My heart, your duty

by PHoS_ARi

Summary:

A calloused throne. A collapsing alliance. This was the kingdom of Imperia.

Imperia was home to two factions: The soldiers under royalty, and the white knights. Shiho of the white nights knew of the world she wanted to create, yet to do so, she would have to forsake her past. Ichika of the royal soldiers swore to protect the princess Saki with her life, no matter the cost.

Yet, when all will conflict, will these two battle heroines understand the truth behind it all?

Notes:

• For FishPish.

Chapter 1

Notes:

Hello everyone and welcome to my newest project: The esteemed Ichishiho White day fic!! For all of Y’all who know me for my Mizumafu Kitty trained art steampunk fic, this project isn’t gonna be as lore-packed. It’s a thriller (cause I love writing thriller) that focusses on Ichika and Shiho directly than buffering between characters and relationships. This will be my first take on the enemies to lovers trope, and will switch between Ichika and Shiho’s povs, so if it isn’t as well written, I apologise on behalf of my inexperience. Please do read at your leisure and enjoy the story!!

The dim world draped against Shiho like a blanket, her steel sword plastered to its sheath while she sleuthed. Shiho always found the architecture distasteful when she had visited the royal abode, almost to the point of resentment.

 

Wind traced her every step, leaving Shiho frustrated as she endlessly navigated the expansively lavish labyrinth she brought herself into. From the daintily carved pillars to the stained glass portraits, it all seemed so wasteful when the city would sit in such dirty, pathetic housing.

 

No, there’s no time to fuss about the architecture, Shiho reminded herself. She had a mission to complete, one that if she failed would put her whole family into jeopardy.

 

Shiho’s heart welled in her chest like a flickering candle, her mind wandering towards the thousands of outcomes that could conspire. Not even Shizuku knew she was doing this. No, if she found out, it would ruin her.

 

Shiho snapped her eyes back onto her main goal, her body now manoeuvring through the shadows, her mind in a state of alertness. Guards would pass by at any moment – moments where her hesitation would lead her into faltering. She had not to falter. She had to keep moving, to keep thinking, to-

 

The sound of shallow footsteps wafted against her ears like that of a conch. Her breaths were thin as her head swerved, trying to find the mysterious location of the footsteps.

 

“You should be careful, princess,” Uttered an estranged tone, one that lusted with gentle vows, like the plucking strings of a harp. Yet, beneath the softness of the twanging melody sung by this person, there was grit – alarmingly anxious grit that caught Shiho off guard. The princess was here, but she wasn’t Shiho’s target. She was merely a thought to her plan, but it wouldn’t hurt to take a glimpse. Maybe if Shiho was careful, she could see the tyrant’s kin.

 

“-But I’m fine when you’re around,” Uttered the honeyed voice of the princess, who exuded with carefree excitement and naïve bliss. Just as I expected, Shiho deducted.

 

“Besides, you’re my friend!” The princess exclaimed. “And I trust you.”

 

A chuckle came from the person guarding the princess, who still seemed buried in doubt. Shiho clenched the hilt of their sword and squinted their eyes, hoping to catch a peek at the two of them. No risk, no reward.

 

Shiho began to take small paces towards the two of them, making sure to keep her weapon out of sight while moving. Stay calm, Shiho. Stay absolutely calm.

 

“You know, I always wondered why the white knights don’t like us,” Murmured the princess, almost in a daydreamy tone.

 

“Hm… I suppose it’s because we’re not like them.” Replied the person next to her, who seemed to be the princess’s sworn sword. It made the most sense in Shiho’s head, at least.

 

Yeah, cause all of you are prissy rich assholes, Shiho thought to herself. All of Imperia knew how much harm the royals had made to the commonfolk. From constructing lavish palaces to sacrificing residents, to even dividing people that thought differently… maybe if the royals realised all of this would they actually get recognition.

 

“No, I get that…” The princess pouted, her tone swaying into something melancholier. “…I just feel like, it’s my fault.”

 

“Why would it ever be like that? You’ve done everything for us. The white knights just see us as- as monsters.” The sworn sword choked out, almost recklessly so. It made Shiho’s blood boil that royalty had to have yes men everywhere that they went.

 

“Remember that day? When you told me that you wished for a day where-” The sworn sword began, but a sigh of dissonance exited the mouth of the princess.

 

“-Ichi, I’m not five. I just…” The princess swallowed, her tone gently breaking apart. Now, I can strike in, Shiho realised.

 

Without missing a beat, as the sworn sword focused on the princess, Shiho unsheathed her sword within the silent night, taking a look at the younger girl. The princess.

 

Princess Saki Tenma.

 

Shiho froze, seeing the younger girl that she once knew as royalty. The optimistic, star-loving younger girl that chose to stay within the gates of the royals. No wonder. Shiho’s shock turned to madness as she stepped into frame, keeping her steps silent, but even then… she wanted to make herself clear. She wanted people to know that she was the one that murdered the princess.

 

“I miss them too, princess.” Whispered the voice of the sworn sword. It was someone who Shiho didn’t know, yet oddly enough, she knew that she was talking about her.

 

Pathetic, Shiho reminded themselves. First, she realised Saki was princess, and now Saki’s sworn sword was talking about her?

 

Bubbles of fury arose inside the veins of Shiho, her breathing now noticeable as she arched up her sword. The indigo moonlight shimmered across the steel, the soft petals that had once belonged to the past now charred against every living whisper that dignified every action. You will forget her, Shiho reminded herself. She doesn’t deserve to live.

 

And with a solemn step and a furious swing, the princess was seconds from death.

 

“Shii… chan?” Whispered the princess, her last breaths filled with bewilderment as her life dwindled. Her blood spewed everywhere, pooling and rippling, tarnishing the carpet.

 

Shiho stepped back, watching the blood pool from the royal, yet she couldn’t bring herself to finish the job. She knew that there was a chance she could still live and that their efforts would then prove fruitless, but as Shiho’s blade sunk to her side, she just couldn’t.

 

“No!” Screeched the sworn sword, falling on one knee with a wave of grief. She unsheathed her sword and looked around, but Shiho had already turned her back from the princess.

 

“You- you are a monster!” Screamed the sworn sword, who rushed at Shiho with reckless abandon.

 

“Get Saki to safety, If you care so much.” Shiho muttered, meeting the guard’s furious swings with her own blade. Shiho’s job was done, in her eyes. She had sent the message she needed, after all.

 

“You…” Seethed the sworn sword, stumbling forward, attempting to grip them by the collar. Shiho remained unmoving, watching the madness unfold from the sworn sword, who desperately wanted vengeance.

 

“I said, go. Unless you want me dead more than you care for her.” Shiho elaborated further to get the point across, attempting to knock some sense into the grief-harboured zombie.

 

“Shiho…” Spat the sworn sword, wiping the blood off of her cheek. She turned back to Saki, her sword barely supporting her body weight.

 

“Do I know you?” Shiho replied, fully expecting her not to answer. It was silly that she was even indulging in such wasteful chatter.

 

“…” Snarled the sworn sword, who sheathed her weapon, scooping up Saki’s corpse with her bare hands. She didn’t care that blood now soaked her fingertips, only that Saki was still barely breathing.

 

“I will remember you, and hunt you down until you pay.” She growled, her words reverberating across the hallway.

 

“…” Shiho didn’t see much of any reason to respond. She got the memo, understood what was said, yet the person in front of them still wanted her to, for some odd reason.

 

Shiho sighed, turned away, and finally let the girl send Saki to some form of medical ward. Yet, she didn’t know why she wanted to let her go. Why she just let them pass, and didn’t cut the princess’s life short.

 

No, she shouldn’t be worrying about this. Not now, not ever. This was merely the past, painted in ash and blood. Shiho knew that she’d end up forgetting Saki, forgetting this moment, and forgetting any trace of the sworn sword. That was a good thing, after all. Then, she could simply return to the life she knew without feeling obligated to start a war.

 

Shiho sighed, steadied her heart, and finally left the palace, never to return there, either if Saki did die or not. And the sworn sword, would she forget her too?

 

Shiho sheathed her sword, and began marching her way back home before the dawn of a new day.

Notes:

FYI, next chapter is a time skip, and will be Ichika's pov. I dunno If im gonna make Saki die or not, but uh... thanks for reading!! Hoping to traumatize y'all next time :)

Chapter 2

Notes:

Im tired. Ive binged a ton of emotional edits. Good luck to all of yall for your pulls eventually.

Ichika’s heart swelled, her eyes lost within the morning glow that once transcended all her worries to whispers. She blinked, holding herself close, but as the clouds droned across her and her gaze began to falter, she fell numb to the ice that was the world.

 

“What are you thinking about, Ichi-chan?” Questioned Saki, who stood in front, taking in the view just as much as she was. The pitting lanternlights of the town began to flicker, but such subtle changes did not pull Ichika away from her worries.

 

“I’m sorry, Saki, I just…” Her tongue faltered to respond audibly, her mind warping against the oceans of worries that she drowned within. She upheld her solemn smile, but couldn’t help her despair from tearing her from the inside.

 

Saki sat down, resting on the cliffside, her eyes filled with curiosities. Her body was still always wrapped against the scars of that moment years ago, but to Ichika, it was nothing more than a reminder. A reminder to her that these worries were valid, that her thoughts would always need to dwell. She couldn’t be naïve like back then.

 

“…” Saki remained silent, letting the gentle winds pass by as her dress swayed with the gales. The fact she still remained had boggled Ichika – why didn’t Shiho simply get rid of Saki? Why did she leave Ichika alive, too?  

 

To Ichika, Shiho was a coin. On one side was the glee-filled young girl that Ichika once knew, the masterful swordswoman that cared so much for her friends. On the other side was the Shiho hardened with war, her eyes blotched in misery, blood pooling at her feet. The Shiho that had no remorse, the Shiho that had given up on herself.

 

It had been seven years since that night. Seven years where Saki was hospitalised, almost murdered, and confined to her room. Years where Ichika had wished for this moment – where Saki could finally stand up alive and kicking, feeling the grass beneath her feet, taking in the rising sun.

 

Why did Shiho choose to take that freedom from Saki? It never made sense to Ichika. Saki was a child, one that cared for Shiho. Saki wasn’t some tyrannic dictator that disrespected her people, and neither was her brother. Then why? Why did Shiho not aim for the king and queen? Why did Saki have to suffer?

 

“Ichika.” Uttered the solemn voice of Saki, who was locked in a concerned stare, her eyes pleading to Ichika like a poem.

 

“Y-yes, princess?” Ichika replied, her body turning alert. How long had she been zoning out for?

 

“You just… don’t look okay.” Saki openly stated, reaching her hand out towards Ichika.

 

“I’m fine, really,” She brushed aside, but still, her heart ached. All because of Shiho.

 

“You sure?” Saki pouted, questioning the legitimacy of her statement. Ichika let out a gentle laugh, affirming to Saki that she really was okay. It was simply just her own fears playing tricks on her, right?

 

Ichika hadn’t realised how much she missed the moments of peace with her friends, even if Honami hadn’t wished to see the two of them in quite a while. Honami had trained to be a medic, setting a differing path, which Ichika respected. But as Saki had spent her days at the hospital, loneliness creeped up against her like a tidal wave that would one day come back at her.

 

“I just missed times like this,” Ichika elaborated further. Goodness, to even think of how lonely Saki had felt all those years ago seemed daunting to her. To sit in a room, wondering how many hours left as the friend they both once knew had slipped away. It must’ve been horrifying.

 

Saki giggled at Ichika’s statement, finding her now laying directly on the ground, looking up at the clouds. “Don’t be so sad, Ichi-chan. Just… take a little time to relax! It helps me whenever I feel all gloomy,” Saki reassured, pulling on Ichika’s wrist to lay down with her. I guess a little moment looking at the sky wouldn’t hurt, Ichika understood.

 

“There we go,” Saki requitted, her smile beaming from ear to ear. “Don’t the clouds look nice?”

 

Ichika took a look up at the ever-expansive sky. The twinkling stars that bled through the sky, dancing against the clouds as the sunset filled her eyes looked picturesque. Like a whirlpool against the seas, the stars within the sky rummaged through the wind, whispering sweet dreams as the clouds blotched together. From the orange shades to the specs of blues, the colours wrapped against each other like incandescent melodies, blending to create what Ichika could only assume was the heavens.

 

A warm glow of the sun wafted over towards Ichika and Saki, the two of them simply awestruck that the world of theirs was so beautiful. Handcrafted to perfection, creating the most delicate of views that only the most talented of artists could replicate.

 

Ichika didn’t know how to respond to Saki. Not just the clouds filled her eyes, but the whole sky filled with wonders. Ichika wondered if there was a moment where she’d find the right words to say. It was all so extravagant, so dignified. Like Imperia was simply a moment in time that would soon come to pass compared to the vastness of the infinite universe ahead of her.

 

As the orange hues faded to violet, and the stars began to twinkle, did Ichika and Saki finally stand up and wrap the moment up.

 

“We should head back,” Recommended Ichika, who was sitting upwards, clutching her lantern diligently. Saki gave her a nod of agreement, her body now laced with shadows as she stood up and patted the grass off of her garments.

 

“Maybe we could request the alchemists to make a star-watcher,” Saki uttered dreamily, romanticising the sky. “I’ve heard from Tsukasa that one of the alchemists learnt how to reflect light from mirrors to create explosions before,” She continued, wondering about the possibilities before her.

 

“Explosions? Why would we need explosions?” Ichika asked, but Saki merely shrugged at her concern.

 

“Maybe for cooking,” Saki fiddled. “Or for laundry in the winter.” But the more Saki thought, the more she became more puzzled. In the end, she sighed and muttered, “Explosions wouldn’t help watch the stars.”

 

“But, If there’s any free time tomorrow, I’ll see if Tsukasa can let us into the alchemy lab, even if the explosions won’t work.” Saki bounced back optimistically, as if she remembered that she could simply do anything she wanted. Maybe that’s what happens when you spend seven years in a bed, sheltered from the outside world.

 

“Would you like me to add that to your schedule?” Ichika asked, fiddling out a notebook detailed with Saki’s everyday schedule. As the Sworn sword, It only made sense for her to have a detailed list of everything Saki would do each day.

 

“Sure!” Saki confirmed, humming to herself as she thought about tomorrow, as mundane and boring as every day had seemed. Saki’s optimism had always intrigued Ichika, and she hoped that maybe she’d have the same outlook on life.

 

Ichika scribbled down Saki’s request in her notebook before entering the castle halls and putting out her lantern. Ichika dropped Saki off to her chambers, bid the princess farewell, before finally making her way to her own quarters.

 

Ichika opened the door to her room, sliding inside, lighting two of the candles on her desk. She etched out a sigh before falling onto her mattress, turning herself right-side-up, and pulling away her armor and her skin-tight uniform. She slid into her nightgown, placed her book on her desk, and finally blew out her candles.

 

Good night, me.

Notes:

I'm just gonna say, I've cooked a wonderful plot here. Still debating on the ending for this fic tho.

Chapter 3

Notes:

Sorry for the incredibly late update, I've been tiering for Mafu4 and have gotten up to top 200 HELL YEAH!! But uh yeah it's eaten up my time... hopefully a good ol Shiho pov would be good enough for the wait

Shiho awoke in a flurry of emotions, her heart pounding out of her chest, her body laced in sweat. Did I oversleep? Why is it so bright? Shiho thought frantically, looking around for her sword.

 

Shiho peeled herself out of bed with the sounds of footsteps outside her door. What was going on? Did Shizuku have visitors?

 

Panicked and confused, Shiho grabbed her coat, tied her belt, and grabbed her sword with haste. What time was it? She wondered, but her intuition was led astray from the bright lights outside her windows.

 

A creak erupted from the hinges of Shiho’s door. It was Shizuku.

 

“Good morning, Shii-chan,” She remarked in a hushed tone before noticing Shiho on the floor.

 

“Morning, Sis. Do you mind if you give me a bit of privacy?” Shiho muttered, still groggy and confused. At least I didn’t sleep in, she thought.

 

“Alrighty then,” Shizuku clapped her hands together, stepping out of the room and into the doorframe. “Make sure to start packing, too.” Shizuku added, before shutting the door behind herself.

 

Packing? I haven’t been summoned anywhere yet, though. Shiho racked her brain, falling deeper into confusion. Had the Momoi family got news and didn’t tell her? Had there been an emergency operation that had been scheduled? Did the Yoisakis announce a new trading route that had been intercepted?

 

Shiho bubbled with anticipation, almost childishly so. She hadn’t gone on any expeditions in the last two years ever since the Kusunagi family had been notified of Shiho’s attempted assassination – which was kept under wraps unless war broke out, under the recommendation of the Otoris.

 

Shiho had never been the biggest fan of the Otoris, especially the pacifistic ways of cowardice that they showed whenever there was a bigger problem at stake. However, the financial management was respectable in Shiho’s eyes, so she never really minded any jobs that they shipped out.

 

Had her ban finally been lifted? Shiho pondered. While the Kusunagi family only found out five years after, two years seemed suitable for only an attempted assassination.

 

Shiho buried her body against her coat, flooding out of her room, albeit disoriented and groggily. She rubbed her eyes meekly, finding herself resting against her chair, with Shizuku at the helm of the kitchen.

 

“How are you feeling, Shiho?” Shizuku asked with a wide smile, presenting the knight with her breakfast – jam toast.

 

“A bit confused.” Shiho huffed, picking up the toast, moving it over to her mouth. “You said something about packing.”

 

“Ah, right!” Shizuku exclaimed, humming to herself some form of tune.

 

“Airi has informed me that you have been selected alongside the Otori and Yoisaki houses to represent us for the prince’s upcoming coronation.”

 

Shiho almost choked on her breakfast. What? She was going directly to the palace? As a representative of the white knights? No, that didn’t seem possible. There had to be some misprint.

 

“Did Airi say that it was finalised?” She pressed, her heartbeat pouncing like a wild animal, her eyes straining as they flittered around the place.

 

“I know it’s a lot to take in, Shiho-chan, but I didn’t expect you to be this surprised,” Shizuku questioned, mistaking Shiho’s anxiety as excitement.

 

“…” Shiho finished up her breakfast, unable to respond. She had to be prepared, to think everything out, and to pack, just as Shizuku had said. Shiho slid out of her chair, murmured a small thanks, and retreated into her room.

 

No, Shiho panicked, rummaging through her closets and drawers. She simply thought it was barrier patrol, but now that everything was placed in front of her, she didn’t know how to think.

 

Just pack the necessities. Rations, water, a whetstone, and undergarments. Shiho bartered with herself, sliding open her bag to shove as much as she could inside. No, undergarments won’t be necessary. I need first aid, Shiho realised, now fussing through her room like a wild animal for something that resembled bandages. After what felt like minutes attempting to find bandages, Shiho gave up, now picking up her purse to buy bandages and rations.

 

“There’s no need to rush,” Shizuku reminded worriedly, noticing Shiho slither out of her room.

 

“I’ll be fine, sis. Serious.” Shiho sighed. “I’m just going to buy some stuff from the market.” Shiho consoled, reaching for the door handle. Why was Shizuku stressing about her, anyways? The market, while slightly dangerous, still provided a safe space than the outer rim of the city. She was stressing about the market, right?

 

Shiho took in a breath of fresh air, stepping outside her house and off to the market. Soft gales met her face, ruffling her hair and wrapping her in a cold chill. The clouds swirled grey, dotted with thousands of stars as spring trickled against the corners of every inch nature provided. Spring – the season of new beginnings. How ironic.

 

Shiho trudged past the bogs and the wetlands, finding herself against concrete that shimmered against the sunlight. People flooded through stores and cafés, pillaging from the cold. Crowds of nomads and residents wound themselves attracted to the bigger market at the centre of the city, but that was not where Shiho would shop at.

 

The market that Shiho was heading to was lost against the corners of the outskirts, near the Yoisaki trade exchange, offering discounted prices for the knights – which included Shiho, as the lead commander of all knights within the territory.

 

Status never bothered Shiho, as long as everyone was seen as equal no matter who they were. Of course, there were small boons for people that exceeded the rest, but no one truly cared who you were, and allowed you to freely be you without exceeding wealth. Something the Tenma kingdom could never provide to its citizens.

 

Shiho shuddered at the thought of going over to the Tenma kingdom. Not just because of her distaste of the world, but because of the fears that stemmed from the past – of a time where she made the worst mistake of her life. Hesitation. Shiho vowed that one day she’d assassinate both that sworn sword and the princess, and make up for the past.

 

Shiho held her mind high as she finally made it to the outdoor trade association, her sword holstered in its sheath as the corridors rippled with dim shadows.

 

Shiho marched towards the building, meandering inside, seeing the two booths next to each other. One for trading, one for shop.

 

“…” A bittersweet melody hummed from a passerby who had come from the trade association. A woman with short white hair and glistening eyes. Eyebags wrapped under her irises, her hands calloused with bruises, her body as pale as ghosts.

 

The girl smiled briefly at Shiho, giving a bow of her head. Shiho blinked, watching the mysterious girl leave the Yoisaki trade association, filling Shiho with momentary confusion.

 

She brushed off the previous interaction, turning towards the shopping stall. “I’d like to buy five sets of rations.” She uttered, settling the coins for the price on the table. The person at the counter looked over at Shiho, recognising them, and counted the price.

 

“Glad to be of service, commander Hinomori.” They acknowledged, bundling the rations before placing them on the table. Shiho nodded and took it, but soon her mind wandered back to the bandages. Maybe they sold bandages here, she wondered. It wouldn’t hurt to ask.

 

“Do you sell bandages?” Shiho asked in an authoritative tone, hoping that her directness wasn’t too intimidating. The salesperson gave a stern look at the wares before letting out a grunt of confirmation, fetching the bandages from out back.

 

Shiho tapped her feet together, fitting her rations into a spare bag, anticipatingly awaiting to finally go home and pack everything. To enjoy the last few moments where she could rest freely inside her home. To live without fearing someone’s blade against her neck.

 

She regretted it. Going back to the Tenma kingdom. Every inch of her mind ached beneath that one moment. Maybe if she hadn’t hesitated she wouldn’t feel so afraid. But she was stronger now, leading the knights of white, and shouldn’t’ve worried about death. She didn’t even know if the princess was alive, nor if the sworn sword had even told them.

 

The clerk came back to the counter, handing the bandages. Shiho handed the price, but the shopkeeper shook their head, as if Shiho didn’t need to pay.

 

Shiho nodded her head and took the bandages, feeling the soft-yet-rough fabric brush upon her skin. Her body set into a mismanaged panic, her intestines squirming.

 

A hallucination.

 

Dark shadows welled beneath Shiho’s feet, her hallucinations projecting her blood draped towards the floor, soaking at her feet. And there, at her chest, was a sword ruthlessly jabbed into her body, trickling with blood.

 

Nausea washed over Shiho, her hands paralysed with blood that sopped against her skin. Her bandages were pressed towards her hands, trying to soak up the blood that flowed out of her as her nauseating fears swelled and pulsated. Fresh, desperate tears conglomerated with the blood that stained her face. No, her throat writhed. She tried to clean the stains with the bandages, but the more she did, the more her breaths slowed and wailed.

 

The bandages slowly clotted up, and dark swirls of shadows creased Shiho’s vision. “Shii-chan,” Whispered the deformed voice of Saki. “You murderer.” Saki giggled. No, no. Shiho begged, wondering when it all would end. Saki wasn’t like this. She wouldn’t… No. Shiho’s eyes widened as bile rose above her throat, spewing down from her lips, mixed in with her own blood. A bitter, iron-like taste coiled her throat, her saliva unable to wash away the dysentery that tore her body to shreds. This was her fault.

 

Shiho had made a monster out of Saki. All because she didn’t hide her tracks. All because she hesitated.

 

“You’ll die by my hand,” Spat the words of the sworn sword. There was no escape. Tears continued to fall like raindrops made of electrolytes, with the victim being Shiho to pull apart the pieces.

 

The cold and refracted azure eyes of the sworn sword snarled like predator hunting prey, seething and oozing with malice that could never be satisfied. An incarnation of hatred – that is what Shiho created, all because she was-

 

“Commander Hinomori?”

 

Shiho blinked, realising that her cheeks were bright red and puffy; not to mention her eyebags were lined with tears. How long did that hallucination last? Shiho wondered. She had to leave, and quick.

 

Shiho stormed out of the trade association, pulling herself off her feet as darkened clouds mystified her view. A storm. Shiho’s frantic breaths became more unsteady as she passed through the streets, launching herself in dewy puddles as the rain trickled gently.

 

As Shiho raced to go home, a strong gust of wind almost knocked her over, bringing her back to her senses. Shizuku would know something was wrong if she wasn’t careful, Shiho reminded herself cautiously, fixing up her expression and adjusting her breaths.

 

Shiho swiftly made it to her home in time for the pouring rain to pitter against her roof than her shoulders. She shut the door behind her in a flurry, her coat sopping wet.

 

“Shiho-chan, you’re back!” Shizuku exclaimed, her heartwarming smile easing her prerequisite panics. Shizuku had no idea.

 

“I… bought some rations.” Shiho began, organising her thoughts, remembering what she had done previously. “For the coronation.”

 

Shizuku nodded her head, but her eyebrows were knitted in concern. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

 

Shiho nodded. “Of course. I can handle myself.” She elaborated bluntly, but it didn’t seem to ease Shizuku’s worries.

 

“It’s just that, if you need anything,” Shizuku entailed, leaving with Shiho finishing the sentence. “-I’ll tell you.”

 

Shiho retreated into her room, lugging her bag on the floor, unbuckling her belt that contained her sheath. Now, nothing was holding her down, and she could relax as much as she wanted.

 

A deep sigh emitted from Shiho’s lips as she threw herself onto her bed, tracing the warm blanket, her eyelids heavy, but her mind did not rest.

 

After Shiho laid in wait for a moment of rest, she hesitantly pulled her body up and packed her rations and bandages into her travel bag, before escaping her room and resting in the living room where Shizuku presided.

 

“Hey, Sis, do you know when I’ll be leaving?” Shiho began, lounging on one of the chairs.

 

“Hm… the letter had said that it was tomorrow,” Shizuku recounted, “But Airi will officially pick you up from here.”

 

Shiho didn’t see anything irregular with the schedule, which settled her ever-buzzing mind.

 

“However,” Shizuku added, setting a pang of dread into Shiho. “Since the Otoris are joining you, I’d be a bit careful.”

 

Shiho nodded her head strictly, understanding the concerns of her sister. Shizuku always kept a close eye on the Otoris, but Shiho never knew why. Was it because of the Otori’s influence? Was it gatekeeping? Was there blackmail? Shiho never got a hint. But if Shizuku was weary, so would Shiho.

 

Yet, Shiho had not met the Yoisaki family yet. The leaders of music, the artists of trade, and the family hidden behind the most mystery. As Shiho’s eyelids grew heavy, her mind lounged at the thoughts of such a political family.

 

But Shiho had a goal – live. The Yoisakis knew this well, as did the Otoris. Tomorrow, she had to be careful.

 

And, maybe if she was careful enough, she’d live long enough to see Shizuku again after the expedition.

Notes:

Kanade casually planning to meet her girlfriend from the tenma kingdom

Chapter 4

Notes:

Sorry for a super late upload! It was supposed to be longer, but 1. I forgot to switch POVs so I basically began to write chapter 5 for like 3 days until I remembered and 2. This chapter is long (not as long as chapter 13 from LBoaS) but still pretty long. Now, I'm just gonna say, I used that vanishing text thingy (that writing app where if you stop typing your words vanish) and I got a majority of my writer's block out of me for a bit of the segment, so if my writing isn't as up-to-standard near the end, then it's just because I got real bored and confused writing that last segment and was on a literal time crunch.

Anyways if you did read up to here, just know, well...

“A coronation?” Ichika spluttered, her mouth agape as Saki recounted what she had heard from her brother. “Isn’t it too early for one?”

 

The blonde-haired princess shrugged as she strutted through the palace halls, taking everything with stride. “Tsukasa said that he’s invited some of the nobles from the kingdom of White!” Saki bounced.

 

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. No. This was just another nightmare.

 

“…You don’t look so good, Ichi-chan,” Saki commented hesitantly, her face wrapped with concern.

 

Shiho. Shiho Hinomori. The person that almost murdered Saki was possibly coming to Tenma territory.

 

Ichika tried not to stress, but her mind buzzed with overwhelm, almost like a torrential downpour that could only be satiated by waking up.

 

“I… I need a minute.” Ichika paced backwards, her hair ruffled as her face continued to emulate her disparity.

 

How could she even show her face? How was this even finalised? Ichika’s mind raced against the clock, twisting and turning into more confusion, and in turn, stress.

 

“When is this?” Ichika rambled frantically, her urgent tone surprising the princess.

 

“Ichika, seriously, there’s nothing to worry about.” Saki reassured, her smile temporarily stopping Ichika from spiralling even deeper.

 

“Tsukasa even said that he personally handpicked whose coming to the coronation. So, no Shiho.”

 

Oh. Ichika sighed, her fears slowly slipping away from the last thing Saki had said. Tsukasa was incredibly trustworthy. He’d never choose to endanger his sister’s life, after all.

 

Ichika adjusted her coat, making sure that her frills were in place as she rethought her opinions. She had never known what a coronation was like, and for the first one to be Tsukasa’s coronation was something she seemed excited for. But even so, her dread was still there. She still expected the emerald eyes of Shiho’s vanity to spur beneath her heel, tipping her to the ground, her blade arched at her back. The powerlessness, the fury, the anxiety-

 

No. Ichika pulled her mind away, avoiding her overthinking. There was no chance. She trusted Saki, and by extent, Tsukasa. Shiho was never able to reach Ichika.

 

“See? It’s gonna be so fun!” Saki cheered, raising her hands about, propping up a childish smile. Ichika let out a chuckle of relief, simply admiring the moment before her.

 

“So, I’ve planned to meet Hona-chan, and get something tailored tomorrow.” Saki continued, skipping across the hall, her blonde hair bouncing with each step the princess had taken.

 

“Honami? …She tailors?” Ichika questioned, pulling out her notebook to find any free space. “Mhm! When she finished with her medical degree-thingy, she wrote a letter to me about this new place that she works in. She said that she’s designed several different dresses.” She hummed.

 

Honami, a tailor… It didn’t sound odd to Ichika. She was known to be crafty, and would constantly have new ideas, even if it meant she’d have to let these ideas go to be accepted by her peers.

 

“Have you scheduled this yourself, Saki?” Ichika asked, keeping her mind afloat with thousands of options, Her quill twirling beneath her fingertips.

 

“Hona-chan did,” Saki admitted openly, her eyes gently gazing between the arched openings that projected the kingdom. “I’m really glad to meet her again,” She reminisced.

 

“Hm,” Ichika noted, taking in the morning air as she scribbled down notes against the parchment paper. “Hona-chan…” Did she forget me like Shiho?

 

“When was she available?” She asked to get her mind off things, relieved to see that Saki didn’t notice her temporary dread.

 

“Umm…” Saki took a minute, her hand cupping her chin, her brow briefly furrowed as she thought to herself. Her eyes jolted about as she attempted to recall the letter. “Oh, right! In… two hours!”

 

Ichika ran her eyes through the schedule, seeing a slight overlap in Saki’s war studies by fifteen minutes.

 

“…” Ichika frowned. “Are we not able to go?” Saki asked anticipatingly.

 

“We can, it just overlaps with war studies.” Ichika examined carefully, rereading the time on her pocket watch for reference. Saki choked out a groan, her eyes wilting like flowers within the winter.

 

“Surely Kiritani-senpai won’t get mad, right?” Saki wondered. Ichika, while also just as disappointed, racked her brain for a minute before finding an answer to give to Saki. “Let’s go talk to her first before we make any assumptions.”

 

With an earnest nod from Saki and another glance over at the pocket watch, Ichika closed up her notebook and shuffled it into her coat, turning the other way around, hoping that there was a chance that Kiritani-chan would understand.

 

As the two of them traversed the expansive labyrinth that was the castle, time ticked diligently through each turn and step, until finally the two had made it to the academic library where Saki’s classes were held.

 

Within the library stood lady Haruka, a well-known strategist with striking blue hair and azure eyes that swayed like the ocean. Next to her was one of the most dedicated soldiers within the Tenma army – the son of Shinei Shinonome.

 

“Ms. Haruka?” Ichika called out, stepping into the doorframe of the room. The older woman showed a look of surprise, before she gracefully pulled her hands to her sides and gave Ichika a solemn smile.

 

“What is it, Hoshino?” She asked patiently, giving Shinonome a cautious look, which sent him to leave the vicinity.

 

“Princess Saki has requested to leave your session with her fifteen minutes early,” She recalled, making sure to sound proper. “The princess has scheduled something herself, and wasn’t mindful of the time.”

 

Haruka paused, pulling her hand to her chin, giving thought to the idea. “Is the princess here with you?” She queried, wrapping her hands behind her dress.

 

Saki, taking her cue, strutted through the room to show herself. She seemed sheepish, but she didn’t seem nervous.

 

“Hello, Kiritani-San,” She murmured in a singsong-like voice, her brows laced with nervousness, now blossoming like vines.

 

Ichika followed behind, placing her hand on the princess’s shoulder so that she didn’t feel backed into a corner.

 

“I, well, Ichi-chan had already told you, and…” She stumbled, most likely nervous due to Haruka’s seriousness. But instead of giving a monotone, confused glare, she seemed to smile lightly.

 

“The coronation, right?” Haruka chuckled, which relieved Saki. “Yup, yeah,” She affirmed.

 

“I suppose that I’ll let it slide.” A relaxed sigh exited Haruka’s lips.

 

“What’s got you so excited, Kiritani-senpai?” Saki jeered, peeking interest in whatever Haruka was hinting.

 

“Ah, just… a friend of mine is visiting.” Haruka remarked cautiously, yet still holding onto her grin.

 

“Alrighty, I hope that this friend enjoys this place!” Saki remarked in a friendly tone, before trailing out of the room with child-like glee.

 

“Yes!” Saki cheered when she finally left the room. “Alrighty, Ichi-chan, ready to see Honami?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

---

         

Ichika took in a thick breath of fresh air, the grey clouds swirling above her, hinting at sudden rain. Even while inside a carriage, shielded from the rain, she could still feel it wrapping around her skin, like the biting winds and the harrowed droplets were there with her.

 

Ichika took a moment to turn her attention to Saki, who was reading some form of novel on the road. Occasionally, she’d ask Ichika questions about Honami, but for most of the time, silence was all that remained.

 

When against the roads, Ichika would stare out the window of the carriage, gazing at the small towns that encompassed the kingdom. The small villages that supported the monarchy felt comforting, if a little distant from the main city. Maybe, when Saki would rule, would these towns be just as appreciated as the palace.

 

Honami had lived in a fairly small village against the outskirts, from what Ichika recalled. Ichika too had lived in a village like that, befriending Saki before she was even known as the princess. Saki had always told her that her parents – the king and queen – wanted her to first live amongst her citizens to understand life as a ‘peasant’. And that was how Ichika was given the role of sworn sword.

 

Ichika remembered the first day she stepped into the castle, bewildered and confused alongside Honami and… Shiho. Back when Shiho was invited due to her sister, Shizuku. Back when She wasn’t a ruthless murderer. Back when Shiho had no idea who she would become. And as much as Ichika hated Shiho, she still wanted to see that person; the standoffish yet caring swordswoman who truly wanted a future with the three of them in it.

 

Ichika fondly recalled the moments she spent with the three of them, from Honami’s obsession with stars, to Saki’s overwhelming enthusiasm, to even Shiho’s… Shiho’s…

 

Ichika felt a brittle feeling build within her throat, her view dulling as she tried to recall the memories. The past was long gone, and yet, she still wished to reach it, like touching the stars. But both of those things were impossible.

 

Ichika’s hands begun to shake as bitter nostalgia grabbed at her, shaking her about like a crumpled piece of paper. She stifled a breath of air, but she couldn’t calm. It felt nauseating, overpowering, and distant.

 

She would do anything to go back to that time, to rid herself of this feeling, to let those moments last forever. But even then… nothing would ever last.

 

Why? Ichika wished, pleading to the gods. Why will I always end up alone?

 

But there was no answer to her questions.

 

Because no god could simply force her fate into the way that she wanted it. It was her who needed to act, her who would take the responsibility. And she had to accept this.

 

 Maybe that was why she was so afraid. Because no God could fix her.

 

Ichika bottled in her distant isolation, turning back to Saki. There was one thing that Ichika still had – her.

 

“Saki, you enjoying that book?” she prompted, pulling off a smile so that Saki didn’t question her tone.

 

“Mhm! It’s one of those romance books where the main characters are on two different sides, before they learn to love each other!” She elaborated enthusiastically.

 

“Oh, that sounds… nice,” Ichika attempted to understand, but the idea didn’t exactly click to her. How could sworn enemies learn to love each other?

 

“Kind of like you and Shiho-Chan, actually,” Saki murmured to herself.

 

“What?” Ichika blurted out, unaware of how loud she was. Saki began to giggle, which then turned into a full-on laugh. “I was only joking,” She elaborated, but Ichika still questioned it.

 

She did think about Shiho quite a lot. But… Shiho had changed. Maybe, Ichika did like the past version of Shiho subconsciously, but now, Ichika could never imagine even preferring to be near her.

 

“Shiho’s a cold-hearted murderer. I-I would never even think of that.” Ichika stated, attempting to change the mood.

 

Saki’s laughter subsided, and the joy she once felt turned cold as she remembered what had happened. “Yeah,” She whispered. “…Yeah.”

 

Guilt washed over Ichika as Saki’s distant silence barricaded the two of them. The day Saki had almost been murdered by the one person Ichika hated most. The one event that made Ichika’s heart bleed as she begged to rewind it – to protect Saki, to murder Shiho.

 

And that, is what Ichika swore. For Shiho to pay the price.

 

As the clopping noises of the horses came to a halt, Saki’s depressive mood tarnished and made way for her ecstatic joy. Ichika couldn’t help but chuckle at her vibrant switch in mood.

 

“Ichi-chan! Let’s go!” Saki cheered, grabbing Ichika’s wrist before she even got out of the carriage, causing the black-haired girl to spin, twisting and turning as she began to follow Saki about.

 

As Ichika followed Saki, a sense of longing and nostalgia washed over her. The feeling that she'd been here before - It reminded her so much of her hometown.

 

As She and Saki made their way throughout the village, Saki seemingly showed enthusiasm to the carelessness of the civilians. All of them seemed... depressed. Lost. Confused. After all, why would the princess of the entire Kingdom even come over to the village in the first place?

 

Ichika sighed. "Saki, maybe you should calm down," She remarked, hoping that her comment wouldn't dull the princess.

 

"I know, it's just..." Saki began, leaving her sentence with a squeal as she waved to yet another civilian. Ichika chuckled loosely before letting the princess continue with her search to say hello to every villager.

 

"Sorry, sorry, I just wanted to say hello," Saki murmurred sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck as she went back over to Ichika. Ichika let out a gentle sigh, embracing the princess with the tug of her wrist, letting Saki hold her hand, if only for a moment.

 

"It's okay, Ichi-chan," Saki reassured, letting go of Ichika. "It's just a simple walk."

 

Saki took one look over at a boutique, which garnered a maroon roof that bungled with stained glass and welded windows that emanated individuality.

 

"She's just over there!" Saki cheered, her smile wide as she began to run uncharacteristically of a princess. She didn't care that everyone else was watching her, and by extent, neither did Ichika.

 

"Hona-chan! Hello! It's Saki, Saki Tenma!" the blonde haired girl began, knocking on the door pridefully, with Ichika standing behind her diligently, watching the princess's back for any stragglers that would want to take Saki's life.

 

Not a single response came from Saki's greeting, which caused the princess to pout. "Hello?" She began again, but just like the last, silence rung true as the answer.

 

"Ichi-chan, I don't think there's any bad guys about," Saki uttered, but Ichika couldn't help but sigh. "You know what happened the last time you said that,"

 

No one needed to answer that. There never needed to be an answer because both of them swore to keep it a secret. Shiho. Even through small moments like this, Ichika was reminded. There would always be people that wanted to take Saki's life.

 

Ichika wondered when this 'job' stopped being her job. How long she began viewing it as something she chose to do - something that she, as Saki's friend, would continue to do, even when the gig was long gone. And even if Saki was the princess, Ichika still, without hesitation, would protect her. Would protect every one of her friends, past and present.

 

Everyone except Shiho.

 

Saki knocked on the door to the welcoming shop once more, finally garnering a reaction, with the door now wide open for both Ichika and Saki to, quite literally, stumble into.

 

The boutique was warm, providing a small fireplace, and a dining setup on the far right side, away from the main area of the boutique. Against the mannequins were lace and expensive cloths sewn together, detailed with star embroidery and star-shaped stitches. Definitely Honami.

 

“Wow,” Saki couldn’t help but exclaim, her eyes as bright as diamonds as she walked across the boutique, ultimately fascinated at the detail of each of the pieces shown for display.

 

“I didn’t know Hona-chan had this kind of skill,” Ichika commented, garnering a wholehearted nod from Saki. Each piece decorated was unique and delicate, using careful assortments of greys and pastels to accent the patterns and sleek-yet-graceful aura that emanated from them. Honami had really outdone herself.

 

“What are you two stunning ladies looking for?” Asked the shopkeeper, who had short pink hair and gentle, albeit passion-evoking eyes.

 

“We’re looking for someone named Honami, Miss…”

 

“Yuuki.” The shopkeeper explained. “Akiyama Yuuki.”

 

“So, Miss Yuuki, We-” “-Honami Mochizuki, correct?” The shopkeeper – Yuuki – had finished before Saki got a peep out.

 

Saki gave Yuuki a nod, before the older woman thought in silence, her hand caught cupped beneath her chin.

 

“You have seemed to have missed her. She’s just out and about.”

 

A dramatic Sigh exited Saki’s mouth as Yuuki revealed the news. Ichika too shared the sentiment, but not as deeply.

 

The silent clack of the door opening sent Ichika into a panic, her hand against the hilt of her sword as she narrowed her eyes. An assassin. As the door began to open, even more suspense wrapped against Ichika as she held her breath, ready to strike whenever the sound of steel caught her eardrums.

 

But, to Ichika’s delight and dismay, it was no assassin. Instead, it was-

 

“Hona-chan?”

Notes:

Imagine getting cliffhanger'd in an AO3 note💀 HA

Sorry about that. It will happen again tho Idk when but it seems like something I'd do

AW MAN IT AINT FRIDAY I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW DAMNIT

Chapter 5

Notes:

Ya'll are eating good, and it is definitely not because I started writing this chapter when it was supposed to be Ichika's POV and then had to momentarily switch like what who would do that not me haha

Anyways this chapter is short cause I felt like it and I have nothing else to say so noice

Shiho shivered out a cold breath of air, her eyes drooping downwards from the dim lights around her. She held her bag tight, knotting it together, her hands hidden by the sleeves of her coat.

 

Rain poured rapidly outside her window, pattering at such a swift pace that Shiho’s eyes could only see blurred silhouettes of vegetation and carpentry.

 

Shiho’s grip tightened as her lantern flickered. She lugged her bag over her shoulder, adjusted her belt, and slid her sword into her sheath.

 

She heard footsteps outside her door, but they weren’t as frantic. The lights outside resembling people had alerted Shiho, but she remained calm. This may be the Yoisakis, she thought.

 

Shiho remained on her guard, while still lost in thought. She knew that she’d have to dismiss her lack of antidisestablishmentarianism that other white knights shared during the expedition. She knew the consequences would lead to death. And she knew that the sworn sword of the princess would be at her throat the moment she stepped inside the territory of the Tenmas.

 

A shrill knock was tapped against the main door, one quiet enough not to wake Shizuku, but loud enough for Shiho to hear it.

 

Shiho slid out of her room, pulling on her lavish, warm coat, and answered the person who was outside. To her surprise, it was Airi and another pink-haired girl who greeted her.

 

“I’m glad you could be of service,” Airi bowed, her clothes soaked from the rain as she stood in the shelter of Shiho’s veranda. Her hair was tied up into one singular ponytail, wrapped with a white bow that commemorated her abilities within the territory.

 

Shiho nodded her head, taking one look at the carriage that was brought for them by the Tenmas.

 

Airi noticed Shiho glancing at the carriage, her bag still draped against her back. The smaller girl, who brimmed with an excited smile, had reached her hand for the bag cautiously.

 

“Hello.” Shiho announced, noticing the girl’s face light up when Shiho spoke.

 

“Hello! I’m Emu!” She waved, her hands reaching outwards, almost tapping Airi. Shiho didn’t know what to say – the energy that Emu had possessed was far more than Shiho knew possible.

 

“Can I take your bag?” Emu asked. Shiho presumed that this was Emu’s first expedition, and she simply wanted to help, so she handed her bag over to Emu.

 

“Don’t worry about her,” Airi reaffirmed while the younger girl ran over to the carriage. “She’s the youngest of the Otoris.”

 

Emu was an Otori? Shiho racked. Shiho never thought that such a bundle of excitement could be a part of the lead funding houses of the kingdom of White. The Otoris were known to be quiet during house meetings, and stingy when deploying people. Not Excitable and energetic.

 

“I know she doesn’t seem like one,” Airi sighed, taking a quick glance over to the younger girl, who was steadily coming back to the two of them. “But she’s the person that set this whole thing up, so if you do get the chance, maybe thank her for this opportunity.”

 

Emu finally made it back to the two of them, her head covered against a frilly pink umbrella. “Are you ready, Shiho Hinomori-chan?” Emu exclaimed, her eyes twinkling brightly like the skies above. Rain continued to pour against her, but Shiho found it endearing how excited she was.

 

“Yes.” Shiho affirmed, bowing her head, her eyes meeting the Otori representative with certainty. But still, a piece of Shiho grew with daunting unnerve. Like a swirling whirlpool condemned for the ripples it made out in the ocean, her recklessness bleeding through cloth.

 

“Shiho-commander, you don’t look very wonderhoy,” The pink-haired girl pouted, her face locked in a concerned frown. “Did we come too early?”

 

          “Wonder… hoy?” Shiho retraced, her brows furrowed ever so slightly. Airi cleared her throat, keeping up a smile. “It’s a… thing she does to make people happy.” She elaborated with a hesitant smile.

 

          “Yea, yea!” Emu cheered, her hands out in the air, almost hitting Airi in the process. The younger girl lowered her hands and uttered her condolences, but it didn’t bother Airi in the slightest.

 

            Emu was a lot like… the princess, in that regard. Shiho wished she couldn’t see the resemblance.

 

            That was, if-

 

          “-Hinomori, do you need anything else, or are we set to go?” Airi asked, nudging Shiho out of her dazed state.

 

          Shiho gave Airi a firm nod, looking out at the slanderous rain that pelted down like forlorn hail. Lightning flocked the skies, the cloud buzzing with electromagnetic heat as the winds roared beneath Shiho. Just like the ever-expanding skies above, so did her emotions stir. Like a moth to a flame, storms like these would always remind her of her self-destruction.

 

          And so, with a heavy heart, Shiho stepped up into the carriage. But as she did, the feelings began to encompass her mind, as if she were some sort of lunatic.

 

 A hallucination, one that felt so undoubtably real, too.

 

          There, stood the sworn sword, standing tall while thousands of corpses surrounded her. Litres of blood. Gallons, even.

 

          Was this because of Shiho?

 

          The sworn sword, spat out a puddle of blood, before her mouth drained out the crimson liquid from her lips. Her eyes were unmoving, her body tarnished in scars. Shiho froze up, taking a step back, her mind beginning to dive back into previous habits.

 

          “You think you can just get away…” The sworn sword was calloused and cold. “Don’t you, Shiho?”

 

          “I-I don’t know who you-” Shiho begged, unsheathing her sword, pre-emptively blocking the blade.

 

          “Are you really pulling that excuse?” she snarled, placing more pressure onto the tip of the blade in an attempt to overpower Shiho.

 

          “Do you even feel remorse for what you did?” She continued, her eyes like daggers as she continued to strike at every angle, almost effortlessly so. Almost like how Shiho fought back then.

 

          “W-wait, please,” Shiho begged, trudging through what Shiho could only presume was pools of blood. She paced further and further from the azure figure, the piercing blue eyes of the sworn sword eating at her, fuelled by revenge.

 

          “Do you really think that amnesty is an option,” She hounded. “Or do you think that you are somehow above the law?”

 

          Shiho’s throat swelled and dried up, watching her opponent launch countless swings that drew countless amounts of blood. No, she wasn’t above the law. She just-

 

          The sworn sword plunged their blade into Shiho’s stomach, but only narrowly missed due to Shiho’s instincts. She swerved and trampled against the crimson liquid at her feet, making sure not to miss a beat.

 

          A dignifiedly bitter snare echoed from the sworn sword’s lips.  Furious and delirious, she tipped Shiho to the ground, arching her blade at Shiho’s neck as she struggled to move.

 

          “Wake up, murderer,” She spat out, letting her sword carve out blood from Shiho’s neck.

 

          “Because this day,” She stifled, readying her wrists. “And remember my name.”

 

          “Ichika Hoshino.”

 

          Shiho’s eyes shot awake, her body laced in a panicked sweat. Ichika. Ichika. Ichika. Where have I heard that name?

 

          “Hinomori-chan, you don’t look…” Airi began, her eyes looking all over Shiho, which prompted the shaken-up knight to adjust her posture and fix her armour.

 

          “It’s fine. The rain is just getting to me.” Shiho answered bluntly, letting Airi buy her excuse. Emu let out a brief “oh”, confirming Shiho’s suspicions. Emu knew what she did.

 

          “Yeah,” Airi agreed, giving Shiho a brief nod, turning back to Emu. “You brought the umbrellas, right?” She questioned the younger girl.

 

          Emu had a boisterous smile, pulling out a ginormous umbrella made of wood and spare screws to suit her enthusiasm. She made sure to pull it over the three of their heads, holding it carefully as it swayed through the wind.

 

          Shiho took the path up through the rain, upright ignoring the umbrella, but not out of malice. She just simply wanted a minute for herself, a time where she could just relax her mind from everything to come. And when she pulled herself into the carriage, there she saw, next to her, the heiress of the Yoisakis.

 

          “…Hinomori?” She whispered, her voice gentle. Shiho recognised her voice, but she didn’t know where.

 

          “Oh, you’re…” Shiho began, shuffling herself to the other side so that the girl next to her didn’t feel uncomfortable. Yet, she shot them with a genuine smile.

 

          “Kanade.” She replied, dignified and calm, her eyes laced with eyebags as she looked at Shiho. She was stunning.

 

          “Kanade, I… I’m Shiho Hinomori, yes.” She elaborated, hoping for the conversation to not be as awkward when Kanade spoke.

 

          Yet, the conversation never commenced, when Kanade simply smiled as a reply before dozing off, resting her head on the windowsill of the carriage.

 

          Airi and Emu shortly packed themselves inside the carriage, with Emu making sure to shove the umbrella in the storage containment before stepping back in. The two didn’t question Shiho, but Emu did look concerned. Yet, all of that tension was released when the carriage began, and everyone began to think of their goals at hand at the Tenma kingdom.

 

            But Shiho wasn’t thinking about her goals. She was thinking about something completely different: A simple name.

 

            Ichika Hoshino.

Notes:

Have i told you guys how much I love writing hallucinations or do I just sound straight up crazy

also Kanade cameo and before you ask I am not making a white day Kanamafu AU cause I'm sure there's a ton out there y'all can binge so...

Also what's yall's opinions on Minori x Nene cause the newest wedding event got me desperate for MinoNene content

Chapter 6

Notes:

Y'all I'm such an Idiot I thought Mizu5 would be the new event (Aug. 8) And I was so wrong. I was even writing a oneshot fic for my predictions on what was gonna happen, and was gonna release it the moment Mizu5 was announced only to realise too late that there's no Mizu5 this month and I'll have to wait until after the VS worldlink, and even after the anniversary if I get unlucky.

AAAAAAAAAA SEGA WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME (If you didn't know, I'm trans and representation is incredibly important to me. From the hints we've got from Mafu5, Mizu1 and 2, Mizuki will tell their (or her) secret in Mizu5 and there's no way I'm not tiering for it when it comes to EN.

Also, I feel the need to say that I use the british-english way of writing. Not because I'm british, but because I'm australian, so words like 'realise' and [Insert word here cause I can't be bothered finding another one] will be spelled with an S instead of a Z. Just so y'all don't think I can't spell, god that'd be so embarrassing

Take your time with this chapter, made it extra fluffy for all of y'all.

 

          Ichika took another look over at the dress Saki was wearing, sitting next to Honami, who too was reviewing the garments prepared for the princess. She was scribbling some designs down, annotating with mentions of religious stories.

 

          The main thing Honami associated Saki to was the goddess Rin – a cheerful, yet considerate god, that saved the people from eternal snowfall. She was known to be the right-hand of the creator Miku. While Miku’s power reflected with the distinct light of the stars, Rin controlled the weather. Like two peas in a pod.

 

          Ichika had always found solace in the melodic creator, viewing the goddess as a gentle force that showed love to everything beautiful. Ichika, while not engaging in it as much as she once did, she would pray at chapels and offer poems to the creator when she felt her life in shambles.

 

          And normally, after she offered her heartfelt feelings to Miku, did it feel like the creator had responded. Like a feeling in her gut, guiding Ichika to where she needed to be, walking alongside her in the shape of the stars.

 

          Her mind wondered back to Shiho. Damnit, she cursed, but let her mind wander. What sort of god would Shiho worship?

 

          Ichika’s mind sorted through the minor gods, alongside some of the saints. Maybe saint Teto or saint Neru were Shiho’s style, Ichika wondered. No, Shiho barely had any interest in religion. But maybe…

 

          Ichika’s mind began to pull the pieces together, almost surprisingly so. Kaito, the god of emotion and feeling, resonating with human nature, giving true reason to the world. He was known for many things, but one thing he was truly known for was the worldwide event: Sworn silence.

 

          Sworn silence was the day that Kaito vanished, his followers perishing, his writings in history destroyed by something. Most people assumed it was the malice in humanity that drove him to leave, but Ichika knew that Shiho would look deeper. And it was something Shiho would resonate with.

 

          Shiho had always been known to use her feelings as a guide through life, but in less of an emotive way. She wouldn’t necessarily show people she was feeling something, but her actions painted a clear picture. And that was why Ichika hated that she let Shiho almost murder Saki. It was so… obvious, and she despised it.

 

          “Ichi-chan, is everything alright?” Honami asked, her brow furrowed with worry. Ichika turned her eyes, looking through to Honami, pulling off an uneasy smile to reassure her. But her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

 

          “It’s just…” She stumbled on her words. Saki noticed her friend’s worry, her facial expression now locked into something different.

 

          “It’s Shiho-chan,” Saki sighed, looking over at Ichika with disappointment. But Ichika didn’t know why she was scolding her with her eyes. She was just afraid as Saki, and she knew that Saki knew.

 

          “…Shiho-chan?” Honami repeated in a gentle tone, but Ichika could sense her concern.

 

          “She attempted to murder Saki.”

 

          The room was left silent, with Honami wide eyed and Saki dim. God, why did even the mention of Shiho bring the mood down? And why did Ichika feel so guilty?

 

          “I’m so… sorry,” Honami blurted out, turning her notebook away from her lap, looking at Saki and Ichika longingly. “I never knew.”

 

          “I-it’s okay,” Ichika tried to calm Honami down. While it wasn’t okay to abandon your friends, Honami genuinely didn’t know what happened. She had just gone through her studies, understood her path, and took it. Even if she had slightly abandoned her previous friends because of it.

 

          “Cheer up, Hona-chan! Seriously, we forgive you. Besides, you’re obviously invited to the coronation, and no ex-friend would do that, right?” Saki jeered, hoping to steer the conversation away from despair.

 

          Honami’s eyes lit up with surprise. “I guess that’s true,” She murmured, her voice gentle, but filled with hesitance.

 

          “Hona-chan,” Saki whined, seeing the pained look on the tailor’s face. “You’re our friend.”

 

          Saki wrapped her hands around the rose-haired girl, who was first taken aback before truly embracing. Ichika smiled briefly, looking at her two childhood friends. But one of them was missing.

 

          Damnit, Shiho. She pleaded in her mind, trying to swallow her resentment. What happened to you?

 

          Even if Ichika wouldn’t dare say it, or even think it, her heart missed Shiho. She missed the smile she’d portray whenever Shiho saw their friends. She missed the way Shiho would talk and talk about everything that she wished, and even ask Ichika about advice. Ichika missed having those long walks while talking about the gods with Shiho, wondering if the creator within the stars was listening.

 

          But, even some stars die out, eventually. And just as the world continued to move, so did Ichika, even if it was without Shiho.

 

          Ichika snapped out of her thoughts, hoping neither of her friends noticed her thinking about Shiho once more. The two girls were gladly hugging each other, still, leading Ichika to finally join them, hugging Honami and Saki.

 

          “Ichi-chan,” Saki giggled, pulling the three of them tighter. Honami laughed alongside the princess, which prompted Ichika to do the same. It felt so comforting to be in the arms of her friends, people she cared so deeply about.

 

          When the three of them let go of each other, there was a wave of nostalgia that hit the battle heroine viciously. Like the feeling of coming home after years of trying to find something. Like the smell of food you hadn’t had in such a long time. Like a tune you had tried to find ages after the melody had disappeared finally coming back to your ears.

 

          Ichika couldn’t help the tears that streamed down her face. She had never even known what this feeling felt like – nor did she even realise that such a simple action would cause her to feel so happy.

 

          She looked over and saw that Honami, too, was laced with tears drenching her cheeks. Saki simply smiled, but there was something brighter to the princess. Was this true happiness?

 

          “I love you all,” Ichika started, but as she said it, the warmth began to flicker. Like there was something missing, and she didn’t ever want to think about it anymore. About her anymore.

 

          “Aww, Ichi-chan, I never knew you were so upfront,” Honami smiled, her tears replaced with bittersweet nostalgia recovered from the crevices of her mind. Saki let out a laugh, alongside a nod of her head and a hum of contentment.

 

          Ichika relished in the moment, letting her insides bubble with delight, until her emotions finally settled. It was freeing. Her worries about Shiho couldn’t plague her, not now. She had her friends, her companions, the people she trusted most. And even if the moment wouldn’t last forever, Ichika was okay with it. All moments end, like novels on parchment, or duels with other knights. If nothing ever ended, nothing would ever start.

 

          Honami sat back down on one of the cushioned seats, with Ichika laying next to the sky-eyed tailor. Saki went over to put on a new dress, sliding into the handmade garment quicker than the others, before stepping out of the changing room to show the two of them.

 

          “Oh wow,” Ichika gasped. The dress was smooth, like satin, possessing an elegant yet simplistic air to it. While the main colour was white, there were courses of royal blue throughout the entire dress. The straps slid delicately off of Saki’s shoulders, pattered with an elegant frill, while the upper torso wrapped around the princess’s chest like a bow. The lower half held together with a puffy skirt that was raised above her knees, with an undercoat of a royal blue. In fact, the entire dress was detailed with blue ribbon, fitting into the elegant look with gentle patterning and one unique detail that perfected the piece: A yellow Leo constellation embroidered to the side of the skirt.

 

          “It’s gorgeous on you, Saki.” Honami uttered breathlessly, her face etched with a smile indicative of her own glee. “And to think I almost scrapped this design,” She whispered to herself, but made sure that the two girls heard her.

 

          “You’ve really outdone yourself with this, Honami,” Ichika praised. The tailor blushed, letting out a chuckle, before Saki twirled her body around, her eyes lit like fireflies.

 

          “Oh my Miku! It’s just so… incredible! Thank you, thank you!” Saki exclaimed, running over to Honami, hugging her once more, but the embrace was brief.

 

          “Ah, S-Saki-chan, I-” Honami huffed out, flustered. “I-I’m so glad!”

 

          Saki looked over at Ichika, then back at Honami. She paused for a moment, before saying, “Honami, do you want to come over to the castle?”

 

          At first, Ichika was confused. Wasn’t that the plan? But after seeing Honami’s shock and her own dose of bafflement, the swordswoman came to the realisation that Honami had only scheduled to meet at the coronation, which was just a week away, and leaving her home for a week and for her pink-haired ‘manager’ of sorts to run the place would’ve been quite a risk.

 

          “I… I don’t know, Saki.” Honami hummed apologetically.

 

          “Aww, but it would be so nice to see you more!” Saki begged.

 

          The tailor took a moment to think, leaving everyone in suspense. Ichika didn’t see a reason not to, since there’d surely be a free room for Honami, as there usually were for guests. But this decision was up for Honami to make, and only her.

 

          Honami apologised underneath her breath, before scurrying out of the room, probably to find the other person that ran the establishment. She quickly came back though, with her smile as wide as it could be.

 

          “So, where’s the carriage?”

Notes:

Guys, I'm gonna sound crazy, but play Rainworld. The name may sound stupid, but I will write a NSH x 5P fic one day. And before you ask, 'what the hell is this', just know, there HAS to be some kind of correlation between these things because I can't obsess over both of them at the same time without a reason.

Also Utau/fanloid cameos in Teto and Neru, thought it might make y'all happy

Oh wait I almost forgot- I have an art instagram! Crazy, some dumbass teen (me) can draw AND write?? Wait until I tell y'all about my hand-made cosplay hobby. The acc is named ' Villain_480_art ' If y'all wanna check me out (watch me gain -2 followers after this)

Also, shout out to FishPish, I'm officially gifting this fic to you. You are so kind I swear I love seeing your comments they make my day ❤ (Also, if you are FishPish, plz go in ur prefrences and turn on 'able to be gifted works' if you do want to accept it, but it's completely your choice and I don't mind either way, Ichishiho bestie)

Chapter 7

Notes:

Hello! Sorry for the wait, I've been writing other fics and this chapter has been on the backburner for a bit. I've been taking time to rest and focus on other stuff, which is, in all honestly, about time. I can't wait for the 23rd though, since the livestream will be out, and I hope to the gods Mizu5 won't juke me like it did last time. Also, maybe Ichi5 Hakolim? (Maybe not, but there's a chance)

          Shiho stayed uptight within the Tenma carriage the entire morning, her eyes peeled for threats as the storm raged against the vehicle. Why was she so paranoid? She was entrusted by the Tenma army, and her own army was not on patrol for this exact reason. Besides, if there were any issues, she’d easily be able to deal with it and move on. So, that still begged the question: Why was she still up?

          Her eyes faltered to stay up, but she didn’t allow her eyelids to flutter. She was Shiho Hinomori, captain and leader of all knights within the kingdom of White, dammit! She couldn’t just ‘sleep’, let alone let her body control her this easily.

 

          “It’s okay,” Hummed the soft voice of the Yoisaki heiress next to Shiho. She seemed to be messaging someone, writing on a worn out parchment using a canister of ink at her waist. “You can go to sleep if you’d like to.”

 

          Shiho was taken aback, confused at how Yoisaki knew how tired the grey-haired knight had become.

 

          “What?” She couldn’t help but utter.

 

          “I have a friend from the Tenma kingdom that’s always on edge. She normally keeps an eye on everything and doesn’t sleep,” The heiress let out a quiet chuckle. “While you and her may be… different, I can see that you’re acting a bit like her. And it’s okay to be afraid, Hinomori. I’m just saying… you can sleep if you want to.”

 

          Perplexed at such an elaborate response, Shiho grew curious of the person Yoisaki was talking about. “Does this person have a name?”

 

          The white-haired woman thought for a bit, before answering, “Yuki. Asahina Yuki.”

 

          Shiho took the name, finding it unfamiliar, but a part of her knew it was some sort of code name.

 

          “You must be used to the Tenma kingdom already, this must be a slog,” Shiho sighed, trying to ease the conversation. The heiress gave a small chuckle, but her voice was strained as she spoke.

 

          “It was mine and Otori’s idea to come over. Prince Tenma, while… loud, is quite friendly. The Tenma kingdom isn’t as bad as it may seem.”

 

          “I doubt that,” Shiho mumbled, turning her gaze from the white-haired girl, her eyes lost outside the window as the arcs of dusk washed across her tainted view.

 

          “Is this your first time going to the kingdom?” Yoisaki asked while she scribbled on her paper parchment.

 

          “…” Shiho didn’t answer. She didn’t know what to do.

 

          A dark nostalgia washed over the white knight, laced with anguish. She felt imaginary blood pool at her feet, her eyes beginning to sway from reality to delusion. As Shiho’s heart began to shake, she bit back a shaky gasp she was about to omit.

 

          She saw the view of the sworn sword slowly fade into view, and as she turned around, she realised that maybe if she were to talk to someone, to bring herself back to reality, to stop her delusions from getting out of hand.

 

          “…Yeah.” She finally admitted, holding her breath. Her diluted visions began to fade, and the stench of blood did not suffocate her nose. No longer did blood pool at her feet, but her heart still shook uncontrollably. All she wanted was to forget the moment happened, but even then, Yoisaki had already gotten an answer from her.

 

          That was why Shiho needed to be silent, despite the delusions and hallucinations ahead. Because one day, it would all catch up to her.

 

          “It was a… long time ago.” Shiho huffed, concluding her recollection. Yoisaki gave a nod, and didn’t press further. It was oddly refreshing that someone could just listen to her talk without adding so many more questions.

 

          “Hopefully this visit will be better than the last, Hinomori-chan. I hope that you’ll find your peace here.”

 

          Shiho gave the heiress a nod, taking in her words like the fresh morning spring air before pollen danced across the breeze. They took the white-haired woman’s words with consideration.

          Hopefully. But blind hope and delusion would never be enough forever, yet for now… maybe. Maybe Shiho could sleep peacefully.

 

          As the soft swaying of the carriage continued to commence, Shiho’s vision dimmed into a lullaby. Carried by the wind did the White knight drift against the dream of unconsciousness.

 

          -

 

          Shiho’s blurred vision crumpled beneath her guise, shooting her back out into a sense of overwhelm. Her mouth felt raw, draining her of her senses, but her vision was too blurred to know what was going on.

 

          “Hoshino…” A whisper etched across Shiho’s mind, wrung against her ears, her sense of tone blurring. She tried to understand what was going on, but as she flailed about, her vision raced past her once more.

 

          “Hoshino.” No longer was it a whisper – it was a vied shake, one produced by Momoi.

 

          Shiho let out a gasp of air, her eyes finally responding to her, causing her body to jolt upward. The beaming sun caught against her vision, bleeding through the windows.

 

          The White Knight let out a low growl of discomfort, tumbling across the cushioned seats, only to be shaken again by Momoi.

 

          “Hinomori, I get you’re tired, but you need to get up.” The pink-haired woman said, trying not to get too angry at Shiho for Shizuku’s sake.

 

          Shiho, finally realising the situation, sat herself up. She was quite dazed, but could at least see the Tenma kingdom in eyeshot.

 

          Shiho remembered what it was like, the first time she stepped on Tenma soil like it was the back of her hand.

 

          “Whoa,” Gasped the younger of the Hinomori sisters, her tufts of grey hair sticking out, preferably needing a cut. Of course, the miniature soldier didn’t care too much for her appearance, only that she wasn’t picked on by others. So, hair didn’t exactly count if she brushed it enough.

 

            The older of the Hinomori sisters, Shizuku, gave a small squeeze of Shiho’s hand. Shizuku’s dress was flowing down to her knees, her hair tied up diligently, giving the light-blue haired woman a regal air to her. It was surprising to see such two differing sisters interact so nicely, especially after travelling all the way to the Tenma kingdom without any stops.

 

            Shiho had never seen a kingdom so bright. In fact, Shiho didn’t even know that spring was able to be so pretty to look at. The miniature soldier normally saw the puddles and considered it as a colder summer, but looking at it from the other side of Imperia was far different. Shiho wondered what other differences the new territory had up its sleeve.

 

            With no time to waste, the two Hinomori sisters took their first look at the Tenma kingdom with glee rather than hate. In hindsight, Shiho should’ve known better.

 

            “Good, you’re up,” Murmured the heiress Yoisaki, who gave Shiho a soft smile. Airi was still staring at her disappointedly, and Otori was still looking out of the window gleefully. Shiho turned her head to the window as well, but not to admire the buildings. Instead, she hoped to strategize.

 

          The gleaming sun shone against Shiho once more, causing her paranoia to quicken. It was too bright for the Knight, causing her eyes to water.

 

          “Shiho-commander, your eyes are all sparkly,” Murmured Emu, who pouted as she asked the question, confused.

 

          “It’s just the sun,” the knight replied, rubbing her eyes to get the water off of her eyelids. “The Tenma kingdom is always bright.” Shiho spat bitterly.

 

          “Mhm! Like Tsukasa-Kun!” Otori beamed. Tsukasa. Saki’s brother.

 

          “Yeah,” Shiho mumbled.

 

          “Ooh! You’ve met him?” Emu’s singsong-like voice etched, beaming with curiosity.

 

          Shiho remained silent, aware that Momoi’s eyes were now on her with a scowl. Of course Momoi knew about Shiho’s planned assassination seven years ago. She must’ve thought that Shiho saw him during that ‘expedition’.

 

          “I didn’t know that,” Momoi elaborated, glaring at Shiho. Beads of sweat danced across Shiho’s skin, putting the white knight into an overwhelmed status.

 

          “…” Shiho sighed, standing defiant. “I’ve heard of him.” She chose to answer. Hopefully this would take the judgement off of her back.

 

          Momoi’s piercing gaze steadied, turning from a bloodbath of magenta to merely a ripple of water, steadying to the sway of the wind. Shiho relaxed, but only slightly. Maybe that was why Airi was invited – to keep an eye on Shiho. Not that Shiho blamed anyone, of course. It was the most logical approach.

 

          “He’s super-duper kind, Shiho-commander, just so you know,” Otori boasted, her pink hair swaying as the excitement in her eyes beamed. She held her hand to her shoulder, attempting to imitate the prince.

 

          “You seem to know a lot about him, Otori,” Shiho commented. While the white knight had only met the star-coloured prince once before, Emu’s impressions were quite accurate. He was ultimately quite loud, which annoyed Shiho, but Emu seemed to have a good idea of him.

 

          “Mhm! He, Nene-Kun, Rui-Kun and I meet up and do these super wonderhoy pow-pow sparkly shows!” The younger girl explained enthusiastically. While the Otoris were well renown with their financial management among the kingdom of white, the late shareholder and the founder of the Otori branch built the foundations of their name in the entertainment business. Emu must’ve been some form of legacy-holder, in that regard.

 

          “The… prince does shows?” Yoisaki interrupted, her gentle voice filled with curiosity, if a bit strained. The heiress didn’t exactly speak much, from what Shiho had gathered.

 

          “His- err, the king and queen don’t exactly like him doing it, though…” Emu’s brows furrowed. “So I normally invite him to my home to do some grown-up stuff, and we practice!”

 

          “That checks out,” Shiho huffed, getting a slight glare from Momoi until she remembered that it wasn’t a threat, and Shiho just didn’t like the royal family. Not that anyone knew why. That was between Shiho and Shizuku.

 

          “However, He’ll become a king soon, and we’ll be able to practice and preform all the time!”

 

          Shiho envied Emu’s innocence, and her belief that the Tenmas would take off their grasp from Tsukasa once he was King. She didn’t want to ruin Emu’s lofty yet flimsy dreams, so she kept silent. Maybe, one day, She’ll come to the same conclusion Shiho has.

 

          “Alright, everyone, this is unfamiliar territory,” Airi instructed, keeping an eye on each of them. “Now, I don’t know much about this place myself, but do keep a close eye on everything around you. The Tenma kingdom isn’t as open to us as the royals will be.”

 

          Like even the royals will give a shit, Shiho thought to herself. Everyone here hates us.

 

          “Understood?” Airi prompted, getting a serious hum from Emu, a delirious nod from Kanade, and a solemn mutter of “Understood.” From Shiho.

 

          The carriage came to a stop moments after they all heeded Momoi’s words, leaving way to the Tenma kingdom with open doors.

 

          Shiho waited until everyone else got out of the carriage before following suit, thanking the carriage drivers, and joining the rest of them.

 

          Two guards wandered over to the four of them, alongside a girl with violet hair and slightly soulless eyes that took interest in Kanade.

 

          “Welcome to the Tenma Kingdom, esteemed guests,” She uttered, her smile forced as she directed her hands.

 

            Here it is, Shiho. She breathed in. Don’t fuck up this time. She breathed out.

 

          She knew that there was only a matter of time before all hell would break loose. Shiho just had to survive. She needed to survive.

 

            Hopefully.

Notes:

Just gonna say, the next chapter will be some of the best food for Ichishiho if I don't redirect my ideas, hence the unresolved sexual tension

Chapter 8

Notes:

Sorry, but i couldn't resist adding another Shiho pov centered chapter. It just was too enticing. Also, I feel like giving y'all some Ichishiho crumbs before the livestream introducing all the new Jpsekai stuff would be nice. I may be looking out for niigo and Mizu5, but I am hoping for Ichi5 hakolim for all of you leo/need fans (watch me be wrong)

The introductions to the Tenma kingdom were quite standard, and while the girl commencing the tour – Asahina Mafuyu – was near Yoisaki most of the time, she did provide some invaluable information on the regular schedules that had changed for the guards. Shiho tried not to care about the schedules to deter Momoi from suspecting anything, but Shiho only cared about it for survival reasons.

 

Finally, after everything ended and the ‘esteemed guests’ got to their new bases of operations, Shiho was finally instructed into her new quarters by one of the Tenma guards.

 

Shiho made sure to put her stuff into her new room, finding the shabby carpentry as rather simplistic, yet stable enough to hold her spare armour. She noticed that there was a small religious text inside one of the cubbies, which she hadn’t seen before.

 

The white knight didn’t exactly partake in religious activities, but did enjoy learning about the farfetched stories. She especially enjoyed learning about one of these gods – Kaito.

 

As much as Shiho hated to admit it, she once got a message from the deity. Everyone around her didn’t believe her, of course, but Shiho didn’t need them to understand when she already did.

 

She remembered the day she had received the calling, it was gentle, haunted by the wistfully deranged spring evening. While she was practicing her swordsmanship in her backyard, underneath the swelling oak tree to shelter from the storm that pelted down, Shiho fueled her emotions through swordplay. She had previously been yelled out by her instructor and chastised by the other students, and she had vowed during that day that she’d prove them wrong.

 

Shiho had felt so many emotions that day – the sadness, regret, fear and anger all culminating into her swings. Rain pelted down her neck, but she didn’t care how soaked she was. The rain would hide her tears. The rain would let her cry. The rain didn’t judge her.

 

Shiho was screaming, aware that no one would hear her despair. She belted out her feelings, almost tripping over her feet before she collided with the mud that stained her normally pristine uniform. She wailed and sobbed, trying to pick herself up from her failures, but her emotions took full swings.

 

She raised herself off of the ground, her sword barely supporting her, her cheek laced with blood from where she accidentally tripped over. Shiho’s hands were covered with a blue light, her eyes dragging towards a faint glistening trail of sparks before her. She twisted her head up, confused and bewildered, her face sopping with rain and tears, her throat hoarse as she saw him.

 

“…?” Shiho scoffed, pacing a step back. Before her was a blue-haired man, hunched over, his body translucently emitting starlight from his fingertips.

 

“H-Hinomori Shiho,” He whispered like he was out of breath. “Do not… leave.”

 

“Huh?” Shiho gasped out, analysing the figure before her. He seemed so nervous, and if Shiho knew better, it would almost seem like he experienced something that made him this way.

 

“I am Kaito,” He elaborated in a hushed voice. “And you… you are one of the few that worship me.”

 

Shiho staggered, but a part of her believed his claims. “Then why are you meeting with me? Why am I so special?”

 

“Because your feelings align with another constellation, one brighter than everyone else’s. I… I want you to find your truth.” Kaito retorted, his meek voice now exuding confidence, his eyes brighter than the stars. He truly was a god, but not one that exuded perfection. He was the embodiment of human emotion, the god of humanity itself. He was everything and nothing, and his imperfection was what made him a god in Shiho’s eyes.

 

“Do not give up, Hinomori Shiho.” He wisped, his voice fading out into the stars, his body now lost within the glorious starry sky above.

 

And ever since that day, Shiho had vowed to follow this message. To find her constellation, to continue her life, and to honour Kaito. She may have not been as religious as someone would be, but Kaito didn’t seem like the regular, run-of-the-mill deity. He was a friend to Shiho in her darkest moments. And his presence would always show up, even if it was only the blue sparkling trails, or the starry sky above.

 

Every time Shiho thought of the stars, her mind would inevitably float over to an elusive figure in her life. She looked a lot like the sworn sword, but with longer, more flowy hair and gentler eyes than the wicked anguish that Ichika had. Shiho internally treasured this person, who while on a surface level seemed like a regular soldier, Shiho had learnt that this girl was innately blessed by the creator Miku in some way, just as Shiho was blessed by the deity Kaito.

 

Shiho had to part ways with this girl alongside the princess Saki, and an infamous scholar named Mochizuki Honami. Those people were Shiho’s childhood friends, before they all inevitably left her. Before they all called her experiences lies and shunned her out.

 

The grey-haired girl hated herself for being so naïve. She wanted her younger self to instead of telling those people, to ignore them and leave without a trace. Then, she’d have never have to be so hurt by their atrocious words. Then she’d never meet the sworn sword and fear her life. Then she’d never attempt to kill Saki, because the Saki she would’ve known would never be tainted with such a judgmental glare.

 

Shiho’s eyes fluttered with nostalgia. Bitter, unapologetic nostalgia. She wanted to tear out her heart and squeeze it until it didn’t move anymore, until blood spewed from her chest, and her legacy would forever be known as the assassin of princess Saki.

 

But she didn’t. She had to keep moving, keep searching for Kaito, and keep alive for her sister, Shizuku.

 

With a hollow breath and a deep mind, Shiho’s mind wandered from the ethereal, creator-blessed childhood friend to the new days ahead of the white knight.

 

She knew that it was hopeless to find the star-woven individual of her past, when there was a very likely chance that she would have already left Imperia, off to a new land wherever the creator Miku wished.

 

Shiho unpacked her things, laying them out in an organised manner, lighting up one of the candles and inserting it into her lantern for later, keeping the light closed up, since she would return later on after a quick look around.

 

She grabbed her scabbard, wrapping it around her waist, sheathing her sword tightly. She was on enemy territory, guest or not, and every step mattered.

 

The white knight wrapped her hand around the doorknob, checking around to see if there was anything out of place. Of course, she was simply paranoid, but Shiho didn’t want to take any chances.

 

Shiho pushed the door open, finally leaving her room, feeling the thudding in her heart spike. Such familiar halls, such tacky architecture, and so many banners that it could make any foreigner realise the egoism from the Tenma kingdom.

 

Shiho shrugged off her overwhelm, beginning to walk the opposite way she initially wanted, her uniform getting a few acknowledging gestures from the guards. The carpet was a blinding yellow, which contrasted to the midnight twilight that caused the yellow to turn blue from her previous time at the castle. Instead, the colours boomed right front and center, staggering anyone with sensory overload.

 

A cheery voice piqued the white knight’s interest, causing her to pull herself into alarm. The voice seemed to come from in front of her, getting louder and louder until it faded off into the distance.

 

Shiho let out a sigh, but just as her heart steadied, yet another sound awoke.

 

Replacing the cheery voice was a set of footsteps, which undoubtably turned Shiho over the edge of panic and into anxiety. She placed her hand on the hilt of her blade, her body swerving around to see where the footsteps were coming from, until-

 

“How are you here?” A screeching, snarling hiss etched from the lips of the one Shiho feared most.

 

Ichika Hoshino.

 

Siren-like eyes pierced Shiho’s gaze, choppy azure hair swayed uncomfortably close, and a sword embellished with the gentlest of touches whisked her vision. But Shiho had trained. She wasn’t going to fuss around this time and stumble.

 

“Back off,” Shiho snapped, unsheathing her blade. “I don’t know who you are.”

 

Ichika’s brows scowled, her breath tickling against Shiho’s neck. “I know that, Hinomori.” She answered defiantly, sending a shiver down Shiho’s spine. There was something to Ichika’s eyes, a hint of weakness that swallowed the white knight’s defiance like an ocean of stars.

 

“So, l-let me ask again,” Ichika huffed out, stuttering on her own words. Her eyes weren’t laced with hatred now, but rather, just as much overwhelm as Shiho.

 

“I said back off, bitch. I could cut your throat and impale you with a single swing. Do not get in my way.” Shiho commanded, holding her ground, her lips now manoeuvring towards Ichika’s ears so that even the smallest of whispers would be known.

 

“…!” Ichika stepped back, her eyes wide with distain and fear. Fear that Shiho could easily use to strike. But Shiho only wanted to survive. She had played her part long enough.

 

“Good. …I am here for the coronation.” Shiho elaborated, her eyes narrow as she followed Ichika’s gaze.

 

“Surely the sworn sword of the princess honor her kingdom’s guests, huh?” Shiho taunted, hoping that Ichi- no, Hoshino would get the point that the white knight was trying to make.

 

The hollow blue eyes of Hoshino blinked, staggered and wounded, like a limping animal scurrying home. Shiho sheathed her sword and pushed Ichika out of the way, giving the sworn sword a glare on her way out.

 

Shiho adamantly scurried away, waiting for the blue-haired girl to disappear from the hallway, which she had eventually done, leaving Shiho a path back to her room. She wasn’t informed with any odd schedule nonsense, and no guard came up to her, so maybe she’d just be able to sleep it off.

 

But she knew Ichika wouldn’t. And that relieved Shiho.

Notes:

Short chapter = sad
short chapter + gay = good
Ao3 math.

I did say there would be crumbs, but Shiho ate and left none of them this chapter cause DAMN. Man im so good at writing (let me be delusional please, just this once) (wait i thought Mizu5 would come out on the 8th of august and people did let me be delusional)

ALSO HELL YEAH I GET A LONG WEEKEND FROM SCHOOL! BOOYAH!

Chapter 9

Notes:

I'm so sorry if it's rushed, I just pumped out 4 chapters for my other fic in a week and I genuinely was super stumped on how to write this one. However there is platonic Ichisaki fluff, so hopefully that makes up for my lack of updating.

Good ol Ichika chapter, let's get this show on the road!!

Ichika sat in her room, her throat sore, her mouth agape while her tears spewed from her eyelids without warning. It was her. Why was it always her?

 

The sworn sword thanked the creator that her room was soundproof, otherwise even the kingdom of white would hear her groans and sobs and wails. She hated how badly Shiho could manipulate her into submission, how much she feared the emerald-eyed assassin with her life. She wanted to throw herself to the ground and curl up onto a ball, but she was already far too much of a mess.

 

“Why?” Ichika choked out, contemplating to herself, her calloused hands gripping her skull, almost crushing her head from her grip. “Miku, Wh-why did it have to b-be like this?”

 

Ichika let out a gut-wrenching wail, her throat now fully hoarse as her mind spun a thousand miles an hour. It was sickening how horrible she felt, how powerless the apathetic assassin made her.

 

Everything felt so cold, like ice formed against Ichika, numbing her into a false sense of security. It made her feel so alone, so lost, so… pathetic. Saki had told her that Shiho wouldn’t be invited. Tsukasa organised this, not the king and queen. He was one of the few that knew the truth. Then why? Why did Ichika have to suffer unaware, hopelessly unable to do anything?

 

“Curse you, Shiho!” She rasped, but it was useless. Everything was. Her petrification would only leave her open to venom, she knew as much.

 

As much as Ichika wanted to scream her lungs out and destroy everything in her path, there was one thing that caught her fury vulnerable and defenceless.

 

Saki’s life was in danger, and she didn’t know.

 

Ichika tripped over onto the ground from how fast she got up, leaving a bruise on her nose which she cared little for. Ichika shakily wiped her tears with the back of her hand, urgently strapping her scabbard to her waist before frantically running out her room without a care about the judgement passed her way.

 

I need to get to Saki, I need to keep her safe, I need her to stay alive, Ichika chanted in her overwhelmed, almost utterly chaotic mess of a mind. She sprinted past the first floor of the castle, making her way through the noble houses’ quarters, until she finally reached the main sector of the castle where only those who had royal blood or connections were allowed to enter.

 

Ichika ran past the dimly lit rooms, her mind distinctly remembering which path to take, but her uneven breathing began to catch up to her.

 

“I… must… get to… Saki…” She whispered so strained that even she could barely hear it. Her throat was raw from her screaming, her eyes watery and irritated from the fine lights, and her body was exhausted from every way she forced it to move.

 

But once she finally knocked her raw knuckles on the doors of Saki’s chambers, she had collapsed against the ground once the door swung open.

 

“Ichi-chan?!” Saki gasped shakily, her volume reduced to that of a whisper, her eyes wide as she saw one of her closest friends tumble into her room from exhaustion.

 

“Shi… ho…” Ichika rasped out, pulling herself up, her head dizzy from moving so quickly. Maybe she really needed those iron elixirs from the alchemists.

 

“I… I saw… her…” Her heart throbbed as she spoke, her eyes barely allowing her to focus, her breaths still sniffly and crude from her escapade to the princess’s quarters.

 

“Ichi-chan, I’m sure there could be a mistake. Maybe you saw someone that looked like her,” Saki reassured, but there was a tinge of worry to her voice. I shouldn’t’ve pushed such pressure on Saki, Ichika realised.

 

“We can check in the morning, okay?” Saki gave a weary smile. “You can sleep in my room if you’re too worried. Besides, I trust you.”

 

Maybe she did have it all wrong. Ichika delusionally thought to herself, just saying it to lull her anxiety.

 

“How are you so… calm?” Ichika asked once she herself had calmed down. The princess had turned her bright, magenta eyes over to Ichika, her smile bittersweet, her hands elegantly placed in her lap.

 

“Well, I… I’ve learnt to accept it. I forgive her for it, but that doesn’t mean what she did was okay.” Saki elaborated.

 

“You forgive her?” Ichika scoffed. How could Shiho be forgiven? She was heartless, brutally attempting to murder Saki. Why did Saki even dare to forgive such a monster?

 

“Forgiving someone isn’t for their sake, Ichi-chan.” Saki continued, her voice stern yet gentle, like that of a royal. “I forgive her because I can’t let a grudge control me for my life.” She answered, her hair sliding against her face, casting a distinct shadow that was laced with doubt, her eyes no longer sparkling with hopeful naivete. Instead, she let out a shaken sigh, her head low, her gaze redirected to the ground.

 

“A-and, even if my life is small, I’d prefer to live happier.”

 

Ichika gave a sober look at Saki, who was laced with stress. Ichika gulped, her breaths hollow, her hands tapped against Saki’s, much to the princess’s confusion.

 

“I’m so proud of you, Saki.” Ichika smiled, genuinely for the first time. Saki had learnt so much when she was bed-ridden, and it pained Ichika’s heart to see the happy young girl she once knew to grow up involuntarily. But now, she had accepted life and made it into what she truly wanted. And that, somehow, made Ichika proud.

 

“I’m happy you’re here, Ichi-chan. I don’t know if I could’ve done it alone, hehe,” Saki uttered with a gleeful smile, taking the sworn sword’s words to heart. The princess rested her head on Ichika’s shoulder, letting out a bittersweet sigh of relief. “You’re a wonderful friend.”

 

“Even if what happened seven years ago still bothers me?” Ichika asked. Saki let out a cheeky laugh. “Of course, silly! There’s nothing wrong with that.” She beamed, tugging the knight’s scapula closer.

 

“also, Ichi-chan, as much as you may want to end Shiho’s life…” Saki began, trying to start with a calmer tone. But Ichika was already tense. “…I don’t think you should.”

 

Saki cleared her throat, sliding off of the mattress, standing tall. “Please kneel,” She murmured hesitantly, catching Ichika off guard. Yet, Ichika obeyed her princess’ commands.

 

Saki placed one hand over Ichika’s shoulder. “Under order of the Tenma royalty, I command you to… not kill Hinomori Shiho.” Saki uttered seriously, stumbling on her words from her inexperience.

 

“Understood.” Ichika answered, bowing her head, waiting for a couple of seconds until Saki let out a nervous, yet gentle bout of laughter.

 

“I-I’ve never done that before,” Saki chuckled, pulling Ichika up by the hand, her smile wide. “Alrighty, now you don’t have to get yourself into unnecessary trouble by mom and dad,” She explained.

 

“So… this is about me not getting in ‘trouble’?” Ichika asked, still quite nervous. She too had never gone through any sort of royal commands, but if Saki had directly used her royal status to forbid something, Ichika was bound to be curious.

 

“Well, I know you, Ichi-chan,” Saki quipped. “If you get yourself locked up, I don’t think I’d be able to help you.” She sighed.

 

“…Oh.” So it was that serious. Ichika could’ve gone to jail for it.

 

“Waah, don’t give me that look,” Saki exclaimed guiltily. Ichika looked up, uttering her apologies frantically, but the princess was simply messing around with Ichika.

 

The sworn sword now knew the stakes. She knew exactly why, too. And now, she could enjoy the calm once the storm had subsided. She could simply hang out with her friend for the night until the coronation.

 

Ichika knew that once the morning would come, she’d ask everyone what had brought Shiho here, despite her anxiety.

 

Wait, what if Shiho didn’t know that saki was alive?

 

That was a problem for future Ichika.

 

 

 

 

in reference to the Author’s notes, Here is the link!!

Notes:

Saki is that one rich kid that claims she isn't that rich but she literally is and I stand by this.

Also during that entire scene where Saki commands Ichika, I just envision that one meme where it's that gremlin person on a leash, but instead it's Ichika just having a mental breakdown and Saki just smiling WAIT IM AN ARTIST I CAN DRAW IT aight I'll update this description when I actually make it (Finally my art skills coming in clutch)

Chapter 10

Notes:

Sorry for the late notice, but my dad has been through hospital, my friends have isolated themselves from me, and life's just been throwing me through the trenches. Great for my other fic on psychological horror, though! Now i can write about dehumanization and severe panic attacks!! Fun!

Shiho awoke rugged and confused, completely disoriented for not being in her own bed. However, from muscle memory, she awoke just before sunrise, the room painted in a bluish-gold blow that swayed like the seashore. Phosphenes clung to her vision, disorienting her once more, but she didn’t mind it. The slight after-sting was nothing compared to the unease she felt when in enemy territory.

 

The white knight clamoured out of her bed, sitting on the ground, recollecting everything that had happened the day before.

 

You are safe now, She uttered to herself. No one can hurt you.

 

A sigh escaped Shiho’s lips, her body slowly beginning to relax. You survived, Shiho. She praised herself internally, but she knew it was fleeting.

 

She began to finally focus, her eyes now taking in every wispy colour that danced like the seafloor, swaying from the illumination of the glass. Shiho barely ever got to experience sunnier days, especially when the marshlands of the kingdom of white – or rather, the domain of white as the Otori’s called it – were plentiful. Alongside the rapid snowstorms and the glittery snowflakes, sun was barely something that the domain had experienced, and by extent, Shiho.

 

Shiho used to adore the sun that played across the glass windows in the Tenma kingdom. But the light it produced never was the truth. Not when the glass was stained with red, trickling off of the sides of the edges, blotchy and overpowering. Now, every time Shiho saw light pour from windowsills, she could only see that sight.

 

The white knight took in a breath of air, exhaling slowly to relax her body. Had she always been this tense when remembering things? Maybe it was just because she was in enemy territory.

 

Shiho wandered over to her armour, fitting it on, alongside equipping her scabbard. She wasn’t one to make the same mistakes, but she thought that surveying the area would be her best bet.

 

So, when her hands reached the doorknob, her heart heaved and shrivelled inside her organs, pumping out vicissitudes of blood like a motor trudging out petrol. She twisted the knob, her fingers twitching, her anticipation brewing with every sudden movement. So, when she finally shoved the door open, to see passages of people roaming the halls was a wild surprise.

 

And one of these people, was Momoi Airi.

 

“Ey, Hoshino, I was just going to wake you,” She beamed, her normally reserved state now oozing with glee. It confused Shiho.

 

“Don’t give me that look, I can be happy when I want to.” Airi huffed, retorting to her normal status, earning a comfortable grunt from Shiho. Momoi scoffed at Shiho’s lack of acknowledgement, muttering beneath her breath, but the white knight didn’t care.

 

“We’ve got a meeting from the Tenmas. And that just so happens to include some of our most trusted officiants from here.” Momoi elaborated with a prideful smile. “The princess won’t be there, though, thanks to you.” Airi glared, but the guards didn’t seem to notice.

 

“Can I get names?” Shiho asked, her body stiff. Anyone but Hoshino.

 

“Well, there’s Tsukasa Tenma, the prince, Haruka Kiritani, Minori Hanasato, Akito Shinonome, Ichika Hoshi-”

 

“I’m not going.” Shiho interrupted, her entire body caught in a cold sweat, tense from stress. Airi, perplexed, gave Shiho a scowl.

 

“It isn’t a choice, Hinomori.” She elaborated, her eyes cast in shadows, defining her confused annoyance.

 

“Momoi, you don’t understand.” Shiho shook out, trying to keep the words inside, but she couldn’t. “I could be risking my life as we know it.”

 

“That Hoshino person knows what you did, doesn’t she?” Airi asked sympathetically, showing the smallest amount of empathy. Somehow, she didn’t want to risk Shiho’s life. Shiho gave the slightest of nods, which confirmed the magenta-haired girl’s suspicions.

 

“Then bring your blade.” Airi permitted.

 

Shiho trusted Airi.

 

…

 

“Aha! You’re all here!” A distastefully loud laugh escaped Tsukasa’s lips, his amber eyes glistening with glee. Shiho couldn’t be any more uncomfortable.

 

The white knight sat in the last seat left – next to Hoshino. Of course she’d be uncomfortable. She was scared out of her mind.

 

“I’m glad to see all of you, friends! Since you’ll be spending the next two months here-”

 

“-Excuse me?” Yoisaki blurted out, her nervous blue eyes staring up at the yellow prince with horror painted all over. However, the prince just laughed it off. “Of course! You’re our guests, and while our pasts have been conflicting, I wish to welcome all of you!”

 

“Tsukasa-Kun, are you sure?” Emu asked, her brow furrowed with concern. “We thought it was two weeks.”

 

“O-oh, well,” Tsukasa murmured, flustered, his face turning a hyperpigmented red. “Our kingdom will provide with all the necessities!”

 

“Are you sure about this?” Commented an orange-haired teen, his hazel eyes showing distaste in every ounce of this so-called meeting. “Seriously, you can’t just throw them free food when-”

 

“Ahem!” The prince cleared his throat. So the Tenmas have production problems.

 

“We, however, might not be able to provide dishes and meals for free. But we will allow you to live here, within our walls, for free.”

 

Shiho kept her composure, but she so desperately wanted to groan and leave. this entire meeting was insufferable in her eyes, and some others felt the same.

 

“What is it you actually want to tell us, Tenma?” Shiho couldn’t help but ask, too bored out of her mind to care about the glares being thrown her way. She had her sword to defend herself.

 

“Err, please be patient,” He stumbled, earning yet another groan from the orange-haired guy.

 

“He wants to invite you to some kind of get-to-know-you exercise.” He huffed out unenthusiastically.

 

“Akito!” Tsukasa yelped, embarrassed. “You didn’t need to phrase it like that,” He added, but his embarrassment didn’t falter to make him look goofy.

 

Shiho’s blood went cold, her body far more tense than it already had been. And with Hoshino – the one person willing to murder her at any opportunity – Shiho didn’t know what to do.

 

Shiho’s eyes blotted in and out, trying to focus on what was in front of her, but all she could hear was the collective ramblings of prince Tenma and mindless chatter from the other participants.

 

Shiho’s breaths became irregular, her face pale from anxiety, her body shaking much to her dismay. Shiho’s stomach quiesced and a rattled sigh exited her mouth, feigning into exhaustion.

 

“W-well, since Akito over here has spoiled the anticipation,” The prince mumbled, “We will have to commence the activity now.”

 

“I-I’ve got plans,” Murmured the shaken voice of Ichika, who shuffled herself away from Shiho in her seat. However, The blonde prince beamed with pride, raising his finger to her as a counteract.

 

“No need, miss Hoshino, for Saki’s schedule has been handed to another knight.” Tsukasa boasted, sending Ichika into a panic.

 

How fake can she get? Shiho thought, annoyed at how much Ichika was creating excuses. Shiho never saw her as a manipulator, but the white knight might have to now change that prerequisite.

 

Maybe Shiho was simply trying to annoy herself so that she wouldn’t be scared of her threat. If emotionally internal belittling was a thing, that was what Shiho was doing.

 

But despite what Shiho was trying to do, she was still scared. Scared of what was to come. Scared that Ichika would inevitably murder her.

 

“Hoshino, you’ll be paired with Hinomori, and…” Tsukasa began, but his other ‘pairings’ were lulled and blurred from Shiho’s mind, vanishing to replace her emotions with absolute panic.

 

“Prince Tenma, excuse me, but do you really want to finalise these… choices?” Momoi uttered, glancing back at Shiho in her seat.

 

“Yes, I’m completely certain! Don’t worry, Akito won’t bite,” The prince reassured, batting away any opposing words that Airi could use to sway Tenma’s judgement.

 

Shiho felt the blood in her body churn unnaturally, her eyes barely able to focus on the room around her. She tried to breathe, but the air in her lungs were unnaturally short. She gripped the hilt of her sword so tight that sweat began to balm up against her skin, creating an uncomfortable texture on the metal.

 

Shiho, unable to let herself willfully think straight, began to walk out of the building, much to other people’s confusion. She just needed a breath of fresh air, a rest, a moment where her thoughts could stop seeping through the cracks.

 

The white knight trudged through the doorways and out towards the halls, her body moving directly to wherever the closest exit was.

 

Shiho finally managed to get through to the gardens, where her body finally moved to her command, slowing down and regulating its breathing. No longer did she feel like a pawn.

 

The iridescent lavenders and sunflowers glinted through Shiho’s gaze, the comforting yet overbearingly bright sight lulling the knight into something calmer, despite the colours around her.

 

She sat down on the grass, her eyes drooping downwards. Just calm down, she chanted. Calm.

 

But calm never lasted in Shiho’s world.

 

“Hinomori.” Ichika uttered, her body overshadowing the knight, but taking a fair amount of distance from Shiho.

 

“Gods, can’t you give me a-”

 

“No!” Ichika snapped out, screeching at the top of her lungs. “You don’t just get to- to act all high and mighty!” She continued, her voice like the roar of a beast, her body shaking violently.

 

Shiho stood up, but not out of courage. She didn’t know what she felt at all. But there was one thing she did know.

 

She deserved it.

 

“What else do you have to say, Hoshino?” Shiho mocked bitterly, her bangs hanging over her face, casting shadows that hid the resentment and guilt that flashed over her.

 

No. she shouldn’t be cowering. But why? Why was she letting this happen? She said she’d live for Kaito, for Shizuku, for herself. Then why was she feeling guilty? Why? WHY?

 

Maybe, sometimes, there wasn’t a reason. There just was. And Shiho needed to accept that.

 

“You think this is a joke, don’t you?” Ichika hollered in a low voice, emanating with hatred.

 

I deserve this.

 

“Go on,” Shiho prompted, trying to sound malicious, but she ended up sounding just as deflated as she internally was.

 

Ichika, confused, took a step forward, her blade promptly unsheathed at her wrist. It wasn’t arched to Shiho, but to know that she wanted to hurt Shiho was enough for her to grip tighter onto the hilt of her own weapon.

 

“You think that you can just ignore what happened, Sh- Hinomori. Do you realise what you’ve done?”

 

For once in Shiho’s life, she knew what she was feeling. Defeat.

 

“I know, Hoshino. And if I wasn’t invited here, I’d never come back.” Shiho answered honestly. She… she let Ichika torment her. She gave up trying to avoid it.

 

“Are you only saying that to appease me?” She screamed back. “Enough with the lies! What are you trying to get out of this? What are you planning?”

 

“Why…” Shiho didn’t understand. She should be fighting back, not being vulnerable. What was wrong with her?

 

“Why aren’t you raising your sword?” Shiho spat out, forcing the words out of her mouth. She resented that she was even asking the question. She should be fighting back, telling Ichika to leave her alone. Not weak and lowly. She was the commander of the domain of white, not some nobody.

 

“What?” Ichika stepped back, her eyes wide, her expression changing almost immediately. Shiho didn’t expect this response from someone so hell-bent on murder. It was almost like… No. Ichika wouldn’t care about Shiho.

 

“…” The azure-haired girl had an unreadable expression on her face. “If Saki didn’t order me to keep you alive, you’d be dead.”

 

“I figured,” Shiho spoke. She did not ‘figure’. She had no clue.

 

Ichika raised her sword while Shiho was contemplating, directly at her neck. “She didn’t say I couldn’t hurt you.”

 

Shiho didn’t stop her. She was cornered by bushes, her neck slowly being cut open by a blade that she wanted nothing to do with.

 

“I…” Shiho rasped out. No, don’t say it. NO. NO, DON’T-

 

“I’m sorry, Ichika.”

 

“Stop lying!” Ichika pressed the blade further in.

