nervously, and I thought about all her fear. This doesn't really seem like a concern for me. I think I get it now.

"I think... I just realized that... maybe... you didn't come here out of concern for me... did you, Kate? You're here to defend your reputation..." I said, crossing my legs, and she looked like I had stabbed her in the chest.

"I think before we talk about this scandal bullshit, we should be talking about this hatred bullshit, don't you think? I wanted to resolve everything without this..." She growled, sitting heavily, almost sinking into my couch.

I didn't really understand her hurt look.

"You only have yourself to blame..." I said simply. I know I promised myself that I would resolve this maturely, but it was hard not to attack the person who hurt me the most in this world.

"Yelena, for God's sake... we're not 18 anymore... we're not teenagers... just... haven't you matured at all?" She practically screamed, pulling her own hair, and I stood up, angry.

"Kate... I think your tone needs to lower a lot if you want to continue this conversation... you have no right to attack me..." I pointed at her, and she cursed, standing up too.

"I can't fight back against your attacks... that's it?" She said, approaching me, but I didn't back down. "I have to come here and listen to you accuse me in your victim's theater, but I can never defend myself?" The way she was on the verge of tears didn't make me less angry, it was the opposite.

I could feel it in that moment—I could kill her with my own hands. Anything to stop my heart from withering away because of her again. I closed my eyes as her harsh words lashed out directly at my face.

"That's what you want, isn't it?... This makes you feel better... You run from your guilt by dumping everything on me, right?" she spat, fully consumed by her anger. I wasn't breathing—I couldn't. All the feelings I'd had for her since I was just a girl were still here.

The deep breath I took made her grab my face with both hands, my entire body trembling at the contact, and I was too weak to do anything more than cling to her wrists. "Is this how you want to live forever? Letting me think I'm miserable alone... is that what makes you happy? Huh, Yelena..." She lowered her voice to a painful whisper, and I closed my eyes, unable to bear the sight of her wounded gaze any longer.

"Maybe you prefer the term they call you here... Black Widow... that's it? Do you want to keep living as the widow of someone bad... you think you're the only victim, don't you? ... come on... at least admit between us that you're as guilty as I am..." She said softly, resting her forehead against mine.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Chapter 4: Engine Overheating

Summary:

_________________________________

 

Here goes another attempt at a civilized conversation
between Kate and Yelena...
Natasha welcomes Kate Bishop...
Peter tries to impress Kate with his wheels...
Kate tries to impress everyone with a shiny Cabriolet.

 

_________________________________

Notes:

As always... you can tell me what you think of all this craziness here or on X @onlycoments,
everything is appreciated.

Thanks as always for the incredible support in all my stories.

This helps me a lot and makes me very happy.

 

_________________________________

---

 

 

 

 

*

 

I could feel it in that moment—I could kill her with my own hands. Anything to stop my heart from withering away because of her again. I closed my eyes as her harsh words lashed out directly at my face.

"That's what you want, isn't it?... This makes you feel better... You run from your guilt by dumping everything on me, right?" she spat, fully consumed by her anger. I wasn't breathing—I couldn't. All the feelings I'd had for her since I was just a girl were still here.

The deep breath I took made her grab my face with both hands, my entire body trembling at the contact, and I was too weak to do anything more than cling to her wrists. "Is this how you want to live forever? Letting me think I'm miserable alone... is that what makes you happy? Huh, Yelena..." She lowered her voice to a painful whisper, and I closed my eyes, unable to bear the sight of her wounded gaze any longer.

"Maybe you prefer the term they call you here... Black Widow... that's it? Do you want to keep living as the widow of someone bad... you think you're the only victim, don't you? ... come on... at least admit between us that you're as guilty as I am..." She said softly, resting her forehead against mine.

I gasped, my body melting into hers for one simple reason—I couldn't claim to have full control over my actions. As she continued to spew her pain in my face, all I could feel was the heat radiating from her... I no longer knew what time it was... I didn't know what I really wanted... I just knew I needed her now... I needed to silence her... I needed to feel that we were still… us... I needed to know that she didn't hate me as she said... I... needed to know if all that was left was hatred and bitterness.

My own hands sought her face, pulling her mouth to mine. It was as if I were turning on an engine too powerful, the ignition firing through my entire body... She didn't resist, she didn't pull away... she never would... she just moaned loudly, offering me her tongue like she always had... starving... making me her only need... warming us with the intensity we always had.

She wasn't being gentle—every ounce of her earlier anger was channeled into her bites, in the way she held me impossibly close. Then, in a single moment, the kiss that had been born of hatred... meant to silence any words and let my instincts scream... turned into something about our desires, yes, hers too, the most primal ones... And in the next second, it was all about her lifting me into her arms to pin me against the nearest wall.

Her tongue explored every inch of my lips as if... as if she had been away from me for ten years ... I felt it all... the electric sensation that had always accompanied us wherever we went was present in everything.

I gripped the strands of hair at the nape of her neck, pulling her even closer to me, feeling that the whole world could explode and I wouldn't care.

I wanted everything...

The way she was grinding against me as she found my neck... her firm hands on my hips and waist... everything... everything... everything... we would always be everything whenever our desires were on the table. This had never been in doubt in my mind, but having confirmation after ten years apart pushed me into a raw frenzy so intense that no sense of pride would prune me or stop my actions now.

From the first time I kissed her, my body has always responded the same way... I used to think that when we were silly, nervous girls... we were incredible... and the more we grew... the more our... love... yes... somehow... despite the years, the damage, and everything that happened... there was still love... and it was never simple.

"Yelena... I-I... your taste... your body... everything is still incredible..." she gasped in my ear, and I moaned, completely tamed. She would always surrender to me when it came to my skin... my taste... but I wasn't any better than her. I've never been able to resist her, and the worst part is that I didn't even want to right now.

I surrendered to another desperate kiss from her, where the bites told me how much she had missed this. How long had it been since she had a woman?

"I'm thinking... about how... we've always been good at this... bite me... show me... touch me... how long has it been since you've had something like this... a woman?" I moaned, grinding my body against hers, unable to control the pounding of my heart or how my body throbbed for her.

"I... This... I can... I can show you... please... let me show you... one more time... let me show you how I've never had anyone like you..." she groaned, even more desperate, leading us to the table. The way she swept everything off with her arms before sitting me down made me tear off my shirt in a frenzy.

"I love it when you do that..." she said, seeking my lips for more ravenous kisses, and I smiled as I watched her lower her face to my breasts to bite and lick my skin.

"What, exactly?" I asked, completely dominated by her tongue on me with such familiar intent. I could barely keep my eyes open, but I wanted to know... I wanted to see everything... I wanted to have everything again...

"When you... let me kiss you... until you want to be naked... that's what you want, isn't it?" she growled, her hands roughly claiming my breasts. "They look even more perfect than ever..." she whimpered, pulling my hair to make room at my neck.

"God... I love what you did with your hair..."

Everything about her actions was frantic, disorganized... as if she barely knew what she wanted to touch first. I watched it all, relishing in being desired like this again by someone... It's been a while... no, that's a lie... no one has touched me the way she touches me... I won't be a hypocrite... only she has warmed me like this...

"Yeah? I thought you liked it long..." I laughed between moans.

"I love how it is, and I’d love to have it long right now too... you remember? Me holding your body like this... while I..." She moaned, even more desperate, as memories flooded our minds with just the mention of how wild we used to be. "While we made love... all night long... God... I’ve dreamed of this so many times..." She purred, slipping her hand into my jeans and hair simultaneously, making me scream. The blatant confession of her desire for me made everything speed up as I lifted my leg to give her more access.

I always knew it was best to keep her at a distance... because when we were close... close, we could never resist.

Her skillful fingers made it clear I would come in seconds... she’s always been the best in the world at this, and if I couldn’t fight her before, I wasn’t about to try now. I moved the way I wanted on her fingers, moaning all kinds of commands, and she followed each one.

"Faster... harder... more... more... I need... I need you..." She obeyed everything, making me forget the whole world outside, holding onto her presence alone.

She never let go, urging me on. "Give me everything... let me see it again... I want to see you... God... I missed you... did you miss me?"

“I… I… fuck… inside… I need it inside…” I gasped as I had her invading me with two willing fingers.

“C’mon, Milaya… I gave you what you wanted… Now give me what I want… say it… say it to me or I won’t let you come… Did you miss me? Say it…” She said desperately, making the frantic rhythm of her fingers drag the truth out of me.

“Yes… I felt… I felt everything… all this time…” I gasped, unable to contain myself and she laughed softly.

“You’re still the same good girl you always were… no… you’re now a woman… the most stunning woman… Let me see… like this…” She opened my jeans completely to see her perfect work and I spread my legs even wider.  “Very well… that's it… now you can have what you need… now, Milaya… come to me, please… please… say my name…” She begged.

Even though she was leading me, I always got what I wanted first and foremost… I just needed to wait.

“Come… Milaya… please…” She said, seeking my mouth for a kiss that went against everything we were doing.  It’s us again.

“Kate… I… Please, Kate… Kate…” I said her name as a prayer before surrendering, moaning like I know I always would but the moment I came… the door burst open with a bang that nearly sent us tumbling off the table.

"I’m gonna kill you!" Natasha barged into the room, blazing in angry, and I almost cried as I was still trembling in the aftershocks of my orgasm.

Kate helped me regain my composure, pulling her jacket over her head to cover me. I sighed, finally grounding myself in the reality of what I’d just done. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Are you okay?" she asked, touching my face, and I nodded before feeling her whole body being yanked away from mine.

"Let go of my sister, you idiot..." Natasha's furious growl pulled me even further into reality.

"Nat..." I groaned, but it was ignored by everyone. Natasha was already grabbing Kate by the neck, dragging her out of the room.

I couldn’t even get up. My legs were numb, my body trembling... nothing made me fit to mediate a fight between my sister and Kate Bishop.

"Natasha... it’s good to see you... can we talk without... violence? Hey, you don’t need to do that. You still drink stout ? Please, don’t mess up my face... I have filming in a few weeks... fuck... not the mouth too... that’s..." I heard Kate laugh hysterically, and I finally got worried, realizing the complete mess I’d gotten myself into.

While I knew what we had just done was a mistake, I still didn’t want to explain the death of an Oscar-winning actress in my damn garage.

I jumped off the table as best I could to try to deal with the mess my sister was undoubtedly about to create.

The scene outside the office made me laugh helplessly. Kate was running between cars and motorcycles while my sister chased her with two massive wrenches, murder in her eyes.

"Nat... please... watch out for the clients’ cars..." I pleaded, laughing, and she pointed a wrench at me.

"Stay out of it... I’ll kill you in a minute... but first, I’m gonna fulfill my lifelong dream... BITCH BISHOP... YOU BETTER STOP RUNNING!" She threatened, hurling one of the wrenches dangerously close to Kate's head, who finally stopped laughing.

"Hey... that was dangerous... Why do you always have to be so violent? Still not railed enough? Haven’t married Maria yet?" She pointed a trembling finger at Natasha, who now opened a toolbox, throwing wrenches one by one at the foul-mouthed bastard.

Kate just knows that this is what irritates Natasha the most. Maria and Natasha have had the most tumultuous relationship in this city for the last 20 years... Before Kate and I were the gossip, there was my sister and her epically fucked-up romance. 90’s Lesbian drama. We’ll talk about that another time... I need to focus on the mess in real-time because a wrench just hit Kate’s face. Right eyebrow. Blood... a lot of blood. Holy shit.

"Fuck, Nat... I told you not to hit my face... how am I..." Kate sobbed, with the most ridiculous crying I’ve ever seen in my life. My urge to laugh was swallowed as soon as I saw Kate looking a few shades paler. She’s not good with blood, and this is gonna be even more dramatic when she passes out because of it, so I jumped into the scene to shield Kate and maybe prevent more flying tools.

"Natasha... the girl is bleeding... stop..." I begged, holding back my laughter at how Kate, with all her height, was now hiding behind me, sobbing even louder.

"I’m bleeding? ...I-I... I’m feeling sick... I think I..." I heard a dull thud behind me, and I couldn’t hold back anymore. The laughter that burst out of me filled the garage. I was bent over, clutching a stupid Camaro, looking at the bloodied woman on the ground at my feet.

See? I told you it would be dramatic...

"Peter... close the doors... Mark... fetch the girl... Natasha... for God’s sake, drop my damn tools." I growled at everyone, still laughing, but especially at my sister, who was still in war mode, now advancing to possibly finish the job.

"Yelena... you better have a damn good explanation for this mess..." Natasha said, pointing a wrench at my face before kicking Kate's boots and storming into the office.

I took a deep breath, helping carry Kate inside, thinking once again about the kind of shit I got myself into by opening the door for Kate Bishop last night.

Bitch Bishop… 

*

Natasha was pacing back and forth in the office while I cleaned the face of an unconscious Kate. A split eyebrow... busted lips from a few punches were the most urgent concerns. She’s gonna lose it when she sees her own face.

"I can't believe you were about to kill a famous person in my garage, Nat!" I groaned, still trying to control my laughter.

"I can't believe that after everything, you still... Damn it, you're just laughing at this shit... I should've killed her the first time I had the chance... it would’ve saved me from seeing you lowering yourself to that demon again." She complained, disgusted, seeing me laugh, and I swallowed it down when I saw her expression, no longer angry, but worried.

The memories of what Kate had done to me were lukewarm in my mind—not just what had just happened, but the bad things, the humiliations... all our fights... I couldn’t even deal with it right now.

"Nat... I love you... I appreciate the defense... but I don’t want to discuss any of this right now." I said quietly, finishing cleaning Kate’s face before turning to my sister.

"Oh, really? You don’t want to discuss... What then? Did you two patch things up? How the hell were you having sex on a table with this girl after everything she did, and I... who had to deal with your crying, drinking, and nightmares all these years, can't complain? She’s been back for a minute, and you’re already back to being the irresponsible teenager who doesn’t answer to anyone?" She growled furiously.

Before I could respond, the broken voice of the half-dead woman interrupted us.

"What the fuck, Natasha? You messed up my face, man..." she said, startled, sitting up, and I gently held her as she wobbled, still dizzy.

"You're lucky to be alive, Katherine... you know you deserve way more than just a few punches and a split eyebrow." Natasha snarled, tossing a pen at Kate.

"Nat... come on... that's so out of line... you might’ve cost me my best movie..." she sobbed dramatically, and I sighed, not entirely sold on her performance. It didn’t look that bad, but I wasn’t about to say that.

"Stop your drama... I don’t care about any of that... what the hell are you doing here? Did you just wake up and decide to come back for Yelena and—" Natasha resumed her impatient pacing in the office, and I froze, unable to speak.

Honestly, we hadn’t really talked about the real reason that brought her here... I only knew that some shit was about to go down... but the facts, the real conversation, I didn’t know... Hearing my sister ask if Kate came back for me made everything go cold inside me... She didn’t... she...

I quietly leaned back on the couch, feeling overwhelmed by the doubt and uncertainty that always came with Katherine Bishop. Everything about her demeanor now seemed uncertain. She definitely didn’t come here for me...

"Dude... I just came for a conversation... but then... we... Yelena... hey..." She stood up fully, kneeling in front of me. "Are you okay?" she asked carefully, touching my face, and I nodded, slowly pulling away from her hands.

"I’m fine, Katherine... are you okay?" I said softly, touching the bandage, and she huffed loudly, adjusting the buttons on her jacket to keep it from showing too much skin on me.

We might have all the flaws in the world and behave like wild animals during sex, but there was always an obvious care from both of us to make sure everything was physically okay after our craziness.

"No, I’m not okay... your sister hit me with a tool... my head hurts..." she groaned, sitting on her heels. "Can I take a shower? My clothes reek of blood... otherwise, I’m gonna pass out again. I should have some clothes in my car." She asked, getting up.

"Sure... do that, and then we’ll talk." I said quietly, and she moved closer to me.

"Yeah, we have a lot to talk about." She said, touching both of my hands before leaving the office, flinching when Natasha threatened to lunge at her again.

I huffed loudly at my idiot sister.

"Just stop, Nat... let’s figure out what’s going on, and then you and I will talk." I pleaded, and she came over to me.

"Sestra... you don’t need to talk with this girl about anything... just send her away... she can’t come back here after everything and get you back." My sister pleaded back.

I know my sister is absolutely right and that Kate doesn’t deserve my attention after everything, but after what happened today, I need to clear the air.

"Natasha... I know I’m wrong to let things like what you saw happen... she came here for some serious reason that I still don’t know... but I’m not assuming it’s something simple if she came back after everything... just... I’m not the naive girl I was before... I’m the one who kissed her today... I’m the one who started it... you know this never really went away for me... I still... look... just let me resolve this with her... I need this too..." I cried, trying to make my sister see reason in me, and she nodded stiffly.

"I’m just worried... I know this never went away for you, and from the careful mess I just witnessed on her part... it didn’t go away for her either... but this can’t pick up where it left off, no matter what... Just keep that bitch away from me... I won’t tolerate any more of her bullshit here... I’ll get arrested if I have to deal with her again..." She threatened completely before storming out of the office, and I just sat there, thinking about the whole situation.

I need to resolve this and it needs to be quick.

*

I was rummaging through the small bag in my trunk, searching for a change of clothes when Natasha marched out of the garage straight toward me. For a moment, I considered whether my trunk was comfortable enough to hide in, but I decided this was something I needed to face head-on.

I need to talk to Natasha without fear.

"Nat, please... don't hit me again... I was serious about the movie... please..." I pleaded, raising my hands in surrender. She huffed and shoved me against the side of the car.

"I'm not gonna hit you, not right now... I just want to warn you... if you came back to mess things up with my sister again... I won’t just hit you... I’ll make your life a living hell... I’ll tell everyone who you really are... Do you understand that?" She growled in my face, and I swallowed down all the fear that my ex-sister-in-law was capable of instilling in me.

My tears were partly out of fear, but they were mostly about a sense of loss that had accompanied me for many years... the frustration of not being able to do better... not just with Yelena...

"I... I... I came to... I’ll be honest with you... I came to talk about something serious... and I want to tell your sister first... but if you want, I can tell you everything... I don’t know what to do, Nat... but I... I want to fix what I can for Yelena... I never wanted to hurt her... I swear..." I tried, and she ground her teeth, letting go of me carelessly.

"You're coming over for dinner tonight and by then... you better have talked to Yelena... even if she hates you after whatever you two discuss. I want you at our house tonight to hear the mess you’re in and what made you come here, risking your life with me and Maria." She said, pointing a finger right in my face, and I nodded quickly.

"Behave yourself while you're here; the city isn’t the same as you knew it..."

The message was clear. Don't cause any trouble during the day.

"I understand. I'll do everything right. You have my word!"

She walked over to her truck, slamming the door hard, and I retrieved my clothes from the car, feeling shaky from the entire situation. As the adrenaline finally left me, I was already feeling the physical effects of my desperation.

I walked straight into the office, avoiding the curious gazes of the mechanics and workers. I didn’t want any more drama, and I hadn’t come here to mess up Yelena’s life. That’s a lie. I came to tell her how I'm about to cause the biggest mess she's ever had in her life.

"Hey, Kate..." Peter ran to catch up with me, smiling. I stopped to give him my attention.

"Hey, kid..." My greeting was shy because he seemed to be smiling as if he knew more than I did about something.

"I was just thinking... when you’re done with your next meeting... I want you to see how the bike’s coming along..." he said, playfully punching me in the stomach, and I smiled, curious.

The kid clearly likes me, so I returned the gesture with a smile. "Sure... we’ll do that today... I’ll probably be hanging around here all day... I still have a lot to talk about with Yelena..." I smiled timidly, and he burst out laughing.

"Jesus... just... you know she’s like my mom, my dad... something like that? Stop telling me this crap." He groaned, and I laughed.

"No, idiot... it’s not about that..." I defended myself, heading back to the office as he stayed behind.

"It’s a date, then. See you later!" He offered excitedly, and I knocked on the door before entering.

"Come in..." The soft voice authorized. I sighed before stepping inside, knowing that now the real battle begins.

I walked in, leaning against the door as I saw her arranging the table with everything I had knocked over to make her comfortable. My eyes narrowed as I felt my body vibrate... I wasn’t done.

I quickly stepped toward her, messing up the table again to sit her on it, and she gasped in surprise.

"Kate... I think we should..." She started, but I silenced her with a gentle kiss.

"I know we shouldn't... but... I... God... this still feels the same... I can’t... I never could resist you..." I said between soft kisses all over her face. "Just let me kiss you for a minute before you remember how much you hate me..." I begged, biting her soft lips, and she surrendered again.

Her hands under my shirt made me shiver. She lightly scratched my back before pulling me even closer to her, and I melted into her embrace, letting my tongue brush against hers in the gentlest way I knew... the way she taught me... the way only we do.

"You seem so sure that I... will keep hating you... but your kisses... you seem to want me now just as much as you always did..." she moaned, rubbing her chest against mine.

While I don't exactly know what we’re doing, I couldn’t lie to her about this. Not now.

"I never stopped wanting you... ever since I was a girl... I always... everything that happened... we were so immature, Yelena..." I whimpered, feeling her kisses trailing down to my neck. She grabbed the flesh firmly, making me clutch her hair in desperation. She knows what she’s doing... she always knows.

"Yeah... so now that we’re two women... Are we going to leave the immaturity behind?" She asked, and I nodded firmly.

"It’s what I want... I need this... we both do." I moaned, not knowing anymore if it was for maturity or because of her touch.

