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How Will We Be Okay Again?

Summary:

No specific season or episode--'au' with some canon. We begin with Andy losing her baby; and as she is unsure of
of whether ROBERT fathered the child or JEREMY BENATI (instead of an SA, there was a one-night stand)--one of the
issues (apart from the uncertainty about paternity ) is her guilt about her part in the loss of the fetus
(she reverted back to her 'old ways' of black-out drunks, which can cause spontaneous miscarriages)

CHAPTER 1 WILL BE UPLOADED TOMORROW (6/30)

Chapter 1: Prolouge (Opening)

Summary:

Suddenly, I'm hit--It's the starkness of the dawn--And your friends are gone
And your friends won't come--So show me where you fit--So show me where you fit

[RETROGRADE/J. BLAKE]

Chapter Text

SIX WEEKS BEFORE THE NIGHT OF MARINA'S WEDDING RECEPTION:

Round 1--Andy rode Robert like an award-winning equestrian, though she had to work hard to keep her kegel muscles clamped as
tightly as she could, their perspiration-slick skin made it all the more difficult to remain atop her perch; she found a somewhat work-
able solution: she used her knees to clamp tightly around Robert's thighs (not that easy because of his extreme musculature though made
much more easily by his big hands cradling her full. bouncy bottom...

One of the attributes that attracts (and KEEPS ANDY ATTRACTED to him) is his raw strength; levering the two of them up and over; with-
missing a beat, Sullivan strokes into her wet and inviting pussy like her gash is a sharpening stone for his sword; his fat cock-head pierces
her clutching interior--both gasp when her Kegels grasp and massage him like magic fingers and he FINALLY SPURTS...ever the considerate
lover he strokes her through the final ebbs of HER orgasm...

END FLASHBACK

\\\\\\\\\\\

PRESENT DAY

How will she tell him? He's sure to blame HER for the outcome, even though she wasn't even aware that she'd even been expecting;
his opinion of her recently had to be in the low teens or even SINGLE DIGITS, and she had to admit that he had every reason to, based
her despicable behavior, beginning when she and her former lover JACK GIBSON 'drank about it instead of talkin' about it' (Dean's boat-
house 'to-do')...DRANK HEAVILY and BLACKED OUT; she followed that up with his overhearing her 'bitching' to Gibson (who else?!) that
that 'sometimes we confuse love for lust' respect for protocol' in the alley behind 'KAMINSKI'S' (LOTS OF TEQUILA AS WELL), the Hughes family's
pierogi restaurant during Maya and Carina's wedding reception...the topper is when she fell into Jeremy Benati's bed after MORE heavy alcohol
consumption: any of those incidents might have led to the loss of her fetus or the two fire scenes she went into (one of which she took some
was treated for minor smoke inhalation)...Possibly the worst part of ANY OF THIS CONVULTED MESS is the paternity issue..."

"When did you plan to tell me?!" The growled demand came from not Sullivan but her one night fling..."What are you talking about?" she
demanded in return, irritated.

"ENOUGH with the fucking games, Herrera! I KNOW, OK?!" She turned on her heel and stomped away, furious. He followed her down to her
office, complaining bitterly the entire way. "He wasn't YOURS, idiot!!" she told him nastily.

"Bullshit!" he countered. "I did the math-"

"Then you need a refresher in primary school arithmetic!" Herrera returned, equally as loud. "I didn't even CUM, and if you remember
I made you 'double bag' (quotation fingers) the baby I lost was his and mine--you're delusional Lieutenant but don't drag me into your
nightmare: now get out, you piece of manure!!"

"Says the MARRIED BITCH who was all over my dick that night, Maddox didn't mention that you have such enormous BALLS!!"

"Get OUT, Motherfucker !!"

/////////

FLASHBACK 2

The new transfer, Maddox's pal from outside of Seattle hasn't taken his eyes off of the Latina beauty on her own, doing Tequila shots;
"Who's that, Bro?", he asks nodding in her direction. "Hurr-era," the asshole says, rolling his eyes. "Legend in her own mind."

"She's fine as hell though!"

"I guess," Maddox shrugs. His friend downs his own shot, then announces "I'm goin' over."

"I'm out." Maddox fist-bumps him, then stands to go. "By the way: "She's separated, and kinda loose from what I hear."

Approaching Chaz the barkeep, he asks what his 'target's' drinking; Chaz, aware of Herrera's 'situation' answers shortly "Those
"Heeey," she responds flirtatiously, turning to face him. "Are those for ME?"

"For US," he corrects with a flirty grin of his own. "Jeremy."

"Andrea."

Suddenly, I'm hit--It's the starkness of the dawn--And your friends are gone
And your friends won't come--So show me where you fit--So show me where you fit

END FLASHBACK 2

///

Andy is still seething when Bishop pokes her head into her office door. "What was all that screaming and cursing about, 'H'?
and why was BENATI here?"

Andy eyes her levelly. "What are you accusing me of?"

"Look--I'm the LAST ONE to judge after my 'Gibson fiasco'; but if Sullivan had been here...I'm just glad that he wasn't, for your
sake...are you gonna answer the question?"

Her friend sighs. "He came to read me the riot act about the b-baby I lost--ranting that I should have 'told him'; he had a right to
know...AS IF!!"