 

“Leave me… alone.” Shiho spat out, finally backing away. She had done enough wallowing. She just had to leave.

 

“I can’t allow you to do that, Hinomori.”

 

Now, Shiho was fed up.

 

“Go fuck yourself, Ichika! I don’t care!” She screamed unnaturally, her sword raised at Ichika’s, clashing against the metal.

 

“I’m going home, and you’ll never see me again, okay?” Shiho replied. She had enough with all of this.

 

“You’re not welcome here when you come back, Hinomori. Everyone will know what you did.”

 

“I know.”

 

So, she left. And Ichika didn't stop her.

Notes:

I am not sorry, I do not regret anything, and fluff is a non-existent concept in this fic

Chapter 11

Notes:

Y'all are eating good with this one, you got the angst, the fluff, the tension, the emotion AND lore.

Ichika’s eyes fluttered with disbelief, her sword arched at Shiho’s neck, her body trembling against the blaring sunlight against her. The sun wasn’t what disturbed the azure-haired girl, though. It was the look in Shiho’s eyes, the shadows cast against her figure, the tense, defeated feeling that wrapped against her like she was a corpse.

 

“Get out of my way.” Shiho hissed, pulling Ichika’s sword away from her neck with her bare hands, her skin now cut open with wounds. Ichika did not yield, confused, overwhelmed, and lost. It didn’t make sense to her. Why was she stopping Shiho?

 

Right. She was afraid. Afraid that Saki would get hurt.

 

“I-I’m not falling for your trickery, Shiho.” Ichika forced out, using her blade to block the white knight’s path.

 

“You do realise this pathetic duty of yours will risk your life, Hoshino. You don’t have to serve that princess, just because you’re ordered to.” Shiho uttered oddly reasonably.

 

“I do it because she’s my friend.” Ichika replied defiantly, her voice booming out, her face caught in a scowl.

 

“Something you would never know.”

 

Ichika’s words ticked something in Shiho, causing her corpse-like mannerisms to change into something more volatile and malicious, her tense body slowly moving to the beat of her fury until Ichika was forced to face it.

 

Shiho unsheathed her sword from her belt quicker than the speed of lightning, tossing out ruthless swings with no care in the world. A silent battle, or so it seemed.

 

Ichika’s sword clashed against the metal, twisting and churning, making a sound that disoriented Shiho’s force and caused her sword to back off of Ichika’s.

 

“You… don’t get to say that!” Shiho tore out, her voice boiling over from malice to anguish. Ichika swung at the now stagnant knight, but Shiho blocked it without turning her head, pulling through so much force that Ichika’s only action was to back away.

 

“You know nothing about me, Hoshino!” Shiho snarled, her emerald eyes piercing Ichika’s blue, despite the dimmed light cast upon Shiho.

 

“You weren’t there when I lost her.” Shiho forced out bitterly. “When everything I cared about disappeared.”

 

Shiho’s voice quaked, her body becoming reduced to an emotional mess, causing Ichika to sheathe her sword. She… she never realised that Shiho was like this. She had always thought that Shiho was a monster.

 

“What?” Ichika hissed, coming off as confrontational, but her brow flexed with concern.

 

“You all act like you care, like you give a shit. Stop pretending that you’re anything more than heartless.” Shiho snapped, striking Ichika on her cheek, causing blood to seep from the layers of skin.

 

Ichika flinched. Heartless? Was that what she was to Shiho?

 

Right. She didn’t remember Ichika.

 

“Why?” Ichika pleaded without hesitation, catching a look of surprise from the white knight. “Why don’t you remember me!?”

 

Tears fell from Ichika’s cheeks as she pleaded, her desperation somehow causing Shiho to hesitate from the way she screamed. But Ichika couldn’t hold her composure, not until her throat had run dry and hoarse from the begging.

 

Shiho’s eyes widened as Ichika crumpled, her head in her hands, her body quivering with panic. “I-I don’t understand why, I…”

 

“What are you doing?” Shiho stepped back, glaring at her. “I already told you, I’m leaving.” Shiho shoved Ichika to the side, pulling herself together.

 

“But Shiho-” Ichika called out, her eyes lost in surprise, but the white knight disappeared without a trace.

 

The silence was deafening.

 

Ichika fell to her knees, realising the mistake she made. Her heart waned with confusion, lost in doubt, as everything began to crumble before her. “Mi… Ku…” She whispered, her body throbbing with overwhelm. She wished – no, begged for the creator Miku to answer her call.

 

A trail of interwoven stars followed against a bittersweet melody, one as soft as the strums of a guitar. Ichika’s eyes followed upwards to see the creator’s translucent figure looking over at her.

 

“Ichika… is everything alright?” The cyan figure reached out her hand, placing it on Ichika’s shoulder as her words formed into gentle wisps of starlight.

 

“Shiho-chan, she’s leaving,” Ichika’s voice escaped as a sob. “A-and I…”

 

“Hm? Leaving?” Miku cocked her head. “I don’t believe fate has allowed her that.”

 

Ichika looked up at the creator, wide eyed. “What do you mean?”

 

Miku paused for a moment, before chuckling, a grin wrapping against her face.

 

“Ah, so that’s what you mean,” Miku cooed. “She is not leaving the kingdom, Ichika. Don’t be sad – I have your back.”

 

Miku gave a solemn smile, her eyes glinting like stars, before she turned around and looked upwards.

 

Ichika knew that the goddess was bound to leave, but she wasn’t ready for it.

 

“Miku, wait!” Ichika exclaimed, her hand reaching for the galactic fate-melding individual. Miku let out a grunt, her sparkling eyes turning back to Ichika; Miku’s face still painted with a gentle smile.

 

“I… I want to know why Shiho doesn’t remember me.” Ichika asked. However, the creator’s reaction was not one Ichika saw often, if at all.

 

The smile on Miku’s face was reduced to a frown of contemplation, one brief and cold. No longer did the stars feel so close, like the air was adrift with clouds instead of galactic whimsy.

 

“The answer is not as simple as you’d think,” Miku hummed, still lost in a frown, webbed in a mix of concern and disillusioned entropy.

 

Ichika’s body remained tense, awaiting even the smallest of fragments of truth. “Just… tell me something. Please, I’ll do anyth-”

 

“It’s not your fault.” Miku whispered. “It’s Kaito’s.”

 

Ichika reached out her hand, attempting to grasp onto Miku once more, but the etherical creator disappeared before even the smallest of words could be uttered.

 

But why would the god of emotion and humanity be able to manipulate memories? Surely that would go to the goddess of perception and reality, not a god whose followers perished and died.

 

Ichika knew better than anyone that contemplating would get her nowhere.

 

“Ichika-chan, is everything alright?” Uttered the faint voice of Honami, whose white dress swayed from the gardens and into the knight’s point of view.

 

“Ah, Hona-chan,” Ichika murmured nervously, pulling herself upwards and adjusting her posture. “I’m alright, just a bit… dazed…”

 

Honami’s eyes followed over from the cut on Ichika’s cheek down to the other more shallow nicks of tarnished fabric. “Your uniform,” Honami scowled empathetically, taking in her tailor-like mindset first.

 

“We need to get you patched up,” Honami uttered, grabbing Ichika’s wrist before dragging her back into the castle grounds.

 

As Ichika hurried through the area, she couldn’t help but recall the sight of Shiho, hunched over, her hands covering her face that was laced with tears. How someone so blunt and distinct could be reverted to an emotional mess was something that stuck with Ichika.

 

But why? Why did Ichika want to comfort her? Why was she surrounded by guilt, sheerly because of Shiho?

 

Ichika, led by Honami, had finally reached the medical ward, but mentally the azure-eyed girl was still within her moment with Shiho. And just as she suspected, there was more to that day she attempted to assassinate Saki.

 

This person she mentioned… that she lost… Ichika felt like there was something she was missing.

 

“Hey, Honami, do you know if Shiho-chan ever… knew anyone other than us three back then?” Ichika asked, sitting down on one of the chairs, her eyes fixated to the ground, her voice groggy.

 

“Hm? Shiho-chan? Didn’t she try to…” Honami gazed off into the distance. “I don’t know. Sorry, Ichi.” She whispered.

 

“It’s alright, I’m just curious,” Ichika laughed nervously, trying to bring herself out of her speculations. Honami gave her a look of concern, but didn’t press further. Ichika was grateful for it.

 

So, Honami carefully tended to Ichika’s wounds, much to the confusion of the other nurses. Despite the weird looks, the azure-eyed knight found it peaceful, until a pink-haired girl wandered into the ward.

 

“Ooh! So this is the medical ward!” She squealed, with Tsukasa – the prince – following behind her.

 

“Hoshino? Where’s Hinomori?” Tsukasa asked, his eyes fixated on the scar on Ichika’s cheek.

 

“She’s… leaving. She’s gone.” Ichika elaborated. “I don’t think you’ll be able to convince her.”

 

“Eh?!” Tsukasa gasped, giving a look over at the pink haired girl. “Emu, could you go get her?” The blonde asked frantically.

 

The pink haired girl – Emu – left the vicinity, with Tsukasa’s and Honami’s eyes staring directly at Ichika.

 

“Shiho’s… here?” Honami asked. “She… she…”

 

“You both seem to know something about Hinomori that I don’t,” Tsukasa observed plainly, his brow knit in confusion.

 

“…” Ichika’s mouth sews shut, despite how much she wanted to speak. She saw the glittering sparks of the creator ruminate around her, which meant that if she did speak, Shiho would be… banished, or so it seemed. Miku knew what she was doing, after all. She was the creator.

 

“I-I don’t know, she’s just intimidating,” Ichika lied, which Honami absentmindedly followed through with her.

 

“I’m so sorry that this had to happen,” Tsukasa wallowed, his amber eyes looking bleakly at the ground. “Please, stay safe, Hoshino. And you too, Mochizuki.” The prince darted out of the room hastily, leaving off with a bow and allowing Ichika a moment to think.

 

Now, Ichika knew her true goal. Figure out Shiho, and why she became this way. Then, she could truly, truly protect Saki.

 

But time will only tell lies in Imperia.

Notes:

Leo/need Kaito is so silly

Chapter 12

Notes:

*Looks down at notes* uhh... good luck

Should I tell y'all or... nvm

good luck (Again)

Shiho sat in her room, her stuff packed up already, the gentle haze of the spring-coloured light pouring from her window carefully accenting the carpentry of the room. Shiho let out a small sob, trying to hold everything together, but she couldn’t.

 

The only person she didn’t want to know about the assassination attempt was Shizuku, and really, she wouldn’t believe it at all. So why was she so stressed?

 

And Shiho couldn’t bear the pounding heart in her chest any longer.

 

“Hinomori-commander?” knocked the younger Otori, her pink hair pointing through the crevice of the door. Her tone was wobbly, like a wave of water that rippled against the seashore.

 

“I heard you wanted to leave from miss Hoshino,” She murmured, until her slow concern turned to an all-out gasp emitted from her mouth.

 

The smaller girl ran into the room in a panicked manner, her eyes fixated on the cut directed towards Shiho’s neck – the indent that Ichika had implanted.

 

“You’re bleeding, Hinomori-chan!” Emu yelped, her body movements frantic as her eyes bounced off the walls.

 

“I realised I’m no longer welcome here, Otori.” Shiho muttered stiffly, brushing away the pink-haired girl’s concern as she returned to packing her stuff.

 

“No, this isn’t good,” Emu commented to herself. Welled with concern. “Tsukasa-Kun said that…”

 

“Look, Otori, it doesn’t matter now.” Shiho snapped frustratingly. “I was never welcome in the first place. And this mark,” Shiho pointed at her neck. “Was because of Hoshino. Because I’m not welcome.”

 

“Don’t say that!” Emu exclaimed loudly, but her words didn’t sway the knight. “Hoshino would never hurt a fly.”

 

“You’re defending her?” Shiho scoffed. “My life is in danger because of her!”

 

“Why?” Emu asked.

 

Shiho froze.

 

Think of something, an excuse, an assumption, anything, Shiho chanted in her mind, but all that remained was fog.

 

“I don’t owe you an explanation.” Shiho answered, coming off as malicious and dismissive – but maybe that was the point. It was an incredibly sensitive topic for Shiho. Not even Shizuku got the privilege of such knowledge.

 

“But if this is some sort of miscommunication-”

 

“No,” Shiho spat out, facing the pink-haired girl head on, seeing the look of fear imbedded into her eyes. “This problem can’t be solved.”

 

“But…” Emu whispered, her eyes drooping downwards, slowly beginning to fall with tears.

 

“As I said, I’m leaving, and that is final.” Shiho concluded, turning her back to Emu. But Shiho didn’t realise just how determined Emu was.

 

“You can’t leave now, Hinomori!” Emu shouted out, staggering the grey-haired knight. “Just because Hoshino may be mean, doesn’t mean you have to leave.”

 

Why am I listening? Shiho thought, letting her guilt eat at her.

 

“We’re here to support you, not bring you down.” Emu gave a small, melancholy grin, grabbing Shiho’s hand, redirecting her gaze.

 

“A-and if you leave,” Emu’s voice began to falter, “then we’d be alone.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Shiho whispered, letting go. “I…”

 

“Hinomori…” Emu sobbed, desperate for Shiho to stay. Shiho didn’t understand – everything would be fine without her.

 

“Hinomori Shiho, you had one job!” Screeched the gnarling hiss of Momoi, who slammed the door open so swiftly that the walls began to tremble, the strength of bricks unable to withstand her fury.

 

Emu yelped in fear, shuddering as she stepped away, her eyes drooling with terror. Shiho’s mind shook violently, but her body remained tense and calm, not taking warning to the person ahead.

 

“And to think that I trusted you! The gods shou-” Airi snapped, her voice booming until her eyes landed on the cut on Shiho’s neck.

 

“Save your breath on something more useful, Momoi. We both know I don’t belong here.” Shiho sighed, looking at the ground. “I’m leaving here.”

 

“What?” Airi swore under her breath, her hands wrapped into fists, her face as pale as snow. “What did Hoshino do?”

 

“…” Shiho turned away, resuming her packing. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.

 

“You’re really serious about leaving,” Airi realised, pitifully too late to do anything.

 

“I should’ve never come here.” Shiho whispered, tinged with regret.

 

“Hey, don’t say that!” Emu responded, but it didn’t change Shiho’s mind about anything.

 

“Emu, do you know why I wasn’t allowed to go here for seven years?” Shiho tore out.

 

“N-no,” Emu uttered, unsure of herself. “But-”

 

“I attempted to assassinate the princess.”

 

The entire room went silent, but Shiho didn’t bother turning around and figuring out why. She didn’t have the energy to care.

 

“I should’ve known better than coming back.” Shiho muttered, angry at herself. Angry that she let herself come back here without punishment. “Maybe that’s why they all invited me. To humiliate me.”

 

“Stop acting like you know why you were invited,” Momoi interrupted brashly. “No person should ever be subjected to pain wherever they go just because they did something seven fucking years ago.”

 

“Now, if you don’t mind telling me what Hoshino did, I’ll go give her a piece of my mind.”

 

“Don’t.” Shiho muttered impulsively. “You’ll make an enemy out of all of us.”

 

“But if you’re being hurt,” Emu added, her tone alight with concern.

 

Tell her the truth. Tell her what you feel.

 

“It doesn’t matter!” Shiho screamed, turning to face Emu and Airi, only to be met with fear from both parties.

 

Just say it, Shiho. Let it out.

 

“You cannot convince me to stay! I’m not putting your lives on the line!” She shouted.

 

“Hinomori, listen.” Momoi urged, but Shiho didn’t heed her warnings.

 

Say it.

 

“What the hell do you want from me, after being nothing but hostile?!”

 

Shiho bit her tongue before she could say anything else, realising how far she crossed the line. Tears fell from the knight’s cheeks, but not enough to make it noticeable that she was crying.

 

“Emu, let’s go.” Airi uttered quietly, getting a confused grunt from Emu, who looked at Shiho with concern. Shiho turned back around, her throat heavy as she resumed packing; the door of Shiho’s room closing behind her.

 

Shiho knew well that she may have just broken the trust of two of her closest comrades. She knew that her emotions would lead her to the path she would take. What Shiho didn’t know, was why she was doing all of this.

 

It almost felt dehumanising to her – she’d always act upon reason and give motivation to her every move. Even through her emotional outbursts, she’d be able to control it, or at least let it feel like she did it. But not this time. Every word, from her conversation with Ichika, to her ruthless ramblings to her allies, didn’t feel like her own decisions.

 

But now, she was alone. She didn’t have any decisions to really make, except the simpler ones. And she didn’t have to deal with anyone.

 

Maybe that’s what she wanted. Maybe that wasn’t. But what she did want, was to go home. To see her sister again, to watch the world tick on without worrying about anything. To live.

 

Shiho wanted to live. It was ironic, to say the least. Shiho always wanted things to end – training, days, waiting – but not this time. Shiho didn’t understand why she wanted to live, even in moments like these. There always was a reason to everything. Why time moved, why people speak, why food is needed to survive. But never ‘why do I need to live’. There was no answer, not even a hint. And it irked Shiho.

 

“Just keep packing,” Shiho told herself, fitting in the final essentials. “You’ll be home soon.”

 

But something about her going home felt so wrong. Her blood curdled and mucked as she thought about leaving. Especially when, now, she could find out more about what happened nine years ago.

 

No, Shiho told herself. You already gave up on that years ago. The truth will only lead to more pain.

 

Maybe that’s why she couldn’t remember much from that time. Because the truth led to pain, pain that could only be succumbed by repression.

 

Truth be told, Shiho wanted to curl up and cry. Her heart, her mind, and her feelings became too much. She wanted to scream, to thrust her blade into the mud. But she wanted to live. She wanted to live.

 

Did her life truly mean anything to anyone? Was there anyone who truly saw her, and believed she was something more than another person?

 

Shiho remembered the feelings she once felt – the emotions that plagued her as she saw the girl who treasured her dead. The blood, the glass, the breaths that ran to a close. The tears, the begging, the regret.

 

Nine years ago. That’s how long it had been. Nine agonising years of loneliness, regret, and resentment. No one paid the price, no one owned up, no one even spoke of what happened. Shiho remembered. She remembered being dragged out of the castle, being condemned by Saki, begging for the moment that someone, anyone could answer why.

 

Shiho knew that was the reason why she tried to kill Saki. Shiho knew that was why she hated this place. Shiho knew it was futile to even care.

 

Gods, Shiho hated herself. She hated every bit of her selfish, brutal, sociopathic self. And, in her eyes, everyone else did, too.

 

Everyone… hated Shiho.

 

But Shiho lived on. She lived because she wanted to.

 

Even as the tears fell, as the ugliest bits of her were exposed, did she want to live.

 

Shiho grabbed her things, pulling everything tight as she organised her mind. She wouldn’t let such deprecating thoughts holster her away from making it home.

 

She missed the innocence of bliss. She missed the emotions that weren’t fleeting. But, despite how much she missed this, she’d rather live knowing what she knew, realising that Saki and the Tenma kingdom would hide the information of her death than helping Shiho.

 

And Ichika Hoshino… she had this air of innocence to her. This feeling that she didn’t realise what this godforsaken kingdom had done to Shiho.

 

But Saki already paid the price, while Shiho took the blame of justice. Ichika was merely a pawn displayed as a confidant, a puppet without a puppet master, strings cast to the constellations. Strings that Shiho would sever as a commander of castaways, holstering the burdens against her shoulders.

 

Shiho knew that she would eventually carry the weight of the world until she’d topple and crumble – her solitude guiding every step. She wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened.

 

Then why did her mind go back to Ichika?

 

No. Shiho caught herself before she could even think of it. Ichika is not our friend.

 

Then why did she care? Why did her voice stumble when Shiho eased the burden of knowledge? Why did she weep and beg for Shiho to remember her?

 

Questions filled Shiho’s mind like pattering raindrops cascading from the tin of rooftops, sliding down into the gutters, until pools of water drooled from the skies. Her mind would tip at any movement, so she fell into stagnation and gripping frustration.

 

Why did she fight for Shiho to come back?

 

That was the question that could keep Shiho up at night for months. Those nine words coiled around Shiho’s subconscious and swam through any other interval of thought, relishing in the mismanaged mess of emotions Shiho was feeling.

 

How could such empty eyes capture so much emotion? Shiho pondered, rewatching the moment play out. Shiho knew she wouldn’t understand, and that Ichika would most obviously raise her-

 

“Shiho?” A breathless whisper, one single word called out meekly, plagued by a deep blue that swarmed Shiho’s view.

 

The grey-haired knight released the stuff from her hands, taken aback by the look of the god before her, even if she’d seen him countless times before.

 

“Kaito,” She responded, easing herself when she saw the god give out a genuine smile, if a little perplexingly so.

 

“I didn’t know when to see you. …You always seem quite busy,” Kaito commented, trying to pick up the conversation.

 

“I think I needed the distraction.” Shiho sighed out, looking down at the ground. “Besides, I need your advice.”

 

“Ask away,” The blue-haired god chimed, relaxing himself on one of the chairs, fitting himself in the seat in a formal manner.

 

Shiho took in a deep breath. “I… I want to leave here. The Tenma kingdom, I mean. And I don’t know if I should.” She murmured shakily.

 

“Hm,” Kaito hummed, looking around at Shiho’s packed bags, then off into the distance. He always seemed either anxious or comfortable – Shiho could never tell with gods.

 

“Why do you want to stay?” Kaito asked before prefacing, “You’ve told me how much you despise this place.”

 

Shiho groaned out in frustration, which garnered a frown from Kaito, before his expression resumed to neutrality. Shiho tossed herself to the other side of the room, pacing back and forth. She told Kaito everything, so surely…

 

“It’s her. That godforsaken sworn sword.” Shiho forced out, not even realising her wording. However, Kaito didn’t seem to care.

 

“…You don’t seem to happy about her.” Kaito offered.

 

“It’s just – she acts like she’s all high and mighty, then she cares all of a sudden, and now I don’t know how to feel. I…” Shiho swallowed in a deep breath; “I feel like she’s gonna betray me, Kaito.”

 

“She won’t.” Kaito uttered without thinking.

 

“How?” Shiho frowned.

 

“Her emotions are conflicting. She’s attempting to act with logic when her heart wants to take the first step. She doesn’t have faith in herself – she’s trying to convince herself that she should stay away from you out of intuition rather than instinct.”

 

At first, Shiho was dumbfounded, denying Kaito’s words, until it clicked – of course Kaito knew. He was the god of human emotion.

 

“…So, what do I do?” Shiho asked, knowing that a god would have more knowledge on a topic like this.

 

“Stay, and wait. You will find an answer to all of your questions.” Kaito elaborated.

 

Shiho trusted Kaito’s words, even if she wanted to go home. Comfort meant nothing when the end of the tunnel was on the other side.

 

Only the future would tell.

 

Notes:

I am now committed in giving Shiho a disney princess i want song in this fic, but instead she's fucking appalled and furious about everything as she waves her dress around like a maniac, screeching at the top of her lungs. *not clickbait* *emotional* style

Chapter 13

Notes:

Sorry for the long wait on this chapter! I've been trying to perfect my writing style and make sure that this chapter flows nicely. It's slightly longer than a usual chapter, per-se, but it will be bittersweet. Honami has been just passed aside for a couple of these chapters, so this one will focus on her for the most part. Anyways, enjoy!

Ichika looked over at Honami, whose eyes were calloused with concern and fear, trapped within a swarming mind that she bore witness to.

 

Honami had stayed by Ichika’s side, even after she left the medical ward, to make sure that what had happened wouldn’t happen again. Ichika thanked the rose-haired tailor immensely for her support, but Ichika couldn’t help her guilt eat at her.

 

Had I been wrong about Shiho? Ichika thought, her throat twisting inward, her mind locked innately. She couldn’t understand why she was so hostile towards the White Knight, why now she couldn’t remember or understand the details.

 

Ichika already told Honami that she was the one to strike first, and that Shiho shouldn’t be punished. Honami understood that it was fully Ichika’s fault, but even then, she didn’t blame Ichika. But Ichika knew that she’d eventually be found out. That her actions would have consequences.

 

“Honami-chan, do you ever think that there was someone else aside from us four back then? That… Shiho knew someone else?” Ichika asked awkwardly. She needed to know why Shiho was like this, why she hurt Saki, why she didn’t attack anymore, why-

 

“I think so.” Honami remembered, her brows knit in a stern expression, her thoughts clicking together like a puzzle piece. “…I’m sorry, Ichika, I don’t think that I know who…”

 

“That’s okay. I-I’m glad that you told me.” Ichika responded hastily. So there was someone.

 

“Ichika-chan, if you don’t mind me asking,” Honami whispered, her meek voice catching up to the sworn sword’s ears.

 

“Yes?” Ichika hummed, spinning herself back around, her short, choppy hair clinging to her cheeks, her eyes glistening intently like stardust.

 

“Why did you…” Honami began, until she shut her eyes from embarrassment, yelping; “err, sorry, I guess that’s a bit private,”

 

“No, you’re all good,” Ichika encouraged. Of course she would ask why. It was only natural.

 

“Why did you ask about… that?” Honami’s queries filled in Ichika’s expectations, causing Ichika to steady her exuberant exhales.

 

“Just curious,” Ichika lied, garnering a concerned look by Honami, but she didn’t pry.

 

The two continued to walk down one of the hallways until Ichika would be departed to her quarters to wait for Saki to return. Or rather, that’s what Honami told the azure-haired knight.

 

Ichika trusted that she’d eventually figure out the truth – that she would never be swayed by bias or elitism. That despite people’s actions, she’d want to understand. That is who she aspired to be, following in the footsteps of the creator Miku, standing up for what she believed in. And Ichika was sure that the same would be said for anyone else who had bore witness to the creator, or any of the gods with their own eyes.

 

But despite this, despite the fact she searched for the truth, it felt like the answers were never meant to be deciphered – that everything had already faded before she could glimpse the reflections and ripples. Ichika knew that Saki would have answers, but she couldn’t help herself from thinking about the possibilities.

 

Honami looked over at Ichika from the corner of her eye, her lips pursed as her irises stemmed to the floor and the carpet, drooping defeatedly. Occasionally, she’d glance back over to Ichika, attempt to say something, but words would not come out.

 

That was, until Honami’s sparkling blue eyes tightened from the grip of emotion, and her throat quaked with unsureness. “…What happened when I left?” She asked, her fists curled, her gaze faltering.

 

“…” Ichika didn’t know how to answer that question; it was so long ago that even she questioned her own knowledge. However, it was Honami she was talking to. She couldn’t let more unknown details shroud her judgement.

 

“I think that… Shiho was the first to leave.” Ichika recounted. “And that you left on the same day, while I stayed there – here – as much as I could.”

 

She remembered that day like the constellations bleeding from the clouds, detailed against the sunshine and the rays of opalescent fragments of light. She was treading against the hall, around five-to-six years old at the time, her boots unnecessarily heavy as she trudged her way against the carpet.

 

It was noon, and most guards gave her confused stares, but with Saki only a meter behind Ichika, it was pointless to question.

 

“Ichi-chan, you’re so fast,” Saki pouted, running in her rather uncomfortable heels as she too attempted to pick up the pace. Ichika turned around and let out a light chuckle, stopping in place as the young princess caught up.

 

“Saki, this is an important day.” Ichika reminded the cheerful blonde royal, but not without a smile creeping against her face. Back then, she hadn’t experienced the art of hiding her emotions.

 

“Aww, I wanted to play some more before mom and dad got all serious,” Saki whined, crossing her arms. “I never get to stay up this late.”

 

“I know,” Ichika sighed, attempting to pull of her most serious expression she could show that depicted she wasn’t caving in. “But if your parents say no, I may have to leave like Shiho-chan and Hona-chan.”

 

Saki gave a mixed expression, before letting out a sigh. “But you better play with me tomorrow!” She affirmed.

 

Ichika nodded, turning her head back over to the path in front of her, ready to show the King and Queen that she was truly ready to protect the princess – to protect her friend, Saki – with her life.

 

“After both of you two left, I spent every hour I could with Saki, until she asked me one, simple question.” Ichika elaborated, smiling fondly.

 

“What was the question?” Honami asked, eager.

 

“She asked me if I wanted to become her sworn sword.”

 

Ichika approached the doorway with Saki, waiting as the princess stepped in first, Ichika following in tail.

 

The Queen was the first to respond to the two children walking into the meeting hall. “Saki? Hoshino? What are you doing here?”

 

Saki gave her mother a weary smile. “I, um, have a question.” She murmured, breaking eye contact with her parent.

 

The king’s head turned at the sudden seriousness of Saki’s mannerisms, garnering a surprised yet gentle stare back at the younger princess.

 

“I suppose speaking will do no harm,” He cleared his throat, “What is this question?”

 

“Can Ichi-chan, er, Hoshino be my sworn sword?”

 

“After Saki had asked me, I began training, while also spending time with Saki. I couldn’t contact any of you, let alone tell anyone why. I… I even sparred with some of the older guards.” Ichika let out a bittersweet laugh, if only briefly.

 

“Training?” Honami wondered, her soft voice filled with intrigue. “You… truly did dedicate your life to this place, didn’t you.”

 

Ichika nodded. “I don’t think I could ever go back.”

 

The king and queen looked over at Saki silently, both with unreadable expressions.

 

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” The Queen asked wearily, yet not denying immediately. Ichika’s heart pounded and swirled with anxious confidence that maybe her work would pay off, that this day could dictate the rest of her life.

 

“I’m very, very, very sure.” Saki affirmed with confidence and passion in her decision.

 

“I’m sure you know that you can’t change this decision, and that Hoshino will have to train for two years to become a knight.” The king interrupted.

 

“But…” Saki pouted, looking at him desperately.

 

“If this is what you truly want, we can reserve a spot for Hoshino.”

 

Ichika blinked. It was that easy? She just had to go through two years of training, presumably already covered for? Even in the present day Ichika was boggled at the mere idea.

 

“Ichika Hoshino, do you also want this?” The king asked in a serious tone.

 

It was that day Ichika knew her life would change from that day on.

 

“Yes, my king.”

 

“I had to go through two years at a training camp, unable to interact with others outside of the camp.” Ichika continued, remembering all the people she had met. Commander Akito, sorcerer and alchemist Rui, strategist Haruka, and many, many others in different fields.

 

“But, after that camp, I officially became Saki’s sworn sword, and I cut my hair and got a new uniform. And then, out of nowhere, Shiho attacks Saki and hospitalises her, and seven years later… here I am now.”

 

Honami wrapped her head around Ichika’s short but sweet story, gazing in awe. “Shiho-chan… did she ever explain why?” the tailor asked.

 

“She… didn’t even remember me.”

 

A sudden pang in Ichika’s melancholic heartbeat sent shivers across her skin, isolating and desolate as her eyes waned to look forward. Her breaths became solicitous, her head filling with thoughts, but she pushed through. But one question continued to remain in her memories: ‘Why?’

 

Honami wrapped her hand around Ichika’s, pushing open the doors to Honami’s quarters, surprisingly, as the two wandered inside.

 

“S-sorry for the sudden change of route, I just thought it’d be quicker, a-and you seemed really focussed,” Honami blabbered hurriedly, adverting her gaze from Ichika, her hand still intact with that of each other’s.

 

“I guess so,” Ichika breathed a sigh of relief, clambering onto a chair tucked away at the corner of the room, with Honami separating her hand from Ichika’s to sit tidily on the mattress of her bed, her legs swaying across the bedframe.

 

“When I had left and enrolled into the academy for scholars, the staff didn’t let me send letters,” Honami explained. “I-I would’ve contacted you sooner, but by that time, I didn’t think that you guys were still thinking of me…”

 

“Of course we were thinking about you, Hona-chan,” Ichika uttered confidently, firm on her loyalty and dedication. She knew that Honami was a timid individual who blended in with the crowds, that Honami would give her life to the people. But she never truly trusted someone close, always thinking that everyone was out of grasp, except people from her childhood, like Ichika herself and Saki.

 

“I… I’m so sorry, Ichi-chan. If you never tried to contact me all that time ago, I probably would’ve never talked to you again.”

 

“We’re all only human,” Ichika rebutted. “And after everything with Shiho happened, I was glad to see that you also didn’t leave us. Didn’t leave me.”

 

Honami huddled over to Ichika, wrapping the azure-haired knight in a gentle embrace.

 

“Thank you, Ichika.” Honami smiled, her voice meek yet emotive, traced with bittersweet undertones against the melody that was her sound.

 

“You’re welcome, Honami.”

Notes:

(Wait I can use the stereotypical Ao3 line I just realised)

Uhh if this chapter is bad, I'm just 14 and autistic

Chapter 14

          A blink of light flooded from Shiho’s eyes as the crevace of her door creaked open for the thirteenth time in the last thirty minutes. She groaned, tossing her eyes aside, but the sight of a belated gold hitched her face and spun her attention right back towards the door – or rather, the person standing near it.

 

            “You.” Shiho hissed, her eyes wide, her hands struggling to stay still at the daunting figure before her.

 

            The perpetrator of Shiho’s madness remained silent, her eyes tucked to the side, her face lost in disarray as she remained still.

 

            “I know why you’re leaving,” She answered, her blonde hair swaying as she tilted her head upwards, her eyes gazing upon nothing. “but I… I don’t blame you.”

 

            “You fucking killed her!” Shiho spat, letting her words ruminate. The person before her did not flinch, nor did she move at all.

 

            “I-I get it,” She sighed, holding back tears as her voice croaked unnaturally. “But I… I wanted to know if you’d like me to tell others.”

 

            “…” Shiho let her rage subside, stepping backwards. “About what, exactly?”

 

            “To hide the case. Nothing to do with you.” She sighed. “…I just wanted to know if you were okay with that.”

 

            “Oh, how fucking considerate of you.” Shiho rolled her eyes in disgust. “Get out of my room.”

 

            “I have one condition,” She whispered, turning her back to the white knight.

 

            “You will never speak of her, of what happened, again.” She spat out.

 

            “And what do I get?”

 

            “Amnesty.”

 

          Shiho’s heart bled open at the sound of her eyes latching awake. She felt her skin crawl as that memory dawned on her for the first time since she last experienced it. She remembered the way the door was slammed on her, the way that someone she thought was her friend disregarded any care for her. But now, she remembered the words torn out, the deal strung on shaken ground.

 

          Shiho’s chest grew tighter as she remembered the conditions of this deal that she had broken.

 

You will never speak of her, of what happened, again.

 

The words dwelled in her mind like a hurricane, tearing against cities and towns without any care at all. Shiho’s body tremored at the feeling of now being hunted down, lost in territory unfamiliar, dying known as nothing more than a disturbed, sick individual with no moral compass.

 

All because she had, inevitably, spat out at her pursuer, at Ichika. Someone that could easily ask a single question to a single person to set Shiho’s life ablaze.

 

But why did Shiho care about a half-assed deal that had no credibility? Why did she suddenly remember it? And why would she ever abide by the rules of some impulsive, naïve old deal?

 

In a fit of rage and frustration, Shiho clamoured out of her bed, adorned her armour, buckled her scabbard to her waist, and fled her room out into the gardens.

 

…

 

The thick moonlight clung to the clouds, mystifying the constellations that bled through the sky. Shiho’s throat constricted at the sudden texture of the air that unnaturally blotted her view. She shrugged off the odd sensation and unsheathed her sword, resting it next to her leg as she regained her footing.

 

A slither of wind gallavanted through Shiho’s swings, her blade cutting invisible rifts of air that flailed against the might of Shiho’s voracity. The White Knight’s body moved like that of a choreographed procedure, her every swing almost checking off a list of techniques that threaded through the way Shiho fought. Shiho enjoyed the solitude her training brought – through thick and thin, she’d train alone, and it didn’t matter who walked by. Shiho truly felt free when she wasn’t being nagged every two seconds.

 

A sharp hiss echoed out of Shiho as one of her swings collided with her movement, causing a screech of metal to echo across the area. She hoped no one was alerted by this sudden slip up.

 

Despite this, Shiho continued on, with the chirps of crickets and the rustling of leaves as her audience.

 

Shiho’s breaths grew dim as her heart began to flow discreetly with nostalgia. The bushes, the atmosphere, the sudden shift of wind… it all felt familiar for the knight.

 

Yes, Shiho realised. This is where I met her. Shiho’s heart throbbed at the epiphany, her swings letting low, her eyes fixated on the oak tree that stood tall next to her where curious eyes once watched Shiho train.

 

Shiho could never truly come to terms with the fact that she did miss her presence. Shiho couldn’t decode her own emotions – she didn’t even know what it was like to miss her until she was gone.

 

With the echoes of the past looming over Shiho, her comforting solitude turned into nothing more than an aloof reminder that she’d always be alone, despite the way she wished to have someone by her side. But Shiho would always end up with silence as a response.

 

Shiho swallowed back her denial, swinging out her sword and repeating her usual drills. She’d find someone. Someone who didn’t hunt her down like Ichika, betray her like Saki, or forget her like Honami. Someone who didn’t pose her like a danger, or a monster, or a burden.

 

But, with the days thinning closer and the ringing in Shiho’s ears, that day never seemed to come. Even witnessing the projection of a god wasn’t enough to pull her out of the tides of fate.

 

Maybe she could find the star-woven individual of her past, who once accompanied Saki, Honami and herself. Maybe that person would be this ‘someone’. If only she never attempted to assassinate Saki, maybe she’d be able to find this person.

 

Shiho picked her sword from her grasp and into its scabbard, encasing the blade as she made her way back into the castle walls. Her breaths grew heavy as she continued to shimmy her way past the guards lines of sight, which wasn’t too difficult, since the guard’s rotations still followed the old protocols.

 

Shiho slithered over to her room, before a calloused blink of shadows twisted against her. Shiho scowled and looked around, but as she did, more of her view began to constrict. A mage’s magic.

 

The blistering shadows did not stop Shiho from unsheathing her sword, using muscle memory as she began to sway her sword frantically, trying to pace her breaths.

 

“…Oh?” Whispered a distorted voice that caught up to Shiho. A smooth hand cupped Shiho’s chin. “Do you…” they snarled hesitantly with small nails that attempted to puncture Shiho’s skin. “Do you know anyone by the name of Shiho Hinomori.”

 

“What?” Shiho yelped, defiantly pulling herself out of the Mage’s grasp, thudding into the wall doing so.

 

“Hm. I’d like you to come with me.” The mage paused, tapping Shiho’s shoulder and sending a burning sensation ripple across her body.

 

She blinked, seeing a purple-haired mage with two diluted eyes indulging in Shiho’s dazed body reveal itself from the inky fog that once plagued Shiho’s vision.

 

“What are you doing?” Shiho muttered, bewildered that some mage just muttered some ramblings just to order Shiho around. “Who the hell are you?”

 

“Do you know a person named… Miu?”

 

Notes:

Y'all PLEASE comment I desperately need to see who took the bait and who didn't (no i'm not elaborating further)

Chapter 15

Notes:

You all aren't ready for this chapter. And I'm not gonna lie, this chapter only came out because I dug myself a hole with the last one that I had no other choice to actually steady the pace of the lore dumps.

TW: Hallucinations, suicidal idealization, character death, graphic depictions of depression

Shiho had looked over at the man again, seeing his features more clearly than when encased in shadows. His eyes were laced with a golden glow, his monocle hiding his insane haze.

 

Shiho had recently learnt from him that he originated from the place that Miu had, which Shiho had already deducted. What Shiho didn’t predict was that he too was a runaway from the dark arts, and was not, in fact, attempting to kidnap Shiho.

 

“Now, I don’t intend to keep you here long,” He murmured, taking a look at one of his ‘inventions’. “But I doubt that corridor is a good place to hide.” He huffed out.

 

“You’re an esteemed alchemist, and I’m a so-called guest.” Shiho added.

 

The alchemist simply nodded, wandering to the side, avoiding Shiho’s scowling gaze. His robes trailed along the floors of the laboratory, the dim lights casting shadows at every corner. He mumbled to himself, before remembering that Shiho was in the lab.

 

“Ah, right. It was my idea to invite you here.” He added calmly. His gaze did not reach Shiho’s confused eyes.

 

“What?” Shiho gasped out, her eyes locked in a scowl. No, that’s impossible. An alchemist shouldn’t have that much power in a kingdom that locks people up for dark magic.

 

The alchemist turned his gaze to Shiho, giving her a shrug. “I have been waiting for years to finally get an answer from you, and you didn’t seem too fond of here.”

 

“An answer?” Shiho interrogated. She already knew that Miu had connections to several other people as a nomad.

 

“Ah, where are my manners,” He cruelly changed the topic, which frustrated Shiho to the ends of the earth.

 

“I’m Kamishiro Rui, director and alchemist of the Tenma kingdom. You are…?”

 

“Answer my previous question, Rui.” Shiho snapped back.

 

“I didn’t expect you to be so straightforward,” He sighed, finally reaching

Shiho’s eyes. There was a disturbed silence that came with his delirious state, his hands reaching over one of his tables as he made his way to Shiho.

 

“I want an answer for Miu’s death.”

 

Shiho looked at him dazedly, bewildered that he could just ask for such a thing. This fucking prick thinks he can just say that?

 

“It was nine years ago. I don’t have time for this.” Shiho spat back, but Rui’s figure only got closer. “Leave me alone.”

 

Shiho could feel Rui’s gaze surround her like a poison injected into her veins. The way his hands loomed around her and cast shadows over her figure, the way he snickered in a delusional manner at her defiance, backing her into a corner.

 

“Oh, Hinomori… you don’t have a choice.” He whispered, leaning over towards her, his eyes plastered against Shiho’s.

 

Shiho gripped her sword tighter, her eyes trying to duck away from the prison Rui had seemingly left her in.

 

Rui grinned wildly, placing his ungloved hand underneath Shiho’s chin. “I know you have the answers, Hinomori.”

 

“No.” Shiho spat, her eyes fading from focus. A hallucination.

 

Blood pooled at Shiho’s feet, and the stench of corpses filled her senses. She tried to say something, cleanse herself of such discomfort, but her efforts were fruitless. Her breaths thinned as she looked around – a tattered battleground, where Miu stood as her opponent.

 

“I told you to avenge me.” Miu spat, arching her tendril-filled hand towards Shiho. “You were too much of a coward to.”

 

The brunette Shiho once knew threaded her fingers into the air, sending inklings of black matter flying towards Shiho. The knight stepped backwards, her heart pounding unnaturally as she wove her body through the darkness.

 

“Nine years. You had nine years.” Miu spat out, her eyes enraged, her body slowly moving towards Shiho.

 

“But I… I did something.” Shiho defended. “You told me that if I risk my life, it won’t be worth it.”

 

“But you haven’t risked your life, have you?”

 

Shiho’s heart dropped as Miu’s words rung through her head, plaguing her mind. The figure before her closed her eyes, the shadow-like tendrils ripping up from the ground, pulling Shiho to her knees.

 

“You were able to kill the princess,” Miu tormented, taking another step closer. “You were able to flee and not risk your life.”

 

“You didn’t give me a time limit.” Shiho barked, getting back onto her feet. She just had to steady herself, and stop the hallucination.

 

“I thought nine years would be enough for you, Shiho-chan.” Miu whispered, her softer voice sending a wave of nostalgia.

 

“I don’t get to just carry the burden of your death.” Shiho muttered heartlessly, arching her sword. On the inside, she was breaking apart.

 

It’s just a hallucination, She told herself. It’s just a hallucination. It’s just a hallucination.

 

Shiho knew that this Miu was not the one she once knew. This person was cold and loud, not the pacifistic wanderer that desperately wanted to forsake her blood. The person that wanted to heal the world rather than destroy it.

 

“Goodbye.” Shiho whispered almost silently, before plunging her sword directly into Miu’s chest.

 

The blood at Shiho’s feet began to fade, and her surroundings were normal, but the mage before her… was on the other side of her sword.

Dead.

 

Shiho murdered him.

 

Shiho held her breath, her eyes wide in shock as Rui’s lifeless body slumped down onto the ground, with Shiho’s blade now laced in his blood.

 

“No.” Shiho choked out, denying what she had done. “It was just a hallucination. It… it wasn’t real.”

 

Shiho looked down at her hands, dropping her sword with a clank of metal. Her body rippled and shook, her eyes laced with tears. “But I…”

 

In her shock, Shiho ran out of the room, sprinting past any of the guards’ gazes to head to her room.

 

Maybe I am a monster.

 

Shiho twisted and turned against the corners of the castle, her vision fading in and out of shock. She felt sick. She felt horrible. She felt hopeless.

 

Maybe I’ll always be alone.

 

Shiho ran into her room, jolting the door open as she clamoured her way inside it, sporadically sobbing violently, her emerald eyes stained with fear.

 

Maybe I should die.

 

“I…” Shiho whispered hopelessly, until the pain became too much that she couldn’t scream, let alone cry. Her limbs felt numb. Her heart wilted against the snow. Her body slumped into despair.

 

She picked herself up, getting out her bandages and applying water using her canister, before rubbing off the blood from her sword. Leave no evidence behind. After this, she disposed of the dirty bandages by putting them in a component in her bag, sheathing her sword to leave nothing more.

 

She clamoured her way into her bed, desperately wanting to cry, but the pain she felt was too unbearable to warrant it. She just wanted everything to end.

 

But, it didn’t. So she did the next best thing. Sleep.

Notes:

Farewell Remy the rat (don't ask)

Chapter 16

Notes:

I actually reread this chapter like 7 times and spent like 9 hours re-editing it. And yes, I added a poem. Why? Cause why not. My brain said yeah so I did it.

As a sidenote, this is genuinely one of the best peices of writing I’ve ever written, and I do not regret a thing. Also my motivation has straight up peaked. I've spent my entire day writing this, no cap.

 

Ichishiho lovers, (this includes you, FishPish) here is the food you’ve been promised.

TW: being a tad too real for very specific people. Sorry that it's vague, can't exactly explain it better than that.

EDIT: currently while writing chapter 67 as of now I decided to re-read this chapter and found a few discrepancies my itty bitty 14yo self wrote. A couple of minor details have been changed to fit in with the narrative easier. This chapter is around 9 - 10 months old, however I am in the mood to not reread my stuff and cringe so my 3am will now be dedicating to making my fav chapter as enjoyable as possible. This includes pacing issues, character motivations being out of character, and other small details.

Cradling masquerade, for blood intertwines,

But what is led is not truth.

It’s wishes that lie untamed, broken and distilled,

Reed to chalk, chalk to ash.

 

Splinter those, I dare of you.

Apathy is a cage,

Serpentine, cutthroat, begetter it.

Brew the heart, consume the condition.

 

Open the eyes of my vegetation,

Swatted shoreline, trace my mind.

Conglomerate order.

Child of none, disinfectant of the rubicon.

 

Forget and forgotten, two beliefs.

A seed of chaos does not blossom again.

Words are meaningless to it.

Tatter me.

 

---

 

Cicadas and crickets chirped in the morning sunlight, fluttering through Ichika’s  ears as she slid against the mattress. Her eyes fluttered dauntingly, her hands quaking as they stretched outwards. The knight let out a yawn, looking over at her room, pulling the corners of her curtains and bundling them to let in the summer light.

 

Ichika groaned at the pounding sensation in her head, placing a palm to the throbbing. But now was not the time for rest.

 

She had an important mission for herself – understand the truth, and she had two months to do so. Sure, it was a giant amount of time, but with so much already hidden she doubted it would be enough.

 

With a heavy heart, the knight put on her uniform and trotted out of her room, her sword wrapped around her fingers, her hair swaying to every step as she made her way through the castle walls. Everything seemed as per normal – the banners were in place, the carpet was centered, each guard was positioned every couple of corners… but there was something different.

 

Shouting. There was shouting.

 

Ichika’s eyes darted around as she peeked towards the corners. It was the prince who was shouting, with Saki tugging at her brother’s arm to calm down, but she too looked horrified.

 

“Saki? Tsukasa?” Ichika questioned, rushing over to the two. Tsukasa didn’t notice her, while Saki rushed over to her sworn sword.

 

“What happened?” Ichika asked, trying to read Saki’s face, but her emotions didn’t show anything.

 

“Rui Kamishiro… the alchemist… was assassinated.”

 

Ichika almost reeled in shock. “No, surely not,” She questioned. She had never had the closest relationship with him, but she knew he didn’t deserve death.

 

“I-I don’t know what happened. The only mark was a stab wound, a-and none of the guards saw anyone.” Saki muttered frantically, her words twisting as her panic consumed her.

 

Ichika stood in front of Saki, unsheathing her sword. “Are you sure it couldn’t be… her?”

 

“…” Saki’s silence was loud.

 

“We don’t know. We haven’t alerted any of the White knights,” Saki elaborated in a rushed manner, her words combining into one long string, but slow enough that Ichika could understand.

 

“I… I’m so sorry, Ichi-chan.” Saki whispered, holding her hand to her chest, wincing from the guilt. “We could’ve prevented it, stopped it, like my assassination…”

 

“Saki.” Ichika murmured, clutching Saki’s shoulder. “This is not your fault.”

 

“But I’m the princess!” She shouted back, stumbling backwards. “I’m supposed to protect my people. I’m supposed to!”

 

“But you’re only fourteen. It’s the Ki-King’s and Queen’s responsibility.” Ichika reiterated, even if her words were shaky.

 

Saki looked up at Ichika, the princess’ face sopping with tears as her cheeks became puffy. “But I… I should be doing more since I won’t live long enough.”

 

“Even so, that doesn’t mean that you have to take this responsibility.”

 

Saki paused, before wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “You’re right, Ichi-chan, I…” Saki took in a deep breath, and as her eyes zoned out, Ichika took the time to stir the conversation away from any intrusive thoughts.

 

“We should probably leave here and find Hona-chan.” Ichika elaborated, one hand on her sword, the other on Saki’s wrist.

 

“Eh? Ichi-chan, where are we-” Saki began, but her words were cut off with her wild yelps as she and Ichika now sprinted down the hallways.

 

Just find Honami’s room, Ichika told herself, twisting and turning as she made quick work of navigating the area around her.

 

“We’re here.” Ichika settled, letting Saki catch her breath as she walked up to Honami’s quarters. She gave the rustic door a quick knock, hoping that Honami would answer.

 

With the creak of a door and a surprised Honami, Ichika and Saki were let in.

 

“Ichika, Saki, wh-what’s going on?” Honami asked, seeing the strained and hesitant gaze of Ichika and the emotion-filled despair of Saki.

 

“Someone’s been assassinated.” Ichika announced, short and clear. “We… we don’t know who did it.”

 

“Huh?” Honami gasped, her brow furrowed, her gaze splintered from Ichika’s. “…I thought the castle was heavily guarded,” Honami wondered.

 

“Brother h-has probably told the guards,” Saki said between heaves of air and sniffles.

 

“There haven’t been any reported traces. I…” Ichika pained to think it. “I think it’s Shiho.”

 

Honami remained silent, and Saki only continued to break down.

 

“Saki, I await your command.” Ichika bowed, hoping that Saki got the gist.

 

“I-Ichika, don’t hurt Shiho, please,” Saki responded.

 

“What?”

 

Why didn’t she want Shiho to be reprimanded? Ichika thought with a scowl. She most likely caused a full-on assassination.

 

“We don’t know if it’s her, Ichi-chan.” Saki exclaimed, almost begging that Ichika would understand. “She would have already gone for me if that was her goal.”

 

“And how do you know this?”

 

Saki’s mouth shut as Ichika finally began interrogating Saki. It was jarring to both of them, but to Ichika, understanding the truth came first. Shiho didn’t leave just because, nor was she emotionless. And to know that there was a person that had died when Shiho was so young, it must’ve left a mark on her.

 

“Ichika, have I ever told you that my bloodline is cursed?” Saki uttered, almost uncharacteristically serious.

 

Ichika shook her head. “I… I never knew.”

 

“Well, I… my family… are all cursed to live through our worst fears before we die.”

 

Ichika sheathed her sword and softened her gaze, listening attentively to every word.

 

“And Shiho knows about this curse.” Saki sighed.

 

“…She does?” Ichika gasped.

 

Saki gave a slow nod. “A-and Shiho… she only tried to kill me because of this curse. I know it. And now that I’m still alive…”

 

“Shiho tried to… euthanise you?”

 

Saki nodded.

 

“Saki-chan…” Honami whispered, looking at the blonde princess with despair and concern.

 

But to Ichika, something didn’t seem right. Shiho had hesitated, only fatally striking Saki when she got the chance to before fleeing. Shiho wouldn’t’ve hid if she made her intentions clear. She wouldn’t’ve hesitated and given Ichika the chance to save Saki if that was her intent.

 

Ichika did believe that Shiho knew about this curse, or rather, the ‘other person’ that Ichika desperately wanted to know had known about the curse. Otherwise, Saki would’ve told Ichika and Honami as well, since they were her loyal subjects. Hell, Ichika was Saki’s sworn sword, and she still didn’t tell her until now.

 

“Why are you telling us about this curse only now?” Ichika questioned. It pained her to interrogate Saki like this, but she had to. She had to figure out what had truly happened. She didn’t want to be in the dark anymore.

 

“…” Saki paused, her gaze hollow as her tears sunk from her eyelids. Her eyes stared at Ichika as if she were a traitor. “…I wasn’t supposed to tell you. But you… you needed to know.”

 

Ichika frowned. No, that didn’t seem right. “But Shiho. How does she know?”

 

“Ichika-chan,” Honami warned, concerned for both Saki and Ichika. “Shouldn’t you… be kinder to her?”

 

Ichika took a step back. “What are you saying?”

 

“Y-you’re just… overwhelming Saki, a-and I thought that-”

 

“Hona-Chan, are you able to leave for a quick moment? I forgot something in my quarters. Could you get it for me?” Saki asked, waiting for Honami to leave.

 

when Honami did leave, Saki looked down at her hands, then back up at Ichika. Ichika looked back, but there was something that caused Saki to hesitate.

 

A gaze… of distrust and resentment.

 

“Saki…” Ichika stepped forward. “Why are you hiding things from me…?”

 

Saki’s eyes fluttered, her expression pressed as she registered Ichika’s words.

 

And then, her expression dropped, and her eyes grew spiteful.

 

As if Saki was no longer herself.

 

“Ichika, why are you even here?” Saki began; her voice hollow as she loomed over Ichika.

 

“It sounds like you don’t even care for this kingdom.”

 

Ichika blinked again, trying to hide how hurt she was. Was she hurting Saki? She had done everything to keep her safe. Had she done something wrong?

 

Was she going to end up alone again?

 

“I-I’m sorry. I need to go.” Ichika whispered, feeling the lump in her throat throb as she held back her emotions.

 

“I thought you trusted me, Ichi-chan.” Saki muttered, clearly hurt by what Ichika said. “It seems like you… you just want to leave us. Leave me.”

 

“No, I-“

 

“Leave me alone then, Ichika! You don’t understand!” Saki screamed at the top of her lungs, causing Ichika to flinch. “Can’t you just trust me for once? Am I not good enough for you?”

 

Saki’s emotions were vapid, changing like the speed of sound, bombarding her as if everything exploded within the crevices of her mind.

 

I just wanted to understand, Ichika wanted to say. I care so much about you. I didn’t want to hurt you.

 

“Ichika…” Saki whispered, walking up to her with anger brewing. “You know, I knew you never really cared for me,” Saki laughed to block the pain. “You only cared because I was the princess.”

 

Ichika stared at Saki, too stunned to speak.

 

You’re losing her, Ichika’s mind rung. But it’s too late.

 

“You are no longer my sworn sword, Hoshino. Now that I’ve found someone better than you…” Saki’s eyes glared at Ichika with pure hatred.

“…you are nothing more than a worthless pile of garbage.”

 

Ichika’s heart dropped as her world collapsed.

 

“What…!?” Ichika gasped, scowling as she tried to mask the pain. “No, this isn’t real. You’re lying to me… you’re lying to me…!”

 

Saki pulled her hand out, which was draped in golden shards of light. “Stop acting like either of us care and leave!”

 

Ichika ran. Again, Ichika was shunned. Alone.

 

Alone.

 

Ichika cried. Not even words could describe the disparity that lied deep inside her soul as everything around her was painted with fear.

 

Run to hide from the pain. Run to lie and deny. Run to see the end. Run.

 

She was exiled.

 

Ichika ran from the corridors out to one of the gardens, passing her quarters as she sprinted outside the castle. Just go, she told herself. She ran and ran and ran until her legs could not pick her back up.

 

In truth, she wasn’t strong at all. She didn’t fight for anyone. All she wanted was to be less alone. But, despite it all, she chose to befriend people who didn’t need to choose her. She was simply the second option, the other friend. The one who would be discarded.

 

Was it because she was bland? Because she didn’t do anything of worth? Because all she did was be quiet and bring people down? Because she was inexperienced with a sword?

 

She knew that she’d keep waiting, wanting to find someone she could devote herself to. But in the past few days, she learnt about things that Saki had kept from her for years. And now with Honami, Saki didn’t need Ichika.

 

“They don’t need me,” Ichika whispered. Her heart throbbed at the realisation, even if it was futile. “And I’ll… I’ll always be alone.”

 

Ichika sat atop the grassy hill she found herself in, resting next to a cherry blossom tree. There, she would cry. She would sob and scream and beg and yell. Where her emotions would wrap against her and finally be let out. Where she could speak without anyone else knowing.

 

“Am I the fool?” She exclaimed, letting out her anger. “Why am I still here? Why…” her voice faded out when she saw someone standing right in front of her, just as teary-eyed as her.

 

“…Ichika?” A familiar voice, except different. One that cared. One that was just as alone as her.

 

Ichika fell to the ground, breaking down as she crumpled. “Why… why are you not…!” Ichika begged, her tears streaming down her face. “Why aren’t you trying to kill me! I… I want you to kill me!”

 

Instead of drawing her sword, Shiho sat next to her.

 

“No.” Shiho responded, confusion lacing her words. “I… never wanted to kill you. I never wanted to come here again.”

 

”what…?” Ichika looked up from her tear-blurred gaze to notice… kindness.

 

why is she being kind to me, after everything?

 

“Why are you here?” Shiho asked, keeping her distance, but still bringing so much comfort to Ichika.

 

Ichika really didn’t have a choice, did she?

 

“Saki, She…” Ichika cleared her throat, wiping her tears. “E-ever since you arrived, I’ve learnt things that she’s kept from me.” Ichika began.

 

“I… I realised that I didn’t mean anything to her.”

 

Shiho, despite her tense mannerisms, let out a chuckle of laughter. “She’s cast you out, like she did to me.”

 

“What? But you… you tried to assassinate her out of nowhere.” Ichika rebutted.

 

“…” Shiho’s breathing hitched. “I… never wanted to.” Shiho remarked, pausing before adding; “but I only did what I did to fulfil the promise I made.”

 

“Is this about the curse?” Ichika asked. Maybe Saki wasn’t lying after all.

 

“Kind of. It was about the person who cursed her bloodline. Or rather… the descendant.”

 

Ichika blinked, eager to listen. The way Shiho’s spoke, the way her words felt so real compared to Saki’s façade that made Ichika trust the white knight, if only for a moment.

 

“The descendant?” Ichika asked.

 

“The one Saki had murdered in cold blood. The one… that only wanted forgiveness. And Saki didn’t believe her. She… killed her.”

 

Tears prickled Shiho’s eyes, made as small reflections of her humanity. Reflections of the true answers. But they didn’t last for long, as Shiho buried her emotions amongst the waves of pain she had suffered through.

 

There it was – the truth. The thing Ichika was trying to find. The truth that was always out of reach, now being spoken by the one she thought she hated.

 

But did she truly hate Shiho?

 

“I shouldn’t have told you about this,” Shiho realised, turning her gaze away from Ichika as she wiped her tears. Shiho’s body quaked as she looked over at Ichika, her frantic movement causing the sworn sword to simply look up in surprise. “Shit, I should’ve known you’d just tell that damned princess.” Shiho exclaimed. With panic etched across every movement, Shiho silently begged to herself, her mind tainted with regret.

 

It was in that moment that something in Ichika snapped. Shiho felt so… human. She was no monster, she was traumatised. Shiho was a knight without a home to go to, lost, forever searching for the shelter to the rain. Ichika felt this pain in the deepest crevices of her heart, like a pulse that radiated through her. She wanted to be that shelter, that person that Shiho could trust.

 

Ichika stood up, gripping Shiho’s wrist.

 

“No…!” Ichika begged, tugging at Shiho’s wrist.

 

”It doesn’t matter if I’m allied to the Tenma kingdom, or that I’m some sworn sword, or that I’m nothing more than a sheltered creation of those damned nobles. To hell with those people!” Ichika yelled, begging to the grey-haired girl. But she didn’t turn her head.

 

“I know I can’t be forgiven. I know that you don’t trust me – I wouldn’t either. I…” Ichika swallowed back tears. Tell her how you feel, Ichika.

 

“I’m so sorry, Shiho, I should’ve never been hostile to you, or yelled at you, or, hell, threatened you.” She screamed out. “I fucked up. I… I…”

 

You’re losing her.

 

“I don’t want anyone else to leave me, Shiho!” Ichika screeched, hopelessly pleading for Shiho to truly feel the same feelings that she felt. “I don’t want to be alone again… please…”

 

“What…?” Shiho uttered breathlessly. “But you… you wanted to kill me.”

 

Ichika wiped the tears from her eyelids, looking at Shiho desperately. “I never wanted to kill you. I… I was afraid of you, Shiho, by the gods I was so afraid that I wished I never spoke to you.”

 

“…but what about Saki? Were you afraid for her sake?”

 

“She was the only thing I had left, and I…”

 

Ichika’s eyes blotched out with tears, her body shaking as she gripped onto Shiho’s hand. She felt her insides tear open as her mind flooded, after years of waiting for someone. Someone who would stay.

 

She thought that person was Saki. She thought that, if she was good enough, that the princess would favour her. That a royal would be the person she needed.

 

But Saki wasn’t the person. Saki was a cage, while fancy and luxurious, trapping Ichika into a box. But now, Ichika knew who the person she needed was.

 

Ichika had struggled every day, battling the loneliness that came from fear. The fear of being left behind. She stayed with Saki because she knew that she’d never want to end up alone. But Saki didn’t care.

 

And now, she was the one being left behind. The one who was tossed deeper inside the cage in favour for a new bird who could fly.

 

The fear was no longer, for instead, all Ichika felt was anger. Anger at Saki, anger at the kingdom, and anger at herself. Her sword was merely a reminder of her pathetic existence.

 

Ichika unsheathed her sword and screamed, tossing it with as much force as she could muster.

 

“Every day I live in this- this hell! I’m tired of this! All I’ve wanted- all I’ve been waiting for in my godforsaken life is to not be alone anymore! I just want someone who wants me!”

 

“…” shiho looked up at Ichika.

 

“Why me…?” Shiho uttered in surprise. “Why are you suddenly caring… about me…?”

 

Ichika gripped Shiho’s arm tighter. “Because you… you care for me, after everything I’ve done.”

 

Shiho paused. “I’m sorry if this is a selfish ask, but what has Saki told you about me?”

 

Ichika complied immediately. “Saki, that hypocritical bastard, she told me not to hurt you. I don’t know why. But I will figure it out, no matter what.”

 

Shiho’s eyes widened, filling with horror. “She’s…” Her expression filled with stern commitment. “Ichika, you’ll put your life in risk. You know that, right?”

 

“Yes.” Ichika replied. There wasn’t anything, anything that could change ichika’s mind.

 

“…” Shiho’s gaze was lost in contemplation, her head low as she thought. Ichika grabbed onto Shiho’s other wrist and pulled herself closer as an act of fealty. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember me. I… I won’t leave you again. Ever.”

 

“Even if I’ve done some messed up shit?”

 

“You’re only human, Shiho. Regardless of what happened, there’s always a reason to everything.”

 

“…” shiho paused. “Even if I’ve… killed people?”

 

“Even if you’ve killed someone, I won’t betray you.”

 

“…” Shiho smiled for the first time, her emerald eyes glinting in joy that could never be manufactured. Like the first clearance after the rain, the white knight, traumatised and frightened as she was, let the blood of the past wash away from her feet. For she, the one two scared to love, found someone.

 

Ichika smiled back, after waiting to find someone who reciprocated her care after years of patience. She had laid in wait, trapped within her mindlessness, now extending her hand to take in the truth. The truth that hid from her, now standing in front.

 

“You chose me, the one who almost assassinated your princess…” Shiho blinked, letting her tears fall. “You… chose me. Huh.”

 

The weeds flickered in the sunlight as the two battle heroines understood their goals, for their lives were interwoven by the constellations of the gods. A constellation now bloomed brightly, right above the two, dazzling in the stars.

 

But the storm… it was always there. The battles, the blood, the tears. And the two of them had to brave it.

 

“Thank you… so much. I’m indebted to you, Shiho.” Ichika smiled.

 

She found someone.

 

Little did Shiho know that Ichika’s feelings for her new comrade were different. For, despite it all… finding Shiho had brought light that she herself couldn’t possibly imagine. Ichika Hoshino, the girl who once tried to sever the white knight’s throat… loved Shiho.

Notes:

Me: the poem is cool foreshadowing!

Also me: how the hell would anyone decrypt it though

I'm ngl, the line 'She was no monster, she was traumatised' goes so hard. I cooked with that one. may have accidentally burnt myself doing so, whoopsies #traumadumpcentral

Chapter 17

Notes:

This chapter is super long, like 4.6K words long. It was supposed to be two chapters, but I've written way too many shiho-pov two parters, so I thought hey, why not just combine the chapters. If you like worldbuilding, this is for you :)

Also If you'd let me yap for a bit abt the JP servers of PJSK, I think i got the opposite reaction from Mizu5 as everyone else's. For context, I'm quite open about being trans on this app, cause somehow I trust y'all. But before I did come out, I was in a relationship that forced me to stay in the closet because of the person I was with being transphobic. So to see Ena's reaction in Mizu5 be the way that it was, was just so comforting. Not only that, but the way Mizuki reacted felt so... personal. I've been through a lot of situations that cause reactions like that, and the way Mizuki's character perfectly represents the trans and mentally ill communities is just wonderful. While the event reminded me of the time before I came out, knowing PJSK and Niigo's main theme being finding hope in despair, I know that Mizu5 was (and is) the first stepping stone. Not only this, but the blindfold on Mizuki's face to me represents how her fear is blinding her. And to me, Mizuki's, no, every single character in PJSK having flaws and imperfections makes them some of the most memorable characters in the whole of fiction.

Thank you for listening to my ted talk on 'how to yap correctly'.

Shiho’s eyes narrowed as a familiar place drew closer, with her new comrade behind her. Every time the grey-haired knight turned her head, her heart filled with panic, before settling. She had to get used to seeing her.

 

The gravel squelched and rippled beneath Shiho’s feet, the clouds a dreary grey. Her breaths heaved in and out as the rain she knew quite well pattered against her shoulders.

 

“Ichika, have you ever seen any runes or tomes before?” Shiho asked the other knight, whose head tipped upwards in surprise.

 

“N-no, I… gods this is embarrassing,” The azure-haired girl turned bright red. Shiho didn’t understand what was so humiliating about not understanding – there would always be an opportunity to learn if someone’s open to it.

 

“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to.”

 

Shiho leaned down on the gravel, taking a handful. “Where I’m from specialises in mages. As the captain of the knights, I had to learn about tomes and spells and synergies…” Shiho let out a groan of annoyance at the mere thought. “They think that just because we’re built off mage history doesn’t mean everyone has to learn it.”

 

“Yeah,” Ichika added with passion. “Things change, but people are always stuck in their ways.” She sighed.

 

The grey-haired knight gave an intrigued look towards her companion’s response. “Were you taught like that too?” she asked with a scowl to her brow.

 

Ichika flinched in surprise, embarrassed. “I-I uh, well, don’t really enjoy… blade-work. I know, I’m a knight and all…” Ichika looked up to see Shiho’s surprised gaze, which caused her to recoil in shame. “Never mind, it’s stupid, I-”

 

“-it’s not stupid to explain yourself.” Shiho replied bluntly, giving Ichika a genuine gaze of care.

 

The azure haired knight shuddered, her eyes hollowly staring at the ground, her face intoxicated by shadows as she whispered; “But the last time I did…”

 

Shiho rested her hand that didn’t have gravel atop Ichika’s shoulder. “You do not get to think that your defence is meaningless just because some dickwad thought it’d be a good idea to fuck with you. Here in the White alliance, no one is judged.”

 

Ichika tilted her head up, her deep blue eyes sparkling with surprise. No words were spoken, but Shiho understood simply from Ichika’s gaze how appreciative she was of her grey-haired comrade. Of her friend.

 

Shiho turned her attention back to the gravel in front of her. Right. Gotta put my memory to good use.

 

“Would you like to see a rune, then?” Shiho asked, letting the gravel sift through her fingers, laying atop her skin. Ichika nodded her head in a curious manner, if a bit confused.

 

Shiho looked at the gravel in her hand, heaving in a breath of air. Just remember what you did the last time, Shiho. No pressure.

 

“Rheit jesketh mouri ou,” Shiho chanted, opening her eyes to see flickers of deep blue light reflect off the gravel, before melting into specs of steel. She pulled out her sword, which was blunt from training, and began to massage the metal into her blade.

 

“Whoa,” Ichika exclaimed with delight, her eyes sparkling at the sight of the reformation that coincided with words.

 

“Do you want me to fix your blade?” Shiho prompted.

 

“I-I’m all good,” Ichika responded, but her expression still showed off her curiosity towards the basic spell Shiho performed.

 

“I thought magic was like alchemy, or science, but this,” Ichika motioned towards Shiho’s hand, “is not what I expected.”

 

“I’m not surprised,” Shiho murmured. “Tenma residents are forbidden to even ask about magic. Almost all people who were involved with the arts would be executed or exiled. Hence… the white alliance.”

 

“Alliance?” Ichika questioned.

 

“’Founded by a light mage and a swordswoman, striving to protect the lost and prejudiced in a city encased in snow’.” Shiho quoted. “The kingdom is built off of a system that favours someone’s talents than their upbringing. An alliance built off the silenced and the forbidden, combining swordsmanship of other techniques and spells together.” Shiho explained, If a bit over the top. “Shizuku and I went there to get rid of our old lives. Mostly cause I started to get horrible hallucinations and Sis’ life was threatened.”

 

“You… were originally from Tenma?” Ichika questioned softly.

 

“Yeah. Our parents were nomads, and just… dropped us off at the nearest civilisation. The two of us were… different than others.”

 

Shiho took in a deep breath. Right. It’s okay.

 

“It’s kind of weird to think about it now, but Shizuku had a deep affinity to water runes and spells. She found a tucked away group of people – Mages – who practiced in secret. Sis, being sis, brought me there, and I met Miu.”

 

“She was a dark mage. Born with violence in her blood that she hated. All she wanted to do in life was let go of her instincts and live life as a light mage.” Shiho sighed, gripping her clothes tightly. “I… I told her that she could…” Shiho swallowed.

 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Ichika noticed, grabbing the knight’s wrist. “You don’t need to prove yourself to me, or tell me anything. …I said I’d support you no matter what, and that hasn’t changed.”

 

Shiho looked up at the azure-haired girl, her determined gaze bringing solace to the emotionally unstable knight.

 

“Right.” Shiho nodded, sheathing her sword since the metal had cooled.

 

Ichika took a look up at the clouds, her hair swaying beneath the gales of wind, her hands kept to her chest as she stared out. “I… I don’t know who my parents were, either.” She uttered, her voice low.

 

“They were warriors, from what I heard, who fought in the war. Their last request to the Tenmas was to keep me safe. So… I spent most of my time in a small town near the castle with my adopted parents, before being told the truth.”

 

Ichika laughed bittersweetly. “My story isn’t as interesting as yours, but I… I understand the feeling of not knowing your family. For the longest time, I wanted to follow their footsteps. I mean, I got my position as sworn sword because of them. But… I never really got to experience other things because of it.”

 

Ichika smiled at Shiho with a melancholy look. “If you never showed up, I probably would never truly known my path.”

 

“You give me too much credit.” Shiho sighed. “All I’ve done is drag you in with my life, and somehow, you’re still here.”

 

“I’m here because I want to.”

 

“Ichika, you’ve been exiled. There wasn’t really many options.”

 

“But I chose you, not any other White Knight.”

 

Shiho, baffled that she couldn’t respond, just sighed again. She’ll leave eventually when her dedication wears off.

 

“Damn it.” Shiho noticed, feeling a sprinkle of droplets fall from the sky. “We need to head back to the castle.”

 

“Shiho-chan, I…” Ichika turned, her eyes flooded with panic, her body language urgent as she fumbled to find an answer.

 

“Don’t worry. I’m used to sneaking things in the Tenma domain.” Shiho reaffirmed, despite Ichika’s worry. “If I don’t head back, I’d basically be betraying my country. And Momoi. But mostly my country.” Shiho elaborated.

 

“Momoi? The battle strategist?”

 

“Don’t tell me she told you she was a battle strategist,” Shiho groaned. “She’s a part of the cultural aspects and education department in the White alliance.”

 

“That strangely fits her,” Ichika murmured, before picking up the pace and following Shiho to the castle.

 

After a moment passed, Shiho began drafting her way to get Ichika inside the castle. And this meant she needed to ask some fairly guarded and personal questions.

 

“Is the role of the sworn sword redrafted the next day after the role has been dismissed?” Shiho asked.

 

“I think so,” Ichika confirmed, but her weary answer made Shiho hesitate.

 

“However, the kingdom is lenient when it comes to old troops coming back into areas of their old roles for a period of time.” Ichika added, giving more evidence to back up her claim.

 

“Are you sure about that?” Shiho questioned.

 

“Yes. It was on one of the law books I had to research when gaining my position. It’s an act of honouring the person’s work.”

 

Shiho continued to pace herself as the rain sped up, but by the information she was gathering, there was a high chance that they didn’t need to sneak in.

 

“But are these laws upheld if someone is exiled?”

 

Ichika’s silence was enough for Shiho to gather her answer. With the scowl of her brow and her tense figure, her options remained limited.

 

“Shiho…?” Ichika prodded, her voice meek as she walked, her eyes tucked away from the knight next to her. “What if I enter the castle not as Ichika Hoshino, but as someone else?”

 

“What do you mean?” Shiho huffed out, unable to understand what she meant. Did she know shapeshifting runes?

 

“What if… I take a new identity? Change my name, my hair, my uniform…” Ichika’s voice hushed out from the pattering rainfall and the stormy clouds.

 

A clap of thunder thrashed across the two knight’s eardrums, sending panic rippling through the clouds.

 

“Shit! W-we need to get shelter!” Ichika exclaimed, the skies now painted with an insatiably gloomy grey looming over the two.

 

Shiho, alarmed at the sudden change of weather and the possible chance of lightning, grunted in response. There was no need for small-talk.

 

As the clouds drew darker, Shiho took it upon herself to grab Ichika’s wrist and run straight towards the castle, despite the guards that she’d obviously find lurking about.

 

The two managed to find their ways to the outer entrance of the castle, almost inside. Guards flocked the perimeter and some even noticed the two, but didn’t bat an eye. The storm was what they were worried about, after all.

 

As the two knights finally rested underneath a solid roof, they made haste towards the castle. Ichika gave Shiho a weary yet determined look, and Shiho took her hand off of the azure-eyed knight.

 

“Head inside. I’ll tell Momoi that I’ve arrived safely. Just… stay undercover until I find you.” Shiho explained, her face soaked with water, but she couldn’t care less about her appearance.

 

“Got it.” Ichika responded with a nod, pushing the hair out of her fringe that was drenched in water. With the plan in place, Ichika sprinted past the corner, entering the castle, leaving Shiho to do her part.

 

Shiho dashed across the outer rim of the castle entrance, sleuthing past the gazes of the guards until she could make it to where Airi would be – the smaller entrance tucked to the corner of the castle, where few guards passed through. Shiho remembered Airi telling her that she’d be waiting there until she got back from her expedition as a precaution, and to alert her when Shiho was eventually done. But Shiho underestimated the time it would take to get there.

 

I should’ve shown Ichika where my room is and then reported to Airi, Shiho realised. She wanted to run back, but there wasn’t anything she could do now. She just had to go to where Airi was, tell her she was safe, and find Ichika.

 

Out of breath and panicked, Shiho finally made it through the entrance, seeing a concerned Momoi in the corner of her eye.

 

“Oh, thank Miku you got here in time,” Momoi exclaimed, sighing with relief. “I have-”

 

“-Sorry, I got to go.” Shiho dismissed, sprinting right past the pink-haired girl. She knew she’d regret it later, but for now, her mission was to find Ichika before it was too late.

 

Shiho ran past the corridors, trying to find Ichika, but every corner she took, the more hopeless she became. Every step was daunting, every breath was futile, and every time she looked over, she was filled with disappointment. Just find her, Shiho told herself, but despite her insistent nature, it didn’t help one bit.

 

The clunking of Shiho’s uniform was all that was heard as she passed through each and every area she could. Her panic began to turn to doubt as she rushed her way though the castle she had barely any understanding in. All she wanted was to see just a hint of blue in the corner of her eyes, just a sliver of-

 

There, standing dazed and confused, was the familiar sight of Ichika, her blue eyes tracing Shiho’s gaze with relief.

 

Shiho sprinted to Ichika, letting herself indulge in a small smile. “Alright, now step two.” Shiho started, gaining an acknowledged nod from her companion. “I’ll take you to my quarters, and you can put on my spare uniform.” Shiho explained.

 

“Ready?” “…Ready.”

 

Shiho speedwalked her way through the corridors, trying to find somewhere familiar, until she finally did. Ichika, while confused on the path she was taking, continued walking about two steps behind Shiho. The two managed to finally get to their destination, if only getting a few confused looks from the guards.

 

Shiho let Ichika inside quickly, realising it was perfect time, since the guards were changing their shifts and neither of them would get caught. And with the shut of the door, the mission was a success.

 

“…Thank you so much, Shiho.” Ichika remarked, wrapping her hands around the grey-haired girl, pulling her close.

 

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Shiho sighed, but didn’t reject the embrace. “Seriously, it’s basic human decency to make sure others are safe. No warriors leave without their comrades.”

 

“But I’m an enemy.”

 

“No, you used to be an enemy. We are comrades. Besides, you seriously don’t think that you’re not a member of the White alliance now?”

 

Ichika blinked in surprise. “You’re… inviting me to be a part of the White knights?” Ichika huffed out with wide eyes.

 

“Well I… guess I am.” Shiho realised. “The alliance was built on the exiled, after all.”

 

Ichika stared at Shiho in shock, until her face turned to the expression of admiration. “You really are a good person, Shiho.”

 

Now, Shiho was surprised. “What?”

 

Ichika chuckled to herself, her cheeks painted a rose colour as she smiled. “You should give yourself some credit. You’re the captain of the White knights, the person, who despite everything, is still here today.”

 

“I’m proud of you, Shiho.”

 

Shiho’s heart skipped a beat, her emerald eyes hazed with surprise. It wasn’t normal for Shiho to hear someone praise her, let alone say they were proud of her. She wasn’t used to the attention, not when everyone around her seemingly had a grudge against her.

 

“Do you… really mean that?” Shiho asked, tensing her body automatically as a defence mechanism.

 

“Always. You… you are an incredible person. You stand up for what you believe in, you put yourself at risk for others, and you’d do anything for the people you care about. …You are more than just the commander of the White Knights.”

 

Tears began to well in Shiho’s eyes, her throat throbbing as she repeated the words over and over in her head. She was speechless, unable to move.

 

Shiho didn’t care if it was a lie anymore. If she got betrayed, so be it. Nothing could replace the warmth that was brought to her heart.

 

“Thank you…” Shiho whispered breathlessly, her emerald eyes gazing with hope as the Azure knight next to her showed such compassion. “Thank you.” Shiho uttered with more passion in her voice.

 

Ichika chuckled lightly, her eyes sparkling with contentment. Shiho couldn’t feel more at ease with someone she used to be enemies with.

 

“Alright, I’ll need to get changed now,” Ichika chuckled awkwardly, looking around to find Shiho’s spare uniform. Luckily it wasn’t her captain uniform and was just the regular knights’ attire.

 

“It’s just in the bag over there. It’s the uniform with the red and blue accents.” Shiho elaborated. “I don’t have an extra sword packed, or scabbard, so you may have to buy one.”

 

“It’s alright, I’ll find a broken one in the treasury and repair it,” Ichika replied. “Th-that is, if you’re able to repair it,”

 

“Sure, that’s okay. But we can get to that when returning your current sword.” Shiho explained, sitting atop her bed, flicking through one of her pocket books filled with minor spells. If Ichika is gonna become a White Knight, she’ll have to learn a couple of these. I’ll teach them later. She thought.

 

“How does it look?” Ichika asked, prodding her way over to Shiho. The grey-haired girl put her book down and took a good look.

 

“Your hair will get tangled on this shoulder area.” Shiho realised. “We’ll need to cut it.”

 

Ichika looked down sheepishly. “Goodness, It’s been a while since I cut it short,” She mumbled embarrassedly.

 

“That’s okay, I’ve learnt a thing or two from my sister. She designs the uniforms and the ‘etiquette’. She’s taught me how to cut hair with a sword since… the last time.”

 

“Huh?” Ichika looked up, but Shiho’s embarrassment was unable to be contained. Her face was red and her eyebrows were knit in shame.

 

“I… er, well…” Shiho murmured, taking a deep breath before speaking. “I cut my hair once, and it didn’t go too well.” Shiho huffed out.

 

A light laugh escaped Ichika’s lips. “Oh no, that must’ve been horrible,” She consoled, but the amusement on her face told a different story.

 

“It was fixed,” Shiho explained, hoping to remedy the conversation. “Yes, Sis fixed it, but she taught me how to cut hair after that.”

 

Despite how much Shiho tried to give context, the smirk on Ichika’s face did not fade. “Look, it was three years ago, I did a lot of stupid things when I was eleven.”

 

“Three years ago?” Ichika queried.

 

“We’re getting off track,” Shiho retorted. “We’re here to cut your hair. How low would you like the length to be?”

 

“As short as you’d like. As long as I’m unrecognisable to the regular guards, y’know?” Ichika specified, sitting on the edge of Shiho’s bed.

 

With that request in mind, Shiho began to weave her blade through Ichika’s hair, like the fresh reeds she’d cut with Shizuku. In and out, she chanted, bringing herself back to that time on the marsh, where she carefully analysed every cut. In and out.

 

Shiho watched as the deep blue hair of Ichika’s fell to the edge of her bed, the silky bands of hair slowly coming to shape with each of Shiho’s precise movements. Now for the scissors, Shiho told herself, fishing out Shizuku’s spare ‘freshen up pouch’. The blue haired sister had given the pouch to Shiho when the knight came out to Shizuku. A ‘just in case your identity is messing with you’ kind of pouch, in Shizuku’s words.

 

The scissors glided through Ichika’s hair, making unique layers, until all of the finishing touches were done. Shiho smiled proudly, despite Ichika not seeing it.

 

“Alright, we’re done with the hair,” Shiho explained to Ichika, leaving the former to comb her hair through her fingers, before looking over in the mirror on the wall near Shiho’s bed.

 

Ichika’s azure eyes widened at her sudden new look. “It looks… beautiful, Shiho!” Shiho smiled. “I love it!” Ichika exclaimed excitedly, her face lit up like stars.

 

“I’m glad you like it, but I think there’ll be a meeting soon,” Shiho murmured. Because I killed someone.

 

“Oh. Right.” Ichika whispered beneath her breath. “They’re probably gonna blame it on you.” Ichika hissed.

 

“Yeah,” Shiho sighed, not disclosing if it was her or not. The guilt continued to weigh onto Shiho, but she couldn’t help but breathe in a shaky breath.

 

In the back of her mind, where her blood ran cold, where her deepest hallucinations were created, she knew. She knew that she killed him, that she was the murderer. That she’d have to keep her mouth shut in order to not get a bounty on her head.

 

Shiho let out a shiver, shoving her thoughts to the back of her skull. No. They’d never figure it out without the evidence. “Whatever happens, happens.”

 

“You don’t need to be scared,” Ichika remarked, her face filled with concern. “I know it’s a lot to handle being falsely accused. I may have not been through something like it, but-”

 

A knock on Shiho’s door shut Ichika’s words to a halt, causing her to scurry behind the bedframe to hide herself. Shiho looked at the door and opened it up, and to her surprise, it was Yoisaki.

 

“Sorry, Hinomori… but we have been called.” The heiress remarked, her silver hair draping against her face as she adjusted her uniform.

 

“What for?” Shiho scowled, even though she already knew the answer. Act natural, she told herself.

 

“An… assassination. Princess Saki’s sworn sword has murdered someone.”

 

Shiho’s heart dropped.

 

“No,” She whispered, her emotions now fully genuine as she paced backwards. “No, that’s-”

 

“I’m so sorry, but we can’t talk about it here. I… I just wanted to tell you what happened. All of them are waiting for you,” Yoisaki explained, her voice meek. “I hope I’m not forcing you, It’s just that-”

 

“I understand.” Shiho nodded before Yoisaki could finish. The crystalline eyes of the heiress splashed with surprise, before settling. “Please, come with me.”

 

Shiho turned around, looking for Ichika, who was skillfully hidden. Shiho let out a shaky exhale, her eyes dragging from the ground. “Alright.” She murmured, but her heart couldn’t stop beating.

 

Had Saki already turned the tides? First, Me, then Ichika? Shiho realised, shutting the door behind her. She made sure to stay two steps behind Yoisaki, keeping her composure. But she isn’t a liar, she just hides the truth. That’s all she does. Shiho frowned.

 

I thought I’d get accused. I killed him! Shiho grappled, her panic quivering her body, her hands shaking as she holstered her fingers against her sheath. Her neck craned around, trying to find anything of substance, but looking around never seemed to help when the real issue was the lack of information.

 

Saki concealed both mine and Miu’s cases, Shiho reminded herself. Besides, Ichika’s parents were known warriors. And she only left her kingdom because they exiled her.

 

Each step caused Shiho to tense up, hesitating if she was making the right choice leaving Ichika alone. She knew that Ichika was capable, but without a sword, or training in runes, her chances were futile. But would anyone check Shiho’s room? I mean, they are entitled to our rooms, Shiho remembered. But would anyone recognise Ichika? She looks completely different.

 

Shiho stepped into the second tier of the castle, where most of the important people roamed. Shiho looked around and saw in the middle of the tier was her fellow people and the Tenmas, all gathered round a tactics board, almost pitch silent.

 

“Hinomori, Yoisaki. Sit down.” Muttered one of the higher-listed guards. Both Shiho and the heiress took their places on the table, where Airi sat next to Shiho.

 

“You… were right.” Momoi whispered. “That Hoshino girl, she… she’s a murderer.”

 

“Ehem,” exclaimed Tsukasa, the prince, who stood up to get everyone’s attention. His eyes were hazed with shadows, and his movements weren’t as in-your-face as usual.

 

“We are here to discuss the assassination of Ka-” The prince braced himself, pulling his emotions together. “Kamishiro Rui, a-and… the betrayal of Hoshino Ichika, who assassinated him.”

 

“How do you know she assassinated him?” Shiho shouted, her hands looming over the table, her back arched. “And how do you know that it was an assassination?” Shiho spat back.

 

“Hinomori,” Airi hissed, her gaze panicked and weary. But Shiho didn’t care.

 

“He was found dead with a stab wound.” Replied Akito, whose eyes were lost in contemplation. “No one was found outside or entering. No one except Hoshino.”

 

Shiho wanted to rebuttal, but she weighed herself down. She needed to remain calm, and take everything in. She needed to know what they knew.

 

“Her sword was found in the room of the assassination.” Elaborated a girl with strikingly short blue hair. “And in the Tenma kingdom, we have no light refractors.” She elaborated.

 

Shit, Shiho realised. An illusionist, maybe? But… there was too much evidence pointing to Ichika. But couldn’t someone refract and manually create a sword using light

 

“How do you know it wasn’t self-defense?” Shiho remarked, scowling at the associations.

 

“I know it was her,” Saki spoke up with a shaky voice. “Because… she told me. A-and I… I wouldn’t betray my country.”

 

Shiho’s eyes widened in fury. This bitch!

 

“We know you hated her, Hinomori, but now is not the time.” Akito snapped, “Sit back down.” He groaned.

 

Shiho did as she was told, even if she wanted to scream at all of them. Just keep silent, she told herself. Just keep silent.

 

“What we brought you here for is if any of you have seen Hoshino. We… I cannot let anyone else die. We don’t want to put any of your lives at risk.” Tsukasa warned, his throat almost about to break into tears.

 

“Tsukasa-Kun…” Emu whimpered, her eyes sunken and lost. The blonde looked up, his eyes’ remaining sparkle was devoted to Emu. “I’m sorry. My emotions are getting the better of me.”

 

“I haven’t seen Hoshino anywhere.” Airi answered, turning to Shiho. “Neither have I,” Shiho added.

 

“W-we’ve got detectives on it.” Explained a girl with orange-brown hair and snowdrop-like eyes, her body shaking briefly.

 

“I… haven’t,” Yoisaki whispered, but her gaze was directed to the person who greeted the white knights into the kingdom – Mafuyu Asahina. Her gaze was lost in thought, and ultimately intimidating. She had short purple hair instead of her fluffy regular ponytail.

 

“Damn it,” Huffed Akito, who turned to Saki with a concerned scowl. “Princess Saki, where did you last see the assassin?” He questioned, growing impatient.

 

“She… she left. She ran away. I…” Saki stuttered, closing her eyes to soothe her overwhelm. “I’m so sorry. This is my fault.”

 

Shiho bit her tongue, her hands gripping on the hilt of her sword. If you weren’t a royal, and I wasn’t near my people, I’d kill you on the spot. Shiho reminded herself. But I’m smarter than fighting nonsensically.

 

“I’m sorry that we have just wasted your time,” Momoi returned with a hooded look on her face, draped with disappointment. “I know you’re here to ensure our safety, but we can’t change the hand we’ve been dealt.” She reminded the Tenma officials, who all gave their silent responses.

 

“If you ever see the assassin, please do not be afraid to tell us. This applies to everyone.” Tsukasa sighed, his expression weary. “I’m so sorry, everyone.” He whispered beneath his breath.

 

“You are all dismissed.” Muttered the undeniably shaken up tone of Akito, who was speaking on Tsukasa’s behalf. Shiho pulled herself together, seeing each member of the table disperse, until Airi finally pulled the grey-haired knight aside to a more closed location.

 

“I shouldn’t’ve doubted you,” Airi started, her tone dim, her eyes looking down at the ground. “I… didn’t realise that it would come to this.”

 

“Momoi, why do you sound like you’re gonna risk something?” Shiho scowled.

 

“Look,” Airi huffed, waving her hands about in defiance, but there was a hint of despair that twisted her emotions. “I just wanted to say I won’t monitor wherever you go anymore.” She sighed. “I know Shizuku told me to watch you, but you’re clearly capable.”

 

“Don’t patronise me,” Shiho glared. “But thanks, Momoi.”

 

“Call me Airi. You don’t need to be so formal all the time.” She joked, her lips striking a crescent; her eyes illuminated if a bit distortedly so.

 

Shiho nodded and left, making her way to her chambers. Don’t mess things up, she told herself. Don’t do something you’ll regret. You have to protect Ichika.

 

Maybe, if she was lucky after the coronation, she’d be able to see both herself and Ichika alive.

 

Maybe.

Notes:

Sometimes I forget that I haven't mentioned things in the story yet because of how much I've planned that chapters like these just become second nature to me and not bombshells of lore because I've known about the lore but I haven't talked about it yet and then it becomes this big cycle and I'm sitting here wondering if I mentioned what Shiho's favorite flower is or something because I forgot to add it (Please authors tell me if you relate it can't be just me)

Also if you're wondering about the subtle LGBT referencing for Shiho, I usually handle it like this: Once the character comes out during a scene in the presentation of the story than a flashback, the pronouns, appearance, sexuality etc. changes. Like how in my Kitty AU fic for Mizuki (It all ties back to Mizuki guys) I changed her pronouns after she came out in the story from chapter 19, using a mix of They/them and She/her, to then changing from chapter 20 to only she/her pronouns. It's a thing I do with all my fics and books because a lot of people seem to misrepresent serious topics like these, and I don't want to be looped in with them. Hope this helps!!

Chapter 18

Notes:

You're very welcome for the food, Ichishiho lovers.

          Ichika’s eyes lit up with anticipation as the door of Shiho’s chambers began to creak, leaving her both startled and relieved when the person she was awaiting for had managed to get her way through safely.

 

          A warm feeling wrapped around Ichika’s chest as the grey haired girl sat against her bedframe, her illustriously glittering emerald eyes sunken and tired. She’s gorgeous, Ichika thought, admiring her knight from the floor.

 

          “Ichika, things aren’t looking too good for you,” Shiho huffed out, her eyes filled with worry, her aching body resting atop her mattress. “They… they’ve found too much ‘evidence’. But I know its fake.”

 

          “…” Ichika frowned; lost in thought. She let out a sigh of confusion, trying to grapple onto her current reality. “I… I hate that we can’t do anything.” She mumbled, twiddling her thumbs as she sat on the ground.

 

          “Don’t be too mad about it.” Shiho reaffirmed, but she did share the same frustration. “Honestly, it’s better this way. Now, we can prepare.”

 

          “I know, but it’s… weird.” Ichika groaned, rubbing her tired eyes. “I thought that being on the run would be different, but I have more free time than I did before.”

 

          Shiho let out a small chuckle, her eyes looming over her bedframe gently. “I mean, when you’re not constantly working, or on edge every day of your life…”

 

          “Honestly, I don’t know why I even stayed,” Ichika sighed out, letting her regret simmer. “But now I can do whatever I feel like.”

 

          “I guess you stayed out of guilt.” Shiho theorised, her eyes blank.

 

          “Yeah, I…” Ichika paused, her mind dimming as she thought. She didn’t want to admit that she wasted seven years of her life. She didn’t want to realise that it was her fault, too.

 

          “Hey, Ichika, don’t beat yourself up about it.” Shiho uttered, catching Ichika out of her gaze.

 

          “Sorry,” She mumbled, but Shiho didn’t seem to take it as an answer.

 

          “You were roped in someone else’s battles, and the person you sided with didn’t tell you shit, so you just ended up as a pawn.” Shiho elaborated firmly. “You lived thinking that there was no reason to the conflict, and only now you’re regretting everything. You’ve gone through a culture shock, and honestly, your reaction to all of this is normal. But I want you to know that this isn’t your fault.”

 

          Ichika gave heed to Shiho’s words, taking in a deep breath. You didn’t know, like Shiho said. You can’t change the past. She told herself.

 

          The azure-haired individual let her thoughts coax her as the sun began to set, with the room fading from a bitter orange colour to a wisping, melancholic violet.

 

          Footsteps broke through Ichika’s ears, which set her emotions in a panic. She looked around frantically, pulling her head up from the floor, only to see nothing but shadows coax the room. She shuffled herself and held her legs in a ball-like position, watching, waiting, until the flicker of a candlelight sparkled against her view.

 

          “O-oh,” Ichika exclaimed, panicked. The footsteps were Shiho, she realised.

 

          “Hm? You alright?” Shiho questioned, lighting another candle inside of her lamp. Ichika gave the grey-haired girl a shaky nod.

 

          “I didn’t know it was this dark,” Ichika laughed nervously. “I guess we’ll have to sleep soon.”

 

          Shiho didn’t pay any attention to Ichika’s words, instead handing her a book marked on chapter seven. Ichika opened it, flicking through the pages, until she noticed what Shiho was hinting.

 

          “This is… a tome?” Ichika questioned, seeing the different lists of runes detailed through the rows of words. Shiho gave a nod, prompting the azure-haired girl to sit up on Shiho’s bed.

 

          While atop Shiho’s bed, Ichika shuffled closer to Shiho. The grey-haired girl placed her hand on Ichika’s thigh subconsciously, causing Ichika to divert her thought process from the book to Shiho. Gods why is she so pretty, Ichika couldn’t help but think.

 

          “I’d like to teach you a couple of these tonight, if you’d like.” Shiho explained, her emerald eyes gently gazing upon the paper. Ichika attempted to regulate her breathing, but the warm, jittery feeling that clasped against her rung true, despite her attempts to hide it.

 

          “A-are you sure?” Ichika choked out, diverting her gaze from Shiho, hoping that she wasn’t too red in the face. What would she think if she realised I had a crush on her? Ichika thought frantically. She’d leave me, wouldn’t she?

 

          “Yes. Everyone has an affinity, and I… I’d like to figure out yours.” Shiho affirmed calmly, yet remaining confident with her choice.

 

          “What’s yours, Shiho?” Ichika asked, having realised that Shiho didn’t bring it up.

 

          “Shadow transmutation and repurposing. A subsect of Alchemy, but instead of light transmutation, which is all about reflecting and giving life, mine does the opposite.” Shiho answered. “I… basically use dead things to create other things.”

 

          Ichika hummed in curiosity. “Can you… absorb life? Like a wraith?” She questioned with utmost anticipation.

 

          Shiho remained silent, her breaths stopping, her eyes fading in and out of focus. “I guess… I can, but it’s not to do with my affinity.” She answered hesitantly.

 

          Ichika, noticing Shiho’s discomfort, decided to stop the conversation there and change the topic. “So, how do I test my affinity?”

 

          Shiho looked up, her pale face returning with colour. She scanned her eyes across the page of the tome, pointing her finger on a single verse. “Here. Recite this incantation.”

 

          Ichika narrowed her eyes, using the dim lamplight to guide her gaze to the page, noticing a pronunciation guide underneath the verse.

 

          “What will it do?” Ichika asked hesitantly.

 

          “It’ll show you some kind of symbol.” Shiho elaborated. “But only you can see it.”

 

          Ichika took a deep breath, understanding that there would be no damage. It’s just some kind of vision, she told herself. It’s easy. No need to be this afraid.

 

          With yet another glance of the page, Ichika opened her mouth and recited the incantation.

         

          “Tokou, Mie-u vivoci.”

 

          Sparkles of blue bombarded Ichika’s sight, violently rippling across her eyes until the colours subsided. Beneath the inky clouds that she gazed at was a pattern of stars and another flush of colour, except it was deeper and more docile. Ichika stumbled back, trying to let everything fade with no avail. The colours swarmed her until everything slowed down and cooled, dripping across her eyes, revealing a view similar to the sky itself, showered in constellations that only she could see.

 

          Ichika swallowed, her body tense as the stars dissipated, revealing the imagery of someone’s amputated wrist reaching out to her. The disconnected hand had a gradient in its skin, blemished with pearlescent colours. But before Ichika could speak, the hand disappeared against the skies, leaving her speechless and overwhelmed.

 

          “…” Ichika pulled her hand to her head, the throbbing sensation sending nausea to rise. She stood off of the mattress, pulling herself up, but her entire body lost balance immediately, causing her to tumble to the ground.

 

          “Ichika!” Shiho exclaimed, grabbing her by the waist, catching her before she fell. “Shit, I didn’t realise that y-you’d-”

 

          Ichika let out a mumble, her eyes fluttering. “What…” She gurgled, trying to regain focus. Shiho rested Ichika against the mattress again, making sure she was sitting upright so she wouldn’t inexplicably lose balance again.

 

          “Ichika, I didn’t think that this would turn out like this, I-I should’ve prevented it, and I-”

 

          “Shiho,” Ichika whispered, her throat croaking out every syllable. “Thank you.”

 

          Shiho paused for a minute, wrapped in confusion, her barely visible scowl engraved into her face. She blinked, unable to respond.

 

          “I might not know what that whole thing was,” Ichika began, her breaths shallow as she regained her strength. “But I know that it will be super important in the future.”

 

          Shiho looked down at her hands while she contemplated, glancing over at Ichika subconsciously with a concerned gaze. “If you don’t mind me asking, what did you see?”

 

          Ichika bit her tongue, trying to pinpoint what she did see. Just simplify it, she told herself. No need to be super detailed.

 

          “At first, I saw this blue colour, which was really blinding. Somehow, the blue colour turned into clouds, a-and stars, before there were even more colours everywhere that turned into constellations.” She began.

 

          “After all that, I saw someone’s hand reach out to me. The hand disappeared before I could say anything, and the next thing I knew, everything turned back to normal.”

 

          Shiho’s silence coaxed the room, leaving Ichika anxious to her answer. But Ichika needed to stay calm, she knew that much. Bothering Shiho would only cause more waiting.

 

          “A celestial affinity.” Shiho whispered beneath her breath.

 

          “What does it mean?” Ichika asked anticipatingly.

 

          “I don’t know.” Shiho uttered bluntly. “I’ve only ever heard of it. I… I won’t be able to help with it, either.” She gritted her teeth frustratingly. “Guess the basics it is.”

 

          Ichika frowned, wondering why she had such a difficult affinity. She knew she was regular most of the time, with her duty being the weirdest bit of her, but to have a unique affinity? She had never even dreamed of such.

 

          “Shiho-chan, we don’t have to do any practice today,” Ichika murmured, still wrapping her head around her strangely innate affinity. “Besides… you have my name to clear tomorrow. That is, if you want to, o-of-”

 

          “Ichika, I’ll clear your name.” Shiho uttered defiantly. Why was she always so gorgeous whenever she was determined? Ichika wondered.