"Yeah?... And what else do you need, Kate?" She whispered in my ear, tugging my hair just enough to make my eyes roll back.

Everything about her attitude feels like a trap since yesterday. I'm still waiting for her to act like Natasha... but she’s just here, letting me touch her while using her softest voice. If we do more of this now... I’ll never have a chance to resolve this impartially. This isn’t about me coming back for Yelena.

I disentangled myself from her arms and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. My first step toward showing her maturity was that we weren’t going to resolve any of this with sex.

She leaned back on the table, seemingly unbothered by the pause. The way her eyes darkened with desire almost made me throw all that mature nonsense out the window, but I held my ground. I came here for a reason, and there were many important things we needed to address. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, resolve any of this naked— it wouldn't be fair.

I cupped her face, pulling her in for another chaste kiss before guiding her body into my lap. "Hold on to me," I requested, moving us toward the couch.

"Before we let the one thing we never got wrong get tainted... let's talk... I'm gonna tell you why I came here... you're gonna tell me what you think... we'll do this civilly... with maturity like we agreed... and later... I've been summoned to your house to tell the same story to Natasha," I said seriously, and she huffed.

"Did Natasha hit you again?" she asked, laughing, and I groaned.

"No... she didn't hit me yet... but after what we're gonna talk about, you might want to, and she'll definitely get her chance... and I promise I'll let her... but first, we need to talk." I said, pulling her from my lap to place her on the armchair in front of me.

"Alright... start... I promise to listen to everything..." she said gently, and I calmed down, reassured that I could do whatever was needed for Yelena... maybe, during this time, I could regain much more than just her trust.

"Well... to start... you know I'm engaged, right?" I began, and she growled, standing up from the armchair.

"Hey, you promised..." I groaned, and she growled back, pouring herself two shots of vodka.

"Yeah, I promised to listen. I never said I'd do it sober... because remembering how you screwed things up forever makes me want to go to hell." she groaned, downing the vodka like it was water.

"So, I'll start by apologizing for that... I did it out of childishness and stupidity... I admit it." I said softly, and she slammed the glass on the table, crossing her hands to look directly into my eyes.

"Why did you do it, Kate?" she asked, hurt, and I felt my eyes burn with shame.

"I... damn it... I never forgave you either, Yelena... it's not just you who's angry at me... I have a lot of resentment toward you too..." I said sadly, feeling exhausted.

"I think you're wrong about that... next topic... what does your engagement have to do with me... did you come here for a bachelorette party?" she snapped venomously, and I stood up, completely furious.

"Seriously, Yelena?... Are you going to start with the disrespect already? I didn't... fine... here's what we're going to do... I'm just going…  leave... you clearly don't want a serious conversation... I've been trying since yesterday, and it's not working... I didn't come here to be mistreated by you!" I said, walking toward the door.

"Kate... I..." I didn't hear what else she said because I was already heading back to my car.

If she doesn’t want to talk… If she’s so certain that I'm wrong… I’ll let her believe that.

"Kate..." Peter came running to catch up with me.

"Not now, kid," I snapped, and he huffed.

"Hey... you promised me..." he whined, and I turned to him, curious.

"Dude..." He rolled his eyes, almost stomping his feet.

"Don't give me 'dude' ... I'm stopping you from leaving because you're angry... I don't like seeing girls angry... Yelena told me it's not good to drive angry... and you seem angry at Yelena... and Yelena is probably angry at you... but since you walked away and she's not chasing after you, I'm guessing she said something angry that made you feel this way... just breathe and come see my new bike, right?" he rambled, then mimed dropping an invisible microphone before walking away without waiting for my response.

The little smartass is right. I need to cool down… reduce this anger that’s threatening to consume me… whenever I let anger get the best of me, I screw things up… I can’t afford to make mistakes now.

I sighed loudly before following him through an alley beside the garage until we reached a large grassy area with many trees… A small, perfect grove… In the distance, there were hundreds of old cars stacked up. We walked to another space… a small garage that made me gasp loudly when I saw a very familiar car.

"There she is... look how beautiful she is..." the boy said, completely oblivious to my confusion. I tore my eyes away from the car where I lost my virginity to Yelena to look at the excited boy.

He seemed proud, sitting on the bike to start it up. "Look how good I look on my new wheels!" he said, puffing out his chest, and the conversation with Yelena flashed through my mind. I felt I should reinforce the idea that wheels aren't the most important thing since I'm the one giving him the wheels.

"Yeah... you look great on those wheels... but you know what? I'm far more impressed by how smart you are... you're getting this bike for reasons that go way beyond just looking cool on it." I said, lightly tapping the bike’s shiny dashboard.

"Really?... And why did you do that? The stories I've heard about you always paint you as selfish, someone who never did anything for anyone else..." he said, before clamping his hand over his mouth, clearly worried. I laughed, feeling like I could coax any information out of this kid.

"Don't be afraid to speak your mind... all those stories about me... they barely scratch the surface of who I really am... but you're right, I don't do anything for anyone who doesn't deserve it, whether it's something good... or bad..." I said, letting my gaze drift back to the car, now looking almost new.

"I'm sorry... it seems like it hurts... I'm sorry if I talk too much... but, you see, Yelena has been through so much... and I feel protective of her for many reasons... most of them because I know she's the coolest girl in the universe... and meeting you showed me that... sometimes cool people don't end up together... I'm a little scared, you know?" he said, his voice low, and I looked at him, curious, knowing I'd help the kid with whatever he needed.

"What scares you?" I asked, walking over to the car, and he followed.

"Uh... I'm in love with this girl... and she's... man, she's amazing... smart... hot... funny... but we're gonna have to go our separate ways in a few months... and that sucks... I'm just afraid that, like Yelena, I won't be able to keep the girl…" he said softly, and I sighed as I opened the car door. I didn’t even want to think about how he might think it was bad for Yelena not to keep the girl, but he has no idea how much worse it is to leave the girl behind.

"Does this thing run?" I asked, searching for the key, and he smiled excitedly.

"Of course it runs... Yelena treats this car like it's a treasure... and... damn... I know about you two and this car... sorry..." he said, looking nervous.

I found the key and couldn’t hide my excitement as I started the car, the engine purring just like it did the night Yelena took us out for the first time. My mind filled with memories of us in the backseat and just moments ago in the office.

She just kissed me... She initiated it... She let me touch her... She let us make love again... she said my name... she would have given me the same paradise I gave her if I hadn't stopped us... I just know … She was exactly the same girl as always… I was the same girl as always… but I understand the weight of this coming from her… I understand that this changes a lot of everything we are doing… 

I just need to think... breathe... and then I'll come back here and I'll talk to her and beg us to come to an agreement... Our war needs to end... Even though I'm too proud... I feel like the white flag should be raised by me…

"Think she'd mind if we took it for a spin?" I asked, smiling mischievously, and he groaned, jumping into the seat beside me to try and stop me. The little slap I gave his hand made him look at me in near panic.

"She'll kill us... please, turn it off..." he pleaded, but I ignored him, already putting the car in gear.

"Don't be a coward... this'll be fun... let's see if I can calm down with your company, and then we'll head back... I need to come back here to try and talk to her again... and I also need to have dinner with Natasha tonight... so... let's go... calm me down with your nonsense..." I laughed as we drove past the garage entrance, seeing Yelena standing there, horrified.

I waved nonchalantly before speeding up, hearing her angry shouts and the kid’s terrified screams beside me.

"Yelena... I'll fix this, I promise!" Peter yelled to her, and the last thing I heard was her saying Natasha would sort out my life.

This has to be fun. If I'm gonna die anyway... if today is the day I die... let's make it worth it. 

*

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Chapter 5: How much does a car, condoms, and a baby cost?

Summary:

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A famous actress and an underage mechanic steal a car and discover the cost of cursed cars, condoms, and babies... Meanwhile, across town, an angry mechanic learns the price of 10 years apart.

 

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Notes:

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Thanks as always for the incredible support in all my stories.

 

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*

 

The bitch just took my car... not just any car... the car ... our car ... the damn cursed car . I want to kill this woman with my bare hands in so many ways…

I ran back inside, knowing I needed to do something…

Maybe call Natasha... No... no... she'd kill the demon...

What if I asked Maria to track the car?

A thousand times NO , if my sister got angry, I can’t even imagine what Maria would do. I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself down...  This is the right thing to do now... I needed to relax. I have to trust that Kate isn't the irresponsible person she used to be, and she's with Peter... She likes the boy, she would never put him in danger.

I’m going to work... yes... that’s safe... I'll try to get as much done as I can before getting arrested for murder. This is it!

After two hours, I was miserably failing to calibrate a carburetor, cursing all generations of parts suppliers in the world, when my best friend burst through the workshop doors, almost running.

“Jesus... you're finally here, damn it!” I groaned, giving up on the carburetor for now, dragging my friend by her jacket into the office.

“What’s the rush? Get your filthy hands off me, idiot.” She complained, yanking my hands off her to get comfortable, and I groaned, sinking to the floor with my hands over my head.

“She came back here, Sonya... she came back... and then she made me cum on top of the table... and-” I gasped desperately before being interrupted by a scream.

“WHAT? How did you let her touch you? Weren’t you two supposed to talk ? What the hell did she say to convince you to have sex on a table, Yelena?” she asked, horrified, sitting down in front of me as I broke into the most humiliating sob of the decade, telling her everything.

When I finally finished, she sat frozen, staring at the floor.

“Say something, Sonya? I'm desperate...” I said, sniffing loudly, and she took my hands in hers.

“My sister... I... Dude... this shouldn’t have happened... not without a conversation... Although... dude... dude... dude... this is so you two ... I always knew you couldn’t resist each other... I honestly thought it was a good thing... maybe you’d have time to move on... but after this... dude...” Sonya said worriedly, and I growled.

“Stop calling me dude ... for God’s sake... you sound like a stupid teenager... Why did she have to come back, huh? I was fine... I had forgotten...” I lied, and she laughed.

“Dude, you’re such a liar... you never forgot... you never will forget... because what you two have isn’t just some sexual nonsense or anything like that... you’ve loved each other since you were 6 years old, Yelena... I remember the first time you saw her... you busted our four knees on that bike with me on the back... and you got up, bleeding, just to run over to her without even helping me... that little bitch... she was already a little demon back then... she took care of our wounds and gave us her snack... bad girl ... how could she kiss our cheeks like that?! Making us fall in love right there?” Sonya joked, recalling one of our best memories with Kate, and I smiled, remembering the most beautiful toothless girl in the world who made me think I was dying, my heart always trying to leap out of my chest every time I saw her.

That really hasn’t changed...

“God... you should see how beautiful she still is... no, scratch that... she’s even more than beautiful... she looks like a Goddess... all that attitude finally seems to have settled into everything she’s always been... I couldn’t resist... the moment she touched me, I kissed her... and it was... dude ... nothing changed... I’m so screwed... and she left here pissed off and stole the Cabriolet... that bitch...” I muttered, annoyed, and Sonya burst out laughing.

“I can’t wait to see her... seems like she’s even more funny now than before... I missed her...” she said softly, and I smiled, realizing I wasn’t the only one who had lost her.

“Don’t worry... She’s having dinner with us tonight... Natasha insisted on it... and she has my car... and our Peter... she’ll have to return them at some point today... She promised Natasha...” I laughed, blowing my nose.

“This is going to be fun... Nat may be angry, but she missed her too... I’m sure Kate has an explanation for everything... Let’s be mature, Sestra... it’s been ten years...” she growled, and I started crying again.

“It feels like not a single day has passed... I feel everything good I felt before and now all the bad things too...” I whispered, and Sonya looked at me carefully.

“We’ll sort this out... I promise... I’ll help you, as always...” she promised. “Now go take a shower... you’re sweaty, covered in grease and blood... get ready for our dinner... Let’s try to understand Kate’s mind and maybe even...” she said mysteriously.

“Hey... don’t go there... She's engaged now…

I-I don’t even want to... I just told her she came here for a bachelorette party... she must be so pissed at me for that...” I really should apologize for that... She’s been nothing but careful and hasn’t disrespected me in any way, even though I did.

“Fuck the fiancé... If she came back here, kissed you, and said all those things... she still feels the same way... let’s just see how this all unfolds...” Sonya sounded more amused than ever, and I really had no idea how I was going to handle any of this.

*

“Dude, you’re completely crazy… She’s gonna kill both of us… this is way out of line… I can’t die… I’m having sex for the first time tomorrow… if I… shit… shit… MJ going kill me too…” He practically cried, sounding desperate, and I laughed harder than I had in a long time.

“Okay… just relax… this is going to be fun… now tell me everything… What's your plan for this first time? Have you bought condoms yet?” I asked, genuinely interested in helping, and he groaned.

A few people waved at us, and I smiled back, knowing this would happen. In a few days, the whole town will know I’m back, but I didn’t want to deal with that right now, so I sped up, taking us far from the gossip as he whined even more.

“Damn it… I haven’t even bought my first condoms yet… I’m too young to die…” He said, devastated, and I was having the best day of the last decade with this whiny kid.

“So, our next stop is for that... Let’s buy your condoms… a nice outfit… where are you guys going to do it?” I asked, merging onto the highway, and he gripped the seat, terrified as I sped up again.

“No, damn it, I’m not buying condoms with you... I was going to ask Yelena for money for all of that tonight at dinner… but now that I’m going to die…” he muttered, glancing at the rearview mirrors.

“Dude, you’re not going to die… I’ll take care of everything for you… you’ll book a room at whatever place you want… tell me, where do you want to have your first time? What place do you think your girl would love?” I offered as I overtook a sweet old lady who flipped me off with a middle finger. “God, people here are still so friendly…” I said, smiling at him.

“No one here is friendly and no, I can’t accept… you already gave me the bike… it’s too much…” he refused humbly, and I smiled. He deserved it.

 

“You’re going to accept it… and you’re going to have the best night of your life with my help… I want you to have a perfect first time, just like mine was…” I said happily, remembering how truly happy I was. Yelena took this car from her old mentor and drove us around... She had dinner and candles by the river... we made love until dawn in this very car.

I let the memories fill me as we stopped at a pharmacy for the kid to buy his stuff... He came back as if he were buying drugs, hiding everything from me.

“Don’t be silly, kid... you can be shy, and that’s fine, but don’t be ashamed to buy your condoms, it just means you’re smart enough not to want kids right now...” I grumbled. “Now, let’s get you some nice underwear and a cool outfit,” I said, pulling him by the neck, and he groaned loudly.

“Oh my God… at least you’re not ranting about all the diseases and baby expenses like Yelena…” he said, laughing, and I felt like a parent who couldn’t counter the mom’s orders. If Yelena said it, I had to reinforce it.

“She’s not wrong, tho, diseases are really something to worry about... getting tested as often as possible is super important... and yeah, a baby is expensive... around 20,000 dollars a year... but don’t panic... you seem to be doing fine... just keep your little buddy covered and healthy, and everything will be okay,” I finished my lecture, and he was staring at me, mouth agape.

“I didn’t even... how the hell do you... Okay... I won’t even... you’re just like her… it’s so bizarre…” he said, horrified, and I laughed loudly, knowing I had successfully fulfilled my duty as a responsible relative. The kid was equally educated and embarrassed.

*

We talked about the town while he picked out a nice shirt and a good pair of jeans… the boots looked perfect...

“Why didn’t you ever come back here?” he wanted to know, and I took a deep breath.

“My parents died, and my girlfriend cheated on me. End of story.” I said with a shrug, and he let his jaw drop as I walked ahead, looking for more clothes he might like. Fortunately, he didn’t press the subject.

The kid was genuinely good and well-meaning. Everything he said was nice about everyone and everything. He greeted old ladies and kids. He helped me by handing me a pair of sunglasses when he noticed people were paying too much attention to my bruised face. A real gentleman.

He talked about his girlfriend like she was tough, but I could imagine the tenderness a tough girl would have for a funny and sweet kid like him. I’ve been both him and her. I know where it hurts...

We ate my favorite ice cream on Main Street while I called Clint, asking him to reserve the best room at the hotel near the lake that Peter told me had recently opened... I asked him to arrange the meals and everything Peter would need to impress his girl for two days.

I wish I could have followed a plan like that with Yelena... but I was just lucky enough to have her do that for me. I know how impressed and in love I was that day. I’d give this kid a chance... a chance Yelena didn’t have... a chance I didn’t give us, despite everything... As happy as we were together, our mistakes stained everything... I wish we both had managed not to burn it all down.

“I’ll never be able to thank you enough for all of this, Kate…” he said, shy, and I smiled proudly.

“It’s nothing, kid... you’re a good guy... kind... hardworking... you deserve so much more… and you know?… Yelena did something sweet like this for me on our first time… I know how much it matters… I lost my virginity in this car…” I said as we stopped in front of the car, and he whistled.

“Yelena really knows how to handle girls... she always brings flowers... and she cooks… and she’s so sweet…” he said excitedly, and I could barely contain the jealousy as I asked.

“Does she do that a lot?” I growled, stuffing ice cream into my mouth, angry at the thought of Yelena with another woman... As always, it bothered me.

“Jealous?” He laughed, nudging my shoulder, and I nodded.

“You can bet your ass on that. Now answer.” I bite, with no reason to lie to the kid, and I wasn’t about to start.

“You know… she doesn’t go out as much as we’d like her to… she doesn’t stick around with them for long… we’ve met a few cool girls she brought home, but it never… you know… never had that thing that…” he trailed off, and I cut him off, eager.

“What thing ?” Did I need to know this? No. But I wanted to know everything.

“That feeling… the tension I saw in her with you today… it was missing that look of… I don’t know… you know when it’s ‘the one’ …” he said, pointing his fingers at my eyes and then at his own.

I sighed, knowing he was right. I had never felt with anyone else what I had with Yelena. That tension never repeated… no one was ever… Yelena .

“Hey… did you come here to… Do you want her back?” he asked softly, and I groaned in frustration, knowing I could lie and say yes, but it would just be another big mistake to lie to the kid.

“No… I came here with some terrible news about something that’s going to make her angrier than she’s ever been… Maybe this little road trip of ours is my last moment of peace for a long time… that’s if I don’t die today.” I confessed quietly, and he groaned loudly.

“Then why do you look so smitten with her?” he asked, almost angry, and once again, I told the truth.

“I seem smitten because, honestly, I always have been… that never changed… and we just… we kissed today… and it felt like the most right thing… and if you ask me…” I stumbled over my words, and he took a deep breath.

“Now… Do you want to win back what you lost?” he asked seriously, and I let all the air in me escape.

“I’d like it to be an option… but I’m realistic enough to say I doubt she’d want me back… and it’s not like I know how to want it all back… you know?”

“Besides what you came to tell her… Did anything change after the kiss, Kate? Just be honest, man… Natasha’s going to ask you questions like this later… I bet if you tell me, it’ll help you…” he said, mature beyond his years, genuinely wanting to help, and I sighed, looking out at the street near the market, realizing nothing had really changed here… I felt safer than I had in a long time.

“Definitely, Peter… things changed. You can’t ignore anything about Yelena… even from far away, I never ignored it… Maybe I came here because I don’t know what to do, and everyone here seems to know exactly how to put me in my place… Yelena is the only person in the world who can tell me exactly how wrong I am… I think I want that… but I don’t know if I deserve it…” I said, sadly, and he smiled.

“Well… that’s something we can only figure out by trying… You’ve got a new movie, right?” he asked, and I nodded. “And that movie’s going to be shot around here?” I nodded again, and he smiled. “That gives you months of an advantage, man… I’m not saying you have to try, but I want to be the guy telling you that you’ve got that option if it makes sense to you… at least to fix the messes… maybe even be friends… I know you were like family to the girls…” he said, full of enthusiasm, and I laughed, wishing for nothing more than what he described.

“You’re so mature, kid… I wish I’d been like that in my old days… Do you even know they all hate me now?… Do you know I’m engaged and getting married this summer?” I said, almost chewing on my words, and he snorted with laughter.

“If I have to bet on a winner… it’ll always be my Yelena… that guy’s an idiot… all the gossip… I saw that interview with him… what a pathetic loser… he didn’t even buy a ring first… just… don’t be stupid… and remember… he’s not Yelena… and Yelena is Yelena, man…” he said, making absolutely no sense but somehow saying everything I needed to hear.

No one compares to Yelena.

“Okay, wise guy… Now let’s go back and deal with the beast… let’s just make sure I stay alive, and… if something happens to me… Find Clint Barton at the Ritz and say your name… he’ll know what to do…” I said, opening the car door for him before rushing to the driver’s seat with my hands shaking.

I was replaying everything that had happened since yesterday and the conversation with Peter. 

Did I have a chance to change my entire life? Was this the sign?

*  

12 years earlier

As I watched the sun rise that day, resting on her chest in the car we loved, I knew that no matter where our lives took us… something would never change… despite the fights… our stubbornness… it was about love… about the girl I loved, and how neither of us would ever forget this love, right here.

“Yelena… I feel like we’ll always find a way to understand each other… Do you feel that too?” I confessed softly, and she sighed deeply.

“I admit it hasn’t been easy… and you’ve been treating me differently these last few years… sometimes… I feel like you’re becoming someone I don’t know how to handle… like I’m still the same girl in love with the rosy in your cheeks and that you… now… it’s like you want more…” she said in a tone I had been hearing a lot lately… It was fear.

“Yelena… I get what you’re saying… I feel that too… Do you think… Why do you think I feel this way?” I asked, afraid of hearing the answer that had been whispered in my mind by a mean voice, but I wanted to hear it from her.

