Chapter Text
Dear Diary,
It is an interesting thing, being alone. Some may find solace in it while others find only misery. I find myself in the in between.
It is one thing to be alone, and another to be lonely and it is that I suffer from the most, not like I would rather speak about it either way. It is so easy hiding behind many a thing. From my beautiful dresses and the gossip I oh so love. But all of it is so fleeting, none of them give true substance. Yet it is all I can do, that and find myself a husband which I have yet to be successful in, something I am reminded about daily.
I hate the cruelty of my tongue sometimes, a yet it is my only weapon. My only strength and power in a world such as this. Hide behind the cruel smile and snide remarks, flirt and acquire a husband, find a reason to live for anything past that all while attempting to secure a semblance of identity within myself.
Marriage, I must have it. For the safety of my life. Yet I think of what it may be like to love or to be loved, only to remember those are folly’s, and I must do my duty as I am reminded again and again.
Now, as the summer descends upon us and I am to leave for the country, I am yet again presented by another lonely suffer. Surrounded by those who may take up my time, but never truly have any semblance of anything worthwhile with.
Oh what a life to live.
I hear the Bridgerton’s yet again will be present during these summer months in the country, now with the addition of Lord Bridgerton’s new wife. Interesting as it was, it is yet again a reminder of just how lonely it all is. How I am.
Oh well, I have a show to put on do I not? It never ends.
It never ends.