 

          “But you’re right, we will have to postpone any practice tonight. Your affinity search seemed to take a big toll on you, and I… I don’t want you to force yourself for me.”

 

          Ichika grabbed Ichika’s wrist subconsciously, almost selfishly so. Let me savor this moment, she wished. Let me hold her, even just for a minute.

 

          “You’ve done so much for me. Please, just as you said before, don’t let your guilt overwhelm you.”

 

          Shiho let a soft smile wrap against her skin. “Y-yeah,” She whispered, her voice calm as she clung to her companion.

 

          Ichika’s eyelids grew heavier the more her mind dazed. Surely Shiho wouldn’t mind if I were to go to sleep now, she thought to herself, despite how needy she had become for the knight. She wasn’t even in some form of romantic relationship with Shiho, and yet, her desires played tricks on her. All she wanted was to be next to the silver-haired knight. And maybe, if she was lucky, she could let her desires drift and lull her to sleep.

 

          With contentment and serenity, Ichika let herself drift into unconsciousness in Shiho’s arms. If only fate wasn’t cruel to her, she would finally speak her feelings. But that time would come, eventually.

 

          Maybe.

 

Chapter 19

Notes:

I'm genuinely so sorry for the late notice, I began writing like 10 chapters ahead and then remembered my initial plans, so I had to add yet another plot-point. And it's not even the confession scene 😭 (Honestly, the next chapters are probably gonna be the best chapters you get before the absolute angst tsunami swallows this fic whole).

The next chapter will actually come out fairly soon, give-or-take two days or so. I'm gonna be tiering for the Mizuki chapter of the worldlink to try and get top 100 though, the first time ive tried for T100. Tbh the last time I tiered was Mafu4 and it was completely on a whim, but on EnSekai I've used the free bonus energy ads every day leading up to the worldlink I'm so prepared it's insane. WHY DOES MIZUKI'S CHAPTER HAVE TO START ON A MONDAY IN MY TIMEZONE THOUGH..... Eh, I can easily pull some all-nighters and get it done and dusted. I have 1k bonus energy in reserve and 63K crystals, so all I need is time. School be damned

If I do end up getting the seeker title and get around T50, I will actually go feral and I will cry. Also am I the only one who actually enjoys tiering cause everyone seems to complain (It might be cause of the tism but uh....)

Shiho awoke to the sound of rustling filling her ears, and the subtle creaks of the doors. A violet colour intruded her vision, alongside the warm hues and blotchy illumine yellows.

 

“Oof,” grunted Ichika, who meandered through the doorframe, thudding on the ground. Shiho clamoured her way out of her bed, if a bit groggily, to help her companion up.

 

“Ichika…?” Shiho murmured, her voice croaky, her eyes slightly watery. She saw the dazed knight pull herself off of the ground, her hair lost in knots.

 

“S-sorry, I decided to bring my stuff in, a-and,” Ichika rushed over to her things, carrying them with her hands and transporting the items to the corner of the room.

 

“Don’t tell me you did that all last night,” Shiho sighed, taking a look at what Ichika brought in. A futon, some blankets and hygienic items.

 

“I, uh…” Ichika looked down sheepishly. “Yeah.”

 

Shiho let her frustrations die down, finding her agitation as a nuisance. Mess surrounded her feet, alongside a nervous wreck of a knight.

 

“It’s alright, we’ll just have to… fix it up.” Shiho murmured, meandering her way through the clutter, over to the futon. She picked up the blankets and began to fold the cloth, with Ichika frantically following in suit.

 

Once everything was cleaned up, Ichika sat against her futon, heaving out a sigh. “Again, I’m so sorry about that,” She uttered, her face writhed in guilt.

 

“Don’t stress,” Shiho reassured. “Life and death situations can feel like that.”

 

It had been around two weeks since Ichika began rooming with Shiho, and every day became more and more hectic as the deadline of Tsukasa’s coronation grew near. Shiho worried that Ichika wouldn’t be able to handle herself after only learning basic spells, but time and time again, her affinity seemed to be the one saving grace, amplifying her effectiveness for most runes.

 

When she does come back alive, would I still visit her? Shiho pondered. It played against her mind a lot – the two of them weren’t exactly close per se. Shiho was simply helping someone who changed their perspective, as her job required her to. They were… comrades. That’s all they’d be.

 

“Would you like me to get some rations for breakfast?” Shiho asked plainly, cleaning her blade with a cloth, gazing back at Ichika briefly.

 

The azure-haired girl piqued up at the question, answering with a grunt and a shake of her head.

 

Shiho took her answer as a yes, getting up from her bed. “The usual?” She questioned. Ichika nodded her head again, toiling around with Shiho’s tome.

 

Footsteps filled the air as Shiho walked along the hallways, her eyes low, watching out for any guards. She placed her hands on the hilt of her scabbard.

 

Shiho’s mind slumped back to Ichika. She’ll leave me, eventually. Shiho knew it well. But why did it hurt her to think of Ichika leaving? Why did it make her heart ache and her hands to jitter? Why did she want to see the azure girl safe, despite the distance that they’d create?

 

Shiho dug her hand into the pocket of her armour. She swivelled around the corridors, hoping she didn’t bump into anyone. Surely, one day, Ichika will leave. But Shiho would treasure the time she had left with her.

 

She had to keep living, keep moving, keep looking out for Ichika. Because Ichika cared for Shiho. And Shiho had to repay the favour.

 

“Hinomori…?” Airi chided, her eyes ridden with surprise, her hands delicately holding a parchment-like letter.

 

“Momoi. Do you need anything?” Shiho queried, earning a nod from the magenta-haired knight.

 

“Shizuku has contacted me. Here, the letter,” Airi handed over the letter in her hands, letting Shiho unravel it. “She learnt the extended deadline for the coronation, and she’s… a bit conflicted about it.” Airi tiptoed.

 

Shiho looked down at the letter in her hands, her nails digging into the parchment. The handwriting looked rushed and blotchy, with the ink smeared against some segments. The White Knight let out a grimace as she began reading, with Airi diligently watching from the side.

 

Dear Shiho, I hope this letter finds you well.

 

I have recently learnt of your extended stay. I have also learnt from Airi of the death threats. I do not know who is responsible, but I will pick you up as soon as possible.

 

Please, stay safe.

 

Shiho let out a nervous inhale, pursing her lips. “This… isn’t good.” Shiho uttered.

 

Airi let out a frustrated huff. “If this Hoshino girl wasn’t on the loose, it wouldn’t be this big of a problem.” She groaned, trying to hide her initial anxiety.

 

Shiho took a look outside through the windows of the castle, seeing the bitter grey clouds and the beckoning rainfall soon to come. “I don’t think she’ll make it here in time.” Shiho frowned in a contemplated manner.

 

“I sent out a search squad under the Tenma’s name, but I don’t know how long it’ll take.” Airi sighed, her eyes diverted to the ground.

 

“Momoi,” Shiho began, hesitating. Maybe it’s too soon, she thought.

 

“Yeah, Shiho?” Airi remarked, giving Shiho her attention.

 

“I think Hoshino was framed.” Shiho uttered, tensing up to brace herself.

 

“Why…?” Airi gasped, her brows knotted in a furrow. Shiho turned away, afraid to look over.

 

“No one has seen her. Not even the princess.” Shiho began. “Not only that, but the only evidence is her sword apparently being there, and the princess’ words. Someone could’ve impersonated her, especially if she hasn’t been seen.”

 

Airi’s expression did not change. “But you hate her. She tried to kill you.” Airi scowled. “You don’t normally defend your enemies like this.”

 

“She is not my enemy.” Shiho announced, her hands curled into fists. “You know who my enemy is, Momoi.”

 

At first, Airi opened her mouth to protest, only for her eyes to widen. “You aren’t seriously saying that…” she began, unable to finish her sentence.

 

“I know Hoshino better than most of our people. And I know that she wouldn’t betray a country she tried to murder me over.”

 

Airi didn’t respond, her face ridden with contemplation. “…then who would frame her?” Airi questioned.

 

“That’s what we’re gonna find out.” Shiho concluded, shooting a determined look over at Airi.

 

In actuality, Shiho already knew who framed Ichika. But if she could get Airi in on clearing Ichika’s name, that’s all she needed. Then, she could bring Ichika home.

 

Shiho felt a wave of emotion stab her. Why am I doing this for someone who will just drift away? She questioned. Why do I suddenly care about Ichika?

 

As Airi began to walk away, Shiho let her emotions show way through her expressions. She felt so… defeated. But she knew that she had to ‘save’ Ichika from her terrible position. Even if she would drift away.

 

So, Shiho began making her way to the outdoor markets to find their rations for the day. She couldn’t dwell on the future any longer than she had.

 

Shiho clamoured through the outer rim of the castle, out where the many residents of the Tenma kingdom resided. Shiho had made it a fact to keep her sword strapped to her side in case of any thieves. The market stalls surrounding the knight filled her with dread, the busy footwork and the reckless amount of cloaked figures sending her into a panic. But despite the atmosphere, she chose to keep going through, heading over to her usual stall.

 

Shiho shuffled through the crowds to get to the stall, her hand wrapped against her belt where her armour covered her money from being stolen. She shoved the amount of coins on the countertop, uttering “The usual,” To the worker.

 

The stall worker looked over at Shiho, blinking in confusion, before reaching over to Shiho and handing the knight her order.

 

“You’re still here, eh?” The worker chided, resting a hand on their hip. “Surely you’re not staying, right?”

 

“I’m not,” Shiho responded, grabbing her order hastily. “But thanks for caring, I guess.”

 

The worker let out a gnarling chuckle, giving Shiho a wave. “See you tomorrow, knight.” They concluded.

 

Shiho began to back away from the stall, her breakfast in her hands, but a sliver of grey and lavish clothes tapped Shiho’s shoulder.

 

The knight spun around to see the figure, noticing the strikingly unique weaponry. The person had long straight brunette hair, her eyes gentle yet determined.

 

“You’re the infamous Hinomori Shiho, aren’t you?” She chided, her amber-green eyes looking over Shiho, analysing the knight.

 

Shiho took a step back, biting her tongue. “What exactly do you want from me?” Shiho stammered, clearly alarmed.

 

“Sorry to scare you. I’m Lorelei, from Standout.” She laughed.

 

“I don’t know who you are.” Shiho responded brashly, her hands gripping the hilt of her sword.

 

“We’re a vigilante group, and recently our swordsperson chose to leave.” Lorelei sighed. “I thought that you’d be a perfect fit, especially that stunt you pulled nine years ago.”

 

Shiho instinctively shook her head. “I… I have other business to attend to.” She murmured, turning her back to Lorelei.

 

“No rush, Hinomori. If you change your mind though, just call out to us.” Lorelei offered with the sway of her bangs. “We’ll – I’ll be waiting.”

 

Shiho felt her heart clench at the offer being presented to her. To fight with people who had the same ideas as her. It was interesting to say the least, but she had bigger fish to fry. Standout, huh? What a strange name.

 

Shiho made her way through the castle walls once more, entering her room quickly. But despite having other duties to attend to, her mind looked back on the offer. To join a group who shared the same ideas as her, to get rid of the tyranny that ruled Imperia. As much as she didn’t want to think about it, it really was a good deal.

 

“Shiho-chan?” Quipped Ichika, her silvery voice alight with surprise. “Y-you were back there for a super long time, and I thought that-”

 

“-I won’t leave, Ichika.” Shiho responded, handing Ichika her breakfast. “You are my responsibility, and I know you deserve a chance to live.”

 

Ichika gave Shiho one of her usual stares, one of longing and awe. Shiho found it endearing.

 

Shiho unpacked her breakfast and began picking at it, sitting atop her bed. Her mind hazed with Lorelei’s offer, as much as she hated it. Maybe she was just in denial, or ultimately afraid of what was to come. Maybe she felt like the offer was too good to be true. Maybe… maybe it was because she knew that the offer could last. That if she took it, she wouldn’t risk being abandoned or left alone.

 

Maybe that was why Shiho hated it. Because the offer would continue to wait. Because Shiho would have better chances fighting alongside Standout than with Ichika.

 

Maybe Shiho could ask standout to help find Shizuku. Maybe Shizuku would understand, and be able to take in the offer. Maybe… Shiho wouldn’t have to betray Ichika.

 

No! Shiho’s mind shouted. I’m not betraying Ichika. Shiho knew that it was an option, but to leave Ichika out in the wild? To do the one thing she feared most? Shiho couldn’t bring herself to do such a thing.

 

“Shiho-chan, something’s troubling you.” Ichika noticed, her deep blue eyes flickering with concern. Shiho lifted her eyes from her food over to the azure-haired girl, trying to hide the contemplation in her face.

 

Maybe I can tell her about Shizuku’s preposition, Shiho realised. But I can’t tell her about Standout.

 

“My sis, Shizuku, recently caught wind of the… things that have been happening here.” Shiho tiptoed, but judging by Ichika’s expression, she knew she’d have to explain what she meant.

 

“Sis realised that I was being hunted down and death threated.” Shiho answered, garnering a grimace and a look of sorrow sown on Ichika’s face.

 

“Ichika, she doesn’t know it was you.” Shiho explained. “So I’m planning on getting the other White Knights to defend you. I’ve started with Momoi, and Otori won’t be too hard, but If I’m able to do it, I’ll be able to take you home.”

 

Ichika blinked, perplexed. “How long will it take for her to get here?” Ichika questioned.

 

“None of us know if she’s gonna survive, Ichika. I…” Shiho answered, but her voice turned to a mumble, until her eyes diverted from the azure-haired girl.

 

“Shiho.” Ichika began. She placed her hand on Shiho’s shoulder, sitting next to the grey-haired knight. “Do you want to find her?”

 

Shiho looked at Ichika. “You… want to go find her? The two of us?” Shiho asked. “Are you sure that you’re ready?”

 

“That doesn’t matter right now. All I know is that I’ll always be by your side, Shiho-chan.” She rebutted. “And If you’re ready, then so am I.”

 

Shiho felt the lump in her throat tighten at the sight of Shizuku hurt. And despite there being a search party, she too wanted to protect her sister.

 

But Shiho couldn’t contemplate. She was born to act.

 

“Ichika, if we do this, you have to promise me to stop when it becomes necessary. If we don’t find her in a month’s time, we’ll have to come back here.” Shiho ruled down. “I know the Tenmas are plotting something for the coronation.” Shiho added.

 

“I promise, Shiho.” Ichika responded. It had been a while since Shiho saw Ichika’s determined spark in her eyes, the wish to truly fulfill her pledges.

 

“Then let’s brave the storm.”

Notes:

Reverse 1999 reference

Chapter 20

Notes:

Y’all are eating good with a side of Saki Angst for this one

Will my life ever have meaning?

 

This was a question someone such highly regarded seemed to think quite often, for the Princess of a kingdom would always inevitably be revered. But to Saki, she often questioned what it was to mean something. Was it to lose? To gain? To view?

 

There was no remedy to her condition. A curse that she would have to endure, she knew it quite well. But as every sight she watched tainted with gold, her mind did not fail to question beyond the mundane.

 

Saki knew. She knew far more than she let on. But that wasn’t her fault. Everything was planned in her eyes. Every step, every word.

 

But losing Ichika was not.

 

Saki gritted her teeth as she sat at the edge of her bed, toiling with knowledge she knew not to comprehend too quickly. She wasn’t one to talk about these things, not when there was more at stake.

 

The young princess didn’t know if it was regret she felt, or if it was shame. And yet, she still chose to frame Ichika. Framing Ichika for something outside her grasp, with the flick of her wrist and the light of a thousand suns.

 

Saki knew why she was cursed. She knew how she’d die. Maybe this was why she was so alone – because if she ever spoke a word like she did to Ichika, her mind would reprimand her.

 

Saki was only one side of a coin that made up ‘the esteemed princess.’ A person that somehow existed, for some strange reason. She knew she was never meant to exist. She knew. By gods, she knew.

 

Amber light poured from Saki’s fingertips, a manifestation of her lineage. It ran in her blood to wield such a weapon. It ran in her blood to destroy herself.

 

Saki looked up at the ceiling, letting out a muffled sound, her eyes dreary and tired. She wished she didn’t know the answers. She wished she didn’t know. But she did.

 

The storm outside continued to rage, with a distinct pattering thud. Saki had always hated storms – loud noises always caused the worst memories to arise. And when Saki wished she couldn’t remember, they’d pop up.

 

Tonight, the memory was of Ichika. Saki hated that it was so recent. She hated that she let it happen, too. She missed the way Ichika would talk and sit by her, the way her eyes lit up whenever she saw stars. But Ichika seemingly despised Shiho.

 

Saki was always perplexed by Ichika’s hatred of Shiho. Shiho’s assassination was ultimately the price Saki had to pay, and Shiho was lenient with the price as well. But Ichika didn’t know what happened. Ichika didn’t know about the forgotten war, about Shiho’s past. She didn’t know that Shiho too was cursed, or that she practiced dark magic, or about Miu, the lead Mage. The one that…

 

A grimace overtook Saki’s face, leaning into a desperate sob. Saki remembered. But it wasn’t her fault.

 

Maybe Saki’s life had meaning through death. Through the inevitability of time itself. Or maybe it was through devastation, or eternal loss.

 

Saki knew that her brother, Tsukasa, also had to go through this. The questions, the knowledge. But on stormy nights, she was alone in her thoughts.

 

But will her life ever mean anything to herself?

Notes:

Gotta get all my motivation through before the tiering amirite

Chapter 21

Notes:

Wish me luck for tiering, had to spark for Mizook :(

Ichika gripped the sides of her new uniform, finding the clothes for the kingdom of white to be unfamiliar at the very least. Both she and Shiho were packing and getting ready for the inevitable trip – waiting until the brink of dawn when the storm was at its lowest. Despite the plans set in place, Ichika still couldn’t help but think of what was truly going on. Every time she approached Shiho, the grey-haired girl showed distance.

 

Ichika wished that Shiho would be fully honest, but she had already given enough to Ichika. Shiho provided shelter, safety and food all for nothing in return. Ichika didn’t feel indebted, per se, but she did feel a twinge of guilt whenever Shiho offered something for free.

 

“Don’t worry,” Shiho noticed, her eyes gazing over at the azure-haired girl. Ichika spun her head around, expecting her long hair to hit her in the face, only for her to remember how short she cut it.

 

“I-I’m not worried,” Ichika laughed nervously. “Just… contemplating.”

 

Shiho’s eyes flickered with an emotion Ichika hadn’t noticed before. “I get what you mean.”

 

Ichika wanted to respond, but her mind told her not to. She didn’t know why Shiho’s emerald eyes were hazed, why she was being so… distant. She wanted to chalk it up to something towards her Sister’s message, but a part of her knew that it was her that was the problem.

 

I want to reach you, Ichika wished. But you won’t let me.

 

A rustle of wind emitted from the window, but Ichika didn’t care about the temperature. Her mind wandered to the why’s and the how’s. Was she too insistent? Did she cause unneeded stress? Was it even because of her?

 

Ichika never understood why she loved Shiho so much – it led to late night daydreams and almost every minute of hers spent on caring about Shiho. But she could never show it.

 

“…Ichika?” Shiho huffed out, her eyes blank, her bangs loose. The brooch latched against her armour shined in the raw moonlight, her emerald eyes filled with dismay. Ichika crooked her gaze to the knight, hoping beyond hope that there would be some form of answer from Shiho to why she was being distant.

 

“Yeah?” Ichika replied calmly, not daring to approach the knight. In all truthiness, she was afraid of Shiho’s question.

 

Shiho hesitated, turning her gaze away. “When we… head to the White Kingdom, what will you do?”

 

Ichika felt a lump in her throat form, her body shuddering with anxiety. The tone that Shiho provided was meek and quiet. Vulnerable, even. And she could easily mess up.

 

“Well, I’d… probably settle down. Maybe join the knights.” Ichika answered. It was vague and unconfident, but it was something.

 

In actuality, Ichika wanted to spend the rest of her life with Shiho. She wanted to treasure the grey-haired knight and shower her in admiration. But she knew Shiho wouldn’t feel the same.

 

Shiho hummed in understanding, but beneath her eyes was mournfulness. “That makes sense,” she commented, but her words were hollow.

 

Ichika felt the distance in every second that passed. She gripped her clothes once more, looking down at her bags. The isolation that came from the silence was nothing more than a reminder of who she was.

 

“I’m sorry.” Ichika whispered beneath her breath. She did not realise she said it until after it came out of her mouth. She was used to her words being cast aside, after all.

 

“What…?” Shiho questioned, her eyes turning to Ichika.

 

“I’m sorry I’m making you feel this way. …you don’t have to tell me anything, of course, but if I’m doing anything to make you uncomfortable, y-you can tell me.” Ichika responded.

 

Shiho remained silent, her eyes still just as hazed, the crickets chirping and the rampant pattering of rain filling in the white noise. Ichika felt tense – without an answer, she felt as if she was somehow right. Shiho didn’t trust her.

 

Shiho’s emerald eyes glinted with guilt, her hands wrapped in fists, her breathing jagged. “It’s not you.” Shiho whispered, taking in a deep breath. “It’s… something else. Someone.”

 

Ichika looked back at Shiho, getting off of her futon. She meandered her way to Shiho, reaching out her hand on the fabric of Shiho’s bed. But even Ichika knew not to be hasty.

 

“Ichika, it’s nothing to your concern. You have never made me uncomfortable.” Shiho huffed out bluntly. “You’re a comrade – my friend. I’d tell you if anything was up, okay?”

 

Shiho let out a sigh, noticing Ichika’s hesitance. “I don’t want to lose you.” Shiho whispered, so faint that Ichika could barely hear it.

 

Ichika’s eyes widened, if only briefly. She doesn’t want to lose me? Ichika questioned. She… wants me to be here? But she’s always so standoffish…

 

The rain against the windows began to settle, despite the grey clouds that swarmed against them. The sun began to rise. It was time.

 

Ichika grabbed her bags, fastening her armour diligently. Shiho too grabbed her stuff with haste, readying her stature.

 

“Are you ready, Ichika?”

 

Ichika blinked, swallowing her hesitance. “Yes.”

Chapter 22

Notes:

I think I underestimated the Mizook WL tierers because I got more points than I did tiering for Mafu4 in 8 days than I did during the worldlink and still only got T300. Not that I'm complaining, I pulled three all-nighters in a row for that title and it is so worth it. Might tier T500 on Mino5 sheerly because I'm a minori Oshi and the set is genuinely so pretty, then the rest is for Mizu5

Shiho navigated the outer rim of the castle, holding her bags carefully. Behind her was a cloaked Ichika, sullied in shadows, barely able to keep up with the guards’ rotations.

 

“Now.” Shiho hissed, zigzagging through the hallways, clinging to one of the connecting rooms. Ichika followed in suit, but the lack of natural light made it harder to see the azure-haired girl. The incoming sunrise was nigh, and Shiho was fully aware of it. Time was ticking, as it usually was for Shiho. Hiding, planning and preparing were her livelihood.

 

“You alright?” Shiho questioned, sliding her hand against Ichika’s to check up on her. The knight skittered backwards out of alarm, but her heart rested when she set back into reality.

 

“Yeah, yup.” She smiled awkwardly beneath her hood, gesturing her hand and giving Shiho a thumbs-up.

 

A nod formulated against Shiho, her eyes darting back and forth to Ichika and the exits. “Not too far to go, okay?” Shiho murmured, earning a determined grunt from her comrade.

 

Shiho dashed across the room again, clamouring her way over to one of the edges. The distinct architecture made it easy to slip through, causing both Shiho and Ichika to make their way out the imperial rim and into the town layer of the Tenma kingdom.

 

The wind howled against Shiho’s face, tipping Ichika’s hood to her neck. The grey-haired knight echoed out a sigh, her eyes blinded by the display of melting yellows and delirious magentas.

 

“Whoa…” Ichika gasped, her eyes darting about. Shiho scoffed at Ichika’s awestruck grin, letting a smirk play upon her own face.

 

“You look ridiculous, you know.” Shiho chuckled. The way Ichika’s eyes sparkled caused a warm feeling to surround Shiho. One she wasn’t used to, but she could get comfortable with. Shiho never understood why she loved Ichika’s eyes, but she did know how precious it was.

 

“…huh?” Ichika gasped, startled by Shiho’s display of comfortability. In all honesty, Shiho was just as surprised.

 

“N-nothing.” Shiho muttered, hoping to hide the grin on her face. God-damnit, I’m supposed to be serious about stuff like this!

 

Ichika let out a small laugh. It was… nice.

 

But that ‘nice’ will never last, won’t it?

 

A cold sensation washed over Shiho, ominous and degrading. Like the small patters of rain that cascade with hail, like the agonising feeling of swimming in water that was too cold to tolerate. That despite how much she’d swim, her heart would sink, and her eyes wouldn’t see through the darkness.

 

Shiho’s breaths began to thin, her hands shaking uncontrollably. Tears sprung to her face as she remembered.

 

“No…!” Shiho quivered, backing against the wall. The stains of blood against glass. The light that poured through. The calloused view of the perpetrator.

 

An unfamiliar warmth tapped against Shiho’s hand, pulling her out of through blood that began to pool at her feet. Her body was limp and pale, but she could breathe. It wasn’t cold anymore.

 

“Shiho,” Ichika gasped out, her words no longer muffled or mystified. Shiho gazed up frantically, seeing Ichika holding onto her hands, drenched in concern.

 

“I’m sorry,” Shiho huffed out, looking away. Her emerald eyes shook like a quivering animal, her arms sagging to her sides while her bag pressed against her ankles.

 

“No, don’t be,” Ichika whispered with a small but gentle smile. Shiho wasn’t used to someone so kind. “You were just reminded of something awful, and you reacted. It’s okay.”

 

Shiho blinked, her eyes latched to Ichika. She tried to open her mouth, but she had nothing to say.

 

“I know you, Shiho. And you don’t need to apologise for who you are.” Ichika added.

 

Shiho gave Ichika a solemn nod. The way Ichika treated her was… undeserving. Shiho didn’t deserve such a kind person, someone so perfect. Or maybe she had convinced herself that she wasn’t worth loving.

 

Shiho remembered the days she’d spend looking out at the knights in training, the way she’d seize up and stop breathing. She’d remember how she’d wish that she never met Miu, how she’d carve her skin with her blade until it hurt to move. She remembered the way people would distance each other around her, call her freakish and belittle her.

 

But now, it was Ichika who held her close. And Shiho couldn’t be more thankful.

 

“Are you ready to head out?” Shiho asked.

 

“As long as you are, Shiho-chan,” Ichika replied.

 

Shiho let in a breath of air, the wind cascading against her skin. She held Ichika’s hand tight, picking her bags from the ground before she began making her way through the commonfolk’s domain.

 

The two began through the cobble paths, scaling their ways through the wagons and the villages. Ichika kept her hood up, despite being unrecognisable outside of the castle walls. Shiho was on lookout, her eyes glancing about for any guards. But she knew well that soldiers wouldn’t patrol poorer areas.

 

“Alright, Ichika. You can take your hood off now.” Shiho mentioned, her own coat clung to her armour which hid underneath it. Ichika hesitantly nodded, sliding her hood off of her head, but her eyes swam in fear.

 

Shiho gave Ichika’s hand a small pulse of reassurance, instead startling the girl. “Sorry,” Ichika mumbled, but Shiho didn’t take it to heart.

 

“I-it’s been a long time since I was here,” Ichika let out a nervous chuckle. “This was the village I was raised in.”

 

Shiho knew what Ichika was going to ask her, despite her not mentioning anything.

 

“Where is the house you had grown up in? We have time to go and see your adoptive parents.” Shiho asked.

 

“Wh- huh? Really?” Ichika gaped, her eyes wide in surprise. Oh, how Shiho loved Ichika’s eyes. The way they danced in the light, shining diligently… wait, what was she thinking? Did she… no. Shiho didn’t like girls… right?

 

Ichika pointed over at a path to take, walking in as much stride as her embarrassment could take. Shiho followed, looked around, and awaited to see who the people that had raised Ichika had been, even if Shiho had never truly had her own parents.

 

“It’s right up here,” Ichika pranced, her cloak clung to her figure. Winds passed through her clothes, her eyes angled towards a particular building with a begrudged brick roofing.

 

Ichika approached the house, with Shiho trailing behind. She knocked her knuckles against the doorframe, diligently waiting on the cobbled steps.

 

“…hm? Ichika…?” Murmured a raspy tone that wisped through the doorframe. A older man appeared through the entrance, striking a stubbled beard and deep brown hair. He gazed at Ichika with surprise, before his eyes wandered over to Shiho.

 

“Hi, Dad, I uh…” Ichika began, fumbling on her words. “I… brought someone with me.”

 

Shiho walked up to the man, reaching out her hand to shake it. He returned the offer, boasting a tired smile.

 

“You must be from out of town,” He commented. Shiho gave him a firm nod, looking back at Ichika. “I am Hinomori Shiho, commander of the White Knights. Your daughter, Ichika, has been convicted of wrongdoings. I am here to tell you that the White Knights welcome her, and are trying to clear her name.”

 

“Shiho,” Ichika exclaimed in an embarrassed manner. She clamoured her way over to her father, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

 

“I… I can’t stay here.” She whispered. “Shiho is giving me a place to stay, a-and I-” She stammered, her eyes sewn shut.

 

“Shh… it’s okay, Ichika.” He comforted. His eyes glanced back at Shiho, but it wasn’t of unworthiness like she had expected. It was understanding, and trust.

 

“Here, both of you, come inside.” He remarked, giving Shiho a gentle smile, letting Ichika recuperate her own emotions. Shiho, while instinctively hesitant, still chose to make her way into the house.

 

Shiho navigated through the small house, finding herself now sitting inside the main room, propped up against the couch. Ichika’s father brought in tea with stone cups, hoping to seem as hospitable as possible. It was like he was trying to impress Shiho, which she found admirable.

 

“S-sorry, I shouldn’t’ve been so emotional,” Ichika began, her eyes darting around. “I know that coming here must’ve been a shock to you, Dad, especially while Mom is out,”

 

“Ichika, what did I tell you about apologising?” Her father reminded, prompting yet another apology from the azure-haired girl.

 

“You’re quite calm after realising that your daughter has been convicted of crimes, sir,” Shiho commented, bringing the cup of tea to her mouth. The taste of the tea was bitter, but tangy. Maybe home grown, Shiho presumed.

 

Ichika’s father let out a sigh. “I already heard the news.” He whispered.

 

Shiho felt her heart freeze. She wanted to run out and take Ichika home, where she would be safe.

 

“I’m glad you’re here for her, commander. My girl hasn’t had a good relationship with the White Knights, so I’m glad that you’re here to change that.” Ichika’s dad concluded; a small smile formed against his face.

 

“I know very well about her relationship with my people, sir. However, we are quite forgiving.” Shiho added, earning a guilty look from Ichika.

 

“I’m glad to know our kingdom hasn’t broken too many bridges,” He sighed, looking back at his daughter. “I don’t know much about what happens up in the castle, but I do know some strange laws get tossed about. After the attempt on the young princess’ life nine years ago, everyone has just barricaded themselves in the kingdom.”

 

“…” Shiho hissed through her teeth, her body becoming tense. “Does the general public know who pulled that stunt?” She asked.

 

“The whole attack is incredibly confidential, from what I know. I only learnt about it from my daughter.”

 

“Sa- err, the princess told her nurses to tell everyone it was an illness. I… I know the truth now to why, but I can’t tell.” Ichika stammered, hoping to provide more to the table.

 

“I thought you were friends with the princess.” Ichika’s father picked up, simply observing what was laid out to him. Ichika winced, still tense by her situation.

 

“She… tried to kill me.” Ichika whispered weakly, her hands pulled to her sides, her eyes lost in contemplation. Shiho could feel the depravity and hollowness that etched across Ichika, the feeling of remembering. Shiho knew how it felt to remember, watching the snippets play out, seeing the world around her fade in and out of her memories.

 

“She tried to what?” Ichika’s father scowled, his eyes narrowed in concern.

 

“Sh… she tried to dispose of me, and then blamed me of a murder I didn’t commit.” Ichika huffed out, her eyes sewn shut. “If Shiho didn’t find me, I’d probably be dead.”

 

Shiho couldn’t imagine the possibility of Ichika suddenly gone from existence after the several weeks she had spent with her. It was all so sudden, the way everything suddenly dawned on her. Maybe… she couldn’t protect Ichika.

 

Light flickered across the skies, the sun beaming skyward. Shiho knew that she’d have to cut the reunion short soon.

 

“I am glad to have finally met you, mister Hoshino. We will need to be heading out soon.”

 

“A-ah, right,” Ichika perked up, taking in the last of her tea. She gave her father one final embrace before turning over to Shiho.

 

“You have my blessing, commander Hinomori.” He uttered, sporting a knowing grin that Shiho didn’t exactly understand. So, Shiho just nodded her head and waved before exiting the building.

 

“I was way too formal, wasn’t I?” Shiho murmured embarrassedly.

 

“You were great, Shiho chan.” Ichika elaborated, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho whispered, holding onto her companion’s hand. Ichika looked back with her star-touched eyes alit with surprise.

 

“I will protect you, no matter what.” Shiho uttered impulsively. Despite her words, she was missing out the final verse to the lyrics of promise she had wrote within her consciousness.

 

Because if I don’t protect you, it will break me.

Notes:

Australian weather legit can't make up its mind this summer (Shout out to the spring storms though, except that one that caused that week long power outage on valentines day and created a fire outside my house, fuck you)

Chapter 23

Notes:

Miku expo for me is today and I genuinely can't wait like i got the hair chalk and everything :>

Also, this chapter was kinda supposed to be posted yesterday but I was too busy playing WuWa (It will happen again)

The rippling cobble treaded and collided with Ichika’s boots, her eyes hung low as the hood of her coat clung to her. Shiho’s eyes narrowed as specs of dust sullied her vision, but she stood still despite the weather.

 

The two of them had managed to get out of the capital area of the kingdom with ease, now far off the beaten path, heading across the rivers into the thick bushland.

 

Ichika popped open her canister, taking a sip of the water. The sun was soon to set, and neither of them had found a village. Ichika ruffled her hand in her hair, looking out into the distance.

 

Ichika felt a pit of fear slowly creep across her – it was the first time she had ever been on the run. She felt almost cowardly to admit that she was scared, but she couldn’t show weakness. Well, not to Shiho. She owed her entire livelihood to Shiho, with her training Ichika using tomes, and helping her understand the world. Ichika had to be strong for Shiho.

 

“Do you have enough for a night in an inn?” Ichika asked, trekking across the broken twine, her eyes loose. Blades of grass clung to her uniform, the foliage looming in the distance.

 

“Yeah.” Shiho murmured, passing through one of the trees, her eyes peeled for any areas ahead. “It’s either that or we find the squad Airi sent out.”

 

Ichika gave thought to why Shiho would be trying to find her sister when there was a squad out, but her mind eventually blurred into the conclusion of ‘it’s her sister’. After knowing how much Shiho spoke about her sister, it would be a waste not doing anything.

 

The pang of dread continued to flourish, pattering against her skin. She hated it, the dry, cold feeling prickling her like needles. Her throat ached for stability, for something that could retain comfort. But all that was left was foliage and the chirps of cicadas.

 

Ichika peered over at one of the ivory-stained trees in the distance, staring at the small, meek lighting that emanated from some kind of lantern. She grabbed onto Shiho’s wrist, pointing at the light to redirect her companion’s attention, getting a proud nod in return.

 

Ichika felt the sickly feeling bubble and rise, sending hesitation to her aching muscles. No, she heard her mind whisper to her. This… isn’t good.

 

Foliage surrounded them as the two clamoured through the trees, Shiho constantly passing her eyes around for guards. Ichika continued looking forward, her eyes growing tired as the light became increasingly out of focus. She wanted to run, but she couldn’t. Not until she was notified who was surrounding her.

 

Ichika rubbed her tired eyes, pausing and re-centring her gaze. That’s when she heard it – footsteps.

 

“No,” Ichika whispered breathlessly. Her heart pounded in her chest, her eyes widening slightly. Shiho looked over at her companion, but nothing could soothe the anxiety.

 

Shiho noticed the footsteps too, carefully treading to look out at whoever was making the noise. Ichika grabbed the hilt of her sword, pacing backwards. Her eyes fluttered, her heart beating rapidly as the footsteps grew frantic and frightened.

 

Ichika stepped closer, her heel landing on a fickle tree branch. Shit, she realised, her entire body now glistening with panic and horror.

 

When silence started, Ichika’s heart dropped.

 

Shiho’s eyes widened as she noticed something, her breaths becoming unnaturally thin. This isn’t good, We need to leave. Ichika’s thoughts chanted. Her fingers twitched out of anticipation, but she kept her shocked expression plastered to her skin.

 

Silhouettes graced Ichika’s vision, the remnants of steel hissing in the air. Tenma soldiers.

 

Ichika’s entire body grew tense. They’re hunting me, she chanted. They’re hunting me and I’m bringing Shiho down with me.

 

Ichika exhaled a frantic breath, her entire body locked in a state of paralysis. Shiho’s eyes met Ichika’s, her expression filled with contemplation.

 

The soldiers inched closer. There was no time left.

 

“Who are you?” Screeched one of the soldiers, their eyes wide with contemplation. They arched their weapon at Ichika, before their blade twisted back to Shiho.

 

“You’re the commander of the White Kingdom,” another soldier uttered beneath their breath, marching towards Shiho.

 

They’re gonna kill Shiho, Ichika thought. She’ll die because of me.

 

“I am relocating one of my troops that had gotten lost. Could you soldiers please locate us to the nearest village?” Shiho asked calmly, putting on a noble persona.

 

Ichika blinked. They didn’t recognise me. They weren’t hunting me.

 

“I did see some troops out and about,” another soldier commented, turning back to their presumed leader.

 

Shiho gave a sophisticated nod, watching carefully as one by one each soldier sheathed their weapons. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” She huffed out sheepishly, turning to Ichika with a gentle yet guilty expression.

 

“Yeah, sure. There’s a village up ahead, so just head northeast.” The presumed leader elaborated, giving Shiho a nod.

 

The soldiers began to disperse, continuing their patrol. Yet, Ichika still felt the anxiety in her chest dwell against her organs.

 

“Let’s go.” Shiho elaborated, speed-walking her way through the foliage until she was as far away from the Tenma soldiers as possible. Ichika only narrowly caught up, her body still sullied in a frenzy.

 

“I don’t trust any of them.” Shiho murmured, her eyes hung low against the shadows. Dusk was soon to come, with the splatters of purple and the constellations brighter in the skies detailing as such.

 

“Huh?” Ichika questioned. “But they were nice,”

 

Shiho let out a sigh, her hands formed into fists. “They were looking for you. If you took off your hood once…” Shiho grimaced, her breaths becoming heavier. “…They have troops around. I-I don’t know for sure, but that scale of soldiers isn’t good.”

 

Ichika knew that it was true, but she didn’t want to feed her anxieties. “We’ll figure it out,” She elaborated, but her face did not mask her fear.

 

The two managed to finally clamour their way to the main path, finding the town that the soldiers had mentioned, despite Shiho’s worries. They purchased a night, made their way to the room, and finally they both could relax.

 

Ichika plopped herself against the mattress of her bed, looking out at the town bittersweetly. “It’s been a while since I’ve slept in an inn,” She commented.

 

Shiho gave the azure-haired girl a stern nod. “To be honest, I thought that the towns would be in a worse state than this.”

 

“Probably because the royal family doesn’t fund any of these places.” Ichika murmured. She remembered how when Saki’s plans as queen would be to distribute funds to the outer towns. But that was a lie.

 

“What a surprise,” Shiho muttered sarcastically, her eyes hung low. She unfastened her belt, hanging it against one of the coat hangers. “To think that this kingdom could get any worse.”

 

Ichika sighed, rubbing the back of her hands. She slid off her shoes, placing the boots in the corner of the room. She wondered how long it would take until the bounty on her head had slipped away from public view. Probably never, Ichika summarised, but she still held out hope to live without the fear weighing down at her.

 

She needed time, that much was true. She needed to practice and hone in her affinity. Ichika hated the feeling of being weak, unable to do anything, and the soldiers finding her and Shiho only proved her point.

 

I’ll protect you, Shiho. Ichika didn’t need to say it to show her promise. I’ll make sure we both are safe from this godforsaken kingdom.

 

Soft teal sparks fluttered against Ichika’s vision, leading with a soft electronic tune wafting through the silence. Miku wants to see me, Ichika remembered.

 

“I’ll be out for a walk,” Ichika told Shiho, putting her shoes back on, wandering out to the door. Shiho, perplexed, turned back around.

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” The grey-haired girl queried, earning a shake of Ichika’s head. She slid on her coat, pulling out the tome-book from one of the inner pockets. “Y-you can stay here. I just want to train, y’know?”

 

Shiho gave Ichika a weary nod, letting her out through the inn. Ichika followed the trails of stardust until it led to a secluded area.

 

“Ichika Hoshino,” the goddess laughed lightly, her eyes glinting with serenity. She tilted her head, letting a smile grace her star-woven skin.

 

“My goddess,” Ichika responded, stepping closer to the ethereal figure.

 

“Hehe, you don’t need to be so formal,” Miku remarked, placing one of her illuminated hands against Ichika’s. “I simply wanted to see how you were.”

 

“Huh?” Ichika gasped, her eyes wide. “Y-you’re Miku, you can see everything,” She added frantically.

 

“I guess I can,” Miku murmured, her brow furrowed. “But it’s more fun talking to you.”

 

“Well, then…” Ichika nodded, realising how much she had to tell. “I… I love Shiho. She… saved me.”

 

Miku nodded her head, her eyes gazing out into the distance. “She is quite the anomaly, that Hinomori. Kaito did well with his protégé.”

 

Right. Kaito. The person who had messed with Shiho’s memories.

 

“I-I never learnt how Kaito meddled with Shiho’s memories,” Ichika admitted sheepishly. She knew that Miku wouldn’t judge, but she still felt embarrassed.

 

“It’s not all Kaito’s fault,” Miku elaborated. “He’s the god of humanity and emotions. When someone’s emotions become too much, it can lead to catastrophic events.”

 

“Huh?” Ichika questioned, her brow furrowed. “Then… what did I do to cause those emotions?”

 

The goddess paused, her eyes locked to the ground reminiscently. “When surrounded by grief at the age of six, just knowing people become too much.”

 

Ichika stood back. Shiho was six when Miu died. “So she… repressed those memories.”

 

Miku looked back at Ichika, her eyes gentle. She nodded, her voice silent, her body still as it illuminated the world around her. “If Kaito didn’t step in, you’d be gone.”

 

Ichika’s heart dropped. The idea of Shiho turning malicious and isolating herself from the world continued to cross her mind. She felt defeated, hopeless even. Her heart ached for Shiho. She had been through so much alone, and Ichika wouldn’t be able to fill the gap of emptiness. …Was it selfish of her to love Shiho?

 

Rustling footsteps echoed across the distance, causing the goddess to turn and dissipate into cosmic stardust. Ichika looked around, trying to rack her brain on the illumination incantation.

 

“Lui’qai zenmua,” Ichika whispered, her eyes daunting and lost as the orb formed against her fingertips. She swerved the light over and over, her body caught in a nervous sweat. Breathe. Ichika told herself. Just breathe.

 

“Ichi-chan?” Uttered a frightened voice. One that Ichika remembered.

 

“Honami.” Ichika gasped, her body growing tense. How could she be here? How did she find me? Why isn’t she attacking me?

 

Flurries of shadows danced across Ichika’s eyes, until she was met with a rampant embrace by her former companion. Ichika trembled back, confused, alarmed and afraid.

 

“Thank the gods you’re safe!” Honami exclaimed, tearing herself off of Ichika to seemingly admire her friend. Ichika couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as Honami lugged herself against Ichika’s waist.

 

“Honami, you shouldn’t be here.” Ichika stumbled backwards, holding onto the orb of light with an intense grip. “Y-you should leave. Now.”

 

“Ichi-chan?” Honami’s smile dissipated, her eyes filled with confusion. Her words turned to murmurs, her hands shaking disproportionately.

 

“…I’m here to get you home.”

 

“No.” Ichika hissed frustratedly. She grabbed her sword and unsheathed the blade, frightened by the mere idea of going back. Shiho needed her, and she needed Shiho, too.

 

“Ichika, please don’t do this. Saki has offered to take both you and Shiho home so we can cure Shiho.” Honami stammered, backing away from the tip of the blade.

 

“Cure her?” Ichika spat, her eyes wide. “What in the world are you saying?”

 

“…” Honami‘a gaze turned into something more sinister, her eyes deflated, her arms sunken and limp. “You too have been touched by that cursed thing, haven’t you?”

 

Ichika stumbled back. Honami stepped forward. “Shiho didn’t tell you, did she?”

 

Ichika shook her head. No. This wasn’t right. Honami was making stuff up.

 

“Shiho holds dark magic.”

 

Honami didn’t need to do anything else to provoke such a rampant reaction from Ichika. The orb of light in her hand smashed against the ground, with Ichika’s sword escaping her grasp as well.

 

“We can save you,” Honami whispered, her body slowly illuminating. “I can cure you. Then, we can all be friends again.”

 

“What is going on?!” Ichika gasped, scrambling to find her sword. “Y-you… what’s going on with you.”

 

“I have been practicing the art of healing, Ichi-chan.” Honami whispered. “I’ve been doing this for you. Then, all of us, we’ll be together again.” A smile formed against the rose-haired girl’s face.

 

Ichika found her sword, picking it off the ground. She looked at honami, horrified. What was once her friend was some kind of inhuman demon. No, Ichika wouldn’t fall for her tricks.

 

Ichika slashed Honami, creating a deep cut against the girl’s torso, her breaths heavy as she realised what she did. Run. Ichika realised. Run!

 

Get back to Shiho. Get back as quick as you can.

 

“Ichika-chan,” huffed the faint voice of Honami, who was seemingly following Ichika. “No, no… don’t leave me,” she begged. “Why… won’t you come back?”

 

“Go back to Saki.” Ichika answered. “And leave me alone.”

 

Ichika wanted to say sorry. She wanted to apologise and let Honami know that what she was saying was not because of her. But she couldn’t bring herself. She simply ran, making her way back to the hotel.

 

Now, Ichika knew what was going on. And she wasn’t going to stand for it. She just had to warn Shiho.

Notes:

Aki_Blob where you at 😔

Chapter 24

Notes:

You lucky motherfuckers getting two chapters in the last 3 hours

Honami gripped at the side of her tailor-made dress, her body writhing in pain. Crimson painted her fabric, her eyes blotched with tears. Her offhand scrambled her limp body off of the ground, her hair frizzy and unfurled.

 

“No…” She whispered, letting a sob escape her lips. Saki said that Ichika would come home, She wondered. But she’s holding back.

 

Honami let her mind recall what she had read from Ichika’s stem of thoughts. Dedication, panic and impulse were fairly easy to tell. But there was an undertone of desperation and romanticism.

 

Ever since Honami learnt her affinity, the world around her felt brighter. She did go to an academy in the White Alliance, after all. Honami knew that understanding a language she wasn’t fluent in was a task, but the language of incantation was something else. Not that she needed to recite any incantations, her affinity covered that aspect.

 

Honami placed her hand on her chest, a distinct teal colour wrapping against her flesh. No longer was her canvas of a body detailed in red, the wound sealing from the sheer tap of her fingertips.

 

The tailor let out a huff of exhaustion, her hair slumping to her shoulders. She pulled her hand to her forehead, letting her eyes readjust.

 

“Kiritani-chan,” Honami uttered weakly, her legs wobbling from the pain. The ocean-coloured tactician swerved from the foliage, standing next to the tailor, her hand arched against her waist to where her blade resided.

 

“Mochizuki; don’t be defeated. We’ve got their location.” Haruka elaborated. “To think she resorted to the art of SoulDust, forsaking everything we stand for…”

 

“No offence, Mochizuki. I should mind my words when speaking about such a topic.” Haruka realised, shuffling backwards. Honami didn’t mind the words – she was appointed as the only mage of the Tenma kingdom, sheerly because of her immunity to dark magic.

 

“It’s okay,” Honami hummed, looking down at the grass fibres. There were traces of SoulDust everywhere through the ground, almost like the gods had found their ways through the mortal realm.

 

Ever since Honami learnt the truth, everything about the world seemed to change. Every colour, every action, every single word… it was all planned. And Honami was willing to be a part of it, as long as she got to see Ichika, Shiho, Saki and herself truly forgive each other as victims of circumstance.

 

And until then, Honami would do as many dastardly things as she needed to. She wouldn’t lose her friends again.

 

“I… I want to try again. I think that I have an idea.” Honami whispered.

 

She hated that she’d have to do it. She knew the colours, the emotions, and the stitches that would weave through the truth. But there wasn’t any other option.

 

“I’ll be right behind you, Mochizuki.” Haruka murmured, her eyes soft as she stared at Honami.

 

I’m sorry, Ichika. But I have to do this.

Chapter 25

Notes:

This is hands down the best chapter in this fic.

You're very welcome Heidi.

A coaxing shadow latched against the wisps of embers, illuminated, blotched, and forlorn. A hand reached out, one broken and frail, unable to grasp what was in sight.

 

            Shiho, smothered in soot, tried to chase the flicker, but the more she moved, the more intense her chains behind her grew. Every step was humiliating. All she wished was for a moment where freedom and solace wouldn’t taunt her with false dreams.

 

            “No,” The grey-haired knight rasped, her legs laced with some form of glue that drooled across her ankles, sending waves of discomfort across her body. Every single blink of her eyes sent her deeper and deeper, from chain to chain, from ember to ember…

 

            Purple tainted her view, burning, disinheriting. She swallowed back the raw feeling that punctured her tongue. She felt her gaze being forcefully averted, twisted upwards uncomfortably as the ember began to take shape.

 

            “…I’ve been looking for you.” Cooed a voice that had only ever haunted Shiho. The stains of purple attacked her eyesight, now filling her ears with squelches and hisses.

 

            “One so… accustomed to the sword, you may be,” The voice paraded, his figure encased in shadows meandering towards the knight he held prisoner. “But you are just as powerful in other methods.”

 

            A delirious laugh escaped the voice as he kneeled down to Shiho. “To resort to murder, no less… for no reason at all.”

 

            “Are you just mad that I killed you, Kamishiro?” Shiho hissed back, despite her jaw locking and her voice being gagged back.

 

            “To put it simply, I am not ‘mad’.” He elaborated. “I am confused and betrayed.”

 

            Shiho remained silent. Ask me again. See what happens. She chanted.

 

            The shadow of the alchemist swerved around, turning away from Shiho.

 

          “…You will pay the price, won’t you?” He whispered ominously.

 

            Before Shiho could respond, purple embers and flames spurred out of the ground, and the chains Shiho was bound in became tighter and tighter. Panic arose across her limbs which had begun being pulled below gravity, forced to barely suffocate as her panic grew numb.

 

            Fire danced across her body, agony shooting at every angle, her throat slowly beginning to choke. Shit, no, she realised. I-I need to get back to Ichika. I need to see if she’s okay.

 

            “Ichika…!” Shiho uttered, attempting to swallow in air, but a flurry of coughs attacked her as her air became nothing more.

 

          No, please. Shiho begged. I need to check if Ichika is alright. I need to-

 

            With a gasp of air, the grey-haired knight was pulled from the ground into a cage, one reminiscent of a battle stage.

 

            Shiho gripped her sore body up, her hands on the hilt of her blade. She hissed out a gnarl of pain, her mind spindling with nausea and fog. Shadows wrapped around her as she felt the cage she stood in being pulled up, with gigantic limbs clinging to the bars, holstering Shiho higher and higher.

 

            With a thud, Shiho fell to her knees as the cage rattled. “Stop,” she rasped, but there was no response.

 

            “Hinomori?” Lunged the tongue of her newfound ally, a blade latched to her hands, and a glare born of malice.

 

            “Ichika? You’re safe?” Shiho choked out, blind-sightedly approaching the azure haired knight. “I-I thought that-”

 

            The hissing sound of Ichika’s blade caught the White Knight off guard, sending a wave of panic through her system.

 

            “You don’t care about me, Shiho. Stop acting,” Ichika slammed her sword at Shiho, “like you somehow do.”

 

          “what?” Shiho questioned, unsheathing her weapon. “You-you said that-”

 

          “I told you to leave me and Saki alone!” She shrieked, her eyes wide as her hatred stemmed, her body moving out of the malice Shiho had created.

 

            “No. NO!” Shiho screamed, her eyes locked in a scowl. “You don’t just get to- to say any of this! Not after I snuck you in, not after you- you told me you’d stay!” Shiho cried, defiant and angry.

 

            “What the hell are you saying!?” Ichika mocked, her sword colliding with Shiho’s. “You’re a murderer, a monster, and now a manipulator?”

 

            “No! I-” Shiho begged, but she was met with a loss, locked in a state where Ichika would most obviously win. She pinned Shiho down, detained her, and now, Shiho couldn’t do anything.

 

            “No one will ever love you.”

 

            Ichika plunged her blade into Shiho’s heart, sending pain rippling through her intestines. Her heart stopped beating, her eyes shattered, and her limbs grew numb.

 

          Shiho’s eyes fluttered open. It was just a nightmare.

 

            “…!” Shiho gasped, her body whirring with exhaustion, her hands cupping her mouth. Her entire body was laced in a nervous sweat, and her eyes darted around, unable to focus. It felt like her head was spinning, like her body was out of control.

 

          “Shi…ho?” Ichika mumbled, resting against her own bed. Shiho was filled with relief seeing the azure-haired girl safe.

 

          “…Hm?” Ichika remarked sleepily, her eyebags sagging as she pulled herself off of her mattress, taking in the small rays of sunlight that bounced from the windows.

 

          “I-Ichika, I…” Shiho began, her breaths thin. She looked back at the azure-haired girl, her soft, almost loving gaze sending a prickle of warmth through the normally tense knight. No, I shouldn’t make her worry. Just… sum it up. No details necessary.

 

          “I’m sorry, I just… had a nightmare.” Shiho managed to elaborate, pulling her hands to her sides. She looked down at the soft covers of her bed, letting out a small gasp of air as she began regulating herself.

 

          Ichika sat up on her mattress, her eyes glittering with concern. When Shiho adverted her gaze, Ichika only further pressed on, wound up sitting atop the White Knight’s bed, grabbing her hand.

 

          “I-I-” Shiho began, but her breaths seized, causing a jitter to overcome her body. She shut her eyes and winced, pulling her hand away from Ichika out of instinct.

 

          “…It’s okay,” Ichika reassured, nudging herself closer to Shiho. “Everything will be okay. You’re safe, Shiho-chan.”

 

          Hesitantly, like a wild animal, Shiho finally reopened her eyes. She didn’t realise how tense she had become. She remembered the night’s she’d wake up like this, burying herself in her covers, begging as a small child to see someone who cared about her. She remembered how guilty she felt for existing, as much as she wished she never did. She would always be curled up, reassured by Shizuku like how Ichika was doing.

 

          “I’m sorry,” Shiho stammered out. “I’m so sorry you had to worry about me.” She continued, stammering on her words. “I-”

 

          “Shiho-chan,” Ichika hummed, interrupting Shiho’s dark patterns. “You’re not alone. Y-you know, sometimes I get nightmares too.” Ichika remarked, attempting to soothe Shiho’s worries. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me what happened in the nightmare. But you’re safe now, and so am I.”

 

          Shiho gave Ichika a hesitant nod, her emerald eyes dim from the shadows her bangs cast upon her face. The room was thick with ice, ruminating with distinct yellow textures that now were sullied with the peach-coloured beams of sunlight. Despite the shadows that echoed across the room, she wasn’t stuck inside a cage, or cast upon chains, or held prisoner and tortured. She was safe, and a person that she trusted was next to her.

 

         

          “Shiho,” Ichika began, her voice slow and methodical. “I think you were right about the soldiers.”

 

 

          “…” Shiho’s breaths became heavy, her eyes sewn shut. She knew that Ichika had left through the night to practice some incantations, but she also knew the likelihood of an attack was almost impossible to avoid.

 

          “Honami. She found me.” Ichika whispered.

 

          “Honami is alive?” Shiho muttered breathlessly, her heart beating rapidly. Bile rose up through her mouth, her mind filled with spandrils of aches.

 

          “I’m so sorry,” Ichika uttered, her body bundled up against her covers. Guilt was ridded against every inch of her form, from the way she turned away, to her muffled apology.

 

          “Don’t be.” Shiho uttered. “We’ll figure this out. Just like we always have.”

 

          Ichika slowly unravelled her blanket, escaping from the isolation it provided. “But I… I fucked up. I showed all of them that we’re here.” She spat out, still clearly swarming in her fears. “A-and I… I attacked her. I-I didn’t know what to do, and- and-”

 

“I-I get it. That feeling, that moment… I’ve been there too. And I don’t blame you for it.” Shiho elaborated. She didn’t know why exactly she cared so much for Ichika. Maybe it was just the way she felt so connected to the azure-haired girl’s experiences that made her care so much. Or maybe it’s because she knows at the bottom of her heart that Ichika also cares about her.

 

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for Honami’s actions.” Shiho clamoured her way out of her bed, slowly sitting atop Ichika’s in turn. They both had rough nights – that much was true. But now it was Shiho’s chance to comfort her friend, just as she had done to her.

 

“We don’t know what she’s planning, too.” Shiho began, letting her hand brush up against Ichika’s wrist, patiently awaiting for Ichika to emerge from her isolating cocoon. “No matter what she does, I’ll be here for you.”

 

“I promise to keep you safe, no matter what.”

 

Ichika’s head swerved around meekly, her body loosely sliding from beneath the blanket. She looked up at Shiho with her everlasting gaze of awe. I love her, Shiho realised subconsciously, unable to keep her eyes away.

 

I… love Ichika. Shiho couldn’t stop her thoughts. She’s beautiful.

 

“Shiho, I…” Ichika began, looking away. “Sorry,” She whispered, her voice slowly breaking. She held Shiho’s hand close to her despite her reluctance.

 

“It’s okay.” Shiho consoled. “I’ll listen to what you have to say.”

 

Ichika looked back at Shiho, her throat unable to spit out the words. Her body was shaking her hands holding onto Shiho tightly. Please, keep holding my hand.

 

“Shiho, I love you.” Ichika exhaled, her hand imbedded into Shiho’s, her eyes glittering with uncertainty.

 

Shiho didn’t know what to say. Her mouth hung agape, her body laced with tension. But it was not the time to hesitate.

 

“Ichika, I… I love you too.”

 

Shiho couldn’t explain the look on Ichika’s face if she tried to. All she knew was that it was the most beautiful sight she had ever laid eyes on.

 

“You… do?” Ichika whispered breathlessly, her eyes dancing about as she tried to focus. “I… I…”

 

Shiho turned her gaze to the ground, now realising how red her face had become. “O-of course, Ichika. I-”

 

Shiho’s words became mush as the azure-haired girl cupped Shiho’s cheek and pressed her lips against the knight’s. Goosebumps arose across Shiho’s skin, her body instantaneously relaxing as Ichika’s tongue played with her emotions.

 

“I-Ichika,” Shiho huffed out, but she didn’t pull away. Ichika was so caring, her skin soft as Shiho pulled her closer. Shiho didn’t know how long she denied this feeling, how long she had truly been in love with Ichika without knowing it.

 

“Yes…?” Ichika responded, parting her lips from Shiho. Ichika gave the knight a kind smile, while her eyes glimmered with adoration. Shiho couldn’t hide the smitten shock painted with red that danced across her face.

 

“Are we… together?” Shiho questioned. Was she stupid for asking such a thing? Shiho wondered.

 

“Yes,” Ichika responded wistfully, unable to keep her eyes from staring at Shiho. “O-of course, my love.” She added, resting her head against Shiho’s shoulder.

 

Shiho finally let herself smile too. Someone does love me.

Notes:

RAHHH AOIDJ;IAWUFHO'QEUWIAF[IUW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THOSE TWO GAYASSES HAVE ME IN A CHOKEHOLD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I CANNOT DESCRIBE IT LDSKJAHFQEIWUFHIUWEFH[IQEUW

Chapter 26

Notes:

How we holding up from last chapter? good? sad? Eh, however you may be feeling, there's more Ichishiho to come with your order! As your waiter, I present to you: Ichishiho food for today.

Ichika held her breath, her eyes gazing onto the horizon. Both her and Shiho had continued their trek in the broad daylight, with Ichika’s coat cast against her face and hiding her distinct emotions.

 

“There’ll be a storm soon. We…” Shiho began, her eyes locked towards her sights, her hands twitching uncomfortably. Ichika grabbed her hand, giving her girlfriend a pulse of reassurance.

 

“We’ll find your sister.” Ichika uttered, determined. She traced her fingers against the cuff of her coat, skidding the hood down to give Shiho an expression of reassurance. Instead of a firm nod and a look outwards that Shiho would normally give, her face turned bright red.

 

Ichika let out a small laugh, holding onto Shiho’s hand diligently. Shiho turned away, her face written in embarrassment. “Y-you…” shiho began, but she lacked the composure to finish.

 

“It’s okay, Shiho-chan. …I need to get used to us too,” Ichika gave Shiho a sheepish smile. “And you look adorable,” she added.

 

“Hey,” Shiho yelped, her voice turned to embarrassed mumbles. “You can’t just finish a sentence like that,” she quipped nervously.

 

Ichika didn’t know why she found Shiho so adorable – maybe it was the way she just was that made moments where she wasn’t tense so precious.

 

The Tenma kingdom borders began to flood into the marshlands of the wilderness, with each step the two took sloshing against the mud. Shiho’s eyes continued to look down at the tracks, attempting to observe each ripple in the dirt-stained turf.

 

“We should make a left.” Shiho ushered, pulling Ichika along with the stem of her fingertips. Ichika’s coat flailed in the wind, with her nose intaking heaving breaths of pollen. She wished that the aching pollination entering her sinuses would simply dislodge.

 

“Shiho-chan, where are we going?” Ichika quipped nervously, her eyes briefly dabbling with water from her own allergies. The grey-haired knight turned her gaze, seeing how much of a mess Ichika was.

 

“Sorry,” Shiho realised, mumbling out her words. “There was a storm on the way back there. Honestly, everywhere we go is overcast…”

 

“…” Ichika frowned, her brows locked in contemplation, her hand cupping her chin. “Do you think we’ll be able to avoid it?”

 

“No.” Shiho whispered breathlessly. Disappointment was painted all over her face. “But we’re far off the beaten path – I doubt that anyone’s following us.”

 

Ichika looked around, hearing nothing but gales of wind. There was a sense of uneasiness wrapped around Ichika, that maybe Honami had slipped out and found their tracks. That Shiho would inevitably watch as Ichika was taken from her, having no choice but to surrender.

 

But there was something about what Honami said that made her words all the more concerning.

 

“Shiho,” Ichika began, but her gaze turned from Shiho. She hesitated without much reason, which made her girlfriend all the more concerned.

 

“Yeah?” Shiho whispered. Her voice was gentle, yet firm. The way she looked over with her emerald-touched eyes made Ichika truly feel okay to say what she wanted to. Damn you, Shiho.

 

“Honami… she told me you were cursed.” Ichika began. “A-and I know, It didn’t sound real at first. But I… I felt like you should know, Y’know?”

 

Shiho didn’t respond, only going silent. “Did she tell you anything else?”

 

Based off of Shiho’s tone, she wasn’t annoyed or mad. Only confused. To Ichika, she too felt that confusion and unsureness. It must’ve been a lie, then. She presumed.

 

“She said you were touched by dark magic. A-and then she claimed that I was, too. She said she’d cure us.”

 

“…I guess she’s not wrong about me being touched by dark magic.” Shiho uttered. “There’s no reason for me to hide it now.”

 

Ichika listened intently to Shiho’s words. She didn’t care if she wanted to beg for it not to be true, or run away. Because that’s who she once was. Now, she accepted that not all born with darkness were truly evil.

 

“When Miu was still around, I… I heard about her affinity, and she said that there was a way to help her. At the time, I only wanted my friend to be happy, so I…” shiho swallowed, her eyes deflated. “I let her give me her affinity.”

 

Ichika chose to stay silent, simply nodding. She knew that this was a topic that was weighing on Shiho. If I could just be there, listening, would it be enough?

 

“The chances of obtaining an affinity is incredibly low. Especially if it falls under the dark magic branch. I… I risked my life for her.”

 

Ichika grabbed Shiho’s hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of her palm. “It’s okay,” she whispered. Would this be enough for Shiho? Am I enough for her to love?

 

“…I have four affinities, Ichika.”

 

“Four?” Ichika whispered, trying her best to contain composure. How could someone have four? Is it humanly possible? More importantly, is Shiho okay?

 

“Miu could absorb other’s SoulDust, so she had access to several affinities at once. When she gave me hers, I also got all of these. …it’s the reason I suffer from hallucinations. I wasn’t supposed to survive, but I did.”

 

“Can you still absorb people’s affinities?” Ichika asked. She hated that she was asking such questions, but she couldn’t help it.

 

“Without Miu or any tome to do so, I can’t.”

 

Ichika noticed the feeling of weakness in Shiho’s tone. The empty queries, the hopeless melody of words. She knew what this felt like. She knew the emotions that were pulled together from it. And she wanted to remedy it.

 

“…am I the first person you have told?” Ichika asked, cautious in her wording. She got a weak nod in response.

 

“Shiho-chan…” Ichika uttered. This must’ve been weighing on her for such a long time. Years, even. She must still be hurting, too.

 

On impulse, Ichika wrapped her hands around her girlfriend’s waist, embracing the grey-haired girl. “I love you, Shiho. You don’t ever have to be afraid anymore.” She whispered.

 

“I…” shiho stammered, her words cut short by a flurry of tears rolling down her cheeks. “I don’t deserve you, Ichika.” She exclaimed softly, her throat welling with sorrow.

 

“Shiho, you are enough. You deserve the world. I love you.”

 

Ichika’s words broke through Shiho’s barriers, sending the grey-haired girl into a frenzy of deep tears. Ichika knew the feeling of not deserving what was offered. But despite it all, she knew that Shiho needed her.

 

“Ichika…” shiho uttered, trying to catch her breath through the heaves of sobs that escaped her lips. “Is it really okay for me to be with you?”

 

Ichika let a gentle smile overtake her face. “Of course, my love.”

 

Shiho’s incessant sobs turned to heaves and wails, unable to keep herself from screaming out in sadness. Ichika held her girlfriend tight.

 

I am enough for Shiho. And she is enough for me.

Notes:

May or may not have gotten inspo from Ena5 because y'know it's Ena5 can you blame me (It's the gay in me)

Chapter 27: Shiho's point of view

Notes:

Welcome to the first ever split-POV chapter, where y'all get fed, and I get the gratification of your satisfaction!! Today, you get 3 chapters of 3 different characters' POVs of the same chapter. There is no order for you to read them, so you can pick and choose however you'd like to experience it!!

Hope you enjoy reading, while I enjoy that sweet, sweet sleep

This will mark the start of split POVs. The next 3 chapters include the same events, but all with different POVs – hence the name, split POVs.

 

Shiho looked out at the horizon, having recuperated her emotions with a small amount of difficulty. Her eyes were still red from tears, but her mind was in a different place. Shizuku needed her, after all.

 

“We’re near the border of the kingdom of white. Once we make it there, I’ll ask the outposts for Shizuku’s route.” Shiho elaborated. “We won’t avoid the storm, though. Our best bet is to find shelter and count on the search team Airi sent out.”

 

Ichika gave her a knowing nod of her head, her eyes gazing out at the plain marshlands. It was sunset, and the clouds were distinctly overcast. There was a yellow glow to every inch of mud that was traversed.

 

Shiho remembered this place. After all, how couldn’t she?

 

This place was the place where her parents died protecting her and Shizuku. Where the war took the lives of everyone that stepped in the way of the Tenma kingdom. Where Shiho was stolen from her home and knocked unconscious, and brought to… there.

 

Shiho didn’t know where ‘there’ was. All she knew was that this place, the battleground of the War of Snow, and that ‘there’ was directly connected.

 

Maybe it was the silence that pulled Shiho away from that moment, or Ichika’s hand slowly wrapping around hers. But either way, Shiho snapped back to reality and continued walking around the marshlands.

 

Then, the silence broke. Shiho didn’t know what it was, but she knew what would happen.

 

Panic arose on every inch of Shiho’s body to the point where she couldn’t stop herself from shaking. Maybe it was ironic that she thought soldiers were there to murder her, like they once were. But she knew that what she was hearing wasn’t good.

 

Shiho picked up her pace. Her breathing becoming irregular. Don’t panic, she told herself. Don’t alert Ichika, either.

 

The noise became louder. It was droning in, burning, etching through every inch of Shiho’s psyche. She felt sick. She wanted to cry. But she couldn’t bring herself to fear when she needed to make sure Ichika was safe.

 

Just keep walking, Shiho told herself. Her breaths were noticeable now, leading to her running instead of walking. While Shiho had picked up the pace, but Ichika didn’t speed up.

 

“Shi-” Ichika began, but Shiho didn’t give her enough time. There wasn’t enough time. She grabbed Ichika’s wrist tightly, dragging her away from whatever was coming. She knew the fog would make seeing through any motive that the sound’s origin had would be futile.

 

You’re running out of time, Shiho.

 

You’re running out of time.

 

Shiho’s heart pulsated unnaturally, her breaths only getting thicker. Her grip on Ichika was tight – almost too tight. Ichika’s words blurred with the noise of the soldiers perusing her, almost deafeningly so.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho choked out, her limbs growing tired of her fear. “I can’t lose you to them…!”

 

There was no response. Maybe there was, but Shiho couldn’t hear it. All she heard was her beating heart and the feeling of losing Ichika.

 

Noise. All Shiho heard was noise.

 

“Why can’t it just-”

 

Finally, it clicked in Shiho’s brain. She was hallucinating.

 

Maybe it was just a hallucination, Shiho thought to herself. Maybe she just needed to snap out of it. Maybe it wasn’t real, but only partially.

 

Shiho chose to catch her breath, finally stopping the squelches of her feet against the mud.

 

“I’m hallucinating… aren’t I?” Shiho whispered, her eyes looking down at the mud before her. Breathe. It’s probably just a hallucination.

 

Ichika didn’t want to answer. I don’t blame her, Shiho thought.

 

Why did she feel guilty for something that she couldn’t control?

 

“Shiho…” Ichika huffed, looking down at the grip mark that Shiho left. “Maybe we could slow down a bit?”

 

Shiho gave herself a weak nod, despite her mind being put in such an agonising status. She let out a straggling breath, her eyes lost and dissociative.

 

The fog swarmed around the two of them, creating a layer of unknown surrounding their limbs. It truly would be a perfect place for an ambush.

 

Once the two of them caught their breath, Shiho finally let her muscles relax. Ichika wrapped her hand around Shiho’s gently rather than Shiho’s rushed grasp before, showing Shiho that it was okay.

 

“I… don’t know what came over me.” Shiho uttered, her words escaping her mouth. “I’m sorry, Ichika.”

 

“It’s okay, Shiho-chan,” Ichika smiled, her eyes just as gentle as they usually were. Shiho’s heart quickened every time she looked over at Ichika, at the stars that ruminated against her irises.

 

“We’re almost at the outposts, so there’s no need to stress out now.” She added, her eyes redirected to the path forward. “If anything ever happens, I’ll protect you.”

 

Shiho gave herself a moment of solace, even for just a second. “Same here, Ichi.”

 

Shiho would do anything to protect the smile that had formed on Ichika’s face. A gaze that wasn’t tainted with the truth, with the fears of life itself. A gaze that Shiho had only ever seen twice - when Ichika became her ally, and now.

 

“What’s with that face, Shiho?” Ichika teased, her hand wrapped against Shiho’s wrist. The azure-haired girl began to laugh at Shiho’s dumbfound expression, pulling the grey-haired girl’s hand and ultimately pulling Shiho closer.

 

“I, well, uh-” Shiho began, but her words were cut short with the tug of Ichika’s hand and Ichika’s lips pressed on Shiho’s cheek.

 

“…!” A sharp jolt of emotion pressed itself against Shiho, her body alit with goosebumps. Despite the sensation, Shiho easily melted into the kiss, returning the favour.

 

Shiho felt Ichika’s hands pull Shiho closer, her every action soft and gentle. Shiho felt every inch of her body relax as Shiho gave herself the moment. She didn’t need to think, or wonder, or even look. She just needed to feel.

 

Shiho was a hopeless romantic, that much was true. But if she was truly hopeless, then she would’ve never met Ichika.

 

If Shiho could paint her feelings into the stars, it would spell out ‘thank you for meeting me’. That is if the stars hadn’t already wrote it.

 

Shiho would do anything for Ichika. No matter if it costed her life or soul. She’d end the entire world if it meant keeping Ichika safe.

 

As the moment ended, Shiho simply stared at Ichika, taking in the sight of the person she loved as if it was the last time.

 

“Shiho-chan,” Ichika hummed, her gaze mellow, her hands welded to Shiho’s. “You always look at me like that.”

 

“…” Shiho’s breath quickened in embarrassment. “A-ah, right, I…” she began, stammering her words. “Y-you’re just gorgeous, Ichika.”

 

“Me? Well, I wouldn’t say I’m that pretty to get such a beautiful look from you,” Ichika redirected.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho huffed out, her embarrassment only intensifying. Ichika let out a light chuckle, looking out onto the distance.

 

“Is that the outpost?” Ichika questioned, pointing at a tall snow-adorned tower that stood out in the distance. This is it.

 

“…it is.” Shiho responded, looking over at it. It was so far away, and yet it felt so close. It was brandished with the light of the sun, standing tall for all to see.

 

Maybe they could get there before the rain. Maybe there was a chance. Maybe-

 

Ichika collapsed on the ground, an arrow dug into her shoulder.

 

“No,” Shiho choked out, looking down. Every inch of her body was filled with horror. “We were so close a-and-”

 

“Shi… ho?” Ichika whispered, her voice weak as she tried to get up. Shiho turned around, but the fog surrounded her. She instinctively unsheathed her sword, blocking any attackers from Ichika.

 

It felt too sudden. Too quick. Shiho wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run. But she made her vows.

 

“Ichika…!” Shiho hissed out, looking back for a split second at the arrow torn against Ichika’s flesh. “Stay behind me. Please,” Shiho begged.

 

“No, you’re not risking your life for me!” Ichika spat out, only to wince in pain from the wound. Blood drooled down her arm, from her shoulder to her fingertips, her eyes welled with tears.

 

“You’re hurt,” Shiho uttered, “I can’t watch you die.” Shiho’s voice shattered.

 

“I can’t lose you yet.”

 

Ichika looked at Shiho, dumbfounded and overwhelmed. But before she could speak, someone emerged from the fog.

 

“Ichi-chan? Shiho-chan?” Uttered an overwhelmed Honami, her pearlescent dress woven in the fog. there was something about her gaze that sent Shiho into an uncomfortable panic.

 

“You…!” Shiho hissed, her eyes blotched in malice. She bit back her tongue, knowing that any further words would simply prove useless to someone as insane as Honami.

 

“I don’t want to fight,” Honami stammered, waving her hands about frantically. “I… I just want to talk, p-please,”

 

Shiho unsheathed her sword, her breaths unsteady. “You don’t get that choice. Not after hurting Ichika.”

 

“Shiho-chan, I-” Honami began, but her words met with the metal of Shiho’s blade directed at her neck.

 

“They can’t be reasoned with, Mochizuki.” Cut in an unfamiliar tone, one embellished in the fog surrounding them. “You’ll… you’ll risk your life.”

 

“Haruka?” Ichika spat out recklessly, her eyes daunting around the fog. “You… brought others?”

 

“No, I’m not trying to threaten you guys!” Honami begged, stepping closer to Ichika. “Please, you’re my friends! Friends don’t hurt each other… right?”

 

“Surely you get it now, Mochizuki.” Shiho hollered. “You are no friend.”

 

Honami stood there, dumbfounded. Her eyes were blotched with tears, and her hands were shaking like tremors against her body.

 

“No.” Honami muttered. “Haha… you’re lying, it’s just a joke…” she laughed maniacally, her voice shrill and hoarse as she spluttered out mumblings of nonsense.

 

“Get a grip.” Shiho spat, scoffing at the sheer naiveté Honami displayed.

 

“…Shiho,” Honami spluttered, her eyes weakly gazing up. Instead of fear, her eyes rippled with insanity. ”why… don’t you want to be cured?”

 

“Cured?” Shiho inched her blade closer. “I’m not sick.”

 

“…” Honami didn’t move, only staring emotionlessly at Shiho. “Kiritani, kill them.”

 

“No!” Ichika screamed, but her arm kept her wilted and stagnant. Shiho’s heart rate shuffled into that of pure panic. She blinked, her mind shivering with static.

 

Against the fog emerged a fleet of soldiers, bearing familiar footsteps.

 

It was no hallucination.

 

It was no hallucination.

 

“Ichika, run.” Shiho begged; her sword held with dear life against her own horror. She wasn’t ready to witness the crimson floods once more. She remembered how weak and useless she felt. Now was no exception.

 

“Ichika, please…!” Shiho choked out, her eyes slowly slipping with tears manifested of terror and pain.

 

“No,” Ichika hissed, her eyes scanning the runes in the tome book. “Shiho, I’m no-”

 

A harrowing shriek of pain tore through Shiho’s senses, her body trembling with fear as she watched Ichika’s arm get mercilessly chopped off.

 

Ichika’s entire arm up to her shoulder was severed, laying limp in a pool of blood.

 

Shiho backed up, using her own instincts as a guide through the gulley of attacks headed her way. She bit back her discomfort, feeling the sharp steel on her flesh. But if she could give Ichika time to-

 

“Ichika, what are you still doing here?” Shiho yelled frantically, looking back at her lover painted in agony and maroon.

 

“I…!” Ichika hissed from the pain, clutching what was left of her arm. “I can’t lose you now, Shiho!!”

 

“You’re not losing me,” Shiho murmured, shoving her sword back and forth with the soldiers sparring her. “I- I’ll meet up later, okay?”

 

Shiho knew it was a lie. She knew that she would be killed here and now if she didn’t surrender.

 

But Shiho had a knack for lying, didn’t she?

 

“I love you, Ichika.” Shiho gave Ichika a bittersweet smile, trying to hold back her tears. She didn’t want to surrender, but she had to. “No matter how far we are.”

 

“…!” Shiho hissed, feeling the sharp edges of steel pierce through her torso, sending ripples of pain through her body. She swallowed back the iron-like taste in her mouth and regained her footing, hoping desperately that she’d make it out alive.

 

Shiho slowly began to notice the mediocrity of the soldiers’ skillset, and despite the fleet outnumbering her, only three soldiers were really doing something in terms of attacks. Once she realised this, she took a deep breath, letting her blade cleave the destruction that had once infected her.

 

Two of the soldiers tumbled to the dirt, while the others attempted to defend. Shiho knew the tactics well, so she didn’t choose to engage with the measly defences made.

 

“Honami,” Shiho spat out, her body turning constricted, exhausted of the fighting. “Why are you here only to laze around standing there?”

 

The rose-haired individual turned her empty eyes towards Shiho, her gaze almost unrecognisable. They’ve turned you into a weapon, Shiho realised. Like they almost did with Shizuku.

 

“…” Honami didn’t respond, her eyes fixated on something beyond Shiho’s comprehension, like she was reading through Shiho. She wanted to analyse her behaviour, but the soldiers changed from defence to offence easily.

 

Swarms of blades attempted to land against Shiho, but her body grew numb to the attempts. She limped her way over to Honami, trying to get a better look, but her eyes were dazed and her ears rung of metal. I just need to keep going, Shiho told herself, with those words being the only thing she could latch onto.

 

“Haruka-chan,” Honami whispered, her gaze locked onto Shiho. “A-are you able to…”

 

“Yes, Mage Mochizuki.” Haruka responded. Shiho tried to wrap her head around what was going on, but judging by the way Honami spoke, she seemed to have regained her humanity.

 

“What are you-” Shiho shouted, but her senses lulled into nothing as her body was pulled astray.

 

I’m sorry, Ichika, were the last words Shiho thought before the world became nothing more than a cage made of regret.

 

…

 

Whistles of water collapsed against Shiho, her body alit against the limbo. Shiho tried to snap herself out of her somnambulistic mind, but there was nothing to feel.

 

There was no footing to stand on, nor was there balance. There were only the waves and the sudden jolts wavering against Shiho’s vulnerable state. She could hear mumbling, but her mouth couldn’t articulate anything to comprehend. She felt stuck, her body wandering against the abyss.

 

Shiho knew her body was in a state of half consciousness, with her eyes a dead giveaway to the falsities she had been enduring. She could taste something in her mouth, but her body was paralysed. She couldn’t even feel her tongue in her mouth, or her eyes blinking.

 

Shiho’s body rippled through the waves, pushing her into a position she knew wasn’t physically possible without constraints. Maybe she was naïve to believe that when she was knocked out that they’d not use mind-altering substances to get her to oblige.

 

Maybe if Shiho could simply succumb to the pain of being toyed with would her mind be free from torment. But everywhere she went, torment would follow her.

 

Shiho only wondered if she could wake up. But if waking up meant facing reality, she didn’t know if it would be worth it.

Notes:

So uh recently the fake ass friends (For reference, i mentioned them in chapter 10's notes) Have started to try and befriend me again after like 8 months despite them ditching me for, and I quote, "Not talking enough" despite them mocking my trauma and triggering it and pretending that it wasn't a big deal. Now I'm not gonna bring up any kinda trauma dumping on Ao3 notes but like one of them put on their status about two minutes after re-adding me on snap saying "hey so y'all what's the worst thing that someone could do to you?" like it's not a dead giveaway of them wanting to befriend me back. I blocked them because I don't want to deal with what happened last time when someone re-added me and then harassed me so I just genuinely find it super funny that it was so out of the blue near christmas too and they probably expect me to give a shit bro... I'm just embarassed atp 😭😭

Chapter 28: Ichika's point of view

Notes:

I'm so sorry Ichika fans, I wrote this one last and after writing the same scene the third time in a row you can only Imagine how it feels like

Ichika twiddled her thumbs, following Shiho’s reckless yet precise movements against the muck of the marshlands. The sky was overcast and the air was sickly, but there was still a trek left to go.

 

Shiho’s eyes honed into her own mind, her body still caught in a state half-lucid half-hallucinatory. She had mentioned something about footsteps, but Ichika didn’t seem hear anything.

 

“We’re almost at the outposts, so there’s no need to stress out now.” Ichika comforted. “If anything ever happens, I’ll protect you.”

 

Shiho let out a small exhale, her eyes looking out at the horizon. “Same here, Ichi.”

 

Ichika already knew how capable Shiho was. She’d fight with tooth and nail to reach an impossible goal, even if it costed her life. But Ichika too had her own skills – and if it meant keeping the one she loved out of harm, she’d do so any day.

 

Shiho’s gaze began to switch, her eyes staring intently at Ichika. There was something so comforting to Ichika about how Shiho didn’t need any words to express her affection.

 

“Shiho chan,” Ichika noted, bringing attention to Shiho’s gaze. “You always look at me like that,”

 

Shiho’s eyes widened, her face distinct with the colour of red painting her insides. She glanced away, but her eyes always turned back towards Ichika.

 

“A-ah, right, I…” Shiho began, stammering her words. “Y-you’re just gorgeous, Ichika.”

 

“Me? Well, I wouldn’t say I’m that pretty to get such a beautiful look from you,” Ichika hummed, looking out at the distance. She could feel Shiho’s gaze on her.

 

Ichika’s eyes turned to a shadowed building in the distance. “Is that the outpost?” She questioned, pointing at the building so Shiho could confirm.

 

“…it is.” Shiho responded, looking over at it too. Ichika felt a wave of relief wash over her. She knew that it was still a long ways to go, but to know that it was there, and that she’d be-

 

“AAHHH!” Ichika screamed, her entire shoulder stricken with agony that burnt all over her body. She felt her blood drool from her hand down to her fingers, her arm growing numb from the sheer unadulterated pain she felt.

 

She limply tried to pull herself off of the ground, but the pain was too much. She couldn’t see anything but the fog, except Shiho’s body shielding her.

 

“Shi… ho?” Ichika uttered, her voice barely able to speak as tears streamed down her cheeks. She wanted to get up and fight alongside Shiho, but there was no chance of that happening. She could die if she wasn’t careful.

 

“Ichi-chan? Shiho-chan?” Uttered the unwavering voice of Honami. Ichika couldn’t tell what she was doing, too panic-stricken to respond.

 

“You…!” Shiho hissed, desperately protecting Ichika with her sword. While Ichika laid limp on the ground, she could still see an inch of Shiho’s blade outwardly directed.

 

“I don’t want to fight,” Honami stammered, her emotions so scattered that Ichika didn’t believe that her words were real. “I… I just want to talk, p-please,”

 

And judging by Shiho’s response, she wasn’t buying it either. “You don’t get that choice. Not after hurting Ichika.”

 

“Shiho-chan, I-” Honami began, but something Ichika couldn’t see cut the rose-haired mage’s sentence short.

 

“They can’t be reasoned with, Mochizuki.” Cut in a voice Ichika knew well. “You’ll… you’ll risk your life.”

 

“Haruka?” Ichika spat out recklessly, her eyes daunting around the fog despite not being able to see anything. “You… brought others?”

 

Panic took over Ichika’s body, causing her to use her non-damaged hand to pull herself up despite the pain, watching as soldiers slowly emerged from the fog.

 

One wrong move, and she’s dead.

 

One wrong move, and she’s DEAD.

 

Ichika’s mind began to overtake the battlefield noise, blurring out anything Shiho or Honami said with the sound of her heartbeat. She didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to die at all. She wanted to live a happy life with Shiho, spending her days learning the ancient runes she couldn’t and learning the festivals of the people of the White Alliance.

 

She had so much left in her life, and yet it could all be cut short now.

 

And yet… she stayed on the battlefield.

 

She wanted to stay with Shiho, no matter what it took. She needed to, not just for Shiho’s sake. That’s why she risked her life. That’s-

 

…Maybe Ichika shouldn’t’ve stayed.

 

Nausea overtook Ichika’s systems as she looked down at her severed arm, her entire limb lifelessly drooling out blood. Her entire arm, just over her elbow, was gone.

 

“Ichika, what are you still doing here?” Shiho yelled frantically, looking back at her lover painted in agony and maroon.

 

“I…!” Ichika hissed from the pain, clutching what was left of her arm. “I can’t lose you now, Shiho!!”

 

“You’re not losing me,” Shiho murmured, shoving her sword back and forth with the soldiers sparring her. “I- I’ll meet up later, okay?”

 

“I love you, Ichika.” Shiho gave Ichika a bittersweet smile, trying to hold back her tears. “No matter how far we are.”

 

Ichika knew that staying on the battlefield any longer would turn Shiho into a mess of a human being.

 

So, she ran.

Chapter 29: Honami's point of view

Notes:

I had so much fun making this, genuinely like idk how to explain it

Dirt rippled through the wind, anxieties staining the mage that knew the title didn’t deserve to be hers. Her rose-coloured hair trailed against the ever-looming path, burdening her every step with blind ambition. Ambition that she could not get rid of.

 

Honami let out a shaky breath, her eyes filled with fog as the soldiers behind her continued to follow her lead. Was she murdering these soldiers out of her grief? Was losing Ichika and Shiho truly worth the pain?

 

Yes. There wasn’t anything more she could wish for. To see the past she once adorned with bittersweetness to continue on, with the four of them. Saki promised her this. She promised that one day, they’d finally reunite. Then why did Ichika reject her offer?

 

“Mage Mochizuki,” Haruka observed, her brow furrowed as she looked into the distance. “I think… I sense them.” She uttered.

 

Honami closed her eyes. She couldn’t let her grief blind her affinity. Not when even the smallest speck of SoulDust could lead into finding her friends.

 

Honami opened her eyes, her heart palpitating as everything wilted into monotone shades. She knew that Ichika’s SoulDust was teal, and Shiho’s SoulDust was a deep blue. So, if she could pick up on even the fog’s recoloration, she’d get an answer.

 

Honami knew it was foggy, but her senses were overpowered with the thick grey colours emanating from her skin. All she needed was a hint of colour, an awakened crystalline sense that could be uncovered. Just something of colour, anything-

 

“…!” Honami’s eyes were bombarded with dark blue specks, almost painting the entire world in such a colour that she couldn’t stomach it. Not only was it vibrant, but it plagued Honami’s mind with vivid visions of countless travesties. Travesties Shiho had committed.

 

“Miss Kiritani,” Honami echoed, her voice thin. “Shoot.”

 

Shades of teal spluttered from the fog, accompanied with reckless screaming. She knew by the fluorescence of the SoulDust that Ichika was still alive.

 

Honami’s legs deigned, her hands sunken and resigned. All she wanted was to reach out and hug her friends, and beg for them to come back home. After all, they didn’t know the arrow was intentional, right?

 

“Ichi-chan? Shiho-chan?” Honami begged, seeing the two individuals stare at her with disbelief.

 

“YOU!” Shiho spat, her eyes wide as malice consumed her every fibre. The grey-haired knight gripped her sword with such voracity that Honami didn’t even know how to respond without getting murdered.

 

“I-I don’t want to fight, I…!” Honami gripped her swollen heart, looking out at someone she cared so much for reject her. Had she not done enough? Why did Shiho hate her? “I just want to talk, p-please…!” She shrieked.

 

“You don’t get that choice.” Shiho’s words only embroidered her hatred and agony. “Not after you hurt Ichika.”

 

“Shiho-chan, I-” Honami begged impulsively, reaching out her hand to approach her friend.

 

But that was a mistake.

 

Shiho’s sword inched closer to Honami, threatening her life. Shiho wasn’t hesitating. She was willing to murder Honami with a single prompt.

 

Shiho’s hatred had consumed her being to the point she couldn’t be cured from her past as a dark mage. She was… incurable.

 

Honami didn’t want to believe Shiho was incurable. She couldn’t accept that answer. It wasn’t possible. No, there had to be another way, Saki promised her that there was!

 

Haruka leaned in, pulling Honami back by the shoulder. “Mochizuki, They can’t be reasoned with. You… You’ll risk your life.”

 

“Haruka?” Ichika spat out recklessly, her eyes daunting around the fog. “You… brought others?”

 

“No, I’m not trying to threaten you guys!” Honami begged, stepping closer to Ichika. “Please, you’re my friends! Friends don’t hurt each other… right?”

 

“Surely you get it now, Mochizuki.”

 

“We are not friends.”

 

Honami stood there. Blood drained from her body as she limped backwards, her hands stretched to her eyes as she watched her whole world collapse to dust.

 

Honami remembered the days she’d spend picking flowers with the three of them, creating arrangements that they all knew wouldn’t last. She remembered watching Shiho train and learning about textile tactics that Shiho learnt from her sister. She remembered reuniting with Ichika after years, and learning about how she became Saki’s sworn sword.

 

But those memories meant nothing.

 

Those memories…

 

…Meant NOTHING.

 

EVERYTHING MEANT NOTHING.

 

“No.” Honami laughed, tear-stricken as her mind began to crumble into insanity. “Haha… you’re lying, it’s just a joke…” she laughed maniacally, her voice shrill and hoarse as she spluttered out mumblings of nonsense.

 

“Get a grip.” Shiho growled, her sword still resting a meter away from Honami’s neck.

 

Honami didn’t care if Shiho murdered her.

 

“…Shiho,” Honami whispered, her eyes wide as a crooked smile took her place, fulfilling her mind’s urges with bouts of insanity. “Why… why don’t you want to be cured?”

 

“Cured?” Shiho spat, her blade looking mighty nice to sink into Honami’s flesh. Not that Honami would object to being brutally murdered and stabbed. “I’m not sick.”

 

Something inside Honami switched, like a lever. She had a fleet of soldiers at her disposal.

 

“Haruka.” Honami smiled maniacally. “Kill them.”

 

Honami couldn’t stop her smile from growing as Ichika and Shiho begged, screaming and hissing and wishing for Honami to give them another chance.

 

But Honami wouldn’t free them from the confines of their hatred. She had given up curing both of them when Shiho had so much as opened her mouth.

 

“I’m gonna lock you up,” Honami giggled to herself. “And watch you suffer an agonising, slow death, fitting for a murderer.”

 

Honami was done with giving amnesty. There was no reason for her not to wish death upon the people that countlessly murdered hundreds of people, committing treason sheerly to make a point of themselves, thinking they could get away with it.

 

It didn’t matter to her if Ichika ran away, or if Shiho had murdered yet another Tenma soldier. All she cared about was the look of fear as Shiho was detained and drugged into a paralysis.

 

Saki was right. Shiho couldn’t be trusted.

Chapter 30

Notes:

Merry Christmas everyone!! I, Alister, will bestow all of you with a Christmas present, known as this chapter here! If you don’t celebrate Christmas, think of this chapter as a gift. (To be honest compared to the next chapter it really is one)

Ichika’s breaths ran thin as she heaved in air, her legs aching in agony. Every muscle felt horrific, the sheer sensation trailing up to Ichika’s spine with every step.

 

Every avenue was fog. Every step was fog. Every inch of her being was etched in fog like engraved steel patterns.

 

“Anyone…!” Ichika hissed through the pain, clutching to the gaping wound that swelled in her own disparity. The surface of her skin was painted with her guts, her eyes swollen with tears as she let out a shaken huff of air.

 

Ichika could feel the rain against her back, the clouds coursing her skin with the drainage of the maroon with the clear liquid of water. She let out an aching shiver, her hair stuck to her neck. But she had to press on for Shiho.

 

“Please,” she whispered. She didn’t have the heart to scream. “Someone, please…!”

 

Ichika wilted to her knees, unable to succumb to the agony. She tried desperately to pull her sunken body out of the mud, but her flesh simply collapsed in the dirt. Her hands were shaking, barely able to even hold herself up.

 

“No.” Ichika swallowed back her sobs. “NO…!”

 

Ichika wouldn’t let herself collapse. She couldn’t. Shiho had given her a chance to survive. A chance to live in peace, free of judgement.

 

But she’d still do despicable things to fight for Shiho. She’d do anything for Shiho. Yet, everything has its balance, and Shiho gave her freedom for Ichika.

 

She’ll come back. And if she doesn’t, I’ll find her.

 

I can’t die here.

 

Ichika screeched in agony as her body arched upwards, her trek continuing through the pain that laced her every step. She didn’t want to feel the pain of taking Shiho’s promise for granted. Taking her own life for granted. So she pushed through.

 

Ichika began to sprint, her arm throbbing, the pain inflaming her insides from over-exhaustion. She felt the incessant urge to scream, to lay in the mud and succumb, but she couldn’t.

 

Keep running, Ichika told herself. Keep going. Keep-

 

“…!” Ichika stumbled to the ground, landing with a shuddering thud.

 

“A-are you okay?!” Shrieked a whispery voice that echoed the utmost concern that Ichika could even consciously consume.

 

“I… I…!” Ichika strained, trying to pull herself up from the mud again, before collapsing in sobs.

 

“Here, take my hand,” the woman uttered, reaching out one of her free hands. Ichika reached out with her hand, but there was no hand.

 

“Shit, Shit!” Ichika hissed, looking at what she had lost.

 

The woman didn’t give up on Ichika, instead gently pulling her out of the mud using the remaining flesh of her hand, even though her hand would now be stained in Ichika’s blood.

 

“I need to go to the White Alliance,” Ichika began, frantically looking out at the expanse that didn’t include the fog clouding her vision. “Do you know anyone that-”

 

The woman placed her hand on Ichika’s shoulder. “I’ll take you there.”

 

“What?”

 

The woman stepped into the fog, leading Ichika towards something. The woman climbed atop what seemed to be an equestrian of some kind.

 

Ichika stumbled forward, her eyes wide. The woman reached out her hand with a determined expression locked against her face. Ichika didn’t know how to react, her mind lost in denial. “…are you really sure?”

 

“You’re wounded. And I… I can’t watch my people suffer.” She exhaled, her expression still just as stern.

 

“Your… people?” Ichika questioned. Ichika was a Tenma Soldier. Well, she used to be. She was a nomad, hoping to get into the White Knights.

 

And yet, this woman accepted her as a White Knight without a single question.

 

“I enforce the laws of the White Alliance,” the woman elaborated. “And I know that s- …the commander would want me to help any soldier.”

 

The commander. Shiho.

 

“You know Shiho-chan?” Ichika quipped, but not before making her way up to the horse.

 

The woman redirected the equestrian towards the area with the least amount of fog, with the horse running at such a speed that Ichika had to grab hold of the woman’s uniform.

 

“Ah, of course,” the woman let out a gentle chuckle. “…wait, how do you know Shiho?”

 

“She saved my life. And I…” I’m in love with her. “I’m eternally grateful.”

 

The woman let out a small chuckle of air. “As expected. You must’ve come from the Tenma Kingdom, then.”

 

“Yeah,” Ichika sighed. She didn’t want to admit it.

 

“You’re not the one who threatened to murder Shiho, were you?”

 

“…No. I was weary of her when I first met her, cause the person that was threatening her life was a friend of mine.”

 

“Who was that friend?” The woman’s voice turned cold, almost intimidatingly so.

 

“Princess Saki Tenma.” Ichika let out a shudder of pain. “Because of her, I’ve been falsely convicted of murder, exiled, and hunted down. A-and now, they’ve taken the one person I love.”

 

Ichika didn’t know why she was confiding the truth to this woman, but there was something to the woman that reminded her of Shiho.

 

“It’s okay,” the woman reassured. “Everything will be okay.”

 

Ichika nodded. She was alive, and being taken to somewhere safe. Shiho’s actions weren’t in vain.

 

Ichika lulled herself with the sway of the horse running across the marsh, the gentle winds brushing across her forehead.

 

Her body yearned for rest, her every muscle still aching from the agony. But this time, she wasn’t afraid and overwhelmed.

 

She was safe, and was allowed to fall asleep. So, her eyes slumped dazedly, and she finally gave herself the comfort of rest.

 

…

 

Ichika’s eyes slowly opened from her slumber, her body wrapped against a blanket that gave her as many options as she needed to rest comfortably. She looked down at her lost appendage, seeing the entire area bandaged, and… glowing?

 

“Ah, you’re awake,” commented the woman, her hand illuminating with cerulean light. “You seemed restless last night, so I thought that stimulating your circulation and helping the wound heal would do well.”

 

“Are you a… mage?” Ichika questioned. She had only seen herself perform spells. “What’s your affinity?”

 

“So it seems that Shiho taught you about affinities.” The woman laughed warmly. “I have a water affinity, fitting for a light mage.”

 

Ichika shuffled in her blanket, sitting upwards. “I, uh, have a celestial affinity.”

 

The woman’s calm demeanour dropped, her eyes now wide and her smile matching her awe.

 

“Ah! I’ve never met someone with such a rare affinity,” she chimed. “To know you were hiding in the Tenma kingdom all this time,”

 

“Well, I… don’t know exactly what it means to have this affinity.” Ichika looked down at her hand. “I don’t even know how affinities work, to be honest.”

 

“It may have something to do with your SoulDust,” the woman hummed.

 

“Soul… dust?” Ichika questioned.

 

“It’s inside your blood, like a tiny person inside you,” the woman romanticised. “It acts like its own person…”

 

Ichika cleared her throat, confused and alarmed. She knew her phrasing wasn’t literal, but Ichika couldn’t help but think of it that way.

 

“Ah, right,” the woman turned her attention back to Ichika. “What is your name?”

 

Ichika looked up. They didn’t exchange names. “I-I’m Ichika Hoshino.” She exhaled nervously. “what’s yours?”

 

The woman let out a small flutter of laughter.

 

“Shizuku Hinomori.”

 

Notes:

Next chapter is Shiho’s POV. You know what that means.

Saki’s back in action.

Chapter 31

Notes:

literally wrote this in 2 hours. Man it aint detailed but i sure as hell can visualize it

Shiho’s mouth ran dry, her arms clasped against cuffs that chained her back in the estranged cell. She let out a low groan, her body waning from what she could only assume was a hangover.

 

Sickness flooded through her veins, her stomach recoiling in discomfort, sending bile to her throat and forcing her to swallow it. Her every movement felt nauseating, with the chains tearing against her chest only substantiating the ill feelings.

 

Shiho felt someone’s eyes on her, despite her vision being clouded and broken. She felt weak, like a caged bird unable to fly.

 

“What do you want?” Shiho spat out, her eyelids shutting her eyes, her throat tearing itself apart with every word that rasped out of her.

 

“I am not here under the princess’ orders.” Muttered the estranged individual that claimed to be a visitor.

 

“Then why the hell are you here?” Shiho questioned. She felt the stifling hesitation of the individual on the other side of the bars, but she didn’t care about it.

 

“I want to talk about Hoshino.” They uttered.

 

“No!” Shiho shouted. She didn’t want to talk about Ichika. She didn’t want to remember how she left her to die.

 

Shiho didn’t want to realise she’d never see Ichika again.