“I’m not sure… I have a theory that… you’ve always been the more ambitious between us… I think you’re… it’s like you’ve become too big for the small space you’re in… I don’t really get it… I just… I’m scared that your thirst for something bigger… that this will pull you away from me…” she said, smiling sadly, fixing my hair.

"Today was the best day of my life, Yelena… there's nothing bigger than you on my mind." I confessed, and she laughed.

"Well… I really hope it… I wanted this to be special… it's like… ever since we finally started dating… I just regret not doing this with you in the first place…" she said, still in that sad tone, and I groaned.

She had been with all the girls in town and the neighboring cities while I kept denying her. She became a terror with her conquests, and I hated every moment of it… It should’ve always been us from the start.

"How could I forget you conquering the town…" I moaned, and she laughed.

"Well… once I realized I liked girls and the only girl I wanted was ashamed of me… I didn’t have much of a choice… I had to figure myself out…" she defended herself, dodging my playful attacks on her stomach.

"If I hadn’t taken the first kiss, I would’ve lost even that…" I groaned in frustration, and she smiled, brushing my lips before kissing me.

"I'm glad our first kiss happened the way it did… and I’m officially counting this as my first time naked with a girl… because, honestly, it is… it’s my first time with the only girl I’ve ever wanted and love… the one I want to marry… and I will, right?" she asked softly, making me burst into laughter, as she always did.

"We'll see about that," I said, now being attacked by her tickling hands, unable to hold back my laughter.

*

"Kate… hey… did you hear that?" Peter asked, startled, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What? I… I…" I stammered, and now he was shouting.

"The sheriff, damn it… she… dude… I'm so screwed…" he groaned, sinking into the seat.

"Who's the sheriff now? I'll handle it." I promised, looking at the patrol car cutting through traffic, lights flashing, honking.

"Sheriff Hill… Maria Hill… better known as one of the women in my life who scares the living hell out of my ass…" he moaned, and I slammed the brakes, making the tires screech on the asphalt.

"Okay… first… yeah, we’re screwed… second… you have to promise me you’ll convince Yelena to come get me, okay?" I hissed at him as I watched Maria approach.

"Get you? Where? Heaven ? Hell ? We’re dead today, man!" he whimpered, completely terrified.

"Stop crying, coward. Just let Yelena know. Now keep quiet." I growled, watching Maria step out of her patrol car.

The thing about Maria Hill was that if Natasha hated me and would ruin my life, Maria Hill… wanted the same thing but would go even further, with more determination. When I left, she was just a shitty patrol girl as I had stupidly insulted her countless times. She’d promised me that the next time we met, I’d eat my words, and she’d throw me in a cell.

Lucky me, right?

"I'm pretty sure when I woke up this morning, I wasn’t this damn lucky shitty patrol … Bitch Bishop? In my town? It must be Christmas, and no one told me…" she said, leaning on my window. "Peter… what are you doing with her, and why is the cursed car out on the streets?"

"Maria… the kid—" I began, trying to shield him, only for her to snap her fingers near the cut on my eyebrow. I yelped in pain, writhing, and she laughed.

"I. Wasn’t. Talking. To. You." She punctuated every word, still staring only at Peter, who audibly gulped, seeming to understand everything.

I nodded to him, and he sighed unhappily.

"We’re just… I… is it okay if I explain this at dinner? I’m in a bit of a hurry… Miss Bishop is helping me with something important for MIT… she… she’s famous, right?… and I won a motorcycle in a raffle, and she came to deliver it…" he lied blatantly, and she laughed, opening the car door.

"Sure, Pete… we’ll talk at dinner, yes… there, you can explain your lie in detail… for now… get out, Bishop… lay down with your chin on the ground… hands behind your neck…" she ordered, pushing me to the ground without any care.

"Maria… this isn’t necessary…" I tried, and she stomped on my foot.

"It’s Sheriff Hill to you… and you’d better stay silent… anything you say, could and I will absolutely use against you… if you don’t have a lawyer, the state will provide one… now… for the moment… don’t test my patience… just enjoy this… you’re getting the honor of being arrested by me on behalf of the wonderful state of Ohio!" she growled, tightening the cuffs on my wrists, making me groan in pain. I didn’t dare say another word.

"Pete, take the car back to its owner before I arrest you too, and you kiss MIT goodbye…" she said, sounding pleased before crouching in front of me.

I heard the tires screech again as the car took off, and I took a deep breath, certain that I was in deep trouble.

"And you… ready for a little ride before you’re thrown in jail like the bad girl of my nightmares?" she whispered, pulling my arms up by the cuffs, almost twisting my shoulder.

"Damn it… I could file a complaint against you, Maria… this is abuse of power!" I said, amused, and she let her baton hit my crotch, making me growl in pain.

"Go ahead… but you know the saying… the beating I’ll give you… no one will forget… I’ll happily get fired after today!" she said, thrilled as she shoved me into the trunk of the patrol car. 

I’m so screwed… She doesn’t even think I deserve the backseat… The trunk…

*

 

 

 

 

 

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Notes:

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As always... you can tell me what you think of all this craziness here or on X @onlycoments

 

Due to temporary block in X ,
I'm in Bluesky @iceicebaby12.bsky.social or Instagram @twicebaby12

 

If you want to support me there, I'll be very happy.

 

Everything is appreciated.

 

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Chapter 6: Honor

Summary:

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Yelena meets up with Kate and Maria, and they finally have a talk.

 

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Notes:

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Abusive relationships have fine lines, it's nearly impossible to determine boundaries when you're in that kind of relationship. The breaking point is always marked by disrespect and a lack of consideration for your partner. Here, despite all the flaws, they had a clear boundary, one that Kate crossed. I repeat... there are no innocent parties in this story, and it’s always about finding ways to fix real-life situations.

 

Ps:. If you’re in an abusive relationship, the only way out is to leave it. There’s no room for resolutions if behaviors don’t change. Seek help if needed, but don’t hold onto anything that harms you.

 

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*

 

 

 

 

“They should have been back by now, Sonya... it's getting dark.” I groaned, worried, but Sonya, engrossed in my accounting, remained unfazed by all the current drama.

“They’re probably just out having fun, chill…” she said, finishing her calculations. She stepped out of the office to help me close up early today so we could go home and deal with Natasha.

“I don’t know… I have a bad feeling about all of this…” I sighed, tired, wiping my hands before reaching for the pieces I needed to wear today.

“I vote we wait a little longer… There's work to do here anyway. You handle your tasks, and I’ll check the stock to see what we need to order for the week,” she said, unaffected, already leaving me alone with my anxious thoughts.

I spent the entire afternoon managing things in the shop to keep myself distracted, but it was hard to think of anything but Kate, roaming free around the city. I dealt with several cars Peter was supposed to handle, worried that he might cross paths with her. I truly hoped she was watching out for my boy.

After an entire afternoon buried in work, everything in the shop was in perfect order, yet my thoughts remained fixated on that wretched woman. I had no idea what it would be like when she came back, no idea how the night would go, and frankly, I feared this day wouldn’t end well.

*

I was just stepping out of the shower, determined to set a plan into action to go look for them, when Peter burst into the shop, looking utterly terrified. His words came out in breathless fragments. I looked at him, worried, and quickly approached him. He was trembling, a mess of sweat and nerves.

“Hey, kid… breathe… what happened? Are you hurt?” I asked, checking him over for injuries, but he only seemed more agitated, brushing my hands away.

Sonya joined us in the main room, her face also marked by concern. “What’s all the noise?”

“I don’t know… he can barely breathe… Something happened… Peter, calm down!” I commanded, watching the boy pace nervously, his hands tangling in his hair.

“I-I’m fine… She stopped us… and then she-she… said it was her lucky day… like Christmas… and then she said she could have a state lawyer…” He pointed frantically, gesturing with impatience. I watched, trying to piece things together, and he went on. “And then… she begged… you have to go… man, she hit her eyebrow…” he gasped, nearly on the verge of tears, then burst into a manic laugh. I moved closer, placing a hand on his cheek to calm him.

“Breathe, honey… c’mon… keep talking… Is Kate okay?” I asked, my entire body vibrating with the possibility that she wasn’t.

Peter let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t even… I don’t know… but I’m gonna have sex in a hotel… I bought condoms… she gave me new underwear… and I was so scared… man… she just… dude… police station now…” He was even more agitated, grabbing my arm. “Let’s go… I promised… she… I can’t get arrested too… if you don’t go… she’ll arrest me too… hurry!” he said, still tugging at me.

I was still trying to connect the dots in his torrent of words, slowly realizing that Kate had crossed paths with the one person who could genuinely get her in trouble in this city.

Sonya and I exchanged alarmed glances. “Maria.”

I dashed to jump into the Cabriolet, with Sonya and Peter following close behind.

“Peter… breathe… explain properly… tell me everything Maria said…” I asked as we sped along, my hands trembling with all the terrifying possibilities racing through my mind of what might be happening to Kate at this very moment.

“She said something about a beating…” he muttered, clutching his head like he was about to throw up.

I let out a groan, fighting the urge to scream in frustration. “Damn it… that idiot… she shouldn’t… you see, Peter? This is what happens when that damn car leaves the shop… it’s always a mess… always goes wrong… and if you puke in this damn car…” I practically shouted, slamming my fist against the steering wheel.

“Yelena… relax… Maria wouldn’t be crazy enough to hurt someone famous…” Sonya, always the optimist, said casually.

“Sonya, were you even on this planet the night Kate fought Natasha and Maria nearly to death, and they swore to beat her even worse if she ever came back? I know you’re clinging to your ‘it’s been ten years’ mantra, but today Natasha threw a toolbox at Kate… Maria is undoubtedly torturing her, if she hasn’t buried her body already… You’re just underestimating Nat and Maria…” I groaned, steering us toward the police station, praying that Maria had gone there.

I rushed into the station, feeling a rising sense of dread, knowing that if I didn’t act fast, Kate could end up in even more serious trouble. Just because I hated Kate Bishop and wanted to kill her with my bare hands didn’t mean I actually wanted her dead. She couldn’t die—not until I found out what she had to say.

“Where’s Maria?” I nearly shouted at the guard at the entrance, and he sighed. That was a bad sign.

“She’s in the dorm… asked not to be interrupted… she’s with Kate… it’s best if you don’t interfere.” He looked concerned but stepped aside to let us through without question. Everyone knew that Maria’s family… we… had a free pass… and he knew about Kate. Everyone in this town knew about the hatred between Maria and Kate, as much as they knew about our relationships.

From the hallway, I could hear Kate’s voice. “I can’t even believe you haven’t married Natasha yet—” Then her voice was replaced by sounds of pain.

Even with Maria, knowing what she was capable of, Kate still dared to provoke her?

I burst through the door, seeing Kate slumped in the corner of the room, bruised and bloodied, and a smiling Maria standing over her, holding her baton and her gun.

“For God’s sake… are you insane, Maria?” I yelled, stepping between her and the idiot I had once loved.

Loved?

“Peter, my boy… Sonya, my second favorite girl… hey…” Kate mumbled, her words slurred, propping herself up on her elbows. God, she looked like she was about to pass out at any moment.

"Hey, Katie... having fun without me?" Sonya called from the doorway.

"Kate... I'm sorry..." Peter still looked pale.

Kate paused her banter with the others to look at me. Her injured, cynical smile almost made me smile back, but I held myself back, opting instead to step closer, reaching out to touch the cut on her brow.

"Hey, idiot... are you okay?" I murmured, trying to keep the blood from trickling into her eyes. She smiled, pulling my hand to kiss my palm.

 

"Yelena... Milaya ... I'm having an incredible day... got beaten up... stole a car... annoying a tough sheriff... it's just a shame she kicked me right in my pussy... well, I'm numb down there, been an hour now... someone should've filmed all this shit... but here, take my phone—I recorded everything." She laughed drunkenly, and I growled, snatching the phone before Maria could grab it. She didn’t, but she did stomp down hard on Kate's stomach.

"Maria... please... stop this." I whimpered, pushing her back, wrapping myself around her to prevent any more of her attacks on Kate.

"I don’t need to stop... this bitch has been disrespecting me for ages... she’s gonna learn..." Maria growled, still trying to break free, and I grunted with the effort of holding her back.

At least Kate had had the foresight to record evidence against Maria. Smart bitch.

"She didn't record anything… she’s just messing with you… please… calm down…" I pleaded.

"Yelena… she can't just think she can come back here and ignore me…" Maria threatened, readying another blow, and I pushed her away.

"Let it go, Yelena… let her hit me… C’mon, Maria… give it your best… I haven’t even told her yet that we kissed, Milaya ." Kate laughed, and Maria broke free from my grip, kicking the crazy woman repeatedly as she lay laughing on the floor. I watched the horrifying scene, unsure how to stop them from killing each other.

"You had the guts to kiss Yelena? You’re just suicidal now, aren’t you… I’ll help you with that." Maria said, sitting atop Kate, who for a moment went serious. I honestly thought she'd come to her senses, but then she opened her mouth, ready to make things worse.

"Actually... shewastheonewhokissedme ..." She said venomously, making me look at her, rethinking every ounce of sympathy I had for her. I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to end her madness before I did kill her with my bare hands.

So, I did what any sensible woman would do to an ex-girlfriend who's being infuriatingly disrespectful and aggressive. I let my boot connect with her jaw, gently, and finally, she quieted down. There. Problem solved… she'd be out cold for a while, giving me time to fix the mess she dragged me into.

"You just ended all the fun, Yelena…" Maria whined in disappointment as I leaned down to lift Kate's beaten body in my arms.

Sonya and Peter stood at the door, watching the scene like an audience, and I groaned as I looked at them.

"Are you two just gonna stand there or help me?" I growled, pushing past them.

*

I carried Kate back home, stopping by the garage to secure everything because I wanted to stall as long as possible before dealing with tonight's mess. No more doubts—it's going to be a nightmare. I just know it.

Maria parked her patrol car the moment I stepped onto the porch.

"Maria, I thought it was clear that you weren’t invited!" I called out, waiting for Sonya and Peter to open the door.

"And miss all the fun? I’m part of this family, Yelena... Your problem is my problem, idiot." Maria grumbled, coming toward us with hands bruised from beating Kate.

I set Kate’s limp body carefully on the couch, arranging her gently before finally resting my head in my hands, trying to breathe.

"Peter… go get the first-aid kit and a wet towel… Oh, bring a dry towel too…" I called, watching him run upstairs to grab what I asked for.

"I can't believe you're actually going to take care of that bitch…" Maria said, horrified from the middle of the room, just as Natasha emerged from the kitchen.

"What’s all this noise? Where’s Kate, Yelena? I thought I made it clear that she was expected for dinner…" Natasha asked, glancing at all of us.

"Well… she came… but we’ll have to wait until she wakes up from her beauty sleep!" I pointed miserably toward the couch. Maria laughed, moving over to Natasha for a kiss, but my sister dodged her and came to inspect Kate.

"Did you do this?" She asked, almost proudly, looking at Maria. I sighed. What is wrong with these people?

"Of course I did… but Yelena was the one who knocked her out… I just gave her a solid two-hour beating… it’s been such a good day, my life !" Maria bragged, and Natasha moved toward her, planting a kiss and looking even more disturbingly proud.

"You must be out of your mind, Maria… she recorded that… you don’t even know her anymore… what if she reports you?" I groaned, starting to clean the blood with the supplies Peter brought.

"I’d happily get fired, Yelena… it’d be like a dream come true!" Maria sighed blissfully.

"Well… I’m not gonna scold Maria… I’d have done the same if you hadn’t stopped me…" Nat said, sitting in Maria's lap. "What about the recording? And how did you find her?" Nat asked, and we all burst out laughing as Kate mumbled a groggy "Damn cabriolet" in her sleep.

"As the idiot just admitted… she took the car and Peter… and I was lucky enough to find them on the way… it was such a blast… Did you know Yelena kissed her?" Maria said, still looking so ridiculously pleased.

I tensed, bracing myself for Natasha’s response. They cannot be seriously having this conversation right now.

"Well... if they'd only kissed... I caught them on top of the office desk in the garage… kissing… hands inside each other's pants, and all the drama..." Natasha said wearily, and I stayed silent. I don't even want to bother dealing with them.

"I should bury that bitch alive!" Maria growled, looking furious, and I finally got fed up with their nonsense.

"You both crossed all the lines today..." I said after finishing up Kate's bandages.

"What did you expect, honestly, Yelena?" Natasha asked, and I sighed, annoyed, locking eyes with my sister, feeling the resentment boiling inside me toward all of them.

"Yelena... Milaya ..." Kate murmured in her sleep, and I rubbed my eyes, feeling my whole body tremble. I can't even… damn it…

"I can’t believe you thought we wouldn’t defend you against her after everything, Yelena!" Maria nearly shouted, and I sighed without bothering to look at them again.

"Well... I just hope she doesn't... hear... I don't wanna talk to you guys right now. We're having this damn dinner… Kate will finally say why she came here… and then she'll leave, and we'll go back to our normal lives. I’m not dealing with this or talking about it with anyone else. Today has been absolute hell for me… instead of worrying about who gets to beat up Kate more… none of you even checked on me… not one of you wanted to know how I'm doing… so I'm gonna take a shower... and if any of you lay another finger on this idiot... I'm leaving this house. I'll live in the back of the garage..." I said, making my usual threat for freedom, and my sister stepped back instantly.

"I'm sorry, sestra ... I didn't think... Are you okay?" she began, but I was already on the stairs with Kate in my arms.

"Not another word, Nat… just… go handle the damn dinner… I'll come down when she wakes up." I said, upset, not waiting for a response. Peter found us in the hallway and helped me settle Kate in my bed.

He seemed worried about her, and I gave him a reassuring smile. "She’ll be fine, kiddo, trust me... she can take much more than this... and this isn't her first dance with Maria and Natasha." I said, pulling off Kate’s boots while he sighed, arranging the pillows under her head.

"I didn’t think things would be this complicated, Yelena…" he said, sitting beside me. "She and I talked today... and she... she’s a good woman… like you..." he said, looking down at his hands, and I ruffled his hair, unable to confirm or deny his words.

"The thing is, Pete… we have a lot of water under this bridge, and Kate… she's a very complicated woman. I don’t know why she came back here to put herself through all this." I said, lazily drawing circles in the air. "... I'm completely drained… it hasn't even been a full day and I already... everything with her has always been like this... a mess... I don’t know how to deal with her anymore... maybe I never did…" I confessed, cracking my fingers as I looked at her, and he sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"She told me today that she thinks she came here for something much bigger than she expected… I’m just asking you to talk… leave the hate aside… no matter what happened… Today I realized that despite everything… she's one of the girls in this family… she always has been… just…" He was trying to defend her, and I interrupted him.

"Listen… I don’t want you to worry…" I knew she would charm Peter, but that’s one of her most effective tricks… everything about her has always been designed to captivate. "I promise I'll be mature… but keep in mind that Kate is a very... unique person... and I know she can be lovable... but just… be careful with how you defend her… I learned long ago to be cautious." I warned my boy, wanting nothing more than to prepare him for the side of Kate he hadn’t seen yet, the side she eventually shows to everyone.

I don’t want more chaos in my head...

I just want Kate Bishop to state her purpose for coming here, and then I'll decide what to do.

*

11 years earlier.

" Milaya… I can't believe we get the Cabriolet all to ourselves today…" I said, bounding down the porch steps and running to her and the car.

"Well… today is an important day… we're deciding our future!" Yelena said, blushing, still in her grease-stained coveralls, but I didn’t mind as I jumped into her embrace, kissing her hungrily.

"I love that… and I love that you have plans…" I said, still pressed to her lips.

"All my plans are for you, my love… Now let's go… I need a full bath… will you help me?" She bit my lip, and I smiled, feeling thrilled because, yes, bathing together was one of our favorite things.

"Yes, c’mon… Dad hasn’t left yet… he said he wanted to see you before they go out for dinner… he and Mom have plans too… ugh… gross…" I groaned, pulling her into the house.

"Don't be like that, love… they need to have fun… they’re young… I love how passionate they are… let's hear what he has to say." Yelena said in her usual tone, though I sensed a hint of discomfort. She knew what he wanted to discuss.

"Hey, sweetheart…" My dad said, coming out of the kitchen to kiss Yelena on the cheek.

"Hello, you wanted to talk to me?" she asked, hugging him around the waist as he led us into the kitchen.

"Yes, and you already know what I want to ask… have you thought about what we discussed about college?" he asked, holding her shoulders, and she sighed heavily, pulling away.

Dad had offered Yelena a chance to choose a good college, hoping she would abandon the crazy idea of working as a mechanic. He, and all of us, wanted her to pursue an education, but she had been stubborn about it. I had asked Dad to try, and he made her the offer.

"Derek… as I’ve already said… I really appreciate the offer, but I can’t accept… it's too much…" she said, giving her usual excuse, and I sighed in frustration.

She was choosing not to have a future…

"Yelena… please… don't turn this down… it's your future… I worry about you… my daughter loves you… and she's leaving soon… I just want to spare you both the pain…" Dad said carefully, and Yelena got up from the table, visibly upset.

"As I’ve told Kate… we can make this work if we want to… but I'm not giving up my job. It's what I love doing, and I'm saving up to open my own garage… in a few years, that’ll be possible." She replied, reaching for a glass at the sink, drinking water with a hard expression as I sighed.

"That’s a shitty plan… you know you'll never open your own business, Yelena. You'll end up stuck in this fucking town, always working under cars at someone else's garage." I growled, and she set the glass down on the sink with a light, deliberate motion.