 

“I don’t know shit about Ichika! Stop pursuing her!” Shiho screeched, her body violently shaking against the chains.

 

“…I didn’t think you’d react like this.” The visitor commented. “I’m… sorry.”

 

“Get out.” Shiho hollered, saliva trailing down her chin. “Get out!”

 

“We’re not hunting her, Hinomori.” The visitor beckoned, trying to reason with Shiho.

 

“Liar,” Shiho snapped. “You’re only keeping me alive to make me suffer.”

 

“Did she kill Kamishiro?”

 

Shiho knew that the visitor would ask this. She knew that it was inevitable. That’s why Shiho was sitting in a cell – because Shiho was allying with a wanted criminal.

 

Shiho responded with aggression. “You don’t give two shits about Ichika’s life!”

 

“You all act like you didn’t exile her even though she was framed, and then you hunt her without a verdict. You all ruined her life, and for what? To- to kill her? To-”

 

“-Mage Mochizuki gave her a chance,”

 

“Mage Mochizuki is insane,” Shiho spat. “And she’ll murder anyone who gets in her way.”

 

“I know!”

 

The visitor’s breaths became audible to Shiho. The visitor was… panicking. But why?

 

“I-I know she’ll kill me.” The visitor hissed out. “I know Hoshino didn’t kill him. It’s not like her. And yet, I still hurt her.”

 

“Why are you even saying this?” Shiho scoffed. “To make me sympathise? To kill me? To watch me suffer?”

 

“No, Hinomori.” The visitor uttered sternly. “I want to thank you.”

 

“What?” Shiho’s body became tense. She knew where this was going.

 

“You’re gonna execute me.” Shiho realised. “So you’re saying this before I die.”

 

The visitor let out a shaky sigh. “It’s the opposite. I… I will tell Airi that you’re here.” They muttered. “And I don’t know if I’ll make it out alive.”

 

Shiho’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

 

“I’m going to free you.”

 

Shiho’s chains continued to pull at her muscles, her illnesses only growing. Maybe she was hallucinating.

 

“Wh…” Shiho began, but there was no longer any eyes on her. She could feel that any presence that was there wasn’t anymore.

 

Shiho threw her head down biting back the pain that welled in her chest. Why did her brain forsake her? Was it truly another hallucination? Why did it try to give her hope?

 

Shiho didn’t want to live with lies surrounding her mind, alone, belittled. She knew all too well that every inch of her being was surrounded in half-truths.

 

In all honesty, Shiho was afraid. She was aware that she’d die.

 

Maybe she was already dead, simply watching the world continue around her.

 

No one but Ichika would sacrifice themselves for her. No visitor would see her rotting corpse-like self. No one would want her to live.

 

Why couldn’t she have just admitted to killing Kamishiro? Why did she run out the castle walls just to find her sister? Why was she so selfish?

 

Shiho yearned to see Ichika’s face. She begged for even a moment where she could hold the one she loved. The one that saw her beyond the travesties she had committed. But now, that person would soon die by her own doing.

 

“…Shiho?” Uttered a unique tone of voice that Shiho hadn’t heard in a long time.

 

Shiho tried to look around, but her eyes only continued to deceive, and her body wilted like a withering flower with every movement. She felt useless.

 

“Kaito, why…” Shiho began, but her voice trailed off when she saw the god stand in front of her.

 

“I felt your pain.” He uttered, looking out onto the distance. “It was… conflicting, and I felt like you might need me.”

 

Shiho inhaled a sharp breath of air. “Kaito, I killed her.” She hissed out. “I-I’ve killed Ichika.”

 

“No,” Kaito hummed, placing a hand under his chin. “Her stars still align with yours.” He commented.

 

“But I…” Shiho’s muscles grew tense. “I lied to her. And I’ll…”

 

“Don’t give up, Shiho.” Kaito uttered, his eyes fixated on Shiho. “You will live.”

 

Shiho was about to protest, but the blue-tinged god vanished without a trace, leaving Shiho’s mind questioning everything.

 

But… Ichika was alive.

 

Shiho could fulfil her promise.

Notes:

Every time I write Leo/need Kaito and it feels out of character I just tell myself "how do I make him more babygirl" and it works wonders

Also this was not supposed to release so quickly after the last chapter but me and plot disguised as filler go hand in hand

Chapter 32

Notes:

Don’t tier. Just in general. I have no idea why I did it for Kana4 on ENSekai but I did. Got T500. I’m so tired. I’m so, so tired. But I have angst to write. And write I shall.

EDIT: Shout out to Strange_dange for pointing out some of the issues with this chapter, which has been rewritten. Dw nothings changed drastically, everything is still all good!!

Like the clink of shards of glass, weaving beneath the ebb and flow of the universe, Saki stood parallel to it. She herself had created nothing more than a flightless bird that was in no way able to stop trying.

 

Saki held her head high as she approached the cell where someone she once called friend remained. Someone who would either end up dead, or a nomad.

 

“Shiho-chan…?” Saki whispered, her eyes gazing desperately at her friend. She didn’t want to see Shiho like this. She didn’t want to torture her friend and lock her up. She wanted to spend time with Shiho and let her free.

 

But Shiho would end up murdering more people if Saki let her free. And despite how desperately she wanted Shiho to change for the better, she couldn’t help but put the blame on herself.

 

Shiho remained silent, but the chains latched to her wrists jingled unnaturally, leaving a bitter taste in Saki’s mouth. She tried to keep her eyes on Shiho, but the crusts of blood and the oxidised iron made the sight almost eldritch.

 

“Get out, Tenma.” Shiho rasped, her emerald eyes now open, staring right back at Saki. Shadows coaxed Shiho’s demented figure, her eyes sunken and lost, akin to a wild animal outside its habitat.

 

“Get out!” Shiho snarled. “You don’t get to be here. Y-you…” Shiho’s voice leaped into action, screeching despite how hoarse her tone sounded, despite the pain that welled in her organs.

 

“You know why Ichika k-killed him,” Saki huffed out, her hands shaking against the rattling bars that she wrapped her fingers against. “You know-”

 

“I killed him.” Shiho remarked. “Ichika… she’s innocent.”

 

Saki staggered back. She knew that Ichika wouldn’t be the one who killed him, but was the only answer… but for it to be Shiho?

 

“Why?” Saki begged, despite how redundant she sounded. “I-If you really killed him…” saki grimaced, “Th-then why?”

 

“To survive.” Shiho answered. It was a tone that Saki had never heard Shiho emit. It was defeated. Cold. Depressing.

 

“What,” Saki let out a choking breath. “No, he wouldn’t threaten anyone. I-Is this because he used to be a dark mage?”

 

“You don’t need these answers.” Shiho spat out, fed up with Saki’s mindless begging. “As long as you keep Ichika out-”

 

“Ichika…” Saki looked down at her hands. “Wh-why…” Saki mumbled, her voice trembling. “Why…?” She hissed, her throat sore with the pain of hiding her own emotions. She desperately wanted to cry, to beg to Shiho, but she knew that her emotions meant nothing to Shiho.

 

Saki was never used to not knowing. She always knew why everything happened. Not this time. This time, all the answers were hidden from her.

 

“D-did you kill him because of… Miu?” Saki wondered, looking beyond the bars and chains that concealed Shiho.

 

 

“Don’t you remember how she died?” Shiho hissed, her words travelling from Shiho’s mouth to Saki’s mind. “You murdered her! YOU!”

 

“Stop acting like I had a choice!” Saki exclaimed, begging to Shiho that she’d see beyond the blind grief that carried her.

 

“But you DID!” Shiho let out a grimace of agony. “…A-and now, she’s dead.”

 

“…” Saki let out a choked sob. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

 

“Quit it with the lies, Tenma!” Shiho grovelled, sending Saki’s tears down to her cheeks.

 

Shiho let out a fake laugh. “Are you frustrated I stole Ichika from you?” Shiho muttered, spitting out her worlds like the hissing snarl of a snake. “Is that what this is?”

 

The blonde-haired princess’ eyes widened. I… I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t do anything.

 

“This isn’t about Ichika, I…” Saki uttered, despite her wishes not to even bring her previous knight up.

 

“Then why frame her?” Shiho’s emerald eyes delved into Saki’s depths, her body trembling with every word that left Shiho’s lips.

 

Saki looked at her hands – hands that didn’t feel like hers.

 

She questioned, and questioned, and questioned… and yet, there was no answer.

 

She would always be cursed. And Shiho… she would always remind Saki of her inhumanity.

 

“…I-I don’t know.” Saki uttered. “I… I wish I could tell you, Shiho-chan-”

 

“-Shut up! I don’t care about these- these pathetic excuses!” Shiho snapped back. “You’re still the same person you’ve always been, Tenma. You’ll always find some stupid way to ruin our lives!”

 

Saki looked back at Shiho. She didn’t know what to do. She knew it would control her again.

 

Would she rather be seen as a sociopath than a demon?

 

…

 

Yes.

 

“Even if they are excuses,” Saki heaved in a breath of air, I can’t control it. They control me. “It doesn’t mean you get to kill Kamishiro,” Because I’m afraid of what it will do to me.

 

”I’m sorry, Shiho,” Saki uttered, even if Shiho didn’t believe it was genuine. She wanted to speak to Shiho, to know why Shiho was the ways she was, but she had to leave. She couldn’t let herself thrash about towards someone who didn’t want her there.

 

Saki fled the cell ducts, her eyes sewn shut. She could feel the judgement of Shiho radiating against her as she climbed atop the stairs.

 

Her mind continued to ring. Why was I born like this? Why wasn’t there an explanation to it all? What am I doing?

 

Saki wished she could tell someone. She wished she could confide in someone. She wished that there was someone-

 

“Saki-chan?” Gasped a rose-haired tailor mage that simply glimpsed at the blonde princess. Her crystalline eyes daunted over to Saki’s overwhelmed complexion, swaying gently as Honami made her way over to the princess.

 

“Hona-chan, I…” Saki’s eyes shut out of panic, the judgement of all those she had wronged filling her mind, shouting, grinding at her morality until she was nothing more than a trembling mess.

 

“I have something to tell you.”

 

Notes:

Me when I’ve created the most interesting, character driven plot that all focuses on perspective and knowledge and there is no one villain:

Man I love this job (that I don’t get paid for)

Chapter 33

Notes:

I’ve recently realised while reading Houseki No Kuni (Land of the Lustrous) that Ichika’s main character arc was retconning Phos’ character arc, so when I did end up changing some details I then noticed it retconned the legend of Zelda and the Goddess Hylia (kinda) and now I’ve had to rewrite her entire arc three whole times only to realise it was too depressing. So if you notice any details that take inspiration from other media I’ve most likely accidentally retconned it and yoinked details from the character arc.

Damnit Ichika why are you so complex I swear to Miku

Ichika’s eyes loomed across the horizon, peaking at the dusk. She was walking, but she didn’t know where. Blades of grass and snowflakes dewed across her skin, her hair blocking her eyes. There was no light, only the soft pattering of her footsteps.

 

“Where am I?” Ichika asked, looking down at her hands. Both of them were in tact. Her arm… was still there.

 

“Am I…” she uttered, looking up, her eyes trying to focus onto something. But there was nothing there.

 

“…Ichika?”

 

The azure-haired knight whisked her eyes to the direction of the noise, the voice so familiar that it was almost daunting to hear.

 

There, beyond the ever-looming shadows, pulled back the emerald eyes of her beloved. Except, this time, there was a distinct fear accompanied with the figure before Ichika.

 

“I-I didn’t know if you were alive.” Shiho murmured, approaching Ichika’s lost and torn body. “I’m here to take us home. Saki’s been waiting for you.”

 

Ichika looked at the effortlessly emotionless eyes of Shiho’s, her own body trembling. “Saki? Didn’t she… try to kill me?”

 

“No…?” Shiho frowned, her eyes cast in darkened shadows, bleeding from her pores to her flesh and bone.

 

“You’re acting strange.” Ichika murmured.

 

“Shut your mouth.” Shiho hollered. “You don’t get to act like such a whiny child.”

 

Ichika swallowed her saliva, almost choking on air. “What?” She begged; her lips pursed so tight that she could feel the skin turn numb.

 

“Pathetic…” Shiho whispered, her eyes wide, a freakish smile warping her already discomforting face. “Ah, how pathetic!”

 

The light inside Shiho’s eyes began to fade, with Ichika’s body trembling with every step. Shiho’s skin began to ripple, tearing open, leaving crimson splattered against the ground. “You’re so pathetic, you should just die!”

 

Ichika let out a screeching cry, but her throat didn’t allow her to speak. She watched as the one she loved most warped and swarmed her with tendrils of raw flesh and manifestations of bones that plunged against her.

 

Ichika didn’t know what to do. She felt every bit of her life be swallowed from her body and into nothing more than a monster. She felt blood wrap against her clothes and stain her ugly-visioned eyes. She witnessed nothing more than an eldritch horror consume her organs.

 

“Ah, Ichika…” the hollow and twisted voice of Shiho cooed.

 

“I never loved you.”

 

Ichika’s eyes snapped open to reveal Shizuku, Shiho’s sister, hovering over her.

 

Ichika looked around, her head spinning, her breaths irregular as she tried to think of what happened. No – that wasn’t real, she thought to herself. But her forehead still drained with sweat and her body was still limp and uncomfortable.

 

Ichika could feel the air drain from her lungs. What am I doing? I’m supposed to be finding Shiho, not lazing around!

 

“Miss Ichika, you seemed to have fallen asleep there. You looked uncomfortable – are you alright?” The considerate mage questioned, who was propped in front of Ichika, shooing away some form of informant.

 

“Ah, I uhm… had a nightmare.” Ichika answered, if a bit frantically. Her mind plagued her with the remembrance of watching Shiho succumb to an army that stole her away. She could only now wonder what the horrors could behold Shiho’s unforgiving circumstance.

 

“That’s not good,” Shizuku recounted. “I’m sorry for asking.”

 

Ichika wondered if Shiho too felt the absence of Ichika. Maybe Ichika was just… dependant on Shiho.

 

Did that make her weak? No. She always was weak.

 

She needed to learn. To understand. To get rid of the sword that stood in her way. To prove that the Tenma army was no match to her.

 

“Shizuku, do you know any… runes that My affinity works with?” Ichika asked, slotting herself out of her chair to stand up. She needed to use her muscles now that she couldn’t rely on her arm.

 

Would she ever be enough?

 

Was being herself enough?

 

…

 

No.

 

“Hm,” The ethereal woman hummed, her ice blue hair strummed across her face as she gazed into the distance. “…Have you tried truth runes? Or more social runes?”

 

“I… don’t think so.” Ichika looked back. “But I don’t think those relate to a celestial affinity.”

 

“Ah, right, you’re a celestial-based mage,” Shizuku murmured. “You could try reading into memories, but… that’s a bit tiring,” She added.

 

“I’ll do it.” Ichika snapped, her eyes narrow. Bargain, barter, beg… she’d do this to protect the people she loved. Ichika needed to.

 

She couldn’t lose anyone again. Not until the world itself imploded to her will, until the constellations in the sky shattered like fireworks of raw destruction. She was done being a waste simply standing near the path of the gods. No longer was she a dreamer, for her eyes viewed the purity of the impure.

 

And the one who took everything from her… the one she once treasured so desperately… would be slain by her hand.

 

“Tell me, show me how to do that.” Ichika interrogated, her body tense as she trembled out her words. She couldn’t contain her own pain.

 

She’d shatter, yes, but who said that breaking for the sake of love was ever bad?

 

“Ah, to have such determination,” Shizuku reminisced, before turning her thoughts to the process of explaining such a rune.

 

“Well, then…” Shizuku uttered, a stern expression painted on her features. She looked out onto the horizon, pondering the best way to present the rune to Ichika.

 

“Reach out your hand and… feel. It’s one of the techniques that doesn’t require a rune saying along with it, hehe.”

 

Ichika looked at Shizuku for a second, before realising there wasn’t exactly any other way that Shizuku could present it. So, she reached out her hand, anticipating something to happen.

 

But nothing did happen.

 

Ichika let out a sigh of air, her body slowly slumping back into a relaxed state. I won’t become any stronger if I force myself to. Ichika realised. Besides, if I stress like this too much, I’ll just tire myself out. Then I won’t prove anyone wrong.

 

Ichika stared, her eyes losing focus, her body sulking, her other arm almost begging to switch in. Ichika looked back at the cast that wrapped against her fragile skin, her eyes drawn to the sight of her wounded arm. Maybe it’s worth a shot, Ichika thought to herself.

 

Ichika resumed the process of ‘feeling’, using her amputated arm to do so. She knew the results wouldn’t be immediate, but she did feel a small twinge of dissatisfaction when silence resumed to plague her.

 

“…Trouble focussing?” Uttered an electronic voice emanating of crystalline essence. “Why not… think of something important to you?”

 

Ichika wanted to respond, but when she was in the room with someone, speaking to the Creator Miku would prove as… odd, to say the least. So, she chose to trust in Miku’s words.

 

Ichika grappled with her ideas of ‘something important’, trying to find the best envoy to her ploy of activating her internal affinities’ conflict with her. She couldn’t help but remember Shiho – such a person being her girlfriend of all people.

 

“I love you Ichika.”

 

Those were Shiho’s last words.

 

Ichika felt that moment engrained in her sense of being. She felt the pain of losing Shiho, and the desperation of not being able to save her. She felt the weakness in her heart continue to stem, too. She felt it all.

 

Would she ever be able to utter such words back?

 

Why did it hurt to remember?

 

Why wasn’t she strong enough to save Shiho from her mistakes?

 

Ichika looked back at her hand – or rather, the empty space left behind by the wound. But something looked different around her.

 

Shadows painted the room, with the distinct sound of pattering footsteps. Ichika turned her head, seeing what seemed to be a doctorate facility from the bandaged patients draped inside the lofts. Ichika carefully approached one of the beds where the doctor was left.

 

Against the bed frame was a pale looking kid, just younger than Ichika herself. The kid sported a gentle green colour of hair, which trailed from their shoulders to every inch of the bed. Their eyes were clear and bright, with a colour Ichika couldn’t identify due to the soulless emotion that their gaze emitted.

 

“I…” the kid spluttered, looking over at the doctor, their voice weak. “I don’t want to die.”

 

Ichika looked back at the kid, pressing her hand against the kid’s forehead, now finally noticing something irregular.

 

Her hand was laced with stardust, glittering with deep blue diamond-like gleam.

 

She looked like a God.

 

Ichika stared at the child, wondering who they were, and why she was even there. But the desperation, the sudden grief and wish to be stronger… maybe it resonated with this child.

 

“I’m sorry, kiddo.” The doctor sighed, looking out into the distance. There was something about the hollow feelings that withheld the doctor together that made Ichika want to step back and question if the doctor even had empathy.

 

Ichika focussed on the child’s eyes, which slowly faded into soulless husks of nothing more than shells of what the child used to be.

 

That’s what Ichika would’ve become. And yet… she still lived.

 

Despite everything, she didn’t die.

 

Maybe that was godly in itself – finding the strength to continue despite the horrors that she had witnessed. Despite the reality-shattering things that had broken her into several mirrors of herself. Despite the warnings and the pain she’d endure for living a life she wanted.

 

Maybe, one day, she’d become the saviour that protected the lives of others.

 

Maybe.

 

Ichika knew that powerlessness was something she struggled with – but to watch it consume someone to death wasn’t something she wanted to view. And yet, she still watched as the child was scooped into the arms of the doctor and disposed of.

 

Life was precious – that much was true. But to watch it be taken away for nothing more than circumstance was fleeting.

 

Ichika looked back at her hand, the glimmering light tracing upon it, a gradient of bright blue flooding into her skin like scales. She felt her emotions trace through her physical presence, from the root of her despair to her ingrained determination.

 

“Ichika?” questioned the voice of Shizuku, who brought Ichika back into her reality. Light gleamed from the windows, a yellow hue wrapping the room in something other than dusks.

 

Ichika looked at her hand – it was no longer glowing.

 

“I, uh, think that actually worked.” Ichika scoffed, turning her hand, staring at the peach-coloured skin that reflected across her gaze. “But I… I still don’t know what it means.”

 

“Ah, I get it!” Shizuku hummed enthusiastically, her arms clasped together harmoniously. “Your affinity allows you to take a separate form,” Shizuku deduced.

 

“…huh?” Ichika questioned. “Is that like the glow that my hand had?”

 

Shizuku gave Ichika a nod. “So it seems that we’ve figured it out.” She grinned.

 

Ichika looked up at Shizuku, seeing the ambient naïveté that wrapped against her complexion. After a week of spending time in the White Alliance, Ichika had recently learnt just how much the domain relied on Shiho.

 

“Shizuku, I…” Ichika mumbled, her heart pounding against her chest. “Shiho was the one who helped me travel here.”

 

Shizuku looked at Ichika, clearly not putting the pieces together. “You must be close with Shii-chan, then.”

 

“…” Ichika didn’t have the heart to tell Shizuku. Maybe it’s better off that way, Ichika deducted.

 

“I want to see her again, when I’ve recovered.” Ichika let out as a half-truth. “But before that, I…”

 

“I want to become a White Knight.”

Notes:

I’VE FIGURED OUT ICHIKA’S NEXT CHARACTER ARC LETS GO

wait I just realised it’s the same arc as the last one DAMNIT

uh uhh White Knight Ichika confirmed?? *NOT CLICKBAIT*

Chapter 34

Notes:

Why am I only now realising that Miu has a last name. Her name is literally ‘Takagi Miu’ and I genuinely didn’t know.

Also, I’ve recently updated chapter 32 (or 31, whichever has the Saki POV) to be more in character with Saki in-game. The biggest sin I can commit in fanfiction is writing characters out of character, so that was fixed if it rubbed any of y’all the wrong way. If I do accidentally write any characters out of character, please do tell me. I won’t get mad at all if you do mention it - honestly, I’d prefer if it was called out so that I can fix it. It’ll literally only take about 30mins to an hour to fix, and I want to make sure that every chapter is as enjoyable as possible for all the ichishiho fans (I know we don’t get much content, so as a weekly source of Ichishiho food, I want to make sure it’s chef quality)

Shiho’s eyes wandered beyond the bars, agony tracing her skin. She let out a shiver of agony, her body tense as she tried to think. Her mind rattled and flaked, shimmering like the sea floor, bubbling and rising like oxygen.

 

Shiho didn’t know why she was kept alive. Her body was rotting from blood loss, and the only thing she could do was eat the samples she was given, which were most likely drugged. She didn’t have a choice, though.

 

Her only wish was that Ichika would stay alive, and Kaito hadn’t shown up yet to break the bad news. In all honesty, Shiho lost hope.

 

She didn’t even consider her situation ‘living’. She just stared out into the void as water she knew as her blood pooled at her feet, just as her hallucinations predicted.

 

Shiho let out a grimace of pain, feeling someone surrounding her again. Eyes in all directions, ripe for the judgement, operating on her autonomy.

 

“Tenma, if you’re back-” Shiho snapped, her body twinging with pain as the shackles dug into her skin. But when she saw the person, they were bent down, accompanied by the sound of jingling steel.

 

“Shh,” the person whispered. “if we get caught-”

 

“…Momoi?” Shiho rasped, her vision watery as she stared out into what she could only seem was fragments. Everything around her was a blur - her blood was covered in shadows, her shackles were invisible to her gaze, and the bars blocked any light that entered the cell.

 

Shiho could only imagine how horrific she must’ve looked. Battered and bruised, pale and hallucinogenic.

 

Shiho looked out, seeing Airi emerge from the outside of the cell to the inside, standing before Shiho.

 

Except, it wasn’t Momoi. It was a girl with long brown hair, undertones with a cascading blonde.

 

“Lorelei?” Shiho spluttered out. “H-how did you…”

 

“I guess I can quit it with the codenames,” she sighed, her voice still noticeably encouraging, almost like her smile was imbedded in her tone. “Call me Iori.”

 

Shiho couldn’t utter a response, only twisting her shackles as a form of acknowledgement. Her body writhed under the agony, tainted with the stench of blood and iron, but despite it all, Iori still helped Shiho out.

 

“I heard from one of the knights that you were here,” Iori began while fiddling with one of the locks. “Saku reported the situation back to us, and the princess and most of the knights are off duty right now.”

 

Iori let out a small laugh after the shackle on Shiho’s left leg cascaded with the floor. “One of the Tenma soldiers and the White Knights commissioned me, so it’s kinda interesting seeing you here.”

 

Shiho didn’t respond, and Iori didn’t pressure her.

 

“I don’t know how you got into this situation,” Iori sighed, getting off the shackle against Shiho’s right leg. “But as someone from Shinonome, hostages are forbidden.”

 

“You’re… from Shinonome?” Shiho coughed out, her body slowly reaching solid ground, but her arms still rested in shackles.

 

“Yeah. The princess has just been engaged with a previous solider from Tenma, so that’s why I’m here,” the brown-haired mercenary let out a scoff. “And because I felt like it.”

 

Shiho felt her arms finally being released from the chains, her body now limp as she fell to the ground. Her muscles strained, attempting to get up, but she could still feel the chains’ phantom-like force despite being free from its clasps.

 

“…!” Shiho let out a hiss of pain as Iori traced her hand against Shiho’s shoulder, pulling Shiho upwards. Shiho wanted to thank the mercenary who was helping her, but her throat couldn’t let any words trickle from her lips.

 

“Easy there, Hinomori.” Iori let out a light chuckle, her eyes spotting around for any inconsistencies. “The people who commissioned me said that they’d pick you up.”

 

Shiho’s eyes could barely focus on the sunlight, tracing the world bleakly as she tried to gain hold of something that she knew. She wondered where Ichika would be - if she too was captured by Honami. Or if she was-

 

“Damnit,” Iori spat out, her brows furrowed. “They’ve locked the exits.”

 

Shiho tried to look out, but there was nothing. Her muscles could barely pull themselves together, screeching in agony every time she moved an inch.

 

“Are they…” Shiho scrambled, her eyes alit with pain. The world washed around her, colours blurring in two, her skin writhing apart. “Am I…?”

 

“It’s okay,” Iori coaxed, stringing Shiho along the path of something. “Just a… detour. Don’t stress out, ‘Kay?”

 

Shiho gave Iori a firm nod, but she didn’t know if her body was even able to move. Everything was either numb or screaming in agony.

 

“Oh. Huh, didn’t expect that.” Iori muttered to herself, stopping to a halt. “The commissioners are here.”

 

Shiho, confusedly tripped forwards, her legs wobbling as she trailed in front. She couldn’t see much of anything, but from what she could make out, it was presumably Airi and someone with blue hair.

 

“Shiho?” Gasped Airi, her voice easily noticeable by her tone. Shiho tried to pick up on a direction Airi would be coming from, but she didn’t  have  much time, now barraged with an embrace.

 

“…!” Shiho gasped, her body tense as she slowly let herself relax. “Thank the gods!” Airi exclaimed. “Thank goodness Haruka told me you were captured or I would’ve-”

 

“Who?” Shiho questioned, her throat weak despite how much she wanted to speak.

 

“Me.” Stepped in the blue-haired figure. Shiho looked at the person, unable to identify if they were Ichika or not.

 

“Ichika,” shiho gasped, paying no attention to anything around her. “Where is she? D-did she-”

 

“Geez, Hinomori, what’s gotten you all… this?” Airi questioned with a frown. “It’s just a friend of mine and your sisters’.” The magenta-haired girl elaborated.

 

“You…” Shiho’s eyes widened, her view no longer submerged under water. “YOU!” She shrieked out. No doubt that this person was the one who tried to murder Ichika.

 

“Shiho!” Airi warned, her arms crossed. “She’s the one who commissioned Lorelei to free you. She’s risking her duty for you.”

 

Shiho looked back to see that Iori had left. How? Shiho had no clue.

 

“I’m sorry for what I did to Hoshino,” the blue haired girl - Haruka - whispered, giving Shiho a bow of regret. “I… I never meant to hurt her. Or you.”

 

“Like that makes a difference.” Shiho hollered. “You think that locking me up like that, threatening my girlfriend’s life, MY life, and remaining ambivalent to the harm you’ve caused can somehow be erased because you apologised?”

 

“…your girlfriend?” Airi’s eyebrow raised, a smirk painted on her face to match.

 

Shiho’s face blossomed bright maroon, her eyes flickering around. “Y-yeah. What’s wrong with that?”

 

“Yes, I do recall you saying that you loved Ichika,” Haruka commented. “I didn’t realise that it was… romantic.”

 

“Shut up,” shiho remarked, biting her tongue. Great, now they’re both gonna tease me.

 

“No wonder you were so defensive,” Airi muttered, earning a glare from the silver-haired knight.

 

“We need to go.” Haruka muttered, her voice urgent. “I’ve ordered a carriage to the White Alliance.”

 

“That’s Haruka for you, always on schedule,” Airi commented, trying to ease Shiho into thinking Haruka was harmless. But Shiho couldn’t - no, wouldn’t forgive her. But she could tolerate her.

 

The three trailed out of the area, with Shiho wrapping her arm around Airi’s shoulder to act as a crutch for her aching muscles.

 

Shiho shuffled through her pockets, noticing the sudden breeze that swayed beneath the gales. Finally, Shiho breathed in a breath of air after weeks of being held captive.

 

To be free is to feel the pain of confinement, Shiho realised. Like reaching the surface of a never-ending ocean, freedom is being willing to rise up.

 

Shiho never realised how much she affected Ichika’s freedom. In fact, if it weren’t for her, Ichika would still be confined.

 

Shiho… she didn’t deserve to be considered a monster, did she?

 

Maybe.

 

Shiho escaped out into the outer rim of the castle, her breaths growing heavy as the air trickled through her lungs. She felt her body slowly unfurl from the muscle memory of the clasps and chains, despite the agony.

 

After a few instances of walking, Haruka pointed towards a carriage in the distance, which didn’t seem all that far. Airi made a comment towards the expense, but Shiho didn’t pay all that much attention to her remarks.

 

Instead, Shiho felt a piece of paper wrap against her pocket, fishing it out of the fabric. It’s a letter, Shiho realised.

 

Shiho clasped her fingers against the parchment, making her way through the beaten path until she finally climbed into the carriage. Shiho felt her heart settle as Airi shut the door, starting up a conversation with Haruka.

 

Shiho, now noticing that no one would see the letter, unfolded it and read it carefully.

 

To Shiho Hinomori,

 

We hope this letter finds you well. We are STANDOUT, a mercenary group from the Shinonome Queendom. This letter will act as your invitation to our community, if you wish to join.

 

Give this letter to any form of knight from Shinonome, and you will officially join. Us at STANDOUT do not expect you to join immediately.

 

Sincerely, Mio, Iori, and Saku.

 

Shiho looked back at the letter, her eyes wide. An invitation? Shiho wanted to throw it away. She didn’t need a group of people. Not when she already had the White Knights and Ichika.

 

Shiho slid the letter back into her pocket, resting her head on the window. Jeez, who do they think they are? Asking me to join some mercenary group. Sheesh.

 

Shiho let out a sigh of air, closing her eyes. She didn’t need to think about it. All she needed was to rest, now that she was out of her shackles.

 

Hopefully Ichika is okay.

Notes:

Don’t question why I added Saku from anenome into STANDOUT (it’s because STANDOUT shouldn’t just have 2 members so
I kinda just merged them)

Also the reason Akito isn’t a part of the Shinonome queendom is because he was exiled for doing a certain something that definitely won’t be elaborated further no ofc not it’s definitely not important at all haha *side eyes my other fic knowing that I’m ripping it off again*

I HAVE RECENTLY LEARNT OF IOSHIHO (Iori x Shiho) AND DEAR GOD WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK INVENTED THAT WHAT THE HELL… anyways I actually like Iori as a character and I’m just gonna pretend that Ioshiho does not exist.

Chapter 35

Notes:

Never turn off my WIFI. I will turn into a gremlin and write 4 chapters of my Ichishiho white day fic. Yes, you heard that right. I wrote 4 chapters in under 3 hours. No I’m not gonna release them cause the last two are dogshit. Yes you get this one early because I felt like it.

Reincarnation apple carried that damn no-wifi session and it’s definitely gonna be at the top of my Spotify wrapped this year

“It’s just right over here!”

 

Ichika blinked, her eyes filled with the sight of sunlight beaming down at her. She looked out into the distance where Shizuku was guiding her to, which Shizuku claimed to be ‘the best tea house in all of Imperia’.

 

Shizuku strutted forward, her regal dress flowing gently, her eyes glittering amongst every angle. Foliage guided her steps, and Ichika followed the avant- dance Shizuku swayed amongst.

 

“Airi-chan and I used to spend time together here,” Shizuku remarked, entering the extravagant, fae-like lattice tea house. “Do you have any preferences of tea, Hoshino?”

 

“Not that I know of,” Ichika responded, despite her unfamiliarity of the culture of the white alliance.

 

“Anything… sweet? Mellow? Bitter?” Shizuku prodded, seating herself near a terrace encompassed in clusters of white roses and lilies.

 

Ichika looked out at the surroundings, letting herself take in everything. “Anything calming,” she uttered.

 

Ichika tried to sway her hair with her hand, but the absence of her hand pulled her into a furrow. Shizuku didn’t notice it, instead ordering the tea.

 

Ichika wondered if the sensation would ever go away. If she’d ever get her hand back. Maybe if I was stronger, it wouldn’t have happened.

 

The healing process on the wound was finally completed due to Shizuku’s affinity, but Ichika could still feel the absence of her arm in everything she did. It didn’t matter if it was just being unable to look at it - she didn’t know how to cope when she was trained as a knight. Not to mention her becoming-

 

“Miss Hoshino, did you know that under the White Knights, there is a mage branch?”

 

Ichika looked at Shizuku. Did she read my mind? Ichika questioned. Is that even possible?

 

Shizuku let out a light chuckle. “I didn’t expect you to be so surprised, miss Ichika. Our alliance was built as a safe haven for mages such as you.”

 

“I, uh,” Ichika stumbled on her words. “Didn’t realise that was an option.”

 

“Considering how rare your affinity is, I spoke to the Otoris,” Shizuku fished out a package from her bag, “and they accepted allowing you into the chief mage position of the alliance.”

 

Ichika looked at the package, unravelling it carefully to reveal a diamond imbedded brooch, one that looked like Shiho’s, but with a star symbol for Ichika’s.

 

Breathlessly, Ichika looked up at Shizuku. “The chief mage of the entire alliance?” Ichika uttered; her eyes wide.

 

“The highest ranking of mage. Only two have that’ style of badge - including you.”

 

Ichika looked back at the brooch, the unique design oh so similar to Shiho’s-

 

“Is Shiho the other?” Ichika asked.

 

“Yes. Shii-chan is the chief commander,” Shizuku smiled.

 

Ichika looked at Shizuku intently, wondering if she was lying. But from the gentle smile and the look of pride wrapped against Shizuku’s face, Ichika knew for a fact it was true.

 

“Am I… going to work with Shiho?” Ichika wondered, unable to contain her smile.

 

“Of course,” Shizuku smiled. “But this information is pledged to secrecy until the Otoris wish to…” Shizuku looked up to see one of the people carrying a tray of tea over, her words now hushed into a whisper.

 

“Your tea,” the waiter uttered, placing the tray down on the stone table, carefully making sure that the tea was presented perfectly.

 

“That’s a… lot of tea,” Ichika noticed, seeing just how much tea Shizuku ordered.

 

“Ah…” Shizuku noted. “I think I ordered a bit much, hehe…”

 

Ichika poured some of the tea in her cup, bringing it to her mouth carefully, finding that the temperature wasn’t as hot as she expected. But the sheer amount of tea left her overwhelmed regardless.

 

“It’s alright,” Ichika explained. “Back when I managed Saki’s schedule, I’d mix up the dates all the time.” She attempted to justify.

 

“Saki? As in the princess?” Shizuku remarked in between sips of her tea.

 

“…yeah.” Ichika frowned; her eyes distant. “I thought that I was destined to stay there. Turns out I was… wrong.”

 

“You were her sworn sword, right?” Shizuku pointed out. Ichika tried to laugh it off, but she couldn’t shake the pit that filled her stomach.

 

“Saki didn’t need a sworn sword.” Ichika sighed. “I realised as much when she tried to kill me.”

 

 Shizuku almost choked on her tea out of surprise, looking up with wide eyes. “The princess?”

 

“Sh-she has this kind of… affinity that could kill anyone if she got the chance. Where her hand turns into glass a-and her voice becomes distorted.” Ichika elaborated.

 

Ichika, why are you even here?

 

Those words haunted Ichika. Every waking moment, she heard it swear on eating Ichika’s remaining sanity, delving into Ichika’s mind like a parasite. She felt it sway and belittle her beneath the curtain that once was.

 

Ichika could feel the gaze of the one she viewed as innocent slip, like the bleach involved abyss that once stood so strong. Ichika couldn’t accept a life where she would be restricted and unaware. She had to look above the clouds, reaching through the rain that once cascaded.

 

Ichika wished that she could still see Saki without her life being risked. But that Saki was gone. What remained was a violent husk that tore away at Ichika.

 

If it weren’t for Saki, Ichika wouldn’t have met Shiho. She would’ve loved a life born of fear and hatred, tiptoeing the edges of truth until lies transcended into nothing more than what they truly were: lies.

 

“Is everything okay, miss Ichika?” Shizuku asked, her eyes filled with concern.

 

“I, uh… yeah, I’m okay.” Ichika took a sip of the tea before her. “Just… remembering things.”

 

Shizuku’s eyes softened, but her concern remained present as she brought her tea to her face. “If it helps, there’s no such affinity that can do that.”

 

“…” Ichika looked back at Shizuku. “Then… how?” She asked despite not being able to get an answer. “Is it something to do with her… curse?”

 

“Ah, right, the Tenma curse,” Shizuku recalled. “I don’t think that it affects affinities. Especially since affinities are given by the gods, almost hand-picked.”

 

“That’s why you have the position of Chief mage, after all. You have an affinity that hasn’t been seen in Millenia. …The gods must favour you, Ichika.”

 

So much so that I am able to see the creator, Ichika noted.

 

“You know, some people aren’t born with affinities, but instead earn them from learning the art of runes.” Shizuku remarked. “Shii-chan earned her affinity of transmutation and reconstruction that way.”

 

“But Shiho has four affinities.” Ichika recalled.

 

“…” Shizuku looked at Ichika. “No ordinary friend of Shiho’s would know that.”

 

Ichika looked up, seeing Shizuku’s intense glare directed at her. Panic washed over her body, her mind wandering in how to salvage the situation.

 

No, I don’t need an excuse. Ichika realised. I don’t need to be afraid.

 

“She… she told me about Miu.” Ichika explained to help her case. “And that you two lost your parents very young.”

 

“Tagaki Miu…” Shizuku recalled. “I don’t think I’ve heard that name in years. And to think that you, a high-ranking soldier from Tenma were told about that by Shiho,” Shizuku let out a sigh. “You must be incredibly important to Shii-chan.”

 

“You could say that,” Ichika smiled. “She did everything in her power to keep me safe. I… I know she’ll come back here. … I miss her.”

 

“Why didn’t you arrive here with Shiho?” Shizuku prompted.

 

Ichika didn’t know how to respond. Should I just say the truth? Or should I lie to her? No. I… I can’t hide it anymore. “Shiho was captured by the Tenma army, Shizuku.”

 

“…What.”

Notes:

I want to say something funny but I’ve been on a plane for the last like 18 hours and I’m going home. My energy is sapped.

Uh… my sister named me Certified Twink on snap (I hope that’s funny, maybe. I mean it really is the transmasc pipeline from girl to twink. Just wait until I get myself some testosterone and out-man every one of those transphobes)

Someone commented on an Ichishiho pin that Ichishiho was the Yuri version of Ivantill from alien stage and I genuinely can’t stop thinking about it. I hate that they’re correct

Did you know that Australia is a fully rabies-free country? Honestly thank god for that cause I have no clue how it works and I want to be as far away from it as humanly possible

Chapter 36

Notes:

I was about to say sorry but it's been a literal day not a month-

Shiho looked out the window, rain pelting outside the carriage, her eyes stained to the distant horizon. She didn’t like how long trips between the Tenma kingdom and the White Alliance were. She wished it didn’t take upwards of a week due to the weather.

 

Shiho’s mind continued to buzz, her body still aching in pain. She wasn’t able to clean herself of the blood and the wounds that infected her body. In fact, she didn’t realise how badly it all had become until she was free from the clasps of steel.

 

Shiho shuddered at the thought of Honami. She knew that someone so quiet would always reach a breaking point, but she didn’t realise just how drastic of a change had occurred. She wondered how Honami would react to Shiho’s sudden exit of the kingdom. Would she scream? Murder? Both?

 

Shiho didn’t want to think about Saki. She couldn’t stand thinking about someone so horrible. Someone who thought that murder was somehow excusable because she didn’t actually want it to happen. Someone who couldn’t take accountability for continuously ruining everything she held close. If Shiho didn’t despise Saki, she might even have felt bad for the princess. Probably not though.

 

“Hinomori,” questioned Haruka, her eyes carefully gazing at Shiho. Her eyes reflected nothing but ocean-like dread born of the murder that swayed inside her veins. Shiho could only see the blue-haired tactician as a soldier swayed by the words of war, aching for a bowstring born for blood.

 

“What do you want,” Shiho hissed, adverting her gaze from the person she denied ally-ship to the window of the carriage and the coming dusk approaching.

 

“You looked stressed,” Haruka noticed. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

“Fucking off would work.” Shiho groaned. “Like you even care. Seriously, I’m not buying this act of yours.”

 

“I admire your courage, Hinomori.” Haruka uttered, completely off topic. “You don’t let fear consume you.”

 

“You don’t know me.” Shiho scoffed, narrowing her gaze. “Besides, you’re going to go straight back to Tenma after this and hunt me down a second time.”

 

“I’m transferring to Shinonome.”

 

Shiho bit her tongue. “…why? Isn’t that place where knights like you are forbidden?”

 

“I’m a tactician and historian. I… I’m resigning my post as a Tenma soldier.”  Haruka remarked, looking out of the window. “They don’t know that I’m leaving the kingdom.”

 

“Good.” Shiho nodded. “They have one of the biggest armies, countless riches, and still choose to distance themselves from everyone else.”

 

“…I was raised in Shinonome, you know.” Airi murmured, tuning into the conversation.

 

“You were?” Shiho asked. “I would’ve never guessed.”

 

“I was a friend of the princess. Kinda like you, Shiho. Except my parents were transferring to the white knights, and I’m still friends with the princess.”

 

Dusk cascaded Shiho’s vision. She wondered if she ever truly was friends with Saki. Learning that Airi was from Shinonome wasn’t something she could have guessed, but she could see Airi as an officiant to people of royal blood. But was Shiho really a friend of Saki as Airi was to the princess of Shinonome?

 

“Has the search party found Shizuku?” Shiho asked to change the direction of the conversation.

 

“Shizuku’s been reported to remain at the White Alliance.” Airi sighed, rubbing the back of her palms. “Apparently it was because of an injured soldier she’s taking care of. People are speculating that the soldier is a nomad exploiting Shizuku’s generosity.”

 

Shiho bit her lip. She wanted to scream. This whole time, she stayed home? Even when Ichika and I looked for her? Even though that stupid fucking letter said otherwise?

 

Shiho tried to calm herself, but her anger only turned to despair. She hated that she was naïve enough to bring Ichika out in the open without a carriage and almost leave her to die.

 

…Was Ichika dead already? Shiho didn’t know. No one knew. The gods did know, but maybe, the gods were liars. Maybe she was being played as a pawn without her knowledge. Maybe Ichika was, too.

 

Why did she suddenly start caring about Ichika more than anyone else? Why did her own life feel meaningless without Ichika? Was this what love was like? Was she just dependent on Ichika?

 

Who was she kidding – Ichika was dead. Of course she’d be dead. And so was Shizuku, too. Then why did she still hold onto hope? Because she could? Because there was nothing left? Because she was a victim to the toxic poisitivity that poisoned the brains of all those she once loved?

 

No, this wasn’t toxic positivity. This was denial. Denial that could only be remedied by conformation.

 

Maybe she just had to move into the stage of bargaining.

 

“Haruka, did you tell Airi what happened?” Shiho asked, only because she couldn’t fathom being so hateful at that moment. She needed to calm down, so if she could just change the subject, it would all be fine.

 

“Tell me what?” Airi’s brow quirked, looking back at Haruka, then to Shiho.

 

“Ichika and I went to go find Shizuku by ourselves.” Shiho began; gritting her teeth. “And when we almost reached the alliance, we were… attacked.”

 

“I tried everything I could to keep Ichika safe, which did end up working. Now, I have no clue if she’s alive, and for my troubles, I was locked up.”

 

“…that’s why you were held hostage?” Airi let out an audible profanity in outrage. “Also, while you were away, Ichika was proved innocent. So you were captured for nothing?!”

 

“…It was my fault.” Haruka whispered, her eyes dejected. “I… I was the one who started the fight.”

 

“No, it’s not your fault. Wh-who was giving orders?” Airi bartered, her brows locked in a furrow.

 

“Mochizuki Honami.” Shiho spat out. She couldn’t believe it was Honami. It felt so surreal to even think. “She was the one who ordered me in that damn prison, wasn’t she?”

 

“She ordered your execution. She was willing to pin the death of Kamishiro on you.”

 

Shiho felt a shiver run down her back. Not because she was going to die if she stayed, but that Honami was right. No one needed to know that, though. Shiho never needed to bring that up.

 

“I hate her,” Shiho hissed. “I wish I never met her. T-to think that she’d…” Shiho felt her heart rate triple. “I hate that she’ll never give me peace.”

 

Shiho never remembered Honami as well as she did Saki. But she did remember her. Shiho never wanted to see her again. She didn’t want to see anyone from back then come into her life once more. And now, everything that she once viewed as memories of her old friends were fragments.

 

“…She was actually quite fond of you when we were searching.” Haruka uttered. “She said that she’d welcome you in open arms.”

 

“She thinks that who I am is a curse,” Shiho spat out. “Sh-she thinks that, somehow, she can fix me.” Shiho revelled in her discouragement. “… And now she’s completely insane.”

 

“I don’t know why everything was so sudden, or who’s making the decisions,” Haruka frowned, her hair swaying against her eyes, casting shadows towards her skin. “But it could be because her affinity reacts to SoulDust.”

 

“What?” Airi scoffed, gobsmacked. “She could fucking paralyse someone with an affinity like that.”

 

“She’s able to absorb SoulDust and redistribute it. That’s why she’s the only mage in the army, able to fully disorient any mage she comes across.” Haruka’s eyes flickered with hesitance.

 

“But she never redistributes SoulDust. She’s too afraid of if she can’t control it. And everyone she comes across will one day wither away because of her.”

 

Shiho let out a low sigh. “I think she’ll kill whoever she works with just fine on her own. she’s a lunatic.”

 

“…” Haruka let out a gust of air from her lungs. “Yeah.” She sighed, as if she didn’t want to admit it.

 

“Hey, Haruka,” Shiho turned her gaze away, trying not to trap herself into a spiral. Every time she looked over at Haruka, she saw a murderer. And every other time she saw Haruka, she saw Ichika.

 

Was it the hair? The expression? The face? Shiho didn’t know. But she couldn’t help but see Ichika. Maybe she really was in denial, diving headfirst into her delusions.

 

“Yes, Hinomori?”

 

Shiho tried not to look, to see Ichika in every person, to wallow in her own self-eradicating doubt that trembled down her back. But she did look. And she saw the murderer this time.

 

“Do you know where I-Ichika is,” Shiho uttered out, her tone quick, her eyes bouncing about. “D-do you know if sh-she’s alive?”

 

Why am I saying this? Shiho wished to know. Why am I so… desperate?

 

Because I love her more than anything else. Shiho admitted. And I can’t accept losing her.

 

“Now… she’s gone from my side. And I can’t live without her.” Shiho choked out. She wasn’t one to speak about her emotions, but she was so desperate, begging that maybe Ichika would be alive to see the next dawn, hoping that Ichika was okay-

 

“…” Shiho flinched at the silence, tears slipping out of her eyelids. No, she can’t be dead. I have to find her. I have to make sure she’s okay.

 

“I-I did everything to make sure she was okay.” Shiho croaked out. “She… she can’t be dead.”

 

A heaving sob escaped Shiho’s lips, her face tense as the tears continued to fall, glistening against her face as she stared down. “I’m so sorry, Ichika… was I not enough?”

 

“Shiho,” Airi uttered, but she wasn’t pitying Shiho. No, she was… determined.

 

Shiho could see Ichika’s determination to continue through Airi. Ichika continued to haunt Shiho in every step.

 

“You’re giving up on her.” Airi spoke, telling it how it was. “You’re acting like she’s already dead.”

 

“But-”

 

“-No, we don’t know it. You are one of the strongest soldiers I’ve met, Shiho. If she’s not at the alliance, we’ll find her. You’ll just have to hold on for now.” Airi reminded Shiho. “If Ichika wouldn’t give up on you, then why are you giving up on her?”

 

Shiho wiped her tears with the back of her palm. “I’m sorry,” Shiho uttered weakly. “I… I can’t give up on her, like you said.”

 

“There is always a way.” Haruka added. “And I know that Ichika would be trying to find her way back to you. I used to teach her the art of battle, after all.”

 

“…” Shiho heaved in a rough breath. She had no choice but to continue waiting.

 

“We’ll find her.”

Notes:

I was in the mood for writing angst sorry if the pacing is a bit all over the place

also next POV will be a certain brown-haired princess... :)

Chapter 37

Notes:

Halfway through writing this I was like ‘am I on the wrong fic’ and then realised there ain’t any Mizook angst in this chapter

Ena let out a nervous huff of air, her coat trailing behind her, creating a hem of fabric as she let out another mutter. She was of royal blood – she didn’t have time to be petty. Nor did she have time to care about the letter folded in her black-laced gloved hands. But she had some kind of debt to repay, if you could even call it that.

 

“Enanan~ what ‘cha got there?” Hummed the infamous knight in all of Shinonome – the only person permitted to wield a sword. And with such strikingly cotton-candy coloured hair, it was only natural for the previously considered outcast to ignore formalities.

 

“Akito sent it.” Ena groaned, her fingers curling against the letter, itching to break the wax seal. But she couldn’t. Akito was exiled.

 

“Oh,” Mizuki cleared her throat, her eyes looming over the colour of the wax, filling with an emotion that couldn’t be described. “That’s a King’s seal, though.”

 

Ena bit her lip, her brows furrowed. “Then why was it adressed by… Akito?”

 

“Maybe it was verified by a royal.” Mizuki spun around ena, causing the brunette to sway her gaze to whatever angle her knight twisted herself in. “You know how he is with the prince,”

 

“I know.” Ena sighed. Why is Akito taunting me like this? Ena wondered frustratedly. Seriously, he could’ve just added that it was him on the bottom of the note than blatantly sending it with his name.

 

“If you don’t want to open it, I sure as hell can,” Mizuki prodded, attempting to snatch the letter from Ena’s hands. If it weren’t for Ena’s grip, she’d probably succeed.

 

“But why?” Ena hissed, shutting her eyes closed. “He hasn’t spoken to me since he left.”

 

“I mean, he did speak to me. No one really knows him as Akito here, too.” The pink-haired knight added, her ponytail bouncing with every step she took. “I don’t think that you’ll get punished by anyone for reading it.”

 

“Mizuki, I love you, but I can’t risk my future for this letter.” Ena quipped. “By the gods, why did he do this?”

 

“…” Mizuki’s silence was loud. Especially after… the indecent, her being quiet was the worst thing that could happen.

 

Ena didn’t want Mizuki to run away again, to flee out into the forests and attempt to drown herself. And if it weren’t for Mizuki, Ena would have never accepted Akito.

 

Maybe that was why Mizuki was silent – because if Ena didn’t open the letter, she’d be denying Mizuki, and the rest of Tenma.

 

Ena tore the seal, sliding the letter into her hands. She didn’t care what the rest of the kingdom would think. She couldn’t let anticipation gnaw at the rest of her sanity.

 

“…No.” Ena stared at the ink. “This…” Ena shut her eyes in panic.

 

Mizuki looked over at the letter, her eyes darting against the parchment. Her face was ghostly pale, her eyes distant.

 

“They’re declaring war against us.” Mizuki uttered.

 

“Shit,” Ena hissed, folding the letter out of frustration. “Shit!” She screeched.

 

“Mizuki, what should we do?” Ena panted, her voice filled with anxiety, her hands trembling as reality settled into her clogged, overrun mind.

 

“…” Mizuki’s face softened into something daunting. “We can’t do anything.” She whispered, her tone emotionless. “There’s… nothing we can do about this.”

 

“Don’t say that!” Ena scoffed, twisting away from Mizuki. “This is war we’re talking about.”

 

“I know war better than you.” Mizuki turned to Ena. “I…” she looked away, trying to grapple with her own emotions. “And it doesn’t matter what we do.”

 

“Mizuki…” Ena placed her gloved hand against her shoulder, gaining a fake laugh.

 

“Us soldiers are born for war. …born to die.” Mizuki let out another litter of giggles, hiding her disparity. “But… do you think the White Knights will join us if we ask?”

 

“…” Ena stared deeply into Mizuki’s eyes, the small spark alit against the magenta hue, flickering with what Ena could only know as hope amongst the shadows of the past

 

“Maybe.”

Notes:

Oh god, I forgot the about the next chapter in my plans. Why did I put it in between this and the reunion bro-

You’ll know when it releases but dear lord I’m going to cry while writing it

Chapter 38

Notes:

Sorry for the wait for this chapter!! Reverse 1999 updated and I finally got Anjo Nala's P1 and have gotten through up to episode 12 of chapter 8 (Tristes Tropiques) and CRK also updated so I've also been preocupied with that, but if you're gonna take away anything from these notes, PLAY REVERSE 1999 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE PRETTY PLEASE ITS SO GOOD AND ITS ABOUT IRL HISTORY WITH REAL CULTURES AND ITS SO COOL AND I LOVE IT AND YOU SHOULD PLAY IT RIGHT NOW FOR ME PLEASEEEEE THE FANBASE ISN'T EVEN TOXIC TOO IT'S THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS FR PLAY REVERSE 1999 I SWEAR ITS SO GOOD (It's my comfort game and comfort fandom so I adore it to like the highest degree)

 

A gentle, forlorn wind cast itself against Ichika, her eyes blinking from the sheer force of the winds. She took rugged steps, her eyes wandering from the winds to the world in front of her. Or rather, the future she’d roam.

 

A young girl, about the same age as Ichika, waddled her way over to Ichika with a look of intrigue. Her grey  hair gleamed in the sunlight, with her emerald eyes emitting her reservation.

 

“Hello! I’m Ichika,,” she smiled, making her way to the silver-haired girl, reaching out her hand with excited valour. “What’s your name?”

 

The grey haired girl turned her eyes to Ichika, frightened. “I…” she took a step back. “Shiho. My name is Shiho.”

 

Ichika let out a small giggle. “You must be new here to Tenma,” Ichika wrapped her hand around Shiho’s, guiding the frightened girl into the castle. “Saki would love to meet you!”

 

“…who?” Shiho whispered, her eyes lost in the fray of the architecture, her mind buzzing with unfamiliarity.

 

“The princess,” Ichika responded. “Don’t worry, she’s very nice.”

 

Shiho gave a strained nod, her mind hazed. And yet, Ichika still held onto Shiho’s hand.

 

Ichika never really got time to reflect on the first time she met Shiho. But she did remember the warmth. The warmth of holding someone who she’d treasure, to long for such a gaze to reach hers once more. Oh, how she wished she could tell Shiho about it all.

 

Tears slipped down her cheeks, her eyes looking out at the room. She could feel the sunlight beam from the windows, despite the White Alliance being covered in frost.

 

“So this is Shiho’s room,” Ichika whispered to herself. She could see the arrays of blades hung against the walls, the scattered notes placed against her wall, the fresh candles resting inside lanterns. She could see the notebook that hung open against Shiho’s desk, the soft words plastered against the paper using such delicate ink.

 

Ever since Ichika had fully recovered, she had always spent her time in the Hinomoris’ guest room. Not until now did she finally get to step into Shiho’s room.

 

“I love you,” Ichika brushed her fingers against the side of Shiho’s desk. “I love you so much, Shiho.” She whispered.

 

Tears continued to fall down her cheeks as she looked out at every piece of the room. She could feel the pain of existence dragging Shiho down, the price of living gnawing at Shiho from every note.

 

Ichika had never given herself time to properly mourn the loss of Shiho being taken away, especially now that Shizuku was now preparing to send out soldiers into Tenma. She told herself to prioritise the healing process over everything else, and safe to say, she no longer needed healing.

 

Maybe that’s why Ichika was so sentimental at a room that she had never seen before – because it’s a place of comfort for someone she cares so deeply about. Because this was the place that Shiho grew up believing that she deserved to be alone.

 

Ichika hated looking back on how she treated Shiho. She hated thinking that Shiho was some sort of monster. She hated herself for believing that Shiho had no right to exist.

 

Ichika hated herself because everyone around her was already growing up, and she was lagging behind.

 

She wasn’t mature, or interesting, or complex. She was pathetic, weak, and ambivalent. She never stood up for her own emotions. She simply hid and cowered.

 

But she was able to show Shiho that there was meaning to life. And she had to protect Shiho. She had to protect the one thing that didn’t drag her down. The one good thing that she loved so dearly.

 

Maybe there was a day where she didn’t take Shiho’s hand. A day where she never met up with Shiho, and she had never found the love of her life. Maybe there was a time where she had stayed with Saki and remained innocent to the crimes she was committing.

 

 

Maybe there was a time where she did kill Shiho.

 

But that time wasn’t the one she was living.

 

She had lost everything already. She had watched everything she loved slip away from her in one single moment. She had watched Shiho get stolen without any way to stop her.

 

Maybe Shiho’s way of showing love was through sacrifice, while Ichika’s was through protection.

 

“Ichika,” Uttered a star-lit voice, one pressed up against her ears and causing her head to sway.

 

“Miku…?” Ichika rubbed the tears off of her face with the back of her hand. It was unruly to cry in front of a goddess, was it not?

 

“Did you perform that spell?” Miku asked, her eyes looking around at the place before resuming her gaze on her pupil.

 

“I… yeah, I did.” Ichika whispered. She didn’t understand what was going on when she did activate her affinity, or what Shizuku meant by an alternate form, but what she did know was that something inside her had changed.

 

“That’s great!” The creator chirped, her smile infectious. “I’m glad I could help.”

 

Ichika turned around, her skin uncomfortably covered in shadows, her hair sticking to her neck, her eyebags sunken and cruel. Air swarmed through her lungs as she thought of Shiho, the one she loved.

 

“…D-do you think I’ll see Shiho again…?” Ichika asked, the words tumbling out of her tongue, her mouth dry.

 

“Of course.” Miku stepped closer to Ichika, resting her hand on the azure-eyed mage’s shoulder. “I’ve noticed you think about her a lot.”

 

“I love her.” Ichika admitted. She wanted to caress Shiho’s face and wrap her in a hug. She wanted to witness her bright emerald eyes gaze at her with such comfort and understanding. She wanted to be next to Shiho, no matter the cost.

 

“And she loves you.” Miku uttered with a knowing look on her face.

 

Ichika remembered the first time she ever had a proper conversation with Shiho, after weeks of wondering about the grey-haired knight. Ichika sat near a sterling oak tree, watching out of the corner of her eye Shiho’s rigorous training.

 

“You’re very cool,” Ichika said outright, her eyes focussed on the distinct green that emitted from Shiho’s eyes. The knight looked back, her sword laced up against her arms, her expression unreadable.

 

“You don’t have to lie to me.” Shiho responded.

 

Ichika, confused by such a bold answer, proclaimed, “I’m not lying, miss Shiho.”

 

“…” Shiho looked back at her blade, the wind cutting through like gales, carrying the pollen against it. The ground was almost marshy, the sky overcast. Both of them weren’t allowed outside the castle, and yet, they both were.

 

“Don’t call me ‘miss’. It’s weird.” Shiho cut through any intention of acceptance Ichika was giving her.

 

“Does the place you’re from not use the word ‘miss’?” Ichika questioned.

 

“…I just don’t like it.”

 

Ichika gave a hum of acknowledgement, despite her not really getting why a knight would be so fussed. Maybe it was patronising, or infatuating.

 

“How about commander? That’s a cool name.” The azure-haired girl tilted her head to the side, catching a sombre sight of Shiho, even just for a second.

 

“It is cool.” Shiho affirmed, causing Ichika to chuckle in righteousness.

 

“But I’m not a commander.”

 

Ichika watched carefully as Shiho swung her sword, making precise movements with the blade, using the steel as a prop for her own directorial swordplay. Ichika watched and watched, mesmerised by the beautiful sway of Shiho’s movements, even when she fumbled to the ground or messed up a swing. Ichika never wanted Shiho to feel bad. Not when she was already so impressive.

 

“How are you so good at this?” Ichika asked, trying to get a tell on Shiho’s expression.

 

“I practice,” Shiho swung her blade, “And I enjoy doing it.”

 

Ichika wondered if she too could practice like Shiho. If she could be as impressive and cool as Shiho.

 

“I want to be like you one day.” Ichika uttered, determined. “Because I want to be cool like you.”

 

“For the second time, I’m not cool.” Shiho sighed.

 

“To me you are.” Ichika let out a smile, catching the look of surprise on Shiho’s face.

 

“Maybe you should start practicing, then.” Shiho muttered a half-assed comment, hoping Ichika would leave.

 

“Maybe you can… teach me?” Ichika asked.

 

“No.” Shiho spat out, blatant and stubborn.

 

“I’ll just watch you then, Shiho.”

 

Ichika smiled bittersweetly recalling the memory, tears softly running down her face. “I… I miss her, Miku.”

 

The star-born creator let out a low sigh, her eyes still gentle, her smile still kind.

 

“She’ll come to you, Ichika.” Miku reassured. “And I’m sure she misses you a lot, too.”

 

“Yeah,” Ichika let out a sob. “Y-yeah…” she quivered.

 

Tears fell from her eyes like raindrops, cascading down Ichika’s cheeks, leaving a watery stain against her skin. She missed Shiho so much. She wanted to just see Shiho’s silver hair and run her fingers through it, to cup Shiho’s cheek and kiss her skin. She wanted to know that Shiho was coming back, that Shiho, who Ichika watched turn herself into the clutches of the Tenmas, would be safe in her arms.

 

But now, only her memories of Shiho were all she had left.

Notes:

Me when baby Ichika and baby Shiho

ALSO DON'T FORGET ABOUT REVERSE 1999 IF YOU LOVE PJSK YOU'LL LOVE IT I PROMISE

Chapter 39: Shiho's point of view

Notes:

No joke I had to get this chapter out as soon as I possibly could because my computer (which I use for writing) has a virus and is presumably installing malware into my computer. I had to download the damn word app to get his chapter in on time. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t add the second part of this chapter as I normally do with split-pov chapters, but yeah, can’t really do that here.

Hopefully this update can make up for the loss of my computer, at least it was just my three-year-old dingy school one (However I have rainworld on it and now no more rainworld😞) and I’m getting a new computer in two days (that’s also why I had to speed run this chapter because my old computer was gonna get wiped anyways)

I pray to Miku that my laptop won’t have the viruses when it gets wiped but at this point I don’t know what’s gonna happen

The next two chapters (Chapters 39 and 40) will be multi-POV chapters.

 

Shiho trembled out a breath, her eyes surmounting the dignified view of her hometown, fog endlessly wafting around the segment of land. Snow pattered against the carriage, with the empty spot of Haruka remaining lost ever since her departure to Shinonome. Now, Airi and Shiho remained awkwardly silent as they made their way to the White Alliance.

 

The carriage began to slow at the sudden breach of territory, with the driver of the carriage ultimately unfamiliar of how to tackle the snow-swept environment. Shiho knew as such when the carriage slowed down at the approach of the marbled-laced gates.

 

“I’m sorry, but… you may have to get out.” The carriage driver uttered, a thick Shinonomian accent accompanying their frozen breaths. Shiho gave a grunt to the driver, while Airi gave a message of appreciation and payment, even though the ride was already paid in full when Haruka disembarked.

 

Shiho’s ankles fell to the whims of gravity, crunching on the fresh snow, her tunic only barely covering the wounds littered across her flesh.

 

“How are you faring, Shiho?” Airi questioned, her arms dug into her wool pockets, her breaths creating a puff in the thick ice that wrapped around her.

 

“…” Shiho’s eyes diluted. She could only dream how long it would take until Ichika would get to this point after she got captured. Or… if she died along the way.

 

“It doesn’t matter.” Shiho spat out, her knuckles tense, her eyes low-lidded. “W-we need to get home first.”

 

Airi huffed out a puff of air, her brows furrowed with an unending unease for Shiho’s wellbeing. However, the emerald-eyed knight didn’t care about how she was perceived, nor could she even bring herself to focus on the injuries.

 

Airi’s hair swayed to the rhythm of the blizzard, her nose squeaking out a sneeze from this weather. Shiho would’ve expected her to be used to the weather if it weren’t for her being just as frail.

 

Airi approached the pristine gates, banging against the exterior. “Hey! This is Momoi Airi and Hinomori Shiho, reporting for-”

 

“Yeah, yeah, come on in.” The guard gave a smile.

 

“A-Ayumi? I didn’t know you were…” Airi stammered, analysing the person in front of her with an air of familiarity. The magenta-haired lieutenant cleared her throat, muttering words to herself that Shiho didn’t really pay attention to.

 

The sterling gate awoke with a clink, letting the two of them inside the residence of the alliance. Airi took a minute to chat with the guard at the gatepost, while Shiho decided to limp ahead and make her way through the snow. She needed to talk to Shizuku and explain to everyone what had happened.

 

Shiho wondered how her past self would react to such a turn of events. But now was not the time for recollection.

 

Shiho’s wounds became more and more imminent to her, the potency of the agony spiking up her veins like a pulse of pain drooling from her insides. She let out a huff of frustration, her fingers turning unnaturally purple, her body dipped in and out of the snow uncomfortably with each unruly step.

 

Shiho watched people pass her by, the disturbed stares emitted from the world around her. She gritted her teeth, her body shivering, her tunic unable to keep her warm through the walk through the alliance. Snow poured like rain, falling onto her cheeks, imbedding ice into her flesh every second she reached out.

 

Maybe it’s the aftereffects of the drugs, Shiho surmised, her leg muscles shaky, her body dwindling. She couldn’t move the muscles in her arms, tears streaming down her frosted eyelashes. The cuts made onto her skin made the efficiency of the toxins in her body almost terrifyingly lethal.

 

Shiho let out a struggling cough, her hand pressed up against her throat as she wheezed. She couldn’t see anything, her eyes drenched in hallucinogens and tears. She couldn’t tell the colour of the skies – was it purple, or green? No… was it yellow? Shiho couldn’t tell.

 

Yet, in the corner of the silver-haired knight’s gaze, was a  hint of deep blue pigmenting the colours that wrapped against her.

 

“…Ichika?” Shiho gravelled, her eyes wide. She tried to reach her hand out, but her legs immediately gave in.

 

“Shi…” She could hear something. Something that brought her so much warmth.

 

Like words uttered against the moonlight, Shiho’s frozen lashes thawed out of sheer rejection of weakness. She blinked and blinked, hoping that her eyes would gaze upon the thing speaking to her. Upon the person that stood near her, out of reach.

 

Shiho rubbed her eyes with her callously cold fingers, the water spilling from her eyelids, revealing the brink of colour. Revealing someone in front of her. Someone who reached out their hand, making their way to Shiho.

 

“Shiho…!” Gasped someone. Or something. Or nothing at all.

 

No – Shiho knew who it was.

 

It was Ichika.

 

Shiho felt her body rise from the cobbled snow, embraced in the arms of the one she loved. Azure hair, gentle hands, and an embrace that could end Shiho’s suffering.

 

Ichika Hoshino.

 

There she was, her eyes glittering like the endless sky, her smile as warm as a blanket. Shiho placed her fingers around Ichika’s chin, her eyes hammering in on Ichika’s lips.

 

“I love you.”

 

Shiho pressed her face up on Ichika’s, an adorable gasp let out from Ichika. A string of saliva connected Shiho and Ichika’s tongues as the two kissed again and again, holding each other after their other half was taken from them.

 

Shiho wanted this. She didn’t know how many hours she had spent mourning this, only now to finally have the one she loved looking back at her. But to now feel it in her grasp, to feel Ichika’s tongue explore her and glide through her mouth, she couldn’t explain the euphoria.

 

Shiho wished that it wouldn’t end. She wanted to feel Ichika coursing through her veins, teasing her with gentle laughter, holding her close. But eventually, they had to speak face-to-face without the subtext.

 

Tears streamed down Shiho’s face as she looked down at Ichika’s arm. It was cut off entirely. Amputated because of Shiho’s decisions.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Shiho began, her eyes darting all over the place. She tried her best not to cry, but in a place so comforting, she couldn’t help it. “I-I sh-shouldn’t h-have left you…!” Shiho sobbed, her tears staining Ichika’s shoulder.

 

“I-I’m alive,” Ichika let out a giddy chuckle, holding Shiho. “And so are you.”

 

“I love you, Ichika,” Shiho uttered, her arms gripping tight to her lover. “I love you so much!”

 

Ichika returned with a kiss on Shiho’s cheek, her gentle lips pecking at Shiho’s raw skin. “I love you too, my dearest,” Ichika whispered.

 

“I… I thought you were dead,” Shiho hiccupped, her voice lost to the tears that fell from her cheeks. “I… I…!”

 

“It’s okay, my love,” Ichika gave Shiho a wide smile, one embellished with the true kindness and genuine care that Ichika had for Shiho. “Let’s get you somewhere warm, okay?” Ichika picked Shiho up, using her hand as a crutch, guiding her into the medical facility.

 

“Warm…” Shiho muttered, resting against one of the mattresses before passing out.

 

---

Shiho awoke to a glittering hand hovering over her, one adorned in stardust. She blinked, trying to stretch her body; but the drugs that the Tenma people injected into her still lingered in her wounds, sending a wave of nausea to rise to the surface of her chalky skin.

 

“Ah, you’re awake,” murmured Ichika, retracting her star-woven hand to her side. “Sorry if I, uh, woke you,” she added nervously.

 

 

“It’s fine,” shiho huffed out. “I don’t feel tired anymore.”

 

Ichika hummed in pride, her love-struck gaze homing in on Shiho. “I’ve been accepted as high mage of the alliance.” She uttered.

 

Shiho blinked, her ears ringing distinctively. “I thought that position was restricted to Otori heirs,” She pursed her lips.

 

“Shizuku had-”

 

“Shizuku.” Shiho growled, the volume of her voice radiating through the room with such voracity that some of the nurses turned their heads to Shiho’s exclamation.

 

“Where is she.” Shiho muttered, eyeing the nurses, who seemingly averted their eyes as to remain ambivalent. “Can any of you bring her here?”

 

“Shiho-chan, my love, Shizuku was the one that rescued me and brought me here. S-sure she caused us to leave the kingdom and find her, but-”

 

“-I didn’t know if she was alive for however long I spent in that cell.” Shiho began, her panic arising in her throat, trembling through her tongue. “All I want is to see her again, even if she made me worry. …She saved your life, too.”

 

“…” Ichika’s eyes were hazy, her brows uncertain. “They… did this?” She looked over at the scars.

 

“I was shoved into a cell and t-tortured. Honami, she… injected countless of needles into my skin. I was their prisoner.” Shiho’s words rung hollow and downturned, bleak as she whispered her plea.

 

Shiho could feel the blades writhing across her flesh, the cold liquid of the needles turning her muscles numb, until there was nothing left for her to feel. She remembered the way she choked out air and begged for the pain to stop, being fed morsels of chemicals like a lab experiment.

 

“It was so cold,” Shiho hissed out, her voice shrinking into a whisper. “I couldn’t escape. I…” Shiho’s jaw clenched. “I can still feel it.”

 

Ichika’s facial expression flexed into something bleak, her hair casting shadows across her skin. Shiho could see the way she pursed her lips, tense and sorrowful.

 

“…Shizuku doesn’t know that you’re here. No one does.” Ichika uttered strenuously, as if it was a weight latched to her shoulders. “I-I didn’t have the heart to tell Shizuku. To tell anyone.” Ichika hissed out a sob.

 

“Because Shizuku I-is making her way to Tenma.”

 

Shiho wanted to scream. To break everything in the cage that was her futile bones. To let tears stream down her cheeks.

 

But the weight of her own mind couldn’t bear the emotions of other people’s decisions.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho looked into the eyes of the one she loved, diving into the crystalline crevices of care that ruminated through Ichika. “Please… stay here with me.” Shiho could feel her tone wavering. “I want you here.”

 

“Of course,” Ichika responded, wrapping her hand around Shiho’s, the warm temperature almost overwhelming for Shiho’s sensors. “There is no day where I don’t want to stay by your side.”

 

“I love you, Ichika.” Shiho uttered, her words profound. She didn’t feel embarrassed saying it. Not when it was the truth in her eyes.

 

“I love you too, my knight.”

Notes:

I’m stalling the Hinomori angst like Colopale stalling Mizu5

Man I love using NPC characters as plot points because they don’t get any recognition and they deserve to atp

Chapter 40: Ichika's point of view

Notes:

Legit got my new computer yesterday. Wrote this entire chapter in the span of 4 hours. I'm just that goated

Ichika’s eyes fawned the horizon, her breaths fickle as the cold air took hold of her warmth. She let out a small sigh, her arms clutching to the coat that Shizuku had offered to her.

 

Ichika couldn’t believe that this was what spring was like for the people of the alliance. It was frozen over, brittle, and dense with snow. Ichika didn’t understand how such a season could ever correlate to springtime.

 

Ichika brought the home-brewed cup of tea to her mouth, the warm aroma making her body warm, even just for a moment. Ichika’s steps writhed against the cobblestone pathways, her mind filled with the intake of snow and the decisions that lied behind her.

 

Ichika remembered Shizuku’s words, as lofty as they seemed. Shizuku was going to send the army out to Tenma later that day. And as much as Ichika wanted to bring Shiho back home, she couldn’t help but feel like it was a lost folly.

 

Shizuku had given Ichika the choice to stay, or to go. And in a state not strong enough, she decided to stay and take up the role as an enforcer of the law in Shizuku’s absence.

 

Ichika wouldn’t fully initiate into the role until tomorrow. And now with all the time in the world, she simply walked along the pathways of the alliance and looked out at the streets. In short, she was wasting time.

 

Ichika clutched her hand tight – the panic that she once felt when losing her arm arising with the movement. She never understood why she still felt her arm with her, even though it was gone. And every time she gazed with lofty abandon, the sensation hit her like a torrential fire chalking at her sanity.

 

Ichika didn’t know why she feared what already was, the signifying vow of existence gnawing at her every being. She wondered why she hated realising she’d forever have no hand. How even the gods couldn’t fix such a cavity in her skeleton. But she knew why it existed – because, every single time she realised she lost her hand, she’d know that she had to become stronger.

 

So then, why did Ichika continue to walk in the open snow? Why did her footsteps ring against the cobble? Why did, despite everything she felt, did she hesitate and procrastinate?

 

Ichika’s mind was a mess that not even the creator could fix. Life was a hollow opening in her heart, and circumstance was an ailment of the end times. Ichika wanted to fix her mind, to fill the loneliness of her existence with something meaningful. But the one thing she treasured was stolen from her.

 

Shiho, Ichika recalled. Was it so hard for her to see a day where Shiho wouldn’t plague her? Ichika wondered if it was ever possible.

 

But they’re saving her, Ichika realised. I’m staying behind. I’m staying here. I’m not saving her.

 

I’m not strong enough.

 

Ichika looked out at the snow. The crystallised formation of frozen water that drowned from the sky. The hollow feeling that bled into her, the numbness and isolation, it wasn’t from the snow.

 

It was from losing Shiho.

 

Ichika let out a sob, if only silently. She didn’t know what she was doing. She was selfish for prioritizing her safety over the one she loved. She was weak for not trying hard enough. She was… horrible.

 

Ichika swam through the sea of snow, making her way to the exits. I have to do something, she begged herself. I’m not strong enough, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is-

 

“Shiho?” Ichika hissed out, her eyes wide, her mouth agape. Slivers of silver caressed her vision of a battered knight clutching to their tunic.

 

Ichika ran through the cobble, her eyes fixated on the strands of silver that pressed against her eyes. “Shiho… is that you?”

 

“Ichika…?” Uttered a gravelly voice from the girl in silver, her eyes diluted as they loomed upwards.  Ichika stood, her eyes wide.

 

It really was her.

 

“Shiho!” Ichika gasped, kneeling down in the snow, scooping up her star-crossed lover with her hand, her eyes woven into the loving gaze of the one she adored most.

 

And there, Shiho’s mouth trailed into a crescent, tears smothering her eyes as she greeted Ichika. “I love you.”

 

Shiho dove into Ichika, kissing her roughly despite the numbness of her body. Ichika returned the kiss with one of her own, her body yearning for Shiho’s, pulling Shiho closer and closer until their limbs were entangled together.

 

Ichika noticed the scars across Shiho’s flesh. So, she decided to direct her lover and fill her with affection, even if it was a simple embrace, or a kiss, or anything. She could only imagine how tired Shiho must’ve been, and letting her love Ichika was all Ichika needed to feel safe.

 

And when Shiho wished to speak, Ichika let her.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Shiho began, her body leaning into Ichika’s shoulder. Ichika let the one she loved speak without objection. “I-I sh-shouldn’t h-have left you…!” Shiho sobbed, her tears staining Ichika’s coat.

 

Ichika allowed herself a smile, her hand rubbing Shiho’s back. “I-I’m alive,” Ichika reassured, listening to the sound of Shiho’s raw unadulterated emotions. “And so are you.”

 

“I love you, Ichika,” Shiho uttered, pulling herself tighter. Ichika could only sense how horribly Tenma must’ve treated her. “I love you so much!”

 

Ichika returned with a kiss on Shiho’s cheek, her gentle lips pecking at one of Shiho’s scars, hoping to remedy her pain. “I love you too, my dearest,” Ichika whispered.

 

“I… I thought you were dead,” Shiho hiccupped, her voice lost to the tears that fell from her cheeks. Ichika held her close, hearing every word. “I… I…!”

 

“It’s okay, my love,” Ichika gave Shiho a wide smile, hoping, begging that Shiho would never feel as distraught as she was in this moment. All Ichika wanted was for Shiho to feel loved, big or small.

 

“Let’s get you somewhere warm, okay?” Ichika picked Shiho up, using her hand as a crutch, guiding her into the medical facility.

 

“Warm…” Shiho muttered, resting against one of the mattresses before passing out, her body cradled against the soft rest. Ichika lifted up one of the blankets, making sure to wrap it against Shiho to keep her warm, as she so instructed.

 

“Now, what did I tell you?” Chipped in the tone of the creator, who glided against the stardust she accompanied over to Ichika’s side.

 

“I…” Ichika began, but she couldn’t put her feelings to words. Not when she now had a moment to think.

 

“Hehe, trust a gods’ intuition,” Miku smiled, answering for Ichika.

 

The creator wove her way from behind Ichika to a loose chair, where Miku crossed her legs over each other and huffed out a proud sigh. “No need to thank me, I’m just that good.”

 

“You’re not the Goddess Luka,” Ichika retorted, but she still kept her smile. “But… thank you for bringing her back to me.”

 

“I know I just said to give me credit,” Miku began, “But don’t give me the credit. All of this was Kaito’s doing.”

 

“Kaito? The god of Human emotion?” Ichika’s brows furrowed. “Shouldn’t it be the god of perseverance and challenge, Vflower?”

 

“Vi-San isn’t usually all that active in the community,” Miku sighed, “And Kaito said that both of you two align more with Humanity’s emotional feelings… or something. To be honest he sold me with the end result, and here we are.”

 

“Sometimes I forget that altering fate is something you can do,” Ichika wondered. “Then… why did you leave my arm like this?”

 

Miku took a look at Ichika’s missing arm, and her expression did not change. “Because It’ll help you with magic, of course!” Miku beamed.

 

“It can…” Ichika looked over at her hand. “No, that’s…”

 

“Think about it. Maybe it’ll help with Shiho.”

 

Ichika looked at the creator, hesitating. “But what if I hurt her?”

 

“At this point I’d be impressed if you could, since your mind connects to your magic. I should know, I created it,” Miku replied.

 

“You won’t hurt her,” Miku reiterated. “If you are afraid of it, your magic will avoid it.”

 

“…” Ichika gazed at Shiho. The tired – no, exhausted knight who had suffered so much already. The one she loved, suffering… it was a hard sight to see. She hated it. So much. She wished she could see a day in Shiho’s life where she wasn’t deathly suffering or on the brink of an emotional collapse.

 

“Would you like it if I helped you?” Miku questioned, her voice gentle, her hand resting on Ichika’s shoulder. “Like last time.”

 

Ichika bit her lip, her eyes drowning in a sea of decisions, her mind plagued with visions of her hurting Shiho. Like the child in the hospital facility, would she be the doctor?

 

No. The doctor was apathetic and cruel. And Ichika, she cared for Shiho. Even though the creator of the whole of Imperia was on her side of fate, she’d never hurt Shiho.

 

Never.

 

“Okay,” Ichika’s eyes flickered over at the ones of the creator’s, the prideful starlight turning to consideration. Miku placed her hand where Ichika’s would be, and Ichika obliged to be the catalyst.

 

“Close your eyes, okay?” Miku orchestrated, her hand relaxing almost at the will of Ichika’s mind and nerves, mimicking the responses she was sending to the phantom limb.

 

Ichika’s eyelids closed indescribably, her mind locked onto Shiho. She imagined the scars, the textures rough and gravelly of the scabs, the hiss of agony that came along with the dried blood. And with a firm exhale of air, her mind awoke to the words of the incantation.

 

“Kotu shi acka,” Ichika uttered, her eyes fluttering with consciousness as warmth spread to every inch of her body.

 

Her hand… was glowing. Just as it had the last time she had casted an incantation.

 

“Miku, I…” Ichika began, her eyes alit with perplexion, her lips agape as starlight travelled up her veins, illuminating underneath her skin. “I did it.”

 

Ichika turned her eyes over to where Miku once stood, but no one was there. In fact, no colour even showed up in her vision aside from her hand, and… Shiho.

 

“…Right,” Ichika affirmed, yet still a twinge disappointed she couldn’t show the creator what she had achieved. She sat down in the chair that once held Miku in it, and she reached her hand out to Shiho.

 

Warmth and pressure flooded to her fingertips, almost boiling her skin as she soaked in the light of her newfound hand. She washed her starlit-skin against Shiho’s scars, creating a trail of teal light against the wounds before watching them vanish entirely.

 

It’s working, Ichika realised, continuing to rest her hand against Shiho, watching as each scar faded in a fit of teal fluorescence. Ichika lifted her hand just above Shiho, the sensation of the boiling warmth leaving her hand and presumably tapping itself to Shiho instead.

 

Ichika let out a little giggle, pride smothering her as she managed to relieve Shiho of the pain, and prove to herself she was worthy of being strong enough.

 

And when the colours returned, did Shiho wake up.

 

“Ah, you’re awake,” murmured Ichika, retracting her star-woven hand to her side. “Sorry if I, uh, woke you,” she added nervously.

 

 

“It’s fine,” Shiho huffed out. “I don’t feel tired anymore.”

 

Ichika hummed in pride once more, her love-struck gaze homing in on Shiho. I’m glad she’s safe, Ichika thought to herself.

 

Ichika looked back at her hand once more – and the position she had been given. Maybe it’s time to tell Shiho about it, Ichika presumed. “I’ve been accepted as high mage of the alliance.”

 

Shiho’s response was strange, but not unlikely. She hesitated, looked out into the distance, and uttered, “I thought that position was restricted to Otori heirs,” In a groggy manner.

 

“Shizuku had-” Ichika began, but her voice was cut short to Shiho’s.

 

“Shizuku.” Shiho growled, the volume of her voice radiating through the room with such voracity that some of the nurses turned their heads to Shiho’s exclamation.

 

“Where is she.” Shiho muttered, but her tone didn’t seem all that malicious. Yet, Ichika remained concerned. “Can any of you bring her here?”

 

“Shiho-chan, my love, Shizuku was the one that rescued me and brought me here. S-sure she caused us to leave the kingdom and find her, but-” Ichika hoped to remedy her suspicions, but once more, her words were closed off.

 

“-I didn’t know if she was alive for however long I spent in that cell.” Shiho began, her panic arising in her throat, trembling through her tongue. “All I want is to see her again, even if she made me worry. …She saved your life, too.”

 

The people of Tenma… They tortured Shiho. They held her hostage. They did this. Ichika couldn’t help but be appalled.

 

And Shizuku… she’s heading right for them.

 

“They… did this?” Ichika uttered, even If it was futile. But the wilt in Shiho’s eyes and the tense grip Shiho tore from her blanket only continued to send Ichika into a spiral.

 

“I was shoved into a cell and t-tortured.” Shiho began, her voice low as she swallowed every few sentences to pause.

 

“Honami, she… injected countless of needles into my skin. I was their prisoner.” Shiho shivered, her voice meek, with a gaze that only the void could welcome. Every tremble, every crack, every hiss that etched Shiho’s mind sent Ichika into a flurry and rage at Saki.

 

I swear on my soul, I will murder that wretched princess if it’s the last thing I do. Ichika vowed. Nothing would stop those words from following fate.

 

“It was so cold,” Shiho hissed out, her voice shrinking into a whisper. Ichika wanted to strangle Saki, to burn the entire kingdom to the ground. She couldn’t let them get away with torture. “I couldn’t escape. I…” Shiho’s jaw clenched. “I can still feel it.”

 

Ichika felt as if her whole world was being destroyed by the Tenma kingdom. Everything she once stood for was ripping her new life into shreds. Ichika couldn’t let them take everything from her. She couldn’t let Saki win.

 

And now, Shizuku had fallen into the trap.

 

Ichika’s eyes fell hollow as she looked at Shiho. Ichika wanted to lie to Shiho and tell her it was fine, but it wasn’t. She couldn’t lie to someone she loved.

 

So, Ichika told her.

 

“…Shizuku doesn’t know that you’re here. No one does. I-I didn’t have the heart to tell Shizuku. To tell anyone.”

 

Ichika could feel her heart squeeze as Shiho’s gaze grew wide with horror. She couldn’t stand having to hold her thoughts and wither. She could feel the tears, but she couldn’t let herself cry. Not yet. She had to be strong.

 

“Because Shizuku I-is making her way to Tenma.”

 

Ichika looked at Shiho. At her pain and shock, and the numbness that settled in. But Shiho didn’t reply, Even if her emotions showed her answer, she didn’t say anything.

 

That was, until she gripped onto Ichika’s hand and pulled it tight.

 

 

“Ichika,” Shiho’s voice was desperate, and lonely. “Please… stay here with me.” Shiho’s voice began to break. “I want you here.”

 

“Of course,” Ichika responded, wrapping her hand around Shiho’s. “There is no day where I don’t want to stay by your side.”

 

“I love you, Ichika.” Shiho uttered, her words profound. Ichika relished in comforting Shiho – no matter the situation, she’d keep on loving her. Because Shiho was her knight.

 

“I love you too, my knight.”

Notes:

Again I want to apologize that this split Pov chapter wasn't released the same time as the other one, therefore spoiling the story and ultimately trivialising the main mechanic of these split pov chapters and that they can be read in any order. Another Apology goes to the people who were waiting to read Ichika's pov first and had to wait all this time for it. But I promise, the next time there is a split pov chapter, the povs will release the same time.

Chapter 41

Notes:

Y'all Ichika fans are eating good with these chapters cause I swear I've been writing so many of them lately and it's been so much fun

Ichika’s eyes entangled in her mind as she awoke once more, her mind flurried with questions. She sat down at her new desk as Chief Mage, her eyes glaring at the brooch that stood as her main purpose.

 

Yet, why did the sight of a crystal imbedded into woven metal send her into such disarray?

 

Ichika let out a frustrated gasp, pulling herself off of the luxurious chair to look around. No one was inside her office at the time, making her bombastic movements all the more strenuous.

 

She remembered what the commanders told her – that she’d have to stay in her office until someone arrived. She didn’t even see Shiho. She couldn’t even sleep. It felt like she was zoning in and out of reality.

 

“Why can’t they let me check on Shiho,” Ichika professed, digging her nails into her hair. “Why can’t I just take a break? Why do they-”

 

“-So you’re Hoshino.”

 

Dread swarmed Ichika’s feeble mind, her eyes twitching. She couldn’t turn around, her body frozen in place. It was humiliating.

 

A daunting step was taken as Ichika’s gaze trailed to the perpetrator’s shadow, which sleuthed across the floor to catch Ichika’s attention.

 

“Who… are you?” ichika whispered, her tongue being held down by her teeth as to stop herself from breaking down.

 

Ridged steps swerved through the air until the person who had once spoke stood before Ichika. Green hair, purple eyes… almost like the patient she saw.

 

The patient who died.

 

Ichika turned her gaze with a flinch, sweat beading down her forehead. She hadn’t slept the entire night when Shiho had arrived until she was finally kicked out of the medical facility. She tried to speak to Shiho, to see her, but she was escorted into this damn office. And now, someone who looked like someone Ichika witnessed being murdered was standing in front of her.

 

Why can’t all of this stop? Ichika begged. Her vision waned as nausea washed over her. Was she really this stressed? Why? Why couldn’t she-

 

 

“-Kusunagi Nene.” The girl in front of Ichika muttered. “I’m apparently supposed to train you.”

 

Ichika looked up from her frantic inner struggle, letting out a nervous laugh to try and welcome the person. Yet, she seemed like a complete and utter freak.

 

 “T-train?” Ichika quipped frantically, a fake smile plastered to her skin. “I don’t really think that it’s necessary right now,” She held her breath as Nene continued to eye at her.

 

“…” Nene scoffed at Ichika’s rampant remarks. “Too attached to your girlfriend to focus, aren’t you.”

 

Ichika’s smile dropped. No one should’ve known that Shiho was here, let alone their relationship. It was dead of knight when Ichika took Shiho into that medical facility. And now she was banned from seeing Shiho.

 

“How did you…” Ichika clenched her jaw, her fingers wrapped around her skull manically. Who even is this? “…Wh-why are you here, aside from training me?”

“I’m head of the stealth department, so I know who you are.” Nene elaborated, if a little jittery. “But because the grey-haired Hinomori is still-”

 

“There’s a stealth department?” Ichika choked out. She must’ve looked insane.

 

Nene’s brows furrowed. “…Yeah. Doesn’t Tenma educate their political parties about our departments?”

 

Ichika shook her head lightly – but not because of the question. She shook her head because she couldn’t fathom the idea of someone spying on her. And stress. Was she really stressed though? Was it paranoia? Anxiety? Why couldn’t it just go away then?

 

“Why did you spy on me?” Ichika twisted the conversation back to the person who had entered her office.

 

“Cause it’s my job…?” Nene murmured sassily. “And Emu wrote about you in one of her letters, so you’re in the Otori’s good graces.”

 

“…Emu? The pink haired-” Ichika began, but her queries were cut short by a sigh exiting Nene’s mouth. “Alright, enough introductions. I need you to prove your affinity, okay?”

 

Ichika wanted to rebuttal. In fact, she hesitated to even say anything. Nene was so straightforward and dismissive that Ichika’s tongue stayed put on the roof of her mouth.

 

Get out of my office, Ichika wanted to say. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t born a mean-spirited person. But she sure wished she was now.

 

“I…” Ichika began, her eyes flittering about. How do I prove someone of my affinity? Do I recite an incantation? Share my affinity with them? Ask Miku something about it?

 

“I don’t have all day, Hoshino. Just… perform a random rune, or something.” Nene pressured.

 

Right. An incantation. Ichika surmised, nodding firmly. Then why did she feel so strained and frustrated? Was it the stress? No, was she even stressed? Why was she even stressed?

 

She couldn’t say she was doing it for Shiho, since it was purely out of her own gain. But was this a test? Would her role get revoked? Would she be banished?

 

What did Shiho even teach her? Was it worth it to remember? Couldn’t she just prove it by saying she had it? Couldn’t Nene just give her an incantation to recite?

 

“Hoshino, do you know any runes?” Nene’s brows raised in judgement, her hand meeting the bridge of her nose as she realised just how pathetic Ichika was.

 

“Y-yeah,” Ichika gave her best fake laugh. “Just.. thinking of which one to do.”

 

Nene rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh.”

 

Think, Ichika begged herself. She couldn’t fail. She had to continue. She had to. What was the first spell she even learnt? That light spell?

 

Ichika let out a huff disguised as a regular exhale, filtering through her memories once more. Didn’t I use it when I saw Honami out near the inn? Yeah, a-and I used that incantation. Lu-i… something? Ichika’s fist grew tense as she continued to think. Lui’quai… zenmuka? No, it’s-

 

“Lui’qai zenmua.” Ichika uttered shakenly, her amputated hand reaching out. Ichika awaited the orb of light with bated breath, wondering, begging that it would appear. That she wouldn’t disappoint Nene. That she could do something with her godforsaken life.

 

It worked.

 

“What.” Nene’s violet eyes flashed with surprise, her gasp so authentic that Ichika couldn’t help but forfeit a smile to her senses. Against her star-touched fingertips was an orb created with the same light that glittered across her hand. A tried-and-true celestial affinity.

 

“S-see? Now can you-” Ichika caught herself before finishing the sentence. “Sorry, I’m just…”

 

“I can see.” Nene muttered to herself, almost mockingly so. “I’ll go report to the Otoris and you can… do whatever you’re doing.”

 

“Nene.” Ichika hissed out, stepping forward. She didn’t care that she came off as obsessive and crazy. Did she look like how Honami looked when she last saw her? Was this how it felt to be stressed?

 

“Are you able to let me see Shiho?” Ichika begged, her fist clenched. “Or just let her see me, anything th-”

 

“No.” Nene responded coldly. “It’ll drag suspicion. You already have quite the rumours surrounding you, Hoshino.”

 

“…What?” The word escaped Ichika’s mouth, her eyes gazing out at where Nene stood. Instead, Nene was gone.

 

Ichika didn’t understand. Was this what it felt like to go insane? She couldn’t even do anything – If she walked out, would she just… die? Would they hunt her? Was this all a test?

 

She needed to sleep. She needed to do something. She needed Shiho. She needed Shiho. But she couldn’t hear anything but her thoughts.

 

That was, until someone opened the door.

 

“…Shiho?”

Notes:

I'm so sorry if this chapter doesn't make sense - I'm writing these scenes chronologically, and I felt like introducing Ichika's overwhelm and unfamiliarity would be a good fit after the reunion. Especially since this will be a turning point for Ichika, which will be elaborated more in Shiho's chapter after this one.

Also another small thing is that the reason Nene is so cold is because she's only just heard the news of Rui's death, so she's currently grieving the loss of a childhood friend :>

Chapter 42

Notes:

No joke while writing this chapter I kept on thinking ‘it’s too out of character’ and ‘I should just rewrite it’, but hey, who said brute force and constant revision wasn’t a solution to my sloppy writing? Also if this is out of character I already know that someone would tell me and I’d figure it out eventually

Shiho wrapped her scrawny fingertips against the doorhandle, shaking from the copious amounts of energy exerted from just walking over. She knew that there were no issues with her scars, which she presumed that Ichika was to answer for. But that didn’t mean that the toxins that spread throughout her veins could miraculously be removed via affinity.

 

…Was she too late?

 

There was a chance Ichika were to be locked up. And that scared Shiho more than anything else. Watching the treatment she had just gone through be given to the one she loved most, was horrifying, even in theory.

 

She just needed to get to Ichika – the nurses told her that the Kusunagis ordered a security measure. Of course they fucking did, Shiho thought to herself. Just when Sis is out and when Ichika is defenceless. Such welcoming choices. She racked her brain with sarcasm to cover her anxiety.

 

Maybe it was the drugs still in her body, or maybe it was another hallucination. Maybe she was the fool that misheard everything to spawn yet another damned nightmare.

 

And yet, she still shoved the door open.

 

Shiho fumbled into the office, her eyes darting all over the place. She couldn’t see much of anything, her brain too overwhelmed and drugged for her to even conjure up a sentence without proper footing.

 

But in the corner of her eye, the person she loved most greeted her gaze.

 

“Shiho?” Ichika uttered, eyebags laced under her eyes. Shiho stared over at Ichika diligently, her own gaze faltering, if only slightly.

 

“I heard they chose to run through a security test today,” Shiho huffed out, clamouring herself inside. “That you were locked inside here, too.”

 

Ichika nodded her head wearily, her mind aloof, her hand pulled close to her torso as she fiddled with one of the buttons on her uniform. “Y-yeah, they… did the security test.” She confirmed.

 

“You… haven’t slept.” Shiho pointed out, her eyes squinting. Do I look judgy? Shiho overthought, No, it's Ichika, she’d understand.

 

“They forced me out of the medical facility you were in,” Ichika laughed half-heartedly, “It’s really cheesy, but I didn’t sleep because I was worried about you.”

 

“It’s not cheesy,” Shiho remarked, trying to come off as serious. The bright red pigmentation detailing her cheeks betrayed her seriousness, though.

 

“Have they given you anything to eat?” Shiho asked, her eyes darting around the vicinity. It’s actually not too shabby in here, she noticed.

 

“Nope,” Ichika sighed, plopping herself against a grandiose chair, her hand placed in her lap politely as she lowered her gaze. “I guess when they kicked me out and took me here, they thought I already ate something,” She elaborated.

 

“I guess we have a schedule set, then.” Shiho remarked. “And if this ever happens again, I’ll-”

 

“I know, my love. You’ll put in your word.” Ichika smiled back, showing a petal of genuine glee amidst the drowsiness that warped her perception.

 

Shiho held Ichika by the hand, her senses recharging after a fair moment of rest. She was still weary of any instances of hallucinations or visions, but she was far more inclined to pay attention to Ichika’s state.

 

Once they were out of the building, Shiho began to guide Ichika over to one of the undercover markets, where she buys her bandages. If I remember correctly, they restock desserts and sweets today, Shiho thought to herself. All the other places sell things that are too sweet, and Ichika likes bitter things…

 

“Shiho?” Ichika uttered, catching Shiho out of her thought-filled daze. “Hm?” She hummed back, slowing down the pace of her steps.

 

“How did you know where to find me?” Ichika questioned meekly.

 

“I noticed you weren’t there, and…” Shiho bit her lip. I can’t tell her how I threatened the nurses, Shiho realised. “…I asked one of the nurses.”

 

“You threatened them, didn’t you?” Ichika remarked with a knowing look.

 

Damnit, Shiho thought. I’m not that predictable, right?

 

Shiho adverted her gaze, hissing out a sigh of embarrassment. “Yeah…” She murmured.

 

“It’s okay,” Ichika smiled gently, her tired eyes now looking less soulless. “You don’t have to lie to me,  Shiho. I-I know it’s difficult to stop habits like that, but you don’t have to lie to me about things like these.” Ichika paused, her lips pecking Shiho’s cheek. “I’ll always love you, my knight.”

 

Shiho’s eyes fluttered, her surprise blemished with blush that reached her neck. She placed her fingers up to her cheek, the heat warming up her frosted fingertips. Ichika let out a small laugh, her smile a divine sight to Shiho’s tired eyes.

 

“You… are real, right?” Shiho uttered, almost like it was second nature.

 

“Of course,” Ichika responded. She didn’t judge Shiho for asking such a question, too. “If I wasn’t, I’d probably not be talking right now.”

 

Even if you’re not real, I want you here with me. Shiho whispered to her mind. I want you to stay with me, Ichika.

 

Shiho could only smile at her soulmate, holding her hand gently. She loved Ichika. So much. And judging by the fact that Ichika couldn’t stop worrying about her, Shiho would say that Ichika loved her just as much.

 

Shiho finally approached the market, greeting the stall vendor and ordering some sweets. She knew that the health benefits weren’t all that great, but giving how the both of them hadn’t eaten in a while, she thought that something of comfort would be worth it.

 

“These are so good,” Ichika exclaimed, shoving the candy into her mouth. “Tenma would only gave out super sweet stuff, but this,” Ichika motioned to her plate of dessert, “This is good.”

 

“I remembered how you told me about how you enjoyed bitter things back when we were at Tenma, so I thought of getting these.” Shiho answered, having her own share of a bitter-tooth to match.

 

“You remembered that?” Ichika perked up. “I thought that I was just talking too much, and that you weren’t really listening at the time,” She added.

 

“Sis would always just talk and talk,” Shiho let out a sigh, “I kinda got used to listening to people. And also cause I don’t have a lot of friends to worry about, so I keep my mind on things that you say.”

 

Ichika’s smile dampened to something reminiscent of concern. “I don’t get how someone like you could be so… lonely.”

 

Shiho frowned at Ichika’s words. “I’m not lonely. That makes me sound like I’m whining about not having anyone around.” She retorted.

 

“Well, you aren’t lonely anymore,” Ichika smiled, pausing before adding, “It’s okay to admit you were lonely back then. I mean, I was so stupid back when I thought it was the end of the world that your existence was still a thing,” Ichika laughed, but the passion wrung dry in her tone.

 

“Saki hid things from you,” Shiho explained, finding Ichika’s personal loathing as inconsiderate of her circumstance. “And she lied to you when you didn’t know better but to trust the person in front of you.”

 

“But I was at least a little at fault,” Ichika added. “I didn’t listen to you when you were there. Well, until it was too late, that is.”

 

Shiho looked at Ichika, brushing her thumb upon Ichika’s cheek. “It’s not your fault.” Shiho uttered with conviction in her tone. “If that never happened, what’s here today would have never taken place.”

 

“If you didn’t talk to me and tell me your true feelings, I would’ve never met you.”

 

“My true feelings…” Ichika uttered to herself. “You know, that day was the day I fell in love with you.”

 

“And the stars looked upon us.” Shiho smiled. She knew that Ichika was normally one to joke about things, but she decided to pull her own pun towards Ichika’s affinity. And judging by Ichika’s heart-struck laugh, the joke was delivered.

 

“I love you, my knight.”

 

“I love you too, Ichika.”

Notes:

THEY REMOVED MY DAMN END NOTES COME ON...

so uh i'll try to rewrite it (I was having trouble uploading this cause my computer was being a little bitch)

Y'ALL THE VALENTINES DAY EVENT?? HELLO??? MY MIZUMAFU SHIZUHARU ASS IS GONNA TIER FOR IT NO JOKE. YOU WILL SEE ME ON THAT LEADERBOARD AND I WILL BE DRAWING FANART OF THOSE GORGEOUS FUCKING CARDS HOLY SHIT THEYRE SO PRETTY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY HAD TWO OF MY FAV PJSK SHIPS IN ONE EVENT???? my crystals are gonna be gone aren't they 😭😭😭

Chapter 43

Unbecoming did the chains stare back, with the harrowing figure of a hollow marionette shatter into violence and agony.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Honami shoved her brittle bones against the bars, her body crumpled in bruises from the physical harm she had inflicted out of her pure, unadulterated riot. Shuffles and splutters exited her mouth as she continued to bash herself at the sight she stared back at.

 

“Oh…” She laughed maniacally, her nails digging into her flesh as her smile unnaturally curved into a crescent. “You BASTARD!”

 

“DIE!” Honami chanted. “ROT IN HELL!” She continued, her flurries of laughter turning into heaves and sobs. “YOU! Y-YOU… you…!”

 

Honami couldn’t force a smile anymore. She couldn’t rage or scream or barter. She couldn’t even try to feel.

 

“I can’t do this anymore.” She bit her lip, her legs limp as she crumpled to her knees. “I… I can’t do this…!”

 

Tears strewn across her face now piled against her skin, sliding down her cheeks onto the cell floor.

 

“…I don’t want to get up.” Honami smashed her head into the bar. “I…”

 

“I don’t want to live.”

 

She was a despicable being. One that had tortured her friends and resorted to murder. One who went insane and buried her mind in her own misfortune. One who couldn’t even help the one person that still wanted her.

 

She would never please anyone, would she?

 

“Why…” Again, she looked at the dislodged chains. Ones that were born for hellish people such as her to be cast in. Chains that she had locked up an innocent person for doing nothing more than existing.

 

“I don’t deserve forgiveness,” She wept, clinging to the bars, her nails grinding against the metal. “…All I wanted was for them to see me as their friend.”

 

“Honami!”

 

The rose-haired girl looked up at her princess, who looked far more concerned at the sight of her mage brutally punishing herself with agony.

 

“Saki-chan,” Honami rasped. She didn’t dare to look at the princess. “I’ve failed you.”

 

“No, Honami.” Saki exclaimed, making her way to her mage, crouching down to pick up Honami’s battered fingers and interlock them in hers. “P-please…”

 

“Don’t leave me like Ichi-chan did.” Saki begged. “I need you...!”

 

“But I…” Honami began, her voice shaking. She… she didn’t fail. She didn’t fail Saki.

 

“Remember what I told you,” Saki elaborated, “I told you I’d never try and hurt you on purpose. Never.”

 

“I’m so sorry…” Honami closed her eyes, her body tense. “I thought that…”

 

Saki wrapped her hands around Honami, her tears spilling from her cheeks. “I love you, Hona-chan.”

 

“Saki-chan…” Honami looked down, flustered. “I love you too.”

 

“D-do you think we’ll find them?” Honami asked hesitantly. “That… they’ll be our friends again, like you said?”

 

Saki remained silent for a time, contemplating. Even if the answer was true to both of them.

 

“…No.”

Notes:

Tragic HonaSaki (I have no clue what else to put)

Chapter 44

Notes:

Y'all school is hell I'm so sorry this chapter took a week I did not expect the sheer amount of homework I rushed

Ichika looked out at the horizon, walking her way through the marbled buildings encased in frothy layers of snow. Her tunic clung to her torso, with the red embellishments tied to her waist lined with a trail of thread.

 

“Is everything alright?” Shiho queried, her eyes downcast despite her concern. Her silver hair brushed against her cheeks, with her crimson-coloured wool toiling across her neck.

 

“I just…” Ichika bit her lip, halting in her tracks, if only briefly so. “I don’t know if I’m able to fill my role. If I’m strong enough for all of us.” She answered honestly. “I know that this is the life I want, but after everything…”

 

“It’s okay.” Shiho answered, her eyes glinting with a small amount of confidence. “We’ll figure something out. You’re not deployed just yet.”

 

“Deployed,” The word sounded strange to Ichika, rolling off her tongue uncomfortably.

 

“Us commanders are our own bosses.” Shiho elaborated. “I just use the word out of habit.”

 

“Oh,” Ichika responded, but her words wrung dry. To fight… was it worth it? Was she really that valuable?

 

“Ichika, don’t doubt yourself just because you were born in Tenma.” Shiho spoke. “I also came from somewhere else during the war.”

 

“War?” Ichika uttered, the word escaping her mouth. “I didn’t know that there was a war going on,”

 

“No, not now, but back then…” Shiho hissed out a breath. “…they took me in as one of their soldiers.”

 

“Why?” Ichika asked, earning a flinch from Shiho’s neck.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Shiho’s voice was low, her eyes burrowed in shadows. “It’s stupid. I’m stupid. I would’ve never stayed back there if I knew better.”

 

“…” Ichika paused.

 

“You’re not from Tenma, are you, Shiho?” Her words were gentle, her hand wrapping around Shiho’s out of her fear of losing Shiho. “You don’t need to tell me, my knight. But you shouldn’t let it hold you back.”

 

“It’s… difficult.” Shiho muttered. “I was from Tenma, though. But the war wasn’t about Tenma.”

 

“I believe you.” Ichika reassured. “You don’t need to tell me anything else. We might have to head back to the…” “High officials’ headquarters?” “Y-yeah,”

 

Shiho gave Ichika a nod, even after correcting the azure haired individual. She stood up from the bench where they had been resting, her eyes staring out at the horizon.

 

Again, the questions flooded like the snow that pattered against her body. She could feel each query and whisper latch onto her.

 

Was she destined to be a weapon? Who was she, if not her affinity?

 

Ichika couldn’t accept the idea that she was somehow nothing without her affinity. Yes, her affinity got her to where she was, but she had to prove it to everyone. She had spent too much time wasting away in a kingdom she wasn’t meant for. Now, she had the time and the power to do something about her life.

 

Now, she could do something that wasn’t meaningless.

 

“Hey, Shiho,” Ichika uttered, looking back at her non-existent hand. She could feel the sensation of her fingers curling, of her wrist twirling, of her skin moving to her commands. She felt it, and yet… it wasn’t there.

 

“Yes?” Shiho uttered, catching Ichika’s gaze with her own.

 

“Do you think that… I deserve to be high mage?” She asked. She knew she was strong enough to have it. But did she earn it? Did she really deserve such a position?

 

“I used to ask myself the same thing when I was first initiated as Commander of the White Knights,” Shiho uttered. “But it doesn’t matter if you’re different, or strange, or haven’t practiced the role. Not when people knew you would be the one for the role.” Shiho let out a sigh, a small smile gracing her. “Because as much as you may think that you don’t deserve it, the person who vouched for you was right to think that you had the potential.”

 

Ichika looked over at the one she loved, each word whispered into her ears coming from true experience. And now that Ichika knew that Shiho didn’t originally come from the alliance, did it make it all the more believable.

 

“I love you, Shiho.” Ichika smiled. “You have such a way with words. Like a wordsmith.”

 

“…” Shiho paused for a minute, taking in what Ichika said. “’Wordsmith’? Was that a… joke?” Shiho grappled, her infamous scowl locked tight on her face.

 

“Maybe,” Ichika hummed, turning her face away as to not reveal the answer, much to Shiho’s confusion. Shiho was too adorable not to tease in Ichika’s eyes.

 

A long sigh prolonged the silence, with Ichika allowing herself a smile.

 

“Maybe I am right for this role,” She smiled.

 

Her smile didn’t last long when she saw a magenta-haired knight stride her way over to Shiho, frowning in tow.

 

“Hinomori Shiho, You’re telling me that you chose to leave the wellness facility to go on a date?” Scoffed Momoi Airi, her hair swaying frustratedly at her exclamation. “And you too, Hoshino, leaving your duties for me to clean up while you stare out at the snow all leisurely?”

 

“Seriously, you two, you’re not even hiding it!” She groaned. “You have no idea what it’s like to try and talk with the Ayoagis about losing track on both of you.”

 

“But Ichika finished the security test,” Shiho scowled. “And they don’t even know I’m here.”

 

“Maybe you should’ve been a bit more discreet when you were seconds away from passing out in the street the other day than to say that, Hinomori.” Airi huffed. “And if it weren’t for the both of you sneaking out, I wouldn’t’ve had to spend my break fetching you.”

 

“I’m so sorry, commander Momoi,” Ichika apologised, feeling the need to salvage the situation, earning a surprised glance from Airi in the process. “I-I didn’t think that we’d be causing you so much trouble. It was my fault all of this happened, and I-”

 

“-You don’t have to lie for your girlfriend, Hoshino. Neither of you are getting punished.” Airi admitted. “But you do both owe me a free break cause there’s no chance I’m speaking to that hot-headed, stubborn piece of work again.”

 

Before Airi went to leave, she gave Ichika a small glance. “I also just want to congratulate you for landing the role of high mage. Even the Kusunagis respect you.” Airi smiled in a genuine manner. “I’ll see you around.”

 

Airi left with her usual valour, her hand almost strapped to her sheath like an instinct, her hair slowly swaying in the ice-infested breeze. Ichika sighed an anxious breath out, letting herself relax after suddenly being targeted.

 

“How did she know we were together?” Ichika asked, glancing over towards her girlfriend. Shiho’s face turned red almost immediately, prickling with crimson.

 

“I, uh… told her when I escaped Tenma.” Shiho elaborated. “I-It was an impulsive decision, I know,” She added, trying to help her case, but Ichika didn’t mind at all.

 

“It’s okay, Shiho,” Ichika smiled. “I’m fine with it. …Just maybe tell me first, okay?”

 

“Yeah…” Shiho uttered, her embarrassed tone almost fitting despite how odd it sounded in contrast to her regular tone. Shiho wasn’t one to let embarrassment take over her, but Ichika didn’t mind it. She was glad Shiho was able to show emotions, even after everything.

 

Ichika didn’t know how long it had been since she last felt comfortable. But she did know that in this moment, standing next to Shiho, looking out at the world, did she truly feel at ease.

 

Wind brushed upon her tunic, her short hair gliding against the sudden shift of movement. As Shiho had put it, they were heading to the ‘High Officials’ Headquarters’, a place she had no clue about.

 

“What’s the High Officials’ Headquarters like?” Ichika brought up, hoping that it didn’t bother Shiho. The query was mundane but needed in Ichika’s eyes.

 

“Boring.” Shiho huffed, her eyes narrow from the thick snow that laced against her skin. “It’s where all of the department leaders meet. There is no real birthright in the alliance, since we all earn our positions.”

 

Ichika nodded, intrigued in the laws of the alliance. “But Momoi mentioned something about an Ayoagi house,” Ichika murmured.

 

“When people gain a position, everyone under their name shares part in assisting the head of the department. Normally, people allow their kids to organise their departments when they leave the alliance to do something else.” Shiho explained.

 

“Sis and I are different, where we both have our own departments. Sis shares her department with Momoi, and I work alongside the military as one of the highest-ranking soldiers.”

 

Ichika listened to every word, awestruck by the fluid democratic society of her new home. She had never thought that earning positions of power would be so reliable than imperial hierarchal systems, like the one in Tenma.

 

“Sorry, I haven’t answered your question,” Shiho realised, almost frantically so. “The Ayoagi house is in charge of censorship and architecture. They used to be two different departments, but that son of a gun just existed to impose his stupid legacy and stain our name.” Shiho hissed, her eyes flickering about.

 

“Don’t talk to him, whatever you do. He’s the perfectionist type, and will end up hyper-analysing what you say to fit into whatever stereotype he’s boxed you in. Sadly, he has a good relationship with the Otoris, and actually does a good job at his role, so we can’t exactly do much about him.”

 

Ichika gave her girlfriend a nod at the instructions, her mind focussed on the cobbled walkways and the path ahead. She didn’t know how long it would take to get to the Headquarters, but at least she had an idea of where she was going.

 

Despite everything being fairly unfamiliar, Ichika still tried her best to keep a good mental state. She still felt drowsy from the lack of sleep, but her body was awake. She could feel the cold chill of the snow-sunken air trail the fabric of her tunic, her eyes looming across the winter themed architecture.

 

She didn’t know how long it would take until she got used to this place, especially with the unfamiliarity almost encompassing her every step. She didn’t know what she was doing, but unlike how she was in Tenma, she was welcomed. And when the history of the creation of the alliance was that it was a place of refuge, Ichika couldn’t help but see how much of it had truly lived up to the brief.

 

Ichika knew that, one day, she’d have to leave the life of a soldier to settle down. She wanted to settle down even now and just learn and understand the world. But when Saki was still alive, the root of all the misfortune she had gone through… All of it seemed so futile to achieve.

 

“The coronation,” Ichika hissed, stopping in her tracks. “The coronation is soon. A-and Shizuku, she…”

 

Shiho’s eyes widened, her gaze an uncomfortable stagnation embedded into her horror. Her eyes dimmed from emerald to grey as she too realised the urgency of the propagated situation.

 

“Shit,” Shiho exclaimed, her movements frantic as she twisted herself around. “They’re trying to drag us out. And we fell for it!” Shiho screeched, her horror seeping through her wrath.

 

“Ichika, I need you to find Momoi. We don’t have time to plan.” Shiho commanded; her arm holstered on the sheath that held her sword. “I can’t lose Shizuku. I can’t lose sis.”

 

“Wh-where would Momoi be?” Ichika asked, her words crunching in against each other.

 

“Headquarters. You see that tower there? That’s the headquarters.” Shiho explained. “I-I’ll wrangle the Otoris.”

 

“Got it, Shiho.” Ichika nodded.

 

All she hoped was that she wasn’t out of time.

Notes:

Me when arc 2 is approaching and I know exactly how it's gonna start

Y'all aint ready for the next couple of chapters

Chapter 45

Notes:

This fic is quite literally the subtle foreshadowing trend.

“You can’t be fucking serious!” Shiho screeched out, her trembling hands slammed against the table, her lips pursed out of both panic and petulance. “They held me for hostage!”

 

“But they haven’t done anything.” Mr. Yoisaki, lead of the trade association, bartered. “We don’t know if that could just be one of your… stunts, Hinomori.”

 

“You can’t be serious,” Shiho hissed. “You don’t even own any right to the military!”

 

“That is true.” Mr. Yoisaki continued. “It is your choice. If you wish to deploy the army, so be it. I just don’t think it’s wise.”

 

“Your daughter could get murdered.” Shiho uttered, catching the silver-haired man off guard.

 

“Kanade,” He murmured, his eyes sunken from his old age, his arms neat, yet unfocussed. “…They haven’t waged war just yet. But if you are suspicious, Hinomori, go forth.”

 

“That’s all you have to say? ‘go forth’?” Shiho gritted her teeth. “…” She paused, reanimating her brain, looking back on the words exchanged.

 

“It’s my call…?” Shiho noticed. How long had she filtered out Mr. Yoisaki’s words with deniability?

 

“Yes, Hinomori. …I do not make the laws.” Mr. Yoisaki elaborated.

 

“We trust your judgement, miss Shiho.” Hinata, one of the Otori leaders, reaffirmed. “However, I’d like it if my brothers were not involved.”

 

“I’m not waging war here,” Shiho explained. “I only need a small defence unit.”

 

“And if I may…” Hinata added, her ruby eyes downcast. “Please bring back Emu safely, please.”

 

Shiho gave a nod, noticing Hinata’s tone wavering. It would make sense that she’d be concerned with her sister being gone for so long.

 

“Are you bringing that mage?” Ms. Kusunagi asked, almost prompting Shiho to scowl with such a respectless way of addressing Ichika.

 

“That’s her decision.” Shiho responded, if a little irritated. “I’m not gonna force her to do anything.”

 

“Wouldn’t it be beneficial to at least deploy her in a different unit?” The green-haired leader of the stealth department retorted.

 

“Ichika wouldn’t fare well in her own unit.” Shiho’s eyes trailed down to her side. “She may be powerful, but she doesn’t like fighting. Being raised as a knight and only recently learning her affinity are also setbacks.”

 

“You seem to know a lot about her,” Hinata pointed out.

 

“She’s my co-worker. Of course I’d know about her.” Shiho elaborated. She wouldn’t dare admit her personal relations with Ichika to the alliance just yet.

 

Just as Shiho was about to leave the round table of the department heads, the door slammed open with a bang.

 

“Shiho, I’ve got your message. We’ll head out in an hour.” Airi strode, her magenta hair and her heavy footsteps ringing throughout the room. Shiho took a step back, her eyes focussed on the person behind Airi.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho uttered, looking at her soulmate with surprise. “I-I didn’t think that you’d be able to get Momoi this quickly,” She uttered. “A-are you coming to Tenma?”

 

“Yeah, I am.” Ichika nodded.

 

“Seems you were incorrect, Hinomori,” Ms. Kusunagi commented, sneering at Shiho.

 

“…” Shiho chose not to react, with Ichika choosing not to affirm Ms. Kusunagi’s suspicions. She probably already knows, knowing the stealth department, Shiho surmised.

 

“You’re only in this position because your daughter is ineligible. Don’t test me to change the law.” Momoi remarked, shutting up the green-haired woman immediately.

 

Airi let out a sigh, her eyes morphing into a scowl of concern for Shiho. “If anything happens on the way, retreat. No matter what.” Airi commanded.

 

“Yes.” Shiho uttered, her eyes daunting against the spectacle, her body trailing out of the round table and to the hall.

 

“Momoi, I’ll be right back. I just need some rations.” Shiho remarked, getting a nod from Airi in reply.

 

Shiho’s heart grew heavy knowing what was going on. Everything, from the soulless patterns of the snow, to the endless corridors loomed against her. She had to save Shizuku. She had to make it out alive.

 

She had to.

 

Shiho didn’t want to go to Tenma again. She didn’t want to leave and go out to battle, dragging Ichika along with her. But Shizuku, her sister, the one who saved her from the clutches of her past, was on the line.

 

Shiho remembered the thick rain against the marshlands as the battle ensued, with Shiho clutching onto Shizuku’s hand. Blood pooled at her feet as steel wretched through her systems. Tagaki-chan stood behind the path, pulling Shiho, begging her to stay.

 

And like that night, that horrid battle, did blood continue to pour at Shiho’s feet.

 

She always knew that when her mind was to warp, blood would swarm, and the stench of corpses would ruminate against her. But she couldn’t bring herself to believe it was fiction. Not when it all felt so… real.

 

Shiho hated that she left. She’d hate herself if she stayed, too. There was no real way for her not to loathe the person she was.

 

“…Little sis Shiho?”

 

Shiho’s heart stopped. Her blood became congested, tense against the pulse. Her throat choked out a whimper, a cold shiver endorsing her dismay like a wax seal against an envelope.

 

She knew that voice. She knew it well.

 

A figure almost grotesque strode alongside the hall, while thick, oozing tendril-like fingers caught wind of Shiho’s jaw. “…Playing coy with me?” the mage indulged.

 

“Y… you’re not real.” Shiho spat out. Was it the grey staining her eyesight that made her nauseous, or the voice being spat back at her?

 

“You must be confused, little sis!” The mage enticed, her body lethargically trailing towards Shiho’s gaze.

 

Bright, almost uncomfortable eyes pierced Shiho’s swollen heart, like daggers sinking into flesh. Hair akin to the ocean, embroidered with a deep, darkened black ran through. A ghoulish figure, with one’s rib cage encapsulated and open in stasis, bleeding a grey unique to the wielder.

 

She knew this sight. Someone once human turned into nothing more than an eldritch memory. Someone who Shiho would’ve became.

 

Someone she couldn’t bear to face.

 

“Don’t look at me like that, little sis,” The eldritch horror grinned, her eyes unnaturally twisting towards Shiho. “…or are you not done with your little game?”

 

“F-fuck off,” Shiho jittered. She knew that the mage before her was able to paralyse individuals, but to feel it, to sense it travelling up her blood… it was utterly inconceivable.

 

“You’re… not coming home?” The girl pouted, cupping Shiho’s chin with her grotesque fingertips. “Ah, how… sad.”

 

Shiho was slapped by the figure, her body lurching uncomfortably by the perpetrators’ will. “N-n-no, I-I’ll-” Shiho stuttered, but once more, she was injected with agony.

 

“You’ll what, little sister?” She smirked.

 

“Please… please stop!” Shiho begged, her body curled inwards against the monster’s grasp.

 

“I-I’ll come home, I’ll…!” Shiho shrieked, writhing to escape from her grasp.

 

But there was nothing left for her. She couldn’t overpower someone who she didn’t even know in regard to capability. Someone who she had only seen as a kid, morphed into a monstrosity. And she had no choice but to allow her own demise.

 

“Hm? Could you-”

 

“Shiho!” uttered a tone Shiho was undoubtably comfortable with. A voice that she knew would never betray, or destroy her. Ichika.

 

Shiho backed away, looking back at her hands. She knew it was a hallucination. She knew it wasn’t real.

 

Then why did it feel so uncomfortably akin to reality?

 

“Another hallucination?” Ichika asked rhetorically, her hands gently pulling themselves to Shiho. “It’s okay. Everything is okay.”

 

“I-I just… felt so powerless,” Shiho remarked. Ichika didn’t frown, or grimace, or scowl. Instead, her smile that branched across her face looked bittersweet.

 

“No matter what you do, remember that every choice is yours to make.” Ichika smiled. “And as long as I’m here, I’ll protect you.”

 

Embarrassment overtook Shiho, her face turning bright red. “You make it sound so…” She huffed out, unable to find the correct word in time.

 

“Easy?” Ichika asked, filling in the sentence for her beloved. Shiho simply looked out, dazed.

 

“I… guess so.” Shiho answered. “Sorry, just… zoning out.”

 

“Then why not go get some tea?” Ichika queried, her gentle hand wrapping against her soulmate’s. “Or do you want to do some training instead?”

 

“Whatever you like, Ichi.” Shiho replied, allowing a brief smile to play against her face.

 

“Alrighty, my knight.” Ichika exclaimed bubbly.

 

“Let’s enjoy the time we have together.”

Notes:

CRK GIMME PV AWAKENED *2 I ONLY NEED 1 MORE SOULSTONE I BEG OF YOU

Chapter 46

Notes:

Small chapter, setup mostly. Would've made it longer but now that academic validation isn't working my attention-craving brain is like 'post on Ao3, check your inbox' every two minutes😭

Ichika looked out onto the dusk, the sun slowly setting as their fleet began to set off. She looked out to the stars, the creator’s one gift to the world, despite her being able to see stars in any time of day. But, amidst the constellations, drew unease bubbling beneath the rippling clouds.

 

Ichika trudged her way next to Shiho, her hand clutching onto the tome-book she was handed. The crickets hissed out in the moonlight, the muck and mud trampling their every step.

 

Ichika could feel her beating heart, the eerie glimmer of the stars, and the world as a whole chose to watch her. She wondered if it had anything to do with her affinity – especially on a night wherein the stars were visible to the point of glimmering.

 

She could only wonder what she was truly capable of.

 

“Shiho,” Ichika uttered, catching the grey-haired knight using a whetstone to sharpen her blade. “Do you think we’ll have to partake in the… coronation?”

 

Coronation. A word she couldn’t fathom now that she was free from all the preparations from it. Saki had chanted and alluded to it being one of the most impactful events in all of history. Ichika thought she was overestimating it, but now…

 

…Maybe her excitement masked the weight behind her façade.

 

“There’s a high chance, yeah.” Shiho sighed, her tired eyes hung low and tired. “…if it helps you from dreading it, then…” Shiho looked out into the distance, taking in a long pause.

 

“Then I’ll tell you stuff no one else knows if we make it out alive.”

 

Ichika paused, a frown catching her brow. “What do you mean?”

 

“…Like how other factions operate. Headquarter locations. Secrets that not even a single soul in the alliance know about.” Shiho elaborated. “…And what I was like… before the alliance.”

 

Ichika stared intently at Shiho – the constant internal fear that plagued her as she uttered those final three words. The way her heart ached to even so much as remember.

 

“You don’t have to tell me.” Ichika professed. She never wanted to see Shiho under the cusp of fear.

 

“You deserve to know, Ichi.” Shiho stated, as if it were fact. “And as much as I wish to tell you, I… I know, after the coronation, we’ll never have any worries.”

 

A small, miniscule part of Ichika could sense doubt in Shiho’s tone. But she couldn’t let such nihilistic views overwhelm her sense of being.

 

Shiho tilted her head up, noticing flickering lights. “Our ride from the outpost. It’s just over there.”

 

Ichika gave herself a moment to look out, the stars gleaming above, the ground chirping to every step she strode upon. A world born of celestial magic, created by the gods, ruled over by the fragments of hope that presided in it.

 

But Imperia was a dystopia. A place wherein no true rules could ever come to be. Where villains and victims could be placed the same guilt or amnesty. Where Ichika couldn’t defend herself despite the ultimate truth being that she never killed Rui.

 

“…Ichika.” A flickering voice, one as unique as the patterned stars above. The creator Miku.

 

“I sense doubt,” Miku walked in front, her eyes gazing out at the dusk. “Doubt for the world.”

 

Ichika quickly caught her way up to Shiho, giving Miku a concerned frown. She hoped that Miku could understand what was being implied.

 

“Ah,” Miku hummed. “…You’re afraid, aren’t you.”

 

Ichika gave a barely noticeable nod, which Miku still could understand.

 

“Don’t be.” Miku smiled. “I’ll be watching. If you need me, my star pupil, call out to me!” She let out a goofy grin to match her cheesy words.

 

Ichika tried to keep a straight face, but a smirk made its way to her face.

 

“Don’t act like that doesn’t apply to your girlfriend, too!” Miku pouted. “But she can’t see me, so just say you saw a vision.”

 

Ichika looked back at Miku, hoping to see whatever facial expression was trapped against the Creator’s face, but the stardust-woven individual was no longer available.

 

The lights of the carriage grew near, with the unique vehicle stopping with the halt of two horses. Shiho motioned for them to step forward, with Ichika giving the driver a small bow of gratitude.

 

The two clamored into the carriage seats, with Ichika’s unease and alertness almost vanishing from how drowsy she was. Shiho noticed her troubles, silently letting Ichika rest her head on Shiho’s shoulder.

 

“Goodnight, Ichi-chan,” Shiho smiled, letting the fog to settle from Ichika’s mind as she finally drifted off into unconsciousness.

 

She could only wonder what future her fate corresponded to.

Notes:

Ichika's internal conflict is one of my favourite things to write about. And from what I've planned it's only gonna get even better.

Also once i've finished LBoaS I'm thinking of making a PolyJUMP magical girl AU madoka style, still planning it out though (It'll probably be based off of the Peachy Key set and the JUMPIN' OVER! set but with darker undertones, multi-pov too. If y'all wanna read it feel free to comment!! (However i don't have discord so any notes/messages will most likely have to be on Ao3 or other social media)

Chapter 47

Notes:

no joke, I'm on the leaderboard for top 100 on EN. If you see someone called 'Phos from HNK | T100' (which is an alias) that's me.

I'm so sorry for the short chapter, I've got to get back to tiering or I'll get boated again and I have school tomorrow

 

The ride in the carriage was restless, with Shiho’s tired eyes wilting beneath the pressures of her brain. She held her eyes open despite it, keeping watch while Ichika’s innocent head rested against her shoulder.

 

One blink, and Shiho could feel the panic arise in her chest. One blink, and she felt the pain and agony rest against her body. One blink, and she could feel the steps of her past linger on the path behind her.

 

In times like this, where she knew what was to be done, she couldn’t help but feel small. She wanted to do something, to reach for her sword, to hiss out profanities, to guide and conquer her horrific visions, but she couldn’t. All she could do was stare out into nothingness, keeping watch.

 

Shiho knew that the night was soon to conclude, that the dreary sun would illuminate the sky and make way for the stars to glow in their vibrant colourations, but she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to face the fact that she killed him.

 

That she, Shiho Hinomori, killed Rui.

 

She knew Saki knew. She knew that Honami would know, too. Maybe everyone did, and they just kept it to themselves. But if Shiho watched Ichika get blamed for her own actions one more time… She’d have to tell everyone.

 

Shiho would risk her life over and over again if it meant that Ichika got a fair, just life. If Ichika could live away from the worries of war and of the tangles created by Tenma. And if Shiho had to suffer over… and over… it would honour her.

 

Chirps of morning critters hummed and bellowed against the chilled blades of grass, pink blotching against the horizon. A salmon colour akin to the tips of Saki’s hair.

 

Tears welled in Shiho’s eyes. Tears born of loathing, hatred, and trapped emotions of wreckage. Saki was no better than Shiho. Shiho at least had a reason, she was being threatened. Saki didn’t. She didn’t have a reason to betray Ichika, to kill Tagaki Miu, to send Honami out to keep Shiho hostage, to pin the blame of murder onto Ichika.

 

Saki had no right to do any of those things. And if only Saki just told Shiho why, even if it was some bullshit excuse, she’d understand.

 

But just as Saki said to her while she was locked up in the dungeons, she didn’t know.

 

It wasn’t even an ‘It was to save another life’ or a ‘my parents would kill me if I didn’t’. It wasn’t anything at all.

 

And no matter how many apologies Saki uttered, none of them would reach Shiho.

 

Shiho felt the frustrated tears stop, her eyes softly blinking as she looked out. Bricks and flowers polluted her view, the sounds of the horses’ hooves clopping against the concrete easier to identify, rhythmically tapping with each step. Ichika’s quiet eyes slowly fluttered open, her mouth making a confused grunt as she awoke from her slumber.

 

“We’re here.” Shiho uttered, staring at the complexion of the castle, noticing just how horrid the wealth gap was once more.

 

 “We’re at Tenma.”

Chapter 48

Notes:

Bro i love Minori fans, i've only been boated once when tiering

White roses dotted against the fields of mountains, the rubble cascading against the bellows of wind. Ena stood out at the balcony of her room, her white gloves reaching out to the banister, her scowl written over her skin.

 

“Enanan, you’re all depressed,” Mizuki pouted, marching into the room. “You still stressed about Lil-bro’s letter?”

 

“Mizuki.” Ena huffed, twisting her gaze, her suit following with the sway of motion. “It’s not that.” She groaned; her fingers twisted into a ball.

 

“It’s the Alliance. They responded.”

 

The pink-haired knight looked over at Ena’s hands, which hid behind a small locket – an ancient telepathic messaging system used throughout all of Shinonome.

 

“They have a celestial mage,” Ena looked down at the small piece of jewellery. “And there’s an event being held there, at Tenma.”

 

Mizuki shuffled closer, her eyes lost as she gazed at the locket. “I didn’t know we still used those.”

 

“Amia,” Ena hissed, scowling. She knew that voice. “Are you calling me old fashioned?”

 

Mizuki smirked. “Maybe.”

 

“Anyways, even if there is a war, why not spend the day to ourselves?” Mizuki professed, making her way to the doorframe. “You’ve been stressed all week about that letter.”

 

“…” Ena couldn’t. She couldn’t bare the idea of living out her days when she’d have to face war. There had been wars before – the dark war of the Alliance, the Iron Era’s ending war, even the olden spring tragedy. But Ena wasn’t involved in any of these wars.

 

It had been many years since Ena took off her gloves. And to think it would soon approach that the silken white gloves would fall from her fingers, it frightened her.

 

Then why did she slowly wrap the fabric around her grasp, pulling the silk from her skin, revealing the markings that reminded her of Akito.

 

“Are those…” Mizuki stepped forward, looking at the blackened limbs. The gradient-made scars Ena had created.

 

“I know I told you what happened, Amia,” Ena uttered, looking at her shrivelled nails which she had gloved for so long. “But I…”

 

“Does it still hurt?” The pink haired knight asked, running her own finger against the charcoal-like formation of Ena’s hands.

 

“Just because it’s infected doesn’t mean it hurts, Mizuki.” Ena elaborated. “It only hurts when I’m channelling something.”

 

“I wish I had an affinity,” Mizuki pouted. “They look so cool,”

 

“A stupid fucking earth affinity isn’t all that fun.” Ena muttered. “To think that the alliance got a celestial mage before us! When those dim-wits at Tenma are gonna wage a damn war!”

 

Ena seethed with rage, thwacking her hands about, sending pieces of paint from the walls to slam onto the floor.

 

“…!” Mizuki jumped, seeing the leftover shards of paint shrivel to the ground, the exposed brick sticking out like a sore thumb.

 

“Fuck, this stupid affinity,” Ena hissed, sliding the silken white cloth onto her hands, hiding the scars and stopping any form of destruction she could emit.

 

“So that’s what it’s like to have an affinity,” Mizuki let out a strained chuckle.

 

Ena’s brow furrowed; “People can control their affinities.” Ena sneered, her hands shaking from her own act of destruction before.

 

Why, Ena questioned. Why am I born like a damned monster?

 

“Hey, Enanan,” Mizuki asked, her hair no longer tied up in a ponytail, her ruby-coloured eyes gazing out at Ena mischievously.

 

“How about, before this ‘war’ starts up,” Mizuki swayed her hand against Ena’s wrist, slowly dragging the brunette out of her room for what felt like ages.

 

“We figure out how to control this affinity, eh?”

Notes:

Lockets will become important later just a small warning

Chapter 49: Shiho's point of view

Notes:

And thus, begins the ending of ark 2!!

Oh yeah, in about two days, I'll be changing my username to something around Ph0S_ARi or someting around that, so if you see my name change, it's still me!!

 

It is reccomended this is NOT read in order of chapters, but of preference, as which POV you read first will spoil the two others.  

 

The scent of charred spices and nectar wafted through Shiho’s nose, her body set in high alert as she met up with her fleet. Sweat beaded down her forehead in the shrill sunlight, with her body waning to keep itself steady as she recounted the instructions and guided the soldiers to designated spots for defensive reasons, with Ichika, of course, sticking with Shiho.

 

Shiho’s hand graced her pocket-watch, her eyes glued to the clicking sound that erupted from the metal. Shiho hated how, despite how quickly she trudged, time only got quicker.

 

Time. Shiho needed time.

 

She needed to find her. To find Shizuku. To find anyone from the alliance that was trapped in the hellhole that was Tenma.

 

But she couldn’t. She still had to make her way to an entrance. To slide her way inside and protect the people she cared about.

 

Her people.

 

Her people.

 

Ichika adorned a regular robe that mages wore, leaving her undetectable to most knights. Shiho simply followed her way through the familiar outer rim, uncomfortably attempting to cool herself down in the shade as a result of her armour weighing her down. She shoved her pocket watch back into its case, her breaths laboured as she continued to think beyond what she thought was healthy.

 

“Where’s Shizuku,” Shiho hissed, her eyes diving into one of the windows, searching for her sister between the castle’s walls. She was desperate, uncomfortable and overwhelmed. She needed to do something that didn’t cause her brain to go amuck, but her thoughts did it just fine, reverting any progress.

 

“Shiho,” Ichika uttered, but not out of reassurance, nor was it a reply. It was a warning tone, one that prompted an explanation. An observation. A clue. “Today… is the coronation. These routes for the guards, these decorations…”

 

 

Shiho took one look inside. The perfectly arranged décor, the lack of guards, the banners being oddly placed… Ichika was right.

 

Shiho wanted to say she knew. Say that it was all planned. But in all honesty, she didn’t keep track of the coronation. All she cared about was Shizuku.

 

Again, a phantom noise of a clock ran through her brain, hissing and clicking like the beats of her heart.

 

“I don’t care if we get caught, show me to the ballroom.” Shiho yelped insistently, her eyes jittering. “F-fuck. Fuck!” Shiho hissed.

 

“Take my hand, Shiho.” Ichika uttered, her gaze fixated on ahead. On the ballroom.

 

A headache swarmed through Shiho’s mind, but not from the heat. Instead, it was something bubbling inside her veins. Yet another setback that she had no time to care about.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

She was running out of time.

 

Time.

 

Time.

 

Time.

 

Shiho tugged against Ichika’s wrist, running through one of the entrances, her body sore and swollen from something. But she couldn’t let herself break. She couldn’t break. She had to find them. To save them. To protect everyone.

 

But she could hear her steps. She could hear her heartbeat. She could hear the silence. The mumbles. The profanities that danced under her tongue. The pain that shifted grotesquely underneath her veins. The feeling of something so completely and utterly incorrect that her limbs grew loose with each sterling motion.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

Hallways. All there were was hallways and hallways and hallways. Carpets stained with yellow. Sun that hissed through glass. Steps that pounded against the floors. Guards that scowled and shifted. People. People. People.

 

“Here,” Ichika stumbled. “Here.” She professed with more stability, her robes now carefully tracing her back, her hands tapping against the doors.

 

Chatter and music erupted from the other side, with Shiho’s heart masking the distinct sounds of some sort of celebration. They weren’t too late. They had time. Shiho had time.

 

But the headache and the pain coursing through her blood… it didn’t stop.

 

“Ichika…” Shiho whispered, gripping her own wrist, noticing her veins shift. “Something’s wrong. Something…”

 

“No.” Ichika scowled, her voice booming compared to her shrill whispered. “We can’t turn back.”

 

“I have to get rid of her.” Ichika’s lips curled into a look of pure disgust. “She ruined my life. Your life. And now…” Ichika looked down at her hand.

 

“She’ll pay.”

 

Shiho didn’t have any time to respond, when the doors were creaked open, with both Ichika and Shiho slipping through the crowd.

 

Ichika disappeared into the sea of people, with Shiho trying to reach her. No, Shiho whispered silently. I… I can’t let anyone die. But Ichika, she’s capable. …I shouldn’t worry.

 

“Shiho-commander?!” Bolstered the ever-so-loud Emu, who grabbed hold of Shiho’s attention with a cry of shock.

 

“You’re alive! And… here! All of us thought you left,” Emu remarked, guiding Shiho through the crowd, and away from Ichika.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

 

Something’s wrong, Shiho realised. “Emu, I-” Shiho began, but the pain in her muscles, the ache in her bones… it was all too much.

 

Too much for her. Too much for anyone.

 

She needed to escape.

 

“Hm?” The pink-haired girl questioned, but Shiho didn’t give an answer. “I shouldn’t be here,” Shiho uttered, pulling her hands to her boiling forehead, feeling her blood congest and writhe inside her.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

“Ichika.” Shiho yelled out. She couldn’t see her anywhere. Not even in a distance.

 

“Ichika!” Shiho screamed, running through the crowd. It was too much. Too much for her. Too much for anyone.

 

Maybe that’s why Shiho froze when the king’s voice reached her ears, clearing his throat to enact the role of king to the prince.

 

“Hello, people of Tenma and guests,” The king began, but his voice wrung deaf on Shiho’s ears. She paced, her footsteps loose and lost, her eyes catching sight of what was going on.

 

That’s why, before it all happened, Shiho knew what was going on.

 

Just like last time, Shiho recalled. Glass, light, pain… She looked back at the pain boiling her insides.

 

Saki’s killing me, just like she did to Miu.

 

Shiho felt stupid. Of course this was the plan – Saki was somehow able to murder people just by being near them. And this time was no different.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

She’s killing me.

 

Was it the pain that hurt? Or the realisation of the end? Shiho didn’t know. She didn’t care.

 

I’m dying. Shiho acknowledged. She hated that it didn’t make her mad or upset.

 

I’m-

 

“No.” Shiho sensed it. She wasn’t dying. No, it wasn’t even Saki.

 

Shadows. Shadows created by some sort of affinity. A strong affinity, one that could block out anyone in its path.

 

A Shinonomian Mage.

 

“Shiho-commander, what’s wrong?” Uttered Emu, her eyes filled with complete and utter concern. Shiho choked out a profanity, looking out onto the horizon, along the unsuspecting crowds.

 

“Emu, run.” Shiho gritted her teeth, a cold sweat beading down her forehead. “Survive.”

 

Before the Otori heir could speak, Shiho dashed into the seas of people, her aim only to get one single person. Ichika.

 

Ichika was the only one who could survive any other affinity – the one who could survive anything. But Ichika wasn’t immortal.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

Time wouldn’t stop.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

Ichika wasn’t in sight.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

And for Shiho…

 

Tick… Tock.

 

She was too late.

 

The stairs behind the Tenma royalty oozed with a darkened substance, trickling down, shutting off any form of light to methodically blind everyone.

 

No, this was no regular mage. No normal mage could create such a disaster. This was a mage swallowed by their affinity, rejecting any kind of humanity that they could grasp onto.

 

Gasps and screams flurried through the air, people shuffling away from the ballroom with no avail. Shiho could see the pure horror in the King’s face, the scowl of the crown prince, and the fake shock of Saki attempting to salvage something.

 

Was this… the mages of Shinonomes’ doing? Had they learnt how to ascend?

 

Shiho could feel her limbs writhe as she continued to run, to try and spot Ichika, to identify the one she loved around her. But with everyone attempting to leave, Shiho had no clue where to go.

 

“Shiho-commander, why are you leaving?” Emu’s stuttering tone spluttered, with the pink haired heir running to Shiho with panic writing her expression. “Y-you won’t survive. A-an awakened mage… they could kill all of us!”

 

“I-I can’t leave her.” Shiho whispered. “I should’ve protected you all, got you to safety, done some… thing.”

 

Shiho’s eyes grew wide as she witnessed someone so familiar step towards the molten shadows. Someone she had been looking for, defying life itself.

 

Ichika Hoshino.

 

“ICHIKA!!” Shiho ran to Ichika, her breaths heavy as she screeched out her beloved’s name. “No, please…!” Shiho begged, her body unable to continue pulling her through.

 

“…Shiho?” Ichika looked over, her expression just as surprised. “W-was this a part of the plan?”

 

“Get back,” Shiho stammered, attempting to pace backwards as the ooze continued to spread. “No…!”

 

Shiho took one look over at where the royals of Tenma stood, with the king and queen separated to the left, and the crown prince separated to the right.

 

And Saki… facing the Shinonomian mage, ready, unfazed.

 

“…!” Shiho shrieked, her whole body shaking in tremors from panic and pain, her hands attempting to grip the hilt of her blade.

 

“Shiho,” Ichika stared out, unable to understand why Shiho would be reacting this way. “Why are you-”

 

“’Shiho’?” uttered an omnipotent voice, one that echoed all around the ballroom. Was it really… a Shinonomian mage?

 

Or was it-

 

Shiho uttered a profanity, pacing backwards irregularly, looking around to find the person communicating to her.

 

She knew the works of an awakened mage. After all, she used to know one.

 

And all she could do was look up.

 

Just as predicted, the entire ceiling collapsed in a fit of magenta fire. Rubble descended from the skies, the morning glow now haunted by shadows manifested by the uniquely inhumane beast wielding nothing more than destruction.

 

Shiho couldn’t think. Couldn’t feel. None of it felt real. Her senses grew tired of the constant blur of everything around her, the pain in her body only stimulating her overwhelm. She couldn’t catch her breath no matter how many times she breathed in, her heart rate ringing in her ears like loud, clattering drums that panged against her hearing, blocking everything out.

 

She reached for Ichika, the blurs of azure blue catching her eyes, yet falling in and out of view. She tried opening her mouth from her own disorientation, to capture a sheer fragment of what was left, but her pain overcame her, sending her to her knees.

 

She could feel her heart leap in her chest, the rubble sending shockwaves rippling as the ceiling continued to cascade. She reached her dust-covered fingers out, trying to reach for Ichika, but there was nothing left for her.

 

Shiho closed her eyes, letting her body slump to the cool look of the ground, her mind losing track of everything. She wanted it all to end. For everything to end.

 

And yet, she still could feel. Could think. She still had to go on, for Shizuku, for Ichika, for herself.

 

She promised herself that she wouldn’t give in, that she wouldn’t die for nothing. She had to get up.

 

But she didn’t have to get up alone.

 

“Shiho, take my hand,” Ichika uttered, her words slowed and blurred, but her tone was undeniably identifiable. Shiho looked up at the one she loved, at the rubble, at the pain… and took the hand graced towards her.

 

Shiho was pulled off of the ground, held tight by Ichika, almost like she was using Ichika as a crutch. Shiho looked around once more, trying to focus, but all she cared about was Ichika. The one she loved, protecting her. The one she loved, holding her close like it was Shiho’s final night in Imperia.

 

Shiho looked above, feeling a shadow overcome her, noticing a giant piece of the ceiling coming for her and Ichika. A massive boulder, ready to crush the both of them in seconds.

 

This is it, Shiho realised. I’m gonna die here.

 

Shiho closed her eyes once more, hoping that for once, she could continue living. That her death wouldn’t be meaningless. That, no matter what happened, or how horrible the outcome, she’d still be able to stand with Ichika.

 

“Curimo etie foqu!”

 

Light bound itself to Ichika’s lost arm, trailing from nothingness to starlight, brought fourth like the skin of gods. Shiho had seen it many times before, but this time, she couldn’t help but look in awe. Glitters of the cosmos trailed from Ichika’s hand, with her index finger tapping the boulder and morphing the giant piece of the ceiling into a small speck of light, fading into nothingness.

 

“We’ll get out of here.” Ichika stated, as if it were a promise. “And I will get rid of Saki.”

 

Shiho had no intention of denying Ichika. Saki had done nothing but ruin the lives of thousands of people, sending people to be hunted down, murdered, manipulated and even destroyed.

 

But Saki wasn’t the person who created such destruction.

“I’m sorry, my love,” Ichika whispered, her eyes fixated on Saki. “I need to do this.”

 

“I know,” Shiho uttered. “I know.” She repeated, firm with her response. Ichika gave Shiho a worried glance, but Shiho knew well that there was no real reason to deny Ichika this opportunity. If it was anyone that could kill Saki, it would be Ichika.

 

Ichika ran to Saki, her star-woven hand arched towards both the awakened mage and the princess of this hellscape. Shiho still remained where she stood, pacing backwards, looking around at her surroundings. She could see that there were a fair few people that managed to escape, with Tsukasa and the king leading through the exits, alongside others. Still, there was no Shizuku in sight.

 

Shiho spotted Emu, her first inclination to ask the Otori where her sister was, but a strange sensation gripped Shiho away, burning with fire, hovering over Shiho grotesquely.

 

Shiho could feel it. The blonde hair, the calloused, hollowed out eyes. She could feel the fits of giggles stop and hesitate as a hum of confusion echoed from behind her.

 

Keep steady, Shiho steeled herself. You know who it is. All you need to do… is kill them.

 

“Little sister Shiho,” The mage grinned unnaturally, her figure so dysfunctional that Shiho felt sick just looking at it. “So it is you.”

 

Shiho took a slow turn around, her eyes gazing at the person.

 

These people weren’t Shinonomian mages.

 

This was no regular person. The person she knew was no more, yet still standing before her.

 

Someone she thought she could forget.

 

Kohane Azusawa.

 

A grotesque figure, with everything below her shoulders melting into a blackened state, wrapped with bones and magenta embellishments that spiked out of her disturbing body. She was undeniably tall, her hair ridiculously long as it spilled down to her legs, curling inwards to her body, almost like ribbon infesting her.

 

As for her face, it was cracked with blackened markings akin to shattered glass, burning, pulsating, drooling down her eyes. Her smile was warped, tugging on her skin, stretching out unnaturally and mutating her voice. Her eyes held no pupils, gone were the days of the icy grey that once was, now bled with black and magenta.

 

Protruding out of her head were two, massive horns that oozed with soot-like bones, as per her now awakened state. Shiho knew this person wasn’t the one she remembered. This person had given up her humanity for the sake of power and greed, now ascending into nothing more than an eldritch monster.

 

“K-Kohane,” Shiho hissed out, her eyes fixated with malice as the person before her smiled with infatuated glee.

 

Shiho didn’t want to look at her. She disgusted Shiho, from her demoness-like form to her utterly invasive mannerisms that were drunk in insanity.

 

“This is because of him, isn’t it?” Shiho questioned, unsheathing her sword as she held back a grimace. She waved the metal at the beast before her, watching Kohane back away from such a threat.

 

“-We’re not here for that, actually.” She giggled, looking over at her claw-like fingertips, then looking back up at Shiho.

 

“We?” Shiho feigned, despite knowing that another mage had began with this mess. She just needed to know just how many monsters she was dealing with.

 

“An-chan is currently dealing with the princess,” Kohane hummed, stepping towards Shiho like a wild animal, ready to pounce upon her prey. “As for our newest recruit, she’s simply lurking around, acting as our defence.”

 

Shiho’s eyes widened at the mere mention of a new recruit. Shiho knew that these people took in people without their consent, almost abducting them from their homes like they did to Shiho.

 

“Are you mad they took your spot, little sis?” Kohane quipped, circling around Shiho as if it were a dance. “I mean, you did leave us…”

 

Shiho stabbed Kohane in the thigh, exclaiming, “Quit with the small talk and get to the point, dark mage.”

 

Kohane didn’t seem to like Shiho’s response.

 

“You will always be one of us. Don’t act like you’re somehow better.” Kohane retorted, slapping Shiho across the face and shoving her to the ground with the rattling of her bones. “You… will always be a dark mage.”

 

Shiho flinched, the sensation of pain finally making sense to her. Kohane sensed her from the beginning, warping her blood to become weak, before now, killing her.

 

But Shiho couldn’t accept Kohane’s request.

 

“Rot in hell!” Shiho scrambled to her feet, slashing Kohane with her sword, swaying in battle as if it were a dance. “I will never be like you freaks!”

 

Kohane stumbled back, holding her breath in shock. “You really are arrogant,” She spat. “I thought you’d at least care about an old friend.”

 

Shiho glared at the beast, raising her blade up once more.

 

“That person is dead.”

 

Before Kohane could attack, let alone respond, the entire ballroom was hit with an indescribable flashbang of light, disorienting everyone in view. Shiho dropped her blade, falling to the ground, while Kohane twisted back around and looked towards the area wherein the flashbang was held.

 

“What…” Shiho scrambled for her sword, attempting to look up, but everything was a complete blur. She tried to see what was going on, but she couldn’t.

 

“No,” Shiho heard Kohane splutter. “NO!” Kohane screeched, dashing over to what had happened in the distance.

 

Shiho blinked, pulling herself up from the ground.

 

And there, she saw it.

 

Saki had awakened, bearing horns that sprouted from her head, her hands glowing unnaturally, her body covered in distinct scales like that of a dragon.

 

She was the first light mage to ascend. A biologically impossible feat, one that could only be achieved by offensive mages.

 

Saki had rejected her humanity. No… She was no longer Saki anymore.

 

Tears fell down Shiho’s cheeks as everything fell into place. Tears of shock, bewilderment, and confusion. She didn’t understand – was this the real Saki all along?

 

“Saki,” Shiho whispered, looking back at her own hands. All of this that was happening… was real. “She’s… gone.”

 

Kohane had vanished, the shadows gone from view, with An and the presumably new recruit also vanishing from witnessing the assencion of the princess. Ichika ran to Shiho, her own body shaking and tremoring.

 

“Shi… ho?” Ichika looked at the person she loved. “You… used to be a dark mage?”

 

For a second Shiho just stared at Ichika. Fear overcame her, sending her in a stasis as her body trembled. Ichika knew. Ichika knew how horrible she really was.

 

But Ichika didn’t grimace, or look with disgust.

 

She smiled.

 

Shiho didn’t answer. But the despair that once painted her disappeared, leaving a trail of warmth inside Shiho.

 

Shiho didn’t need to respond, her body slowly walking to Ichika.

 

“You… really accept me?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Shiho ran to Ichika, wrapping her hands around he lover, embracing her with tears. “I’m so sorry… I-I didn’t tell you,” She whispered, letting her emotions fall and rise, like the weight of the wind.

 

“Shiho…” Ichika responded, letting in the embrace. “I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

 

Before Shiho could respond, a loud screech pierced both of their ears, with Ichika arching her star-woven hand out at the loud sound and Shiho unsheathing her sword out of instinct alone.

 

“T-Tsukasa?” Ichika exclaimed, her eyes wide as she saw the prince slowly approach his sister. Shadows tainted his cape, his crown ruffled and unorganised, his sword still strapped in his sheath.

 

“We need to go.” Shiho muttered, pacing backwards. “We’re done here.”

 

“…” Ichika hesitated, her eyes flickering at the beast in front of her. And slowly but surely, she lowered her hand.

 

“…Shii-chan?”

 

Shiho whipped her eyes around, noticing the voice. The silvery tone, the gentle demeanour, the familial light that blinded them.

 

“Sis,” Shiho uttered, reaching her hand out to try and get closer. “You’re… alive,” She choked a melancholic grin following her emotions.

 

“Shii-chan!” Shizuku smiled, taking Shiho’s hand. “You’re alive too,”

 

It had been so long. Far too long since they last saw each other. Shiho didn’t know what to do – she never thought that the mere idea of losing Shizuku would cause her to crumble into a mess of sobs, let alone a bittersweet smile.

 

“Shizuku,” Ichika gasped, looking at the snow-coloured girl. “Sh-Shiho is safe. …We all are.”

 

Something about the idea of being safe ticked Shiho the wrong way, especially when the distinct sound of screeching emanated from behind. Shizuku seemed to notice it, too, her gleeful expression slowly warping to a distinct concern.

 

“We have to leave.” Shiho announced. “Ichika, you’re on defence. Shizuku, you guide us to an exit.” She commanded. “I’ll help the others.”

 

Ichika gave Shiho a firm nod, while Shizuku guided the azure-haired mage over to an exit. Shiho looked around, her gaze landing at the spectacle of Saki. She was being… detained. And Tsukasa…

 

Tsukasa was bleeding out.

 

Shiho turned away, trying not to think of what happened. She didn’t need to mop up the mess that was Tenma. After all, the kingdom was doomed to fail.

 

Shiho found the Yoisaki heir, Kanade, out in the distance. She ran over to the silver-haired girl, noticing that she seemed completely and utterly dissociated from reality.

 

“Yoisaki?” Shiho uttered, watching the ice-like eyes of Kanade twitch to despair, her hands sunken, her uniform covered in concrete dust. 

 

“Hinomori…” She gave a weary smile. “Tell my father… I love him.”

 

Before Shiho could even say anything, the heir disappeared amongst the crowd.

 

Traitor, Shiho realised. Allying with Tenma? Foolish.

 

Shiho didn’t understand why Yoisaki chose to leave them. To leave the alliance, especially when she was a high-ranking heir. To leave to a kingdom with no king nor queen, left crumbled in pieces.

 

Shiho couldn’t dwell on it – not now. Shiho picked up her pace, swarming through the crowd, diving through the groups in order to find anyone else from the alliance.

 

“Emu,” Shiho huffed, noticing the pink haired girl worriedly glancing around. “Emu, are you alright?”

 

“I-I-I don’t know,” Emu stammered, tears falling down her cheeks. “I-I don’t like this… I-I didn’t want this…!”

 

“Shh, it’s okay…” Shiho comforted. Seeing someone so energetic crumble before her was daunting, to say the least. “Kusunagi is waiting for you.”

 

“Nene-chan,” Emu’s eyes widened, a tear rolling down her eyebags. Her arms shook uncomfortably, her legs barely able to keep herself up. “She doesn’t know. She…”

 

“Emu,” Shiho uttered, her tone firm. “There’s… nothing we can do but leave and survive.”

 

“You make it sound easy, commander,” Emu responded, closing her eyes shut. “I don’t want to leave them,” she uttered, her voice weak. “But I…”

 

“They’d want you to survive.” Shiho placed her hand on Emu’s shoulder, giving her a knowing smile. “…I know it sounds strange, but I was once in a position like this too.”

 

“…You’ve watched your friends die?” Emu whispered, overwhelmed at the prospect of it. “How did you do it? How did you… live on?”

 

“For her. I lived to honour her death.” Shiho explained, looking out into the distance. “I lived knowing she wouldn’t want me to be sad over her. Because, no matter what happens, she’s watching over me.”

 

Emu took a look out into the distance, her worried face softened from Shiho’s words. There was something hopeful lingering in her vision, a small reflection of hope.

 

“I’ll live for both of them. Rui-Kun, Tsukasa-Kun, I’ll live for you. …Just like Grandpa.”

 

Shiho looked out onto the view, the veiling of crimson, the way Saki screeched and thrashed about despite being dragged up the stairs, her body luminously pulsing with scornful, rioting conflict, as if it were her blood.

 

Shiho knew well that she’d never need to worry about Saki again. And that this moment… she’d say goodbye to the one who tormented her so.

 

“Farewell, princess of apathy.”

 

Shiho slid through the crowd, turning around and exiting the castle just like everyone else. It was almost nostalgic, walking out of an area after the brutality of pain had washed over someone other than her. Like how she fled all those years ago after the assassination, unafraid of what was to come, allowing time to flow.

 

It was freeing. Like unfastening chains that cuffed against her. Like dancing in the rain, witnessing the beauty of passing. Moments where she could finally appreciate herself, where she could realise that she could show others she cared. From attempting to assassinate Saki for murdering Miu back then, to now protecting Shizuku and Ichika and bringing them home.

 

Time was such a broad concept. You have it, you gain it, you lose it, but it’s still infinite. You give it, you take it, you forget it. But it always passes you, no matter how fast you run.

 

And now, Shiho had all the time in the world to enjoy what she still had, without the loss of something else.

Notes:

You thought you could get spoilers in the ending notes, didn't you?

Don't worry, you can get to your personal fav chapter safely without spoilers.

Chapter 50: Ichika's point of view

Notes:

why does she have a chapter twice as long as the others

Ichika’s eyes haunted with the familiar sight, and despite how much she tried to run from it, she couldn’t help the pain of remembering where she was.

 

Tenma, the kingdom that ruined her.

 

The kingdom she swore to destroy.

 

Her old home.

 

Ichika hated admitting that she once lived in this place – a pool of deceit and beckoning, hopelessness and travesty all mixed into the cobbled paths. Every colour was monotone, blurred, distinct in the lack of saturation. In all honesty, compared to the purity and order of the alliance, Tenma looked… dull.

 

It didn’t matter for the flowers, or the stained glass, or the fringed gardens. Everything looked like nothing ever really existed with a sheer purpose other than hollow, mindless decoration.

 

Ichika looked up from the monotonous colouration of Tenma and over to Shiho, who was holding a bronze-coloured stopwatch, the sound of ticking ringing through Shiho like lifeblood.

 

Ichika took another look over at Shiho, noticing her swollen eyes and roughened hair, almost as if she hadn’t brushed it in days. Her hands were lined with callouses and blisters, her body slightly shaking from what Ichika could only assume was sleep deprivation and stress.

 

“Where’s Shizuku,” Shiho hissed, her eyes diving into one of the windows, searching for her sister between the castle’s walls. Ichika noticed how urgent her actions were, the franticness of it all, the way her voice stuttered in between every breath she took. In all honesty, it was concerning.

 

But as soon as Ichika looked into the window, into the castle, did her blood spike up into insanity.

 

The coronation.

 

Ichika took in a heaving breath, taking a single step back. No. No! We can’t be this late. I-I can’t be here.

 

“Shiho,” Ichika blurted out, her voice defiant, despite it shaking. I need to keep calm. I need to stay relaxed. “Today… is the coronation. These routes for the guards, these decorations…”

 

Shiho’s expression wavered to something more stubborn, her eyes morphing into a scowl, scattering about. But slowly, her eyes widened once more, until finally she stepped backwards out of frustration and panic.

 

“I-I don’t care if we get caught, show me to the ballroom.” Shiho exclaimed, her body jittering with panic. “F-fuck. Fuck!” She spat.

 

“Take my hand, Shiho.” Ichika uttered, her gaze fixated on ahead. On the ballroom.

 

Ichika knew the interior well. She knew every route, every area, and every crevice of this damned labrynth of a castle. And knowing how already disoriented and stressed Shiho was, she knew exactly what to do.

 

Ichika grasped Shiho’s hand, pulling it close to her, while her robes flowed in the wind. She raced her way into the castle, almost as quick as the wind itself, the gentle breeze hitting her face. She hated this place, yes, but that didn’t mean that its open walls weren’t at least a little comforting, if being fairly eerie.

 

Ichika turned around one of the corners, but not before Shiho tugged against Ichika’s wrist. Hard. Ichika slowed down, coming to a halt, looking over at her girlfriend in concern. Was Shiho okay?

 

“Are you okay, Shiho-chan?”

 

No response.

 

“Do you want to keep going?”

 

A silent, unchanging nod.

 

Ichika took Shiho’s response and continued to walk through, but instead chose to pace herself and slow down for Shiho. She could only wonder how jarring it was to be in pure snow to have heat poured upon you, especially in Shiho’s still fragile state.

 

Ichika slowly approached the final corner, noticing that there weren’t any guards locking the doors. In fact, most people didn’t even realise there was an entrance here, as it was exclusively revealed for guests.

 

“Here,” Ichika stumbled. “Here.” She professed with more stability, her robes now carefully tracing her back, her hands tapping against the doorhandle.

 

Ichika noticed the sound of chatter and music, the light peeking out of the edges. It all felt so distant for such an important moment to be so… discomforting.

 

Ichika looked at Shiho, then back at the door. There was no reason to wait.

 

“Ichika…” Shiho whispered, gripping her own wrist, her voice lost and sunken, filled with concern. “Something’s wrong. Something…”

 

“No.” Ichika scowled, her voice booming compared to her shrill whispers. “We can’t turn back.”

 

“I have to get rid of her.” Ichika’s lips curled into a look of pure disgust. I will watch her blood pool from my hands as her corpse feigns to my feet, grovelling, succumbing to her ultimate demise.

 

“She ruined my life. Your life. And now…” Ichika looked down at her hand.

 

“She’ll pay.”

 

Ichika slammed the doors open, her body and mind awake, ready to face Saki. She stormed into the ballroom without any rhyme or reason to even so much as care about the distant stares she got. She slipped through the crowd, her eyes peeled for one thing and one thing alone.

 

Saki Tenma.

 

Ichika slid into the shadows, hiding against one of the corners, remembering the layout of the ballroom. She snuck down into one of the paths behind the stairs, letting herself fall into what she could only presume was an area used for storage.

 

Perfect.

 

Ichika shut the small, wooden door carefully, sitting down in the expansive storage room, looking around using the small inches of light that peeked through the door.

 

“Miku,” Ichika whispered. “I need you.”

 

In a small fraction of fragmented sparks, the teal goddess glided into the room, her eyes looking over distinctly at Ichika with curiosity.

 

“Hm?” Miku hummed, tilting her head to the side. “Are you hiding from people?”

 

“Teach me how to wield my affinity,” Ichika huffed out, her words determined, yet still a twinge afraid. “I… I need to.”

 

Miku almost immediately noticed the urgency of the situation, her curiosity turning into a proud nod. “Of course, Ichika.”

 

Ichika sighed out with relief, carefully watching the goddess, taking the moment to stand up and get a better look at how she’d be able to activate her affinity.

 

“Now, what you’re gonna do first is close your eyes.” Miku guided, her voice melodic and methodical. “I want you to imagine yourself, and reach out to this reflection of you.”

 

Ichika did as Miku said, closing her eyes, and imagining a reflection – a copy of herself, a version of her before Saki betrayed her. A young, naïve soul poisoned by the lies of sanctuary and utopias that were further out of her grasp than she could ever imagine.

 

Ichika reached out her hand towards this version of herself, placing her hand on the younger version’s shoulder. She saw the younger version of her tilt their head up, looking at Ichika now, her face written in confusion.

 

“Now, what you want to do, is embrace this reflection.”

 

Ichika took a look at the gentle eyes, the careful, dainty reflection of how fragile she once was. But she didn’t hate herself for it. She could feel how confused and overwhelmed she once was back then. She could feel the pain that ruminated through her heart, like a dove whose wings were clipped in order to ‘survive’.

 

And so, Ichika let the younger her embrace the new her. She let the younger version of her accept her for how she is now. And she accepted who she once was.

 

“Open your eyes.”

 

Ichika followed in Miku’s request, slowly fluttering her eyes open, as if she was dreaming. She looked over at where Miku was, but she was no longer there. Instead, the light occupying her eyes was the bright glimmer of her own hand.

 

Ichika looked around, noticing that her senses felt almost hyperaware. There was a distinct noise sludging down the staircase, almost bleeding through.

 

Wait… bleeding?

 

Ichika immediately dived out of the staircase, reaching her hand out, looking around at what was going on.

 

Screams filled the air like sirens, gasps accompanying the melody of horrific travesty as shadows consumed the ballroom like icing upon a cake.

 

But there she was – Saki, trapped, alone.

 

Ichika stood in front of the shadow-like substance, defying it. Defying life itself. She arched her hand at Saki, which glittered and bellowed with stars. Stars that would sever Saki’s fate into nothing more than dismembered organs and crimson blood.

 

“Ichika!!” Shouted a voice, disorienting and distracting Ichika to the point where she stumbled backwards trying to identify the person.

 

 

 

“…Shiho?” Ichika gasped, her eyes wide, her mouth agape. “W-was this a part of the plan?” She looked back out onto the shadow-like liquid.

 

“Get back,” Shiho stammered, attempting to pace backwards as the ooze continued to spread. “No…!”

 

This wasn’t our doing? Ichika wondered. Then who… who are they?

 

“…!” Shiho shrieked, her whole body shaking in tremors from panic and pain, her hands attempting to grip the hilt of her blade.

 

“Shiho,” Ichika stared out, unable to understand why Shiho would be reacting this way. “Why are you-”

 

“’Shiho’?” uttered an omnipotent voice, one that echoed all around the ballroom.

 

“Fuck,” Shiho uttered a profanity, pacing backwards irregularly, looking around to find the person communicating to her.

 

Ichika couldn’t understand why Shiho was reacting like this. She looked around, questioning everything in sight.

 

But even she couldn’t predict what was to be conspired.

 

The entire ceiling collapsed in a fit of magenta fire.

 

Rubble descended from the skies; the morning glow now haunted by shadows manifested by the uniquely inhumane beast wielding nothing more than destruction. Ichika paced back, confused as all hell. She had no part in this. Had her affinity alerted these beast-like people? Had she caused this?

 

Ichika looked up, then back at Shiho. She was completely and utterly traumatised, her eyes swollen once more, her body dejected and monotone, like she had lost the light in her eyes.

 

But despite it all, Shiho still reached out to Ichika, trying to get closer.

 

But Ichika couldn’t catch her when she fell.

 

Shiho slammed onto the ground, letting out a high-pitched hiss of pain, her body tumbling from utter agony. Ichika didn’t know what to say, what to utter.

 

So, she followed her instincts and reached out her hand.

 

“Shiho, take my hand,” Ichika uttered, her words careful, while her tone was undeniably identifiable.

 

Shiho looked up like a wounded animal, simply gazing at the azure-haired girl. Ichika reached out her hand gently, offering for Shiho to take it.

 

And Shiho did.

 

Shiho was pulled off of the ground, held tight by Ichika, almost like she was using Ichika as a crutch. Ichika held onto Shiho, the one she loved. She held onto her silken hair, her gentle eyes, her tired physique, and let her carry Shiho.

 

She’d do anything for Shiho.

 

Ichika continued to look above, feeling a shadow overcome her, noticing a giant piece of the ceiling coming for her and Shiho. A massive boulder, ready to crush the both of them in seconds.

 

I’M NOT LETTING HER DIE.

 

She… she CANT!

 

I…

 

“Curimo etie foqu!”

 

Light bound itself to Ichika’s lost arm, trailing from nothingness to starlight, brought fourth like the skin of gods. Glitters of the cosmos trailed from Ichika’s hand, with her index finger tapping the boulder and morphing the giant piece of the ceiling into a small speck of light, fading into nothingness.

 

“We’ll get out of here.” Ichika stated, as if it were a promise. “And I will get rid of Saki.”

 

Shiho had no intention of denying Ichika. Saki had done nothing but ruin the lives of thousands of people, sending people to be hunted down, murdered, manipulated and even destroyed. And Ichika knew that Shiho would accept her request.

 

“I’m sorry, my love,” Ichika whispered, her eyes fixated on Saki. “I need to do this.”

 

“I know,” Shiho uttered. “I know.” She repeated, firm with her response. Ichika gave Shiho a worried glance, but Shiho knew well that there was no real reason to deny Ichika this opportunity.

 

And with that confirmation, she ran as fast as she could.

 

Ichika slammed her feet onto the ground, her eyes wide as the distinct figure of Saki cowered against the estranged new person that graced her.

 

“Please, I-I don’t have anything like that,” Saki begged, her eyes glued to the person. Ichika stood behind, observing while no one could see her, having found yet another corner to cling to.

 

“You know, I’m not in a good mood, Princess.” The person uttered, her sunset-akin eyes hollowed out. “So, hand her over.”

 

“I…” Saki stuttered, her voice lost amongst the horror, her hands jittering. “I don’t have the knight.”

 

“Liar, liar…” The person hissed, her tongue flicking amongst the roof of her mouth. “To think you’d only call her a knight, even after we sent her over to befriend you…”

 

The eldritch-like person’s smile deflated, her entire physique changing to boiling hatred, encased in crimson and chain. “Shiho Hinomori, my little plaything… why won’t she come home, hm?”

 

“Ah right, I know why. Because you think it’s to protect her.”

 

“Shiho?” Ichika snapped, walking in front of the person. She didn’t even know if they were human or not. They had a mask covering their mouth, trailing down and transmuting into chains and thorns, covered by a thin veil of fabric that connected to the small pair of wings attached to her torso.

 

“Ichika…!” Saki shrieked, looking, staring, horrified at the mere fact that Ichika stood before her.

 

“Saki, why did you do this?” Ichika uttered, biting her tongue to restrain herself from berating her old friend. “Why…”

 

“I didn’t want to lose you!” Saki shouted, her voice booming. “I… I…!”

 

“I don’t care,” Ichika spat back. “You… you left me. Put a bounty on my head. And now, you’re taking the one person I love?” Ichika scoffed, furiously staring at Saki, trying to articulate any form of regret in her mindless eyes.

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Saki shook her head, taking a step back. “I didn’t want to do this!”

 

“Then why!?” Ichika shouted, her eyes wide with fury, tears forming against her frantic eyes, pooling from beneath her cheeks. “Why did you do it!?”

 

Before Saki could even so much as beg, Ichika turned her attention to the estranged being before her, trying to steal Shiho away.

 

That little rat, thinking that they could take away Shiho again!

 

“And you,” Ichika seethed, saliva drooling from her mouth as she spat out her hatred. “Why!? Why do you want Shiho?!”

 

Instead of recoiling in fear like Saki, the sunset-eyed person simply giggled maniacally, like that of a lunatic.

 

“…Do you even know who I am? Who Shiho is?” She erupted with lunacy, her eyes unnaturally wide as she stared out. “Hah… haha…!”

 

When Ichika didn’t respond, the person before her did in her stead.

 

“I’m Shiraishi An, protégé of Nagi, the one who will surpass the great battles of war.” She prided. “And your little girlfriend… used to work as one of us.”

 

“A dark mage.”

 

Ichika stared at An. She shook her head slightly, her heart beating rapidly. “No,” She quivered, her legs loose, her mind lost in denial.

 

“Ah, see?” An laughed, sporting a smile that only a demon could recreate. “But of course you’d deny it, whoever-your-name-is!”

 

Ichika only stood, horrified.

 

“Seriously, you can say something,” An added. “I adore feedback. Did you like the performance? Was it… cool? Did it meet your standards of what us dark mages are like?”

 

“Be quiet,” Ichika muttered beneath her breath, agitated and confused. “You just wanted to use Shiho because of… Miu…”

 

Ichika’s eyes widened, her pulse dropping, her blood sinking from her veins from the simple realisation.

 

Miu was a dark mage.

 

Miu worked with Shiho.

 

And Shiho had multiple affinities.

 

Shiho…

 

Sh-she…

 

…

 

“I…” Ichika stood, her arm guiding her, reaching out towards An instinctively. “I don’t care if she was a dark mage.”

 

An stared at Ichika for a second, dumbfounded. “H-huh.” She scoffed, tilting her head to the side. “That’s not how I thought you’d act.”

 

“You’re gonna take Shiho away, aren’t you?” Ichika hissed. “You’re gonna k- kill her… aren’t you?!”

 

“If I remember correctly, that was the deal. Right, princess?” An questioned, looking back at Saki.

 

“No.” Ichika spat out. “You… YOU…”

 

Ichika couldn’t stand it. Seeing Saki. Seeing her heartless sack of flesh continue to exist.

 

Ichika raised her hand out, stepping forward. She couldn’t accept this. That Saki’s life would stand on par with existence. That she simply existed despite the travesty she had created towards everyone.

 

“I’m so… so…!” Saki seethed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “All I ever wanted was to be friends, Ichika! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

 

“Liar!” Ichika exclaimed. “You wouldn’t’ve tried to kill me if you didn’t want to hurt me!”

 

“Look at yourself, Saki! You’re nothing more than a-a hypocrite!” Ichika stepped forward again, and again, with Saki stepping further and further way.

 

“I know!” Saki screamed between sobs, clutching her chest from the pain that bubbled in her throat. “I know I am! I know that I deserve this!”

 

“…Then why?!” Ichika whispered, lowering her hand for just a moment. “Why do you continue to sell us out? Murder people?! Why do you-”

 

“-I CAN’T TELL YOU!” Saki screeched, her words echoing across the entire ballroom, her voice no longer a beg, or a plead. It was loud. So, so loud.

 

So that’s what it is.

 

Ichika withered in the silence, looking back at her star-woven hand, at her glittering fingertips. A bitter feeling rose to her chest. One that she hid away for so long, that haunted her every step.

 

“…” She paused, letting her gaze linger. “You never trusted me, didn’t you.” Ichika whispered, her body looming over Saki’s. “You never thought that I’d ever understand what you’re going through. …Even now, you still won’t tell me.”

 

Saki stared in horror, her mouth agape. No words fell out. No sobs, no scoffs, no screams to be whistled in the heat of battle.

 

“It’s okay, Saki.” Ichika whispered, reaching out her hand.

 

“…Is it really okay?” Saki questioned, meek and confused, yet still approaching Ichika, closing the gap between them. “Will you… still be my friend?”

 

Ichika didn’t respond, only staring back at her hand.

 

She knew what she was doing. But it didn’t make it any less painful.

 

Ichika stabbed her hand into Saki’s chest, using her own limbs as a dagger, slicing through Saki’s last remaining breaths in a pool of crimson.

 

“Maybe in another universe.”

 

Ichika looked back at what she did, stepping backwards. She had never once attacked someone, let alone murder them. But seeing Saki’s life no longer torment her… it was euphoric.

 

Again.

 

Ichika dove her hand into Saki’s dislodged corpse, watching the constellations and stars shift into that of a blade no longer than a knife, stab over, and over, and over.

 

Again.

 

Ichika wailed out a bloody, horrifying scream of fury as she continued to stab. Her mind was blurred, her whole body acting on its own.

 

Again.

 

Ichika couldn’t stop herself, painting her robes in crimson, watching Saki’s blood ripple and pool at her fingertips, staining what was left of her humanity.

 

…Again.

 

…Again…

 

…

 

Ichika stared at herself, pulling her hand away. Her entire body was covered in blood. She had carved out a massive wound against Saki’s body, one that bled through her flesh and splattered against her clothing.

 

She was dead.

 

Saki… was dead.

 

Ichika didn’t understand. It was supposed to be freeing.

 

It was supposed to help everyone, redoing the mistakes of those horrible enough to commit these crimes.

 

Then why was she crying? Why did tears roll down her cheeks as Saki’s lifeless body smile up at her, whispering a gentle, groggy apology to fall upon Ichika’s ears.

 

Ah… that’s why.

 

Because Ichika never wanted to kill Saki.

 

All Ichika ever wanted was to mean something to someone.

 

All she ever wanted was to forgive and move on.

 

But now…

 

Saki was dead.

 

Funny how things turn out this way, huh?

 

Funny how, even now, Ichika couldn’t escape guilt.

 

Ironic. That was the word.

 

Her entire life was ironic.

 

 A knight who could never fight.

 

A mage who didn’t know how to cast a rune.

 

A friend who murdered their old friends.

 

A girl who loved everyone but herself.

 

…

 

Ironic.

 

“Well done,” Clapped An, who grinned smugly from the side, observing Saki’s corpse. “And that manipulation? How you pretended to be her friend? Classic work, kid.”

 

“No.” Ichika whispered, so quiet she couldn’t even recognise herself. “I… I don’t understand.”

 

“She’s dead. That’s it.” An shrugged. “Should’ve told her to tell Nagi I said hi. Oh well, the time has passed.”

 

Ichika didn’t know how to feel. Angry? Sad? Freed? No, none of those fit.

 

She didn’t deserve to feel anything.

 

“Hey, whatever-your-name-is, you gonna get up?” An questioned, tilting her head to the side. “Or are you also dead?”

 

“Please, leave me alone.” Ichika muttered, not taking her eyes off Saki.

 

“You do you.” An murmured before making her way towards… Shiho.

 

Shiho.

 

She was gonna kill Shiho.

 

Ichika whipped her eyes around, a cold sweat encasing her as she reached out, hoping, begging that Shiho wasn’t dead.

 

But before she could say anything, a shrill, overwhelming light bled through her eyes, sending her rippling to the ground, cascading to her knees from the sheer force of sensory that prickled against her skin like someone had kicked her to the ground.

 

Ichika looked up, the light writhing through her ears, her body shaking from panic and overwhelm. She looked up, sweating, to see where the light came from.

 

“Finally,” Uttered a strange, dislodged, uncomfortable voice. Ichika tried to see who it came from, but the voice rung from every angle, every inch of the ballroom.

 

“Hmph. Shiraishi, I really thought you’d loosen your pride.” The voice cooed, before a tendril of glass reflecting against the sun pierced the demoness, leaving An screeching in pain.

 

“D-damn… you…!” An shrieked, sliding to the ground, near where Ichika laid disoriented and confused.

 

Footsteps wrought their way closer to Ichika, the tapping of concrete and heel ringing through Ichika’s ears. She trembled to look up, her eyes barely able to focus in their own right, until, finally, she gazed at the source of light.

 

“…Saki?”

 

“Oh. You’re Ichika.” Saki muttered, her tone cold, her eyes lifeless. “Saki only let me meet you once. It’s… sad.”

 

Ichika stumbled back, unable to keep her eyes off of the princess. No, this wasn’t a princess. This Saki… she wasn’t Saki. She wasn’t human.

 

“What?” Ichika shook her head, her words falling out of her mouth without her allowing them to. “I… I…!”

 

“I should thank you, actually.” The estranged monster uttered, reaching her twisted, glass… infested…

 

Saki pulled her hand out, which was draped in golden shards of light. “Stop acting like either of us care and leave!”

 

The person who tried to assassinate her… that she once thought was Saki…

 

Ichika couldn’t breathe. She paced back, further, further, further. She couldn’t feel the air reach her lungs. She couldn’t feel the air. She couldn’t feel it.

 

Ichika couldn’t stare at this being anymore. She needed to find Shiho. She needed to forget this place.

 

This was all her fault.

 

Ichika ran as fast as she could, her eyes wide, soaked with tears. Her hands were painted in blood – in fact, her entire clothes were drenched in the crimson liquid.

 

She hated it. She hated it so much. She couldn’t breathe, her entire body lost in stress, painted in red, turning her into her worst fear.

 

Ichika swatted away that thought – she hadn’t lost everything. She still needed to find Shiho.

 

And in the corner of her eye, grey light shined upon her eyes, with Shiho standing out, staring at Ichika.

 

“Shi… ho?” Ichika whispered. Her voice was meek, ready to shatter. Tears trailed down her eyes as she walked closer towards Shiho.

 

“You… used to be a dark mage?”

 

Shiho’s eyes widened, her entire body staring out at Ichika in horror. Tears formed in her eyes, her limbs weak as they fell to their sides.

 

I promised you, Shiho. Ichika reminded herself. That I’d stay by your side, no matter what. This is no exception.

 

It didn’t matter to Ichika if she was a dark mage. That was in the past. And to Ichika, it didn’t matter what happened back then.

 

Ichika would always stay by Shiho’s side. Even when her old duty was at stake, she chose Shiho’s heart over it.

 

And if this information was holding Shiho back, then so be it. She’d embrace Shiho, no matter what.

 

Ichika smiled at Shiho. She couldn’t help it. She wanted to make Shiho feel comfortable, for Shiho to be happy.

 

And as soon as she did smile, did Shiho finally release the pain inside her mind.

 

“You… really accept me?” Shiho whispered, slowly limping closer. Her eyes were thick with tears, her voice croaky and strained, yet filled to the brim with raw emotion.

 

Ichika took a step forward, nodding her head. “Of course.”

 

Shiho ran to Ichika, wrapping her hands around he lover, embracing her with tears. “I’m so sorry… I-I didn’t tell you,” She whispered, letting her emotions fall and rise, like the weight of the wind.

 

“Shiho…” Ichika responded, letting in the embrace. “I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

 

Before Ichika could continue, a loud screech pierced both of their ears, with Ichika arching her star-woven hand out at the loud sound and Shiho unsheathing her sword out of instinct alone.

 

“T-Tsukasa?” Ichika exclaimed, her eyes wide as she saw the prince slowly approach his sister. Shadows tainted his cape, his crown ruffled and unorganised, his sword still strapped in his sheath.

 

“We need to go.” Shiho muttered, pacing backwards. “We’re done here.”

 

“…” Ichika hesitated, her eyes flickering at the beast in front of her. And slowly but surely, she lowered her hand.

 

Ichika and Shiho both exchanged nods, almost like a code for Ichika to find a way out, while Shiho surveyed the area and found Shizuku, like the two had planned.

 

Ichika ran over to her old comrades in arms, her eyes looming over at the people she once knew. She didn’t dare speak to them, only making her way to the presumed exit, hoping for at least one of them to recognise her.

 

“…Hoshino?”

 

Ichika turned around, noticing the voice.

 

“Akito,” She murmured. The knight looked overwhelmed, almost frightened. Ichika didn’t expect him to act like this – it wasn’t natural for a war veteran to be so scared, especially after dealing with thousands upon thousands of deaths in order to protect the prince.

 

“I… thought you were dead.” Akito uttered. “What’s wrong with your hand?” He added, almost horrified from the sheer sight of Ichika’s star-woven fingertips.

 

“It’s my affinity, as a celestial mage and chief mage of the alliance.” Ichika elaborated.

 

Akito blinked. “Ena would’ve-” He cleared his throat, looking around frantically.

 

“Ena? The princess of Shinonome? …Didn’t you say your last name was only coincidence.”

 

“It is.” Akito pressed firmly. “But the princess might want you. …Be careful out there, Shinonome isn’t kind when it comes to negotiation.”

 

“Neither is Tenma.” Ichika retorted. “At least those in Shinonome haven’t planned assassinations against me and stole away the people I care about to use as hostages.”

 

Akito stared at Ichika like she was crazy. “We never did that.”

 

Ichika blinked. “Then you explain why Mochizuki was deployed out for several weeks after Shiho and I left.”

 

Akito’s olive-coloured eyes widened, his instinct prompting him to utter profanities under his breath.

 

“Don’t tell anyone.” Ichika hissed out. “Or I’ll tell everyone you’re a part of the Shinonomian royalty.”

 

While Ichika was entirely bluffing, she didn’t expect Akito to freeze up and stop walking.

 

“Of fucking course,” Akito spat out. “You’re a celestial mage. You probably know every fucking thing in Imperia. You probably have met the damn gods at this point.”

 

Akito continued walking, but at a quicker pace. “If that’s what you want, I won’t tell a soul about this conversation, Hoshino.” He uttered hastily.

 

“Thank you, Akito.” Ichika bowed her head, giving him a small smile in return.

 

“…Hey, Akito,” Ichika added, just before Akito was about to walk off.

 

“Yeah?” He muttered back, one brow raised.

 

“I don’t think Tenma is gonna last.”

 

Akito paused, looking at Ichika with an unreadable expression. “Only time will tell, Hoshino.”

 

Chapter 51: Saki's Point of view

Notes:

No joke, wrote this entire chapter in one sitting.

I am on chapter 95 rereading this and it’s way too rushed, so I’m just gonna fix it real quick

Saki’s eyes gazed out from behind the stairs, Honami holding onto her hand cheerily, yet still hesitantly. Honami had already told Saki about the strange amounts of affinity traces she noticed, which may have been why she was so distant.

 

But today was the coronation of her brother, after all. She knew just how important it was to Tenma.

 

“…” Honami’s gaze turned stern, her eyes dejectedly staring at the ground. “Saki-chan, I think you should stay here.”

 

“Hm?” Saki quipped, acknowledging the question with surprise. “Is this about the SoulDust?” she added.

 

The rose-haired mage took in a deep breath, her robe cast upon her figure, concealing the layers of protection that hid inside the pockets. Honami had made it a point to stock up on any kind of defence, from Tomes to daggers, all to stop the issue of Saki being killed, or… other issues.

 

“Don’t worry, Hona-chan.” Saki smiled.

 

“Saki,” Honami sighed. “I want to stay here.”

 

Saki pouted, a false tear rolling down her cheek, marked by her fingertip. “But Hona-chan~ I want you to join in!” She uttered woefully.

 

“Please? For me?” Saki added, trying to get Honami to change her mind and share the momentous occasion with her.

 

“Saki-chan, I… can’t. I can sense something back there,” Honami hesitantly turned her back, looking out onto the distance. “But I will see you after, my princess.”

 

“Hona, there’s no need for my title to be brought up!” Saki sighed, her hands adjusted to her hips. “I may be a princess, but I am your friend no matter what,”

 

“And as your friend, I want to make sure you’re safe, Saki.” Honami pulled Saki’s hands to her own, her crystalline eyes gently coaxing Saki’s fretting.

 

“Waah, you make it so… difficult,” Saki complained, looking at her surroundings to see if Honami’s suspicions would just come out and be dealt with.

 

“I love you,” Honami uttered shyly, letting off a gracious smile. “And I will always protect you.”

 

Saki couldn’t be sad or frustrated at Honami, not after that. Saki couldn’t rebuttal at all, especially since she knew that her life could easily be assassinated, or even Tsukasa’s. Honami was keeping watch, after all. It was her duty to make sure that Saki was safe.

 

A sense of déjà vu washed over the blonde, with her mellow expression shrunken and remorseful. She missed Ichika. Very, very much.

 

Why couldn’t we all be happy? Saki wondered. Why couldn’t I have been like big brother, like a normal person, free from it all?

 

Maybe Saki could change things. Maybe, after this, she could live freely. Then, she could win over Ichika and Shiho, and finally have things back to the way they used to.

 

Maybe.

 

Maybe… not.

 

Before Saki could so much as reminisce, a blonde prince stepped into her view from the corner of her eye.

 

“Saki,” Belted out a calm Tsukasa, his robes the purest of yellow, his eyes glimmering in the light that poured from the windows. His hair was tucked neatly, with his eyes highlighting the colour of his robes.

 

“Big brother!” She smiled, taking in the formalwear, looking at the neatly aligned blue star print that gently trailed inside, the crystals and jewellery that budded from the brooches to his freshly painted nails and stylised collar.

 

“How are the guests? Have you seen any of them?” Tsukasa asked, his eyes slightly dejected, his body mannerisms no longer as joyful as they once were.

 

Tsukasa had changed a lot in the past month after Rui died. In all honesty, Saki knew that Tsukasa was only putting up a front, and attempting to follow his dreams of being a star for her and for Rui. But in reality, when in closed doors, Saki knew that Tsukasa cried every night.

 

Saki could only wonder what kind of impact Akito’s death would have on Tsukasa. Especially when the two of them were secretly engaged.

 

Speaking of Akito…

 

“Big brother, do you know where Akito is?” Saki questioned, hoping to lighten Tsukasa’s real emotions into something more joyous and excitable.

 

“He said that he’d hide in the sidelines,” Tsukasa answered, his smile twitching.

 

Saki didn’t enjoy seeing her brother like this. In fact, she didn’t like it at all.

 

But she couldn’t do anything. Even in Tsukasa’s lonesome gaze, even in fancy robes that covered him in luxury, he’d still fall beneath the clutches of the light and dive into despair.

 

Because losing someone, someone so important to him, could not be brushed away.

 

Like the day she lost Ichika, she cried out, trying to keep going. That day, they both lost something important to them.

 

But Saki’s loss of Ichika was her own fault.

 

“Tsukasa! Saki!” Called out one of the high-ranking officiates, waving their hand over at the two blondes. “Your parents are ready to go when you are.”

 

Tsukasa nodded at the message, making his way over to the king and queen, while Saki turned to Honami and bid her rose-haired friend a small farewell before following in Tsukasa’s tracks.

 

The two of them, alongside the king and queen, made their way down the stairs. Saki adorned a white garment, one tailor-made by Honami, matching with the yellow and blue of Tsukasa’s robes. Saki stood behind her parents and her brother, her eyes focussing out onto the distance, gazing at the crowd.

 

Classical music rung through her ears as she stepped her way onto the stage, taking in the atmosphere that wrung around her. She took in a deep breath, continuing to look out.

 

Today is the day, Saki. She told herself, fitting on a fake smile. You failed, didn’t you?

 

Saki sucked in a breath of air. They’re coming. Honami even said so.

 

They’re coming for you.

 

Saki looked back out onto the crowd, her throat aching as she held back tears. I know, She told herself. M

 

I know.

 

Saki looked at her brother, hearing the sound of his voice, the way he tried to smile, no matter what. The way he naively looked out onto the crowd and uttered his thanks to everyone.

 

I love you, brother. Saki smiled. I’m… sorry.

 

Saki looked up at the ceiling – she could sense it. She could sense them. She looked back out at her brother, at her parents. They didn’t know, did they?

 

No, they knew. Saki acknowledged. They were the reason all of this was happening.

 

Saki resented her parents. No one knew this, though. Saki despised how horrible and power-seeking and greedy they were. They could both commit crimes that no one could even dare to and not a single person would bat an eye. They could work with enemies only to cast their own people aside.

 

They planned this. Saki knew they planned this. To give Saki to them, as the last hope of the kingdom. They made Saki as a purifier to the curse. Someone who could still continue the kingdom, even in their death.

 

Saki was created to ascend. And even if Saki’s parents loved her, she’d never love them.

 

Because they ruined any chance she had at life, all because they wanted to keep the kingdom alive.

 

Today was the day the curse ended. The day that everything would change. The day her parents died, and Tsukasa took up the throne.

 

That was the plan. To make Tsukasa the last heir to hold the curse.

 

For Tsukasa… to die.

 

Saki turned around. She could hear it. Feel it.

 

And there it was.

 

How… fitting.

 

Shadows poured from the stairs, blotchy and infectious, blocking off the exits and windows to keep everyone inside the ballroom.

 

Saki noticed Tsukasa’s panic, but she couldn’t do anything. She only stared out into the abyss that was the shadows entanglement.

 

Was it this panic that held her back, or her own realisation that the fate she was given would finally be fulfilled?

 

…Saki never knew.

 

the ink-blotched ripples tiptoed further and further towards Saki, her own breath heaving as the strange sight plagued her once more.

 

“Hello, hello. Glad to be back,” Stepped forward the creator of destruction itself, sporting a wicked smile adorned in intestinal fracturing and decay.

 

“Ah, princess!” She swivelled, her hulking figure sliding along the goop, stepping forward. “Have you brought Shiho to me?”

 

“…What?” Saki stepped back, playing dumb.

 

“Don’t fuck with me.” She hissed her eyes dragged to the ground. “You know who I am. If you don’t bring that swine to me… well, you know what will happen.”

 

Saki held her breath. “…” Saki shuffled again, a cold sweat beading down her forehead. “I…” She stumbled, looking around frantically.

 

Then, the ceiling shattered.

 

”No!” Saki shrieked. She didn’t believe this much destruction was necessary.

 

She knew the monster in front of her would never answer her pleas.

 

It was… hopeless.

 

The demoness in front of Saki clapped her hands about, her eyes glimmering in pride. “Ah, Kohane-chan! Perfect entry,” She smiled.

 

“An, I don’t know what you want,” Saki huffed, looking around. “If you wanted to j-just kill Tsukasa, then-”

 

“You think I want that dumb fucker?” An’s eyes widened, a cocky smile plastered against her. “Hah! He’s as useless as The king and queen. Besides, killing him isn’t our job here.”

 

Saki froze.

 

This… wasn’t a part of the plan.

 

“What is it? You mad that your brother isn’t dying?” An raised an eyebrow, tilting her distorted neck to the side.

 

Saki let out a sob. “Why are you doing this? Why are you h-here…?”

 

“We were promised a former companion with grey hair and green eyes, princess.”

 

“No.” She screeched. “Wh-who… is that?”

 

An gripped Saki by the neck, throwing her to the ground, tossing her onto the stage without a second thought.

 

“Please, I-I don’t have anything like that,” Saki begged, her eyes filled with tears.

 

She tried to struggle away, to escape, but it didn’t matter which way she went. Damned if she does, damned if she didn’t.

 

“You know, I’m not in a good mood, Princess.” An spat out, her body looming over Saki’s.

 

“So, hand her over.”

 

“I…” Saki stuttered, her voice lost amongst the horror, her hands jittering. “I don’t have the knight.”

 

“Liar, liar…” An hissed, her tongue flicking amongst the roof of her mouth. “To think you’d only call her a knight, even after we sent her over to befriend you…”

 

An’s smile deflated, her entire physique changing to boiling hatred, encased in crimson and chain. “Shiho Hinomori, my little plaything… why won’t she come home, hm?”

 

Saki stared in horror. She wanted to run away. None of this was a part of the plan.

 

“Ah right, I know why.” A didn’t hesitate to slap Saki.

 

”Because you think it’s to protect her.”

 

“…Shiho?”

 

Saki’s eyes widened, her body overflowing with complete and utter shock.

 

She knew that voice.

 

She knew that tone.

 

She knew her.

 

Ichika Hoshino.

 

“Ichika…!” Saki shrieked, looking, staring, horrified at the mere fact that Ichika stood before her.

 

Ichika seemed… different. Her hair was chopped off, barely reaching her ears. Her hand was fully amputated, using her affinity to substitute it. And her clothes… It was just as Honami said.

 

Ichika was a part of the white alliance.

 

Ichika… was gone.

 

“Saki, why did you do this?” Ichika began. Saki couldn’t help but back away, staring distinctly at Ichika.

Why did it hurt so much to look over at the person she once cared so much for? Why did she feel sick staring at Ichika? Why was it so cold, so lonely?

 

Saki couldn’t stand the cold glare, the way Ichika still continued to look with such appalling, resentful disgust.

 

All she wanted was for Ichika to be her friend.

 

“I didn’t want to lose you!” Saki wailed, choking out the truth, trying to defend herself. “I… I…!”

 

“I don’t care,” Ichika spat back.“You… you left me.”

 

Saki felt her heart heave at those words.

….I never meant to leave you. I never meant to hurt you. I should’ve… let you stay…!

 

”You put a bounty on my head. And now, you’re taking the one person I love?” Ichika scoffed, looking back at the one she cared about most.

 

And the worst part?

 

Saki couldn’t blame her.

 

Saki backed away, tears falling to her cheeks.

 

No… No…!

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Saki shook her head, taking a step back. “I didn’t want to do this!”

 

“Then why!?” Ichika screamed, her eyes wide with fury, tears forming against her frantic eyes, pooling from beneath her cheeks.

 

“Why did you do it!?”

 

Saki froze, completely dissociating from everything around her.

 

…She was a monster, wasn’t she?

 

She looked down at her hand. At her body. At her clothes. At her hair.

 

“Ichika, why are you even here?” “It sounds like you don’t even care for this kingdom.”

 

“I thought you trusted me, Ichi-chan.” “It seems like you… you just want to leave us. Leave me.”

 

“Leave me alone then, Ichika! You don’t understand!” “Can’t you just trust me for once? Am I not good enough for you?”

 

“Ichika…” “You know, I knew you never really cared for me,” “You only cared because I was the princess.”

 

“You are no longer my sworn sword, Hoshino. Now that I’ve found someone better than you…” “…you are nothing more than a worthless pile of garbage.”

 

“Stop acting like either of us care and leave!”

 

Those were her words, weren’t they?

 

Words of a monster. Words of a sociopath. Words born and manifested by her inner being.

 

She couldn’t just blame it on anyone else. She said them, even if she didn’t want to.

 

Her affinity was still her. Even if the two of them had different outlooks on life, her affinity could still control her, to some extent.

 

And she’d have to own up to her own mistakes. She’d have to live, knowing that her affinity could control her, swap in, and ruin her entire life.

 

She was created… to ascend.

 

Ichika’s voice broke her from her daze, causing her to step backwards in sheer panic.

 

“No.” Ichika spat out, her eyes boiling with fury.. “You… YOU…”

 

Ichika raised her hand, her eyes locked onto Saki, scrutinising her at every turn she made. She felt completely and utterly worthless.

 

She scrambled forward, her eyes laced with tears, her cheeks swollen and puffy as she screamed out her pain.

 

“I’m so… so…!” Saki screeched, tears streaming down her cheeks.

 

“All I ever wanted was to be friends, Ichika! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

 

“Liar!” Ichika exclaimed. “You wouldn’t’ve tried to kill me if you didn’t want to hurt me!”

 

“Look at yourself, Saki! You’re nothing more than a-a hypocrite!” Ichika stepped forward again, and again, with Saki stepping further and further way.

 

“I know!” Saki screamed between sobs, clutching her chest from the pain that bubbled in her throat. “I know I am! I know that I deserve this!”

 

“…Then why?!” Ichika whispered, lowering her hand for just a moment. “Why do you continue to sell us out? Murder people?! Why do you-”

 

“-I CAN’T TELL YOU!” Saki screeched, her words echoing across the entire ballroom, her voice no longer a beg, or a plead. It was loud. So, so loud.

 

…Why do I even exist, if all I am is a monster?

 

Ichika’s mannerisms changed completely, her eyes dulled out, her hands sunk to her sides, her gaze lifeless. Saki let out a hiss of air, quaking, trembling, confused. “N-no…” Saki whispered, stepping closer to Ichika.

 

Had Ichika… died?

 

“…” Ichika’s gaze looked up, directly at Saki.

 

“You never trusted me, didn’t you.” Ichika whispered, her body looming over Saki’s.

 

Everything was cold.

 

“You never thought that I’d ever understand what you’re going through. …Even now, you still won’t tell me.”

 

Saki stared in horror, her mouth agape. No words fell out. No sobs, no scoffs, no screams to be whistled in the heat of battle.

 

She was born a monster.

 

“It’s okay, Saki.” Ichika whispered, reaching out her hand.

 

No, this isn’t real. Saki told herself. No… was this…?

 

Saki didn’t care if this was a dream.

 

If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake up.

 

“…Is it really okay?” Saki questioned, meek and confused, yet still approaching Ichika, closing the gap between them. “Will you… still be my friend?”

 

Ichika didn’t respond, only staring back at her hand.

 

 

“Maybe in another universe.”

 

Saki felt Ichika’s hand, now morphed into a dagger, plunge into her heart.

 

Her entire body sunk to the ground, the pain and agony immeasurable.

 

She closed her eyes, feeling her own sense of self slip away.

 

Her vision grew darker… and darker.

 

Until a speck of light floated through her eyes. A reflection of her, bearing white horns, scales, and a veil of light embroidered in her limbs.

 

Her affinity.

 

“Are we… dead?” Saki asked, stepping towards her mirrored self. She couldn’t feel her movements, but she could see her step towards the reflection of her. The light.

 

“Do you want us to be dead?” Her affinity questioned.

 

“No,” Saki uttered impulsively. “O-of course not. I…”

 

The affinity stepped forward, her eyes gentle, her mouth almost articulately unable to smile. Her clawed hands of her reflection traced against her cheek, gentle and kind.

 

“Saki…” Her affinity whispered, their eyes fluttering. “Will you… allow me to live?”