"I've explained this to both of you already… it's my choice, and I'd be grateful not to be treated like this, Katherine. It's not fair… it hurts that you don’t trust me… and I think it's best I head home now. Once again… thank you, Derek…" she said, walking out the kitchen door, and I waited a few seconds before following her.

She was smoking a cigarette by her car, looking thoughtful, and I approached her, still angry.

"You talk about plans… the future… but you're just pushing us away with this refusal to consider your education…" I muttered, and she turned to me, looking more heartbroken than ever. Her expression made me instinctively take a step back. I had caused that look.

"Kate… I do study… I go to school during the day and take my mechanics course. I work every free hour I have to save up… all within my means, aiming to build a good future… it's so unfair for you to speak as if I'm wasting something… I’m not. I'm learning a trade I love and that I'm really good at… and you know that…" she said, pointing at me before wiping away a few tears calmly, and I listened, feeling miserable to see her like this.

This was my fault… I never wanted to put that look on her face again.

"Everything I want for my future… I want because of you, Kate…" she whispered, inhaling deeply from her cigarette with trembling hands, and I straightened, trying one more time.

"Then agree to go to college so you can learn more about the trade… take the chance to have a better opportunity… your future can’t be just because of me… do it for yourself… My dad could even help you open a garage when we get back…" I pleaded, as I had been pleading for a year, and she gave me a bitter smile.

"I can't, Kate… and it's not about your dad's money… It's simply because I don’t want to. I want a simple life… here… working with my own hands to have my garage one day… waiting for you to come back from college… saving up to buy you a nice ring… taking you on trips… surprising you with a song you love… maybe that Bryan Adams song you adore… and I wish I could get down on one knee and ask you that… and if you said yes… we’d buy a good house… you’d have the career of your dreams, I’d support whatever you choose… you'd have your fame, your career… I’d have mine… but I’d be waiting at home for you every day with dinner ready… and I think we could truly be happy… just like that… without big problems… without any drama…" She cried as she described her dreams, and I knew I couldn't argue with her… the plan sounded perfect… even though it wasn’t my plan.

I wanted to be with her… but I also wanted so much more than staying in this town forever.

I reached for her face, kissing her gently, knowing this was the right thing to do. "I won’t push this anymore…" We’re too young to be thinking about such big decisions… our maturity should be spent on choosing more tangible things.

I just wanted to choose Yelena… and I’d choose her as long as it was possible.

Our night was saved by the realization that we didn’t need to decide anything big today… not today… Today would just be a day for us to be two ordinary girls… on a perfect date.

Still exhausted on her chest after hours of love, I heard her soft voice in my ear. "So… are you gonna marry me one day?" she asked, as always, and I laughed.

"Maybe… let's see how this goes…" I teased before hearing her gasp.

"How dare you? If you don’t marry me… you’re not marrying anyone else… promise me… me, you, and Bryan Adams no matter the year…" she said, extending her hand to me, and I clasped her fingers, kissing them.

"I promise you, Milaya … I’ll marry you one day, and it will be the best day of our lives." I leaned in, feeling her fingers tracing my face and shoulders, a kiss so gentle it made me moan with… pain …

But why a moan of pain?

The sky changed colors… everything shifted… Yelena dissolved from my arms… the only thing that remained was the touch…

God… at least she’s here…

I remembered everything that had happened lately and prayed to all the gods. I ignore that everything from the past ten years was just a dream… like in a bad movie… and that I’d be 17 again… and we’d be lying naked in that car.

I slowly opened my eyes to see Yelena…

"Hi… are you okay?" she asked, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, her fingers gently grazing the skin under my eyes. I moaned in pain, knowing I wasn’t… I didn’t wake up at 17… but there was something I could try to hold onto, just like when I was 17.

Her…

I moved closer slowly, feeling my sore body, remembering now… it had been bruised… damn… but I kept moving as best as I could to touch her beautiful face. Pressing my forehead to hers meant the same as always… the lesson she taught me since we were young… it was our intimacy.

My dream reminded me of something I had lost a long time ago... the courage to say exactly what I want and need… and I wanted to get that back. Maybe if I reclaimed that, I could try to regain... my... love.

“I’ve never felt better, Yelena…” I said, kissing her forehead.

She sighed, touching my hair, and I looked into her tired eyes, wondering how I could make everything better now. My initial plan was to tell the truth… Now… I wanted to tell the truth and fix everything in this broken relationship with her.

Me and her... no matter the year... I want it to be now... this is our time.

Her gaze mirrored my feelings, as it once did. I knew she would try harder if I could be better now. It was always like that for us.

I felt her reach for a kiss, but I pulled away, feeling all the wrong emotions… it felt unnatural to back away from her... but I needed to fix everything first.

"I really wanna kiss you... and maybe even more than that… I’m not entirely sure yet… but we need to talk first… and I don’t wanna do this with a bunch of people around downstairs… Can we do this now?” I begged, and she nodded, waiting, though her gaze seemed painfully hungry for me. I can’t believe I spent ten years without having that look directed at me…

“To start, I want to tell you that I’ll understand if you get angry with me… I’ll understand if I end up even more bruised tonight… I swear I’ll understand… and I’ll let it happen if that’s what you choose… but after that… everything will be reset for me… after that… it’ll be just me… you… and this year—” I began, but she touched my face to interrupt me.

"Hey… let’s do this… I’ve spent an entire hour thinking about everything between us… Peter was your lawyer, and he left me reflecting about us… so, tell me everything all at once… honestly… without filtering or sugar-coating anything… without worrying about what we’ll do afterward… I want you to be honest… like when we were kids, and you couldn’t lie to me… I don’t wanna fight… I know I won’t like what I’m about to hear… but I need to hear it… now… I promise we’ll talk about whatever else we did all day, okay?” she asked urgently, in a soft voice, and I looked at her, intrigued.

"What did we do, Milaya ?" I whispered, and she huffed, squeezing my cheeks as if I were being silly.

“Kate… we’re being… us … and I don’t understand it all… but kissing you was like… nothing else… what we did in the office and this now…” She breathed against my skin, and I melted into her. “It feels like not a day has passed, Kate… I don’t know what to do with you… but I don’t think we have many options but to resolve this… can you promise me this will be resolved?” she pleaded, and I smiled, reaching for her face to place gentle kisses on her cheeks and neck. She held onto me for several minutes while I took in her perfect scent, concentrated at her neck as I had done so many times. I just wanted to savor what I knew would be my last moments of peace until I could explain myself.

“I promise I want to fix everything for us, Yelena… I understand now… but I’m going to need you to promise that twice over… Because I have something big to tell you… and then we need to talk about a lot from our past… And I really wanna come back to this bed later and sort out whatever we need to…” I said quietly, nervous, both because of the subject and the way she moaned, pulling me from her neck.

“God, help me not to kill an Oscar-winning actress tonight…” she prayed under her breath, and I laughed, unable to contain myself as I sought her face for a chaste kiss on her lips. I kept us in that contact long enough… until she sighed, almost happily. In many ways, it was a farewell… A farewell to everything I’d never be again… Everything changes now…

I’d change everything for Yelena.

She pulled back from our kiss just to smile, then found my lips again for another gentle kiss that sent shivers through me. It was just a touch of our lips, but then she changed her rhythm, letting small nibbles convey her need for me. 

Not a day had passed…

I breathed, holding her completely before she muttered, “Start, Katherine, before I strip us both, and this damn conversation doesn’t happen again…”

“Okay… Here we go… Are you ready?” I said, scared, and she huffed, kissing me again with a nod. “I’m listening. Breathe and say it all.” She was now much more attentive.

“Right… so… You know I never came out … the closet… after I went to college, right?” I asked, and she nodded, displeased. Of all people, she must be the one most bothered by the fact that I hid.

I continued, “I know you hate that… but then… I had to deal with a lot of pressures… it was necessary…” She huffed, intertwining her fingers with mine.

“It wasn’t necessary, but go on…” I bit her finger, mocking her pout.

“Stop interrupting me… the point is, I’ve had many women all these years… and I paid each one of them to keep quiet… and I did a lot of wrong things to stay famous… I slept with people… I… did everything… I did it all for the fame I have now…” I said, and she groaned, rubbing her face.

“Kate… okay… I know about the rumors of prostitution in this fucking life you chose.” She groaned into her hands, and I turned to look at the ceiling. “It has to do with who you are… I get it…” she whispered, seeming increasingly upset, and I hurried.

“Well… yes, there’s a lot of dirt in my past, and I really worked hard to hide it… just as hard as I worked on-screen… and this is where the mess begins… There's an interview of mine that never went public… from about four years ago… one where I said a lot of terrible things… I was so lost… and drunk… it was a mistake… in that interview… I told about how I was abused by a girl—” I was revealing everything when Yelena bolted upright, furious.

“You what?” she asked, shocked, and I sat up to pull her back to the bed.

“Let me finish... I feel like every time I try to talk to you about this, I keep getting interrupted… I need to say this…” I pleaded, and she sighed, sitting on the bed, watching me.

“I’ll listen, but first, tell me… Are you okay?” she asked, concerned, touching my face gently. I wanted to disappear—she thought someone else had done this.

I closed my eyes, thinking about all the lies I'd told in the interview, but the truth is that, yes, Me and Yelena had a toxic relationship at times. Still, the biggest mistake was mine that day.

“Kate, I’m so sorry… I know our relationship was crazy sometimes… I’m not a model partner… but if someone did something to you... I’m here for you. We can handle it together, whatever it takes..." She offered her support, and guilt flooded me, making me cry harder for the way I’d painted her.

“I… let me finish… I’d stupidly decided to come out in the worst way… I was going to tell everyone it was just a phase… a phase that ended badly… I just wanted to escape all the speculation around my sexuality. I talked about this girl… I mentioned… I said… I-I… I said that… you… had abused me—" I stammered, my cowardice breaking through before she cut me off.

"I…  WHAT ?" she gasped, horror overtaking her face as she pulled back from me. The shock in her expression and the way she withdrew made me shiver.

I had to get it all out...

"Hey, please… just… let me finish… I need to… that was my plan to make the gossip stop… I told her about it as if you were the monster because that would be the perfect excuse to get the rumors off my back… I was drinking, dwelling on every little thing between us… I said so many stupid things to her… I was miserable… but the next day I regretted it… and the reporter was understanding… even though I had to pay a fortune to keep it from being published." I said, all in a single breath.

"What kind of… abuse?" She whispered, her voice barely there. She was crying, broken because of me, and with good reason. Yelena and I were never innocent in our issues. We made mistakes together… but I was the one who always played dirty on purpose.

I stared at my hands, ashamed to be the one who’d stooped so low in an already broken situation.

"Sexual… psychological… not that it makes a difference now…” I mumbled, humiliated.

“How could you… Kate… for God's sake… how could you? Of course it makes a difference… it means everything… a colossal difference… this is insane…” she said, glancing over her shoulder at me, her betrayed sobs more painful than if she’d been furious.

“I know I messed up… but is it really that insane, Yelena? … it’s not like it’s all a lie… I… I never got over what happened… you cheated so many times… you said all those things… you treated me like nothing when I retaliated… it was…” I lashed out, wounded.

“Kate… nothing we did… none of that justifies the crime you accused me of… Yes, we fought like animals, we were a mess, but I never disrespected you… I never lost sight of making it about your pleasure… or… love…” she said, disgusted by the whole situation.

"I know… it was the same for me too, but we hurt each other in so many ways… I know we made tons of mistakes… but the truth is, I told that woman that only you were at fault... I said I couldn’t be with girls because there was this one girl who’d left me traumatized… and I was horrible… even though the pain was real… I did it because I just wanted the gossip to end… it was affecting my work…" I said softly, the weight of everything crashing down on me. Just thinking of my words made me understand that there was no excuse. No matter how you looked at it, this was something that should’ve been settled between me and Yelena…

"Look, Kate… I’m not even here saying we were perfect together… we both cheated… we fought like idiots more than once… we said horrible things to each other… that last time… I was brutal with you… you were cruel with me… I know all of that… but that’s also why we ended things… you and I decided that… we talked about it… after all that mess with you, Maria, and Natasha fighting like savages… we talked… it was just us, no one else… we decided…" she said, pacing around the room until she stopped, her whole body tense before she looked back at me. 

"I want to see it…" She almost shouted. Her frantic, desperate look made me wish I could gouge my eyes out.

"You don’t need to see it…" I said, feeling shame swallow me whole.

Yelena doesn’t need to be exposed any further.

"I want to see it… I have the right…" she said, holding my phone out to me.

“Please, Yelena… it’s already bad enough…” I begged, but she moved closer, her face inches from mine, resolute.

"Kate… I swear to God… I never laid a hand on you even if you deserved it… you know my rules with you… but I’ll beat the life out of you and make every single one of your lies true… I’ll go to jail for this… I’ll make Maria throw away the key… show me. Now !" Her words were harsh, threatening, but she was only crying, begging to see it. I knew she would never hurt me.

"I just…" I murmured, reaching up to touch her face, kissing her cheeks. I wanted nothing more than to calm this trembling, fragile woman. "I don’t wanna hurt you even more, Milaya… " I whispered.

"Now, Kate… I want to know… I need to know… it’ll be better for me if I know…" she said, pulling away from me.

*

I opened the video for Yelena, then sat on my hands, tense as she watched me speak with the reporter, tearing apart everything we once had. Every detail of the video made me wanna throw up. I’d watched it a thousand times before and condemned myself each time.

I relived all the memories of that day, seeing my own cruelty play out once more.

"So, I'm here because you want to finally address a delicate topic… it's something important... The speculation about your sexuality has followed you since the start of your career... Are you gay?" the reporter asked directly, and I laughed loudly, taking another sip of my vodka.

"It’s all just nonsense from people trying to bring me down. There's no girl out there who’s more straight than me..." I boasted confidently, and the reporter held up a few photos of me at parties with some friends. Thank God I could use that excuse.

"Sweetheart… Those are all just friends... don’t you act affectionately with your friends?" I said, gritting my teeth, annoyed by this intrusive woman, but knowing it was necessary.

"So, you've really never been with girls?" she asked, keenly observing me, and I smiled. She was attractive… Maybe if she weren’t so gossipy, I’d have given her a chance.

I leaned closer to her, resting on my elbows.

"You know… my life would be way more fun if I’d been with girls… I’ll admit that much… people say it’s all softer… I’ve got no problem with it… I have a lot of gay friends… and I even was with a girl once… college stuff… you know… but it was a nightmare… nothing soft about it…” I said with a smirk, giving her a wink.

"Oh, so we've gone from never to once ?" she pushed, and I laughed bitterly. She thought she had me cornered.

"No… we’re moving from pointless things that never interested me or gave me anything… to things that are actually worth talking about… ” I said, pouring her a glass of my vodka, which she accepted with a smile. My gaydar was screaming, this reporter was definitely gayer than I’d ever been.

"Alright… then tell me more…" she said, raising her glass to mine, and I grinned as she crossed her legs, leaning in suggestively.

"Like I said… nothing big… this girl was a psychopath… she even tied me up, and not in a fun way… she kept me locked up for days… I was forced... she took away my choices..." I said, conjuring up the face of the woman I loved to hate. Yelena would be furious when she saw this, which was perfect for me. I’d clean up my image and enrage her in one go.

"So, are we talking about sexual abuse here?" she asked, dead serious, and I sighed.

"Yeah, I never had any interest in girls, and she seemed intent on showing me why I should try… I was drunk… and then she took advantage of it…" I said, using all my acting skills to look wounded, and the woman touched my hand in solidarity.

"I'm so sorry, Kate… I never imagined that was the reason this topic was off-limits." She sighed, and I smiled. This was easier than I thought…

"Don’t worry… that’s why I wanna talk about it… she’s an angry girl from my hometown… she was always obsessed with me… and I never encouraged her… but she didn’t take that well… she forced her way into my dorm one night, and it was traumatizing... Now you understand why I don’t fuel the rumors?... it’s something that hurts me… I should have pressed charges against her… but I felt pity… her life would be ruined... you know how things are these days..." I said, touching her hand as she sighed, sensitive to my lying cause.

"That woman is a monster... when this story goes public, she'll pay for it... I'll make sure of it…" she offered, defending my worthless honor, and I nodded, smiling sweetly, knowing what she truly wanted from me now.

"It’s something from the past, and I don’t want to relive it… you know… getting involved with girls is complicated… I know that well... that’s why I avoid talking about it. I know how much it hurts… but maybe putting it out there will help me manage the fear I still feel… it’ll definitely lessen the rumors about me..." I said, wiping away a fake tear, almost proud as I watched her get teary-eyed, offering me a tissue.

I downed my vodka, feeling my head get lighter and lighter, and she smiled.

"Okay... publishing this will help you... I'll help you find justice… Now, let’s talk about your first Oscar, to cheer you up?" she said, changing the subject as she moved to sit beside me, and I smiled, offering her more of the so-called drink of the gods, with a silly smile.

"Alright... but I don’t want to record any more of this… let’s chat off the record now…” I said, delicately touching her thigh.

*

The video ended with me laughing, and Yelena seemed frozen in place. She’d watched everything… she’d seen me speak about her in such a vile way and then shamelessly flirt with the reporter the entire conversation.

"You fuck her, didn’t you?" were Yelena’s first words, and I felt my bones turn to ice. Of course she knew. She always knew.

I nodded, staring straight ahead. I couldn’t look at Yelena. "Everyone always wants something that seems fragile, broken, or popular in my world, Yelena... She could barely wait to use the line about showing me how a real woman would treat me." I said bitterly, and Yelena got up, pacing the room.

"And why did you change your mind? Why didn’t you let her publish it?" she asked, wiping her nose impatiently. Her frail, wounded voice made me cry with guilt.

“I woke up the next morning to a message from her… She’d sent me the file to review, and only then did I realize the full extent of the mess I’d made… I threw up… I felt sick with myself… it was… I can barely believe I said those things, Yelena…” I sobbed. “And that’s not even the worst part…” I added, watching her hug her knees, her own audible sobs filling the silence.

"Just tell me, Kate..." she hiccupped, and I gathered the courage I needed. I would never be a coward again.

“There’s this guy… who wrote a biography about me… he’s been digging into every detail of my life for years now… he blackmailed me for ages… and he’s got it all—everything he wrote is true,” I said, feeling the weight of my own words.

Yelena looked at me, her eyes urging me to continue.

“In the middle of everything he dug up… he got his hands on this interview… he managed to get it, and he’s going to publish the entire thing soon…”

She jumped up from the bed, horrified. “What did you do about it, Kate?”

“I banned it, threatened him… I ruined his career,” I said coldly, and she gasped. “But that was a mistake… I broke him… and now he’s… he’s in a place where he just doesn’t care what I could do to him anymore… I already took everything from him…” I explained, pacing the room.

Everything here was different, yet her scent lingered—the same perfume. I missed this room. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss it…

“This is so messed up, Kate… how could you? After everything… you were the person I loved most in this life… I’d never have hurt you like this… after everything I did for you…” she said, humiliated, and her words sliced through me.

I knelt in front of her, feeling the urge to apologize despite every grievance I held against her. I’d gone too far this time.

“I might have a thousand reasons to hate you… you hurt me… and I still feel the effects of what you did to this day… but I was wrong in this, and I want to ask for your forgiveness… It was just a stupid idea… I was only trying to protect myself… No one will know it’s you… I never said your name…” I pleaded, holding her hands, feeling completely unmoored but knowing it was the right thing to do.

“Forgiveness? Kate… you’re still the same spoiled girl as before… it’s impossible… you don’t even understand what happened… it’s like… how can you not see it?… God… this… my God…” She stood up, retreating from me, and I sat there, consumed by shame.

“I know you’re right, Yelena… and that’s why I’m here… I wanted you to hear it from me… he’s going to publish this… he’s already decided… he doesn’t even want my money anymore… but I’ll keep using every resource I have if it’s necessary to keep this from blowing up… I’ll buy every copy… I… I’ve even spoken with the publisher… the reporter won’t say a word… she signed a contract with me… and I’ve spoken to all my friends… for all intents and purposes, I’m just the victim who doesn’t want a scandal…” I explained, watching her look at me in disbelief.

“Screw that… your concern is with how this will be exposed, Kate?… We’re talking about how you… you don’t even get it… someone will always know what you said about me… someone will always see this mess… and it’s not even about the crime you accused me of… it’s… it’s your madness, overall… You just think it’s wrong because you got caught in a lie… you’re only worried about how the scandal might affect you… but what about me? What am I supposed to do?” she said, distraught, and I stood up, exhausted.

“That’s not true, Yelena… I’d have… I’ll fix everything for you… this isn’t only about me…” I tried, but she stepped toward me.

“No, Kate… you didn’t think about how this would affect me… even now, that’s not your concern… You didn’t say my name, and obviously, in Hollywood no one will know who I am… but here… here everyone knows who we are… everyone here knows what we went through… you… they’ll talk about you as the victim you think you are… and in a month, some other famous idiot will be the next headline… but not me… you… My God… this could destroy everything I’ve built for myself… gossip in a small town works like that, Kate… I don’t even… how could you… how can you look at me… even talk to me…” she said, nearly pulling at her own hair.

I had no words to defend myself. I didn’t feel like I could, nor did I even want to defend myself anymore. I understood everything she was saying.

“Yes, this is another one of my mistakes… I understand what you mean… I have nothing but my fear and my immaturity to blame. I can only offer everything I have to prevent this from escalating further… I’ll do whatever you want, Yelena… I’ll do anything for you,” I said, clinically. I needed to give her the seriousness Yelena deserved and had always deserved.