 

“I…” Saki hesitated. “Hona-chan will help you. You’ve met her before. Everyone else…” Saki looked at the bottomless abyss that was the ground. “I don’t think they’d be so kind.”

 

“That’s okay.” Her affinity uttered. “But when you do wish to slot in, If you ever feel incredibly uncomfortable, I won’t hesitate. Just like last time.”

 

“You’ll be in… full control.” Saki uttered. “Just… tell Ichika I’m sorry.”

 

Saki looked back at her affinity. At who she’d become.

 

She was born to ascend.

 

Born to take this form.

 

Born to be a weapon.

 

“I believe in you.” Saki uttered, reaching her hand out. “I’m sorry… for rejecting you all this time.”

 

“It’s okay.” Her affinity answered. “I get why you did.”

 

Tears fell down Saki’s cheeks, her vision blurred, her hand reaching out to her reflection. “I guess… this is it.”

 

“Goodnight, Saki.”

 

…

 

A new Saki awoke, one sporting a new name. Rin. A name that she was accustomed to, having used it in the past, before becoming Saki’s affinity,

 

she strode over, looking out at the mess. Normally, she’d only be able to spectate Saki’s decisions.

 

But now… she could remove the pain that these humans had done to Saki.

 

“Finally,” Rin stated, looking over at a distinct figure. Shiraishi… wasn’t it? A formidable adversary, yet blotched and weak from her laziness.

 

“Hmph. Shiraishi, I really thought you’d loosen your pride.” Rin observed, flicking her hand, using the reflections of light to burn Shiraishi and toss her away.

 

“D-damn… you…!” Shiraishi shrieked, sliding to the ground, near where an azure-haired human laid disoriented and confused.

 

Rin looked at the person, walking towards the strange individual, until finally, she tilted their head upwards.

 

“…Saki?”

 

That voice. Rin remembered it.

 

“Oh. You’re Ichika.” Rin exclaimed surprisedly, trying to create what people would call a ‘grin’. Rin didn’t exactly remember how to do that, though. She normally just yelled at people. “Saki only let me meet you once. It’s… sad.”

 

“I should thank you, actually.” Rin commented, looking up from her new claws, only to lessen her intrigue to defeat. “Huh. She’s gone.”

 

Before Rin could even so much as take a step, chains clasped against them instantaneously. They attempted to pull away, frustrated and confused, only for more chains to pull them back.

 

“Come on,” Rin groaned. “I just stopped those two from murdering all of you!”

 

“…Saki?”

 

Rin looked up at the voice calling out their other half’s name. It was a voice they didn’t get to meet.

 

A blonde man, encased in fancy robes, trembled forward.

 

“Who are you?” Rin stated curiously, turning their head. “And… why are you so… sad?”

 

“Y-you’re… a monster.” He stated, reaching for some sort of weapon clasped to his side. Where did he even get that? It’s totally tacky.

 

“That’s rude, you know.” Rin complained. “What, are you gonna stab me now?”

 

Rin knew that this blade was going to reach her.

 

So, she simply… spun it around.

 

She didn’t get to see the impact, though, as she was injected with some kind of needle, disorienting her vision.

 

“Hey!” She shouted, her brows locked in a furrow. “Idiots, I swear…”

 

She tried to continue to move her mouth, but nothing came from it.

 

Damn, Rin realised. They drugged me to sleep.

 

Rin looked back at her hands, noticing small instances of crimson. She wondered what was up with that.

 

Before she could even so much as think, her mind finally lulled into a sense of unconsciousness, driving her into a somnambulistic state of mind.

 

She could only wonder what would happen when she woke up.

Notes:

was originally gonna make Saki's affinity an OC but come on it's so much cooler that Rin just gets to fuck around from god to princess.

also yes, An and Kohane's affinities are other vocaloids.

Chapter 52

Notes:

Bro im so tired... I just had a 3 day long weekend as well... I'm exhausted...

Anyways Shiho chapter yay

Oh also whenever you see Mizook referred to as a 'he', this was pre-transition. I will never support the people thinking that Mizuki is a femboy or a crossdresser. And if you do refer to Mizuki as 'he' even after her transition, I will block you.

A thick summer blazed down, shadows unable to remedy the scorching heat that fell against their shoulders.

 

Shiho was tired from a long day’s work – she presumed that Tagaki-chan was also just as exhausted. But the two had to make it back to the base, back to where the others resided, awaiting their return.

 

“Do you think An-chan will be mad at us?” Miu questioned meekly, her eyes hidden from her brunette locks.

 

“She doesn’t care if we’re late – take her reactions to Mizuki as an example.” Shiho elaborated.

 

“Mizuki-Kun is a bit strange, though.” Miu commented, fiddling with her hands. “I guess… we’re all strange. He’s just a bit… sadder.”

 

“He runs away a lot.” Shiho sighed. “But his sadness doesn’t make him weird.”

 

Miu nodded, her eyes upturned, her ears simmering in the silence.

 

“I wonder why he runs away,” Shiho questioned, scowling. “It’s rude.”

 

“Maybe it’s like running from soldiers,” Miu explained, if only providing theories. “Or maybe he likes to be alone.”

 

The pair sat in the silence, both awaiting the next moments, looking out in the peak of dusk for any monsters. Miu wore a distinct coat to conceal who she was – which was to be expected, they were on Shinonome territory, and Miu said she used to come from there. Also the fact that dark mages were ‘enemies’. But none of them could help being dark mages. Shiho wanted to be a knight out at Tenma, but no, she just had to have this stupid affinity.

 

It had been four years since she last joined the dark mages, leaving Tenma. She still missed Sis a lot, but she’d hate herself if she brought Shizuku down with her. But now, all the dark mages were her family.

 

She could always meet sis again whenever she wanted to – she just had to figure out how to control her affinity. She didn’t know how long it would take – would it be months, like Akiyama, or years, like the others? Would she even still visit? Maybe for Miu, or An.

 

Shiho shoved her thoughts to the back of her mind and began to finally trudge through the entrance, with Miu following in suit. Shiho always hated the amount of stairs, and how dingy it was to get there, but when she did get to the base, it did at least feel a little rewarding.

 

With the small creak of the door, the two managed to finally report back with their findings.

 

“Little sis Shiho and Miu are back!” Cheered An, running over to greet the pair with a squeal. “Yay! Kohane-chan and I were wondering when you were gonna get back! You took forever,”

 

“…Sorry.” Shiho mumbled. They probably would’ve come there quicker if Shiho didn’t hold back when those mages were attacking them.

 

“So, what things did you figure out? Any secrets? Spooky kings and queens? Oh, oh, or even the princess! Did you see the princess?” An exclaimed curiously.

 

“We… heard about some new… kingdom.” Shiho stated, trying not to doze off from exhaustion.

 

“A place of both knights and mages.” Miu added, if a bit shyly. “…A place that wants to hunt us.”

 

An frowned. “That’s not fun,” She pouted. “I don’t want to battle…”

 

“Sorry, An, but I’m gonna go to my room. I’m super tired.” Shiho explained, half awake as is.

 

“have a good sleep, little sis Shiho,” An grinned, waving as Shiho left to her room.

 

But now… An was a monster, and Miu was dead.

 

Shiho hated reflecting on those old memories – even while she was well aware they were all gone. Even when she was riding a carriage made to deliver her home, safe and sound.

 

She knew she’d never escape them. When she returned from Tenma without Miu, they all blamed Tagaki’s death on her. When she didn’t return from her mission in the Dark War, they sent squads to hunt Shiho down, only resulting in constant hallucinations and nightmares. Nightmares where she’d be killed, over and over, known as nothing more than a traitor.

 

But now, she was next to the one she loved, sitting in a leather seat, watching the sunset morph into the dusk.

 

Shiho let out a sigh, her eyes sinking down to her hands. Why did she have to be like this? Why did she even make these choices? What even happened while she was gone to make An become a literal monster?

 

“Ichika, I’m so… sorry.” Shiho uttered. She had apologised countless, endless times before while being driven home, with most of her apologies happening completely randomly.

 

“I love you.” Ichika responded. Every time Shiho would apologise, Ichika would instantaneously say those three words. Shiho couldn’t be any more grateful to know that Ichika cared about her – that she had someone to fight for.

 

And so, as she fell asleep, did her mind finally stop her from being plagued with nightmares.

Notes:

Yeah uh you know how Mizook was talking about how she didn't have an affinity during Ena's chapter? Yeah she hasn't told Ena yet that she used to be a dark mage, only that she was in the Tenma royal guard. Kinda wild to think about but it will be elaborated further on in the story. Love you Mizook!!

ALSO HER NEW CARDS ARE QUITE LITERALLY THE TRANS COLOURS. Y'ALL I CANT MAKE THIS UP BRO THE MIZUTRANS DENIERS CAN KEEP LOSING L + RATIO + SKILL ISSUE

Chapter 53

Notes:

Hello once more, for I have criminally pushed this chapter to the side, replayed omori, cried from final duet, and wrote this.

I decided to give y'all a little treat with some fluff today. Hopefully it'll suffice after the trauma I've put these characters through after it all

The way home to the Alliance wasn’t long, lasting two days’ worth of time and a whole lot of exhaustion and questions. Ichika’s eyes remained lost as she gazed back at her hands, questioning her own existence every time she stared back at who she was.

 

A monster. A murderer. A pawn.

 

She could still feel the blood on her hands – the blood that she’d never wash, no matter how many times she’d try and remove. She could feel it through everything she did.

 

She didn’t know how anyone could cope through this feeling. No – those people also went through this, just as she did. Shiho went through this. Honami went through this. Everyone she knew went through this.

 

And Saki… she was gone, wasn’t she? She was dead, left only as a monstrous husk, like An.

 

While Ichika didn’t know how Shiho left the dark mages and joined the alliance, she did know that if Shiho didn’t, she’d turn out just like those monsters.

 

Just the mere thought of Shiho being manipulated and used again made her blood boil. Shiho was just trying to survive, trying to live, trying to leave her old life behind. But people still wanted to ruin her life, make her accountable for actions she didn’t commit, and misconstrue every inch of her until she died from it all.

 

Ichika looked back at Shiho. At her silver hair, her tired, somnambulistic state. How she slept peacefully, how her chest rose and fell, how she continued to live despite everything. How, despite it all, she continued.

 

Ichika finally knew how it turned this way, how Shiho and many others could be traumatised by simply living. Ichika wasn’t as innocent as she once was, after all. She was different now. She… was traumatised, just like all the others.

 

Was this always how it was going to end? Was this how she’d lose herself, watching every truth she held onto dissolve into nothing?

 

Ichika had to continue. She didn’t want to end up like the rest. She wanted to live. She wanted to continue. Not for Shiho, or Saki, or Honami. She wanted to live for herself.

 

Maybe in another universe… her blissful ignorance would be the only pain she had to endure.

 

Maybe in another universe… she was dead, lying, suffocating, drowning in it all.

 

Maybe her life was like a river, branching out, losing its current.

 

Maybe those words she said to Saki… maybe they were just.

 

Maybe her life would always end up this way.

 

Maybe she had to let go in order to live.

 

Maybe…

 

Maybe…

 

Maybe she could move on from these hypotheticals, move on from Saki, move on from Tenma. Maybe, despite it all, she could move forward.

 

Maybe she needed to reach the ocean, having travelled from the streams of rivers all of her life.

 

And this time, unlike the rest of these universes, she could share it with Shiho.

 

Because in this universe, unlike all of the hypotheticals…

 

She lived, sitting next to the one she loved.

 

Shiho slowly awoke from her slumber, her eyes fluttering around like that of a winged butterfly. She let out a small gasp of air, her body tense as she pulled herself up.

 

“Are we… home?” Shiho questioned, looking out at the snow through her window.

 

“Soon.” Ichika responded, fiddling with her hands. She could hear the wind bellow against the windows, watching Shiho’s anticipation slowly hold onto hope.

 

She could go home, she could live despite the maybes.

 

Ichika smiled, despite the weather. She smiled, knowing that she got to move on. Knowing that, despite her being imperfect, she didn’t have to look back.

 

And when the gates to the alliance’s silverly-intwined entrance peered open, did she look out, and finally understand her purpose.

 

These people were her people. Some were born into the alliance. Some sought refuge under the walls. And some, like her, came into the alliance hoping for a better future.

 

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Shiho murmured, simply curious in her observation.

 

“I’m smiling because, well… we lived.” Ichika uttered, looking through the reflection of the carriage windows and out onto the people. “I’m glad that I’m still by your side, Shiho.”

 

Finally, after all this time, there was a moment where the two of them didn’t need to worry. Didn’t need to hide over threats, or rush because of time.

 

Ichika was glad. Glad that she chose this universe.

 

Glad that, finally, she accomplished the one thing she wanted to.

 

And now… she could rest, laying against the snow, with Shiho next to her.

Notes:

I recently released my Willoweis (Willow x Semmelweis from reverse 1999) oneshot, a ship made by me, and although y'all aint my audience for that fic I just want y'all to know it's given me so much motivation to keep writing from all the kind words and the new people who also love the dynamic. If any of y'all are in the R1999 fandom, I do recommend reading it!! I friggin love the R1999 fandom i swear. Both the Ichishiho fandom and R1999 fandom have treated me so nicely (Genshin could never, once again. Those fuckers be launching death threats at me every two minutes for nonsense i swear)

And yes, I have watched arcane, and yes (again), I did reference JayVic in this chapter. I mean Arcane is a friggin masterpiece how couldn't I

Chapter 54

Notes:

Y'all I've been busting my ass trying to just get my other Mizumafu fic's next chapter just halfway done (Which means around 2k words a day) and I genuinely had zero clue how to finish this one cause I just tabbed to it and realised i needed to update this one, so uh...

Y'all it's so small but Rin(Saki) POV so yay!

Rin let out a sigh, her body weak as the bare luminousness of her scales portrayed the only light in the dingy place. Chains lined her figure, from her horns to her neck to her ankles. She blinked, the ticking noise bothersome, even while she had free will.

 

“Sak… err, Rin-chan,” Uttered the careful voice of Honami, her eyes cold, looking through the bars as she made her way into Saki’s dwelling.

 

“Eh?” Rin peeked up, her eyes looming over at the mage, noticing her royal blue gloves. “What’s up with the uniform?” Rin queried.

 

“…Just a safety precaution,” Honami mumbled, clearly feeling guilty.

 

“Anyways,” Rin huffed, her eyes barely able to gaze the shrill light that peeked from outside. “How are things up there? Those dinguses treating you well?”

 

Honami nodded, if a bit hesitant. “They… they want to execute you.”

 

“Where have I seen this before,” Rin mumbled sarcastically, recounting her life as an envoy of Miku, reminded of the amount of weapons lunged at her. “Surely those idiots aren’t planning on making it public, right?”

 

“I…” Honami shuddered, her voice quaking, if only slightly. “…Can I see Saki, Rin?”

 

“You see, she’s kinda tired,” Rin bullshitted, knowing that if Saki were to see Honami in such a mess that Rin would have to bite the bullet and let the princess stay in consciousness for longer than five minutes. I mean, Rin was nice, but Saki never gave her more than five minutes.

 

“Ah, right,” Honami nodded, attempting to get back into composure. “I… I’m trying to convince the higher-ups to release you, Rin.”

 

“It’s really kind of you, but don’t worry about me. Besides, isn’t the prince missing? Why are they dealing with me first?”

 

Honami paused, her body cold, shaken from countless sleepless nights. Her uniform was ragged, and her eyes were plagued with dark circles that traced her otherwise gentle skin. Rin had only met Honami a few times, but this time… Honami looked defeated. Like she had no hope left.

 

“Everything’s in shambles, Rin.” Honami hissed out; her voice trembling as she tried pursing her lips to subdue the pain. “How are you so calm…?”

 

“Because I’m the goddess of change, Honami.” Rin uttered. She didn’t really like announcing her godhood – Len already did plenty when it came to that. Honestly, if Len would just stop talking all the time-

 

“-But I…” Honami interrupted, her crystalline eyes swelling with tears, her voice getting louder with every desperate whisper. “I don’t like this…!”

 

“You know, when that Ichika girl killed the princess and I finally got to speak with Saki,” Rin began, “She told me that out of everyone, you’d be the one to help me. …And, as a god, I know that I’d have to repay you.”

 

“Repay?” Honami boggled, her eyes wide in confusion.

 

“Mark my words, this kingdom will not fall.” Rin elaborated, pulling her hand to her chest. “Well, as long as I’m in it, of course.”

 

“Are you sure?” Honami whispered, trying her best to believe what Honami was saying. “That this kingdom… it isn’t destroyed?”

 

“Duh.” Rin rolled her eyes. “Don’t sweat it.” She smiled.

 

Honami tried to smile back, but there was something that swarmed her brain.

 

“…Ichika killed Saki?”

Notes:

RIP Saki fans she's not switching in for a long time, we've got Rin for semi-comic relief to compensate tho!!

Oh yeah Honami's gonna go triple insane guys trust

Chapter 55

Notes:

Y'all I've finished drafting out the main plot for my PolyJUMP magical girl au so once my other Mizumafu fic is finished I'll be co-writing that with my pookie Aki_blob :)

Winter poured across the Alliance, snow following every gale. Shiho held onto her brooch carefully, her eyes sore from the countless nights she spent attending to the new Tenma refugees.

 

It had been about two and a half week-wise since the coronation. The entirety of Tenma was divided – some fled, some tried to find the ‘missing’ prince, and some took commands from the awakened monster, Saki. But the one thing that collectively joined these areas together was the loathing of the mages who brought the destruction.

 

Shiho hated how those people just wouldn’t let go. It didn’t matter how wounded, how horrid they were, they’d only continue.

 

“Shiho,” Ichika questioned, getting up from her mattress and over to the window where Shiho stood. “I know you’re thinking about them.”

 

“Why…” Shiho spat, her eyes squinted and lost. “They’re gonna drag us out, and for what? We never used to fight without reasons.”

 

“They are looking for you.” Ichika elaborated as if it were common knowledge. “Saki made a deal… to trade you to them.”

 

“But I’m of no use to them,” Shiho hissed, trying to grapple with what was going on. “I’m doing nothing to them…”

 

“I-I wish I could help,” Ichika responded, her eyes downcast.

 

“Don’t beat yourself up, my love.” Shiho looked at Ichika, at her gentle, caring eyes, swimming amidst the stardust.

 

“I didn’t think there’d be so many people,” Ichika uttered, her eyes gazing out at the window, the snow beading down the sight of people lugging through with nothing but sorrow to fill their path. Not many knew that Ichika was the one to awaken Saki and cause this. In fact, most of the people amongst the refuge revered Ichika for standing up and facing Saki. …She was a legend to them, a saint.

 

In the two weeks that the pair had arrived, Ichika moved into Shiho’s home and started her new life in the alliance, training her skills as a mage almost every day, hours on end, with Shiho helping in some integers when she could. Shiho was barricaded with constant work in return, orders and questions and claims that she’d participate in removing the Tenma kingdom from the map. Not to mention the sickly rumours she’d always get whenever venturing in Tenma. Every time she’d hear them speaking, every word filled with uncertainty, she’d simply tell them to venture to Shinonome. And when the numbers grew and the people continued to view her as unsightly, she’d remove them from the Alliance.

 

Currently, Airi was patrolling the people in refuge with her authoritarian skills showing no mercy to the people who looked down on the alliance. Honestly, Shiho wondered why they even bothered.

 

“Hey, Shiho,” Ichika began, turning away from the window in the process. “Do you know what Saki is? You know, with the horns, and the scales,”

 

“She’s an awakened mage.” Shiho uttered, her tone breathless and meek. “The first light mage to awaken, actually.”

 

Ichika looked over intently, finding the combination of words perplexing.

 

“…What are awakened mages?” Ichika questioned, trying her best not to sound lost or confused. Shiho knew it was taking a lot for Ichika to reconcile with the idea that Saki was a sort of mage, like her.

 

Shiho hesitated before she spoke, asking, “Are you sure you want to know this, Ichi?”

 

“Yes.” Ichika nodded, a determined expression on her face. “I don’t want to shelter myself anymore.” She reinforced.

 

“Tell me everything.”

 

“Well, mages who let their affinities consume them are awakened mages. They… allow their affinities to use their bodies and consciousness, losing themselves in the process.” Shiho paused, knowing how much this was to take in for Ichika. How unfamiliar it all seemed. “These people… they can live for thousands of years. The only way they can die is by the gods imposing their will.” Shiho answered.

 

“…I was taught about awakened mages in my time as a dark mage. Miu was supposed to be one.”

 

Miu. Every time Shiho thought about her, a wave of frustration washed over her. She didn’t understand why Miu had to die. But now, knowing that Saki’s affinity was the one to kill her… all she felt was numb.

 

“Saki… I killed her.” Ichika uttered, looking down at her hands. “How was she able to ascend?”

 

“Saki is gone. Her consciousness, everything about her, has been traded to her affinity. They’ll probably take a new name.” Shiho explained.

 

“…Everyone’s afraid of who Saki is now. Honestly, the amount of Tenma civilians that have joined our ranks is because of Saki.”

 

“Shiho…” Ichika looked over at the grey-haired knight, her eyes furrowed in concern. “Do you think she’ll wage war because of me?”

 

“She’s too preoccupied about the mess An and Kohane made. War is the last thing on her mind.” Shiho sighed.

 

Shiho knew it was a lie. Tenma was known to have one of the most skilled armies. Not to mention everything that went on in the coronation, Tenma was most likely grappling with everything all at once. But Shiho had to remain optimistic for Ichika. She had to.

 

“Hey, Ichika, do you want tea?” Shiho asked gently.

 

“Sure.” Ichika nodded. “You can tell me more about these awakened mages, if you’d like to.”

 

Shiho smiled, if only weakly. “Fine by me.”

Notes:

Y'all i got super lazy for this chapter my bad

Chapter 56

Notes:

Y’all I’m so sorry for the really late upload, I just went on holiday for 10 days and having to suffer being deadnamed with no escape and constantly being on edge with my parents was not fun. But hey, I’m out of the holiday and can rot in my room for all they care, so yeah I was able to finish this chapter in the time it took to fly home :>

 

Ichika’s eyes laid dormant and stagnant, eyeing the tea in her hands, while the brooch on her uniform remained crooked from her rushed demeanour. After all, both Shiho and herself had work to do after this.

 

“Your brooch is crooked.” Shiho pointed out, taking it upon herself to fix it. Ichika obliged, knowing that as an official member of the White Alliance, she had to be professional.

 

“Thank you, my knight,” Ichika smiled, earning an embarrassed nod from her girlfriend.

 

A small minute passed with silence, as the tea in Ichika’s hands grew cold. Is this… my life? Ichika wondered, gripping the cup tighter with each laboured breath. All of this, is it real?

 

These questions weren’t answered, nor were they asked.

 

“…When will we tell Sis?” Shiho brought up, if a bit fidgety presenting the request. “About us, I mean.”

 

“…” Ichika paused, taking a sip of her tea. “I think… maybe, we should schedule a meeting.”

 

“We don’t have to bring work into it,” Shiho sighed. “…I was thinking, maybe we could tell her tonight. Just to… get it off my chest, y’know?”

 

Ichika nodded, but her face grew tired at the mere action. “Yeah, maybe bringing in work isn’t the best… but I agree. J-just make sure she doesn’t announce it to the public,” Ichika prefaced.

 

“Don’t worry about the public. Except Mr. Ayoagi.” Shiho groaned. “He almost kicked out his son for going outside the border. He can’t really do anything to interfere with us, but he’s… an issue.”

 

Ichika remembered from when she first assumed her role as chief mage that he wasn’t very liked by the public. She never explicitly met the man, but it was still slightly unnerving.

 

Ichika stared at her tea, the trembling liquid in her hands. The cup that continued to wait for nothing at all.

 

All of this – this moment, these words, each and every interaction… it all felt fake. Like she had died in that battle, and everything that transpired now was just a figment of her imagination.

 

How did she survive, after everything? …why was she even alive in the first place?

 

“Ichi, is everything alright?” Shiho spoke up. Ichika let out a gasp of panic, before nodding at Shiho’s words. “Y-yeah, yeah…” she muttered, but her voice grew quiet and meek.

 

“I…” Ichika began, her eyes staring at her tea, as if it was the only thing keeping her sane. “I don’t think any of this is… real.”

 

Shiho looked at Ichika, almost as if to say that she understood what Ichika meant.

 

“After the war, when I was taken in as a white knight, I… felt that feeling.” Shiho’s words ring genuine, despite the pain in her tone. “But to the people of Tenma, and to our people, you are a symbol of strength.”

 

“…I am?” Ichika asked, earning a nod from the one she loved.

“I hear stories about you being the one to help them all in Tenma to move from that place. You’re the mage who stood up for them, and despite it all, you helped them live.” Shiho answered.

 

Tears sprung to Ichika’s eyes, unable to stop her from trembling. She took in a shaky breath, only to exhale with a sob. “Sorr-sorry,” she let out a hiccup, one unnatural as her breaths deregulated. She didn’t know why this overwhelming sadness washed over her. It was uncomfortable, stuffy, and she couldn’t stop it no matter how hard she tried.

 

“I do- don’t know wh-y,” Ichika stammered, her hands clinging to the fabric of her uniform, her eyes squinted as she wept desperately.

 

“…I, I shouldn’t-” she ravaged in a breath, “-be crying,”

 

“I don’t know why,” her voice strained. “I d-don’t…” she repeated; her words running sour as she wiped her tears with her trembling hands.

 

“Huh… I-” Ichika began, thinking her despair had ended, only for the moment to capsize and send a torrent of tears twisting her thoughts.

 

Beseeched wails stammered from her lips, her eyes drenched with crystalline tears. She blinked, and blinked again, but no matter how many times she blinked, how many times she heaved in a breath, her tears wouldn’t conclude.

 

Something warm wrapped against Ichika, sending the tears to stagnation, causing the azure-haired girl to look up from her weeping.

 

It was Shiho, her hands wrapped against Ichika’s torso, her warmth bleeding through the travesty that wove through the mage.

 

“E-everything is changing,” Ichika uttered, her words escaping her mouth. “I don’t know what to do, Shiho.”

 

“You don’t need to.” Shiho consoled, pulling herself away, yet still remaining close to Ichika. “We’re not under attack, or fighting for our lives anymore. If you want to rest, then… I’ll pull some strings and get it into motion.”

 

“No, it-it’s fine,” Ichika wiped her tears with the back of her hand; “I…” she paused. “…Thank you for taking me in, Shiho.”

 

Shiho smiled, needing not a reply. Ichika already knew how much Shiho loved her, and vise versa. Nothing was going to change that.

 

Everything was going to be alright.

Notes:

Y’all do NOT rewatch Madoka mágica not realising you didn’t finish it and then cry yourself to sleep like me because holy shit MadoHomu is literally JayVic but Yuri edition and I have no idea how I didn’t finish it but now I can’t stop thinking about it (also didn’t get Homura in madoka exdra, hopefully one day she comes home)

Also, idk if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve never once used the word said after a character says something (like “Yeah,” she said, clinging to ect, ect…) because once my English teacher in like fifth grade told me to make an story without using the word said and did it multiple times, and now it’s hard wired into my system

Chapter 57

Notes:

For context, this canonically happens the day before the previous two chapters’ events

An insignificant locket laid dormant against the silken fingertips of the beholder, a gleam lost simply from the unbridled words beheld.

 

Shizuku looked at the chain once again, her office calm amidst the snow, her eyes weary as she fiddled with the small accessory – well, accessory wasn’t the only thing that the locket had under its belt.

“Lady Shizuku,” uttered a message, one sent from the unclasping of metal, used with daft care and desperation to weave through. “This is Ena. Ena Shinonome.”

 

Shizuku didn’t need to ponder the reason for such an official to be contacting her. After all, she had already been speaking to the elusive mage heir for a week’s worth of time.

 

“Miss Shinonome,” Shizuku replied, wielding a smile at the recipient. “I’m surprised you’re still awake,” Shizuku let out a tired yawn, “Ah, here I am, all sleepy when I should be focussing on this call,”

 

“I-I know this is a bit sudden,” the heiress contorted in a rushed manner, “But I need to know what happened during the coronation.”

 

Shizuku paused, unaware of how to approach the situation.

 

“…” A sigh emitted from the brunette, the noice compressed on the other end of the locket. “…have they waged war on me? On Shinonome?”

 

Again, Shizuku hesitated. “I…” she began, but her words remained unspoken, and her lips remained pursed.

 

“You don’t need to sugarcoat it, j-just tell me,” Ena huffed, trying to sound as neutral as she could, but her tone betrayed her mask.

 

“The last of Tenma’s army has rumours of war on our end, from the people taking refuge in my domain.” Shizuku elaborated. “I’m sorry, miss Shinonome… but I can’t say anything more.”

 

“Damnit,” The heiress uttered, despite her voice being faint and her tone being downcast.

 

Shizuku wanted to help her. To tell everyone she was contacting the princess of Shinonome.

 

But her people didn’t need war. They needed rest.

 

And Shii-Chan…

 

Shizuku shut her eyes preemptively, guarding the pain in her chest.

 

“I’m very sorry, miss Shinonome, but I…” Shizuku swallowed. “I have to go.”

 

Without missing a beat, Shizuku shut the locket and placed it back in its case, her knuckles tense with the slow realisation that everything was falling out of place.

 

“Shii-chan,” Shizuku whispered. She missed her sister. All she ever wanted was to let her rest after everything. But Shizuku… she had already made the promise, hadn’t she?

 

War was a cruel thing, wasn’t it? Shizuku never understood it. No matter how many hours she put into understanding it, learning what it meant, she still couldn’t figure out why war existed.

 

“Shizuku?” Entered the enterprise of Airi, who slowly clasped the handle of the door and made her way into Shizuku’s office.

 

“Airi-chan,” Shizuku uttered, unaware of what to say. She led her eyes downcast, her hands slidden to her sides, while she sunk in her thoughts like a stone falling through a body of water.

 

“You’re not thinking about that deal you made with the princess, are you?” Airi noticed, a distinguished scowl emphasising her concern. “Seriously, are they really trying to push it onto you?” Airi questioned, anticipating Shizuku’s response with a frown.

 

Shizuku let out a sigh, her eyes latching onto the star-woven skies. Skies blessed by the gods to keep everyone safe.

 

But reality would always weigh over.

 

“I don’t want to do this,” Shizuku whispered, her eyes grasping the box where her locket remained. “I… I don’t want Shiho to go out to war.”

 

“You haven’t told her, have you.” Airi realised. “…” the magenta-haired knight let out a sigh, her steps weighing on her mind as she contemplated.

 

“Don’t tell her.” Airi uttered, as if it was the only conclusion she could come up with. “Don’t lock in that promise, too. We can always forfeit.”

 

“But then…” Shizuku frowned, her hands pulled tense, her uniform tired from use. “Then both Shinonome and Tenma will topple.”

 

“Shizuku, Tenma’s already lost their prince. They’ve lost half of their army, too.” Airi elaborated. “Shinonome will only call for us if they really need it. We don’t need to bring in every soldier, either.”

 

Shizuku, although hesitant, nodded.

 

“I’m sorry… I’m such a mess, aren’t I?” Shizuku realised, letting out a small, tired chuckle at her expense.

 

“You go ahead and rest, Shizuku.” Airi proclaimed. “You’re not a mess, either. Go see your sister, I’ll handle everything from here. Okay?”

 

“Airi-chan, always responsible,” Shizuku smiled, but in such an exhausted state, she didn’t know if it was noticeable.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Airi hummed, taking a glance at the paperwork. “See you tomorrow, Shizuku.” She smiled.

 

“Goodnight, Airi.”

Chapter 58

Notes:

Finally getting back in the rhythm of writing a chapter a day, this’ll probably go back to my every-3-days schedule, but ey, more story to read!!

An abhorrent light. A piercing screech. A coat slung against the mage, tattered.

 

Battle.

 

Mages flocked to the scene, bloodied hands, Shinonomian clothes, and a prayer. Honami gripped the hood of her robes, her eyes narrow beneath the rubble.

 

Another battle. Another… battle.

 

She didn’t know how long it would take until she’d fall, but she did know that she was utterly exhausted.

 

But she couldn’t stop. She had to live, to continue this fruitless endeavour. For Saki. For Tenma.

 

For the only choice she had left.

 

“Mage Mochizuki!” Called out one of the soldiers amongst her fleet, rushing to her side las if to shield the rose-haired girl from some sort of danger.

 

“N-no, don’t get closer, you’ll hurt yourself!” Honami responded, the tips of her fingers tracing the soulDust.

 

The soldier backed away, but only one step was needed.

 

Honami traced her fingers against the sky, her eyes clear and shut. She inhaled, exhaled, and opened her mind. Her affinity. Her blood.

 

It didn’t matter how many magic-infused arrows there were. It didn’t even matter how many mages launched themselves at Honami. They’d all be dead soon, after all.

 

“Where is he.” Honami demanded, watching the colours of soulDust splatter into her, all while she absorbed any form of life from the mages. “Where… Is the prince.”

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Spat one of the mages, casting a form of spell to defend themselves. Honami tapped her fingers together, twisting the spell in on the mage.

 

Honami had dealt with countless mages, almost racking into the thousands. A couple more were nothing.

 

And there, laid the mage, dead.

 

“Tell me…” Honami begged, stepping closer to the group of mages. “Where have you kept him!?”

 

No response.

 

Honami let out a sigh, her body exhausted from the channeling. She let out a small cry in pain, her monochromatic world slowly fading into colour.

 

“I’m sorry,” Honami whispered. “But I have to.”

 

With the snap of her fingers, every mage, no matter if they were casting anything, dropped limp.

 

And so did Honami.

 

Her soldiers ran to her, each guarding her, as per the usual procedure. Honami knew that this was her last battle for today, despite the skies still bleeding with rays of sun.

 

“Sorry, everyone,” the rose-haired mage whispered, all while she pulled her hand to her chest. “I’ll have to head back.”

 

“We will follow your commands, Mage Mochizuki.” Uttered a soldier, giving Honami a look of admiration. “It’s the least we could do.”

 

“…Thank you, really,” Honami gave the soldiers a smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

 

Weakly, Honami stood up, gently pulling herself together despite the pain in her legs.

 

“Please don’t overexert yourself, Mage Mochizuki,” relied one of the soldiers. “The princess would be proud of you.”

 

…but she’s gone.

 

Tears built in Honami’s chest, but she buried every single tense feeling so deep that all she could do was exhale. Stop thinking about Saki. All that is left is Rin.

 

“Yeah.” Honami remarked, her words hollow. She doubled backwards, her eyes haunting as she looked back at her hands.

 

The tips of her fingers were purple, as were the consequences of using her affinity to such a degree. Her blood ran cold, almost like ice, filled to the brim with soulDust that she had absorbed. It was only a matter of time before her body became bioluminescent.

 

But now, she had to go back. Back to the false princess. Back to the burning crown that was Tenma.

 

Home.

 

…

 

Honami’s body grew used to stowing against the stairs of the jails, her home waning as she slowly made her way into the cell where Saki – or rather, what remained of Saki – resided.

 

“…Hona-chan?” Uttered a tone, distinct and “S-Saki?” Honami spluttered, her eyes wide. Had Rin allowed Saki to finally live? Was this… real?

 

“Hona-chan!” Saki exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Honami. “I finally get to see you! Rin-chan said that you were feeling down,” Saki uttered excitedly, “And those robes, they’re so cute! Did you make these yourself?”

 

“Y-yeah,” Honami replied, a small blush appearing on her face. “I… I’m so glad you’re back, Saki!”

 

“Hehe, it took a lot of convincing,” Saki smiled, pulling a finger to her lips. “Is there a way you could unchain me? These chains are super uncomfortable,”

 

“They won’t let me.” Honami sighed. “By ‘they’, I mean Tsukasa’s appointed successor, Akito.”

 

“Big brother… Is he…” Saki’s vision grew dim.

 

“He’s missing. But I’m trying to find him,” Honami looked down at her hands, at the one way she only knew how to find the missing prince. “We all are trying to find him. But… some of our people, they…” Honami swallowed. “They left.”

 

Saki gave Honami a hug once more. “You look so… sad, Hona-Chan.” Saki uttered.

 

“I…” Honami didn’t know how to respond. “Everything’s gone. I’m fighting for… nothing.” Honami uttered, her voice faint. “But I promised you that I’d protect this place. And I… I will, until there really is nothing left.”

 

“Hona-chan…” Saki uttered, her eyes dejected from Honami’s proclamation. “Don’t tell me you’re fighting for nothing. Please… you don’t have to fight for Tenma if you don’t want to.”

 

“Saki, my princess,” Honami shuffled in her feet. “I want to be useful.” She uttered. “I want to help you, to help us, to go back to when everything was peaceful.”

 

Honami blinked, noticing tears falling down her eyes. “But I’m not worthy.” She wiped a tear with the back of her hand, trying to avoid the pain in her throat. “And I… I have to do something for us.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Saki uttered. “I didn’t realise you felt that way.”

 

“It’s okay,” Honami responded, numbing the pain with a stern expression. “You’re still alive, and if Rin could let you be like this, even just for a minute… then Akito and the others will let you free. We could fight together, a-and-”

 

“…I’ll be free?” Saki questioned, her voice meek.

 

“They think you’re a-a monster. But if you show them that you’re still you, maybe we could restore Tenma back to how it was.”

 

“What is Akito currently planning? … Is there really a chance?” Saki asked, hope filling her tone, all while her smile painted with whimsy continued to gleam.

 

“He… he wants to stay as far away from Shinonome. I know that they’ve stolen Tsukasa. But if you’re able to prove you’re still you, then… we can get him back.” Honami elaborated. She had planned this out for weeks, tirelessly pitching it to the acting king, Akito. And now, maybe, it could work.

 

Oh, how Honami missed Saki’s smile. That glorious, empathetic, joyful expression that toyed with Honami’s heartstrings.

 

“Then Honami,” Saki uttered. “Why don’t you go try it out?”

 

“Yes, of course.” Honami nodded. “I’m sorry that I have to leave so soon, but I’ll be back.”

 

Honami, without missing a beat, left the cells, climbing up the stairs with haste.

 

She had to go get Akito. She had to free Saki.

 

Honami couldn’t contain her hopefulness that flooded her veins, the realisation that Saki would finally be able to take the crown and live. Would Rin be proud? Would she let Saki use her newly awakened body more often? Honami couldn’t stop thinking about it, and despite her exhaustion, she could still feel the surge of energy in her bones.

 

“King Akito,” Honami exclaimed, rushing to the meeting room, her eyes wide, all while her burgundy robes swayed outwards, trudging through the wind.

 

“Honami?” The acting king scowled, his olive eyes belated in a furrow, all while his confusion continued to wrap around him like a vine.

 

“It’s Saki,” Honami uttered hastily, “She’s back to her normal self.”

 

The ginger-haired acting king’s eyes widened, his steps becoming swift as he trailed towards Honami. “Are you sure?” He questioned.

 

“Her affinity is apparently a new person who can switch in and out with Saki’s command!” Honami stated. “Both of them agreed to stay tame in exchange for freedom.”

 

Akito nodded, as if he knew what was going on himself. “I’ve researched cases like that, and if that has happened to the princess, then I have a deal I’d like to make.”

 

“A deal?” Honami queried, all while keeping up with the acting king, watching as he stepped his way down the stairs.

 

“Yeah. Something along the lines of only Saki can make orders.”

 

Honami nodded, her excitement unable to be contained with her grin plastered to her face.

 

“She’s gonna be Queen, isn’t she?” Honami smiled.

 

“Well, yeah.” Akito confirmed. “That’s usually the case with these things.”

 

Honami knew that she was asking baseless questions, but she still wanted to hear it. Finally, had everything finally come into place? Is Saki going to be free? Honami thought, all while watching Akito slowly approach Saki’s cell.

 

Honami decided to stay back, hoping not to be liable for any biases. Also, because this was strict business, and quite confidential.

 

“Please,” Honami whispered, pulling her hands together, praying to the gods. “Please, let Saki be free.” She continued. “Goddess Meiko, please…”

 

The sound of metal slowly being unravelled caused Honami’s heart to jump.

 

Was this… it? Was everything she was fighting for… worth it?

 

Honami took a step forward, her distinguished hat slumping down to her chest, with her hands holding onto the headdress tight.

 

Next, was footsteps. Honami could feel herself holding her breath, her grip on her hat tightening. She could hear it, sending her heart into a flurry.

 

“I’m ready,” Honami whispered. “Saki…” she took another step forward, hoping that she’d see the princess, able to finally live.

 

Honami tumbled backwards by a sudden weight latching onto her torso, the sounds of flurried laughter piercing her ears.

 

And the perpetrator?

 

Saki Tenma.

 

“You’re free!” Honami exclaimed, pulling herself upright with unapologetic glee. “Saki-chan, we did it!”

 

“Thank you!” Saki responded, pulling tighter on Honami’s waist. “Thank you so so much! Ah, I’m so happy I could scream! Eek!”

 

Saki let go of Honami, but not without grabbing back onto her wrist and dragging her up the stairs. “Let’s go to my room, I have so much I need to tell you!”

 

“You’re making me dizzy, Saki,” Honami responded, watching the corridors blur from one another.

 

“Oh, right,” Saki realised, slowing down her pace. “I’m so sorry, I’m just super excited!”

 

“It’s okay, Saki-chan.” Honami smiled. “I have a lot to tell you too.”

 

The two swayed through each corridor until they reached Saki’s room, where the princess forgot about her horns and almost tipped herself over from the doorframe. Honami let out a small chuckle, with Saki responding with a sheepish look.

 

“Alrighty, miss Honami,” Saki professed, pulling a hand to her chest. “I, as the queen, request that you come into my room.”

 

Honami, realising she hadn’t stepped though the doorframe, made her way in. “Of course, Queen Saki.” The mage bowed.

 

“Hehe, you’re so adorable when you act all professional,” Saki grinned, hopping onto her bed without a thought in the world.

 

“Come on over here,” Saki uttered, patting the spot where she wanted Honami to be. Honami slid herself on the bed after taking off her shoes, sliding the door closed.

 

“So, Saki-chan, what did you want to tell me?”

Notes:

*checks planning notes* why did I write this so early?

*me, knowing full well it’s because it’s the last part of the book and I’ll be switching povs every two minutes* oh yeah it’s better here

Chapter 59

Notes:

It's easter where i am and i'm so over socializing so i wrote this entire chapter in one sitting to get out of speaking to people

“So you’re saying…” clicked a stern tone, curious yet uncertain. “…that you worked as one of those ‘dark mages’?”

 

Shiho swallowed, but all she could do was nod. “I am the only one who can give you the information we need.” Shiho bartered. “What, you think I’d lie about something like this?”

 

“Of course not.” Responded Mr Yoisaki, his grey hairs washing against his exhausted features. “You are one of our most respected officials.”

 

“…” Shiho wasn’t used to the other council members showing such understanding for her claims. It wasn’t normal.

 

“Shiho, is there anything you can tell us about those mages’ whereabouts?” Asked Airi, promoting Shiho to respond.

 

“An resides in the southeast of Shinonome.” Shiho pointed to the area on the map, which was spread out on the table distinctly. She traced a circle around where the underground labyrinth would be, making sure to utilise the cartography affinity that Airi had to zoom into the semi-holographic map.

 

“It’s the oldest labyrinth of all Shinonome. It’s so heavily guarded that even if you took a wrong step, you’d be murdered. I… I used to be one of the guards stationed there.”

 

A silence overtook the group of people, with Ichika stepping in front. “Is the entrance… cursed?”

 

“…I don’t know how to explain it,” Shiho hissed, looking back at her hands. “It’s like a scanner, but instead of scanning what is physical, it seals some kind of… thing.”

 

“It’s too risky.” Uttered the Ayoagi heir, Toya, who looked dejected at the prospect. “We don’t need to fight them. Not when they haven’t shown any aggression.”

 

“As Toya said,” Shiho began, straightening her posture. “We will not go anywhere near them.”

 

“Why?” Airi’s brow furrowed. “They waged a whole war on us. You were there!”

 

“You don’t know anything about them, though.” Shiho spat back. “Do you know what an awakened mage is, Momoi?”

 

The magenta-haired general faltered, taking a step back at Shiho’s proclamation. “A… what?”

 

“You know how Sa- the princess transformed into that semi-human thing?” Shiho watched carefully as Airi nodded, “That’s an awakened mage.”

 

“Why is this important?” Airi quipped.

 

“Because every single dark mage in that faction, in this labyrinth, is awakened.” Shiho answered.

 

The silence was thick in the meeting, with the officials’ expressions warping with each second passed. Shiho stepped away from the table, from the map, and made her way to Ichika’s side.

 

“Shiho, if what you’re saying is true,” Toya stepped up, approaching Shiho carefully. “Then why are you with us?”

 

Shiho’s fists grew tense, her eyes blotched.

 

Shiho remembered the dust, the way the world doused itself in blood. She remembered the agonising jolts in her legs, her steps guiding herself through the masses of maniacs, the hooded monstrosity of humanity.

 

She could hear the rambled shouts, the way people shoved her aside, despite her still wearing the decoy uniform she wore in Tenma.

 

Shiho remembered the fall, the way the explosion set her to the ground, the way her ears bled out. She thought it was all fruitless, knowing she had no home left.

 

Until, finally, her eyes reached Shizuku.

 

Shiho remembered how all the pain inside her faded and numbed, the way she ran without a single care over to her sister, after all those years.

 

Of course she knew why she was in the alliance.

 

“Because sis was alive.” Shiho answered, pulling her hand to her chest. “Because I had family left that those monsters didn’t slaughter.”

 

“But because I left… they cursed me to never be able to use my affinities ever again.”

 

Ichika looked back at Shiho, wide-eyed. “B-but then… how did you use those tomes when you were teaching me?” She questioned, stumbling on her words in the process.

 

“Everyone can use tomes for spellcasting,” Airi explained. “Affinities are more raw, more natural in essence.”

 

Ichika looked back at everyone, noticing their neutral expressions.

 

“D-did all of you know this?” She asked, a scowl playing on her complexion.

 

“No.” Airi professed. “But we all knew that Shiho didn’t like using her affinity. …It doesn’t affect us like it would in Shinonome.”

 

Ichika, still sceptical, backed down from any further interrogation. It made sense that everyone wouldn’t find some kind of ‘curse’ such a big deal. It’s not that Shiho had much reason to use her affinities, after all.

 

 “So…” Ichika looked out at the map. “What are we doing now?”

 

Maybe it was the urgency, or the slow way she trembled. Maybe it was the uncertainty weighing her, the change from being on the run for years.

 

Whatever it was, Shiho didn’t want to see Ichika like this. She placed a firm hand on Ichika’s shoulder, noticing the way she jolted away.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho uttered. The word became so familiar against her lips. “You don’t need to be worried anymore.”

 

“We’re planning,” Toya interjected, hoping that it would also comfort Ichika. “Recounting our losses, compiling information.”

 

“Y-yeah…” Ichika nodded her head, but it didn’t seem like she wanted that answer. Maybe it was the slow mentioning of Shiho that made her so confused – the way everything was laid out. Or maybe the monotony of it all.

 

“I get you’ve just killed the princess, Hoshino,” Interrupted the noise of one of the quieter officials, her green hair swaying with her steps. “But being freaked out about… whatever… it seems strange.”

 

“What did you call her?” Shiho deadpanned, earning a small squeal from Nene.

 

“Let’s go back to these mages,” Airi retorted, noticing how the room became. “What else do you know about them?”

 

Shiho cleared her throat, racking her mind. What did Miu tell me? She wondered. Something about… consciousness, right?

 

“Awakened mages can only appear in people whose affinities are separate people from themselves. Sentient affinities, if you will.”

 

“How do they know that their affinities are sentient?” Asked Toya.

 

“…” Shiho paused. “I don’t know the specifics, but for some people, their affinities take over their bodies and force them to let out a-a spur of energy.”

 

“That’s what Saki…” Ichika realised, swallowing her surprise with a nod. “That’s why the princess was able to ascend.”

 

Think, Shiho! Think! Shiho’s mind howled, trying to find something of worth.

 

“O-oh, yeah, awakened mages can also sense each other, like a link.” Shiho answered. “They, uh…” Shiho blanked, her thoughts running thin.

 

“They what?” Nene quipped. “Don’t make us wait. This is vital, Hinomori.”

 

“They’re… immortal.” Shiho answered.

 

“So they are like… gods?” Toya questioned. “If they can’t be killed, then why are they not risking everything?”

 

“They can be killed.” Shiho corrected. “Very easily, too. They just can’t die of disease and natural causes, making their lifespans as long as they wish to.”

 

“So, in conclusion, we’re fucked.” Nene sighed, a strand of her hair dangling against her fingers. “Cause there’s no way we can fight them.”

 

“That’s why we have to be careful and stay put.” Shiho uttered.

 

“Guess this meeting was… something.” Airi sighed, brushing her fingers against her hair. “Does anyone have anything to say, or is the meeting adjourned?”

 

“So, no dark mage hunting?” Ichika questioned, earning a nod from Airi. “Yeah, we need to figure out a new plan. But in the meantime, we should return to our posts.”

 

“I will return the information to my father,” Toya bowed. “Thank you for your service, Hinomori Shiho.”

 

“I’ll go back to Shizuku.” Airi informed. “Kusunagi, are you able to watch over the new members from Tenma?”

 

“On it.” Nene nodded, sliding from the shadowed corner and out towards where she was needed.

 

“You two, are you able to compile any more info about these new mages?” Airi requested. “Now that we’ve learnt about what happened… honestly, it’s kinda crazy thinking about it.”

 

“I… I guess that’s how things work.” Shiho sighed. “I’m still the same person, Airi.”

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure that anyone who tries to defame you will get the blunt end of my fist.” Airi grinned. “…My question is, did Shizuku know that you used to be apart of… them?”

 

“She watched as they took me away.” Shiho closed her eyes, letting out a long exhale. “And then, she brought me back here, and promised not to tell anyone else.”

 

“Damn, didn’t realise she had it in her.” Airi uttered, surprised. “I… I should probably go see her now, and leave you two lovebirds,”

 

“Huh?” Ichika gasped, “…You know?”

 

“Shiho told me when we broke her out.” Airi confirmed, “I’m happy for you two.”

 

Ichika blushed, looking back at Shiho. “I…” Shiho spluttered, “Y-yeah I… let’s go.”

 

“Alright,” Ichika nodded, following Shiho, but not without wishing Airi goodbye. “See you, Momoi-senpai,” Ichika exclaimed, with the two finally leaving the meeting room.

 

“So, Ichika,” Shiho began, holding onto Ichika’s hand. “Do you want to tell Shizuku now?”

 

“Sure.”

Notes:

Nene: Hides in a corner. Says something sassy between the meeting. leaves.

She was my favorite part of the meeting ngl

Chapter 60

Notes:

Lmao this chapter took like a week cause i was lazy, my bad

It was a tired night – bleak, encapsulated in snowy plains and fruitless plans. Ichika wiped her tired eyes with her hand, finally getting used to her amputated arm not being by her side.

 

She sat down against the couch, her eyes flickering at her tome book while Shiho slid her way next to the cushions, her eyes on the fireplace.

 

It was calm, finally being able to live like this. Ichika found every moment she spent in the alliance somehow so normal, as if she was born there.

 

Ichika flicked through one of the pages, scanning it carefully. She already learnt most of the self-defence spells as of late, and having spent some time learning the utility spells, she’d say she had grasped most of the important things.

 

“How did the meeting go?” Shizuku asked, arriving diligently, her coat – which was now hung up near the doorframe – collecting fragments of snow with her entrance.

 

“I told them,” Shiho began, letting out a sigh. “Ayoagi brought up something to do with invading the dark mages, so I gave him as much info I could.”

 

“Minister Ayoagi, or Toya?” Shizuku responded, making her way into the main room where the fireplace resided. “Ooh, it’s warm,” Shizuku noted to herself as she stepped through.

 

”Toya. He didn’t seem to know much about the situation.” Shiho rubbed her hands together. “He was probably filling in for his dad, even though he was the one appointed in the first place…”

 

“He’s such a wonderful person,” Shizuku smiled. “I would’ve loved to say hello to him.” She reminisced.

 

“So, aside from Toya-kun, what else did you speak about?” Shizuku prodded.

 

“We didn’t say anything after that,” Ichika spoke up, slowly closing her tome to join in on the conversation. Aside from… Nene’s comment, Ichika recalled, if uncomfortably so.

 

Every time Ichika saw Nene, there was always that image of the child on the deathbed slowly succumbing to death. It didn’t matter where Ichika saw the green-haired girl, it always led to that outcome.

 

“How about you, Sis? How was your day?” Shiho asked, sending Ichika back to reality from her utterly exhausted mind.

 

“We had to decline a couple of people,” Shizuku sighed before continuing; “but Airi-Chan helped me out. …I felt bad rejecting all those innocent people, all while caring for their families.”

 

“How about the assassins?” Shiho prompted. “Was there any attacks?”

 

“Not many…” Shizuku sighed, sliding her gloves on. “But there was one that claimed that the princess was free.”

 

Ichika’s hand grew cold. Her body ached with agony, as if she were stabbed. Tremors launched onto her body, prickling her with a cold sweat that she couldn’t escape from.

 

Saki’s free.

 

And she’s gonna kill me.

 

“It’s a rumour.” Shiho spat out, almost instantaneously so. “No way in hell would she be freed. Surely they’d know what happened when she ascended,”

 

Ichika felt a pain in her throat wrap against her. Was she… hunting Ichika down? Was all this peace for nothing?

 

“Ichika?” Shiho looked over. Ichika was shaking, her body curled in on itself. She had no idea how she looked, but judging by Shiho’s reaction, it wasn’t good at all.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho uttered, concern spreading through every inch of her expression, her hands reaching out to Ichika’s, but it didn’t do much to quell the shaking.

 

Ichika couldn’t speak. Her words ran from her throat, but she couldn’t shout. She couldn’t even think right.

 

It was horrifying. She looked back at her arm where her hand was supposed to be. That hand was used to kill Saki. To kill people. To push further and further into someone’s organs that they’d lay limp, dead by her side.

 

And now, she’d have to face all of it.

 

She’d watch Saki destroy everything.

 

“She’s coming for me,” Ichika hissed uncomfortably, her eyes clasped shut. It felt horrible. She wanted to face it. She wanted to overcome this feeling, to show herself she wasn’t weak anymore.

 

But she wasn’t strong enough. She was afraid and scared.

 

“She isn’t,” Shiho grounded Ichika’s worries, her voice firm. “I won’t let her.”

 

“I’m… sorry…” Ichika whispered, her voice thin. She couldn’t breathe. Everyone around her slowly sunk in her mind. She felt like her body was capsizing, falling deeper and deeper into an ocean she would never be able to swim out of.

 

“Ichika, don’t let her do this to you,” Shiho began, but every time she spoke, Ichika couldn’t grasp into her words. She couldn’t hear them, no matter how much she wanted to.

 

Why would this always happen? Why would she freeze and feel so horrible? Why would her mind trick her into this kind of pain?

 

 

“I love you.” Shiho’s words were careful. She rested her hand on Ichika’s thigh, her head bowed downwards.

 

Ichika could feel herself relax. The way Shiho cared so much, the way her words would soften with Ichika, the way she smiled oh so perfectly.

 

Shiho would never let Saki hurt Ichika.

 

“…huh?” Shizuku turned her head towards Shiho. Surprise littered across the older girl’s face, but Shiho didn’t turn away in embarrassment.

 

“Sis, Ichika and I…” Shiho began, but she couldn’t figure out the words. “We love each other.”

 

Shizuku let out a distinct squeal of excitement, looking back and forth at the pair. “Shii-chan, you’ve finally found someone!” She grinned, hugging her sister so infamously tightly that Shiho strained to get out of Shizuku’s grasp.

 

“Sis, it’s not that big of a deal,” Shiho huffed out, her face bright red, pigmented and overwhelmed with embarrassment. “Seriously, no one really needs to-”

 

“-I need to tell Airi-chan about this,” Shizuku uttered amazedly, “She’d be so proud!”

 

“Momoi already knows,” Ichika stepped in.

 

“Airi-chan tends to know all about these things, doesn’t she?” Shizuku marvelled, all the while clasping her hands together and humming in support. “So, tell me everything! How did you two meet?”

 

“…” Shiho looked back at Ichika wearily, unsure of what to say. So, Ichika decided to answer for her. “We met when Shiho came over to Tenma, when I was acting as the sworn sword for the princess.”

 

“Ah, right! You did tell me this,” Shizuku noted, nodding her head. “Who confessed first?”

 

“I did,” Ichika weakly raised her offhand, giving off a sheepish smile. “It was when we were leaving Tenma, in this inn. Shiho had a nightmare, and I…” Ichika filled in.

 

“That’s so romantic!” Shizuku pulled her hands together, awe-eyed and proud.

 

“So that’s why you stressed so much about Shii-chan, Ichika,” Shizuku realised. “Shii-chan is so lucky to have a person like you.”

 

“I’d actually say the opposite,” Ichika admitted, earning a surprised gaze from Shiho in the process. “She… saved my life, and helped me even when I didn’t deserve it.”

 

“I was just doing what anyone else would do.” Shiho uttered, but Ichika shook her head. “No one would put such an effort in for some random person, Shiho. But you… you did.”

 

“I, uh…” Shiho began, but embarrassment propped through her face, her skin bright red, her eyes glancing down at her lap.

 

“So, you two, why don’t you have a date tomorrow?”

 

Ichika’s eyes latched onto Shizuku in surprise.

 

“A date?” Shiho began, just as surprised as the mage next to her. “Surely that’s something we can do, but we’re both officials,”

 

“don’t worry about work, I’ll see if Airi can help out with that.” Shizuku grinned. “What does matter is that you two can go on your first ever date!”

 

“When, though?” Shiho scowled. “And what will we be doing?”

 

“I’ll set it all up tomorrow,” Shizuku responded. “Just you see!”

 

A date. Ichika mused. Maybe it won’t be too bad.

Notes:

WHY WONT THE MIKU MOVIE RELEASE IN MY THEATRES BRO...... WHY DO US AUZZIES ALWAYS GET THE LAST PICKINGS

Chapter 61

Notes:

If you know me, I love reverse 1999. If you didn't know, R1999 had its 2.8 livestream. And one of the new characters, Nautica, looked suspiciously like an awakened mage.

So, take a wild guess what this chapter is :)

An encroached hand latched against the side of the room, a person befitting of her title looming within the small box-like space, droving herself in flames.

 

“Kohane,” An whined, peering through the entrance, shadows coaxing her face. “Why don’t you come out and do something fun?” The blue-haired girl queried.

 

“No.” Kohane whispered. She looked out from the cave, from her room encased in obsidian and mirror-like substances. “…I want to r-rest,” She murmured, hoping that An didn’t think she was mad. Kohane was just tired after a long day of fighting her affinity for control.

 

It was like a cycle. Fighting to exist. Fighting to respond, to react. But Kohane continued to go for it. Continued. Continued. Continued.

 

“Hey, how ‘bout I talk to your other half?” An asked, twirling with one of the chains connected to her hair. “Don’t want my partner all stressed out,” She added with a proud smile.

 

Kohane trailed her metallic limbs over to her bed, lying on it carefully, her sheep-like ears swivelled downwards. She retracted her claws, trying to focus, but her body felt far too exhausted to do anything.

 

“An-chan…” Kohane sighed. “You really don’t have to, I can easily handle it myself…” She pouted.

 

An made her way inside the room, her view now covering the walls from the mirrored shards. “How about,” An placed a hand on her hip, “I do this for you, and you can get my serving of food today?”

 

Kohane piqued up, her eyes surprised. “But isn’t today your favourite?” She asked. “We hunted it ourselves, too! S-surely you should…”

 

The blue-haired girl pulled a finger to her chin. “I wouldn’t mind if it meant helping my bestie.”

 

Kohane looked back at An. “I-if you do it, then you do get to eat it. I don’t want to take anything from you, An-chan,” Kohane reaffirmed.

 

“Deal.” An grinned, her fangs sticking out of her teeth, her bright eyes embellishing her glee. She sat down against Kohane’s mattress, her gaze hung low as she prepared herself. “I’m ready when you are.” An affirmed.

 

Kohane closed her eyes, separating herself from her body, letting the drowning sensation wrap against her, as if she were being pulled down.

 

Kohane’s affinity was… different than most. She presumed that it was because of how affinities were formed: through someone’s ideals and motives, an affinity would be formed. But Kohane’s affinity was more-or-so born from a lack of these things blossoming into… something.

 

Unlike regular affinities, Kohane’s didn’t have a consciousness. It was instinct based – it couldn’t be reasoned with. However, An constantly knew how to deal with it.

 

Kohane struggled to breathe, the atmosphere of losing her body and will slowly eroding her. It was like molten metal had latched onto her uncomfortably, like her eyes had been gouged and her senses had been forfeited.

 

“I’m not like you.” Uttered the tone of someone she had recently duelled with. Someone who she was supposed to welcome.

 

Was her greyed hair and her humanity taunting Kohane? Was she born just to watch someone who was born to ascend reject her fate outright?

 

Kohane stumbled, her metal fingers reaching, her trembling hooved footsteps trudging, diving, spitting in the face of purity.

 

“I… will never be like you.”

 

“Shiho,” Kohane rasped. Her mind played this moment again, watching as the human’s measly sword cut through her mutated flesh. “Why do you… resist?” Kohane frowned, her scowl buried against the bubbling metal that hid her away. “You’re a friend! We would never have attacked you if you never left!”

 

But this wasn’t the real Shiho. This was her affinity laughing at her, making projections of her failures. Of how she had to leave people she used to admire.

 

“You’ll lose it.” Uttered Kohane’s affinity, speaking mangled words without a care. “You’ll lose your mind. You’ll be known as a-”

 

Kohane felt herself being driven deeper into the abyss, drowning, watching the fire get further away from her.

 

“I want to be a legend,” Kohane professed. “But if you want to take that from me,” she argued, only to shut her tongue.

 

It’s worthless, this endeavour. Kohane knew as much. An was already doing what Kohane needed to survive. Battling the beast, severing Kohane’s throat to build her back together.

 

But Kohane wasn’t one to stress. She knew who she was, what she wanted to be. She was willing to do anything to get this dream of hers, one she shared with An.

 

To exist alongside everyone.

 

Kohane closed her eyes and dove once more, her body encapsulated against the water, her eyes closed as the metallic surfaces of her body began to wear away. Her body, her senses, were withering away like rain falling onto the ground.

 

She trusted An-chan. She trusted everyone. She knew that she didn’t need to worry anymore, or admire from afar.

 

She would be the object of their admiration, the legend who brought the mages back into the world as regular people.

 

An wanted that. Kohane wanted that. That’s what Shiho wanted back then, too. Back when everything was simpler.

 

But Kohane had changed. She was stronger, able to live within the life she actually wanted to fulfil. Even if she had to put in twice, if not three times the effort to do so. Because she was the demon that everyone would adore.

 

“Ko…” A shrill, careful voice, hiding amongst the sea.

 

“Kohane…” Once more, it echoed at the seafloor, rising above the current.

 

Kohane knew who this was.

 

Her eyes snapped open, her body falling against the chair she was sitting at, her weight collapsing beneath the pressure. She could feel the metallic binds curl against her hands, forming her claws and her legs from the gaping, metal binding that her affinity coursed.

 

“Easy there, Kohane!” An made her way over, wiping off a bead of sweat from her brow. “You were really fighting in there, your affinity was really glad to wake up,” the blue-haired demoness sighed.

 

“An-chan, don’t overexert yourself,” Kohane exclaimed, noticing the small tears in An’s clothes – or rather, her gradient-washed, mutated skin and metal.

 

“Don’t worry,” She smiled, dusting off her torso, causing the chains connected to her figure to jingle. “It was a piece of cake.”

 

“B-but you’re hurt.” Kohane uttered, her eyebrows flexed in shame.

 

“To be fair,” An began, shrugging her shoulders in tandem, “I did want to do it. Besides, it was easy, you’d be surprised how similar your affinity is to you when we first met!”

 

“…Those marks tell a different story.” Kohane whispered beneath her breath. “But what do you mean about my affinity?” Kohane pressed.

 

“Don’t you worry your cute little head about it,” An rustled Kohane’s hair, her grin confident. “How about we meet up with the new recruits, eh?”

 

Kohane’s gaze perked up, her eyebrows raised in surprise. “They’re finally here…?” The blonde blinked her eyes, her sheep-like ears curving towards An to hear what she was saying clearer.

 

“Yup! …one of them has a general affinity, but after what the princess did, the division said that they could be brought in. I’ve heard that they work together and made their own spell-casting system,” An beamed.

 

“What’s their names?” Kohane asked meekly, finding that her curiosity did, in fact, find such new recruits intriguing.

 

“Dunno,” An shrugged. “But since we’re awakened, maybe we’ll get special privilege to meet ‘em.”

 

Kohane doubted that she’d meet the new recruits, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try finding them with An. She’d follow her partner no matter where they were heading.

 

The two left Kohane’s chambers, with some of the awakened mages passing by. Most awakened mages were sullied, monotone colours, but not Kohane. Her structure was a bright magenta coaxing her like a metal, her eyes transitioning from a casual grey to a deep pink colour that pigmented her eyelashes. Kohane was a special kind – one that’d draw several eyes onto her no matter how many people there were.

 

“Azusawa.” Steadied an awakened mage, approaching both An and Kohane. The mage wore a cape that hid mangled bat wings against their waist, and their eyes were covered by thorns that propped against their face. “The division would like to speak with you.”

 

“Huh?” Kohane’s eyes widened. “Why me?” She questioned.

 

“A new job has been given to you.” The mage looked over at An, noticing her confusion. “You too will be in this job, Shiraishi.”

 

The mage handed a small pamphlet to Kohane, a note hidden by small syllables written as a signature by the division.

 

Kohane looked at the note, slowly opening it up, hoping her claws wouldn’t tare the paper. Her eyes grazed the words, the ink, the lettering. She knew what this meant.

 

“The division wants us to fight,” Kohane informed An, giving the note a second read.

 

“And we’ll be the commanders.”

Notes:

I'm having too much fun describing these awakened mages

Chapter 62

Notes:

DO NOT play madoka magica exdra's mermaid witch on nightmare mode, have four coffees in your system, and listen to epic the musical. i've just had the worst crashout that I've bruised my thigh and now it hurts like hell 😭😭 I decided to write to cool off and now i'm on the verge of tears from this stupid crashout and after writing this WHY DID I DO THIS BRO??

Darkness enshrouded the princess, her soft locks falling to her sides as her horns slowly dissolved amongst the shadow-born pathways of her inner workings.

 

Tomorrow was the day. The day the final meeting of the war would be revealed. The day she’d make her decision to watch the world unfurl.

 

War. The stench of blood. The world’s rebirth.

 

The skies, pouring with water.

 

…That’s what this world needs, right? That’s what this endless darkness needed to peel away from…

 

Right?

 

Saki knew this.

 

She didn’t want any more tragedy.

 

She didn’t want this sudden responsibility, either.

 

She wanted…

 

War.

 

War, for peace.

 

War, for…

 

For…

 

Was the trembling enough for her body? Was she willing to break, even for a fraction of reality?

 

Had her heart finally turned cold, like Shiho told her it would? Was she nothing more than the mortified monster, belittling all who stood in her way?

 

Curtains drafted like shields. Bedding to protect the outer rim that was nature. Clothes sewn together, built by status and labour.

 

“War…” Saki had declared it. She made it real. She sew it with the needle of authority and burnt the world with her destruction.

 

Rin told her that it was a worthy flood. A flood needed to wake everyone from the world.

 

A war, able to free everyone from tragedy.

 

Then why was it so hard to admit it? Was it because of… them?

 

Ichika. Her most sworn ally.

 

Shiho, a friend who avenged another through justice.

 

She was hunting them.

 

She was hurting people who did nothing-

 

Maybe in another timeline.

 

Hah…

 

Was it all inevitable?

 

Ichika killed her, skewering her heart to pieces.

 

Shiho led an army to her kingdom, tearing away what was left of her.

 

And Tsukasa…

 

“Don’t you remember, Saki?” Uttered Rin’s voice, her figure approaching Saki as Saki roamed her ‘dreamscape’, the border between her blood.

 

“I…” Saki felt her body convulge. The senselessness, the numbed whimper her lips trembled out.

 

“I killed him.” She bit back a sob. “And they all… they all don’t know.”

 

Rin’s eyes closed, her face slowly blending into something akin to contentment.

 

“When I was first blessed your mind, I didn’t notice how similar we are.” Rin grinned, if weakly.

 

“You know…” Rin turned to her side, her eyes gazing out at nothingness. “I too killed my brother.”

 

Saki gripped her chest, her eyes shutting out the pain.

 

“But I didn’t mean to,” She sobbed. “I didn’t mean to!”

 

Rin turned back around, her honeyed hair flowing as if it were underwater.

 

“Let me tell you a… story.” Rin offered.

 

Saki didn’t reply, only wiping the tears off of her face.

 

“Back, when I used to live,” Rin began, wrapping her hands around Saki’s. “there was no weather, no water, no… world.”

 

“There were no emotions, not until a visitor came.” She continued, allowing a smile to pass her face, adjusting her posture to seem taller.

 

“There was no knowledge, until another.” Rin pulled her hands to her chest, a solemn mimicry of a unique expression washing against her.

 

“There was no love, until a third guest.” Rin trailed her hand down to her hair and ran her fingers through it all the way down, even when there wasn’t hair to comb.

 

“And there were no seasons, until my brother.” She grinned, turning back to Saki, giving the princess her attention.

 

“But… how?” Saki frowned. “How would people coming to Imperia suddenly bring ‘the world’?”

 

“Hehe,” Rin’s laughter fluttered bittersweetly. “You know… there was one final person. Take a guess, what do you think they brought?”

 

Saki didn’t know what any of this meant. She took a moment, trying to figure out what any of this meant.

 

“Did they bring time? Or… light?”

 

Rin’s eyes sparked up, her smile widening once the final word came out of Saki’s mouth.

 

“Yup, this visitor, who tied everything together, brought the light and the skies!”

 

“And I…” Rin closed her eyes, letting shadows cast against her figure until nothing was able to be seen.

 

“Brought the weather.”

 

Rin’s body changed from a mimic of Saki’s form into something… different. A form so familiar, yet so different.

 

That was, until it clicked.

 

“Goddess Rin,” Saki bowed, unable to formulate any kind of sentence. “I-I didn’t know that the name resemblance was also-”

 

“Hehe, don’t thank me, but do you want to learn the real history?” Rin interjected, stopping Saki’s babbling with an offer.

 

“Do you…” Rin’s smile faded, if only subtly. “Want to see what really happened between Len and I?”

 

Saki could only stare.

 

“Rin, you…” Saki’s lips pursed. “You’re a goddess. And my brother, he’s a human.”

 

“So was mine.” Rin responded.

 

“Len was a human?” Saki blinked. “No, he…”

 

“Princess Saki,” Rin took a step forward, gazing at the blonde. “We both aren’t human, while our family… are.”

 

“Also, just so you know,” Rin teased, “We are also both experiments from humans.”

 

My fate.

 

My… fate.

 

Princess Saki, a creation born from sacrifice. The sacrifice of creating a deep-woven history that would be sealed forever.

 

Princess Saki, the sub-human, created through the injection of magic. The child reborn to ascend, to slay all those who stood in her way.

 

Saki was never ‘human’.

 

She was a… deal, from the dark mages.

 

A deal to remove the curse.

 

A deal… to keep the Tenma Kingdom.

 

A sacrifice.

 

“I don’t want to be this,” Saki looked at Rin. “You too feel it, don’t you?”

 

Rin nodded.

 

“I was the creation of my brother’s death.” She elaborated. “And my brother, I… I watched him try and survive,” She bit her lip.

 

“But it was me who pushed him, so that I… could live.”

 

Tears prickled the god’s face.

 

“…It’s selfish, isn’t it?” Rin’s words began to choke out. “Selfish to realise your life was born of death.”

 

Tears leaped from Rin’s complexion, her body trembling admitting all of this.

 

Saki hugged the god, embracing the figure before her.

 

“No, I don’t deserve this,” Rin sniffled out, but despite her protests, she held on.

 

“I don’t want you to cry,” Saki admitted. “Because I know this feeling, I know it,”

 

“Saki,” Rin smiled. “You’re like a daughter to me.” The goddess’s tears stopped, a gentle smile propping against her face.

 

“This war you want,” Rin began, holding her breath as she admitted, “It would mean that you’ll be able to stop people like us from existing,”

“Then… no more suffering?”

 

“No more suffering. No more… death.” Rin smiled. “That’s what Miku wants, what we all want. And then, I can see my brother again.”

 

“Then…” Saki held her hand to her chest.

 

“I’ll do this, for everyone.”

 

Saki knew that this was what she wanted now.

 

She wanted everyone to be safe, after everything.

 

“Let’s do this, princess.”

Notes:

I have not proof read this. This chapter wasn't even supposed to exist. It only existed because i had that damned crashout so if you're sad then at least we can share the pain bro OH SHIT MY HOMEWORK

Chapter 63

Notes:

Y'all im so sorry for this lazy ass upload my bad

Snow piled against the roofs of the alliance, the wind harsh as Shiho wrapped herself inside her scarf. She adjusted the positioning of her brooch as so no one could see it, since it was the only thing that linked her back to her status. Aside from those who would partake in meetings alongside her, the appearance of the leading commander was usually hidden from view.

 

The same could easily be said for Ichika. She fit in easily as another person amongst the crowd, acting humble and wearing regular clothes daily – even to meetings. Maybe the only thing that would cause her to get spotted was her sightings with Shizuku, who regularly made public appearances.

 

Speaking of Shizuku, the illustrious governor of the alliance had finally finished her planning of getting Shiho and Ichika’s date ready. All Shizuku gave Shiho was a note of the place and an anticipating smile.

 

“I don’t see why she took us this far out of town,” Shiho murmured to herself, her hand held gently against the skin of her lover’s.

 

“Maybe she wanted to make sure we weren’t recognised.” Ichika answered with a hopeful tone. But there was something different about her. Something weighing on her mind.

 

“Ichika, are you alright?” Shiho wondered, slowing her footsteps.

 

Ichika nodded, but the moment of hesitation before it had Shiho holding her breath.

 

Shiho knew why she was like this. It was obvious.

 

Ichika was traumatised because of Saki.

 

“She won’t hurt you,” Shiho whispered sombrely, rubbing the back of Ichika’s hand with her thumb. “We’re safe here, okay?”

 

“It’s not that,” Ichika sighed, opening her mouth, and yet not being able to say anything. She tried again, but there wasn’t anything she could say.

 

“It’s alright,” Shiho gave the azure-haired mage a smile. “You can tell me when you’re ready.”

 

While Ichika did remain tense, her eyebrows were no longer furrowed, and her eyes, while sunken, were awake from the haze that was her thoughts.

 

All Shiho wanted to do was see Ichika smile again. To see her leave the war behind, to spend her days happily doing whatever she wanted.

 

But her hand – or rather, the absence of it, would always remind her of the war.

 

Of what she lost.

 

“Is this…” Ichika began, her eyes wandering to the building in front of her. A glasshouse, hidden beneath the delves of the alliance, sitting alone with no building to accompany it.

 

“I’ve never been here,” Shiho huffed. “How did Shizuku even find this…”

 

“It’s a star-temple!” Ichika exclaimed with awe, her mouth agape, her arm pulled tightly to her chest. “A kind of temple that amplifies the stars,” She elaborated with a grin.

 

“There were only five of them in Tenma because of the costs,” Ichika continued, making her way over to the entrance. “I never knew they made such large one here in the alliance…”

 

“Why do we make them if there’s so little of them?” Shiho mused.

 

“It’s very rare, but sometimes, you can hear the gods,” Ichika looked back at her hand.

 

But I’ve met Kaito, Shiho realised. Do these houses just… immediately summon a god? “Can you choose which God you want to see?” Shiho asked impulsively.

 

“I’ve never been in one,” Ichika sighed, still just as awestruck as her eyes gazed at the glass temple.

 

Shiho couldn’t help but adore the girl next to her – her woeful glee, the way she grinned without a care in the world, as if all her troubles had faded from her view.

 

I love you, Shiho felt her cheeks grow red, her hand holding onto Ichika’s feeling much more noticeable than before.

 

Shiho hoped that, despite everything, that Ichika would still allow herself to be happy after everything.

 

The two stepped inside the glasshouse, with one of the workers approaching them wearing rich robes, silken and gentle, like that of the creator’s depicted through drawings and statues.

 

“You must be the two Lady Shizuku invited,” the worker grinned. “She had distinctly informed to have the temple reserved for just you two today.”

 

Of course, Shiho knew. Shizuku wasn’t one to hide her intentions. She probably threw around the word ‘date’ when speaking to the workers, Shiho surmised.

 

          The worker gave Ichika a careful look, almost trying to identify anything different towards the mage.

 

          “Are you… Lady Shizuku’s rumoured guest?” The worker asked, catching Ichika off guard.

 

“…Huh?” Ichika looked back at Shiho, then at the worker. “Rumoured guest?”

 

“Ah, my apologies,” The worker bowed in embarrassment, an ashamed scowl propping against their features. “Lady Shizuku used to have this guest with her, you see, a soldier who had lost their arm that she took care of. I-I just thought that, maybe you were-”

 

“-That’s me.” Ichika nodded. “I, uh… didn’t know there were rumours surrounding me,” She remarked sheepishly.

 

“Do you know who started those rumours.” Shiho stepped forward, her eyes glaring at the worker.

 

“N-no, there were no rumours,” The worker prefaced, hoping to save face. “I’m terribly sorry I even brought this up, how unprofessional,” They muttered to themselves.

 

“It’s okay,” Ichika reassured with a nod. “…Is there any chance we could go see the Temple?” She requested, holding onto her optimism.

 

“Of course.” The worker slowly wandered over to a glass door, one perfectly carved and woven together through the material. Her hands carefully graced the doorknob, allowing the two inside with the direction of her hand.

 

The first to step in was Ichika, who slid off her shoes and left only her socks, her movements slow as she made her way inside. Then, there was Shiho, who too did take off her shoes, but was inextricably careful when stepping in.

 

Shiho felt a sudden unnerving feeling lift from her shoulders, the temperature uncomfortable as she stepped forward. The entire temple was fully open, if a little dim, hiding amongst the azure hues and the sparks from the stars.

 

Shiho gazed further, looking into the temple, noticing that with each step, a deep blue light shimmered against her. She felt her body lull into a sense of peacefulness, but she couldn’t help but raise her guard.

 

“Look, Shiho!” Ichika gasped, pointing over at what Shiho could only assume was a shooting star illuminating the temple, sending sparks to flutter and bounce against the glass. “This must mean that the gods have heard us,” Ichika theorised.

 

“This is…” Shiho began, looking down at her feet, at the lights that reflected against her. “…not what I expected.”

 

Ichika continued to walk further inside the temple, her amputated hand catching sparks, almost reforming her arm like her affinity would. She did have a celestial affinity after all, a divine vow bestowed by the gods themselves.

 

Shiho looked at how Ichika grinned, at her whimsy as she danced amongst the stars, as she let herself free of the shackles of war.

 

“I love her.” Shiho knew that this wasn’t the first time she’d uttered those words, nor would it ever be the last.

 

“Hm?” Ichika turned around, her ears catching on Shiho’s words.

 

“Ah, it’s just…” Shiho felt her face grow red. “I love you.”

 

Ichika looked at Shiho, at her lover, and smiled.

 

Despite the pain. Despite the war. Despite it all…

 

Ichika smiled, because Shiho was there.

 

“Ichika, my pupil, didn’t I tell you to just call out my name if you needed me?”

 

Shiho’s eyes widened as she stepped closer to Ichika, closer to the star-woven figure that slowly made their way down, towards the ground, towards the temple.

 

“Miku…” Ichika smiled.

 

The creator, striking bright blue hair flowing all the way to the ground, wearing stars laced against her skin. The creator, who recognised Ichika, reaching to her like a parent greeting their child.

 

“What?” Shiho stared over at Miku, at the creator herself.

 

Ichika held onto Shiho’s hand, watching a grin play against the goddess’s cheeks.

 

“Ichika is my pupil.”

 

Shiho blinked, looking back at the goddess before her. “Well, I am… Shiho. Kaito’s pupil.”

 

“You are?” Ichika looked over, her eyes wide with surprise. “I thought that you wouldn’t be, y’know…”

 

“I was… hesitant to first talk to him, but Kaito told me about sworn silence.” Shiho began. “I learnt a lot from him.”

 

“Hehe, you both seem to be doing well,” Miku began, her eyes diverging from Ichika to the stars surrounding them.

 

“Kaito will be here in a moment,” Miku confirmed. “But while he’s arriving, I must say, it’s nice to finally meet you, Shiho Hinomori.”

 

“Has… Kaito talked about me?” Shiho scowled.

 

She had no idea how to speak to gods, let alone a full-on creator. It wasn’t what she was used to with Kaito, a mere god so fascinated with humanity that he himself imitated it. Miku was the one who moulded the world with her own hands, who made imperia.

 

“Ichika has, actually.” The creator directed her gaze to Ichika, who turned away from embarrassment. “Y-you didn’t have to,” Ichika quipped bashfully.

 

“From the day she first told me of you, I knew you’d be Kaito’s pupil.” Miku began. “She cared quite a lot, even if she did hurt you.”

 

Shiho looked back, thinking on that time, on a time that existed long before she could even view the future. Days where she lived only for the sake of it rather than the want to survive. Days where she’d question and barricade herself from the inside out to pretend that Miu no longer existed in her mind to numb the pain.

 

“I know,” Shiho nodded. “Ichika is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

“…I agree.” Remarked the solemn tone of Kaito, who slowly made his way over. “Sorry for the… intrusion,” He whispered meekly.

 

“Hehe, always modest, Kaito,” Miku jeered. “How was Rin-chan?”

 

Shiho felt a cold sweat come over her, without knowing why. She looked back at Kaito, who remained silent, almost at a standstill with his own emotions.

 

“She’s good.” He remarked, but his tone was low, and his eyes gazed out into the horizon, swimming amongst his own thoughts. “If I can ask, why are the two of you… here?”

 

“Shizuku scheduled a date for us.” Ichika nodded. “I didn’t think that it would involve you guys,” She added hastily.

 

“Ah, I see,” Miku nodded, looking back out to the temple’s reflection, the stars, the light transmitting and bouncing through rays. “Would you like us to do anything?”

 

Shiho paused, her mind lost in thought. Maybe the creator could know something about the war, Shiho surmised. Or about Saki.

 

Then why did Shiho hesitate, even though this was her only chance to chase the truth? Was it fear? Confusion? Ambivalence?

 

No, it was none of those. It was because Ichika was there. And, despite it all, despite her wish to understand if she’d survive, she couldn’t bring herself to hurt Ichika, to watch discomfort writhe and shut her down.

 

Because Shiho cared.

 

“Nothing,” Shiho finally admitted, looking back at the regular clothes she was wearing – the way her brooch wasn’t displayed. The way she followed her heart than the duty that bound her.

 

Could she… exist, even if she was made to be a soldier? Was that finally possible?

 

The two gods slowly disappeared into the light, all while Shiho was lost in thought. She knew that the gods could do nothing to alter fate, it was madness if they could replay time and rewrite it. They are mere observers, and Shiho knew that well.

 

But Ichika did believe in this fate. She believed that these gods, even though they were real, could rewrite it.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho looked out, the glistening view of the temple shining down on the azure-haired mage. “After the war, what do you want to do?”

 

Ichika’s eyes wandered, watching the stars dance across her hand as her affinity reacted with the light. “I guess I… want to live.” Ichika uttered. “I might continue to do some small battles, but I want to… spend my life with you.”

 

Shiho felt warmth in every inch of her body, her gaze twisted as she cowered in embarrassment. She knew she blushed easily, but this? She could feel the crimson pigmentation on her skin, the way her heart continued to leap out of its chest.

 

“I love you, my knight.”

Notes:

Dw the ichishiho date will continue in the next chapter I'm just mega overloaded with these damn exams

Chapter 64

Notes:

Oh, look! another upload to compensate the fact that I'm out of tiering and can actually write again! Wowie!

“So, Shiho,” Ichika began, her eyes looking out through the frosted fields, all the while Shiho clung to her arm for dear life, “What do you want to do? In the future, of course,”

 

Her grey-haired knight looked up from her thoughts, her mind still clearly looking back at the temple, back at what had happened. “I, I guess I…” Shiho began, nodding her head to remember it clearer. “I share what you want to do.”

 

“I mean,” Shiho looked out onto the horizon, “I’ll still have my duty, and the alliance will still be in my hands,” Shiho stretched out her offhand, “I’d… enjoy living it with you.”

 

“Yeah,” Ichika grinned. She didn’t know why, but when she saw Shiho truly relax, she felt like she too could relax as well.

 

Saki’s coming for you.

 

Ichika tightened the grip on Shiho’s hand, her body tense and uncomfortable, like she was being suffocated alive. She swallowed back her panic, exhaling softly. Hopefully Shiho didn’t notice, she hoped.

 

Every minute that her mind would wander, she’d feel this sudden overwhelm attack her, telling her that Saki was out to get her. She knew it was because of what Shizuku said, but she had to manage it.

 

She couldn’t let herself be weak.

 

“Should we go get some sweets? Like that… coffee one, that one tasted really nice,” Ichika asked, simply recalling the times she had spent at the alliance.

 

Shiho nodded in reply, an almost indistinguishable grin forming on her face. Ichika had only seen these grins when Shiho was thinking about her.

 

Oh, how Ichika adored Shiho. Shiho was the one who found her a place to live instead of survive, a place where she could enjoy her time despite everything holding her back.

 

She still missed her parents, and everyone back at Tenma. But this heartache could never cause her to go back.

 

How long had it been since she last visited her home? Two, three weeks? No, it had to be longer than that.

 

“Shiho, how long has it been since I left Tenma?” Ichika asked, her mind racking trying to figure out what time she had left.

 

“Five months,” Shiho explained, almost as if it were natural.

 

Ichika looked back, back at her past memories. At her time locked inside of Tenma, of the moment she escaped and hid inside Shiho’s room, to the dauntless nights out on the run as she clambered into that small inn. She remembered letting go of the shackles of who she once was, the way she attacked Honami, to the fateful day that Shiho was taken away.

 

Then, there was that moment in time, where she was taken in under Shizuku’s wing, her arm lost to the battlefield. A moment where all she’d so is break down, knowing well – no, believing falsely – that Shiho was gone. An era that haunted her as she trained, day in and day out, to get stronger.

 

After that, Ichika remembered the way she reunited with Shiho. The way she held her knight in her arms, the way Shiho gripped against Ichika’s torso, afraid to let go. She remembered taking care of Shiho, exhausted for weeks as her knight recovered from the torture.

 

Ichika remembered how, when Shiho was discharged, she could finally breathe. She remembered the weeks she’d spent just wandering the streets of the alliance with Shiho. The meetings. The moments. The life she knew was finally hers.

 

Then, the coronation. Ichika remembered making her way there, holding onto the grudge of Saki’s condemnation so tight that all she could do was scowl. She remembered the moments leading up, how desperate she was to finally show herself and everyone else she wasn’t weak.

 

Ichika could almost feel the way her hand stabbed Saki, the way the princess’s blood leaked from her corpse to Ichika’s robe, to the bitterness that spread against her body as nothing was left.

 

Then Ichika remembered the way back home. The way she realised her future – realised her life was hers to live. That the moments she had lived up to this were truly the right decision, where she’d fight to savour every inch of her.

 

These memories, all of them, led her to this path. It’d only make sense that it had been five months.

 

“…I thought it’d be longer.” Ichika admitted, all the while her mind toiled with these collections of memories that strung together.

 

The pain. The shock. The fury. The sadness. The glee.

 

All of these emotions, these feelings, these small, insignificant moments led Ichika to what she knew as… life.

 

Her life was a collection of her humanity. Death couldn’t erase this fact, nor could it make her any less human.

 

That’s why, despite how mundane it felt, Ichika wanted to spend this time with Shiho. To spend her years by Shiho’s side.

 

Even if it was just… five months.

 

“You’ve been through… a lot,” Shiho answered, looking out at the sun as the snowfall began to surrender. “A lot I couldn’t stop.”

 

“It isn’t your fault,” Ichika reminded Shiho, looking at her knight’s eyes delicately. “Because if any of those things were stopped, it wouldn’t lead up to… this.” Ichika pecked Shiho’s cheek with her lips.

 

The grey-haired knight’s face flushed bright red, which was a surprise to Ichika that Shiho’s embarrassment didn’t wear out, despite how much she had blushed inside the temple. It was cute, seeing how some stern, logical person could be so deeply connected with their emotions.

 

“Should we head back?” Ichika asked. “I mean, Shizuku might, y’know, worry, and…”

 

“Y-yeah.” Shiho nodded, her voice croaking from her previous display of unvoluntary vulnerability. “We can… do that.”

 

“Wait, before we do,” Ichika began, her thoughts running on impulse. “let’s get some chocolates, like those ones from that store,” She requested.

 

Shiho didn’t speak, only nodding in reply. “We can bring some candies home for Sis and Momoi.”

 

“I forgot she’s coming over,” Ichika realised, pursing her lips with uncertainty. “Should we get tea? Or-or like, a present?”

 

“I’m sure Sis has that all covered.” Shiho nodded. “She did say she’d handle everything when we went out…” Uncertainty played against Shiho’s scowl.

 

“Then maybe getting the candies would be a good idea.” Ichika nodded sheepishly. “…Just in case.”

Notes:

I legit had no idea how to end this chapter, and there's no way I'm gonna write a shopping scene without it being mega super boring (I do NOT like shopping for more than two hours because I mentally can't handle being around that many people staring at me, but not in like the social anxiety way, in the gender dysphoria kinda way) So um yeah that is how it ends

Uhh uhh next chapter is Shizuku pov (I have not planned this at all i have no schedule whose POV is next im not gonna lie i just sprinkle them in when i feel like it)

Edit: if y'all didn't know there's someone who kudos'd my fic named Pussydestroyer1234 and my friend who is not as well versed in the fanfiction side of things pointed at it and said to me "who is THAT" and I just had to sit there and smile like "yeah that's just a regular person". Also if you're reading this, HI GRACE!! I hope your coffee is too hot to drink so you leave it to the side for a little bit but when you finally take a sip it has gone cold :)

Chapter 65

Shizuku wouldn’t say she was impatient, per se, but judging by the bewildered anticipation rising to her thoughts and the stress aching her body, she’d say she was quite impatient in this moment.

 

She knew why, of course. She had set up a date for her little sister and her lover. And while Shizuku wasn’t in any romantic relationship with anyone, she did find the prospect of someone else’s love just as exciting.

 

“Airi-chan, do you think that they’re okay?” Shizuku asked, her hands neatly tucked into her lap despite the tenseness of her muscles. She knew worrying about it wouldn’t do her any good, but this was her sister’s first date, surely all this worrying was for a good reason, right?

 

“Of course.” The magenta-haired girl relaxed herself, confidence exuding from her words. “I’ve seen Shiho on the battlefield, and witnessed how Ichika’s affinity works,” Airi nodded to herself, “And I’m sure that the two of them will come here soon.”

 

“But…” Shizuku pouted, only to be met with a finger directed to her gaze by Airi.

 

“No worrying!” Airi stressed, tucking her hands together as she crossed them. “They’re probably having a great time, remember?”

 

“Yes.” Shizuku nodded. “No worrying.”

 

It only took a few seconds until that sudden promise was broken.

 

“What if they don’t know how to navigate their way back?” Shizuku began, but Airi knew exactly how to stop this spiral.

 

“You act like Shiho doesn’t live here.” She elaborated. “Also, doesn’t Ichika sleep in the guest room too?”

 

Shizuku pursed her lips, shame washing over her as she realised her worrying, once again, was for naught.

 

“I’m sorry, Airi-chan…” Shizuku’s hands clung to the hem of her dress; “I can’t help this worrying…”

 

“I know, Shizuku.” Airi sighed as she brewed up some tea. “It’s a lot to handle, but those two are stronger than anyone I’ve ever met.”

 

Shizuku’s body relaxed for a moment, her shoulders slumping down, her hands no longer clutching any fabric. She let out a small exhale of air, her gaze tired from all the work she had to cover in the early morning.

 

Airi came back from brewing the tea, handing a cup over to Shizuku without asking the blue-haired girl. “It’ll help you relax, ‘kay?” Airi reminded.

 

Airi tied up her hair, a unique scar laced underneath her gloves. While she didn’t have any form of affinity to suffice needing gloves, she still wore them. And yet, the white fabric was torn with an oozing substance trapping the fabric.

 

“Airi, that scar…” Shizuku began, concern flexing her brow. Airi looked up at Shizuku, then down at the scar, leading with a masked grimace she hoped Shizuku wouldn’t notice.

 

“Ah jeez, I just cleaned it before,” Airi began, rushing over to the sink to apply ointment to it.

 

Shizuku followed in suit, leaving her tea on the ottoman.

 

“It’s just a small scratch,” Airi huffed out, a stern expression holding her emotions as she continued to rub in the scar and force it to subdue.

 

“Was it a mage?” Shizuku asked. No ordinary scar could form like that, oozing with a bright magenta light, coaxing Airi’s skin and staining it.

 

“Shizuku, promise me you won’t tell anyone.” Airi turned over, sliding her glove back on carefully.

 

“You have my word.” Shizuku nodded her head. This was Airi she was talking about – someone deathly important to Shizuku. She wouldn’t tell a soul if Airi’s friendship was on the line.

 

“I…” Airi hobbled back over to the couch, her arm clutching her wrist. “I got this… thing on me when I went to the coronation. Y’know, like that goo from that awakened mage,” She swallowed firmly, sitting against the couch.

 

“I-I didn’t think anything of it,” Airi huffed out, turning away ashamedly. “But it spread.”

 

Airi slid up the side of her uniform, revealing a web-like show of scars imbedded into her skin, emanating a bright magenta, painting her skin with deepened marks.

 

“It just keeps growing,” Airi growled, her eyes firmly shut. “I even tried going to the most experienced healers in the alliance, but they didn’t know how to fix it.”

 

Shizuku felt her heart throb looking at Airi’s condition. The way she shut her eyes, grimaced in concern, yet trying her best to stay calm. It had been weeks since the coronation, and Shizuku couldn’t imagine how badly it would have spread since then.

 

“Airi-chan, why didn’t you tell me?” Shizuku began, inching closer to Airi.

 

“Shizuku, look at yourself.” Airi frowned. “You lost your sister for months, you’re preoccupied with a war, and you cannot catch a damn break. Wh- why would I force more stress on you?”

 

Shizuku blinked, guilt washing over herself. “I didn’t…” She began, but Airi didn’t get mad, nor did she stay silent.

 

“You don’t need to worry anymore,” Airi responded. “I’m gonna head out to Shinonome to find a cure, but you can’t tell anyone.”

 

Shizuku’s eyes flashed with surprise. “But the alliance needs you.” She frowned.

 

“The alliance has those two, Shiho and Ichika. We both know that they will rule the alliance one day.” Airi smiled, almost bittersweetly so.

 

“Yes.” Shizuku nodded. “But… if you’re going to Shinonome, that means that you’d be able to communicate with miss Ena,”

 

“You want to come, don’t you?” Airi realised, quirking a brow.

 

“W-well, it wasn’t that obvious,” Shizuku retorted embarrassedly.

 

“I know you, Shizuku.” Airi grinned, taking a sip of her tea. “Hey, and maybe, we’ll see Haruka and Minori.”

 

“Have they moved to Shinonome?” Shizuku questioned, but before an answer could come from Airi, the entry door was creaked open.

 

Ichika and Shiho were home.

Notes:

I love subtle foreshadowing and red herrings that subvert expectations :)

Chapter 66

Notes:

Delicious delicious angst

Ichika placed down her bags, her eyes lofty and tired, her  hair swaying to her sides as she laid against the couch. Shiho joined her, just as tired from the long line at the confectionary store.

 

“These are… so good,” Airi grinned, helping herself to the cocoa powder chocolates. “How much do they cost?”

 

“Three silver,” Shiho explained, fiddling with her whetstone.

 

Airi nodded, but Ichika noticed something about her demeanor change. Sadly, Ichika didn’t know why, nor did she think anyone else noticed.

 

Shizuku let out a small sigh, looking out of one of the windows. She looked incredibly tired, a ghostly pale complexion complimenting her exhaustion as she sat on the other side of the room, simply happy to see Ichika and Shiho safe. She had already put her candies in the pantry, as by her own words, she’d have them later in the day when she needed them.

 

“Is everything okay, Shizuku?” Ichika asked, watching carefully as the blue-haired woman looked up at the sudden request.

 

“I’m quite tired from today, you see…” Shizuku gave Ichika a weary smile. “However, there’s less and less people wishing to come into the alliance day-by-day, which is nice.”

 

“Shizuku’s been stressed about the both of you for quite some time,” Airi informed, earning a nervous laugh from the sky-eyed woman.

 

“Sis…” Shiho frowned. “What did I tell you about stressing?”

 

“Don’t worry, I told her as well,” Airi added. “But hey, she has had a long day.” The magenta-haired officiant reminded.

 

Shiho nodded in understanding, her weary eyes glancing back at her sister with weary, gentle eyes.

 

“Shizuku, have you been…” Shiho began, her words careful. “…overusing your strength?”

 

“No, of course not,” Shizuku shook her head with passion. “I’d never do that again, Shi-chan,”

 

Ichika looked back at Shiho, hoping to get some kind of insight as to what was going on. However, Shiho was far too busy looking out for her sister.

 

“I’m just glad you’re home,” Shizuku said, but her words wrung dry and weighted down, as if she were trying to smile when the world flared back at her.

 

“Shizuku, something’s wrong.” Shiho frowned, immediately picking up on Shizuku’s tone. “And I know it might be minor, or hurt me, or… anything, please tell me.”

 

Shizuku’s eyes flickered, her mind rummaging back towards her magenta-haired companion, who gave Shizuku a small, affirmative nod.

 

“Airi and I, we… we will be heading to Shinonome soon.” Shizuku admitted. “It won’t be long, maybe a week, but… there’s something I need to do there.”

 

“The war.” Ichika whispered, her words so silent that she could barely even recognise that she said it.

 

Shinonome’s going under war, aren’t they. Ichika slowly paced her breaths, hoping to remain calm. And Shizuku… she’s making a deal with them.

 

“…why were you so stressed to tell me?” Shiho asked, having not gotten to the same conclusion Ichika had.

 

“It’s just, you’ll be handling the entirety of the Alliance and all of the rules,” Shizuku uttered, making excuses for herself. “I know you’re ready for that, Shi-chan, but I…”

 

Bile rose to Ichika’s throat at Shizuku spoke with such carefully planned lies, all to protect Shiho. She hated this feeling of knowing something, yet never being able to tell anyone about it. She hated how defenceless and hollow it caved in on her, how much she wished to feel the weight let go. And yet, she still stood, blank face, hiding amongst the cruelty of her own curtains.

 

Was this what Saki felt, when she was—

 

Saki’s coming to get you. She’ll kill everyone.

 

She’ll kill Shizuku.

 

“No-!” Ichika gasped out, her voice a whimpered tremble, her breaths frantic as she brought her knees to her chest.

 

Again with the breakdowns, Ichika? How is Shiho not sick of you?

 

“Ichika, what’s wrong?” Shiho reached for Ichika’s hand, trying to hold it close, her eyes glistening amongst the sea of concern that hid her further beneath the tide.

 

And yet, Ichika still pulled away.

 

Look at you. Weak and pathetic. Crybaby, loner Ichika…

 

“No, I’m sorry,” Ichika spat out the words, unable to hide herself beneath the wisps of her bangs. “I…” her voice grew hollow as she looked up at Shizuku.

 

Saki’s gonna kill Shizuku.

 

“Stop!” Ichika shouted again, but no one was talking.

 

Ichika let her hand slowly detach from her eye, but all she could see was the bone and flesh. All she could see…

 

“Shizuku,” Ichika looked up. She had to look. She had to see Shizuku. “Are you…”

 

Why were these words so hard to hack out? Ichika couldn’t understand to at all – why was she so afraid? Why was she breaking down?

 

Ichika took yet another look back at Shizuku before getting off of the couch and running into her room, locking the door shut as she hid inside.

 

You know you can’t hide from this, Ichika.

 

“I know,” Ichika’s meek voice collided with the silence, her eyes gazing at the dust, until everything settled.

 

It was isolating, grating against the footsteps that followed her. And despite her just sitting at the door, her hands still held her knees. She still felt the feeling of Saki’s shadow follow her.

 

You will never escape Saki, Ichika.

 

You will never-

 

Ichika’s rampant thoughts were hushed with the sound of footsteps meeting the door at her back.

 

The footsteps eventually halted, and a small knock peered from the other side.

 

“…Ichika,” Shiho’s voice was gentle.

 

At first, Ichika didn’t respond. She had only caused Shiho even more trouble. That’s all she was, weak and burdensome.

 

And yet…

 

Shiho still loved Ichika. She still blushed at every compliment, still held her arm at every moment, still comforted Ichika and wiped her tears away.

 

They were like the ocean and the sky, always meeting at every horizon, gazing out at each other with longing.

 

Like a guitar and a bass, strummed together to make a melody that only they knew.

 

Ichika needed Shiho more than ever now, didn’t she?

 

The azure haired girl slowly pulled her weight up, looking at the locked door, hesitating.

 

You’ll never be strong enough to tell Shiho the truth.

 

Ichika pressed her fingers against the lock, holding them there. The smooth metal. The icy touches prickling her skin.

 

The clink the lock made was eerie, as was the silence as it creaked open. Ichika turned away from the door, looking back at the spare room so graciously given to her by the Hinomoris.

 

“I don’t understand,” Ichika uttered. She knew that Shiho was behind her, even if she couldn’t see her emerald eyes and silver hair. “Why I can’t tell you.”

 

“What?” Shiho’s voice, the way she genuinely cared, yet still did not understand the truth…

 

it hurt.

 

You’re weak, Ichika. You’ll never tell-

 

“Shizuku’s going out to war.”

 

It was sudden, the way she said it. It was sudden to Shiho, too.

 

“I…” it wasn’t a response.

 

It wasn’t even a mumble.

 

 “I trust her, and I… I knew it was going to happen.”

 

Ichika didn’t turn around. The weight still looked on her shoulders.

 

“Ichika…?” Uttered the tone of Shizuku, who stood amongst the doorframe, looking over at the mage.

 

“S-Saki, she… she’ll kill you.” Ichika felt her voice tremble. “And I don’t… want you to die.”

 

“Saki.” Shiho hissed out, realisation striking her systems.

 

“It’s always her,” Ichika’s throat constricted. “I-I don’t want to remember her. I don’t want to think about her, b-but she… she haunts me.”

 

Shiho stepped forward, her warm hands wrapped against Ichika’s torso, all the while Ichika trembled and quivered.

 

“I’m… sorry…” Ichika whispered, her breaths laboured as she still chose to shut her eyes.

 

“Ichika, I promise you, we will never go out to war, ever again,” Shiho’s arms clung to Ichika as she spoke, her words filled with certainty as if she knew the future off by heart. “…you have nothing to apologise for.”

 

“Ichika…” Shizuku stepped inside the room, her voice soft, like a blanket amongst the winter. “Let us care for you, just this once.”

 

Ichika let go of Shiho, wiping the tears from her face as she exhaled a deep breath. “Y-you don’t need to… worry about me.” She uttered, but Shiho’s frown and Shizuku’s weary eyes told a different story.

 

“Ichika, if I knew that all of this would’ve made you feel this way…” Shiho looked down at the floor, her hand clutching her elbow as her thoughts swarmed her. “…I would’ve never gone to the coronation.”

 

Shiho… blamed herself. For everything.

 

Ichika could not – no, would not allow that.

 

“Shiho, none of this is your fault,” Ichika exclaimed, letting her hand reach for Shiho’s.

 

“…” Shiho didn’t speak, only letting herself look back up at Ichika. “You’re right.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Shizuku interjected, her voice loud and impulsive. “I didn’t mean to make everyone feel all emotional, especially after your date…!”

 

“This isn’t anyone’s fault, Sis,” Shiho reminded Shizuku.

 

“But…” Shizuku wanted to speak, but she didn’t know what to say. “All I wanted to do was finally meet an old friend in Shinonome, and I should’ve been up front with you guys…!”

 

Ichika paused, her mouth agape.

 

“You’re not going out to war…?” Ichika uttered. It felt strange, almost embarrassing to realise all that had happened.

 

“I knew I should’ve just told you,” Shizuku sighed, guilt eating away at her sanity.

 

“All three of you should get some rest, from the looks of it.” Airi muttered, seemingly observing from afar, only hearing what the conversation entailed.

 

“Rest…” Ichika mused. “Yes, that sounds nice.”

 

And yet… Ichika still felt uneasy.

 

“You can sleep in my room, if you’d like,” Shiho offered. “Like old times.”

 

Ichika smiled, if only faintly.

 

“I’d love that, actually.” She grinned. “…like old times.”

Notes:

IM CURRENTLY WRITING CHAPTER 80 AND APARENTLY NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A COMEDICALLY STUPID TYPO WHICH SAYS ‘Shizuku reminded Shizuku.’

PEAK TYPO

Chapter 67

Notes:

I wrote this in one sitting, one hour, and legit no plan. This chapter is not supposed to exist. I am not mentally okay. But I suppose that is a good thing, when writing about insanity.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

 

Honami lugged her body up, her eyes trained to focus on her foe.

 

Tap. Tap. Tap.

 

Rose-coloured hair plagued her view, but she shoved her fringe to the side, her arms permenantly gripping the solid ground as she continued to heave.

 

Tap. Tap-

 

Honami swung, her heart beating as convulsed and disgustingly as it usually did, all the while she slid herself up and took a deep breath.

 

“Another battle,” Honami sighed, finally centring her surroundings. The Tenma castle, and the princess she so desperately wished to protect, both holding her captivating eyes.

 

No, this wasn’t the Tenma castle grounds. This was the Shinonome border, and Saki did not stand next to her.

 

Just as she had said, it truly was another battle.

 

Ever since Saki enacted war, Akito had taken over the job of commanding the soldiers, while Honami continued to scout for the prince, alone this time.

 

…Alone.

 

Honami hated that word. She hated thinking about loneliness, about the idea she was isolated again.

 

Mages swarmed her vision, blood splattering her hands again.

 

Again. Again. Again. Again.

 

“Hehe…” Honami giggled, but no enjoyment came from her.

 

 

There was no fight. No resistence.

 

All there was… was blood.

 

“Why…” Honami lugged her hands to her face, covering her eyes. Colours would soon reveal themselves to her, and she would become exhausted in due time.

 

Her heart wasn’t enough to quell the numbness she endured.

 

“Why am I like this…” Honami bit her lip, hoping that her choked out panic would subdue. “Why do I have to kill everyone…”

 

“I’m… so lonely,” Honami admitted to herself, her eyes blurred against one of the corpses. “And I… can’t even stand up for myself anymore…!”

 

Honami didn’t get it. She never understood it.

 

She was doing so much for nothing at all. She knew Tsukasa was dead. Saki knew Tsukasa was dead. They both knew it. They both watched him die.

 

“All of this…” Honami never knew if anything was right. “All because I believed that there’d be a better end…!”

 

“Mage Mochizuki.” Uttered a sharp tone. One familiar, but Honami couldn’t help but stagger backwards from.

 

Heartless, was she? For someone who used to know Honami to show mercy, and for Honami to think of a way to kill them? Was this what she had come to?

 

This voice, this person…

 

“Haruka?” Honami’s blurred eyes batted as she felt them grow wide. “Haruka, I-!” Honami stumbled forward, only be attacked by the one she thought she could trust.

 

Honami thudded to the ground, her body limp as she clattered, pulling into a meticulous somnambulism.

 

…

 

When Honami awoke, she was hidden in a medical ward. Not tortured, not hurt, not poisoned.

 

“Go away!” Honami screamed, her voice raw as she stumbled again. Were her memories muddling with her? Was she home?

 

No one responded to Honami’s pleas.

 

“No, no…! Please, tell me I’m okay…!” Honami spluttered out, unable to think properly. “Tell me I’m still here…! Tell me I’m home…!”

 

Honami shuffled amongst the bedding, but when she moved…

 

She woke up again.

 

This time, the room was dark. Pungent. Pathetically trying to stay out.

 

“Why is…” Honami begged, slamming her fists on one of the walls, only for her body to squeeze and spasm like her heart had been ripped apart.

 

“Someone, tell me!” Honami shuffled, but everything was monotone. Was her surroundings blurring into one, singular voice? Was she burning alive again, or being sentenced to thousands of years to torture?

 

Honami ran to the door, a door pigmented with blue, but the more she tried to reach it, the deeper of a hole it became.

 

Was Haruka real? Was she really positioned outside the Shinonome border? Was she… awake?

 

Honami didn’t know if she was real.

 

“Let me out,” Honami begged, pleading, shoving her body to the handle of the door as if it would help it get closer. “I don’t want to be alone…!”

 

“I don’t want to be alone anymore!”

 

But there was no response.

 

Honami was running, her body aching as she felt her stomach split in two. She walked forward, her hands now gripping the blood that spilled from her organs.

 

“It hurts, it hurts…!” Honami felt blood curdle to her throat, drooling from the corners of her lips.

 

“It hurts…!”

 

Honami woke up again.

 

No stomach ripping in two, no blue door. This stage was different, like a garden of glass and reflections, ripping from side to side, moving whenever she gazed at the garden differently.

 

“Get out of my head…!” Honami screamed, stepping backwards, only for a bush of glass roses to puncture her legs like a dagger.

 

Honami tried to escape the bush, but the more she moved, the more she sank into the bush, her body splitting into different parts until the glass became her own eyes and the petals became a spitting image of her own lifespan.

 

Honami woke up.

 

She didn’t know how many times her eyes would flutter, but this surrounding felt the least real as all of them.

 

A bottomless ocean, reflecting her own eyes as she watched and felt herself drown.

 

Bubbles rose out of her lungs, burning like all else as she choked on water. She tried to stop breathing, but the more she did so, the more water filled her intestines.

 

Honami couldn’t move her limbs, couldn’t see her own body sink anymore. All she felt was death wrapping around her like a blanket made of daggers, ending her as slowly as possible.

 

“I’m alone, aren’t I…?” Honami realised, reaching out her hand. It was the only thing she could do.

 

“No one’s gonna save me…” Honami grinned. It wasn’t because she was happy, but because it made the pain worse. And Honami no longer cared for what hurt and what didn’t. It all felt the same.

 

A tailor’s hands, hurried in the pain of death, watching her own life be sewn together by someone else’s proclamations.

 

“Everything… was for her…” Honami closed her eyes. “Everything… was for Saki.”

 

Honami gripped her heart, ripping it open.

 

And thus, she woke up.

 

“Honami!” Yelled out a panicked Saki, who scooped up Honami in her arms. “Y-you just passed out! A-are you okay?”

 

Honami let her eyelids fall, if only barely. She didn’t want to wake up now that her dream was over.

 

“Haruka…” Honami coughed out, her strength sapped from any limb. “Is she…”

 

“No, there’s no pain,” Saki responded. “There’s no… wait, Haruka?” Saki’s eyes grew wide.

 

“She wasn’t real,” Honami felt her heart drop. She looked back at Saki, at her blue eyes, at her… mage robes…

 

This wasn’t Saki.

 

“GET OFF OF ME!” Honami slapped the person that detained her. But her body was tied up, dragged by the arm of a Shinonomian mage.

 

“Why am I like this,” Honami begged, unable to realise she was speaking out loud. “Why am I cursed, cursed with this awful thing, this…!”

 

“My Queen, Ena…” uttered… Haruka.

 

Haruka was real.

 

Haruka was… was she really, actually real?

 

“This is the assasin who has killed our soldiers. …She has, most likely, gone insane from SoulDust poison.”

 

Honami looked back at Haruka, at the world of colour.

 

The real world.

 

The real… world?

 

“I’m not real,” Honami spat out. “I’ll never be real, I’ll-”

 

“Take her to… rehabilitation.” Ordered a rough voice, one Honami couldn’t recognise. “Mizuki will take a look at her.”

 

“A-am I alone,” Honami’s lips trembled. She didn’t know what was being said to her, or how she responded. Everything was cold, so cold.

 

“Mage Mochizuki…” uttered Haruka, but Honami couldn’t register the words.

 

All she felt… was tired.

 

Tired from living, from using her affinity, from absorbing as much soulDust as she could. She was tired from fighting for Saki, from watching everything crumble.

 

Maybe, if she could get some rest… she could finally be cured.

 

Cured…

 

What an ironic thing to think.

Notes:

Ena took one look at Honami and thought “ew. …Mizuki will know what to do” and went back into her room

EDIT: I used this chapter as an assignment in advanced english class. I'll add it here what score I get, but i did have to trim/edit names and stuff.

I got a 100. In my AP English. A FUCKING 100

Chapter 68

Notes:

Mizuki POV (Yes, right after the Honami one)

“So… this is the girl?” Mizuki looked back at the patient, at the person’s tattered, bloodied face and her rose-coloured strands of hair. At some moments, she’d hear the girl mumble ‘stop’ or ‘no’ without no prompt at all.

 

“We do not know her affiliation,” replied the nurse, who looked back at the girl with worry. “Most of us presume she’s a rogue dark mage, but there’s no traces of uniform or practices shown on her.”

 

Mizuki looked back, perplexed. How had the dark mages not stolen her already? How had they not used this girl, like they did to Mizuki?

 

“Do you think you could wake her up…?” Ena asked, finally entering the infirmary with a diluted stare and eyebags that only continued to grow by the day.

 

“I could,” Mizuki began, “but I dunno how she’ll react.”

 

“She was harping on about a cure, and some other shit,” Ena reminded Mizuki. “So maybe if we stabilise the soulDust- oh my god.”

 

Ena looked over at the girl’s arms, shrieking at the sight.

 

Gradient limbs all the way up to her shoulders, encroached and rotted. Most mages would barely even allow such a condition to reach their fingertips. Dark mages – no, every single mage would never even believe a person could live having been poisoned by SoulDust this horribly.

 

“Who the hell was watching over her,” Mizuki fuddled, her eyes wide at the sight. “How… did this happen?”

“We’re afraid that we must cut off her arms,” The nurse’s eyes dragged to the sight, pity filling her gaze. “However, the fact she is still alive…”

 

Ena shivered, her eyes twitching from the horrific sight. “H-have you tried any medicine?” the brunette hissed.

 

“None.” The nurse shook her head. “We don’t wish to hurt her, as she is so young. It’d be heartless to let a kid suffer.”

 

“Sa… ki?” The girl uttered, her eyes creaking open uncomfortably.

 

“How are you alive.” Ena was the first to speak to the rose-haired mage, worry plaguing her systems like rain flooding a dam.

 

The mage reached out her hand, her body barely able to move. “Where… am I…” She whispered, tears welling in her eyes as she looked around. “Home, t-this isn’t… home…”

 

“We’re here to cure you,” Mizuki spoke up, trying to grin and give the girl a small fragment of hope.

 

“No, Saki needs curing…” The girl looked down at her bedding, her eyes jostling all around the place. “She needs more help than I do.”

 

“You’re from Tenma?” Ena spat out, impulsivity stealing her thoughts. “No wonder you’re like this,”

 

“Where am… I?” The girl blinked, tears falling down her face once more. “I’m so… tired… but Saki…”

 

“What’s your name?” Mizuki asked, changing the subject. If this girl knew where she was, she’d kill everyone. There was no telling how much SoulDust she could absorb.

 

“Honami.” She responded. “I’m… real. Am I… real…?”

 

Mizuki looked at Honami. The way she could barely see the reflections in front of her, like a zombie.

 

Ena slid off her gloves, revealing her own gradient limbs to the nurse, showing to Mizuki what real SoulDust poisoning looked like.

 

Ena’s wounds were burn marks. Honami’s were mutated and bloody straggles of her arms.

 

“You know what,” Ena huffed, grabbing onto Honami’s hand without a second thought. “I’ll fix this.”

 

“But I don’t need curing…” Honami protested, but after looking back at her own arms, something in her mind switched.

 

“You’re… real.” Honami’s words were whispers. “I’m… real…?”

 

“Get some ointment.” Ena commanded, her eyes focussed on Honami’s wrist, on the way the strings of blood vessels mutated and shifted, like a living, breathing organism.

 

The nurse hurried back with ointment, handing the small cup to the brunette with haste.

 

“Fuck, Amia, can you hold onto her so she doesn’t go insane?” Ena rushed, handing Mizuki the ointment in her stead.

 

“A… Mia…?” Honami jostled with Mizuki’s name, only for her voice to shriek when Ena’s hand left her.

 

Mizuki immediately grabbed onto Honami’s hand, but she didn’t say a word to the mage. She didn’t know what to say.

 

“Is Saki… mad at me?” Honami asked, her expression morphing into ashamedness with just five words.

 

“I’ve… never been to Tenma.” Mizuki lied. “We’re just a small village here, miss Honami.” She continued.

 

“Am I… in the white alliance now?” Honami asked. “Have Ichika and Shiho found me…?”

 

“Shiho?” Mizuki blurted out.

 

That name… she remembered it. The name of a dark mage who went to Tenma, and never came back.

 

“Shiho… I should’ve killed her…” Honami’s words cracked, her voice trembling with each word. “But I wanted to… be friends…”

 

“What happened?” Mizuki asked carefully. Selfishly, even.

 

“I…” Honami’s eyes shrunk. “I wanted… for her to stay… but she stole Ichika away with her…!”

 

Mizuki could tell, just from her words, that Shiho and Ichika were people who hurt Honami. People who denied something from her, people who lied, or betrayed, or tried to kill Honami.

 

And that… was why Honami lived, wasn’t it?

 

Because, mentally, she had already broke. She had no more control. And her affinity patrolled her systems, just like it would a dark mage.

 

Her affinity, her trauma… was keeping her alive.

 

Like it did to Mizuki.

 

“Amia, apply the ointment-!” Shouted Ena, who barged in with a huff.

 

Mizuki looked back at the girl, at her crystalline eyes. Eyes which only saw sorrows, which had to continue even when she wanted to die.

 

Eyes that stood up for themselves, that lived in fear, and triumph.

 

Mizuki lathered the ointment on her hand, applying it to Honami’s skin easily. Honami didn’t even flinch, despite the ointment most likely sending a burning sensation all the way through Honami’s body.

 

“Ichika and Shiho…” Honami continued, as if nothing were happening at all, as if it were just a regular situation. “They both believed I was a monster for siding with Saki.”

 

“Why’s that?” Mizuki asked, shuffling over to the other hand.

 

“B-because… Ichika was falsely accused for murder, and Saki had killed someone Shiho cared about in self-defence. She… did nothing wrong, and they hated her for it.”

 

Honami let out a painful giggle, sorrow relapsing her mind. “But I… stayed with her. I wanted her to be happy. I… couldn’t accept that she was a monster, not when I learnt the truth.”

 

She’s talking about Princess Saki Tenma. Mizuki realised.

 

“She… was never at fault.” Honami grimaced. “Everything she did was to protect people…”

 

Mizuki looked back at Ena, who didn’t know who this Saki was. She had no clue this was the princess that Honami was talking about.

 

“Honami…” Mizuki began, all while she added the last bit of ointment, “You might not get to see your friend in a long time.”

 

“No…!” Honami spat out. “I need to get to her…!”

 

“Honami, you’re ill,” Mizuki reasoned, but the rose haired girl still used all of her strength to try and pull herself up.

 

And yet, she could not move. Mizuki could see Honami writhe in pain, the way her eyes buried themselves in tears as she sank further and further away from reality, until she could only ever realise the truth.

 

“I’m so sorry, Honami…” Mizuki sighed. “But until you are fully cured, we’ll have to keep you here.”

 

“No, no…” Honami wailed, “I don’t want to be alone, I don’t…”

 

“-Mage Mochizuki.”

 

Both Ena and Mizuki looked back at the doors of the infirmary to see a girl sporting deep, blue hair and lustrous eyes that were held on Honami.

 

“Haruka?” Ena frowned. “I thought that Airi said you’d be picking her up.”

 

Ah, right. This was Airi’s friend. Mizuki realised.

 

“It doesn’t matter now. Not when Honami’s here.” Haruka brushed off, running to Honami with panic filling her veins.

 

“You know her?” Ena looked back at Haruka, only to notice that Honami’s gaze was plagued with horror.

 

“I’m in Shinonome…” Honami realised, “Ah… AHHHHHHH!” She screeched out, the noise so uncomfortable that Mizuki stumbled backwards.

 

“I can’t let you take Saki from me!” Honami hissed, her voice distorted, her insanity rotting her brain until there was nothing left.

 

“Why d-”

 

“SHUT UP!” Ena screamed back mercilessly. “Do you want to die!? How fucking insane are you!?” the brunette lashed out, her arm ready to slap Honami at any moment.

 

“No… stop…!” Honami jostled, her eyes filled with fear and horror.

 

Honami had no control over herself, no idea what was happening. She was fading in and out of reality.

 

“Ena, look at her,” Mizuki bartered. “She’s a kid.”

 

“I…” Ena gritted her teeth, steeling her emotions. “I just… don’t know what to do with her.”

 

“Let me, then.” Haruka bowed. “Amia will meet Shizuku and Airi in my stead.” The blue-haired girl negotiated.

 

It had been a week since Shizuku had informed Ena of her arrival. A week of this girl, Honami, sleeping.

 

“What…” Honami questioned, her eyes diluting as she tried to piece together what was real.

 

“Don’t worry, Mochizuki,” Haruka looked back at Honami, then over to Ena.

 

“Fine then, Kiritani.” Ena sighed. “As long as Amia is okay with it.”

 

Right, meeting Shizuku and Airi. Mizuki noted.

 

“Yup, I’ll… do that,” Mizuki nodded.

 

“Just… meet them on the border. Stay safe.”

 

“I love you, Enanan.” Mizuki gave her girlfriend a peck on the cheek.

 

“You-” Ena began, but Mizuki had already left.

 

She had a duty to fulfil.

Notes:

Me when no more exams

Chapter 69

The winds were warm as the winter finally began to subside in Shinonome. Airi held her eyes down towards her wrist, the infection that plagued her only growing. A deep magenta, plunged in her veins, growing.

 

It had been a week since Shizuku and herself had left home, and with the carriage leaving the walk to them, the two awaited the sight of familiarity, of a person who could refer a healer to Airi’s condition.

 

Airi couldn’t help but be scared. After all, how couldn’t she? She was dying. She was… dying.

 

And yet, instead of finding Haruka, a different person greeted Airi and Shizuku.

 

“You two must be the White Alliance’s rulers,” the person grinned, her uniform like that of a soldier, with several embellishments. “Sorry that Haruka couldn’t make it, there’s been a little issue we’re dealing with that appeared a couple of days ago. I’m Amia Akiyama, soon-to-be Queen of Shinonome,” Amia bowed.

 

“You don’t seem to be a mage, miss Amia,” Shizuku noted, but not out of malice. “My sister Shiho would be happy to know that not all soldiers are mages.”

 

Amia’s grin faltered, if only for a moment.

 

Something that captured both Airi and Shizuku’s attention.

 

“You’re a runaway like Shiho,” Airi was the first to point it out. Shizuku looked back at Airi, surprised that the magenta-haired girl noticed.

 

Amia paused, confusion overlaying her eyes as she stepped back. “What do you…” She murmured, her tone silent.

 

“Don’t worry, miss Amia, we understand more than anyone about your predicament.” Shizuku smiled, offering her hand out. “I’m Shizuku, Shizuku Hinomori.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Amia began, her eyes looming behind, her limbs pulled towards her body. “But I-I just…”

 

“Please, don’t worry about us.” Airi crossed her hands with pride. “If I knew anything from Shiho, it’s that you ex-dark mages are some of the most resilient people in Imperia.”

 

“…you don’t happen to know someone named Honami, do you?”

 

Airi’s brow furrowed. The name felt so familiar, and yet, she couldn’t put an image to it. Like the person she wished to envision no longer existed.

 

“Nope.” Airi admitted, but she didn’t want to deny the familiarity.

 

“I don’t believe I’ve met anyone under that name either,” Shizuku let out a small sigh with her own acknowledgement.

 

“Sorry, probably should’ve let you in,” Amia realised, but everything about her seemed so meticulously prepared that Airi couldn’t help but remain on edge.

 

“Shizuku, are you sure that this is the decision you want to make? To… take part in this war?” Airi asked Shizuku personally, the two hiding amongst the crowds of people.

 

Shizuku didn’t respond, lost in her own emotions. “I’ll see.”

 

The two caught up to Amia, finally entering the castle after the week of travelling, but Airi was constantly looking around, observing, trying to find anything suspicious that she could gravitate to.

 

The halls were dreary, coated in a deep grey, if it weren’t for the slightest hints of colour from windows. Airi knew that holding onto her weapons would only make her seem more suspicious, but the way Amia walked, the way shadows trickled from her face and buried her intentions had Airi suffocating.

 

Airi wanted to look further into Amia’s intentions, but with her infection continuing to weigh her life over anything, she couldn’t allow herself distractions.

 

“Amia, where is your most effective healer.” Airi asked, halting the pink-haired soldier’s footsteps.

 

“Why’s that?” Amia asked, something hiding amongst her expression.

 

Airi didn’t want to admit what happened in the coronation. It would cause Shinonome to crumble into despair. It would send the white alliance to war, cause the princess to barter and beg, send Shizuku into a deeper panic she was already experiencing… And cause the time she needed to find a solution to the infection to cease.

 

“I came here searching for a healer, and if I could find someone,” Airi began, but from the way Amia looked at her, she halted in her words.

 

“Why would you need a healer?”

 

Airi paced backwards, grimacing at the weight of her decision.

 

“Airi has been having a tough time sleeping, and she believes that a mage here would help, is all.” Shizuku lied, her calm expression failing to waver to the whims of war.

 

“They’re occupied at the moment.” Amia responded, not even hesitating with her answer.

 

Airi didn’t know why, but every little movement Amia did, the more uneasy she grew.

 

After all, why didn’t Haruka greet Airi here?

 

“Why are they occupied?” Airi pressed, hoping to find some form of genuine emotion from Amia.

 

“It’s a tad confidential,” Amia began, her actions just as rehearsed as her tone. “But our most trusted healer has a very limited time to work on a certain patient.”

 

“A… limited time?” Airi’s brow furrowed. “So they’ll die soon?”

 

Amia didn’t respond to Airi’s requests, only walking through the hall, avoiding it all together.

 

“Hey, Amia-” Airi yelled out, but when she looked out at the hall, the heiress was gone.

 

“Shizuku, she’s hiding something.” Airi turned back to her friend. Someone she trusted. Someone who wouldn’t lie. “I don’t know what it is, but I…”

 

“Airi-chan,” Shizuku gazed at Airi with a stern look. “She’s about to go through war. Amia’s… stressed.”

 

Airi knew that. She knew that all of Shinonome was stressed. “But Shizuku, that doesn’t mean that whatever she’s hiding is for a good reason.”

 

“I’m sorry, Airi,” Shizuku sighed, stepping forward. “But she isn’t doing it out of malice. Amia is just… afraid.”

 

“Afraid, that when I asked for a healer, I was odd?”

 

“Airi…” Shizuku’s brows furrowed. “We have to trust her.”

 

As much as Airi wished she could just worry forever and trust her instincts, she knew Shizuku was telling the truth. There was no malice coming from Amia. There wouldn’t be any threats.

 

“Sorry, Shizuku.” Airi nodded her head, her eyes slumping downwards. “We should probably keep walking.”

 

“If we don’t find a healer here, I’ll try.” Shizuku admitted. “But yes, we should meet the Queen.”

 

Airi approached the corridor, small whispers colliding with her ears. She raised her hand and halted Shizuku, giving her a knowing look. Shizuku didn’t interject.

 

“Do you want to swap over…?” Questioned the voice of Amia, whose tone was uncertain and flaky, hiding behind a small door of some kind of ward.

 

“She is sleeping. Make sure that when she wakes up, to detain her.” Replied a different voice.

 

Haruka.

 

Airi shuffled backwards from the door, hope slowly cracking through her systems.

 

And when Haruka finally emerged from the door, Airi immediately rushed to the azure-haired girl, embracing her.

 

Shizuku also joined in, embracing the two of them. In all honesty, it was nostalgic.

 

“Shizuku, Airi,” Haruka uttered, slowly sliding away from the two, but not out of fear. In fact, it had been a long time since the two had actually seen her smile.

 

“Just like old times, huh?” Airi grinned, nudging Haruka.

 

“Yes. I believe Minori will arrive in a few days as well.” Haruka affirmed. “While we are no longer travellers, its… nice to see you both.”

 

Airi remembered how all of them met, with Minori saving Haruka’s life during that battle. How the four of them wandered, finding their purposes in life.

 

That time, Shizuku lost Shiho. Airi’s parents had deserted her. Haruka had left her last mercenary group, and Minori had finally stepped out of her home and tried to travel the world.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t meet you here,” Haruka shut her eyes, “But we’ve got a terrible patient who needs more than what we can provide. She’s… poisoned with souldust, all the way to her shoulders.”

 

Finally, it made sense to Airi.

 

Whoever was under the Shinonome’s care, was on the brink of death. Slowly dying, existing, needing help.

 

“Haruka, I…” Airi looked back at her gloved hand, at the magenta light that peaked through the fabric.

 

Airi couldn’t ruin the moment. She had to tough through it.

 

“Do you know where our rooms are?” She asked instead.

 

Hopefully she still had time.

 

Hopefully… she could live.

Chapter 70

Notes:

Guess whos back again with Ichika internal turmoil!!!

Oh how i love writing Ichika chapters

Dawn lights blurred between the reality, the dusk hiding amongst the willows. Blades of grass brushed against the leather of Ichika’s shoes, all the while she raised out her hand and took in the open field.

 

Ichika had been training her own affinity for hours now – after the constant onslaught of meetings and the several responsibilities piled on her shoulders, she spent her time training.

 

She wished that she did it because she wanted to train, just how she’d tell Shiho, but the two of them knew that her fears of Saki would trump all enjoyment from anything.

 

“Ichika, the sun’s coming up,” Shiho noted, her own sword pre-emptively sheathed, her eyes gazing onto one of the constellations in the sky.

 

Ichika tucked her tome-book in her robes, looking back at her knight. “Yeah. Yeah…” She murmured, but she couldn’t help the worry from stemming from inside of her.

 

You’re weak, Ichika.

 

You’re not strong enough.

 

Ichika wanted those fears to finally cease, to wash away with some kind of confidence, but she couldn’t. And Shiho knew well of these troubles.

 

“…You’re one of the strongest mages I know, Ichika.” Shiho looked down at Ichika’s star-touched fingertips. “But even you aren’t immune to burnout.”

 

“I’m not burnt out,” Ichika professed, but Shiho’s weary gaze caused a sigh to escape her mouth. “Well, right now I’m not…”

 

Ichika looked back to see Shiho’s response, but her eyes diluted, and her body grew numb.

 

Ichika began to detect Shiho’s hallucinations with ease ever since she met her, and now was no different. Shiho would always look down at her hands, then at the ground, as if blood was pooling to her feet.

 

Ichika grabbed her knight by the shoulders, giving her a gentle shake. “It’s okay, Shiho,” She began, watching the grey-haired girl carefully. “I’m here.”

 

“-No,” Shiho’s eyes diluted, fluttering about in the warm light. “O-oh, another… hallucination.”

 

“Was it… Miu?” Ichika asked, noticing how Shiho’s expression dimmed.

 

“No.” The grey-haired girl shook her head. “You… were there. And then you… disappeared.” Shiho blinked, trying to remember it clearly. “I’m sorry, that I didn’t warn you.”

 

“Please, don’t worry,” Ichika hummed, letting Shiho hold onto her hand. “You can’t control it.”

 

Shiho nodded, if a bit hazily. Her fingers clung to Ichika, as if she was afraid that letting go would cause Ichika to disappear.

 

Ichika wished that her reliance on Shiho wasn’t so strong – she hated the idea that, after everything, she’d never be able to stand on her own without someone else’s protection.

 

Ichika could feel her other hand with her, but the evidence was etched in the wound that remained – she wasn’t strong enough to stop her own blood from spilling.

 

Ichika remembered her heaving breaths, her screams, the way that Haruka’s arrow detained her and plunged her to the ground, slamming into her arm, before ripping it off and shoving her like disgusting vermin. She remembered how her lifeless limb remained on the ground, how her own blood drooled and slithered across her clothes, the way she ran hopelessly.

 

She wouldn’t have survived if it weren’t for Shizuku. She would’ve died on that battlefield if it was just her fighting – she would’ve died by Saki if she didn’t have Shiho by her side.

 

She was… pathetic.

 

Weak and pathetic.

 

“Do you want anything to eat when we get back into the alliance?” Shiho asked, looking over at the borders of the main city.

 

“No, I’m good,” Ichika hummed. She needed to get back to training after this. She needed to get into a meeting, or check the letters, or… anything.

 

She didn’t have time to waste on eating, or sleeping. She had to get stronger. She had to.

 

Ichika looked back at her hands, her head throbbing uncomfortably. She didn’t know why this sudden nausea washed over her, nor why it even existed in the first place.

 

Ichika looked back at Shiho carefully, hoping to tell her that she was feeling unwell, but her throat closed up and her body began to lose grip on itself, loosening until she felt numb.

 

Ichika wondered why this was all happening – why such sudden pain was writhing over her – but she wasn’t allowed a moment to think.

 

Not when she had just fell to the ground, stricken with sweat and pain.

 

“Ichika!” Shiho called out, grabbing onto Ichika’s hand, pulling her up. “A-are you okay?” The grey-haired knight scowled, concerned for her lover.

 

“I-I’m sorry, It’s just… training.” Ichika sighed. “Every time I look back at my hand, I think of how… weak I was.”

 

“I told you that if things became to much that you could stop.” Shiho retorted, pulling Ichika back up. “I can postpone the meetings today. I’ll… figure things out.

 

“No!” Ichika shouted, unaware how loud her protests would be. “Stop acting like I’m weak!”

 

“Well if you stopped pushing yourself to your limits, then this wouldn’t have happened!” Shiho gritted her teeth, crossing her arms as she averted her gaze.

 

“But I’ve taken everyone’s kindness for granted,” Ichika shut her eyes, pursing her lips. “A-and if I’m not strong enough…”

 

Shiho paused, looking back at Ichika, then at her hand.

 

“…What if I made you a prosthetic arm?”

Notes:

Originally this chapter was supposed to end with Ichika passing out but i thought that was lazy so we get an Ichika upgrade

Chapter 71

Notes:

Oh yeah before you read this, the Kusunagis and the Yoisakis both share their spaces as the information and law house and the trade association respectively

 

It had been a long time since Shiho had made her way into the Kusunagi warehouse, especially when the Kusunagi family already had a difficult time even allowing people into the warehouse other than to make shipments. And yet, all because Shiho convinced it was for the military benefit in the coming war, she was sitting at the mahogany desk, toiling away at the paper before her, scratching out the designs as Ichika fiddled with scrap metal using a rune she had picked up.

 

“You’ve been in here for three hours now, Hino-moron.” Rolled the eyes of Nene, who walked back into the study, taking a bold gander at the parchment as well as the countless scrapped designs positioned on it.

 

“And when did you get in here?” Nene pointed at Ichika, only to shrug and let out a sigh before anyone could respond.

 

“Surely you have a better idea than just watching us,” Shiho groaned, her hand gripping on the pencil she was holding tighter.

 

“As long as you’re not making out or trashing the place,” Nene retorted. “But who knows, maybe this place needs some ‘trashing’, or whatever.”

 

“Did someone used to work here?” Ichika asked calmly, putting aside the metal clasp she had created to harness the soon-to-be-made arm to focus on Nene.

 

“An… old friend.” Nene spat out. “The dumb fuck left here a long time ago. And, apparently, he’s dead.”

 

Ichika grew silent, while Shiho looked back at the green-haired girl with concern.

 

“He used to be a farmer before he left, but he had a passion for… inventing.” Nene smiled, if only briefly. “And then, when he figured out his affinity was destructive, he left during the dark war and lived his life as a dark mage.”

 

Rui.

 

Shiho’s body grew cold, her eyes diverting from Nene. This girl, this person had connections to someone that Shiho had killed. Shiho had killed him. She was the one to blame.

 

“I take it that you’ve had an experience like it, considering those random hallucinations. Or was it an affinity split?” Nene turned to Shiho, falsely claiming that Shiho’s reaction was out of her own memories rather than guilt.

 

“I did do an… affinity split,” Shiho began. “So she could live without going insane.”

 

Shiho turned back to her sketches, finding the whole prospect of remembering her, of remembering Miu, to be exhausting. “She died by Saki’s hands.”

 

“Same with my friend.” Nene gritted her teeth. “Well, I doubt that Saki’s sworn sword – well, Ichika would’ve done it. Ichika isn’t one to randomly kill people without much reason.” The green haired girl shrugged. “She didn’t kill that dark mage during the coronation even though they were a threat because they didn’t hurt her. And I don’t think Rui would’ve hurt Ichika.”

 

“How do you… know all of this.” Ichika looked down at her hand, as if someone had betrayed her and told someone else her most trusted secrets.

 

“It’s my job.” Nene responded without a care in the world. “I don’t really tell people the stuff I know unless it’s necessary. I kinda just… stockpile it. Keep it safe so that anything that happens in the alliance doesn’t end the alliance.”

 

Ichika let out a breath of relief. “So you won’t tell everyone I used to be Saki’s sworn sword?” Ichika queried carefully.

 

“Nope.” Nene shook her head. “However, knowing everything still isn’t very… nice. It’s a weighty job, but sneaking around and getting info isn’t the hard bit. It’s the fact that you can’t speak up for people.”

 

Nene didn’t speak for a minute, just breathing in and out. “You know…” The heiress sighed, pausing before she inevitably spoke. “I never told anyone but Emu about Rui.”

 

It’s… my fault. Shiho’s mind interjected. I… killed him. All because I believed it was right. He didn’t even hurt me, and I-

 

“It’s not like I can… change the past,” Nene croaked. “Sorry. I’ll leave now.” She hummed, hiding her emotions behind a careless front.

 

It was abrupt. Thankless. Nene simply strode out of the room, her toiling hair rolled down against the floorboards, her body clasped amongst shadows.

 

Shiho looked back at her parchment – were those water stains always there?

 

“Shiho, are you crying?” Ichika questioned. Shiho brought her hand up to her cheek, finally noticing that tears had sprung from her eyelids while she didn’t even know.

 

“It’s nothing.” Shiho sighed, wiping her eyes and removing the evidence. “My eyes are just tired.”

 

Shiho began sketching another design – a gilded plate, weightless and hollow, yet still connected by small hinges that connect to muscle movements. Ichika looked over the paper, still a tad concerned for the grey-haired knight, but still seeing the idea.

 

“I’m thinking,” Shiho scribbled on the paper, adding annotations to her design. “That since your hand connects to your affinity, we should make it hollow.”

 

“Wait, what if we have a contraption where it folds into a glove? O-or a bracelet?”

 

“We can clasp it together with small pieces that can be folded.” Shiho nodded, sketching in the lines, adding details where the hinges would remain. “What metal should we use, though?”

 

“White silver,” Ichika answered calmly. A native metal to the alliance, the foundation and reason behind the alliance’s name. A mouldable, abundant metal. Sometimes even threaded into spool for uniforms.

 

“It’s so I can remember my duty.” Ichika affirmed, looking back at the brooch, made of white silver. “I think I also found some of it over here…” the azure-haired girl hummed, rummaging over at the cabinet looking over the warehouse. Ichika scooped up a box labelled as ‘white silver’ and slid it on the mahogany bench with ease.

 

“How did you spot those…” Shiho scowled, but not without looking inside the box to see countless scraps of pure white silver.

 

“I guess I just… did.” Ichika grinned faintly. “Maybe we can use it now, or…”

 

“We’ll have to make a regular copper prototype.” Shiho interjected. “Then we’ll use the white silver.”

 

“You’re so down to earth, Shiho.” Ichika complimented, sitting back down to her spot next to her knight. “Or should I say, down to make hands.”

 

Shiho blinked. “What…?” She frowned. “Was that supposed to be a joke…?”

 

Ichika looked back at Shiho with a disappointed expression. “Was it not funny?” She asked, averting her eyes in embarrassment.

 

“…” Shiho didn’t answer, only fiddling with the pencil in her hands. “Hey, what’s a better duo than me and making hands…?” Shiho attempted, not realising just how difficult it was to make an entertaining joke.

 

“Me and you.” Ichika responded, ultimately destabilising Shiho’s joke with an honest retort.

 

“Touché.” Shiho murmured, her eyes filled with embarrassment as she cluelessly fell into Ichika’s trap.

 

“So, the prototype…” Shiho pulled up the paper, offering it over to Ichika, all the while blush pigmented her face from what happened previously.

 

“Are these circles the hinges?” Ichika pointed at the sketch carefully. “Or are they just where the metal attaches?”

 

“The arm will be connected to your shoulder movements, and inside the hand, those dots will detect movement and move the metal according to it. …it’s not gonna be perfect, but it will work.”

 

Ichika marvelled at the diagram, noticing that Shiho even took into account the small emblem from her brooch to be the compartment to fold the hand in. “So this… is the bracelet design?”

 

Shiho looked over at to what Ichika was pointing at. “It kinda looks like a shoulder guard,” Ichika commented.

 

“Do you think you’ll be able to make it?” Shiho looked back at Ichika. “Well, since I’m ‘down to earth’, I take that you will.”

 

Ichika pulled her hand to her face, muttering, “why did I even say it…” as her embarrassment finally propped itself up.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hold it over you,” Shiho let herself gaze out a smile. “But we do need to make this arm.”

 

“True…” Ichika nodded wearily, taking another look at the parchment as if it were blueprints.

 

Shiho could only wonder what was going on with Shizuku and Airi in Shinonome.

Notes:

Yes white silver isn’t a real thing. Yes I based the white alliance off of lumopolis from Alchemy stars.

I miss alchemy stars :(

Chapter 72

Notes:

I forgot how much I love MMJ

“…” The soft rise and fall of Honami’s breaths began to grow clear, her poisoning slowly easing from her shoulders to her elbows. It had been a week and a half since she had been taken in, and Haruka couldn’t help but stare at the mage with a deep guilt flooding her systems.

 

Honami was just a child when she was told to fight. When Ichika left, Honami was forced into the role, exclaiming to everyone that she’d do her part. That she’d please everyone by taking up the role.

 

Haruka was the one who taught Honami about her affinity, with the Tenma king and queen saying that they’d permit it despite it being taboo.

 

Because Honami could kill mages by just existing.

 

She was a weapon to all of Tenma. The hypocrisy only negated by the fact that she absorbed affinities rather than wielding one.

 

“She’s slowly getting more stable,” The nurse mentioned, checking her temperature with her palm. “But she’s still… insane.”

 

Haruka nodded, giving Honami one last glance.

 

“What will we do when she’s okay?” Haruka asked, weary to view the mage once more.

 

“We’ll allow her to make that decision, when she’s finally rational.” The nurse nodded.

 

Haruka knew what decision Honami would make. She knew that she’d run back to Saki, following her beck and call. It was useless taking care of her, but Haruka didn’t want to admit it.

 

“Haruka-chan…” Uttered Shizuku, who slowly approached the tactician. “Are you still worried about Honami?”

 

“Sorry, Shizuku,” Haruka turned her eyes away from the rose-haired mage. “I know I should be on my break,” She amended.

 

“It’s okay.” Shizuku grinned, “Minori and Airi have been wondering where you went off to,” The noblewoman reminded.

 

“I take it Airi has been trying to make sure Minori doesn’t accidentally do anything, and you have been wondering where I am.” Haruka predicted.

 

“Nothing gets past you, Haruka-chan,” Shizuku giggled, reaching out for Haruka’s hand. “We should share our stories, like we used to near the campfire! Airi and I have been waiting to hear stories from how you have been,”

 

How long had it been? Haruka had barely remembered their times as travellers, yet the memories she did hold onto were some of her most dearest. She remembered how Shizuku would talk about how she wished to reunite with her sister, and how Minori spoke about her adoration for tacticians, even though she was too weak to pick up a sword. And Airi, who had rarely shared stories, finally opening up.

 

The campfire was dimly lit, a warm glow cast upon it, which the thick dusk and the dense air of the season only caused the light to glisten. Shizuku was humming a small melody, Airi was still roasting the berries she had collected, and Minori was already speaking about her experiences from the day.

 

“There was this strange wolf I found today,” Minori began, letting out a disgruntled exhale. “But it wasn’t very friendly…”

 

“Did it attack you?” Airi frowned, looking over at Minori’s clothes and demeanour to see if the brunette had any scratches.

 

“N-no, it wasn’t angry!” Minori protested. “But it did scurry way when I saw it. …it was really strange, I’ve never been here before,”

 

“You’ve never been to Shinonome?” Airi raised an eyebrow. “Not even like, the borders?”

 

Minori’s face scrunched up in defeat, her eyes gazing out at Airi, then delving back into her mind. “I was told it was difficult to get into,”

 

“Minori-Chan’s just… unfamiliar with this place,” Shizuku interjected. “Wolves and beasts aren’t in Tenma, Airi-chan.”

 

Airi looked away, her eyes uncomfortably zoning into the fire. “I know about that. But you guys in Tenma get all those… insects…” Airi shivered, both from the cold around her and from her own recollections of being stung repeatedly by mosquitoes.

 

“You should’ve used the bug repellent,” Haruka noted, gazing back out towards the fire.

 

“But it was so… weird,” Airi huffed, clutching her elbows rashly. “Seriously, how do you stand that feeling?”

 

“Are you not from Tenma?” Minori queried curiously, her eyes beaming with surprise.

 

“W-well, no, I’m not,” Airi began, but her words were careful and bitter, hiding behind tired eyes and hidden stories.

 

“But, uh… I used to know the princess of Shinonome.” Airi uttered, fiddling with something in her hands. Haruka couldn’t tell what Airi was fiddling with, but she could tell that there was something bothering her magenta-haired companion.

 

“The princess?” Shizuku exclaimed, wide-eyed, anticipating Airi’s next sentence with enthusiasm.

 

“Yeah…” Airi nodded, but her tone was quiet. Almost like she was afraid to say anything. “I met Ena accidentally, and she was… my only friend, for a time.” Airi let out a sigh of air, bracing for impact. “I met other friends, of course.”

 

“Honestly, I don’t really understand why my parents moved,” Airi huffed, turning her eyes from the fire to the ground. “But they told me that if I wanted to travel the world, I could, so maybe they moved for the same reasons I’m travelling with all of you.”

 

“Mhm!” Minori grinned, nodding her head. “My parents told me that too, but they didn’t move like yours did,” She added.

 

“How about you, Haruka?” Minori looked over at the azure-haired girl. “Why did you become a traveler?”

 

“I, uh…” Haruka cleared her throat. “Wanted to figure out what I wanted. I came from Tenma, and my parents noticed I was… stuck, trying to find what I needed to do for the rest of my life.”

 

“I’d think you’d come from the Alliance, Haruka,” Airi commented. “Tenma doesn’t really seem up your alley.”

 

“I suppose so.” Haruka nodded. “But I guess that I can choose where I belong now.”

 

Haruka enjoyed that idea – the idea that she could choose a faction she wanted to belong to. She could choose a side.

 

“Guess it’s your turn, Shizuku,” Airi nudged, earning a surprised look from Shizuku.

 

“Ah… right,” Shizuku nodded. Her eyes grew dim, hiding amongst the fire, almost as if she was preparing to speak.

 

“I used to live in the alliance with Shii-chan,” Shizuku reminisced, but an underlying hollowness was digging at her insides. “Ever since our parents had gone out to war, we were raised by our aunt.”

 

“You had a sister? And an aunt?” Minori omitted, curiosity continuing to thrive under her bright eyes and silken clothes, despite the tears and patchwork.

 

“Yes, I did.” Shizuku nodded her head. “But My aunt grew sick, and my sister…” Shizuku swallowed. “She ran away, hoping that she could find our parents.”

 

“That’s horrible,” Minori’s once bright eyes dimmed into melancholy, guilt washing over her.

 

“Easy there, Minori, it isn’t your fault.” Airi reminded her. “We gotta keep going no matter what, don’t we?”

 

A steadfast nod overcame Minori, a reminder that, no matter what, the four of them would find their purposes together.

 

Haruka remembered those times like they were the only moments left of her. It had been years since then, years since they all shared their stories. And now, in the thick of war, in the world hidden by endless fog and death incarnate was when they all reunited.

 

It was… difficult for Haruka to let go of. She had a duty she had to fulfill, a place she had to roam. Her friends did everything they could to find their own duties, as well.

 

She remembered how Mai drowned, her body sinking beneath the surface, how she reached for Haruka to hold onto her in the dead of winter.

 

How, if she could only avoid that distraction, the way she had strayed from her path, Mai would still be here.

 

“You’re thinking about her,” Shizuku realised, taking Haruka’s hand, allowing Haruka to enjoy even the smallest bit of warmth.

 

“I…” Haruka frowned, her eyes abroad the depths of her own mind. “Yes, I am.”

 

“Haruka,” Shizuku hummed, slowly walking towards the exit of the medical facility. But the cerulean ruler’s face didn’t look disappointed, or concerned. Instead, it was something akin to recollection, and acceptance.

 

“You don’t need to worry about that anymore,” Shizuku nodded her head.

 

“We won’t let you drown.”

 

In some twisted, demented way, Haruka believed Shizuku. Maybe it was because Shizuku was the one who said it, or because she knew that Haruka was capable of swimming.

 

But they were wanderers. People who lived without much comfort, travelling like that of nomads.

 

Maybe, finally seeing them, all of them… would bring her some peace.

Notes:

Yall I'm way too excited to start work on my polyjump magical girl AU

Chapter 73

Notes:

Y'all i'm so tired. finally get a two week break from school after this (winter holidays)... I cannot wait to just go to sleep ngl

When Minori arrived in Shinonome, she only could remember the salt-like snow and the strange fauna whenever she thought about it. But this time, she was held inside a massive castle, sitting in her own shelter, outlooking the domain she could only wander across with her capelet strapped to her shoulders and a rusted lantern carrying her weight.

 

“Whoa,” Minori gasped, her eyes looking out at the snowflakes. She had heard that winter would be filled with snow, but to see a storm from so high up had her eyes reeling. “If only Tenma had such pretty weather…”

 

“Tenma isn’t exactly a safe place to be right now.” Airi let out a sigh. “The alliance is always taking in new Tenma refugees every day on my side of things.”

 

Minori didn’t say anything, lost in thought. She wasn’t in the ballroom during that time, and was one of the people who was escorting everyone out of the castle. She couldn’t afford to look at the disaster or even see what had happened.

 

And now, she was back to being a wanderer – trying to find a new home.

 

“What’s it like in the alliance?” Minori asked. She didn’t want to dwell on the loss of her home.

 

“Eh, it’s pretty busy,” Airi shrugged, continuing to find words to describe it. “But we still need to find someone to fill in the role of the trade association.”

 

“O-oh, yeah, that wasn’t really an answer,” Airi hummed to herself hastily, catching herself complaining about the alliance.

 

“It’s… quiet. Because everyone else earns their roles and jobs, most people just, y’know, live their lives. Thanks to Shiho’s skills, we’re also fully protected and handled for an ambush.” Airi nodded, almost as if it were a tribute to Shiho. “I wouldn’t say it’s as big as Shinonome or Tenma, but I’ve been thinking, maybe we could-”

 

The door to Minori’s room creaked open, leading both Haruka and Shizuku back into the room.

 

“Haruka-Chan!” Minori squealed, rushing over to hug her idol. “You’re finally off duty!” She grinned.

 

“Easy there, Minori, you might want to let her get through the door,” Airi reminded the ecstatic orange-haired girl, earning a squeak from Minori as she slowly retreated.

 

“Hehe, it’s just been an hour,” Shizuku reminded the two.

 

“Let me guess – you forgot to bring food as well, Shizuku.” Airi outstretched her hand, as if to prove a point.

 

“Ah, right,” Shizuku’s eyes fluttered with surprise, before feigning into shame. “I… wasn’t able to.”

 

“It’s okay! I brought some snacks while I was out,” Minori grinned, grabbing her bag diligently, fishing her hands into the compartments to find where she stashed everything.

 

“Always prepared, huh, Minori?” Airi commented earnestly.

 

Minori wouldn’t say she was the best at getting lucky. But, because of this, she knew to always keep things in hand, as she knew just how many things might’ve gone wrong in her journeys.

 

She carried clothes, daggers, hooks, food… and notes. Notes that her parents gave her, that the officiants in Tenma let her look at, that she made on her travels. All of them were records and records of information – the only way she could’ve found Haruka, Airi and Shizuku came from these notes.

 

Paths that led her to her idols – wanderers she had heard in her lifetime, who had given up on their lives to start a new one.

 

“Here,” Minori handed her friends a couple of her rations, from grain bars to her own meals including breads she had made from scratch.

 

“Oh wow,” Shizuku took one of the bread rolls, giving Minori’s handiwork a look of pride.

 

“You should open up a bakery, or an inn,” Haruka remarked. “Especially with the coming war,”

 

“I… don’t really want to settle just yet,” Minori shook her head. She didn’t really understand why, but she enjoyed travelling, the constant thrill of finding familiar people she used to know years ago.

 

“I, uh…” Airi began, clutching her shoulder tightly. There was something behind her gaze, this look of uncertainty that writhed within her. But Minori knew that Airi would’ve told them in due time.

 

Airi wasn’t known to be a liar. She was headstrong, first of all, and wouldn’t hide her own feelings. Minori trusted Airi.

 

“Airi-chan, do you want to go to the markets?” Shizuku asked, looking out at the window, almost covering up for Airi.

 

“Ooh! That’d be fun!” Minori chimed in. She had never seen the Shinonomian markets inside the city, usually spending time upon the outskirts. “Haruka, do you want to also join?” She requested excitedly.

 

“The markets,” Haruka hummed to herself, finishing the last of her ration. “If all of you also want to go, then I don’t see why not.”

 

Shizuku let out a small chuckle, being the first to open the door. “You can show us the way, Haruka.” Shizuku offered.

 

The four of them clamoured out of the room, with Minori staying at the far back of the group. She could hear Haruka and Shizuku’s brief conversation as the two of them caught up, but Minori had a goal in mind.

 

“Airi,” Minori uttered, her eyes careful to look back up at her superior. There was a stern look on the magenta-haired knight, her uniform clattering, her hand holstered on the hilt of her sword.

 

“Eh? Minori?” Airi looked over, her expression faltering, forcing itself to relax.

 

“I noticed something,” Minori began, pulling her hands together. “And you have that look on your face. The one with those determined eyes…” Minori let out a huff of air, trying to compose herself. “So, I’ll make sure that you are okay, and no danger will get you.”

 

Airi let out a small bout of laughter, a sombre expression lost on her face in replace of the previous sternness.

 

“You sure know how to make someone feel safe around you, y’know?” Airi began. “But I’m alright. Serious.”

 

Minori pouted. Is she really sure that she’s okay?

 

Airi glanced over, noticing Minori’s fussed expression. “No need to look at me like that…” Airi mumbled, a small instance of guilt following her. “You know I’d tell you if anything was wrong, Minori.”

 

“I do,” Minori nodded affirmatively. “But… promise, Airi, you’ll tell me if anything’s wrong.”

 

“What are you two chatting about?” Recounted Shizuku, who swiveled around, noticing just how slow Minori and Airi were walking compared to herself.

 

“I’d ask you the same question,” Airi quipped back with a small grin. “Or are you only stopping to show that the market is right around the corner…?”

 

“Ah,” Haruka exclaimed. “There goes our surprise, Shizuku.”

 

“Knew it,” Airi prided herself, pulling both hands to her hips.

 

“Now, let’s go check out these markets, eh?”

Notes:

Oh how i love being a Minori Oshi.

Also MinoAiri is really growing on me ngl, they have such a unique relationship. I've been planning my magical mmj polyjump AU and using these chapters as just small instances of practices for me is just very nice.

Chapter 74

Notes:

If any of y’all have seen alien stage, I recommend listening to Karma while reading this. Nothing angsty or tear-worthy, the song just fits well with this chapter

The market was not what Airi was expecting. She thought it’d be rows of stalls, like in the alliance, with crowds and groups. Not a whole outpost-sized fort dedicated to everything that could be bought.

 

“I’ve heard stories about the Shinonomian market, but this…” Airi gazed out at the black stone structure, the dwellings of shops and stalls, the signs hung up styled all around the designated squares. “It’s so… different.”

 

“Someone once gave me a note that showed the full interior,” Minori began, a childlike smile following her excitement. “And it’s actually three disks of stone with several different points where people can use runes to shoot themselves up vents, like this one!” Minori pointed at an air vent, angling her hand and showing where the other ventilation locations were.

 

“Oh, and,” Minori began, “Each of these little spots are free to go into! No knocking, you just… walk straight in!”

 

“I’ve only been to the market once before,” Haruka admitted. “I didn’t even know how these… vents worked, or that there were other floors.”

 

“Don’t worry, I can show you!” Minori beamed, grabbing a hold of haruka’s wrist, slowly showing her over to the vent. “So, what you do is…”

 

“They’re having fun,” Shizuku observed, her eyes somber, like whenever she knew there was something important weighing on her.

 

“You think we’ll find a healer in here, don’t you.” Airi asked bluntly, not beating around the bush.

 

“Airi… you know that this condition is serious,” Shizuku began, averting her gaze from Airi, twisting her hand to her chest as if she weighed the world beneath her fingers.

 

It was this stress Airi hated. Watching Shizuku go through this all over again, just like back then.

 

Airi remembered it all.

 

Shizuku stood against the cliff top, perched, her eyes burdened and lost. Her hands were pulled inwards, and her hair hid her gaze amongst the deep sunset.

 

Shizuku let out a shaken breath, unaware that Airi was even there.

 

Airi ran to Shizuku. It was all she could do. She tried tracing her hand against her companion’s, but the tug, the way she pulled away-

 

“Airi…?” Shizuku looked over at her… friend.

 

Friend. It was foolish for either of them to consider each other friends.

 

“I…” Shizuku watched Airi retract her hand, pulling away.

 

This time, Airi… Airi…

 

“You’re leaving me,” Shizuku spat out. Her arms clawed at her shoulders – an unbecoming stance for the courageous girl such as her. “You hate me, just like everyone else…!”

 

“No I-” Airi took a step forward.

 

And Shizuku took a step back.

 

“Everyone…” Shizuku’s words no longer whispered. “They all…!” She hissed, seething with pain, lurching beneath the crevices of her composed, mysterious complexion.

 

“All of you faked being around me!” Shizuku admitted. “And I fell for it!”

 

“I can’t keep doing this!” Shizuku shouted, shrieking it out onto the world. “I can’t keep seeing you with that- that stare, that-”

 

“No,” Airi begged. Shizuku was jumping. Shizuku was jumping. Shizuku was-

 

“NO!” Airi ran, her hands digging into Shizuku’s wrist as she pulled her from her shoulder. “I never meant to… hurt you…!” Airi spat out, the words so bitter, so tender that Airi couldn’t forbid her selfish tears.

 

“You hated me…” Shizuku ripped away, leaving a trail of blood from where Airi’s nails submerged. “You never wanted to be around me!”

 

Airi didn’t know how to approach any of this. This confrontation, the way she watched Shizuku’s gaze grow from worried, to lost, to anguished…

 

Maybe it was the way Shizuku’s eyes grew wide. Or the way she finally looked up at Airi, as the magenta-haired girl let out a screech akin to that of a missile landing.

 

“Why don’t you get it?!” Airi begged, her tears flooding her face. An ugly, disgusting look for someone such as her. “Why don’t you see that I don’t want you to die!”

 

Shizuku’s body jittered, her eyes averting from Airi, despite how much Airi’s words lingered.

 

Airi didn’t want to get closer. She didn’t want Shizuku to jump. If she did anything wrong, there was only one way it would end.

 

So, when Shizuku finally speak, did she finally step forward.

 

“Tell me…” Shizuku wiped her tears, looking back at the edge. “Why did you… try and stop me?”

 

Airi didn’t hesitate to answer.

 

“Because I was jealous of you…!” She shouted, saliva lurching out of her mouth. “I was selfish, and stupid…! I was so stupid that I hurt you so much…! I hurt you, Shizuku!” Airi admitted. “And I didn’t even have the fucking courage to tell you I didn’t mean it…!”

 

“Why…” Shizuku repeated. Silence wrought from the depths of the abyss was all that held her swollen voice. “Why would you ever be jealous of… me…?”

 

Airi took another step forward.

 

“Because you worked so hard for your affinity,”

 

Another step.

 

“And you’re so talented,”

 

Another.

 

“And you are so kind…! So kind, that you let someone as pathetic as me be your friend..! And I hurt you!”

 

Airi fell to her knees, right before Shizuku’s feet.

 

Helpless, was it? Grovelling at someone to forgive you, even if you never deserved it.

 

Then why, when Shizuku sat down in front of Airi, did she finally look up and reach Shizuku’s eyes?

 

“Thank you…” it was Shizuku who said it. Not Airi.

 

Why was Shizuku even thanking someone like her?

 

“For being my friend.”

 

“It hasn’t grown.” Airi muttered out.

 

A lie.

 

Why was it so easy for her to lie?

 

…because the truth was what drew Shizuku to her attempted death.

 

“Has it?” Shizuku’s eyes flickered with hope.

 

A hope Airi manufactured.

 

“Y-yeah,” Airi nodded her head, as if nothing had happened at all. As if she hadn’t lied to her. “It hasn’t hurt, or stung. But if we do need to see a healer, we should at least wait to see if it starts growing again.”

 

It was a cheap excuse. But if it stopped Shizuku from being driven to that point…

 

Then so be it.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to see one now?” Shizuku asked, just to be sure. As if Airi would admit to her lies and confess to her blasphemy.

 

“Yup.” Airi lied. “We should go meet up with Haruka and Minori now, though,” she added, as if to settle the score of her own falsities.

 

“Yes, we should,” Shizuku nodded.

 

I’m so sorry, Shizuku… Airi gazed out, watching as her friend, someone she trusted so much, believed that he here was a mere chance that she survived the pain.

 

Forgive me.

Notes:

Rule number 1: do not trust me

Chapter 75

Notes:

Sorry that this chapter took so long!! Reverse 1999 updated and i am fuelled by the galactic Yuri. Luckily I still had time for this fic heh

Honami awoke to the sound of rustling, an uncomfortable noise that darted against her head. It was almost taunting her, a foreboding sign that she was about to relapse into darkness.

 

But her eyes flickered. She no longer felt her heart heave in heavy breaths. She was resting against a gentle bed, weak and frail.

 

“Where am I…?” Honami toiled. She looked down at her hands. Those markings, those deranged black thistles that attacked her veins were no longer at her shoulders. They were still there, but now, everything finally seemed to clear up. How would this even happen? Had she been cured of this illness? Did it even…  exist?

 

Honami let in a breath of air, surveying her surroundings. Bleak, white walls, a cart filled with odd medicines, gloves lined against a stool… and a person, looking down at her, which she couldn’t remember.

 

“it’s been several weeks since you’ve woken up, Honami.” The girl grinned, her eyes gentle, if clouded.

 

“…How do you know who I am?” Honami’s voice was hoarse – far tougher than she had ever heard herself. How long had it been since she had… how…

 

…How did she even get here?

 

“I’m Amia. You… don’t remember me?” Amia asked back, her words hesitant, almost planned.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Honami professed, pulling her hand to her head. “I should be more professional than this, but here I am, asking all of these questions,”

 

Amia blinked, choking on her words. Honami looked over, noticing the wide-eyed expression that took over the pink-haired knight.

 

“I-Is everything alright, miss Amia? Did I startle you?” Honami asked, but the surprise didn’t quell.

 

Amia hesitated, her lips pursed shut. She took a step back – as if Honami was some kind of death-bringing entity. And when Amia finally realised Honami wouldn’t hurt her, she let out a small chuckle.

 

“Y-you know, I’m just super used to you being, well, …crazy.” Amia professed. “Screaming if you were real, begging not to go to sleep, freaking out whenever someone left your vision…”

 

Honami’s expression furrowed. “No, that sounds… nothing like me.” Honami looked back at where she was. She couldn’t recall much, if at all anything.

 

“You must be hungry,” Amia realised. “Sorry that I didn’t bring anything. All of us have been taking turns to make sure you don’t go insane, and-”

 

“Miss Amia, if you don’t mind me interrupting,” Honami breathed in a shaken breath. “How did I… get here?”

 

“Huh?” Amia’s brow furrowed. “You were… fighting our soldiers. You wiped out most of our mages, actually.”

 

“I… killed someone…?” Honami shook her head. “No, I’d never kill anyone, all I have ever done is to protect my… friends…”

 

Honami’s eyes grew wide, her hands shaking restlessly. She could barely remember much, but all of a sudden…

 

No, I’m not trying to threaten you guys!” Honami begged, stepping closer to Ichika. “Please, you’re my friends! Friends don’t hurt each other… right?”

 

“Surely you get it now, Mochizuki.” Shiho hollered. “You are no friend.”

 

 

“No,” Honami shut her eyes. Her heart sequestering with discomfort.

 

“H-hey, it’s alright,” Amia offered her hand, a fearful look in her eyes, directed straight to Honami.

 

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to shout like that,” Honami professed, but she couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling that came over her.

 

I… held Shiho hostage. Honami recalled. Then, I trained my affinity with Saki, and… learnt about Rin.

 

“Honami? Is everything alright?” Amia asked again, looking carefully at the person before her.

 

“I’m just… remembering.” Honami looked at her fingers. At how much she had done.

 

She was… horrible to her friends.

 

She killed people with no reason, as well.

 

And now, she rested in the arms of random people, who had finally let her open her eyes and see the world for what it was.

 

“I’m… horrible.” Honami couldn’t look up. All she saw was reflections that only continued to haunt her.

 

“Ichika… Shiho…” Those words taunted her like questions she couldn’t ever answer, words that only remained to bring her down.

 

Oh, how she wanted them to be close so badly. She wanted all of them to be together, but all she did… was hurt them in the process.

 

She couldn’t apologise now. But she could accept their decision to finally get rid of her.

 

She didn’t need to pursue them anymore. She didn’t need to wake up and remember their voices.

 

She needed to breathe. To wipe the tears from her face. To exist beyond the shackles of their names.

 

“Amia, do you know what I did?” Honami asked. She was ashamed, but she had never truly told anyone about what happened. She never even confided in Saki.

 

“Do you want to tell me?” Amia responded.

 

“I do.” Honami nodded. She needed to process these things, like steps on a dress, like the different stitches and frays. She needed to see how she became this monster – because if she did, she could finally accept it all.

 

“I was once friends with three people. Princess Saki, Ichika, and Shiho.” Honami began.

 

How simple it began, huh?

 

“We grew apart, I went to school, and one day, I learn that Saki is hospitalised because of Shiho.”

 

Honami’s breaths were laboured, but she couldn’t stop speaking. Saying the absolute truth.

 

“I came back just before the coronation, to see Ichika and Shiho hating each other, trying to kill each other…” Honami swallowed. “And then, one day… Ichika left with Shiho because she killed someone important.”

 

“So they… made up?” Amia questioned carefully.

 

“I don’t know what happened, but Ichika was being hunted down for treason, and Shiho was the only one who protected her.” Honami explained. “And… since all of us thought that Ichika was no better than a murderer, when I learnt that Shiho and Ichika had left together… I took it upon myself to go find them.”

 

“I… found them. … Hurt them. Took Shiho into the dungeons and… tortured her.” Honami gripped her hands into fists.

 

“And then, she escaped.” Honami’s hands were shaking. “I watched her grow to hate me… and Saki was the only one who didn’t want me dead.”

 

Honami didn’t see any reason in bringing up the coronation, or the way she fought for Saki’s survival. It wasn’t necessary, and she had to process what she had done before anything.

 

“And now… I’ve killed people. Hurt people. All when I just wanted my friends back.” She whispered.

 

All because of her magic, she became a monster. She became a despicable creature worthy of nothing but a thoughtless end.

 

She… went insane. She turned her own insanity into rage, and from that… she hurt not only everyone, but herself.

 

And now… she was being cured from her own affinity.

 

“…I don’t want to use this magic anymore, Amia.” Honami let herself speak. “It hurts so much… it’s turning me into this monster…” she felt tears trail down her eyes. But I need to process all of this, she told herself. If I can’t overcome this, and learn to live… then what am I really?

 

“I want to go home…” Honami uttered. It was childish. Childish for her to beg of things like this. To beg for something so futile.

 

“Hey, Honami…” Amia’s voice was tender. Gentle. Her eyes were no longer filled with fear, instead now replaced with such care for Honami that she couldn’t even recognise it.

 

“Don’t stress about anything. Okay?” Amia promised. “Even though your our enemy’s soldier, you’re still a kid.” The pink-haired knight looked over at the distance. “And maybe, if you’d like to, you can go home before the war starts.”

 

Honami felt a coldness in her chest. These were the people she was attacking, this whole time?

 

“Even if I’m on the other side, killing your people…?” Honami asked. “I wouldn’t release me.”

 

“Even if you choose to fight us,” Amia began, “I’ll at least know that I saved someone who needed help more than anyone else.”

 

Honami felt tears well in her eyes. “But I…” she choked on her words. “I don’t want to go back to killing people…!”

 

Amia let out a loose chuckle. “You don’t have to. You could stop this war - you’re second in command to the princess.”

 

Honami looked over at her hands. So raw, so futile… hands born to sew dresses, hands that could create the most beautiful of garments.

 

She wanted to go back to that time.

 

You’re still a kid, Honami. Amia’s words cut through Honami’s mind. You don’t have to kill anyone anymore.

 

“Does Commander Akito know I’m here?” Honami asked. Her comrade in arms, the one patrolling all of the knights. Surely he had came into Shinonome and asked about Honami, right?

 

“I-I’m sorry, who?” Amia bit her lip, her eyes jittering uncomfortably.

 

“Akito. D-do you-”

 

Amia’s eyes grew wide, her stance changing immediately. “He’s alive?” Amia’s words were sharp. “He survived…?”

 

“Do you know him?” Honami asked.

 

“Y-yeah, I…” Amia began, only for her words to trail off. “Are you okay with staying here? I’ll get you something to eat when I’m back – promise.”

 

Honami gave Amia a nod. And yet, she still felt shaken up from everything.

 

Maybe I can stop this war, Honami realised.

 

Saki, wait for me.

Notes:

Ngl i'm debating if i should eeny-meeny-miny-moe whoever's POV is next chapter. All i know is that it won't be Ichishiho just yet but that does leave like 7 others so...

WAIT RANDOM NAME GENERATOR AND THE FIRST LETTER OF THE NAME IS THE CHARACTER POV wait that's pretty stupid actually I should actually plan this out WAIT WHAT IF I DO A MIZOOK POV

ykw whichever POV is next chapter will be completely random yall this has sorted out nothing lmao

Chapter 76

Notes:

WARNING: This chapter contains mature themes. Please read with caution.

“Well, that was wonderful!” Exclaimed Minori, who skipped around, packing everything she had bought into her bag steadily.

 

Airi looked back at her friends – all of them having bought items from the market. Everyone but herself, for some reason, who said that she was buying something later on. While Shizuku told them all to buy something, Airi couldn’t help but put money aside in case she needed treatment.

 

The four had just reached the castle walls, entering in the magnificently grey building, with Airi feeling a sense of impending threat lurking as she looked out at it.

 

All of the memories… and all of the things she wanted to forget.

 

“I have to check my post.” Haruka was the first to speak, her arms still clutching to the mirror she bought.

 

“But Haruka~ you just got here…” Minori pouted, a weary expression falling upon her.

 

“I’ll be back in a minute, I promise.” Haruka reminded Minori. “You three can head to your room, I just-”

 

“-Haruka!” Yelled Amia, who ran over to the four of them, her eyes lit up as she reached the person she was signalling. “She’s awake! Honami is awake!”

 

What.

 

“Honami?” Airi choked out. She’s the one who tortured and hurt Shiho. She was the one who’d kill and kill and kill until she was satisfied. “No, surely she’s not here, right?”

 

“You know this person?” Shizuku’s brow furrowed, her eyes glancing back and forth wearily.

 

If Shizuku doesn’t know, then if I tell her…

 

If I tell Shizuku, the war…!

 

“That doesn’t matter now, the fact she’s alive and in Shinonome.” Airi looked back at Haruka, pacing forwards, almost interrogating her. “And you knew?”

 

“Airi,” Haruka reached out her hand, but she pulled back.

 

“No,” Airi shouted. “You idiots!” She seethed, her eyes landing back on Amia. That’s why she is so suspicious. That’s why she’s so calculated. She has a fucking terrorist being hospitalised and helped, for no fucking reason!

 

“Momoi, surely you can at least give us a minute,” Amia begged nervously. And yet, Airi couldn’t let her finish.

 

“How did you even let her in? How did she not kill you?!” Airi fussed out, her fears finally realising themselves.

 

“She is under our command until she is stable enough.” Haruka reasoned with Airi. “She has been detained. We know how much of a threat she is.”

 

Airi’s features of fear diminished, her body relaxing. Haruka knew what she was doing. They all did.

 

And yet… did they really know the atrocities Honami had committed?

 

“Wh-what did she do?” Minori questioned, worry painting her features.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Airi uttered once more, but this time it was out of bitterness. Bitterness that she was stupid for not trusting anyone and throwing accusations at her friends. “She doesn’t matter if you at least know how to deal with her.”

 

“But why?” Shizuku asked, her gentle curiosity putting even more weight on Airi’s shoulders.

 

You lied to her, Airi. You’re dying. You’re dying and you don’t want to fix it. Do you just want to give up? Is that what-

 

“She’s second in command to princess Saki.” Amia admitted, unknowingly interjecting Airi’s self-deprecation. “The only mage in all of Tenma, too.”

 

“Honestly, I get Momoi’s concern,” Amia began, looking back at Airi with a cautious yet understanding look. “If I heard that one of the biggest threats to all of humanity was just resting inside a castle instead of just chucked in a dungeon, I too would be pretty horrified.”

 

Airi had to hand it to Amia – she really did sell Honami’s position better than anyone else truly could. Was this why she was so secretive? Because she knew how to make others feel better, and yet still feel on edge? Or was Airi just a freak of nature?

 

“I wasn’t exactly ready to take her in, but I trust Enanan.” Amia concluded. “Speaking of which,” she hummed, her eyes darting back to the castle.

 

“You go ahead.” Shizuku offered. “But if I might ask, why did you take someone so… dangerous… into your care?”

 

Amia paused, her voice running dry. Airi could tell she didn’t have a fitting answer.

 

“With soulDust rotting up to her shoulders, I’m more surprised she survived than anything.” Amia shrugged. “As for an actual answer, I’d say that whatever Enanan says goes.”

 

Ena was an impulsive person. She was born fighting for her life, after all. Born existing and simply being herself. Just like Akito.

 

Airi had vowed to Akito she wouldn’t tell anyone that he used to be Akari, second-born in the Shinonome queendom. He chose his own identity and freedom over everything else – ostracised and forced to leave was the only way he could live as himself. A desperate knight taken in by Tenma, doomed by the curse that was Tenma’s downfall.

 

“She sounds… sad.” Minori was the first to comment after Amia had left. “She must’ve been doing all of this for a long time. Fighting everyone for nothing… just because she was told to…”

 

“Oh, she definitely did some of it because she wanted to.” Airi interrupted impulsively.

 

“Why?” Minori asked again.

 

And Airi gave the same answer: “It doesn’t matter.”

 

“But it does,” Haruka uttered. “Don’t you remember the carriage ride home?”

 

Pain writhed through Airi’s organs, latching onto her veins and causing a sharp sting in her throat. But she ignored it. There had to be a cure. There had to.

 

“Unless you want to tell everyone what she did, don’t go around defending her.” Airi hacked out.

 

“Well then,” Haruka looked down dejectedly. “I… hadn’t realised you didn’t tell Shizuku.”

 

“Tell me what?” Shizuku looked back. It was those concerned eyes that had Airi stepping back, averting her gaze.

 

“Honami… attacked Shiho once, okay?” Airi spat out. She didn’t want to tell anyone, but she couldn’t stand seeing Shizuku like this.

 

Another sharp pain hit Airi’s throat, with this time burning her lungs as well. No, she begged. I need to stay okay. For everyone. For… Shizuku.

 

Shizuku didn’t speak, only remaining in silence. Silence that remained as she looked back at Haruka, and silence as she walked forward as if she hadn’t heard it.

 

“Like Amia said, I trust the queen.” Shizuku omitted, even if her voice was strained.

 

Airi felt her lungs seize up, her body struggling to regulate by itself. And this time, she couldn’t keep up with procrastinating her trip to the healer.

 

“Haruka, can I…” Airi began, hesitation welling up inside her head, all the while pain continued to attack her countless breaths. “See Honami?”

 

It was a stupid decision. One that would inevitably lead to things far worse. But she still went through with it, as if it were her only lifeline left.

 

“Are you sure?” Haruka questioned meekly.

 

“Yeah. She hasn’t done anything to me, I just… want to see her, y’know?”

 

Another lie.

 

Airi knew what she was doing. She was going to show the doctor her arm wound. She didn’t want to see Honami at all – it was ultimately just a ploy.

 

All because she didn’t want anyone else to worry about her.

 

“We’ll go back to our rooms,” Minori announced with a nod, leaving both Haruka and Airi to see Honami.

 

Shizuku looked back just before she left with Minori, and Airi could see the concern in her eyes. The pain she felt, as if Airi was going to do something drastic. Something that would hurt her just as much as the wound in her skin.

 

And yet, Airi still smiled. Maybe there will be a cure. I know there is.

 

Then, when Shizuku left to her own room, did Airi feel so guilty?

 

Airi turned her attention to Haruka to get her mind off things, only to be reminded of her own outburst that she had just shown. Her stubborn defiance at its worst, directed at her own friend.

 

“Haruka, I…” Airi began, just the two of them standing in the corridor. It was oddly silent, with Haruka’s eyes looking back up at Airi as she struggled to draw eye contact to the person she was talking to. She was too succumbed with guilt and pain to focus.

 

“I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you.” Airi admitted, spitting the words through her teeth. She held her elbow, trying to look back up at Haruka. But she couldn’t.

 

I’m in pain, Haruka. But maybe if I see this doctor, none of you will know that I’m hurting.

 

“There’s no need to be sorry.” Haruka’s words pierced through Airi’s mind, her voice serious, yet comforting. “We… both remember that night, right?”

 

“You knew she’d end up like this,” Airi’s eyes dragged to the ground. “You said it yourself, Haruka. She’ll only ever hurt the people around her.”

 

“I… never knew that there was a cure to this before I came here, Airi.” Haruka atoned, looking at the door, as if it was the only thing holding her back. “I watched her rot herself and get more and more unstable. Her condition is my fault.”

 

“You just said it; you didn’t know.” Airi scowled. “Didn’t you leave Tenma to get away from her?”

 

Haruka closed her eyes. “I left to get rid of this guilt. And now it’s eating me alive.”

 

That’d make two of us, Haruka. I’m hurting anyways.

 

…I’m hurting. I can’t breathe. It’s suffocating. I-

 

“You can see her first,” Airi offered. “If what Amia said is true, she’ll need someone she remembers.”

 

Haruka nodded, her expression stern. Airi knew how Haruka felt. Like when she went to finally free Shiho from the torture cell they shoved her in. The cell Honami shoved Shiho in.

 

“Mage Mochizuki.” Those were the first words that Haruka uttered, her eyes no longer at the door, as she stood in the room without a moment’s hesitation.

 

“H-Haruka?” Honami yelped out, her eyes jostling, her arms weak as she clung to the bed frame, with her legs dangling off the side. “I-I didn’t know that… you’d want to… see me.” She croaked.

 

While Haruka was finally speaking to Honami, Airi took the time to survey the room. There were medicine racks all around, harsh lighting hitting downwards, and the healer, steadied by Honami’s side, fixing up one of her wounds on her arm.

 

“A-and… Momoi? You’re from the alliance, you…” Honami swallowed back tears. “You… probably want to kill me…”

 

“We don’t.” Haruka explained. “Do you have any headaches? Any pains?”

 

Airi was left with her mouth agape. She hadn’t seen Honami act so… normal. Ever. Honami was reckless and insane whenever she saw her. But now, Honami was questioning why she didn’t get murdered in cold blood. As if she deserved to die. And… maybe she did.

 

“…why are you being kind to me, miss Haruka?” Honami’s voice was like porcelain, able to shatter and break at any moment. Her eyes were distant and lost, as if she no longer had a direction to go to.

 

She had grown up, growing from the pain of watching everything slip away, to now atoning for her own shortcomings as if all she was only her mistakes.

 

“Because you needed someone to be kind.” Haruka explained, taking a step closer. “You should thank the queen, not me. …She’s the reason you are alive.”

 

“But I…” Honami began, only to start coughing up blood, with small droplets staining the bedsheets.

 

“Let me get something for you,” Haruka rushed out of the room. “You can talk to her now, Airi.” She uttered on her way out.

 

And as soon as Haruka left, Airi let out a deep exhale. She knew what she needed to do.

 

Now I can finally ask about my condition.

 

“I’m sorry, Honami, but I would like to see the healer for just a quick moment,” Airi confessed. She expected Honami to get up and utter profanities, but she was met with an understanding nod.

 

“I get it.” Honami omitted. “You don’t want to worry your friends and want to see the healer. …I’ve been there.”

 

Airi looked at Honami, locking eyes. “You can tell, can’t you…”

 

Honami nodded, if wearily. “You keep clutching your arm. Is it an infection?”

 

Airi slowly slid off the glove, revealing just how badly it had gotten. Her skin was a deep grey, and her veins were pigmented with a magenta that continued to grow under the surface. She could barely even use her hand now.

 

And the look on Honami’s face? Horrified.

 

I can’t tell Haruka anymore. Airi realised. If this is what a regular person reacts to this, how will my friends react?

 

“E-excuse me,” quipped the healer, who had finally looked over from Honami’s bedside to see the wound jostling in Airi’s body. “Do you mind showing me your arm, Momoi?”

 

Airi looked up from her daze, rolling up her sleeve. Finally, she got a good look at it – the way it trailed up her shoulder and ripples through her neck and torso, slowly bleeding through her body and tracing patterns all over.

 

“Is it curable?” Airi asked, sliding the glove back on, rolling her sleeve down carefully as to not reveal anything about the wound.

 

The healer didn’t respond. All that was left was silence.

 

“Those are markings of a dark mage,” the healer began, avoiding the original question in the process. “There is no way to cure it aside from cutting it off.”

 

Airi’s eyes widened. The coughing, the pain…

 

The infection had finally reached her throat.

 

“No,” she spat out. “You’re telling me it’s too late to do anything?”

 

Dread finally set into motion.

 

I’m dying. I’m…

 

Airi sucked in a laboured breath of air, her lungs struggling to hold up. Panic washed over her body, her eyes swollen as tears prickled her face.

 

I’m dying.

 

Airi tried to take a step back, to wipe her tears, but more and more fell from her tear ducts. She couldn’t help it, the tremors, the pain, the way everything finally set.

 

“I’m so sorry,” the Healer whispered. “If you made it in time, we would’ve been able to uproot it. But since it’s in your body…”

 

“I…” Airi looked back at Honami. “Hey, j-just tell Haruka that I went to my room, okay? Don’t mention any of this.”

 

“But-“ Honami began, only for Airi to look back at her.

 

“Please,” Airi uttered. “Please…”

 

“It’s okay. Spend the rest of your days with your friends or family, Momoi.” The healer amended.

 

Airi needed to recuperate herself. To wipe these shitty tears. To get rid of the trembles.

 

She needed to be happy, for them.

 

Maybe that’s why she ran out of the room, rushing out of the hallways, trying to find a place where she could escape the revelation.

 

I really have no other option, don’t I?

 

Airi could feel her heart heave in her chest. This horrid feeling piercing her veins as she spluttered out a ragged cough, unable to hold herself together.

 

“Airi?”

 

Airi’s eyes jostled up towards the person speaking to her, her gaze wide as she took another step back, clutching the side of her waist as if it had been stabbed.

 

Only when she realised who it was did she finally admit it.

 

“Ena, I’m… dying.” Airi coughed out. “There’s no way I can live.”

 

Finality finally set in for Airi, her body growing weak at the mere thought of death.

 

Was she gonna die like the rest of QT, from the same type of wound?

 

Yes.

 

“Fuck, Airi, what do you mean?!” Ena hissed out, grabbing Airi by the shoulder. “Y-you can’t die! I can’t go into war knowing you’re gone!”

 

Airi let out a helpless sob. “There’s… nothing I can do.” She finally realised.

 

She was dying. There was no denial anymore. She couldn’t just push this to the back of her mind.

 

There really was nothing she could do.

 

“Airi Momoi, you are coming into my room right now and telling me everything.” Ena demanded. “You cannot just say that you’re dying now without warning!”

 

Airi didn’t object at all. She knew that this would be the outcome. Being dragged by the hand by the Queen of Shinonome to her room without any altercations, hiding from the friends she cared so deeply for.

 

So, when the doors closed, did she finally admit the truth.

 

She slid off her glove.

 

“I-It’s-” Airi began, tossing her coat to the floor, with her entire left half collapsing to the ground. Ena let out a shriek, pulling Airi up from the ground, only for her to tumble down with her.

 

“That da-dark mage,” Airi sucked in a breath. “She stabbed my arm. She caused-”

 

Airi sucked in a breath, but nothing came through.

 

She tried to breathe…

 

But she couldn’t at all.

 

“You encountered dark mages?!” Ena screamed, shaking Airi by her shoulder. “Where? WHERE!?”

 

Airi felt her lungs collapse.

 

Every breath… every word… everything…

 

Every…

 

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Airi Momoi is dead.

 

You didn’t expect me to say it, huh?

 

…You’re the one reading this story.  This is as much your fault as is mine.

 

Airi Momoi…

 

Is dead.

Chapter 77: Mizuki’s point of view

Notes:

Thank you Gracie (you know who you are)

For context, she helped me pick who’s povs should be for this split POV other than Ena and Mizuki

 

Mizuki let out a sigh of relief as she walked back from the garden to finally check on Ena, her Queen. Ena already knew Mizuki had a habit of going to the garden, and sometimes they’d visit together.

 

However, when Mizuki finally reached the main hallways of the castle interior, her ears picked up… screaming.

 

At first, Mizuki would brush it off. Soldiers fought all the time. Ena fought all the time. But these screams weren’t the usual jabs or banters that would echo. These were mangled sobs, heaved and thrown out directly from a person’s lungs.

 

“Ena?” Mizuki uttered, but she continued to hold herself together. Everything was fine, right? She just told Ena that Akito was alive, so surely that’d be the reason… right?

 

“Miss Amia, have you seen Airi?” Asked an azure-haired mage – Haruka Kiritani, the lead war strategist.

 

“No, I… don’t think I’ve seen her.” Mizuki shook her head. “I can check with Enanan, though. I’ll be right back!” Mizuki abided, giving her comrade a smile before turning the corner and heading off to Ena’s room.

 

Why is Haruka looking for Airi? Did she get lost? Maybe she was chatting with Ena, and that shouting was just them. Maybe I just… have to get used to them.

 

Mizuki did not ‘have to get used to them’.

 

Not when she heard the screaming.

 

“You encountered Dark Mages!?” Ena was the first to screech, her tone filled with complete and utter rage. “Where!? WHERE!?” The brunette continued, her breaths sharp and potent, an audible gasp of air plunging the atmosphere to disarray.

 

Mizuki stood right in front of the door, unable to reach for the handle. Her eyes were wide, and her mind would not stop speaking… it was so loud that she had to pull her hands to her ears.

 

“Airi…?” Ena’s voice became lost, her words weighing on pain that carried itself from her voice to Mizuki’s ears. “AIRI!”

 

Mizuki took a step back, her mind trying to focus. What was the last thing Airi had said to me? She was worried about Honami, right? A-and she wanted to see a healer. The most trained healer in our kingdom, no less, so-

 

Mizuki felt her body grow numb at her slow, unbefitting realisation.

 

“Stop it! Stop- STOP SCARING ME!” Gnarled Ena, her voice hissing and screeching like a wild animal. “No, you’re not dying on my watch! You’re never dying on me! You- YOU PROMISED!” Ena continued, her voice growing more hazy and violent, a hopeless mirage of emotions filling her mind.

 

Mizuki felt her heart grow cold at the sound of the one person she loved slowly descending into madness. She couldn’t do anything, could she? Walking in now would be fruitless.

 

“Airi, why did you die,” Whispered the brunette, unable to feel anything other than regret. “Why did you leave me…?”

 

Mizuki looked away from the door, from the doorhandle. She was no better than a demon who stole someone’s life away again.

 

She was exactly like everyone else in that damned labyrinth, sulking in shadows, murdering people who simply existed to satiate their bloodlust. She was a vampire, sinking her teeth on victims all for her own selfish needs.

 

“You’re… dead.” Ena’s voice was muffled, but Mizuki knew that tone more than anyone. It was the same one she’d use when describing her past, mourning and realising and throwing away all that is to the wind.

 

“But you… promised…” Mizuki could hear the sobs etch their way from Ena’s throat. Her hoarse, bleeding heart scrambling to pieces.

 

“If only… I had been quicker…!” It was a lost cause, Mizuki knew this. But her hands continued to reach for the doorhandle. “Why did you… wait so long… to tell me…!”

 

Mizuki couldn’t watch this go on any longer. She had to see Ena, to comfort her. She couldn’t run away again.

 

So, she knocked.

 

She heard Ena’s pleads. The way she begged for her not to come in. But she already knew too much.

 

So when she saw Ena holding a lifeless corpse, she knew that Airi’s death was cemented.

 

Airi was dead. And Mizuki couldn’t help but hold the burden.

 

The burden of existence. Of living. Of simply knowing that she could’ve stopped this.

 

And then, she looked back up at Ena. “Enanan…” She whispered. Ena’s eyes were bloodshot. Her hair was a mess. And her hands continued to tremble as she heaved in breaths of air to calm her horrors, even if she knew she’d never recover.

 

“I… was trying to find where she went.” Mizuki tried to reason, to explain everything. But her heart continued to pull her deeper and deeper into guilt. “Her friends were… looking for her.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Ena.” Mizuki choked out, trying to hide her guilt. “I… didn’t think that I’d see Airi dead. A-and I…”

 

“Mizuki.” Ena gritted her teeth. “Do you know which mage did these markings.”

 

It was abrupt. Painful. Overwhelming. Ena wasn’t herself – she was fuelled by rage she could never subdue. A pain so deep that her heart could not feel anything but pure fury.

 

“…!” Mizuki’s eyes gravitated to the markings.

 

Kohane… she’s awakened. She’s killed herself to be reborn as a power-hungry husk. I couldn’t save her.

 

“It’s… Kohane. Kohane Azusawa. Sh-she’s the only one who’d be capable of doing this.”

 

Mizuki looked back at Ena, her eyes spotting the fury latching onto Ena. She was gonna avenge Airi. She was gonna kill herself in the process. Ena couldn’t best an awakened mage – no one could. “N-no, Enanan, don’t tell me-”

 

“I will kill her.” Ena disregarded Mizuki’s panic, her own fury rotting her mind amongst the pain that lured her to her irrationality.

 

“Enanan, you’re making a huge mistake.” Mizuki began. “We don’t know if she’s awakened, or what she’s capable of,” she huffed out, trying to reason with the brunette. “W-we need to strengthen our ally-ship with the alliance.”

 

“But Airi is dead.” Ena deadpanned. “The alliance has lost one of its rulers.”

 

Haruka’s words began ringing in Mizuki’s ears. Miss Amia, have you seen Airi? Miss Amia, have you seen Airi? Miss Amia, have you seen Airi? Miss Amia, have you seen Airi? Miss Amia, have you seen Airi? Miss Amia, have you seen Airi? Miss Amia, have you seen Airi?

 

…Miss Amia, have you seen Airi?

 

“None of them know Airi is dead, Ena!” Mizuki shouted out uncontrollably, her mind racing with panic. She couldn’t tell them now, but they all care about Airi. What if Ena died, and Haruka was there? Would she… hide Ena’s death? Would I want Ena’s death to be hidden from me? “Not even… Shizuku.”

 

Mizuki saw Ena’s blank stare as she looked back at Airi’s glazed-over eyes, tears falling over Airi’s corpse.

 

I have to tell them. Even if they’ll hate me.

 

But Ena...

 

 

“Amia, take A-Airi to the guest room,” Ena trembled. “Her friends… we can’t tell them. Not now.”

 

Mizuki felt like she was going to be sick. NO! WE HAVE TO TELL THEM! Mizuki desperately tried to shout, but she couldn’t. All she could do was whisper.

 

Ena handed Mizuki Airi’s corpse, Airi’s skin icy to the touch. And yet, Mizuki still held her as if she was still alive. Even if she knew all too well Airi was lifeless and cold.

 

“But…” Mizuki objected, trying to hold her tongue. “Ena, surely…”

 

Please.” Ena begged, crossing her arms, holding herself together. “I can’t let any of them know. I can’t just watch my kingdom collapse, and for them to think that I was the one who killed her!”

 

Mizuki knew the feeling. The emotions that continued to plague her, the guilt that she could’ve saved Airi. But she… she couldn’t go against Ena.

 

How fitting of her to run away, wasn’t it?

 

Mizuki slid out of the room, holding Airi’s corpse. It was cold, her body slowly numbing. Mizuki wanted to utter her own apologies, but there was no longer any more time.

 

She just needed to get to the guest room. To hide Airi’s death from everyone.

 

All she needed to do was hide. Hide death. Hide life. Hide her own morality amongst Airi’s putrid corpse.

 

“Airi…?”

 

Mizuki looked up. She realised exactly who it was.

 

Haruka… saw it.

 

Airi’s death.

 

Haruka knew.

 

“She…” Mizuki’s voice grew numb. “I don’t know what to do, Haruka.” She bit back tears, staring back at Airi.

 

Haruka didn’t speak to Mizuki. All she did was stare at Airi.

 

And behind her…

 

Was Shizuku.

 

“Airi… she promised to stay alive…” Shizuku took a step forward. “Why…”

 

“Who did this.” Haruka begged, holding her hand to her chest, trying to pull herself together.

 

“Dark mages.” Shizuku answered, her hand reaching to Airi’s. but Airi didn’t respond to the touch. “She… should’ve told me…”

 

“I can’t do this!” Shizuku retracted her hand, pulling it to her face. “I need to go home, I can’t partake in this war,” Shizuku spluttered. “I should’ve listened to Airi, this war…!”

 

“Amia, I…” Haruka looked back at Airi, then at Mizuki. “I can’t stay here. If you can’t even protect my friends,” Haruka spat out, her eyes narrow, hazed with grief. “Then how will you protect me?”

 

“But-” Mizuki began, panic overwhelming her body. Everyone was leaving. Everyone was… leaving.

 

“-Why did we even save Honami, if Airi was the cost?” Haruka questioned, her brows flexed in dissonance. “Why even do anything if every decision Ena makes will end like this?”

 

“Haruka,” Shizuku tried to stop her friend, but she couldn’t. Not when anger boiled Haruka and caused her to question everything.

 

“I came here to save people,” she began, “but all I’ve done is watch everything collapse. And now, even Airi has died,”

 

“Why should I trust that you aren’t the same thing that killed Airi? The same mage who will terrorise everyone?”

 

Mizuki dropped Airi’s corpse, her body jolting in panic and pain.

 

She thought she could run away from that life. That she could breathe, knowing that everything that she did was always going to end like this.

 

“I’m not…” Mizuki began, clutching her throat. “Him…!”

 

“Amia-” Shizuku tried to grab onto Mizuki’s wrist, but she couldn’t let her.

 

“I’m sorry…!” She hissed out, trying to hide the pain in her throat. But she couldn’t let herself witness this.

 

You’re still him.

 

Mizuki choked out a sob, stepping backwards.

 

You’re still him.

 

Haruka arched her hand, holding her staff to Mizuki’s throat.

 

“I will kill you, you mage.” Haruka hissed out. “For letting Airi die…”

 

“I will be back, you Murderer!”

 

And so, Mizuki did the only thing she could.

 

She ran away.

Chapter 78: Ena’s Point of view

“AIRI!” Ena screeched, shaking her friend’s body, holding her shoulders so tightly that if she added any more pressure, there was a chance she could break her bones.

 

“Fuck, you have to wake up!” Ena looked down, her heart beating with pain, her eyes wide. “Airi, you’re just sleeping, right? You j-just… you…”

 

Ena felt Airi’s body grow unnaturally cold.

 

“Stop it! Stop- STOP SCARING ME!” Ena shrieked, tears drooling down her face. “No, you’re not dying on my watch! You’re never dying on me! You- YOU PROMISED!”

 

But Airi didn’t wake up. Her eyes were still open. And her own breaths… gone.

 

Ena wasn’t one to fall silent right after a fit of yelling. She didn’t know her own heart had the capability to break into pieces, too.

 

Ena let out a heaving, whispered sob. She tried holding onto Airi’s arms, but Airi’s chest no longer rose. Her eyes were dejected, drifting off into the distance. And her body… limp, unable to move.

 

“Airi, why did you die,” Ena’s words were dry. Emotionless. Detached from the world. “Why did you leave me…?”

 

Ena didn’t know what to do.

 

“You’re… dead.” Ena finally uttered. Even if she knew it was already true, she couldn’t stop her own tears from wailing.

 

“But you… promised…” The brunette placed her gloved hand across Airi’s forehead, sweeping her fringe out of the way to see just how badly the infection had spread.

 

“If only… I had been quicker…!” Ena watched her own tears fall down Airi’s corpse, sliding across skin that would never feel the touch. “Why did you… wait so long… to tell me…!”

 

Ena heard the knock of Mizuki slowly peek through her ears.

 

“N-no, Mizuki, don’t-” Ena began, but it was too late.

 

Mizuki stared at Airi’s corpse, her eyes wide, stricken with fear. “Enanan…” she whispered, bleak.

 

“I… was trying to find where she went.” Mizuki began. Her voice was monotone, the same tone she used when she was about to kill herself. “Her friends were… looking for her.”

 

Both of them knew that Airi was dead. It was only natural.

 

“I’m so sorry, Ena.” Mizuki choked out. “I… didn’t think that I’d see Airi dead. A-and I…”

 

“Mizuki.” Ena gritted her teeth. “Do you know which mage did these markings.”

 

I’m gonna murder them. That horrid, disgusting thing that killed my friend. THEY WILL DIE IN HELL AND BE PUNISHED FOR KILLING AIRI.

 

“…!” Mizuki’s breaths grew laboured, her eyes wide as she stared at the patterns. “It’s… Kohane. Kohane Azusawa. Sh-she’s the only one who’d be capable of doing this.”

 

Mizuki’s eyes flicked back at Ena hastily. “N-no, Enanan, don’t tell me-”

 

“I will kill her.” Ena spat. Kohane, huh? You’re the one who killed my best friend, aren’t you?

 

“Enanan, you’re making a huge mistake.” Mizuki began. “We don’t know if she’s awakened, or what she’s capable of,” she huffed out, trying to reason with the brunette. “W-we need to strengthen our ally-ship with the alliance.”

 

“But Airi is dead.” Ena deadpanned. “The alliance has lost one of its rulers.”

 

“None of them know Airi is dead, Ena!” The words escaped Mizuki’s mouth, her eyes wide with horror. “Not even… Shizuku.”

 

Ena looked back at Airi. At her infection. Ena was the one who heard Airi’s last words.

 

Airi would want her friends to know, wouldn’t she? That’s why she was… crying…

 

She was afraid of telling them, like how Mizuki was afraid of telling me her own truths. And now… now she’s…

 

Ena scooped up Airi in her arms, tears running down her face.

 

“Amia, take A-Airi to the guest room,” Ena trembled. “Her friends… we can’t tell them. Not now.”

 

“But…” Mizuki objected, her eyebrows flexed with concern as she held Airi’s lifeless body. “Ena, surely…”

 

“Please.” Ena begged, crossing her arms, holding herself together. “I can’t let any of them know. I can’t just watch my kingdom collapse, and for them to think that I was the one who killed her!”

 

Ena never meant to scream. She never wanted to. But her heart couldn’t take all of this. Her eyes were desperate and tired, her hands aching, and her mentality was declining by the minute. She couldn’t breathe. She-

 

Airi is dead.

 

Ena looked back at where Mizuki stood, seeing nothing there. Her mind was heavy, and her arms weighed down her body like boulders.

 

The war… her people… everyone…

 

Ena needed to stay strong for them.

Chapter 79: Haruka’s point of view

Haruka finally came back to give Honami her water, but as she swayed into the medical ward, there was an odd absence of Airi.

 

“Do either of you know where Airi went?” Haruka looked over at the doctor, then at Honami.

 

Honami looked up from her bedside, her eyes weak as she gazed out into the distance. “I believe she left,” Honami hummed. “I guess that she… still believes that I’m a threat. She was uncomfortable around me.” Honami professed. “…I don’t blame her.”

 

“Don’t say that, Honami.” Haruka comforted. “You’re still human.”

 

“Lady Amia may know where she is,” the healer redirected, but there was a mellow look on their face. Something akin to guilt.

 

Haruka didn’t question it, simply taking the doctor’s advice to find where Airi was.

 

I wonder where Airi would even be, Haruka noted. She’s not one to sneak out, or be secretive. She did grow up here though…

 

Haruka’s train of thought was haltered by the appearance of the exact person she was searching for appearing from the corner, near the exit of the garden.