“Oh, you’ll do anything for me?! What I want ?!” she snarled, and I shrank back from the look in her eyes. “Here’s what I want you to do… I don’t want you to interfere anymore… let him publish it… let everyone see… I don’t want you spending another cent to stop any of it…” she spat, rummaging through a drawer. She grabbed a change of clothes and returned to toss them at me.

"This is insane… I won’t let them spread this about you…" I snarled, but she stormed back over to me, her eyes blazing with anger.

"Why do you even care?... You were the one who said those things in the first place! The real drama here is how you had the audacity to say those things about me, Kate! You only used me to shield yourself from something bigger, and as a bonus, you got a pity fuck out of it… No… I want everyone to know now!” she said, yanking on a shirt with jerky, furious movements. “Everyone’s going to talk about it, and everyone’s finally going to know who you really are… because don’t think for a second that when they come to me, I’ll stay silent… you know those vultures will come… I’ll tell the truth, nothing but the truth… the photos and videos of our entire life together might as well be shown, right?” she said, dripping venom, and I choked back another sob.

“Yelena… this shouldn’t be about us going to war… I don’t want that anymore… I want us to stand together against this… I need you by my side.” I pleaded, desperate, but she just laughed, louder and more bitter.

“No, Kate… I won’t stand by you in this mess… You’re going to pay for this in the only way that hurts you… you’ll be as exposed as I am!” She threatened, dropping onto the bed. “Now go take a shower… get dressed… and then you’re going downstairs… to deal with Natasha as you promised…” She said, her tone final, and I broke down, sobbing into my hands.

I hadn’t cried like this since I lost my parents. My body felt weakened by a whole new kind of pain.

“What is it, Kate? Are you crying now? Do you think you even have that right?” She demanded, coming closer, and I cried even harder.

“I… I’m scared, Yelena… I… I’m scared of this whole mess… scared of losing everything I built too… scared of Nat and Maria… scared of you… I just… I came here to… Maybe… I crossed the country looking for comfort from the only person I ever loved in this life… I didn’t realize… but maybe deep down that’s what this is… maybe I wanted… I wanted you to comfort me… my life is so fucked up… I don’t know what to do anymore… I don’t know what to do…” I sobbed, my desperation spilling out, and she laughed. That laughter sliced through me like a blade.

“Do you want me to tell you the worst part of all this, Kate?… It’s that I don’t even feel sorry for you… the worst part… no… the best part… is that you’re finally dealing with the weight of your actions… You didn’t come here for me… like I said… you came to protect only your own reputation… I never mattered to you… I was just too blind to see what a small person you always were… so do what you have to do and then leave… go back to your mediocre life… to your pathetic fiancé and leave me alone…” she spat, her tone dripping with malice, and I shivered at the hatred in her eyes.

“You promised we’d talk…” I pleaded, knowing I had no right to ask, but unwilling to give up trying.

“Kate… this is pathetic… do you really think there’s any space left for us? I can’t even look at you right now… There was a time I was sure you were my whole world, but you were always selfish with me. And in the end, you destroyed us.” Her words were like acid.

“Yelena, I want your forgiveness for this too… I was wrong all along… I see that now… I’ve been running away from myself more than anything,” I tried, but her scornful, disgusted look told me she’d stopped listening.

“I’m not your problem anymore… Don’t ask for my forgiveness… Your only problem now is that you chose to leave everything behind to chase after a world that never included me… That world—if you’re honest for just one minute—never accepted you either… this whole mess proves I was right… and I was fine with you leaving, with us going our separate ways… it still hurts… I was at peace… but then you dragged me into your filth… and now you want forgiveness?… want me to comfort you after what you’ve done? No. I’m ashamed of you… your father would die again of shame…” she bit out, resentment thick in her voice, and I felt like I would rather be beaten endlessly than have to hear that.

I gasped sharply from the pain, and she let out a bitter laugh at my suffering.

“Today changed a lot for me… did it mean nothing to you?” I tried again, only for her laughter to grow louder.

“So you think now, ten years later… you think you can just come back here and stir everything up again? I hate you, Kate Bishop… now I can say that without any shadow of the good feelings I once had… because I thought you were just ambitious… I thought the good parts of you were worth it… but the truth is… you were never a good person… you were always cruel to me, petty, selfish, arrogant… I look at you now, and I can say without a doubt… I hate you more than I ever loved you… and unlike you… you know without a doubt that I loved you…”

She finished walking out of the room, leaving me there… In a place where I had once felt safer than anywhere else… now feeling abandoned… feeling far dirtier from the shame I felt than from the blood and sweat of this whole miserable day.

*

 

 

 

 

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Notes:

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As always, feel free to share your thoughts on all this craziness either here or on X @onlycoments.

 

You can also find me on Bluesky @iceicebaby12.bsky.social or Instagram @twicebaby12.

 

Every bit of support is deeply appreciated. Thank you, as always, for the incredible love you've shown for all my stories. It means the world to me. Your encouragement truly makes my day!

 

*

Chapter 7: The Irony

Summary:

One day, the weight of a lifetime's actions will inevitably fall upon you. When that day comes, you simply grit your teeth and take responsibility.

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*

 

 

 

 

I could barely breathe as I stepped out of my room, still hearing in my mind the filthy way Kate spoke about me.

I couldn’t go downstairs now. My sisters would kill her if they saw me like this because of her. I climbed the stairs to the sunroom at the top of our house, feeling dead inside. That’s what Kate did to me. She killed me. Everything she had done before was nothing compared to this. If before it was about revenge, about immaturity… some issue between ex-girlfriends… today it changed. Now, it had taken on an absurdly serious tone.

How does this woman sleep at night? How could she look at me… talk to me… touch me… kiss me… knowing she did what she did? How could she say those filthy things about me?

A psychopath.

An abuser.

I sat heavily for many minutes, ruminating over the entire conversation, trying to plan my next steps. Could I handle the chaos that would come from Kate’s irresponsible actions?

This wasn’t something I could retaliate against, not in the slightest. It wasn’t something I could avoid. She herself couldn’t avoid it, despite all her fame, power, and influence. She thought she could solve it with money, and she made a man act desperately. I wonder what she did to him… What drives a person to refuse money in a situation like this? I have no idea… but I just know she must have wreaked havoc on that man’s life.

I can’t even imagine how this will affect my life. They’ll probably turn my life and my family’s life into hell. It’s exactly the right way to deal with people who commit the crimes she described. Someone who takes away another’s choices deserves to lose everything. But I… I didn’t do what she said. I was never the monster she painted me to be to that stranger.

I took deep breaths before going downstairs because I knew everything would be much worse when Nat and Maria found out. I didn’t want to deal with any of this, but my family needed to know. They would suffer the consequences of Kate’s lie one way or another.

Downstairs, everything seemed quiet. When I reached the kitchen, everyone was already at the table. I sat next to her because, despite everything, I still had to ensure her safety. I wouldn’t let my sister and sister-in-law dirty their hands with her.

"Are you okay?" Nat asked as soon as I sat down. I looked at everyone, then at Kate, who seemed to have her chin glued to her chest. I knew… it's shame… I didn’t even understand why she subjected herself to this situation. It wasn’t guilt… maybe stupidity… no… she’s not stupid.

"No… I’m not… but I will be eventually." I said, already serving myself, and everyone followed my example. Sonya looked at me carefully, and I reassured her with my gaze. Everything will be fine.

"So, Kate… how long will you stay in town?" Sonya asked politely, and Kate took a deep breath. I glanced at her sideways, waiting for her response.

"I have a film in pre-production… it’ll be shot nearby… a few months… maybe a semester or more… it all depends…" she said, playing with the food on her plate, seeming distracted.

Months? That’s too long. That means I’ll be exposed for months.

I swallowed my food hard, trying to regain the composure necessary to start dealing with this.

"And what’s the film about?" Peter asked excitedly, and I smiled at the innocent boy. He likes her. He’s captivated by the chaotic aura that surrounds Kate. Despite everything, he would need to—and should—be grateful to her. I wouldn’t interfere with their bond in any way.

She still seemed quiet as she looked at the boy, but then she smiled at him and answered. "It’s a period drama… a story about loneliness… A poetess who chooses to spend her days in retreat… but realizes that to write about the world… she needs to live in it… I think I’ll relate a lot to it." she said softly, smiling bitterly.

The irony… She’ll need to break to learn how to be a better person now… I have no more hope that it’ll happen, but I understand the reference.

"Will you win another Oscar?" Maria asked, bored, and Kate looked at her curiously. "What? Can’t I have watched your films?… You’re an idiot… but you’ve always been talented… I’ve seen them all." she said, almost offended, and I could see that Kate didn’t quite know how to respond.

"Thank you, I guess… I don’t know about the Oscar… but I’m confident this is one of the most challenging roles of my career… I’d like to win again with it." she said shyly, and I found myself watching her attentively while playing with my beans.

I watched the entire exchange between them, knowing well that when we broke up… it was a general breakdown. Kate lost much more than just me… We all lost a lot. Maria has hated her since she was a child but always cared for Kate and genuinely followed her career. We’re all proud of what she’s achieved, despite knowing now how she achieved it.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, pulling me out of my dissociation about her, touching my thigh, and I pushed her hand away as if she’d burned me.

I didn’t want to be touched by her or anything from her anymore.

Enough.

"Don’t touch me," I said, warning her so only she could hear, calming myself again.

"Then answer me." she muttered under her breath.

"I already said no. I’m not okay." I replied honestly.

"Please, can we talk after dinner?" she asked, and I shook my head without answering. I didn’t want to be alone with her. So, I decided to start the uncomfortable topic. I would lie to avoid a bigger mess. This would be my final act of protection for Kate.

I looked at her, asking with my eyes for her to stay quiet.

"Let’s start, Nat… Kate and I have already talked… the situation is that Kate spoke about me to a magazine… and these people are… they took Kate’s statements out of context… she vetoed everything, but someone wants to publish it without her consent." I lied, looking at everyone, and she gasped beside me, placing her utensils harshly on the table.

"No! I don’t need you to lie! Yelena is lying… you won’t protect me… I promised Natasha the truth, and that’s what she’ll have." she said boldly, but the way Natasha placed her utensils on the table while still holding her knife told me how risky Kate’s move was.

"Kate… don’t be stupid." I muttered, and she placed her hands under her chin, looking straight at Natasha.

"You can keep the knife, I don’t care… Maybe I’ll even let you use it. The truth is, I lied about Yelena to hide who I am… I preferred to dirty her image instead of mine… I told a reporter that Yelena abused me… said that Yelena was a persistent woman who sexually assaulted me and how I was a victim of her and her abuses… and I paid for it not to be published, but an idiot wrote a biography about me that will include that interview in full, and he doesn’t want money, I threatened him so much that now he doesn’t care… he’ll prefer the scandal… Nothing about this context nonsense… the context is always the same… I screwed up, and I came here to tell you." she said directly, without breathing, without stuttering, just spewing the words in a vomit of truths.

I bowed my head, feeling the full shame of being exposed again. This time, I was being exposed to my family, but I’d have to get used to it. Strangers would do the same soon enough. So, I raised my chin as defiantly as I could manage.

No one spoke for several minutes until Maria stood up from the table.

“Kate… outside… now.” she said, already heading out, and I gasped as Kate got up to follow her. I grabbed her arm.

“That’s not necessary.” I said, turning to look at her.

“Yes, it is. You said I should face what I’ve done, and I will. I’ll take full responsibility, starting with not lying to anyone here. Natasha, you can come too.” she said, pulling her arm free from me.

I sought my sister’s gaze and flinched at what I saw there. She was pressing the tip of the knife she still held into her palm, her knuckles white. But that wasn’t what scared me. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and I knew instantly that she had truly hoped for something better from Kate. She wiped her eyes harshly, as if making a decision.

“Sestra… please… don’t do this.” I begged, and she stood from the table with a resigned air. She showed me the knife she held and slowly placed it on the table.

“Sonya… Peter… hold Yelena.” she said as she walked out, and I turned to my friends, silently daring them to touch me. They looked back with sadness and betrayal. They were disappointed too and would never let me interfere. I knew it in my bones.

They stood and positioned themselves at the doorway, blocking me as Natasha left with Kate.

“Sonya… please…” I pleaded, trying to push past, but she turned her back to me, effectively trapping me in the dining room.

“Peter… you told me to handle this maturely…” I reached for his face, and he sighed, his eyes full of sorrow.

“I know… but you told me to stay alert… and I am. She’s not a good person. Let her deal with what she said about you. I’d be out there running her over with her own bike if my mission wasn’t to stay here and protect you,” he growled, sounding far more adult than I’d ever heard him before.

*

I stepped onto the threshold, knowing I was about to get the beating of my life. I knew how much I deserved for Maria to kill me right now. But as I looked at Natasha, the tears in her eyes caught me off guard.

I unconsciously stepped toward her. “Nat…” But it was her sharp step away from me that stopped me. I needed to tell her everything. I had to… but her next words… I would’ve preferred if she had skinned me alive.

“You know, Kate… I really thought you were part of my family… Despite all my protectiveness over Yelena, even with how hard I was on you… I hoped you’d come back for her one day. That when you came back, you’d be changed…” she said softly, and I cried in shame. She was absolutely right. I wouldn’t defend myself, but I’d keep telling the truth.

“I know, Nat… I had a plan when I came here… I just wanted to tell Yelena everything… so she’d hear it from me… so she wouldn’t be blindsided by these people… so she’d know I’d fix it despite my mistake.” I said plainly, and she scoffed, laughing bitterly.

“You think we care what other people are going to say? This is about the fact that you said those things in the first place, Kate… How could you? It’s Yelena .” Nat said through gritted teeth, looking tired as we heard Yelena’s shouts, trying to escape. I hated myself even more for putting Yelena under such stress.

I knew I had no justification, so I sighed, lowering my head. I just had to accept the beating—or death—I deserved and do everything I could to make it right.

“I’m wrong… I know… I know… I just… I wanted to get rid of the gossip… I wanted revenge… I'm a monster… but it still hurts so much…” I cried, wiping my tears harshly.

“You can hate her… No one ever judged the hate between you two… Both of you have made terrible mistakes, but she never hurt you… never stopped you from doing what you wanted. The proof of that is that she kissed you today… Despite everything, she still held on to that ridiculous love… that absurd loyalty to you.” Natasha said before walking over to Maria, who was leaning against the squad car. I walked after them, preparing to be kicked out of this place in every way imaginable.

“You know, Kate… when I saw you today… I thought it was my lucky day because I’d finally get my punches in with you… And I did… but I’m not happy about it. Despite everything and all our differences, I always thought of you as part of my family too.” Maria said, studying the knuckles she had used to hit me. I unconsciously touched my face, and she scoffed.

“I never stopped thinking of all of you… I know I was wrong—” I began to defend myself, but she raised her hand as if it didn’t matter… and truly, I understood that it didn’t.

“Stop… stop defending yourself. There’s no defense for this, Kate. Right now… I should kill you and bury your body for hurting my sister-in-law again… I should humiliate you more… beat you more… let everyone know about your arrest… tarnish your already filthy image… but none of that offends you, does it?” she asked softly, searching my face, and I shook my head.

“I’d really let you kill me if it would fix everything.” I said in a whisper, and Maria laughed bitterly.

“I know… You’d allow it all and then wriggle your way out of it… Pay people to clean it up. I know how people like you work… you love playing the martyr.” she said, studying my face as if looking for something deeper.

“I’m not the victim here… and I’m not trying to escape… I’m not the one who was wronged here… I know.” I said, planting both feet firmly in the reality that I needed to take full responsibility for my actions.

“Really? Are you willing to expose yourself and risk losing everything you've built to fix what you did? Will you do this for Yelena?” Maria asked attentively.

“Yes, I want to make things right, not just for Yelena… but because it's the right thing to do.” I replied, looking at the two women I always considered part of my family.

“Then, we will help you…” Maria said softly, and I looked at her in surprise.

“What?” My doubt mirrored Natasha's, who stared wide-eyed at her girlfriend. “And how will we do that? She said he doesn’t want money…” Natasha asked, concerned, and I sighed.

“You can’t expect me not to try, Nat… I’m not going to let Kate ruin Yelena’s life. And if I have to help her maintain the lie she wants to live, then that’s what I’ll do… it’s the right thing. This idiot also can’t lose everything she’s achieved now.” Maria said, wiping her face, making me feel even worse.

“I don’t know what else to do… maybe subconsciously I came here seeking help… I don’t know… I just…” I cried, leaning against the car, and Nat touched my shoulder.

“Did you really come here with good intentions, Kate?” she asked, and I nodded firmly. That was the absolute truth.

“Yes, Nat… I did… and I’ve done everything I could to try to avoid this. My agent has been helping me, but he’s upset, and rightfully so, because I threatened the man.” I said angrily, and Maria snorted.

“Alright… beatings aren’t an option, then… money is off the table… you must have already made the man lose his job. Call your agent and a good lawyer here. I want to talk to them.” Maria said seriously.

“Let’s finish our dinner before Yelena loses it, thinking I’ve killed you.” she added, leading us back inside.

“And Kate… don’t think this changes anything between us. We’ll help you for Yelena… and then you’ll disappear. And I won’t file a complaint or strip you of all your money and prestige out of respect for your father.” she said, holding the door open for us.

The moment I stepped inside, Yelena ran to me, checking over my entire body, and I gasped in surprise, looking at everyone. For a whole minute, I just stared at her, recalling Natasha’s words. Judging by my feelings for Yelena, I knew she still felt the same for me.

“Are you okay? What happened?” she asked, concerned, wiping her own tears as I held her face.

“I’m fine, milaya… nothing happened. We just talked… planned a way to fix the mess I made. Can I have a moment alone with you?” I begged, and she hesitated. “Please, Yelena… just a few minutes, and then you won’t have to deal with me anymore…” I had come here to fix everything, and now I was sure I could.

“Go ahead, sestra… talk… don’t regret not saying everything.” Sonya said seriously, and Yelena took several deep breaths before taking my hand and leading us upstairs.

The small solarium, always lovingly tended by Yelena, remained as vibrant as ever, just as it had been since we were ten years old. Yelena had made me run through countless gardens to steal flowers and herbs she needed.

“Everything here is still so beautiful and fragrant…” I said, gazing at the little greenhouse we had built as our safe haven.

She moved slowly around the space, watering small pots, and I simply watched her closely.

“What did Maria say?” she asked without taking her eyes off the plants.

“She wants to help me fix this…” I said simply.

“Just like that? Out of nowhere? She didn’t hit you? Tell me the truth, Kate!” she demanded.

“No… it’s not simple, it’s not out of nowhere, and no, she didn’t hit me…” I picked a small flower and approached her. “She wants to do this for you… and so do I…” I said, tucking the flower into her hair as I used to do.

She looked at me in surprise before stepping away to grab a new pot and start preparing some seeds. “I don’t need you acting out of guilt, Kate!” she growled.

“I really want to make things better for you… and I understand now. I came here to tell you the whole truth, but since arriving, I realized I came to you because I knew you’d help me clear my mind. It’s crazy to think like that… I didn’t fully realize it until Peter told me. I’ve been blind… avoiding any contact all these years, thinking you’d mess with my mind… but I was wrong about that and so many other things…” These had to be the most honest words I’d ever spoken.

She didn’t look at me. She just remained silent, listening to my words, and I waited. I would wait for her as I always had, in many ways.

“I always thought I was the only person who truly knew you… for many years, I was certain of that. It’s like… I’d know the ending of the movie… I’d know if your character was lying just by looking at you… Peter and Sonya always lost their bets.” she said, wiping a small tear with a shy smile. Beautiful. I moved closer, acutely aware that, among the things that had changed today, was the fact that I no longer needed to pretend. I still had feelings.

“That’s interesting… I always felt naked under your gaze… in every way…” I whispered, touching the flower, and she finally met my eyes.

“From yesterday to today… I’ve realized that’s no longer there… I can’t read your eyes or your intentions anymore.” Her words were spoken softly, but they hit me as if I’d been punched.

I felt my eyes sting with tears, the pain from her words something I couldn’t fully understand.

“I'm so sorry, Yelena… I'm so sorry we lost each other… so sorry I changed so much… you warned me this would happen, but I was so blind…” I said, holding her gaze, and she scoffed.

“That’s life… you changed so long ago that now I don’t even know… I feel like I made you up in my mind.” she said simply, and I sighed sadly.

I wanted to tell her everything possible.

“No… you didn’t make me up… the part of me that I gave only to you… it was never a lie. I was just, and still am, immature… I didn’t understand the boundaries… I wasn’t respectful of my feelings… or myself. But I was always the same with you… your girl… ” I murmured, sitting on a small bench in the middle of the solarium, looking up at the skylight that let us see the sky.

“Would you do anything differently?” she asked softly, without looking at me, still tending to the small sprout she was preparing.

Would I do anything differently? I achieved everything I wanted…

“Despite all the mess… I studied… I have financial independence… I have a job I love… I can buy things… I can travel…” I said softly.

“That’s not what I asked, Katherine. And you’re just listing material things. I want to know if you’re happy with your choices… do all these things really make up for what you lost?” she said, slamming the pot angrily on the table before crossing her arms.

I thought about her words, knowing she was right once again. I had let her go to have absolutely everything I have now…

“I don’t know if I would have done anything differently, because I worked with what I knew… but with what I know now… I wish I hadn’t hurt my parents on the night they passed… I wish I had said a proper goodbye… I wish I hadn’t said those awful things about you… I wish I had… I know I shouldn’t have hidden… and I really wish I could be proud of who I am… maybe I… no… definitely, I should have kept you.” I quietly listed my regrets. “All of that would have stopped me from making all the messes I did chasing fame.” I said honestly, and she sat down beside me.

“We’ll never know…” she breathed her words, gazing at the skylight as if she held all the answers, but she wouldn’t tell me. She would never tell me again.

“I’m so sorry, Yelena… truly… I’m ashamed for having dragged you into this. And even if I can’t fix it, even if it turns into chaos… I’m still sorry…” I said, reaching for her hand. “Do you think you could ever forgive me?” I begged, and she laughed.

“I think we’re beyond forgiveness… I can’t forgive you, Kate… I’m sorry. What you broke today was much more than the childish trust I had in your character. Today, you broke my love for you… that doesn’t get fixed. I feel like now, I’m free of you.” she said, and I felt the physical pain of inevitability.

“That’s fine… I guess I deserve that…” I said, letting go of her hands and standing up. “I’ll… uhh… I’ll see you around…” I said, walking to the door.

I prayed she would stop me, like in some bad movie, but no…

“I hope not, Kate.” she said as I opened the door and walked out. I ran from there without letting anyone see me. I didn’t need anyone witnessing my shameful, copious tears.

*

 

 

 

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Notes:

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As always, feel free to share your thoughts on all this craziness either here or on X @onlycoments.

 

You can also find me on Bluesky @iceicebaby12.bsky.social or Instagram @twicebaby12.

 

Every bit of support is deeply appreciated. Thank you, as always, for the incredible love you've shown for all my stories. It means the world to me. Your encouragement truly makes my day!

 

*

Chapter 8: Maintenance and Repairs

Summary:

Kate Bishop has finally pushed it way too far, and now she’s about to face the pain for every single one of her choices. Meanwhile, Yelena’s cruising through her new reality way more chill than anyone expected. Everything seems picture-perfect… well, almost.

 

*

 

---

 

 

 

 

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?

One without a permanent scar?

And did you miss me

While you were looking for yourself out there?

 

Train - Drops of Jupiter

 

*

 

 

 

 

I watched her walk away again, but this time… I didn’t beg. I didn’t cry… I didn’t promise anything… I just felt… this void… 

It’s the right thing to do.

She’s not part of my life anymore, and there’s no room left in it for the Katherine Bishop I once knew. I need to be mature about this now and handle everything with a cold, calculated mind.

I went downstairs to finish my dinner, because even through the pain, I was starving—like I was hungry for more than just food… Is it crazy if I say it feels like I’m actually looking forward to finally behaving according to this strange sense of freedom I’m feeling right now?

No, it’s not crazy.

It’s like I need to slow down my pace…

I need to breathe and quiet everything inside me…

I knew I was right, because I didn’t even flinch when I saw she wasn’t at the table. And honestly? I don’t think I would’ve been shocked if she had been there either… I just… I feel at peace… and I didn’t even care about my family’s stares.

They’ll need to learn to live with what just happened— And everything else that’s going to come after today.

“This is over now… I’m starving… stop looking at me like that…” I said, taking my plate to reheat under their curious gazes.

That’s all, folks! I laughed at my own silly thought, mimicking Bugs Bunny’s voice in my head.

“Yelena, you’re scaring me. What did you two talk about?” Sonya asked, standing behind me, and that’s when I noticed a small line forming to use the microwave.

“Nothing major… I’m free now…” I smiled, watching my plate slowly spin to soak in the microwave heat. 

Ironically, I thought maybe I should get moving too… seek out the warmth I need…

But Natasha scoffed and yanked me right out of my crazy little epiphany.

“You two better not have sex again…” she groaned, visibly annoyed, and I laughed.

“Don’t worry… we didn’t… It was just a final conversation. We cleared things up and no one’s ever gonna see me crying over that again.” I said just as the microwave beeped, announcing my hot dinner was ready.

I headed to the table already eating fast, like I hadn’t eaten in days, watching my family sit down around me in silence. It’s not the greatest vibe, I’ll admit… But it’s the best I can do for myself right now… I just want to give myself a taste of normal.

“How did the talk go, Yelena?” Natasha asked, sounding impatient.

I shrugged, still unbothered. “It went great… stop looking at me like something huge should’ve happened… we’re grown-ups now…” I didn’t want to go into details about the things that are just between me and Kate… and they all looked at me, confused.

I stayed quiet for several minutes, just enjoying my meal. Because this is what I want and it’s what I’m going to have. I won’t deny myself anything anymore.

“Yelena… Kate left without saying goodbye… and you seem almost happy… Did you two decide something?” Maria pressed, poking at her food. I sighed as I finished the last few bites, not bothering to hide the way I licked my fingers, savoring the delicious sauce from the meat my sister had made.

I was purposely taking my time to answer, wanting to chew the final bite of that amazing dinner perfectly…

I wanted to breathe…

Figure out the right words to say… and that was the point…  I’m not turning this into a mess, and I won’t.

Kate will never affect me like that again.

“I decided this doesn’t need to hurt the way it always did. Kate’s not a problem anymore… definitely not mine. I’ll handle whatever comes, when it comes, and that’s it. It’s nothing major… I just feel free now…” I said, grabbing my plate to bring it to the sink, returning to kiss each of them before heading upstairs.

I don’t want any complications in my life… I never did… and now I understand I don’t have to put up with any.

It’s all settled now.

*

I walked all the way from Yelena’s house back to the one that used to belong to my parents. It’s been shut up ever since they passed, because honestly, I just didn’t want to deal with it… It’s not like I even knew what to do anyway, so like everything else… I just ignored it and went on living my life…

I sat down, exhausted from the walk, practically dragging myself up the backyard steps as I looked around and noticed how beautiful my mom’s garden still looked, even after I abandoned the house…

I filled my lungs with the fresh air, my eyes following the well-painted fences, scanning all the way to the gate… just a few feet short of being finished…

The grass was perfectly trimmed… Dad’s little workshop still looked organized…

Everything looked just like it used to… I let myself miss them for a few minutes, closing my eyes to keep the tears in check and pretend that maybe—just maybe—everything was still the same…

“Dad… Mom…” I murmured, reaching out to touch the steps beside me, feeling the familiar wood… The same grooves I’ve known my whole life. “I came back home… I missed you so much… I’m sorry it took me so long… I… I’m safe now… I know I am…”

I whispered softly, opening my eyes to look at Mom’s flowers. Touching the sweet-smelling hibiscus she loved instantly made me lean in to inhale their fresh scent.

The whole atmosphere was completely calming me down.

I finally feel like I’m home again.

I’m safe…

The certainty that this would be the safest place to hide… to find some peace while I sort things out… hit me hard as I looked around at the tall hedges Mom always insisted on keeping. They wrapped around the whole property… and I knew no one could see me here…  I pulled out my half-destroyed phone from this hellish day just to find thousands of notifications… But I wasn’t going to deal with any of that here…

Right now, I just wanted Clint.

I need him to help me get my life back on track…

“Clint…” I greeted my friend, relieved, still touching Mom’s flowers and noticing how well everything was being kept.

“Oh my God, you finally showed up!” He shouted, forcing me to pull the phone away from my ear as my pounding head throbbed again. He kept yelling, and I focused in time to catch a very threatening. “Where are you?!”

“Relax, old man… I’m fine… sorry I disappeared… I’m at my parents’ place… can you bring my stuff over here?” I asked quietly, and he growled.

“Kate, I’ve been looking for you all damn afternoon… ever since that weird call about hotels and virginity, you vanished… and there are tons of headlines out right now saying you got arrested today… how the hell did you get out of that?” He asked, clearly freaking out and I laughed.

"The sheriff is an old friend who… well… she took me there… it's a whole damn long story, but I wasn’t really arrested. There’s nothing on my record, I swear. Don’t worry…” I began, and he burst out laughing.

“Jesus, Kate… what the hell? Why didn’t you call me? How much did you have to pay?” he asked, still laughing.

“Actually… all I spent today was a few hundred bucks on clothes and condoms for a guy…” I said, and he gasped.

“I swear to God, if you were with an underage kid, you’re a monster and I quit—I'm heading to the station right now… I’ll ruin your career myself—” My eyes widened at the hurricane of insanity coming out of his mouth, and I cut him off before he could hang up and I’d lose the chance to defend myself.

“I’M NOT INVOLVED WITH A MINOR, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” I screamed over his rant. I took a deep breath. “Breathe with me, damn it… I’m not—” My tongue stung from how hard I bit it. I am a monster.

“Explain everything, Kate… I’m listening, and I’ll help however I can.” His words, though meant to be supportive, came out stern—and they didn’t calm me at all.

“Okay, so… the Sheriff is Yelena’s sister-in-law… and she and Yelena’s sister beat me up today. After they got their punches in… I finally talked to Yelena.” I sighed, shortening the story. I didn’t want to talk about that phone call. “Long story short… they decided we’re going to team up and figure out a solution for the whole bio mess… so if you could get our lawyer here this week, we can have dinner with them…” I said quietly.

“I don’t know how you keep getting yourself into these kinds of situations… I’m looking at the photos of your bruised face… on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your physical integrity right now? Do we need a doctor?” he asked, and I smiled.

“I’d rate it a solid pity score… full-on pity party score , okay?” I laughed, and he sighed—now sounding more amused than worried.

“Alright… I’m coming over and bringing some beers so we can talk this through… I won’t stay overnight if that’s cool with you… being in town makes pre-production easier anyway… but I’ll hang out with you for a bit.” He sounded like a dad, and I smiled as I wiped away the stupid tears stirred by his concern.

“I appreciate it, man…” I said, hanging up and heading to the kitchen to find the key in my safety stone. It was still there. Everything seemed to be in the same place I left it.

I stepped inside and was surprised to find everything neat and in order. Clint was probably taking care of things, so I didn’t worry—I just headed straight to my room, not wanting to poke around too much. Coming back here hurt on too many levels.

I let the cold water hit me, feeling my muscles relax as my bruises stung.

Fucking wet bandages.

I ripped them off, crying as I remembered how gently Yelena had put them on me. Still, I washed quickly… I didn’t want to think about her… it wasn’t safe to think about her right now, not in this place. I found a robe in one of the closets and was already feeling way better.

I spent a while walking around my room, remembering how things used to be. All the personal stuff was gone, but the room still felt livable somehow. I took a deep breath as the doorbell rang and went to open it, finding a sweaty Clint lugging my suitcases and a ton of beer.

“Make yourself at home… I’ll get dressed and come down in a bit.” I said, escaping up the stairs with one of my bags.

When I came back, he was chilling on the couch with the old TV playing a Christmas movie, one of my favorites. I flopped onto the couch and he handed me a beer, pulling me into a hug.

“Girl… your day sounds insane… I love the badass bruised look… but we’re gonna have to push filming back… that black eye needs to be off-screen.” He touched my face and I smiled.

“I’d love to say the other guy looks worse… but I can’t. Natasha and Maria made good on an old promise… they said the next time they saw me, I’d pay for it… and honestly, they went easy on me out of sheer pity for how dumb I’ve been.” I whispered, and he laughed.

“Well, let’s toast to that then… to your life!” he said, clinking his beer with mine.

“Now give me the full tea…” he said, nosy as hell, and I laughed.

“Well… they know all the shit… and Yelena hates me even more now…” I said quietly.

“Come on… that can’t be all. You’ve been off the grid all day dealing with this.”

He was dying to know, and I laughed, finally spilling every single detail of my shitty day.

“So… I didn’t use condoms with a teenager… but I did kidnap him.” I started, under the horrified gaze of my agent.

When I finished telling him about all my wild adventures today, he sat there in silence, running his fingers along the seams of his jeans. I reached out and touched his hand.

“Say something, Clint…” I begged, actually afraid he was done with me and he let out a heavy sigh.

“Look… ever since I met you… I knew you needed help. It’s like… you’ve always seemed like you’re barely holding it together. And since we got here, you’ve been so out of character that I got used to it… all the unpredictability, all the chaos… and I’m not even sure it’s a bad thing. You look like shit right now… but your eyes… you look different. What changed?” he asked softly.

I sighed, took a swig of my beer, then started peeling off the label—ironic, really.

I wish I could peel off the labels on me and all the crap I carry around, like I did with that bottle, like I did with the bandages on my face.

I do know what changed… but it’s more about what never did. I came back thinking I could just pick things up again without getting involved. But I was wrong.

“I was wrong… I’ve been wrong since the night I left this house ten years ago in a rage… I was wrong to leave things unresolved with Yelena… Wrong to hide who I really am… and coming back here forced me to face it all at once… and in less than 48 hours, I’ve felt things I buried inside me for ten years… can you even imagine that?” I said, still stunned by it all, and he reached for my hands.

“I can’t imagine it… but what I can say is that I like what I’m seeing… and I’ve got a feeling that when we go back home… you’ll be a new woman. I’ll help you through it all.” He pulled me into a hug I didn’t realize I needed so badly.

“I’ve got a lot of plans… but first, I’m going to sort things out with Yelena… then I’ll break up with Eli… and after that, I’ll show the world who I really am…” I said with full certainty in my choice.

“That’s what we’ll do then… I’ll be with you through it all…” he promised, pressing a kiss to my hair. “Now, let’s get back to some sort of routine… you’re going to sleep… and get some rest… I’ll have food brought in, your scripts, and study material, and you’ll start getting ready… our styling team will be here in a few days so you can define your look and costume… the lawyer’s coming later this week… we’ll take care of everything… but right now, I just need you to ice that eye and get some sleep…” he said, getting up to grab his wallet and keys.

“I promise I’ll behave… I won’t leave this place until the lawyer shows up… if anything, I’ll only go out for the shoots… I want to stay here… it’s the perfect lab… tomorrow, I’d like you to go to Yelena… pay for the bike repair… and also take care of what I asked the kid…” I said, walking with him to the door, and his gentle hug calmed me like always.

“I’ll handle it… just focus on getting better…” he said as he got into his car.

I know I can do this — and I’ll do everything I can to get back on my feet.

I dragged myself out of bed with the gut feeling that today was going to be crap… my sore body was the loudest sign of how drained I was.

*

The house was empty, and I just figured they wanted to give me some peace after everything that went down yesterday. No one woke me up, and honestly, I didn’t feel like getting up early like I usually do… and that’s fine…

I made myself a proper breakfast… a couple of eggs and some strong black coffee — just what I needed to power through… I chewed slowly, breathing, thinking about how okay I actually feel despite it all… there’s not that same weight on my shoulders as there was yesterday.

All that peace lasted through a long shower… lasted while I picked out a comfy but nice outfit… lasted while I sang my heart out driving the cabriolet… I took the long way just to hear more of Jeff Buckley’s voice singing about how I’m too young to hold on but old enough to be free… Jeff might be right about the first part, but he's wrong about freedom…

Because right now, I really do feel free…

I got to the shop and went straight in to park my cursed baby. “There you go… it’s over now… you’re safe…” I got out of the car, touching the paint like a fool talking to a car — but I didn’t stop myself. “You’ve proved once again that you can’t coexist with Kate Bishop… but I’m glad you still got me here after everything… now go back to your cocoon and behave…” I laughed, snapping my fingers at the seat like the poor car was the one to blame.

My walk to the office was quiet. No one really saw me — I slipped in through the back and saw everyone was busy with their own stuff. I figured I could take care of some boring security paperwork in the office today, at least for now.

But that’s not what happened…

There was a man sitting calmly on my couch, sipping coffee, scribbling notes in a notebook and talking on the phone. I took a breath and walked to my desk, listening to his conversation.

“Yeah, just a few days… It was a minor accident at home but she’s fine… we just need more time… yes… I’ve got everything we need here…” he said softly, clearly noticing me.

“I gotta hang up now, we’ll talk more later…” he murmured before pulling all the papers off his lap.

“You must be Yelena…” he said, standing and holding out his hand. I smiled, looking at the kind man with that warm smile as I took his hand.

“Yeah, that’s me…” I said, pointing back at the couch. “Would you like some more coffee?” He nodded, settling back where he was, and I went to make us another cup. “So… what can I help you with, Mr.…?” I left the question open for him to introduce himself.

“Oh, sorry… I’m Clint Barton… I just got distracted by how much you look exactly like she described…” he said kindly, but I felt the chill crawl up my spine.

“She who?” I asked, glancing at the picture frame that had landed on my head yesterday.

“Kate Bishop… I’m her agent,” he said simply, and I looked over my shoulder at him as I listened to the coffee finish brewing. My hands trembled a bit as I filled the mugs — almost spilling everything — but I took a breath and motioned for him to sit.

“So… to what do I owe your visit, Mr. Barton?” I asked, sitting down across from him, the peace I had earlier now completely gone.

“Oh please, just call me Clint… Kate already makes me feel old enough…” He chuckled softly. “I know yesterday was rough… sorry about that… she didn’t— uh… I’m here to fix—” He started awkwardly, but I felt the anger creeping up again.

“She sent you here… to apologize for her?” I really wanted to know, because the guy looked like he was ready to fix Kate’s mess.

“Hey… no… just breathe, woman… it’s not what you think… she’s not that kind of celebrity and I’m not that kind of agent… this isn’t like the movies where someone comes in to clean up her mess… at least not when it comes to personal stuff… just… relax…” he said with a soft smile, breathing slowly.

I found myself mirroring his breathing — he looked like he was trying to get me to slow down, and I followed along.

This is the first test…

Nothing about Kate should get to me anymore.

“Be quick, Mr. Barton,” I said bluntly, and he smiled again.

“Alright, I get it — you’re not gonna go easy on me and I’m definitely gonna feel old.”

He huffed dramatically and I raised an eyebrow at him as he smoothed his hair and got serious again.

“Okay, straight to the point… I just came to pay for the motorcycle repair and sort out the hotel thing for the kid…” His kind words immediately eased me.

Maybe I should turn down her help…

“Before you say no… she told me you’re the kind of honest woman who wouldn’t want her money… but she said — and I quote…” He did a perfect impersonation of Kate flipping her hair back. “ ‘Don’t mess with the gifts for the kid. I seriously don’t even know how to start the damn bike and mechanics aren’t supposed to be doing charity!’ ”

 

He finished with full-on drama, even squinting and pointing his finger just like Kate does, and I burst into an old-lady cackle because I could hear her voice in that.

I got up to walk over to my desk to grab the receipt for the expenses on the bike, still laughing. I may hate Kate for just about everything in this life, but she never gives anything to someone who doesn't deserve it — and Peter definitely deserves the gifts.

“Here’s the cost for the parts… but let her know the labor’s on the house… the boy's gonna do it himself… and I still need to teach him the value of hard work… If he got the bike effortlessly, then he’s gonna work to fix it…” I explained as I watched the man go over the estimate before reaching for his phone.

“Here… please enter your bank info… I’ll make the transfer right away…” He seemed calm, and I was finally starting to feel at ease too.

Once he had sorted everything out regarding the payment and the hotel, he asked for a glass of water, still watching me with curiosity. I stayed quiet, expecting him to indicate he was leaving but instead… he just seemed more comfortable as he walked over to my drinks.

“Mind if I…?” He nodded toward the bottles, and I gave a quiet nod in return.

“I’ll join you on that…” He clearly wanted to talk about her, and I had a feeling I might need a drink for that.

“You’re probably wondering what the hell this old man’s still doing here, huh?” The playful question made me laugh.

“No, I’m not… I know you want to talk about her… and just so you know, it’s not a problem to bring her up…” I murmured, steady and sure of myself.

I need to test myself.

“Oh… well that’s…” He sipped his whiskey, looking genuinely surprised. “I thought it’d be harder…”

“ Talking about her isn’t the hard part… dealing with her, now that’s the true hell and you must know that.” I smirked.

His satisfied laugh made me smile, because I could tell… he really knew the hell she could be. 

“She told me you’d say that… and I’m honestly blown away by how…” He paused, as if searching for the right words. “It’s like… she knows every corner of this place and everyone just gets who she is… and she seems so free here… something alive… pulsing…” He laughed again. “She’d probably say it’s just about the throbbing black eye…” he said with a snort, and I laughed along with him.

“That’s exactly the kind of dumb thing she’d say… she may never truly get it, but here, she’s always been able to just be herself… she just had to go out there and search for who she was first… all over the world…” I said honestly, without caring how I might sound — I was the one person who actually knew that.

“And you’ve got no idea how much that same world’s been beating the crap out of her…” he muttered, almost annoyed, and I let out a sigh, knowing I wanted him to calm down in front of me.

“Not any worse than what she took yesterday from my sister and sister-in-law… you should’ve seen the nerve she had while my sister held up a designer key — like, 30 inches long — ready to chuck it at her head…” I laughed, launching into the whole story about the keys Natasha threw at her and how she kept taunting Maria.

He looked half horrified and half entertained.

“I thought she was a coward… but no… look at her, she’s completely nuts, isn’t she?” He laughed, slapping his thighs, making both of us laugh.

“She’s always been like that, but I think now… everything just settled. It’s like she finally became who she was always meant to be…” I said, lost in thought, picking at my nails.

“I like that… I never saw this side of her, the real guts you said she had, all these years… but if you say so… I hope this means she’s finally growing up…” He said quietly, locking eyes with me, and I swallowed hard.

“I wish this was about her growing up… but I’m afraid character is still her biggest flaw… and maybe if you let her mess up that much, you share part of the blame…” I hissed, bitter.

“I agree with you. I know exactly what kind of shady character she can be… When I first met her, she didn’t have a good agent — just someone who fed her all the worst parts of fame… I watched her for years… tried to be her friend first… helped her however I could until I finally took over her career…” He said, visibly frustrated.

“Then I apologize for blaming you… it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s her and her cruelty.” I snapped, unwilling to soften.

“Do you really believe it’s cruelty? Or is it just your broken heart doing the talking?” He asked seriously, and I stood up, angry.

“I think this conversation has gone far enough… You don’t know me well enough to assume anything…” I almost shouted.

“Sorry, I just think 'cruelty' is a heavy word—” he began, but I cut him off.

“Calling the woman you love—” I stopped myself immediately under his sharp gaze. “Calling the woman you loved a psychopathic liar isn’t exactly an act of kindness…” I said, pointing at him.

“I agree with you… not kindness, not cruelty either… Maybe it’s just pain… anger… heartbreak… But cruelty would’ve been if she let it all go public… though honestly, I don’t think she should’ve said anything to begin with…” He said, trying to make sense of it all.

I pointed at him in agreement. “Yes, exactly… that’s what hurts the most…”

“I also came to tell you that I’m here to help with whatever needs to be done… not just for her… Believe me, I’d rather be fixing her image than watching her screw over the woman she loves…” He said, standing up — and I could barely breathe, staring at the spot where he’d been.

He said I’m the woman she loves…

No.

“You’re wrong… that’s not love… it's an obsession… a sickness… love isn’t like that… Maybe someday I’ll tell you what love really looks like…” I murmured, and he sighed.

“I’ll be looking forward to hearing about your love for her, Yelena… Now I’ve gotta go… but I’ll see you later this week, just like your sister-in-law asked… Don’t doubt for a second that Kate wants to make things right…” He said as he headed out, and I still couldn’t move. There’s no point in stressing about Kate anymore…

Our end is the only thing that’s certain…

It’s like we were never meant to coexist…

As much as it hurts to admit that there’s still love left…

*

“How’d it go? Did she accept?” I murmured while cleaning the kitchen, and he sighed quietly.

“Yeah, she did… just like you said she would… She’s amazing, Kate… not just ‘cause she’s beautiful… she’s a good girl, really…” He sounded sad, and I wiped my hands to walk over to him.

“Yeah, she is… But why do you sound so down?” I asked.

“I’m just thinking about how you never should’ve left her behind…”

His disappointed tone brought tears to my eyes.

I stepped away from him, hiding my face against the counter, because the shame of what I’d done still consumed me.

“I know, Clint… believe me, I know… Now I know…” I murmured, feeling his arm wrap around my shoulder.

“One day you’ll really be able to talk to her… I’m sure of it. That woman… she still loves you… I saw it today…” His quiet, comforting words made me smile.

Someday… no matter how many years it takes…

*

“This engine’s misfiring in the pistons, Pete… Can you tell which ones just by the sound? Come on… close your eyes… listen to the engine talk to you…” I said, resting my hands on Peter’s shoulders as we worked on a car together — just like we always do.

Every time a new problem popped up in the shop, I’d teach Peter how to spot the issue.

“I think the problem’s only in the first one…” he said, eyes still closed, and I smiled.

“I’d probably swap out the first and second one just to avoid any wear…” he added, hitting the nail on the head and still being cautious with the rest of the pistons.

“Yes, my boy… you nailed it… and I’m really glad you remember to preserve the whole structure, not just the isolated issue… that’s exactly how it should be…” I said proudly, kissing his cheek, and he burst out laughing.

“This is so cool… it’s getting so much easier for me now… I like spotting other potential issues too… saves a lot of trouble down the line…” he said, carefully eyeing the pistons.

“Exactly… you’re right… never forget that… always aim to solve the entire problem, not just patch things up. Don’t be like those idiot mechanics who always leave something behind just so the client has to come back. No. The goal is to have that client leave satisfied—and come back even when the car doesn’t need a big fix. Maintenance is always cheaper than repair. Train your client to go for maintenance and you’ll always have them.” I said, leading us toward the storage warehouse.

“Come check the inventory with me before you head out… I don’t want you covered in grease today…”

“Oh man… I’m so hyped…” he said, rubbing his hands together, practically bouncing along the path, and I cracked up at his antics.

“I can tell… So, what’s the plan for today? Kate already set everything up for you… Her agent came by…” I said quietly, and his smile faded a bit, clearly nervous. I glanced at him, curious.

“What’s up, kid?” I asked, wrapping my arm around his as we slowed down our pace.

“I’m still upset…” he said, letting out a heavy sigh, his frustration written all over his face. I know it’s about Kate.

“You don’t have to be… none of what happened changes what you had with her…” I said bluntly, and he searched my eyes, trying to read me.

“I don’t think it’s that simple… I shouldn’t fool myself about her… even the bike now… it feels like she used the bike and what she did for me to try and buy me over…” he muttered, picking at his nails, and I reached for his hands to give him some comfort.

I get it. For years, I saw Kate do the same to me, and I asked myself the same things… sometimes, she really did act that way. But I also know how generous she can be. I’d be petty to deny that.

Clint Barton’s words were still echoing in my head… Cruelty and a broken heart might explain someone’s actions—but they don’t define their character.

“Like I said… Kate’s not like the people you’re used to… and yeah, I can call her out for a bunch of stuff…” I took a deep breath, knowing I’d be fair in saying this.

“And I’d be right about all of it… but in many cases… she’s the kind of person who’ll make you repeat what you just accused her of—just to go and do it again.” I gave a bitter smile. Yeah, that’s exactly what Clint and I were talking about. She would’ve been cruel if she’d let that get published back then—and even now.

“That does sound like her…” he said with a shy smile, and I went on.

“I can never say she does things just because she wants people to like her… the crap she did—she did to please herself… you get that?” I met his gaze, and he nodded, though still looking a little lost.

“Sort of… but every new thing I find out about her makes her seem selfish… selfish people don’t do anything for anyone else…” he said, and yeah, he had a point. That’s the thing. It’s not about being evil… she’s selfish with what she wants… but with Kate, even that feels like an understatement.

“It’s not that simple, kid… the thing is—no one can force her to do anything… if she wants to do good, she will… if she wants to be fair, she is…” I swallowed hard, biting back the part of me that wanted to say that when she wants to do something bad, it’s just as intense.

Doing something bad in a fit of rage is very different from being naturally malicious… I know that. I’m exactly like her in that.

“What is it?” he asked, even more curious now.

“The point is… if she gave you that bike because she thought you deserved it… then that’s what she truly believed. If she wanted to win you over or buy your affection, she would’ve said it outright. Did she?” I asked seriously, praying that their time together hadn’t been some empty mess.

“Well… putting it like that… no, she didn’t do that… she really did help me that day…” he said quietly, thoughtful, and I looked at him, serious. “Oh, and she gave me nice underwear and cash for condoms.” he added, and I almost collapsed laughing, doubling over on his shoulder.

“Jesus… no way—how did that go down?” I howled, cackling with laughter, and honestly, relieved that she’d made it all… normal .

“Yeah, she did. Thinking about it now… she’s just as crazy as you and the girls… she gave me tips on how to ‘wrap my little guy’ like Maria, Natasha, and Sonya do… told me exactly how much a baby costs, just like you do… and she said… she wanted me to have a first time as amazing as the one you gave her…” he said, and my laughter just… stopped.

First Clint saying she loves me, and now this—her telling Peter about our first time. She really listened to the kid… she told me they talked, and he did too… they had a real, honest moment.

I let go of his arm and started checking some boxes, and he sighed.

“Sorry, Yelena… I shouldn’t have said that…” he said, clearly feeling guilty, and I turned to him, breathing heavily. Peter doesn’t need stress today.

“It’s okay… I’m not mad or sad… actually… yeah… our first time was really special… and I did everything to make it perfect… it was the best night of my life… and I’m glad she knows that too…” I said, smiling sincerely.

That doesn’t hurt. And just like it was with Clint… it wasn’t hard either.

Dealing with her? Yeah.

Talking about her? Sure.

But the good memory?

No. I’ll never let anyone ruin the good memories I have.

“I don’t know what made you two fall apart like that, Yelena… but I really hope someday you two can sit down and talk seriously—no hurt, no crazy baggage… What I saw that day between you two… it scared me, yeah, but it also gave me hope…” he said, and I looked at him—shocked.

“Scared?” I asked, and he crossed his arms, leaning against a pillar.

“Well, at first I was sad ‘cause I realized sometimes… we don’t end up with the girl. But also…” he said, scratching his head.

“And where the hell does hope come into that, kid?” I scoffed, folding my arms. None of this sounds good.

“It’s just that I also realized… sometimes, the girl never really stops being yours…” he said quietly, making me gasp.

“When the hell did you get so grown up, kid?” I said, shivering a little before ruffling his hair to distract him—so we wouldn’t have to keep going with this talk. I didn’t want to cry about it either.

“Don’t try to play me… you can lie to yourself all you want… but the way you talk about her… you two don’t hate each other like you tried to make me believe all this time… I saw it all…” he said, cracking one eye open at me in a sharp, knowing look. I laughed as he strutted off, skinny butt swaying down the hallway, getting back to work.

He knows I wouldn’t answer. And he also knows I don’t need to—for him to know the truth. 

The thing is, he’s right. It’s not always about hate… and sometimes, you just don’t end up with the girl… and honestly, that’s okay.

*

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Notes:

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As always, feel free to share your thoughts on all this craziness either here or on X @onlycoments.

 

Every bit of support is deeply appreciated. Thank you, as always, for the incredible love you've shown for all my stories. It means the world to me. Your encouragement truly makes my day!

 

See you soon.

 

*

Chapter 9: Ride

Summary:

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Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop are finally starting to show their true colors, and we’re getting a few more brushstrokes of their past.

 

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Notes:

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God, this story hits so good for me... I get just as hyped writing it as you do reading it. I’m always over the moon when people drop me amazing comments on this one specifically, cause y’all love how Peter’s so tied to Yelena here… and honestly? Same.

 

As always, hit me up on X @onlycoments to spill your thoughts on this fic. Thanks for riding with me through every single story.

 

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*

 

 

 

 

“What if out of all the absolute truths in this world… the core truth of our existence… is about… and what if I have to uncover this world beyond the walls of my safe little fortress? What if I can only understand how the… the… the… SHIT… DAMN IT…”

I cursed, breaking completely out of character. “What’s the next line?” I groaned.

“The workings of your feelings…” Clint read from the script. “Just breathe… you’re doing fine… Start again.” he murmured.

I repeated the whole scene, but pretty much choked at the same exact spot. “ The workings of my… FUCKING… feelings… ARGGHHHH…”

I screamed, throwing my drafts to the ground before stomping all over the stack of papers.

“I think we need a break…” Clint said, looking at my meltdown with curious eyes.

“I don’t have time, Clint… I can’t stop… I’m not doing justice to this damn character… and it’s turning into a disaster… I can barely…” I groaned as I dropped to the floor, hands clutching my head. Those little punches against my skull were all I had. Crying actually fit the character perfectly.

“Hey… hey… just stop, Kate… baby… shhh… please… come here…” Clint cooed, pulling me into his arms before lifting me into his lap and sitting us down on the couch. I didn’t stop trying to beat the frustration out of myself with slaps and punches.

“No, Kate… not like that… Breathe, kitten… please… you’re scaring me… we can’t keep going like this…” he said, holding me even tighter, keeping me from hurting myself. I could hear the sobs racking through me, but all I wanted was to cry louder. I wanted to scream for hours…

“How the hell am I supposed to do this, Clint… I don’t know if I can… I’m… I can barely sleep… I can’t focus… everything inside me feels raw and bleeding… I just wanna disappear…” I cried harder and he squeezed me close, brushing my hair away from my face.

“Please, sweetheart, don’t say that… for God’s sake… I’m so worried about you… I’m running out of options… I know you’re hurting… I know it was a brutal hit… but please… you have to keep going… in a few days you’re gonna see her again and you need to be whole when that happens…” he whispered, wiping my face clean. I nodded bravely.

“Yeah, she doesn’t need my crap… I’ve gotta be strong enough to handle everything… I know… I know… but it’s so much easier to say than to actually do… I really get what Sofie means when she wants to hide from the whole damn world… I’m just so tired…” I sighed, sinking into his chest.

“Then if you get that part, you’ll definitely connect with your character’s biggest realization… Sofie eventually understands she has to step out of her comfort zone… And that’s literally what you’re doing right now in your own life… You’ve let go of every single selfish instinct since this whole mess started… and I’m… the word I really need to say to you… is proud . Kate… I’m proud of you.” He whispered, and I twisted in his arms just to catch his almost-teary eyes.

Over the years, I had stopped seeing that look. I knew flattery… interest… fear… hate… but pride…? That wasn’t something I ever had in my life. I didn’t even feel proud of myself… how could I expect anyone else to be? Not after everything I’d done…

“No one’s been proud of me for a long time…” I muttered, slipping off his lap and grabbing my water bottle, half vodka, half denial.

“Well… deal with it…” He chuckled, taking the bottle from me. One whiff and he grimaced hard. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Katherine… so that’s why we’re crying… you’re letting vodka do the talking, dumbass…” He sounded exhausted.

“And there goes the pride… what did it last? Three days?” I groaned, downing a few more burning sips, feeling the alcohol numb me.

“No… thinking you’re an idiot doesn’t erase my pride… but damn, Kate… just help yourself for once…” he said, standing up to grab his shoes. “And while we’re at it… I’ve got a meeting now… I’ll come back tomorrow to check on you… until then… go work out, sleep, whatever… just distract yourself… but for God’s sake, behave until I get back.” He squeezed my shoulders and I nodded firmly.

“Alright… I’ll behave…” My exhaustion was written all over me.

He left with a few more reminders, promising more vodka and pizza, and I nodded before deciding to lace up my sneakers for a run. That would definitely help. I’ll run until I’m dead tired and collapse.

*

“Where are you headed?” Peter asked, walking with me, as I sighed under the weight of the box in my arms.

“I’m going to take care of the flowers… it’s been over a week since I’ve gone there… it’s probably a mess. Grab my toolbox for me, please?” I asked, hefting up the sack of manure I’d bought that morning.

I needed to take care of it today… maybe finish painting the rest of the fence, and if there was still time, mow the lawn.

It was part of my ritual every couple of weeks. I always set aside time to tend to the property carefully. It was my way of keeping their memory alive.

“Here… you need me to come with you? I’m done with my cars for the day…” Peter offered, loading everything into the truck. I smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek in thanks. As always, the gesture lit him up.

Ever since he finally lost his virginity, he’d been glowing like a pregnant woman. I was trying to give him plenty of free time to be with MJ. They needed to enjoy themselves before they had to move.

The plan was for them to go together, but MJ didn’t get into MIT, she was headed to Princeton instead. Not as good, but close enough for now.

“No… I’m fine alone… here, take the card… yours should be arriving in a few days… in the meantime, use mine… go finish buying your stuff, make sure you get good quality underwear and towels… take MJ out… you can use the truck…” I said, handing him the card and keys.

“That’s too much, Yelena… you don’t have to worry… I can just take stuff from home…” He always hated being a burden, but he was nothing but my biggest pride. I needed my boy to have everything he deserved when he was far from me.

“Don’t be silly, malen’kiy ! You deserve everything you have and everything you’ll have in your life… Take the car… don’t forget to gas up and check the tires… and tomorrow morning you’re free… use your time wisely, my boy… spend as much time with your girl as you can.” I kissed his forehead gently, and he kissed the top of my head before helping me into the truck.

“If you’re not sure what to buy, just call me… I love you, Pete… don’t ever forget that.” I told him from the window, and he walked around to kiss me again.

“I’ll call if I can’t figure it out and no, I never forget… how could I forget the best person in my world?” he said with a big grin. “Now go take care of the flowers… I love you, Lena.” And finally, I started off toward my time alone.

Time to relax and forget the chaos of the past few days.

*

I stopped at the market to pick up what I needed, missing my parents more than ever… for all the things that really mattered in my life.

Maybe cooking later, after finishing everything, with a good wine from their wonderful cellar, would be my reward. He told me it was all mine. They left everything to me and for… and I had to honor their last wish.

When I arrived, I went straight to the workshop, barely holding back my excitement. This was definitely my second favorite place in the world. I looked over the garden, mapping out everything that needed to be done, rubbing my hands together, eager to get it all sorted while the day was still young… so I could enjoy some quiet time afterward. I needed to go back home to sleep, but I didn’t want anything stealing from my quality time here.

My flowers looked beautiful as always, but I still checked every single one, trimming what needed, cleaning dead leaves, and refreshing the soil. Perfect . Nothing had ever made her happier than seeing her garden thriving. She’d spend hours explaining roses to me, and everything we needed to do to keep them perfect. Everything I did here was basically with her voice in my head.

The fence was painted quickly with my paint sprayer. That was a whole lot of fun. I loved building the fence myself, loved being able to give her that joy. Wherever she was, she’d know her garden was being loved and cared for. They asked me to take care of everything… and I would.

I always missed them, the two of them who had been like parents to me for most of my life. The longing was always wrapped in love, though it carried sadness too. I know I said my goodbyes properly, gave my last hug, told them of my love… I made so many promises… though I couldn’t keep the most important ones, I knew they would understand… I had to care for something greater… someone who needed me more.

When I finished everything, I stood looking at the garden, proud of my work, before grabbing the spare key I kept hidden in the kitchen windowsill.

I walked straight in, scolding myself for tracking dirt everywhere, but I didn’t care, I’d clean the kitchen later.

There was no need to rush… I smiled climbing the stairs I’d rebuilt last year, proud of how well they turned out. Inside, I still had doors to fix, but that was a future project. I had time.

In my favorite room, I slipped in as always, careful not to touch too much, not ready to handle it all yet. Only the bed was mine to use each time. I took a quick but relaxing shower before settling on the bed, scrolling through silly things on my phone. I wanted the perfect recipe for a good dinner for myself, but a long yawn made me even cozier.

Maybe a nap before anything else would help me… Days have been way too damn long…

*

I rushed straight down to the basement where I’d been setting up my lab. I kept a shower down there so I wouldn’t track dirt all through the house. Just yesterday I’d done a full deep clean, and there was no way in hell I was about to undo all that. So I dumped every bit of mess down there instead. Now I needed a shower, and then I’d call Clint, because the fridge was completely empty after I scrubbed it yesterday. I needed to restock everything, just like I needed to cleanse my soul. I hate cleaning, but God, I love the feeling that comes after the suffering.

Another surprising thing was the feeling spreading all over me… the fact that I had such a safe place, all for myself. So many times I complained about this place, called it a prison… but right now? Nothing in the world felt safer than belonging to this house.

I stepped out of the shower in my robe, drained but refreshed after running a few miles around the property. I let out a deep sigh as I sank into my father’s favorite chair, feeling as though I was back in his lap again. I hugged myself tight, almost swearing I could feel him there.

“Dad… I wish so badly you were here…” The thick, worn fabric under my fingers was the same from when I was a little girl. Most likely the very last place he ever sat.

I smiled wide remembering all the times we sat there together. And for once, it didn’t hurt to think about it.

“This feels like one of those moments when you’d sit with me for hours and explain everything in detail…” I said out loud, like maybe he could still hear me.

So many of Dad’s lectures happened right there.

“I know I acted like I wasn’t listening… I’m sorry… I was so angry… but I did hear you, Dad… I heard it all… and I forgive you for what you did…” I whispered, my hand brushing the worn arms of the chair.

I never said goodbye to him…

“I’m so sorry I didn’t kiss you that night when you asked… sorry I didn’t take your hug… I wish I could have forgiven you that night… I'm even sorrier I didn’t come back… I’m so, so sorry… if I could just go back in time…” I breathed out my usual little prayer.

I had plenty of regrets, but the biggest was never being able to say goodbye. Not in any way. The closest thing to a farewell… to grieving… was these days right here… in this house… my mother’s garden… my father’s chair… I don’t even know where their bodies are… but somehow, it hurts less. Even though the tears pouring out of me right now burned like nothing else.

I sighed, deciding to clean up my tears too and grab some of my parents’ clothes. It mattered. Some of their things… Yesterday I found a box in their closet… all the photos of them that Clint must have collected… and the best part was that all the clothes there seemed to still smell like them… I clung to them for minutes, unable to decide what to do… but the thought of throwing anything away ripped me apart. I wanted them close.

I wanted to grab the miniatures from my room’s cabinet too, another painful reminder, but one that held a happy story.

I wandered around gathering more boxes from the office. So many boxes of documents sat there waiting, but I wasn’t in a hurry. I’d take some things back with me to my apartment, but the rest… the rest would stay here.

Maybe I should come more often…

No… scratch that… I should move here.

I left my parents’ room, oddly satisfied with that plan.

But the second I walked into my room, the curtains flapping wildly caught my eye, and I sprinted to the window, slamming it shut as if I’d just dodged a heart attack.

One rainstorm and my carpet would be moldy hell. I could almost hear my mother's voice.

My hands were still trembling on the latch when I saw… Nothing could have prepared me for the reflection in the glass. My hands flew to my mouth.

Yelena. Lying in bed, curled up the exact same way she always used to. A little ball of comfort.

I stood frozen for what felt like forever, waiting for the image to dissolve. Maybe my mind was just projecting. Maybe I was conjuring her.

I turned, caught between desperately wanting the image gone… and needing it to be real.

I breathed, my shaky hands falling from my lips only when I was sure I wouldn’t scream. I pressed my fingers to my neck, feeling every nerve in my body buzzing. This is real. I’m breaking apart… and she’s really here.

Wearing nothing but a robe. Probably naked underneath… in the middle of my bed… the same way she always was.

Why the hell is she here? Did she come to see me? Why? Why the robe? Why naked… in my bed?

I sank to the floor, trying to breathe, clawing at my hair, fighting the urge to scream. Whatever… I have no damn clue how to handle it. Not that I’ve ever been organized in my life… 

She’s here. Really here. But…

I know one thing for sure, she shouldn’t be here. Not after everything. Even if she wants to be… it’s wrong. But if she is… shit…

Did she come to talk? To fight?

We’ve done that a thousand times.

No… she doesn’t look angry. She’s just… sleeping. Like the angel she can be.

Okay. SHE CAME TO SLEEP. Yeah. That works. If I just keep thinking that, I won’t lose my mind. Perfect. She only came to sleep.

WHY THE SHOWER? WHY NAKED? WHY MY BED?

I bolted out of the room in a panic. I needed order, more than ever. I ran back to my parents’ room, pulling a pair of jeans and a T-shirt from their box, relieved nothing smelled like mold. They felt freshly washed.

Racing downstairs, I froze at the sight of dirt all over the kitchen floor.

Who the hell trashed the floor I practically licked clean yesterday?

I glanced out the window, Yelena’s truck. Gardening supplies. A big machine, streaked with paint. The garage wide open. It all clicked.

So she’s the one keeping the house in shape?

I groaned, smacking my thighs, completely lost on what to think.

Come on, Kate, think… What the hell does this mean?

Okay… she loved my parents. I know she and my mom would spend hours with the flowers… and I know Dad paid her well for taking care of the fences… and anything else she thought she could fix. He encouraged every crazy project Yelena could dream up.

So… the house looks perfect because of her?

I stormed to the front windows, staring at the damn fence that had once been half-painted, now flawless. Shit. Screw my life.

Yelena kept up my parents’ house… the house I abandoned all this time?

I collapsed on the couch, struggling to breathe. 

I needed to talk to her. But how?

WHAT KIND OF MESSED-UP LIFE IS THIS? NOT EVEN A WEEK OF PEACE? SERIOUSLY?

Okay, Kate… you’ve got to go to her. She’ll blow up for a minute, or fifty, but she has to understand.

I didn’t do anything wrong this time.

I marched upstairs, counting my ragged breaths. The room was just as I’d left it… and so was the warm little bundle in the middle of my bed.

God, that woman never fails to be beautiful.

I crept closer, shoving my hands deep in my pockets so I wouldn’t make the stupid mistake of touching her.

“Yelena…” I whispered, stepping back. She didn’t move. “Yelena… wake up…” I tried again, clearing my throat just to get her name out. “ Milaya… ”

No reaction.

God… I don’t even know what I’ll do when she wakes up.

I leaned in, still whispering her name, brushing her shoulder.

Nothing.

She mumbled softly in her sleep. “Get back in bed” and I wanted to die from how quickly I obeyed.

“ Milaya… you need to wake up…” I said quietly, sitting down beside her.

Her sleepy hand reached across the bed, tugging at me weakly, with a little groan of “Come…” And like every sinner before me… who sits, lays down.

This is going to end in chaos, she’s gonna kill me, but screw it. I’m already in hell, and you know how I feel about embracing my demons, right?

I lay down beside her, more terrified than I’ve been in twenty-eight years. The last time I slept next to her was in this exact bed.

The second she felt me close, I knew I was screwed. I held my breath as she just… melted into my chest… and… Oh God. I’m dead. She’ll kill me. Her lips parted just slightly against my skin, like a soft kiss, just like before.

SHE’S SLEEPING.

This won’t end well.

BUT ALSO… SCREW IT. Maybe this is the only way I’d ever choose to die…

*

“YOU AND HER ARE BOTH SLUTS!!!”

We’d had this kind of fight a thousand times.

Any girl who even looked my way became an enemy, tackled like a linebacker on a surprise play.

“ Lyubov’… just listen… this isn’t necessary…” I muttered, scrambling for my clothes she’d tossed out her window.

“Not necessary? YOU THINK I’M STUPID, YELENA? IT’S THE SAME GIRL FROM LAST TIME…” she snarled, hurling the miniatures we’d bought on our last beach trip.

“Hey… there’s no reason to destroy our miniatures… they cost me a month’s paycheck… and maybe you could stop screaming? We can fight without yelling… that way it stays just between us…” I whined, exhausted, as nosy neighbors peeked over from a few dozen meters away.

God, I really need to finish Eleanor’s hedge fence soon… we need some damn privacy. No one else should see me climbing my girlfriend’s window, or hear our fights.

She appeared at the window, glaring at the onlooker. “HEY, MARK, DON’T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO, YOU DUMBASS? STOP SPYING ON ME AND MY IDIOT GIRLFRIEND!” I almost smiled at her defense. At least I was still “girlfriend.” Idiot girlfriend, but girlfriend.

“FINE, I’LL CALL YOUR MOM THEN!” he yelled back.

“FINE WITH US, JACKASS!” we shouted in unison before bursting into laughter.

She turned to me again, smiling so sweetly I almost thought the fight was over. But of course, I was wrong. She snarled again, throwing more miniatures and even two of my vinyls I’d brought just the other day. My stomach dropped.

Oh no. Not Marvin Gaye. He didn’t deserve this kind of abuse. And neither did I.

“As I was saying… shove all your crap up your ass, and that bitch’s too.” she sang out, flipping me the finger before vanishing back inside.

I know I shouldn’t have given a ride to a girl I’ve already slept with countless times. My beloved girlfriend is making a solid point about it, but it’s all the more complicated by the fact that she’s got this razor-sharp instinct when it comes to this kind of shit. I love how smart and methodical she is at sniffing out betrayal…

Maybe it’s not all that romantic though… and she’s no saint either… she just recognizes the pattern because she fucks up following the same damn pattern herself.

The main thing here is, she doesn’t even know I got kissed, or that I gave out a little “thank you” orgasm for the ride I offered the girl who used to be my girl and whom she absolutely fucking hates… she doesn’t know, and she doesn’t need to know… but here we are. My love needs peace, and I’m gonna give it to her… This fight right here is perfectly avoidable.

At least, that’s what I thought… I really was about to slip into sweet-talking mode… I was gonna apologize for pissing her off… I was ready to declare my love for her all over again… I was gonna tell her I’d been thinking about what she said about college… about accepting help from her parents… I was gonna… swear to God I was… but then, my fancy, expensive drill that I’d brought over to mount a shelf I built for her damn movie collection, crashed into pieces right at my feet. 

So, nope… fuck peace.

I clenched my teeth and summoned every ounce of power in my voice.

“KATHERINE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT!” I roared loud enough for the whole city to hear. And as if that wasn’t dramatic enough, Derek pulled his car up right in front of the house.

“What the hell is all this yelling about? Mark called me on the way… everybody’s hearing this shit a mile away, Yelena!” he said, stepping up next to me, concerned.

“I told you not to scream, Milaya… ” Kate laughed, right before tossing my grinder, newer than the drill, straight to the floor at Derek’s feet. He barely dodged it.

I pointed at the grinder, then at the window. “You saw that, right?”

Derek tried to pick up the pieces of my baby, and I just screamed.

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU, KATHERINE… THAT COST ME A FUCKING FORTUNE, BITCH!” I bolted down the steps toward the door, but Derek caught me around the waist.

“Hey, don’t even think about it… breathe, for fuck’s sake… what the hell happened?” he said, hauling me over his shoulder.

“WHAT HAPPENED IS I’M GONNA KILL YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER!” I shouted, thrashing against his grip.

“Just stop yelling… let’s go inside and talk like adults…” he said, carrying me toward the door.

“I would if that stubborn pain in the ass hadn’t locked everything up… she’s out of her damn mind… I’m gonna beat the shit out of her… fucking bitch.” I snarled, trying to break free again. Derek dropped me onto the couch, snarling right back.

“Now… hey… Eleanor would be heartbroken at this kind of shit right here… what kind of disrespect is this? And no… you’re not beating the shit out of anyone… KATHERINE! DOWN HERE. NOW.” He bellowed up the stairs, pointing at me just as I thought of rushing at Kate.

“And you stay put… I’m warning you… I’ve got more than enough reason to drag you over my knee, Yelena… don’t even test me.” His voice was sharp, unforgiving.

I huffed, glaring, just waiting for the bitch to come down.

“Dad… I’m not talking to Yelena… ever again…” she spat as she came down the stairs, and I turned, giving her my coldest look.

“Yeah, well, I don’t wanna talk to you either, bitch!” I shot back, flipping her off when she flipped me first.

“Fine by me, slut!” she smirked.

“Kate… tone it down… both of you… enough of this disrespect… let’s talk… Yelena wants to explain, don’t you, Yelena?” Derek tried to play mediator, but I scoffed. I’m not explaining shit anymore.

“I don’t think I need to explain anything to someone as irrational as her.” I sneered, sinking into the couch, eyes locked on Kate.

“See?… she’s fine with it… She doesn’t wanna explain, Dad… and you know what? I don’t even wanna hear it anymore… Ask her what she did… again… ask her?!” Kate growled, throwing herself onto the couch across from me.

“Yelena… start.” Derek said patiently, sitting in his favorite chair right between us.

“I just gave a girl a ride… Kate’s just being her usual crazy self.” I lied fast, and she scoffed.

“See, Kate? She didn’t do anything wrong. And Yelena… don’t you dare talk about your girlfriend like that… You should talk this through… understand why she’s upset… since you didn’t do anything-” Derek was actually trying to defend me.

“Dad, SHE’S LYING… you really can’t see through her bullshit after all these years? She’s gotten good at this, calling me crazy every time I catch her crap, and you’re buying it!” she snapped, pointing at me.

I didn’t wanna defend myself. I’d played this perfectly, calculated, hidden. How the hell does she know?

“Yelena… are you lying?” Derek turned fully toward me, and I huffed. I couldn’t tell the truth now. If I explained exactly what happened, she’d explode, I’d explode, and it would take forever to make up. The plan was to keep lying… she had no way of knowing and no proof…

All my composure vanished when the front door swung open hard, and I froze.

Now the whole game changes.

We’re both fucked…

“What the hell is this? I get a call from the weird neighbor about your chaos?” Eleanor’s voice cut slow and sharp as she pulled off her coat, gloves, purse. The way she peeled those gloves off while staring at the broken grinder and then at me… it was exactly like her goddamn daughter. She knew. She knew it was me. And my lie wouldn’t hold.

“Yelena cheated on me… again…” Kate whispered, this time her tear-stained voice stabbing me deeper than anything.

I sank into the couch, watching Eleanor circle the room before sitting down beside Kate.

If Derek’s always my lawyer… Eleanor is the ruthless prosecutor, digging for truth, no matter who’s guilty.

She’s been around for more of our fights than I care to admit. When Kate cheated last year, she backed me up… but this wasn’t even close to the same thing…

“Alright… let’s talk, like we always do in this family… we’ll deal with the disgrace of all this yelling to the neighbors later… but right now I want the full story. Kate… start.”

“Yelena gave that girl… Macy… another ride. The same one she spent the whole summer with a couple years back… She came here reeking of her… lips dead and that damn mark on her neck…” I immediately touched my neck, exposed and betrayed by such a stupid mistake. I met Kate’s gaze, aching to wipe away her tears.

Eleanor’s eyes scanned my neck clinically, and she sighed. “Obviously you’ve got a hickey there… you know I hate those stupid territorial displays…”

I thought she’d keep coming at me, but she turned back to Kate. “Go on.”

“Yes… I’m pissed, I yelled, cursed, broke her important shit because on top of the obvious… she went right into her same old lies when I asked… which is nothing new… but now she just calls me crazy instead of owning her mistakes like before…” Kate sniffled, wiping her eyes.

I could barely breathe, sitting frozen as her wounded words gutted me.

Eleanor nodded through the story before finally locking eyes with me. If she’d yelled… if she’d thrown tools at me… if she’d said anything… I wouldn’t have cried. But I broke at her disappointed stare, from the woman who’d raised me like her own far too long for me to keep lying.

So I cracked. “I’m sorry… I lied… she kissed me and… no… I offered her a ride and told her the payment was… kiss me and let me touch her under her skirt.”

Kate bolted for the stairs again, and my jaw clenched so hard it hurt to hear her crying like that.

I watched her defeated steps vanish down the hall, then turned to the adults. Derek had his chin resting in his hand, thoughtful, while Eleanor… Eleanor was burning me alive with the fiercest eyes in the world. I shrank back in shame again.

She settled gracefully on the couch, crossing her legs in that elegant way she always does, gazing up at the ceiling I’d painted a few months ago.

“You know, Yelena… I see you as my daughter… I care for you like one… you, Natasha, Sonya, Maria… you’re my girls. I swear I love you all as much as I love Kate… but… I feel like… this just isn’t working… this isn’t working… you understand what I mean?” She pointed at her eyes, then at mine.

I didn’t wait. I jumped across the table into her lap. She couldn’t give up on me. I couldn’t let her…

“I’m sorry, Ellie… I… please don’t say you don’t see me as your daughter anymore… please… I’m sorry… I messed up… I always mess up but… I was just mad…” I cried, breaking apart, and she hugged me, laughing suddenly. I pulled back, shocked.

“Don’t be stupid, Czarina… this isn’t about that… just stop… a mother doesn’t bargain her kids away… one day you’ll get that. I’m talking about… damn, did you see what you did to my other girl?” She groaned, pointing toward the stairs. “I’m talking about how I’m about two seconds away from banning this relationship.” Her voice was sharp, impatient as hell.

“No, Ellie… please… not that… I love Kate… I love her… she’s everything… I promise I’ll change… I’ll get better… I’ll fix this… I even decided I’d talk to you guys about college… and I’ll do it, for me and for her… because I don’t want this war anymore… I want peace with her… I want to be good to her…”

I cried, clinging to Eleanor, knowing if she made that call, neither me nor Kate could disobey. I knew it. Derek had tried a few months back and we broke that rule in a week… but if Eleanor said it… it was final.

“And how am I supposed to believe you, Yelena? I don’t want either of you suffering… but this…” She pointed at the stairs again. “This isn’t healthy… not for you, not for her, not for anyone around you… nobody can take this crap anymore… was it really worth it, being with some random girl? Is this what you want for your life with Kate? Because you know… she might forgive you today… but she’s gonna get back at you for this shit. That peace you’re talking about? It won’t exist until she does. I know my girl… you know her… she will. So tell me, was it worth it?” She wiped my tears as I shook my head hard.

“No… not worth it… I want Kate… I love her… and I’ll fix it… I just need to talk to her… tell her that… I’ll be good when she’s good with me, I swear… can I go to her?” I begged, and she sighed, shrugging.

“You get three tries… and if she doesn’t open the door… no unscrewing the fucking door again… if she doesn’t open, it’s over. I won’t allow this relationship anymore… even if you’re almost of age… you know I won’t be disobeyed…”

She said it sadly, holding my hands, and I nodded, already recalculating my plan to unscrew Kate’s door like I’ve done three times before when she refused to open.

“If she doesn’t forgive me this time… we’ll do it your way… I promise I’ll respect it… no breaking the door down, I’ve got this… I just need to try harder…” I said, kissing her hands before lowering my head for Derek to kiss my forehead, then headed toward the stairs, hearing both of them sigh, exhausted.

I was hit by a fear I’d never felt before… I didn’t want to lose Kate… we’re perfect together despite all the shit. I’m gonna marry her one day… so no… she can’t not open that damn door… but for the first time, I was scared she wouldn’t… and it wasn’t really about the door…

Every other time, I could hear her laughing at me working on the hinges, while I laughed too at our madness… I’d do it because I knew I’d find my crazy, smiling girl waiting on the other side.

This time, I was terrified of what I’d find…

The cracked-open door made me tremble… but I hurried my steps and stopped right there, keeping my end of the deal. I’d let Eleanor hear my request and Kate’s refusal, or not.

“Lyubov’, can we seriously talk about what I did?” I asked out loud.

No answer. First chance… gone.

“Kate… I know I fucked up… I’m totally in the wrong here… I just want to talk and fix this… I swear I’m sorry… I swear, Kate… please let me in?” I begged, clinging to the doorframe. I heard her blowing her nose inside the room, but no answer came.

Second chance… silence.

“Kate… I love you… I truly love you… more than my tools… more than I love cars… sometimes it feels like I love you more than I love myself… and yeah, I screw up a lot… and so do you… and we’re both wrong because this is eating us alive and we keep fueling it… but we both know what our endgame is, right?” I whispered, smiling. “Can you knock twice on the table so I know you didn’t just die of boredom?”

I held my breath and then, two knocks on the wood made me suck in a huge breath of air.

“Listen, Dorogaya… we’re just young and pissed as fuck right now… and we always make decisions in the craziest ways… but you know we always decide things with the future in mind, with our future in mind… you know that… I know you do… and I… I’m so hurt by what you did too, and that’s why I did this today… I just wanted… you’ve been so angry at me… I just wanted to see if I’d feel different… wanted… by someone else… fuck, Kate… I just…” I gasped, swallowing my words as the sobs clawed out of my chest.

She’s not gonna answer.

I waited a whole five minutes while we both cried, but still, she stayed quiet.

“Yelena… come downstairs…” It was Eleanor’s voice, and I knew I had to obey. I started stepping back from the door, knowing everything would change now… I turned and walked to the stairs, my whole body trembling.

I leaned on the railing at the top, seeing the sad eyes of the two adults who only wanted what was best for us.

That’s it… it’s over.

Before I could take the first step down, the door swung open and I heard her hard steps before I felt her hand yank into the waistband of my jeans, pulling me back.

“You’re not calling the shots here, Mom. I’m gonna deal with my dumbass girlfriend myself… I love her, and I want to talk. Nobody gets to decide how we handle our shit.” She snarled down the stairs, dragging me all the way back to the bedroom. She shoved me onto the bed and slammed the door shut, almost making me smile.

“Don’t you dare smile, idiot. You were just gonna go downstairs? Seriously? What kind of dumbass deal was that with my mom?” she snapped, pointing at the door while I sat up on the bed, kicking off my boots.

“Well… I’m smiling out of relief, and I was gonna accept whatever she decided because…” I dropped my feet to the floor, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees. “Because she’s right, Kate… I messed up today with you… you messed up with me before… and we’ve been stuck in this tit-for-tat shit for like three years now… this isn’t… this isn’t right, babe…” I whimpered, feeling my eyes burn with tears all over again.

She was pacing the room until I finally heard her break down too.

“I know, Yelena… I know… but I… fuck… it’s been so hard to coexist with you… shit… this isn’t… I love you… I don’t wanna lose you…” she said, broken.

“I love you too, baby… I know I do… you know I do… everyone in this damn place knows I do… and I know we’ve been fighting a lot… I just don’t know how to deal with it…” I said, not daring to look at her.

“So… all of this is just a mess… and I think… if we both feel that way… if it’s not working anymore… if it’s not even enjoyable… I think… we should really break up… Mom’s right…” she whispered, and I jumped to my feet to rush to her.

“No… please… don’t say that… we can fix it all… please… don’t…” I whispered, kissing her sad, flushed face all over.

“Yelena… you told me you kissed that girl just to feel wanted… that means what I give you isn’t enough, and you’re always gonna go looking for it somewhere else whenever you feel that way…” she said, holding me.

“OR YOU COULD JUST START GIVING ME THAT, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” I growled, breaking free to pace angrily across the room.

“NO YELLING!” Eleanor shouted from somewhere in the house, and I gave a bitter smile.

“Kate… if you know you’re hurting me, you could actually stop being so damn mean… stop saying all those cruel things… you could make it better… but you don’t… while I’m here apologizing for cheating on you… begging… you never even talked to me about yours… you just showed up a few days later naked in my bed and made me forget my fucking name… but you don’t see your mistakes either… you said I don’t own up to mine anymore, but you stopped doing it too…”

I cried with my own frustration, remembering how I hadn’t lasted even a week… She’d hooked up with some idiot behind the bleachers, and people told me… and that was it… not even a conversation… no apology… nothing.

“I’m sorry, Yelena… I was wrong too… I should’ve told you that back then… I felt like you denying me sex meant you didn’t want me anymore, so I just went after someone who did… I just thought we didn’t need to talk about it…” she said, walking toward me as I sat on her windowsill.

“Of course I need it too, Kate… I get hurt too… I’ve been hurting for years… but I never stopped caring… everyone’s known who I belong to since I was a kid…” I whispered, feeling her warm hands wiping my tears away.

“So… what do you wanna do then?” she asked softly, pulling my eyes to hers.

“I just want… one day… one day where we don’t have to apologize for anything anymore…” I whispered, and she nodded.

“One day… we’ll be everything you dream of, Yelena… I promise…” she said before kissing me the way she always does. With love… with all the love I know she has for me.

*

I stayed wrapped around her for a whole hour, waiting for her to wake from her peaceful sleep, when I heard her mumble.

“One day… no… need… sorry…” And my whole body froze, remembering another time she said those same words. I held her tighter, whispering my own reply again.

“One day… we’ll be everything you dream of, Yelena… I promise…” I promised in her ear before feeling her whole soft body go cold and tense. She was awake.

I counted every second until she pushed away from me like I was covered in shit. Eight seconds… that’s all it took for all the peace to vanish.

 

 

 

 

*