 

“Miss Amia, have you seen Airi?” Haruka, her voice stern – unwavering, despite her concerns.

 

“No, I… don’t think I’ve seen her.” Mizuki shook her head. “I can check with Enanan, though. I’ll be right back!”

 

Amia left with little attention paid to the strategist. Haruka was skeptical, but there wasn’t much she could do in this situation.

 

So, she simply walked over to Shizuku’s room first.

 

But this time, she wasn’t greeted with smiles and welcomes.

 

Shizuku looked at Haruka, her eyes pleading. Her arms were weaved together like string, and her body jolted at the mere sight of something.

 

“Airi…?” Shizuku spluttered. But it wasn’t Airi.

 

“It’s just me. Why are you…” Haruka began, shuffling her hand questioningly. Why was Shizuku so tense?

 

“O-oh, I’m sorry,” Shizuku let out a sigh, tension writhing through her bones.

 

“Airi…” Shizuku gripped her hand tightly. “I think I know what’s going on, but I don’t want it to be true,”

 

“What do you mean?” Haruka frowned.

 

“Airi has gotten this… illness. She hasn’t told anyone about it but me, but… I think she went to see the healer to see if it’s curable.”

 

Haruka felt her throat constrict.

 

“I just…” Shizuku’s eyes wilted, deep in thought. “I want her to be okay.”

 

Airi…

 

I haven’t seen her. Where on Imperia would she… be…

 

“Shizuku, I haven’t seen her since I left the ward.” Haruka realised. She hated the sinking feeling in her stomach, the way her heart convulsed and revolted in disgust.

 

Is she…

 

Did she…

 

Is… Airi…

 

Haruka grabbed Shizuku’s hand. “We need to find her,” Haruka announced, as if it were a command. “We need to do this. We…”

 

Haruka heard footsteps, and heavy breathing. She narrowed her eyes, trying to see if it was Airi.

 

And…

 

It was.

 

“Airi…?”

 

Airi laid in the hands of Amia, her body… numb.

 

Airi was dead.

 

Airi was DEAD.

 

AIRI WAS-

 

“She…” Amia tried to explain, but her voice fell short. “I don’t know what to do, Haruka.”

 

She’s dead.

 

There’s no use. No use trying anymore. No use staring at a corpse who would never respond to her.

 

Why did it have to be Airi…?

 

“Airi… she promised to stay alive…” Shizuku stared at the corpse. This was no longer Airi in Haruka’s eyes. “Why…”

 

“Who did this?” Haruka looked at it. The corpse. The person who was once alive.

 

“Dark mages.” Shizuku answered, her hand reaching to Airi’s. but Airi didn’t respond to the touch. “She… should’ve told me…”

 

Haruka looked back at Shizuku. She was shaking, her eyes sore, her mind unable to cope with the sight.

 

It was only natural that she’d lose rationality.

 

“I can’t do this!” Shizuku screeched. “I need to go home, I can’t partake in this war,” Shizuku spluttered. “I should’ve listened to Airi, this war…!”

 

War.

 

There wasn’t even a war yet, and Airi…

 

Airi…!

 

“Amia, I…” Haruka felt disgusted. “I…can’t stay here. I-if you can’t even protect my friends,” Haruka felt her lips tremble, her voice trying to pull itself together. “Then how will you protect me?”

 

“But-”

 

“-Why did we even save Honami, if Airi was the cost?” Haruka didn’t understand. Was this the price she had to pay? To watch her friends die from the hands of Honami once again? “Why even do anything if every decision Ena makes will end like this?”

 

“Haruka,” warned Shizuku, but it was all fruitless.

 

I’m done. Haruka knew this was the truth. I’m done with Tenma. With Shinonome. With everyone.

 

All I wanted was my friends back, and now, all of a sudden, my entire life is made to defy it.

 

“I came here to save people,” Haruka admitted, her heart trying to find why she stayed here. Why she let Ena, her queen, hide in her own highly emotional bubble. “But all I’ve done is watch everything collapse. And now, even Airi has died.”

 

Amia used to be a dark mage. Haruka remembered.

 

“Why should I trust that you aren’t the same thing that killed Airi? The same mage who will terrorise everyone?”

 

Mizuki dropped Airi’s corpse, her mind unable to comprehend being called out for her wickedness.

 

We’ve all been played by a dark mage, haven’t we? All of us… we’ve been tricked into feeding this monster’s plans.

 

I can’t let this happen.

 

“I’m not…” Mizuki began, clutching her throat. “Him…!”

 

“Amia-” Shizuku tried to grab onto Amia’s wrist, but she couldn’t let her.

 

“I’m sorry…!” Amia hissed out, admitting that she still was a dark mage.

 

You killed Airi…

 

YOU KILLED AIRI!

 

YOU’RE THE REASON SHE IS DEAD!

 

“I will kill you, Dark mage!” Haruka arched her staff; her mind covered in greif. “For killing Airi…!”

 

“I will be back, Mizuki.” Haruka lowered her sword, knowing she couldn’t fight a dark mage. She’ll avenge Airi too, one day.

 

Haruka let Amia run.

 

She’d kill her one day.

 

“Amia… is a dark mage…?” Shizuku’s eyes grew wide.

 

“I thought she no longer was one, but she…” Haruka couldn’t help the guilt eating at her.

 

I let her kill Airi. I let Airi die.

 

“We have to tell Minori and leave.” Haruka realised. “We have to get far away from here.”

 

Shizuku scooped up Airi’s corpse, holding her friend with such care.

 

But Airi was already dead.

 

“Shizuku, I…” Haruka choked on her words. I can’t tell her. I can’t just say that there’s no use. Not yet. I… I can’t let her destroy herself.

 

“We’re going to the alliance after we tell Minori everything.”

 

Shizuku nodded. “There’s… really nothing we can do, is there?”

 

Haruka’s silence was all she needed.

 

Haruka was the first to knock on Minori’s door, if skeptical and nervously so.

 

“Minori…” Shizuku’s shaken voice peeked through.

 

“Airi’s dead.”

 

Notes:

WHY DO THE DAMN ITALICS AND BOLDS NOT SHOW UP WHEN I COPY FROM MY PHONE UGH.

Now I have to spend 20 minutes in the formatting stage… ugh… :(

Chapter 80

Notes:

I should NOT be writing this on a school night as my holidays have just ended and it’s midnight. BUT I love Ichishiho. So…

SHIT I HAVE TO DO THOSE STUPID FUCKING ITALICS AGAIN YOURE KIDDING ME COME ON

 

“Here.” Uttered Shiho, her brow once marked with grease, her hands laced with callouses from last night. Shiho was already caped into her regular uniform as captain of the white knights, but she still felt the dust fall across her shoulders – she still could see the flickering candle as she scratched out the blueprint.

 

And yet, she wouldn’t change anything. Not when she finally saw the smile of the one she loved so much.

 

Ichika took a sturdy look at the white silver embellished hand, her eyes gleaming with adoration as she slid her new hand underneath her shoulder, finally able to move her arm for the first time.

 

I’d do anything for you, Ichika. Shiho knew that, in the deepest pit of her soul, this was the only truth she’d ever know.

 

Every night she came back to that warehouse from the countless meetings, she’d remember how Ichika embraced her on that hill, begging to Shiho to believe that she’d stay by her side.

 

And she did, did she? Shiho gave her that choice countless times. And Ichika still stayed.

 

“I… love it.” Ichika began, tears springing to her tired eyes. She too was exhausted from the week of leading the alliance. They both had done so much while Shizuku and Airi were gone. They are supposed to come back soon, actually, Shiho recalled.

 

“Does it fit well?” Shiho took another look at the metal bands, the unique hinges for each plate staying put, just as Shiho had intended.

 

“It does,” Ichika nodded. “I’m sure when Shizuku and Airi come back, I’ll be able to practice with it.”

 

“No need to be so quick to train, Ichika.” Shiho reminded the mage. “We’re not going to war.”

 

Ichika, while hesitant, nodded her head. Her eyes gazed out onto the horizon once more, the lush fields of the alliance no longer painted in snow like they used to. It was slowly becoming warmer by the day, and to say that Ichika wasn’t used to the change would be an understatement.

 

“I’m sorry, my knight, I just… keep forgetting that I can put all of that behind me.” Ichika reminded Shiho, but the real person she wished to remind was herself.

 

“Hey, think about everything that’s happened,” Shiho outstretched her hand, her eyes looming out at the sun. “Maybe, since Shizuku and Airi are coming back today, we can finally… relax.”

 

It was a foreign word to Shiho, ‘relaxing’. A strange concept, to let go of any duty and indulge in quite literally everything someone could want was so… strange. It sounded so… posh, like rich people could only afford to relax because they didn’t have to fight for their lives. Well, maybe some did, but-

 

“Airi and Shizuku are coming back today?” Ichika gasped. “I-I almost forgot about it!” She cheered, grabbing Shiho’s wrist with her newfound hand.

 

They weren’t far from the gates, and yet, Ichika still ran back into the alliance without a second thought.

 

“We don’t know… when they’ll… be here,” huffed Shiho, out of breath from catching up with Ichika.

 

“I know, I know, but I want to greet them when they get here.” Ichika grinned, finally able to pull both of her hands together. “I can’t wait to show them the hand you made me, too!”

 

Right. Shiho remembered. It’s been a week since we saw them. I wonder if Airi will find the hand I made interesting. Shiho wondered. She may be really straightforward and headstrong, but I kind of miss her.

 

“Wait, is that…” Ichika’s eyes widened, her mouth agape as she stepped closer to the entry gate.

 

They’re really here. Shiho realised.

 

“They’re home.” The words escaped Shiho’s mouth as she took heavy steps towards the carriage.

 

“Home…” Ichika repeated, grinning ear to ear.

 

So then, when the carriage finally stopped at the gate and Shizuku emerged, did Airi not join her?

 

Shiho took another look at the other people there – she couldn’t identify them, but they were definitely people who came to the Alliance from other places. One had brown hair and a massive bag lugged to their back, and the other had blue hair, cut short, with piercing eyes.

 

“Shiho…!” Shizuku exclaimed, her eyes wide, stricken with a sickening feeling hiding behind the false smile. “You’re safe… ah, both of you are safe…!”

 

“O-of course we would be,” Shiho frowned, trying to hold herself together.

 

“Uh, Shizuku…” Ichika looked out at the carriage. “Where’s Airi?”

 

Shizuku fell silent, her gaze hazed over with a pain only greif could answer.

 

“She’s… gone.” Shizuku admitted, her voice weak.

 

No.

 

NO.

 

NO!

 

“You’re lying.” Shiho spat out, pacing backwards. “Tell me you’re lying.”

 

Ichika was no different from Shiho, her body frozen in place, wilted from dread. “Who… would do such a thing…? Did Saki attack her…? Has the war started…?” Her mind raced.

 

“It wasn’t the princess, Ichika. It was an infection… in her arm, from a dark mage,” tears streamed from Shizuku’s eyes, her body unable to stop shaking. “She told me she’d be okay…!”

 

Shiho knew what happened.

 

They wanted to hurt Shiho psychologically by attacking the people she cared about.

 

They wanted her to run away from it all.

 

You did it once before, trying to kill Sis. Shiho remembered. I know what you’re doing, you…!

 

“Those pathetic…” Shiho began, her voice plunged with malice. “Monsters!”

 

“Was anyone else hurt? Are you…?” Ichika’s voice trembled. “Please, don’t tell me you’re dying too!”

 

“It’s only… Airi…” Shizuku let out a shaken exhale. “But, as soon as it happened, my friends fled here.” She looked back.

 

“Haruka?” Ichika’s eyes grew wide from shock. “Minori too?” She gasped.

 

“Airi…” Haruka – the blue haired girl – pulled her hand to her chest. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Shiho didn’t know what to believe – all of this, and for what? Why would those damned Dark Mages even stoop to these lows? Why would they do this to Airi? Did they even know who Airi was?

 

“We can’t attack them,” Shiho uttered, trying to keep the idea of death off of her mind.

 

But you’ll die by their hand next, Shiho.

 

“But others will also die like Airi-chan,” uttered the brown haired girl, Minori.

 

“No, Shiho’s right.” Haruka nodded. “I’ve been on almost every side of Imperia to know that no one can stop them.”

 

If only Airi was here, she’d know what to do.

 

But she’s…

 

“I can’t watch anyone else die,” Ichika admitted. “If only…”

 

“Sis, I think we need some time to think about this.” Shiho requested. She knew where all of this was going. She needed to help Ichika. She needed to… rest.

 

To relax. Even if it wasn’t possible.

 

“But we need to plan an attack, and I need to train,” Ichika’s mind fell back into her training regimen.

 

“Ichika…” Shizuku placed a hand on Ichika’s shoulder. “Rest. All of us will handle it.”

 

Shiho could sense the pain in Shizuku’s voice, but she knew her sister. She knew that Shizuku was trying her best. Everyone was.

 

And yet…

 

Shiho still felt Airi’s absence.

 

She’s really gone.

 

Shiho began walking to her home, with Ichika following despite her ever-omniscient thoughts plaguing her.

 

But Shiho couldn’t cry. She was a soldier who needed to simply accept death.

 

I… can’t cry.

 

But Shiho was a child. A teenager. A human still developing.

 

“…!” Shiho felt tears prickle against her eyes.

 

I’m just a kid..! And Airi’s now dead…!

 

“Shiho,” Ichika looked over at the knight, concern spreading to her every fibre.

 

Shiho didn’t respond. Not when the tears continued to fall.

 

“It’s okay…” Ichika whispered.

 

And slowly, she wrapped her arms around Shiho, embracing her with such love and care.

 

“They keep taking everyone away…” Shiho admitted, gripping onto Ichika. “They keep killing then people I care about…!”

 

“Who knows when they’ll kill you, Ichika!” Shiho spluttered between sobs. “I- I don’t want you to die too…!”

 

“And I won’t,” Ichika held tight to the embrace. “There’s no more war.”

 

“Ichika…” Shiho felt her tremors be blanketed against the warmth of Ichika, even if she too was still grieving.

 

“I’m so proud of you.” Shiho whispered. “So proud…”

 

“We’ll get through it,” Ichika reminded Shiho, just as she used to.

 

We will survive.

Notes:

Wrote this in one sitting. Took 3 hours. I’ve listened to ‘just a man’ from epic the musical this entire time. Autism has, in fact, activated.

Chapter 81

To say it was awkward between Haruka and Ichika was terribly an understatement. Not only were meetings a drag, but the mere act of seeing Haruka after what she did was… something, to say the least.

 

“I’m sorry, Shiho,” Ichika began. She knew how much Airi’s death hurt her. She knew the pain that flooded through her veins from the sheer grief, and yet, she was too fussed about childish matters.

 

“Never mind.” Ichika muttered to herself. She didn’t want to bother her.

 

“Tell me.” Shiho responded, placing a hand on Ichika’s shoulder. “Is it about Haruka?”

 

Ichika looked back down at her hand.

 

Haruka was the one who shot the arrow. Haruka was the one who let that soldier rip her arm off.

 

Haruka was the one who let Honami terrorise and hurt everyone.

 

“I hate her,” Ichika didn’t want to admit it. She hated saying that she hated people. She wanted to give Haruka the benefit of the doubt, to put it behind her, but a part of her still could feel the betrayal.

 

“But I… don’t want to hate her.”

 

Ichika was confused. She hated this. All she wanted was to understand what was going on – to hear Haruka’s side and understand the reasons behind what she had done, but looking back down at her arm caused a distinct dissonance between her and understanding.

 

“…” Shiho didn’t respond. After all, this was Ichika’s problem. Something she had to sort out.

 

“You don’t need to know.” Shiho answered, plain and simple. “…Shizuku told me she was the one who found Airi’s body. That the people in Shinonome were hiding her death.”

 

Shiho grew quiet, her eyes downcast. “I hate that I miss Momoi.”

 

Ichika watched as Shiho tried to act with rationality, trying to keep herself from tears.

 

It had been three days since Momoi’s death had arrived to greet them, and every time Shiho spared a moment of silence, Ichika could see her own grief attach itself to her feelings and rattle with her from the inside out.

 

And seeing Shiho like this, a numb, lost mess, was deeply unsettling for Ichika.

 

Every time Shiho had panicked, it had been due to previous encounters. But this time, Shiho was filled with despair. Complete, utter despair.

 

Ichika didn’t want this. No one did. But Airi’s death was never anyone’s fault. She died by the hands of a mage who infected her. She died, knowing that it would happen.

 

…And, in reality, Ichika had slowly come to terms with death.

 

Saki was the reason for both her fears and acceptance. In fear, she watched Saki barely even walk, let alone speak during those years she was recovering from the damage Shiho did. And in acceptance, from the way her own hand plunged into the heart of Saki’s.

 

At least Airi had died, knowing that she wasn’t a monster. That she did everything that she truly wanted in life.

 

“Shiho, do you ever think that Momoi… regretted death?” Ichika began. It was a sharp question, one that would inevitably leave Shiho to grapple with the depravity she had welcomed in the face of grief.

 

“…Huh?” Shiho mumbled, her voice watery, yet strained.

 

“You know, regretted not doing everything she wanted.” Ichika explained, if poorly so. “Out of everyone here, I’d say she… died happy.”

 

It was poorly worded, and there wasn’t much of a leg for Ichika to stand on, but she still tried to explain her point.

 

“Airi wouldn’t be scared.” Shiho pulled her hand into a fist, her words careful, as if speaking about Airi was disrespectful to the life she lead.

 

“She’s not one to even think about death as an end.” Shiho uttered. “But, no matter how hard I try to reason with it, with the fact she’s gone, I can’t help but wonder if… she ever wanted to see the days after she died.”

 

“What do you mean by that?” Ichika asked, turning to her lover compassionately.

 

“Did Airi… want to die?” Shiho’s voice cracked. “Did she just get… bored of life?”

 

“I… don’t think so.” Ichika slowly allowed her opinion to slip through. “Because she cared too much for people like us to believe that she needed to die.”

 

There was a tense pause left when Ichika finished her sentence. She wished she could explain her point and do it justice, but no matter how many words she used, there were none to explain her feelings.

 

Until, finally, she understood it.

 

“Death doesn’t mean that… we end our stories. Just because the fact that someone else has died doesn’t mean we also do.”

 

Ichika took in a deep breath, looking down at the floor. “When I killed Saki, I felt like… everything I ever did was useless. Like killing her meant nothing.” She began. “But, in the carriage ride home, I realised that… just because Saki died doesn’t mean I die alongside her.”

 

“…” Shiho’s lack of a response was difficult for Ichika to deal with. Did she misspeak? Did she do anything wrong? Was she selfish for this?

 

“I…” Shiho began, her tone hesitant. “I need a moment.”

 

I did something wrong.

 

I did something wrong.

 

Shiho got up from her couch, her arms tugging at her elbows as she trailed outside.

 

Ichika got up, but she wasn’t quick enough to truly do anything.

 

But… something did fall out of Shiho’s pocket. A small note.

 

To Shiho Hinomori,

 

We hope this letter finds you well. We are STANDOUT, a mercenary group from the Shinonome Queendom. This letter will act as your invitation to our community, if you wish to join.

 

Give this letter to any form of knight from Shinonome, and you will officially join. Us at STANDOUT do not expect you to join immediately.

 

Sincerely, Mio, Iori, and Saku.

 

 

“What…” Ichika gasped, her eyes wide. “Shiho’s… leaving?”

 

Ichika crumpled the paper in her fingertips, fresh tears garnishing themselves across Ichika’s face.

 

She’s leaving me.

 

She’s… leaving me.

Notes:

to be fair i did warn yall i wanted more Ichishiho angst

Chapter 82

Notes:

YALL THE MINO6 CARDS???? OMG RIGHT AFTER I KILLED AIRI THEY BRING HER BACK AS A 3*

Also I’ll be filling/manager-ing for a friend of mine for their first tier for chase my ideal idol after the LN WL, so chapters may or may not be a little slow soon.

Shiho didn’t know where she was. All she knew was that she had left her home, and just… continued walking.

 

All the knight could think about was Airi. The absence of her, the loss of her life, and the way that, despite everything, Airi was the one to die.

 

I never wanted this. Shiho felt her heart heave. I know you didn’t want to die.

 

Shiho wasn’t one to let her own grief overpower her. When Miu died, all she felt was rage. But she never lost her own emotions.

 

And yet, when Airi died… she felt hopeless. She should’ve done something. Been there. She should’ve been able to protect Airi from her.

 

Because she knew who did it.

 

Kohane.

 

And, because she knew, she held the blame.

 

“…Shiho?”

 

The knight knew that voice. That didn’t mean she wanted to hear it, though.

 

“Kaito, surely there’s a better time for this.” Shiho hissed.

 

The god shuffled, placing his hands behind him, slowly reaching Shiho’s eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, Shiho.” Kaito began. “But, I sense your constellation is… drifting.”

 

Shiho, blinded by grief, huffed out a rugged sigh. “It doesn’t matter.”

 

“…” Kaito held his breath, his star-lit hand slowly outstretching, resting on Shiho’s shoulder. “Do you want to forget her…?”

 

“What?” Shiho turned her eyes over to Kaito. “Forget Airi? What, are you insane?”

 

“No.” Kaito shook his head. “Kohane.”

 

Shiho paused, the wind falling against her sides as she was presented with an offer. An offer she could not refuse, no less.

 

And yet, with Kaito offering this, Shiho slowly began to wonder if it truly was possible.

 

Until-

 

“You made this deal for me to forget Ichika, didn’t you.” Shiho realised, her eyes wide. “You were the one who did it.”

 

Kaito nodded his head as if it was common knowledge, wordless as he affirmed Shiho’s suspicions.

 

Shiho felt her throat constrict. She knew that forgetting Ichika would’ve been necessary. That, back then, she needed to do that to survive. And yet, guilt still writhed against Shiho.

 

“I…” Shiho didn’t know what to say. She was able to avoid her guilt and live without remembering Kohane. It was an offer that would only ever benefit her.

 

But she didn’t want to mindlessly forget by the acts of a god. She didn’t want to be controlled by her own perception.

 

Because, the last time she made this deal, it was the one true person she loved that she hurt.

 

“I can’t just use divine intervention to fix my fucking problems.” Shiho spat out. “I don’t care that my damn constellation is fading.”

 

Kaito paused once more, his arms sunken, his eyes dejected.

 

“…I can remove the fact that you know it was Kohane.” Kaito offered once more. “You will still remember her, but this… guilt…”

 

Kaito shut his eyes, almost as if it was paining him.

 

“I… can’t do that.” Shiho huffed out. “I want to figure myself out. I-I get that it hurts, but I don’t want you to magically fix my problems.”

 

“It’s okay.” Kaito whispered, his eyes filled with such deep, compassionate emotions. He was the god of human emotion, one tied to deep feeling, held together with his own humanity. He once was human, after all.

 

“Farewell, Shiho.” Kaito uttered, waving his hand – a small gesture, but not for him.

 

Kaito disappeared in small sparks, his remnants being Shiho’s memories.

 

“Sort things out yourself, huh?”

 

Small droplets of blood slid down her ankles. Shiho felt her heart quicken, her eyes wide at the voice before her.

 

Airi.

 

“You’re alive!?” Shiho hissed out, her hands trembling as she slowly inched closer. “I-I thought you died, they told me that you…!”

 

“Shiho,” Airi responded, but her mouth didn’t move. “How are you sure?”

 

“I-I heard them, they said that…” Shiho began. In many ways, Airi was her mentor, a person she relied on to live. And, in just as many ways, her heart begged to see Airi face her again.

 

But… why? Why did this feel so wrong? Why did she hesitate? Why did Airi not move?

 

Shiho took another step, trying to reach out to Airi’s shoulder and show her the grace she deserved.

 

“Shiho,” Airi uttered, but her voice was cold. “Why are you so emotional? You’re a reckless murderer.”

 

Shiho jolted backwards, her eyes fluttering with panic. “No,” she muttered. Begged. “No, I didn’t kill you…!”

 

“…did you?”

 

Shiho felt dazed. None of this felt real. “But you’re… Airi, are you…?”

 

“Just as I thought.” Airi huffed, turning around, leaving Shiho unable to see her eyes. “You never change from that bothersome child, don’t you.”

 

“No, Airi!” Shiho begged. “I’m not that kid anymore! I… I promise…!”

 

She wasn’t rational. She couldn’t see anything beyond her blinded emotions. She was a needy kid, begging for a scrap of closure and affection that Airi stole in her absence.

 

“Airi… you’re my friend,” Shiho choked out, running towards the magenta-haired knight.

 

But…

 

She disappeared.

 

She was gone again.

 

She was gone… again.

 

“No,” Shiho spluttered out. “Airi, come back…! Come back!”

 

There was no response.

 

“Airi! I’m not that… I’m not…!” Shiho’s voice cracked, her hands scrambling. “I’m not… a bothersome child…”

 

Shiho felt so… numb. She fell to her knees, her arms clutching her chest, where her heart remained.

 

“You’re really gone…” Shiho whispered, her voice fractured. “That wasn’t real.”

 

Shiho wiped her tears, tearing her body off of the ground, trying to stabilise herself. Everything felt so… overwhelming. And yet, there were no feelings to show.

 

Shiho looked around. She was in a grass field, not too far away from home.

 

Home…

 

“Ichika,” Shiho gasped. “She- she must be worried, and I…” Shiho spat out frantically. Shit. Shit. Shit!

 

Shiho began running, her body tearing against itself, aching and sore from exhaustion. She could deal with it. She couldn’t deal with Ichika believing yet another thing was her fault, though.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho shouted, running amongst the cobblestone. “Ichika, I’m so sorry,” she rasped.

 

But she was yet to reach the house. Calling out for Ichika would be useless, wouldn’t it?

 

Shiho shut her mouth, simply trying to find her route home.

 

She had to get to Ichika.

 

She had to.

 

“Ichika, I…” Shiho began, opening the door to her home, her thoughts lightheaded.

 

But Ichika was holding something.

 

A note.

 

“Shiho…” Ichika didn’t look over. Her eyes were red from crying. Her hands trembled. Her hair was a mess.

 

“Are you leaving me for Standout.”

Notes:

I haven’t written a hallucination in a hot minute ngl so here we are

Shiho casually having two dead friends both equally causing her to hallucinate real

Also next chapter will be fully exploring Shiho’s past with Miu. Do be prepared and patient with me. We’re in for a wild ride

Chapter 83

Notes:

Long time no chapter, huh? I know, a week is such a long time... however, I will say, this chapter is pretty long. Finally gonna characterise Miu with this one

[Nine years earlier]

 

The labyrinth was quiet, hidden amongst the tunnels inside caves – a network made of all mages who were too much for society to handle.

 

Shiho was one of these said mages, with the ability to paralyse anyone and anything. An affinity that was able to stop people from moving, breathing, and merely existing.

 

Shiho was classified as a rare case – most paralysis affinities were able to live out on the surface, as their abilities did not affect living things. But Shiho’s did. And, with her body holding an influx of SoulDust, she was scouted out by the soon-to-be leader of all ‘dark mages’, Tagaki Miu.

 

The Tagaki family were some of the last remaining original dark mages before sworn silence – a mass wipeout of all dark mage kind. And the most important detail for the labyrinth-bound mages had occurred during sworn silence: the inability to communicate with affinities without dying completely.

 

However, throughout Shiho’s time as a mage and truly meeting her people, she learnt that Miu didn’t want to do any of this. She didn’t want to get revenge on the gods. She wanted to simply exist.

 

Miu was the one who let Shiho practice chivalry and using swords in secret. She was the one who had the most freedom out of all mages in the labyrinth. And, most importantly, she let Shiho see the surface in the daytime.

 

“I’m sorry that you didn’t get to go outside last week,” Miu began, her eyes downturned. She was always softspoken, guarded despite being five years old.

 

“I don’t mind.” Shiho responded, twirling the new weapon Miu had found for her. “They didn’t get me to do much.”

 

“…Good.” Miu nodded her head, hiding under a tree, watching Shiho carefully. There was a high chance that people would suspect Miu more than Shiho, so whenever they did go outside, Miu opted to hide.

 

“Hey, Miu,” Shiho slowly stopped her swings, facing the short-haired mage. “Do you think we’ll ever escape the labyrinth?”

 

Miu remained quiet, just as she always would. Her lips were pursed shut, and her eyes stationed themselves to the ground. “You could.” She muttered. “But even if I escape, my affinity won’t let me.”

 

To Miu, her own existence as a mage was nothing more than a curse. There was no specific limitation to her affinity. She could break bones with a flick of her wrist. Steal a person’s SoulDust just by being near them. Hell, if she wanted to, she could stop time itself.

 

That was the curse of her existence – with so much to her name, so much that she could provide, her own life was never able to balance it. She could never live without knowing that she was a force of nature.

 

Miu had seen almost everywhere in Imperia, travelled since she was born, and had seen so many things that most would never even see in their lifetimes.

 

All because Miu was born into the Tagaki name, she had to hold this affinity to death itself.

 

Shiho sat down next to Miu. She hated when all people saw in Miu was her affinity. Miu was still a person, and no one ever believed she had the capacity to hold a sliver of humanity.

 

“You’re still a person,” Shiho huffed out frustratedly. “Seriously, why don’t people see it?”

 

Miu didn’t respond. It was normal for her to go quiet, even when she knew the answer.

 

“If I could, I’d trade my affinity with yours.” Shiho remarked confidently. “Even if it meant I’d die, I don’t care. You deserve to live just as much as I do.”

 

“…” Miu’s gaze shifted.

 

“That is possible.” Miu admitted, even if her tone was unsure. “It… can work.”

 

Shiho sat next to Miu, underneath the tree that hid both mages. She never knew there could be a way to trade affinities.

 

“But I don’t want to hurt you. You’ll suffer hallucinations if I’m not near you. Question reality. Lose your life.” Miu iterated, her voice shrill. “…Even if you want to do it, there’s a chance you could die.”

 

“So what?” Huffed Shiho, unwavering. “I can’t keep watching you go through this. You’re just like Shizu-”

 

Shiho stopped herself before she could finish, pulling a shaken hand to her mouth.

 

Shizuku was dead, wasn’t she?

 

“…Who?” Miu asked, her eyes still plastered to the ground.

 

“Stop talking about her!” Shiho erupted. “Stop it! Stop it!” She shrieked.

 

To lose her sister so young, it would’ve been hard for anyone. But Shiho wanted to forget it all. She hated realising that she’d never see her sister again.

 

“I’m not talking.” Miu responded, holding her breath. “…I’m sorry.”

 

“You better,” Shiho huffed back. “Don’t ever, ever mention this again.” Shiho retaliated, still in shock.

 

“I won’t.” Miu closed her eyes. “I promise.”

 

A wave of guilt bit back at Shiho from her emotional outburst. She had done just what she wanted to stop, hadn’t she?

 

“Miu.” Shiho bit her tongue, twiddling with her thumbs. “I-If you trade your affinity, I’ll tell you about… y’know…” Shiho rasped out the words, trying to stay calm as best she could.

 

“…” Miu remained silent, drawing a symbol in the grass out of boredom and contemplation. “Okay.”

 

Miu looked up from the ground, her eyes calloused, yet caring. “Who is Shizu?”

 

Shiho felt a wave of tears attack her. Stop, stop, stop, she repeated, but she made a deal.

 

Do it for Miu. For your first friend.

 

“Shizuku is my sister,” Shiho took in a jagged breath of air. “She and I travelled through Imperia.”

 

“…Is that it?” Miu asked, but not out of malice.

 

“No.” Shiho’s lips trembled. “She died.”

 

There was a stifling silence that accompanied the two of them. Shiho tried her best to quell her emotions, while Miu simply thought, knowing well that she’d never run out of her own mind’s messages.

 

“Wouldn’t she want you to live, if we do this?” Miu questioned, her voice meeker than before.

 

“It doesn’t matter. If I die, I’ll get to see her. If I live, I get to see you.” Shiho answered. It was a fair philosophy; one she understood in the depths of her own calloused, disgusting heart.

 

“Hm.” Miu nodded her head, adding small details to the symbol. “Okay then.”

 

Miu tapped the symbol with her whole hand, pulling her hand up slowly as shadows drooled from her fingertips, sparking with glitches and noise.

 

This was how people traded affinities.

 

“Shiho Hinomori…” Miu began, her eyes angled at Shiho with ornate precision. “Oqu… Soul.”

 

Miu grabbed onto both of Shiho’s hands, slowly shutting her eyes. Shiho didn’t know what to think – it was all so overstimulating, the flashing lights, the eerie patterns, and the way Miu’s limbs grew blackened and cold, marking her own veins.

 

“Miu-!” Shiho uttered, dazed and lost, brewing with adrenaline. “W-what do I do?”

 

Miu only grinned, a rare sight for Shiho. “Wake up.” Miu instructed, prompting Shiho to shut her eyes and see what would happen when she opened them.

 

Was it almost done? Was she trading her affinity?

 

Shiho tried closing and opening her eyes, but nothing worked. She tried to do it rapidly, open her eyes wider, but nothing worked.

 

“M-Miu, how do I wake up!?” Shiho begged her friend.

 

But there was no reply.

 

“Miu… Miu, stop being stupid!” Shiho begged, gripping her hands tighter. “I don’t know what’s going on! Tell me what to do!”

 

Shiho tore her arms off of Miu, but a glass-like string attached her back to her friend. Shiho tried to take it off by force, but it didn’t work.

 

“Wait,” Shiho’s eyes flickered. Maybe she didn’t need to wake up, but she needed to wake Miu up.

 

Shiho channelled her affinity, letting it run through her veins. She relaxed both hands, taking in calm, laboured breaths.

 

One… two…

 

Three.

 

Miu awoke with a thud, her body falling to the ground, no longer infested with darkened veins or glass strings. Shiho felt her balance sweep off of her, sending her to the ground, just like Miu.

 

“Did it work?” Shiho asked. “Did we do it?”

 

Miu looked back down at her own hands, a small shaking sensation coming over her.

 

“Yes.” Miu nodded. “But… we didn’t trade affinities.”

 

“What?!” Shiho shouted, outraged. “But- But-!”

 

“You now also own my affinity, Shiho.” Miu nodded her head. “And I own yours.”

 

“But… you still own your affinity, then!” Shiho exclaimed in frustration. “It didn’t work,” She pouted.

 

“It… did.” Miu answered, denying Shiho’s pessimism. “If we aren’t near each other, I won’t have my affinity. And if you’re not near me, you won’t have your affinity.”

 

Shiho’s bitter frustration slowly shifted to surprise, then to relief. “You don’t have your affinity anymore.”

 

…

 

The process of telling the Tagaki family the news was… difficult, at first. They had berated Shiho and screamed at her, which was normal. Miu made up an excuse that she had tried to make a buffing incantation but mixed up the words, which her family believed, but still reprimanded her from going outside on the surface.

 

As for everyone else, An had found a new recruit on this day, named Kohane, so the Tagaki family were more-or-so focussed on that than anything. Miu began to convince her parents to let Shiho use a sword to disguise her affinity, which also worked.

 

The weeks after were a blur to Shiho. She was finally using a sword, learning how to get in touch with Miu’s affinity, and teaching Miu how to paralyse things. Other than that, she was finally opening up to Miu as well, and understanding the people around her.

 

In the year passing, though, Miu and Shiho were given a task together. An important one, at that. To pose as White Knight representees and assassinate the new princess.

 

Little did she know that would mean losing Miu in the process.

 

…

 

“Miu, are you sure that we will do it today?” Shiho asked, fitting herself back into that strange uniform.

 

“Yes.” Miu nodded. “It will prove to my parents that I’ll be able to live on the surface. That I’ll be normal.”

 

“And if we fail?” Shiho quirked a brow.

 

“Hide in the alliance, report the situation, and survive.”

 

Both Miu and Shiho knew these orders. They both knew what could happen. They knew the consequences.

 

The walls of the Tenma castle was harsh, a blinding colour unlike the ones both of them were used to. Shiho was calm and confident, while Miu was hiding from beyond the guards’ views. Shiho just needed to locate the princess, paralyse her, and let Miu find and assassinate Saki.

 

It was a simple deal. The Tenma kingdom had another heir. The mere existence of a separate one such as Saki eluded Shiho more than anything, but she supposed that it made sense.

 

Shiho continued walking through the hallway, but it was drawing unnecessarily long. Shiho usually walked over to greet Miu in the morning, since Miu was completely undercover and wasn’t seen from the public.

 

Shiho looked up at the stained glass of the castle, noticing a unique art of the goddess Rin with white horns. …White horns? Weird. Guess that her appearance is up to interpretation though.

 

“…!” Shrieked a noise, sending shivers down Shiho’s spine.

 

What was that, Shiho’s mind began to race. Had Miu succeeded? Had Saki been assassinated? Or was it something else, like Ichika, that strange knight, or Honami, that little-goody-two-shoes’ death?

 

Shiho felt her mind pound with aches, swelling with discomfort. She could hear things like laughter, but it didn’t feel real. She could see countless shadows painting her vision, attaching themselves to Shiho.

 

“What…” Shiho began, but just as she turned the corner, she fell to her knees.

 

Miu…

 

MIU…

 

MIU…!

 

Blood swarmed Shiho’s vision as she watched Saki’s glass-adorned hand stab deep into Miu’s flesh over and over and over again.

 

It glittered. Blotched. Miu’s blood was darker than most, patterned with burdens. Patterned with loss. Patterned with… with…

 

Shiho didn’t speak. Her voice ran dry. Her eyes grew dark. Miu’s blood grew glossy, like silken fabric woven through her fingers, sliding, sloshing, staining.

 

Sheathed was Shiho’s heart, now exposed with all that truly was. Sheathed was Miu’s glade, her home, her people, now with Shiho lost beyond all that is.

 

Shiho didn’t want this.

 

She didn’t want Miu to die.

 

“No…” Shiho rushed to Miu. To the corpse.

 

First Shizuku, then Miu.

 

Shiho would never escape death.

 

“You…” Shiho seethed, scrambling to toss out her sword.

 

But Saki was gone, without saying anything.

 

“Miu…!” Shiho hissed, tears streaming against her cheeks, mixing with blood that would never wash from her face. “No, no… no…” Shiho felt her throat heave with air. “I… can’t… watch…”

 

Shiho wanted to give up.

 

Shiho wanted to escape.

 

But her soul was bound to Miu’s, was it not?

 

“It is bound,” Uttered a dismembered voice, cooing from behind her. “You’ll die soon after her too.”

 

“Who are-” Shiho swivelled her head around, seeing… Miu.

 

“You’re not real,” Shiho chanted. “YOURE NOT REAL!”

 

The vision of Miu dissipated, escaping her eyes.

 

Everything would always grow cold. Every step hidden behind the weaves. Every person, dismembered or not, would become a blur to Shiho.

 

She needed to run. But she couldn’t.

 

She needed to escape…

 

But her body wouldn’t move.

 

Shiho felt her arms shift as she lifted her hands off of Miu’s corpse. She looked back at Miu’s overworn coat, the thick fabric hiding her from the world.

 

Shiho stole Miu’s coat, sliding it onto her arms, despite it slowly being soaked with Miu’s blood. Shiho just needed to go, to escape.

 

She needed to live.

 

Even if it wasn’t worth it.

 

There was no reason for her to fear the life she had been dealt, after all.

 

Because she had nothing left to lose anymore.

 

Her steps were heavy, her eyes loose, her body trembling backwards.

 

Go to the alliance.

 

Go somewhere no one can find me.

 

Go…

 

Home.

 

…

 

Shiho’s trek from the Tenma castle to the borders and off the beaten path was, quite honestly, exactly what she expected. Cold and uncomfortable, while she used Miu’s coat to keep her warm.

 

She tried her best to stir away from people. Seeing the sight of a young child such as Shiho trying to escape with a coat worn of dark mages and a uniform akin to the alliance was bound to confuse everyone she came across, especially since she was still close to Tenma.

 

Sometimes, though, she’d attempt to try and use Miu’s affinity to navigate the world. While she was slowly losing both of her affinities due to Miu’s death, she could still try and harness it, even if it hurt doing so.

 

The crunching of leaves and the discomfort of the cold was all that Shiho knew. She fiddled with Miu’s coat on certain occasions, finding small notes in her pockets.

 

However, this time, Shiho pulled out a note of parchment scribbled with her name on it.

 

“What,” Shiho hissed, her eyes wide in the rain. Her fingers flexed on the paper, crunching and creasing it, despite how precious it truly was.

 

Shiho flipped open the note, her heart clenching.

 

Shiho. Here are the words I could never tell you.

 

My family cursed the lineage of Tenma to collapse on the fiftieth era.

 

Shiho’s eyes grew wide reading through the note.

 

But whenever my parents told me to view the future,

 

To see if the destruction would be worth,

 

I saw a different truth.

 

I know you are reading this, on the border of the alliance.

 

And Shiho, I want you to live for me.

 

Shiho didn’t know what to say, her eyes wide reading all of it.

 

This was why Miu never spoke about her affinity, despite being so unbearably powerful.

 

She truly did know everything. She knew she would die. She even revealed what would happen.

 

Shiho continued to read.

 

Saki is dangerous.

 

Even though I know what you’re going to do,

 

Just know that I died knowing that it was for you.

 

…I can’t get punished now, can’t I?

 

I guess this is the consequences of life.

 

Thank you, Shiho.

 

For making me believe in a future worth fighting for.

 

And now, I’m giving you a duty,

 

For giving me humanity.

 

Please, live and move on from me.

 

I may be your duty,

 

But she is your heart.

 

…You’ll meet her, one day.

 

Shiho felt her lips tremble.

 

Miu was her only friend. The one person she desperately wanted to live. Someone who was now gone.

 

But, if Miu knew everything, then… who was this person? This girl who was Shiho’s heart?

 

Shiho hated this uncertainty.

 

But she knew that there was a reason behind it all.

 

“I can’t move on, Miu.” Shiho gritted her teeth, trying to shut out the tears. “You expect me to move on?”

 

Shiho knew Miu’s answer to all of this.

 

You have to, Shiho.

 

Shiho looked back at the note, tossing it out into the wind.

 

“I’m moving on now.” Shiho announced, even though Miu couldn’t hear her. “You better be correct, Tagaki.”

 

“…My heart, your duty, whatever…” Shiho muttered sarcastically. “Tell me, Miu, is that what this is?”

 

There would be no response.

 

There never will.

 

All Shiho could do was keep moving.

Notes:

Shiho actually gave that coat, that robe, to Ichika. It's her mages' robe. The one she wore to kill Saki.

This fic actually was originally called 'for the future', but I remembered that's literally Reverse 1999's subtitle so I changed it.

This chapter was the first one ever made for the fic. Yes I'm posting it now. No there was literally no reason as to why I'm posting it except the fact I took way too long

Chapter 84

Notes:

Y'all are getting fed i swear

 

“Are you… leaving me,” Ichika repeated. Her voice was harsh. Her tone was lost. Her eyes, gazing back and forth at the paper crunching against her grasp.

 

Shiho’s brow was fuddled, lowered as her gaze grew grim. She treaded lightly, looking over at the paper in Ichika’s hands.

 

“I… don’t remember that letter. At all.” Shiho huffed. “I-I know it’s super incriminating,” Shiho’s eyes squinted in contemplation; “But I… I seriously don’t know.”

 

Then why did Ichika feel lost looking back at it? Why did this small note fill her with such dread, even if Shiho denied its existence?

 

“It was in your pocket,” Ichika bartered. Was she crazy? Insane? Was she truly mad, like Honami?

 

“I…” Shiho pulled her hand over her face, her skin pale, drained of all colour. Her eyes were plagued with dark circles that never faded. Her hands shook unnaturally, from both panic and pain.

 

“I don’t know,” Shiho hissed, her voice gravelly, as if she was seconds from tears. “A-a-and now, I’ve put this stress on you.”

 

Shiho’s breaths were jagged, her eyes shut, her lips quivering. “I can’t leave you. I never will. A-Airi would hate me.”

 

“You’re… not leaving me?” Ichika’s eyes grew wide. “Then, what even is this paper…?”

 

“Ichika, I swear, I don’t know what it is,” Shiho begged. “I don’t know who Standout are. I don’t even know who gave me that- that note,”

 

“Shit, I’m a mess,” Shiho realised, catching a glimpse of herself. “Just… chuck the note out.”

 

Shiho limped out of the main foyer, leaving to one of the bathhouses in the alliance.

 

Ichika didn’t know what to think. She hurt Shiho. Again.

 

Was she truly fit to be Shiho’s girlfriend? Was she even helping her? Ichika was only ever giving Shiho stress.

 

No – she needed to make it up to her. She needed to figure something out, to tell Shiho that she was worthy of existing.

 

She knew that staying in their house would do nothing.

 

So, she ran.

 

She ran, knowing that the pain in her chest would never stop.

 

“Shiho!” Ichika yelled, spotting the grey haired girl.

 

I need to prove to her that I get to exist.

 

I need to do something good.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho’s voice was numb. Her fingers were cold as Ichika grasped them. Her eyes were downcast, but still flickered looking back at Ichika.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Ichika admitted, looking at Shiho with guilt. But she was determined to prove to Shiho she was worthy of love.

 

“I’ve hurt you again.” Ichika began, her throat throbbing with pain. “But I… I want to make it up to you. To do anything. Please, Shiho, I promise-”

 

Ichika’s words were cut off with a warm embrace from Shiho. Her hands still remained cold, but behind her icy exterior lied the reason she kept on living.

 

Ichika was stunned. “But all I’ve done is hurt you…” She whispered, her mind lost in contemplation. “All I’ve done… is remind you of Airi…”

 

“Ichika.” Shiho’s voice was firm. “You… you were right.”

 

“About what?” Ichika murmured.

 

“Just because the fact that someone else has died doesn’t mean we also do.” Shiho quoted. “…You’ve only ever helped me.”

 

Ichika had no words, stunned to her own core. All this time, she thought that what she had been doing was wrong. Was it selfish of her to believe this? Was she always going to assume the worst?

 

“I love you, Ichika.” Shiho remarked. It wasn’t some kind of reminder, but out of pure adoration. “More than you could ever know.”

 

Ichika felt warm. There were no other words to explain her contentment.

 

“Let’s go clean ourselves up,” Ichika remarked, ruffling Shiho’s hair. “Just, maybe… we shouldn’t tell Shizuku about this.”

 

“Yeah,” Shiho responded sheepishly.

 

I’m glad I have you with me, Shiho.

Notes:

Sorry for the small chapter today, but I really didn't feel like dragging out the ichishiho angst with a Saki POV in development

Chapter 85

Shiho wouldn’t say she came to terms with Airi’s death, but she would say she was trying to move on. Well, ‘move on’ would be the incorrect term for her.

 

In Ichika’s words, Shiho was simply… learning how to live again.

 

“S-sorry I’m late!” Barged Minori, who huddled with heavy breaths into the meeting room. She pulled out a paper from her enormous bag, sliding it onto the roundtable for all to see.

 

“It’s a note I found a long time ago,” Minori began. “The name is scratched out, but it did predict some stuff that happened!” The brown-haired girl informed hastily.

 

Shiho looked over at the note, her body lost in a cold sweat.

 

Dear S—I—,

 

Here are the words I could never tell you.

 

It all felt so unbearably unfamiliar. But Shiho couldn’t piece it together. So, she kept reading.

 

My family cursed the lineage of Tenma to collapse on the fiftieth era.

 

But whenever my parents told me to view the future,

 

To see if the destruction would be worth,

 

I saw a different truth.

 

“Miu,” Shiho spat out, stepping backwards. “Minori, where the hell did you find this!?”

 

Minori trembled backwards. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean f-for any harm,” She began.

 

Ichika looked over at Shiho, her eyes wide at the mention of Shiho’s forgotten friend.

 

“This… was the last note she ever gave me.” Shiho choked out. “How… how…”

 

“Tagaki? This is that note?” Shizuku perked up, hovering over it.

 

“I found it covered in mud, and I tried to recover it,” Minori began, her eyes downcast. “I’m so sorry, I…”

 

“No, don’t be,” Shizuku comforted, her eyes scanning the paper. “We’re glad to have you here, Minori.”

 

“So this letter was from a dark mage.” Nene observed from the corner. “Didn’t know they wrote letters, honestly.”

 

“Not all of them just teleport.” Haruka bickered. “…Were you once a comrade with a dark mage, Shiho?”

 

Shiho nodded her head. “Miu was one of the leaders. …She’s dead.”

 

Harsh words, words that Shiho had come to terms with.

 

“I’m… sorry.” Haruka whispered. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

 

“What does this note mean by ‘you’ll meet her one day’?” Minori questioned. “If this note was addressed to you, then maybe…”

 

Shiho looked over at Ichika.

 

“Because of Miu, the mages could predict movements. I didn’t realise until this letter that she could predict the future.” Shiho explained. “She was… talking about Ichika.”

 

“Hah, even she knew that you two would somehow end up together,” Nene commented rashly. “Like some damn hide and seek soulmate edition.”

 

“I should probably give this back to you,” Minori handed the note to Shiho.

 

Shiho looked at the note. The same one she tossed to the wind as some kind of stupid child. But Miu would’ve known that it’d come back to Shiho.

 

“Thank you.” Shiho grabbed the paper, looking at the creases that it held, the way her name was meticulously faded to hide the fact it was hers. Miu made it knowing full well what was going on.

 

That’s why Shiho was afraid.

 

Because the destruction Miu talked of wouldn’t be worth it.

 

“What else do you have to offer, Minori?” Shizuku asked, looking back over at her brown-haired friend.

 

“Oh, right!” Minori grinned, fishing another piece of parchment out of her bag. “I found these beads and this locket. I thought nothing of it, but I remembered that one of those labyrinths were near them…”

 

Shiho looked at the beads and the locket sceptically.

 

“Can you open it?” Ichika questioned curiously.

 

“Yup.” Minori nodded, revealing a small orb hidden inside the locket.

 

Oddly enough, Shiho had a small inkling as to what it was.

 

“It could be something that channels energy.” Shiho presumed. “That may mean that their forces are becoming weaker.”

 

“What if it’s… just a small orb?” Nene quirked a brow. “I’ve seen random ass stuff shoved in lockets. It’s probably nothing.”

 

“How about you deal with it, then?” Shiho muttered. “You work in security.”

 

“Hmph.” Nene rolled her eyes, grabbing the locket and the beads. “I’ll be back if I find anything.” She slid out of the meeting room, aware that once she did have a task, there was nothing else she needed to know. She could easily fill herself in and steal anything she wanted.

 

“Nene,” Minori looked back with worry. “Will she be alright to skip the meeting?”

 

“She does this quite often, Minori.” Shizuku nodded. “Did you find anything else?”

 

“No… but I can go for a walk around and write down some notes if needed!” Minori grinned enthusiastically.

 

“No need.” Haruka shook her head. “I… I think we need to figure out the situation in Tenma first.”

 

“Now?” Shiho’s brow furrowed. “I am not letting myself of Ichika go out to Tenma. I will not permit my soldiers, either.”

 

“…” Haruka withdrew, her eyes gazing out into the distance, then at Ichika.

 

But when Shiho looked over to see if Ichika was okay, she could see the pure discomfort bridled underneath her skin and bone.

 

“And quit staring at her.” Shiho narrowed her eyes. “She has every reason to not want to be around you.”

 

“Why?” Shizuku looked back at Shiho, then at Haruka.

 

“She’s the reason my arm is… gone.” Ichika explained.

 

Shizuku was torn, her eyes directed towards Shiho, then to Haruka. She didn’t say anything, only looking over at the table.

 

“I can go to Tenma.” Minori stepped forward. “I am still friendly with them. They don’t know that I’m with the alliance as well.” She offered. “Please, let me do my part.”

 

“We can get a carriage.” Shizuku nodded. “As long as that’s okay with you, Haruka.”

 

“…Yes.”

Notes:

I love writing meetings because each and every one of them aren't actually getting anywhere and are just unpacking emotional baggage

Chapter 86

Notes:

Sorry for the long wait!! My other fics needed serious attention (especially my Mizumafu Kitty AU) and with this fic most likely ending in November or December, chapters may come out slower to lead to the finale. Or rather, finales. A pov for every single character still alive, to end this one hell of a passion project. I’d say it’s pretty epic

“I… can’t face her.”

 

Honami pulled her hands to her face, her eyes covered in her own tears. She tried to look out at the future, at the life she was given, at this future where she was finally herself… but every time, she could only see the betrayal painting Saki’s face.

 

“Amia, please… I don’t know what to do,” Honami began. She had recovered, finally able to roam the palace with the supervision of the queen’s betrothed. “Saki, she… she needs me, but I can’t go there. I don’t know what to… do…” Honami’s voice became weaker, her hands wilting to her sides.

 

“It’s… not my choice. I’d love for you to stay here, but I can’t keep you.” Amia responded. “However, if you really do have the power to stop this war,” Amia looked out onto the distance, her eyes hollow, but still trying to find something. “Then staying here would be useless.”

 

“It’s not the war, it’s Saki.” Honami looked back over at the knight. “She’s my only friend left. Everything she’s ever done hasn’t been her own fault.”

 

Amia paused, her eyes looking back over at Honami with concern. “But she’s responsible for this war.”

 

“But-” Honami bartered, only to shut her mouth. I can’t tell her about Rin. About the curse. About… Saki’s fate.

 

“You know, no deity controls us.” Amia began. “Our circumstances don’t determine our choices. They may explain them, but we must take responsibility.”

 

Her words were burdened, hiding behind guilt that heaved against Amia’s shoulders. Honami knew this – it was the same as Saki’s, the hollow eyes, shadowed face, lost arms clinging to nothing at all – Honami noticed it.

 

“But we are Human.” Honami grabbed onto one of Amia’s hands. Just as she expected, it was cold. “Sometimes, taking responsibility can lead us to excusing others’ actions.”

 

“What if it’s our own actions?” Amia choked out, her voice shaking, if only slightly.

 

“What do you mean?” Honami asked, hoping that Amia would finally allow herself to process things.

 

“They blame me,” Amia’s voice was completely and utterly harsh. She heaved in a heavy breath of air, calming herself. “And I couldn’t do anything, because I… get why they did it.”

 

“Was it your fault, or was it you that was there to show them?” Honami wondered, her eyes holding themselves, stationed directly at Amia’s heavy expression.

 

“…” Amia seized her breath, her eyes fluttering, almost as if she was waking up from her own daze.

 

“It wasn’t my fault.” Amia hissed, a realisation so deeply rooted that she could only stare back at her hands. “It wasn’t my…”

 

“The same thing happened to Saki, Amia.” Honami looked out onto the garden from the balcony. “She watched her own brother die, her kingdom collapse, and… she was blamed for things she didn’t even do.”

 

“Tsukasa is dead?” Amia looked back at Honami, her eyes wide.

 

“I was stationed to see if anyone in Shinonome had captured him. I… knew he was dead, but I wasn’t in my right mind.” Honami looked down at her feet.

 

“She never wanted this.” Honami felt her voice break. “She never wanted to wage war. She just doesn’t know what else to do.”

 

“She’s my friend.” Honami gripped her fist, her eyes staring out. “But I don’t know if she’ll hate me.”

 

“Hey, Honami,” Amia began. “Go home.”

 

“…What?” Honami stared back at the knight. “How are you so sure that I should do that…?”

 

“It sounds like she needs you more than we need you here.” Amia smiled, placing her hand on Honami’s shoulder. “To think a tailor would’ve been a master in the politics of Imperia…”

 

“Stop this war, Honami. …Tell Saki that Shinonome has her word to end this.”

 

“What about Ena?” Honami asked the pink-haired knight, who simply giggled.

 

“I’ll protect my Enanan.” Amia placed a hand on her hip. “Just like how you’ll protect your Saki.”

 

My Saki. Honami repeated. My… friend.

 

“Thank you, Amia.” Honami nodded, turning around and grabbing her robes that she made herself, embellished with the Tenma royal mark. Saki’s mark.

 

“For everything.”

Notes:

I have no idea if I promised anyone’s POV last notes but I’ll just say that this chapter was sheerly made on the bus I take to school while listening to Jamie Paige’s Clouddrop (absolute peak, by the way) so that may explain why it’s so small

Chapter 87

Notes:

Y’all have no idea what I’ve been doing these past weeks bht what I do know is that I’ve written 40k words in a week for my MizuMafu kitty AU (this fic is 130k for scale) and my hands are so sore. I’ve written more as well, an average of 7k every single day. This chapter is around 700 words. Lets just say that writing fanfiction isn’t for the weak

Honestly, Minori expected the trek to Tenma to be worse than this. Yes, she did notice that some villages were abandoned, and that the path was filled with branches, but for a carriage from the Otoris the mess was simply a small inconvenience.

 

Unlike the alliance, weather and seasons across all of Imperia changed on their own accord depending on the region. It could be winter in the alliance, and autumn in Shinonome. It could be spring in Tenma, and winter in Shinonome. Climate was another issue that each region would find itself facing, with the alliance being marsh and constantly overcast, while Tenma had an unbearably glazing heat.

 

However, despite everything, no matter what climate or season, the stars would always be seen.

 

In the daytime, the stars were far more colourful, and in the night, they were deep and defined. Minori wasn’t one who simply took the stars for granted – she’d watch those glimmering alignments like they were pathways. In Tenma folklore, constellations were dubbed as the roots of the gods.

 

“Miss Hanasato, I have been requested to leave you here.” The carriage driver uttered, letting out a small sigh. “Surely you don’t mind, right?”

 

“Nope,” Minori shook her head earnestly. “I’m used to these small nature paths. I grew up around this area,” Minori explained, if a tad too openly.

 

“Good for you, Missy. Do watch your step – however, you have grown up round these plains.” The carriage driver nodded his head, giving Minori the impression that she could leave the carriage.

 

I’ve got my bags, my notes, the fake plans I should give to Tenma… Minori recounted, scrambling her stuff together. She always found the world such an interesting thing, even if her area of expertise was exploring it. But to be a good traveller, one must understand the world around themselves.

 

“Th-thank you!” Minori waved as she stepped off of the carriage, her items in tow as she slid on her woollen coat and kept her brooch hidden deep in her pocket.

 

Apparently, this brooch had once belonged to the Yoisaki heir, Kanade, who had yet to inherit it. But after Mr. Yoisaki catching wind that his daughter was alive, he left the brooch for the next to inherit.

 

That person, being Minori.

 

Made of white silver, holding a diamond-like gem in the middle, with such craftsmanship that Minori wondered if she could even dream of having such skill.

 

But alas, if anyone were to unveil her true motives, she’d be… executed.

 

Minori knew the risks. She knew the game she was playing. But for Haruka, for Shizuku, for… Airi…

 

Airi isn’t dead. Minori shook her head, trying to ground herself. She’s in hiding, fighting for her life. She wouldn’t give up like that.

 

It was pathetic, coping with such pain in denial.

 

But to Minori, she knew in her heart that Airi was alive. She can’t die now.

 

Minori stepped down on the solid ground, beginning her trek with a heavy heart.

 

Airi isn’t dead. Tenma has her. Minori told herself with such unattainable belief.

 

…Because, to her, if Airi was simply dead, then what was she fighting for?

 

Autumn leaves began to fall beneath Minori’s feet, an orange hue leading her to the ground, followed amongst each branch that welled to the floor, gripping on, holding itself together.

 

Minori pulled her coat close to her body, her eyes filled with determination. Determination to live, to exist, to avenge Airi and find where Tenma was hiding her.

 

I’ll find you.

 

Such false hope, was it not?

 

The hope of finding something that never was lost to begin with.

 

Minori knew these paths. Each and every one of these branching walkways. She needed to follow through. To find her way.

 

“Airi, why did you leave?” Minori begged, her eyes gazing out at the sky above her. “They… they believe you’re dead…!”

 

False hope.

 

Had Minori finally become blind to her own mortality?

 

Had she finally lost it like Honami had…?

 

Had she…

 

No. Minori knew that it was difficult. That she’d have to keep going. That she was simply… human.

 

Minori gripped her bag, pulling herself through.

 

Just a few more steps… a few more-

 

“Minori?”

Notes:

Chat Mizu6 is releasing in 6 minutes so I’ll wait to post my reaction

It’s in 2 minutes and I’m so nervous… I read the producer’s notes and I’m holding my breath

Predictions: I think it’ll be MizuMafu (yes I’m biased) or Mizook transition backstory so that the transphobes leave Mizuki alone. The producer’s notes also mention that it’s about the little things in life, and finding happiness in them so it could quite literally be anything.

Reaction: YUUKI YUUKI OMG MIZOOKS SISTER AND HER CLOTHES ARE SO STYLISH AND SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT I LOVE HER SO MUCH MIZUKI THE QUEEN AAHHHHHHHH

Chapter 88

Notes:

I don't have much time chat i'm gonna have to speedrun this one

 

Ink dripped from Ichika’s quill, slowly heading down against the parchment that wrapped itself against the mahogany bench.

 

Ichika didn’t know why she was writing it in such a secluded place like the Kusunagi storeroom. Shiho was fast asleep, and wouldn’t have even known Ichika was writing this.

 

And yet, she still chose to hide, because her words held such weight.

 

Ever since the meeting, and she had found the STANDOUT letter, Ichika’s mind always seemed to fall back into the patterns.

 

Was this simply her insanity, or her insecurity?

 

Dear my beloved knight,

 

I will be leaving tonight to complete a personal mission.

 

Ichika felt her heart grow heavy, a pain lurking in her throat. She didn’t want to do this at all, but…

 

I cannot tell you where I am going, or what it is.

 

But I will come back.

 

Ichika felt tears fall down her eyes.

 

“I’m… sorry…” Ichika let the words tumble out of her tongue.

 

This was her goodbye, was it not?

 

Do not search for me, no matter what happens.

 

I will be alive. The creator Miku has guaranteed this.

 

I will come back to you.

 

Ichika gritted her teeth, halting a sob.

 

She wished that there was another way for her to do this. But she had no grip. There was no way she was going to hurt Shiho.

 

She was going to kill the dark mages.

 

Ambitious, naïve, foolish. Ichika knew it was.

 

But what if I drag them out? Ichika realised, looking down at the page. What if I send like a beacon, and force them to face me?

 

Ichika looked back at the letter, smudging the ink against her hands.

 

Shiho could never know she was going to leave.

 

“Miku,” Ichika called out, her voice still ravaged from her wilted melancholy.

 

“Yes, Ichika?” The creator hummed, looming over Ichika’s shoulder, her eyes illuminated like stars, her skin born of constellations.

 

“Do you know how to make a… beacon?” She asked. A simple request, one she hoped would work. “Like, to alert mages.”

 

“A soulDust beacon?” Miku rummaged through her brain. “Or a silent beacon?”

 

Ichika remained silent. She didn’t know what either of those two were.

 

“Oh, right,” Miku noticed Ichika’s confusion almost immediately. “A soulDust beacon is like a beacon only mages can sense. It lingers and can cause some to go irrational from the itching feeling.”

 

“And a silent beacon can be seen by everyone, but is like a… spike, where it lasts for about three hours.”

 

“Can there be SoulDust beacons that only show to awakened mages?” Ichika asked, fishing for her answer without revealing what she was going to do. Not that Miku didn’t already know.

 

“Yes. In fact, it’d be harder to create a beacon that includes regular mages.” Miku confirmed. “It’s based off of the soulDust of a person. The more powerful the mage, the more powerful mages they attract.”

 

“Huh,” Ichika hummed. “Does it take a lot of energy?”

 

“Not at all. Many mages use it to pinpoint certain locations to go to, or to remember certain things.” Miku elaborated. “The activation word is esqu.”

 

“You haven’t asked me why I’m doing this.” Ichika wondered. “I know you probably already know what I’m doing, but…”

 

“That’s Kaito’s fault.” Miku elaborated. “He annoys me when he decides to do things like this… he has me stressing about another constellation.”

 

“So you’re telling me this to get away from him?” Ichika picked up, earning a nod from the creator.

 

“I know, who would’ve thought,” Miku let out an indulgent sigh. “You just want to find some mages. I know you wouldn’t do anything wild.” She grinned.

 

“You… don’t think this is wild,” Ichika realised. Does Miku actually know what I’m doing?

 

“Anything is less wild than whatever Kaito has bored me to death with.” Miku answered. “Your constellation is still in tact, after all!”

 

Ichika gave the goddess a gentle nod.

 

“Thank you. You can go if you want,” Ichika hummed, earning the thumbs up from the goddess. She wasn’t as old-timey or sophisticated as I thought, Ichika realised.

 

Ichika looked back at the bench before her, at her dimly lit lantern, and at the uncertainty that washed her against it all.

 

Was she going to die?

 

No. Miku already said that it wouldn’t happen just yet.

 

She needed to focus.

 

Ichika looked back at her hand, which was primed by the channelling she had once felt. The feeling of her own hand come back to her.

 

“Esqu.”

 

Ichika watched as a bright line pierced through the Kusunagi storage room, but not damaging anything. It glittered like stardust, and no matter how many times Ichika looked over, she could still feel the beacon’s warmth against her face.

 

The beacon.

Notes:

I've added an arc because i feed on angst

Chapter 89

Notes:

I'm having to fight the urges to tier for Miku (If only Kafu was a VS... I would try and go for T10 for her)

An and Kohane trudged through the underground tunnels, with An’s claws gripping their permission announcement for their fleet – which was just the two of them – to move out and commence their part in the war.

 

An had already been dispatched before during the coronation de finale, as the elders had marked it. However, this time, there were barely any stakes. The two of them could just have fun for once, even if it had to involve combat.

 

However, aside from the war and countless battles, An had finally learnt about a unique fragment of her affinity – that her affinity was in fact a separate conscious entirely.

 

“Why do we have to fight these random people,” Kohane sighed. “We’re no villains.”

 

“Those people do think we are.” An answered, rolling her eyes. “Besides, it’s been forever since I went out onto the surface! Maybe we can see the stars from out there again,”

 

Kohane pulled a hand to the crook of her neck, nodding in reply. “I wonder if we could convince the younger Otori to ascend.”

 

“She does have potential,” An remembered sensing the SoulDust from the Otori. A neutral mage able to weaponize explosives depending on emotion itself. If only she tapped into her affinity… An daydreamed.

 

An’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of echoes ripple through the cave systems, a bright light overtaking the labyrinth.

 

“Kohane, is that…” An’s eyes grew wide, her estranged body lurching towards the flickering azure light.

 

“A beacon.” Kohane nodded. “And it’s at the alliance, where little sister Shiho is…!”

 

An’s heart fluttered, her claws subconsciously flickering. She knew that she was partially bonded with metal, but seeing how her claws would naturally retract and unfurl was still something she had to get used to.

 

“Remember, Kohane, we do have a… wait a minute,” An flicked out the paper, reading it with squinted eyes. “That beacon is actually exactly where we need to go.”

 

“How fun!” Kohane grinned, pulling her hands together, showing off a goofy smile despite how menacing she was to the normal eye.

 

“We need to tell the other mages about this.” An reminded Kohane, looking back at where she just came from.

 

“But surely they’d also see it,” Kohane insisted. “I just… want to see Shiho again.”

 

An gazed back at her comrade, noticing the lost glint in her usually open-minded eyes.

 

An knew that look. It was only natural for her to.

 

“You miss her.” An hummed, slowly reaching for Kohane’s shoulder.

 

“It’s just, she said to me that she’d never be like us,” Kohane’s eyes wilted. “I get that her affinity is sealed, but she… hated me.”

 

An wasn’t near Shiho as much as she was Saki during their investigation. Kohane barely even opened up about that night, simply hearing about what happened on An’s side of things.

 

“Tell me, what else did she say,” An comforted, hoping that Kohane would answer. However, An wasn’t going to force her.

 

“It was a long time ago,” Kohane brushed off.

 

“Do you… want to tell me about it?” An answered, reaching Kohane’s gaze.

 

“…” Kohane hesitated.

 

“…Not yet.” Kohane looked up at An, meeting her eyes. Despite the hopelessness that held her back, she still had a metallic determination arise.

 

“I need to figure it out myself, for now.” Kohane responded, combing her hand through her hair. “I will tell you one day. I promise.”

 

An nodded, shooting her comrade a smile, even if it didn’t do anything. She loved Kohane, her closest companion. All she’d want would be to stand alongside her.

 

Kohane was never one to leave her promises empty. An had faith in Kohane.

 

They fought for a future where all mages were allowed to live, no matter what was necessary. Nagi’s dream was to exist with her affinity, not despite it.

 

An had learnt a lot about her affinity throughout these last few days – what they liked, disliked, wanted to achieve, and countless other details. However, the most jarring thing was their name.

 

Flower.

 

An odd name, but one An had gotten used to despite it. To Flower, if creating a new world meant that all those with affinities that are different could live together, that the world would finally be worthwhile.

 

“Stop thinking about me.” Commented Flower, who roamed inside An’s mind.

 

An wouldn’t say that having a talking person in her head was fun, but it was undeniably intriguing.

 

“Hey, Kohane,” An turned to her comrade, noticing the metallic girl shift her eyes upwards, her body moving like that of liquid. “Does your affinity have a name? Like, are they a person?”

 

“Come on,” Flower hissed at An.

 

“I don’t know…” Kohane’s gaze furrowed. “Mine is like a reflection of me.”

 

Oddly enough, that did make quite a lot of sense to An.

 

An was going to open her mouth, only to notice that Flower had inevitably switched into An’s body.

 

“Sorry, Kohane, that was a silly question,” Flower attempted to imitate An, using her same mannerisms, despite them just roaming in An’s mind.

 

“It’s okay. It is a fun thought!” Kohane grinned, which in turn, allowed Flower to let go of the reigns and put An back in her own body rather than her consciousness.

 

“Told you.” Flower hummed. An could practically see the violet-adorned person rolling their eyes.

 

“If my affinity had a personality,” Kohane began, continuing with what she thought was the hypothetical, “I’d love to see how it works on the battlefield.”

 

Hear that, Flower? An thought, aware that her affinity would easily be able to hear her.

 

“One day I will.”

Notes:

Did you know when An attacks it's bright red or orange, and when Flower attacks its blue and purple?

Also if any of y'all want to, you can theorize which vocaloid/utaoloid/anything under the 'loid' umbrella gets which character. (Airi got Neru and Rui got Gumi btw, but both of them are dead lmao)

I'm debating who to give Oliver to so if you have any idea please tell mee

Chapter 90

Shiho was restless.

 

She tried to think clearer, to let out a sigh, to clean her face with ice cold water, but no matter how many times she tried to shake off her feelings, it would always bury itself deeper inside Shiho’s mind.

 

The worst addition to Shiho’s ornate restlessness, was the ghosts of Miu or Airi haunting her every move.

 

A reflection that part of her own soul was owned to someone who was no longer. The reason behind her hallucinations, her overwhelm, her isolation.

 

The curse she brought onto herself for some fleeting respite that never came.

 

“Go away,” Shiho hissed, throwing a pencil at where she saw Miu, only for that stare to stay put, glaring back at her. Hollow, emotionless, doll-like eyes flickered from the pencil, then to Shiho.

 

“I don’t give a fuck that you’re bound to my soul,” Shiho tried her best to pull herself together. She hoped Shizuku couldn’t hear her insanity.

 

“Seriously, it’s midnight,” Shiho tried to grab the ghost, only to watch nothing happen. “I don’t need you here, so just-”

 

Shiho heard the sound of the door creak. Shiho immediately felt on edge, her hands itching for her sword, but the fact that she was in her pajamas did hinder her intimidation.

 

Shiho felt her breath hitch as she tried to look out at who was trying to get in. She held her sword uncomfortably, but judging by the tone of the steps, Shiho couldn’t help but leave her sword behind.

 

“You think that leaving it on your own bed will help,” Uttered the monotone voice of Airi, an apathetic noise that hissed behind Shiho’s ears, haunting her steps.

 

“I need you to leave,” Shiho’s eyes grew desperate. “You’re dead, and haunting me won’t do any good.”

 

Shiho hated those words that tumbled out of her mouth.

 

That this… wasn’t real.

 

That her own eyes would only deceive her.

 

“We can’t help but worry.” Miu was the one who perked up, wrapping her fingers against Shiho’s curled fist. “It’s in our nature to watch over you.”

 

“But…” Shiho flicked away, shutting her eyes. “You’re not real.”

 

Miu didn’t respond to Shiho. Neither did Airi.

 

It was hopeless for either of them.

 

“I don’t want to see you anymore.” Shiho tried to say those words with such intensity, but her words only fell flat.

 

“I can’t… look at you and see the same person I once wanted here.”

 

Shiho was broken. All she was saying was only going to break her even more, too. Her own eyes were diluted with such infection that she could only ever see the false mirage that was her disgusting body.

 

“So, please,” Shiho no longer held such frustration, turning back to a measly beg. “Stop existing.”

 

Shiho opened her door and left her hallucinations behind, her mind now captivated with the strange person in her house.

 

Shiho’s eyes inched closer, her heart caught in a flurry as she tried to look into the person’s silhouette.

 

“Who are you,” Shiho emerged from the corner, now realising how stupid it was to leave her sword behind. And how Airi reminded her of such pathetic decisions.

 

“Sh-shiho?” Whispered Ichika, whose eyes grew wide at Shiho’s sudden stance.

 

“Oh, it’s you,” Shiho let out a sigh of relief.

 

And yet… one question remained.

 

“Don’t tell me you went out to train,” Shiho realised. It was typical for Ichika, but she didn’t tell Shiho when she would leave and come back. “At this late of night, too… you must be cold,”

 

“I could say the same for you,” Ichika remarked. “Are you alright, Shiho? You seemed so… on edge.”

 

Shiho let her gaze drop. “It’s just, I…”

 

The words were heavy. Her arms lugged to her sides, her mind lost in such a thick loss of contemplation.

 

But the beaded eyes sewn together would always stare back, whether Ichika knew or not.

 

“I’m seeing hallucinations of… them.”

 

Quick, to the point, and strangely enough to show exactly what Shiho was dealing with.

 

“Oh,” Ichika looked at Shiho, her gaze indefinite, her hands coiling against Shiho’s with compassion. “How long have you seen them…?”

 

“Since Airi…” Shiho choked on the words.

 

Since Airi died.

 

It was a statement she never wanted to know. She wanted to believe that Airi didn’t leave Shiho and the alliance. That she was no longer here.

 

That, despite everything she did, she would only ever be remembered as the queen who died from the war.

 

“Do you, y’know,” Ichika slid off her hood, looking back at her room, hoping to change the topic. Airi’s death was hard for everyone, and Shiho couldn’t even begin to imagine what Shizuku was going through. “Want to sleep with me tonight?”

 

Shiho paused, trying to look back at Ichika, but Miu stood directly behind her.

 

“Are you really stupid enough to choose to waste time with someone who you’re lying to? Have you even told her about what you did to our souls?”

 

Shiho stepped back, watching the amber eyes of Miu follow her.

 

But Ichika grabbed Shiho’s hand, gentle and calm, a gaze far different to the one of Miu’s.

 

Eyes that weren’t simply fragments of what once were.

 

“Yeah, I…” Shiho looked down at her hands, then at her pajamas. “Sorry, I can still see her,” the knight attempted to apologise.

 

Ichika didn’t respond, only giving her a small, reassuring smile.

 

Shiho trudged into Ichika’s room, noticing just how full the room was. It was Ichika’s room, after all, and to notice all of the papers of constellations and notes and simple incantations littered around felt oddly comforting.

 

Shiho had made an effort not to come into Ichika’s room when she had moved in out of respect. Despite the pair living together – mostly because Ichika couldn’t exactly go back to Tenma, nor could the alliance make more houses – Shiho wanted to give Ichika a space where she could be herself without Shiho’s intervention.

 

“I’m sorry that it’s a mess,” Ichika informed Shiho, but the grey-haired knight didn’t mind.

 

“I don’t mind. Your room is… nice.” Shiho tried to find a better word, but with two inanimate beings following her and her alone, she chose not to endure their criticism with any fancy details.

 

Ichika slid her coat off, hanging it on the side of the wall. “It’s not as nice as yours, but I like it too.”

 

Ichika unclasped her prosthetic, sliding it onto her bedside table. She loomed over at her notes, scribbling down a small word – Esqu.

 

“How many incantations do you know?” Shiho wondered, pulling out a spare futon, placing it next to Ichika’s bed.

 

“I tend to ask Miku about them,” Ichika answered. “W-well, since I’m her pupil and all,”

 

“Kaito knows I can’t perform many incantations anymore,” Shiho let out a sigh. “However, I’d love to know about how he uses his incantations.”

 

“Kaito uses incantations?” Ichika questioned, sliding onto the side of her bed.

 

“I don’t know, but after sworn silence, I’d think he could.” Shiho answered.

 

Ichika nodded, sliding herself in bed once she took off her uniform.

 

“Why won’t you tell her.” Hissed Miu, who slid right behind Ichika’s bedframe, her eyes glaring at Shiho with such hollow disgust.

 

“You’d rather keep that to yourself?”

 

Shiho turned around, sliding on her own blanket, hoping to watch the grotesque figure disappear the moment she closed her eyes.

 

“Why is it so important that you keep your mouth shut, huh?”

 

Shiho didn’t engage. She didn’t listen to Miu. To the fragment that could never grasp reality.

 

Was she not the one hallucinating?

 

Would her visions even cease in the morning?

 

Would she ever be free?

 

…Maybe. One day.

 

But today was not that day.

Notes:

The next two chapters (excluding this one) will be the end of this arc and the beginning of the next one!! I cannot wait to write the finale for this arc

Chapter 91

Notes:

Anyone up for more Ichika, perchance?

Did it ever matter for Ichika to be so afraid?

 

Was she not simply worried for putting everyone in danger?

 

Why was the silence so… deafening?

 

Ichika bit back her tongue, her eyes dancing across the meeting room, her mind astray like the constellations she studied so well.

 

She let her arms cling to her robes, robes she knew weren’t originally hers – but despite that, she still felt such attachment to the fabric.

 

…Ichika didn’t really understand her own mind. Why did she feel such nostalgia standing at this meeting table, standing next to her people? Why did it still feel so empty?

 

Maybe… no. It wouldn’t be that simple. She didn’t miss that life.

 

She had her new life – one she loved so much more than the previous one.

 

But would her heart still yearn for something that she’d never believe was just? Would her mind still try and cover up the scars on her skin like freakish donations of trauma?

 

Would she still look upon the west and wish that she stood alongside Saki, or was it simply this distance all she needed to look back?

 

One day Ichika would unpack these feelings. But now, Shizuku was waiting, preparing for the next corse of action, despite the one she yearned for being just as far as Ichika’s past.

 

“There’s been a beacon set up.” Shizuku was the first to speak during the meeting, her voice steady, if still lost.

 

Ichika tried her best to look surprised, despite the fact that she was the one who created the beacon. After all, if she were to tell them, what would they think? That she doomed them all? That she was only doing it out of selfishness?

 

No – they wouldn’t hate her. And judging by Shizuku’s tone, it wasn’t a bad thing.

 

“Is it that strange light?” Ichika asked. “I-I saw it yesterday, when I woke up,” She bluffed.

 

“Yes. I believe that the Otoris may have set it up as a safety precaution.” Shizuku answered. “Some beacons can act as shields when activated, but we don’t know what kind it is just yet.”

 

“It makes the most sense that it’s in case of the war,” Haruka motioned. “It will help Minori get home as well.”

 

“Have we gotten any reports from Minori?” Shiho perked up. “Or have we told her not to?”

 

“We haven’t gotten any information on her side,” Haruka shook her head. “Nene, have you gotten anything from Minori?”

 

The lavender-eyed girl perked up, only to register the question and slump back down. “I don’t think-”

 

“-Did you figure out something with the locket,” Shiho interrupted, leading to a heavy sigh from her comrade.

 

“No, I didn’t.” Nene rolled her eyes. “Seriously, that black bead is such junk,”

 

Shizuku cleared her throat, but didn’t say anything, taking yet another look back at the map – each and every point of advantage and disadvantage marked in bright colour, swerved in ink, hidden behind codes and words that no normal person would understand.

 

Then, her eyes leaned back over to the west.

 

Tenma.

 

“Lady Shizuku…?” Ichika hummed, earning an empty hum from Shizuku.

 

“You’re looking at Tenma,” Ichika reminded the older woman.

 

“I’m sorry, I just was thinking,” Shizuku realised, retracting her eyes from the map. “All of this, it… started there,”

 

“-Tenma’s a lost cause.” Shiho hissed out. “From the moment Saki existed, everything was doomed from the start.”

 

Ichika agreed. She truly did. But she still found herself yearning for her old friend.

 

But that old friend died by Ichika’s bloodied fingertips.

 

And yet…

 

Will you… still be my friend?

 

Tears ran to Ichika’s face, prickling her skin uncontrollably.

 

“Ichika…?” Shiho looked back at her girlfriend with such care and concern, but Ichika didn’t make a noise.

 

Will you… still be my friend?

 

“I’m… sorry…” Ichika blinked. Her words held so much emotion that she couldn’t even try to describe it.

 

“I’ll be back. I just… need a moment.”

 

Ichika gave Shiho’s hand a squeeze before exiting the meeting hall, finding her usual study, making sure to shut the door and lock it from the inside.

 

“Hah…” Ichika crumpled to the floor, letting out a wretched sob.

 

I miss her.

 

I miss Saki.

 

Ichika never wanted this to be the truth.

 

Ichika never wanted to miss the person that ruined her life, the one that trapped her in that damned cage, the one who spat in her face and threw her away.

 

Saki hurt her so badly that she couldn’t live believing that anything was worth it. That she was simply not good enough.

 

Saki abused Ichika.

 

And she missed it.

 

“Why…” Ichika looked down at her prosthetic, remembering the strange gleam of her arm on that day, of her insatiable bloodlust.

 

She couldn’t just get over Saki back then. Saki told her that she wasn’t worth anything, that she was simply trash able to be thrown out.

 

And she Missed Saki.

 

Why did she miss the pain? The pain of feeling like she’d never be strong enough? Of Saki never trusting her with anything, not even telling her that she murdered someone Shiho cared about which was why Shiho attacked her? Why was her mind yearning for those emotions when they were never just in the first place?

 

It’s because she saw the good in Saki.

 

Ichika felt her heart stop at the sudden realisation.

 

It’s because I can’t bring myself not to see from her perspective.

 

It’s because I care about her.

 

Ichika let her entire body fall, her hair covering her gaze, her arms toiling with the pain that hid behind her eyes.

 

Ichika no longer pushed those thoughts away, nor did she let Saki hurt her anymore.

 

She’d never forgive her, but that didn’t mean she didn’t understand Saki now.

 

Ichika let out a deep sigh.

 

I’m allowed to miss her. She told herself. I’m allowed to hate her, too.

 

But I’m free now.

 

Ichika slowly pulled herself off of the ground, wiping her tears off of her face.

 

It would take a while for her to process what she just learnt, and everything that Saki did.

 

But now, she could finally learn to accept these feelings.

 

To have courage, despite the pain it would bring.

 

So, she stepped out of the room and walked her way back into the meeting room instead.

 

And judging from Shizuku’s gaze, they had a plan.

 

This time, Ichika was ready for it.

Notes:

The ending is kinda rushed but that’s because I’ll write the end of the meeting in a different POV dw

Also I’ve bumped up this arc by 4 chapters because I want to involve Tenma into the shenanigans because they’re kinda always there lmao

As a side note, I really hate using the word ‘abuse’ since its such a mishandled word but I kinda did base Ichika’s struggles off of my own experiences so I’d say it’s pretty accurate and okay to use it this time around (sadly Saki was trying to do the right thing and my abuser definitely wasnt)

Chapter 92

The trip to Tenma wasn’t something that Honami was accustomed to, especially without any form of carriage or any kind of ride to get her there. And yet, she still felt the soft chill of autumn hiss beneath her white porcelain robes – a staple of her nobility, something she hand-crafted for herself.

 

Every step reminded her of why she was coming back, and how much she had to lose. She had a solidified protection at the Shinonomian queendom, and could’ve easily stayed there.

 

But Saki was her friend, her queen no less. She didn’t know what they were – comrades? Childhood friends? …Lovers?

 

No, Honami shook her head definitively, but her heart told her otherwise. She had a duty to protect Saki, her liege, her one last friend she had. Not anything more.

 

Had her madness truly make her despicable to Shiho and Ichika, or did she already have their distain?

 

Honami didn’t want to dwell on the topic. It was a lost cause, even if she was so undeniably desperate to grab hold onto that world where her friends truly were there. It was pathetic to even try and wonder about it.

 

Maybe there was a universe where they could see each other, where they could be together, where there was no longer any bloodshed.

 

But that universe wasn’t this one, and Honami had to understand that one fact was the complete and utter truth.

 

She just wished that she could apologize to both of them.

 

…But she couldn’t.

 

Honami pushed her thoughts away, her vision now watching one of the towns come into view.

 

Honami slowly walked over near one of the travellers, noticing an oddly familiar brown haircut and a nostalgic voice to match.

 

Was this…

 

“Minori?” Honami questioned, leaves obscuring her vision as the one she hoped she had remembered had turned around.

 

“H-Honami!?” Minori exclaimed harshly, her eyes wide with shock. “Wh… weren’t you just in Shinonome?”

 

“…You knew?” Honami bit her lip. “Does… Saki know?”

 

“No, of course not, I was just invited to Shinonome,” Minori answered with the shake of her head. “I, uh… wanted to see how you guys were doing.”

 

If she was checking out Shinonome, then surely she’d have gone to the alliance too, right? Tenma was the least safe place in all of Imperia. So if she were to do her rounds, wouldn’t she also go to the alliance?

 

“…” Honami paused. Should I just ask if she’s been to the alliance? She wondered. If I get it wrong, would she be mad at me?

 

Minori doesn’t get mad at these things. Honami affirmed. It’s not like she’s allied with them.

 

 “You’ve also been to the alliance… haven’t you?” Honami asked, still hesitant to speak.

 

Minori’s face drained of colour, her breath hitching.

 

“No, it’s okay,” Honami reminded the brown-haired girl. “If you won’t tell Saki I was in Shinonome, I promise, I won’t tell her you went to the alliance.”

 

Minori was cautious, but in the end, she allowed herself to remain by Honami’s side.

 

“I take it they don’t want this war…” Honami began, looking back out at the beacon that she had learnt about a week ago, right after she began her travels. She didn’t concern herself with it – or the alliance at all. She didn’t want to think about the alliance, about Ichika, about Shiho…

 

“They didn’t want to be involved, but they are all afraid since Airi died.”

 

Honami’s thoughts grew quiet, her hands twitching in surprise, her body lurching in shock.

 

“What…?” She took a step back, trying to hold herself together. Airi was a Queen, one that cared so much for her people. She even tried to protect Tenma…

 

Honami couldn’t help but feel guilty, even if she never was a member of the Alliance at all. She did stop by the small refuge camps, hearing in about stories of… Ichika, their sworn protector, the mage who protected everyone. But Airi’s death?

 

How would Minori even know this? The alliance would’ve kept that information as quiet as they possibly could.

 

It just… wouldn’t make sense. It never would for someone who simply wandered like Minori.

 

Honami looked back at Minori, latching her eyes onto every small detail that hid behind her gleaming eyes.

 

…No.

 

 Minori was wearing lavish clothes, clothes that would only ever be tailored in the Alliance. Honami paused, looking into her coat, noticing a smidge of white silver. A brooch system of nobility, something she knew was custom made for each heir or heiress, as Honami had studied them in her own schools.

 

No, this… this isn’t true, she isn’t a traitor, Honami begged.

 

But all the information stared right back at her.

 

No…!

 

“Minori…” Honami shuffled closer, her heart heaving. “You’re not here to avenge her, right…?”

 

Minori stepped forward, unable to meet Honami’s gaze.

 

“You’ve taken a place in the alliance…” Honami bit back her betrayal. “And you wanted to betray us…! Why…”

 

Everyone will leave, eventually.

 

…That was Honami’s curse.

 

“You stayed in Shinonome,” Minori bartered, trying to hide herself from Honami’s eyes. “Surely you-”

 

“-You’re still with them,” Honami shook her head, tears prickling her eyes. “I know you are, and I still want to believe that you’ll stay…!”

 

Honami was done with these betrayals.

 

She was done with all of this, with the pain of her miniscule existence, of watching everyone turn on her.

 

But she couldn’t bring herself to kill Minori.

 

That was the old Honami, the one who was insane, poisoned, hiding behind glazed eyes and insurmountable pain.

 

“Leave,” Honami whispered. “Please, I don’t want to kill you… I just don’t want to be betrayed again…”

 

Her voice shattered, her eyes glassy as she looked back up.

 

But this time… it was different.

 

In the distance, she saw that beacon, the same one that haunted her, slowly begin to shift.

 

Minori fished out a locket from her coat, pulling out the device, bringing it to her ears.

 

“Minori, come home…!” Begged who Honami could only believe was Shizuku.

 

“I-I can’t hold them off, Shizu- NO-!” Screamed the voice of…

 

Ichika.

 

Ichika.

 

“What’s wrong,” Honami uttered, hearing the voice of her friend. “Ichika, what’s-”

 

“Honami.” Ichika’s voice cracked.

 

“Ichika, I’m so sorry,” Honami begged. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but-”

 

Minori shut the locket.

 

“No,” Honami begged, but Minori looked at Honami with such disgust.

 

Such… horror.

 

“I-I finally get it now…” Minori raised her hand, her lips trembling. “You sent soldiers there… you planned this all out…”

 

Honami’s eyes grew wide.

 

“You’re the reason Airi died, you’re the reason Ichika’s hurting, you and Tenma,” Minori began, shutting her eyes, letting out a horrid sob. “Do you not understand what happened? Why… why are you persisting?”

 

“It wasn’t me!” Honami cried out. “All I wanted was to atone for my sins, to be forgiven…! I wanted to live…!”

 

“My friends…!” Minori choked out, letting out a silent scream. “They’re dying because you and Tenma hurt everyone…!”

 

Minori stumbled backwards, running off into the woods, where Honami could never find her.

 

She knew Honami wouldn’t chase after her.

 

She knew Honami was too much of a coward to stand up for herself.

 

…Huh.

 

How did it come to this?

 

How did she find her friends all split up, with her being the only one who didn’t know what to do?

 

Saki was a cursed experiment from Dark Mages, Shiho had tried to murder Saki because she hurt someone Shiho cared about, Ichika left because Saki let her go, and Honami didn’t know how to cope.

 

She stayed with Saki, but for what? She tried to find her friends, to bring them together, but all she did was drive them apart.

 

Was she so sick that even medicine couldn’t save her?

 

Why did she persist?

 

Now everyone around her only ever wanted her to die.

 

She could never please everyone. She could never live aware that this pain would haunt her, that no one would ever rest against her shoulders and tell her that they loved her.

 

Honami wanted so desperately to be loved. To see someone say that, even if it wasn’t in a romantic sense, that she was allowed to be happy.

 

But she was a monster to everyone.

 

Someone who’d always be hated.

 

Honami reached out her healed hand, noticing how clear the soulDust had become.

 

She let the world fall to greyscale.

 

And…

 

She ran.

 

Ran away from her thoughts.

 

From the ideas that she was some monster.

 

Because there was one person who needed her the most.

 

Saki.

 

And Honami, she…

 

Loved her.

Notes:

You all are so, so lucky.

I’m still debating it even now honestly, but originally, Honami was supposed to straight up kill herself at the end of this chapter. But I felt so heartbroken writing it that I changed it. Also cause if I did write it like that then Saki would never get to see Honami again.

This chapter was also supposed to be a split POV, surprisingly, but now I’m thinking having just Ichishiho for the split POV this round (also cause if I were to write it as a split POV Honami’s chapter would just be massively overshadowed like she’s third wheeling)

Chapter 93: An's point of view

Notes:

Oh god to say that this chapter hasn’t been the biggest roller coaster for me would be the biggest understatement. This was supposed to have Kohane and Shiho’s POVs but to say that these ones weren’t already difficult enough, writing those could’ve literally taken several weeks. I’m so glad I get to finish these but dear LORD. I’m still very happy with these chapters too, but 15 pages per POV in a time crunch due to Silksong and Mizu5 grinds as well as school would have me spinning in circles

An’s gaze was firm as she watched the surface peek from above, her hands itching for battle, the chains that rattled against her torso slowly clinking against her spine.

 

“Say, Kohane, do you wanna wait until dusk?” An prompted, giving her comrade a small nudge.

 

Kohane paused, letting out a deep exhale. Her eyes looked back over to An, her voice making a quiet “oh,” noise.

 

“Wouldn’t it be better if we go?” Kohane hummed, her mind still on something.

 

“You want to see Shiho,” An realised.

 

“She betrayed us. She killed Tagaki.”  Kohane held her head low. “It just… doesn’t make any sense.”

 

She was afraid, and tried to sneak away. An theorised. “Maybe she just… had no choice and didn’t think that it was a big deal.”

 

“But Tagaki was so kind to Shiho,” Kohane’s brow flexed. “Every time I think about it, it just gets more confusing.”

 

An placed her hand on Kohane’s shoulder, shooting her a grin, if a tad melancholy. “What if, during the battle, we see her…” An raised out her offhand. “And you, the most adorable little mage, get to go and talk to her.”

 

“An-chan, you didn’t have to call me adorable,” Kohane feigned in a bright blush underneath her strange scales.

 

“It felt right.” An answered, even if it was yet another tease for her friend.

 

An looked out at the small dim light, noticing the distinct shimmer of soulDust in the air.

 

“Kohane, now.” An informed her friend, earning a sharp nod from Kohane.

 

Kohane channeled her metallic affinity across the exit, creating a stream of liquid metal across the plains.

 

An propelled herself through the metal, landing on the surface.

 

“Huh.” Her eyes blared. “I’ll take that girl, Ichika, was it?” An pointed at the crowd.

 

“…Yes.” Kohane stood firm, letting An take the first strike on the estranged alliance individuals.

 

“…Hello, Ichika.” An grinned, finally seeing the estranged mage that killed Saki and awoke her from her mortality.

 

It was strange seeing her again when she wasn’t so festered with rage. Instead, it was this cruel hum, this flexed gaze, this surety that brought An to her standstill.

 

“Vaqui Eite!” Ichika shouted, raising her hand. An felt thousands of needles prick her skin, but she didn’t feel all that annoyed at it.

 

Impressive.

 

“Eigu hou,” Ichika flicked her wrist down, sending the needles to burn through An’s body, flesh and all.

 

“You’re strong,” An offered, genuinely believing her own words. “You could easily be one of our highest-ranking mages, if you didn’t side with the surface.”

 

Instead of Ichika taking the words in stride, she condemned them.

 

“Don’t talk to me like that, like my home is some choice,” Ichika stepped forward, her brow furrowed, her lips pursed.

 

“You’re a monster, someone who only wishes to destroy,”

 

An almost froze.

 

Almost.

 

I’m no monster, An told herself. Nagi didn’t die for this.

 

This is what I’m fighting for.

 

An twisted her stern gaze back to a usual smirk.

 

Ichika doesn’t have to know about anything. She’ll die by my hand anyways. Just like how she killed Saki.

 

“Where have I heard that before… oh, right.” An shoved Ichika to the ground, hiding the internal battle.

 

I hate her. I hate her. I hate Ichika.

 

“When Saki awakened.”

 

“Take her name out of your mouth!” Ichika pulled herself up, slamming her hand into An. “You never knew her! I never knew her! We’re both fools in this stupid game!”

 

An’s smile dropped. Fools, in some game? Hah. How stupid.

 

No god controls me.

 

I’m not a puppet like you.

 

“You sound like you care about the princess that you murdered.” An didn’t care about Ichika’s petty life.

 

She didn’t hold back.

 

An watched her vision blur as Flower traced their fingertips against her soul, wrapping chains against the enemy with both their and An’s instructions.

 

Ichika let out a hiss of pain, clutching her arm as the black ink travelled across her skin, sliding and blistering, pulling her down.

 

“I don’t care about her.” Ichika turned away from An.. “And she… never cared about me.”

 

You’re hopeless.

 

“Tsk. How stupid.” Flower responded. “You act so noble, like you’re in the right…”

 

Ready? An asked Flower.

 

She didn’t need a response to know that they were commuting to the kill.

 

“Pathetic, isn’t it?” Flower rolled their eyes. “How you really want to be the best.”

 

They let An hone in with a flexed out arm, her claws roaming against Ichika’s chin.

 

I hate you, Ichika Hoshino.

 

An knew that she’d kill her here, and yet, with her rising hatred, she couldn’t help but hesitate and witness yet another die by her hand.

 

Maybe, if she-

 

“…!” An screeched, her body thrown to the ground by the feeling of her body growing numb, her blood sloshing about.

 

“Get off of Ichika!” Yelled the queen of the alliance, who began deflecting An’s attacks with her own.

 

I’ll handle this, An told Flower.

 

Fine.

 

An let her hands turn to chains, warping her body, before she grabbed Ichika by her own grip and seized control of her prey.

 

An couldn’t help but smile.

 

You pathetic, stupid girl… An’s own gaze no longer delighted. You think I’m a… monster.

 

You are no better than anyone else.

 

“No,” Ichika choked out, stumbling backwards.

 

An almost started laughing.

 

“Stop,” ichika begged. To An, she didn’t care how many pleas Ichika spat out.

 

“You really think I would stop,” An grabbed Ichika by the neck, sending her throat to close up and her to wheeze in pain.

 

Die.

 

“N-no… I didn’t want this…” Ichika begged.

 

“No one does, honestly.” An spat, throwing Ichika with such force that she let out a heavy exhale.

 

Ichika tried to run away, and An…

 

Let her.

 

Was this the price of her own immortality? The futile feelings that plagued her skin, the emotionless gauze that held her captive, the person parading her skull.

 

She made this deal to avenge Nagi, and yet, she couldn’t help but regret it.

 

“Fuck me,” An looked back at her hands. What am I doing. She begged, aware no one would answer.

 

An hated the fact she hesitated. It was… devastating.

 

She had trained for this. To recreate the world anew and drown the false ideas of her. She was born to awaken with Flower an audible entity she bowed down to.

 

Was this the world she had wanted to create, or was it simply a ploy?

 

Ichika only saw me as a monster.

 

Everyone… thinks I’m a monster, Nagi.

 

An shut her eyes, numbing the pain. Why… why do they all think that I’m nothing more than this?

 

An knew there was no response.

 

That didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt.

 

An tried to grapple with her feelings – Nagi died for her to be human, and she still made that deal, didn’t she?

 

No. I did it to have another chance.

 

An let go of her pain, now finally realising what was in front of her.

 

She’d rewrite the world, just like Nagi wanted.

 

Monster or not.

 

An heard Ichika scream as she grabbed her by the foot, dragging her away from whatever she was doing.

 

“Honami.” Ichika muttered, looking at a small piece of jewellery.

 

…Who?

 

“Always talking about random encounters, never about the ones you love,” An hummed, letting out a snicker. “Oh, I can only imagine how much fun Kohane is having with little sister Shiho…”

 

“Shizuku, go,” Ichika begged. “Make sure Shiho is safe,”

 

“So now you go,” An let out another hiss of laughter. “Eh, at least I have you all to myself… don’t I.”

 

Die, Ichika.

 

An gripped Ichika with her chains, swallowing her body against binds that slithered from An’s own manifestations.

 

“This wasn’t the plan,” Ichika struggled. In all honesty, An didn’t understand what she meant.

 

“Hah, as if all of this was planned,” An spat back, amused. “You know, I would’ve expected you to be better at protecting yourself if this was some plan.”

 

Ichika tried to shove An with her hand, but the mage was far too quick to even process Ichika’s menial, flimsy attacks.

 

You called me a… monster.

 

You called me a monster!

 

Ichika couldn’t do anything except beg.

 

“I’m not letting you hurt Shiho…” Ichika tried to slide out of her binds, only for it not to work at all.  

 

“I’m not letting you take anyone else I love!”

 

And I don’t care. Flower muttered to An, taking the reigns. They knew that An wasn’t stable enough to do anything.

 

“Then kill me.” Flower shrugged. “It’s that simple.”

 

Flower analysed Ichika’s movements, the desperate cries, the small twitches.

 

Then Ichika went limp.

 

“What,” Flower hissed. “Is she… already dead?” They muttered, reaching towards the corpse-like formation that was Ichika.

 

“…” An switched back in, her mouth agape, her eyes wide.

 

Then… Ichika’s eyes opened.

 

Light shoved itself across the domain, burning An with stardust, sending her entire body backwards.

 

An, run. Flower hissed at her. This has never happened before. She didn’t even die, how the hell did she make the deal? Wh-

 

“I am not a murderer…” Ichika hummed, her voice bolstered, her skin interwoven with stars. She was radiant, her hair making a halo, two antlers protruding out of her head and creating a lucid machination of what An could only believe was godly.

 

 

“What the hell are you.” Flower took the reigns, unable to even try and resist. “Y-you… this is no stupid fairytale!”

 

You’re fucking joking. Flower forced An to back away. There’s no way this is possible. The only person in this damn planet that could even try to do this would be…

 

Miku.

 

“You’re right,” Ichika looked down at An. There was no hatred, no malice, not even fear. “And I don’t know if this is possible, but…”

 

Ichika’s eyes awoke, slow tears glistening off of her pearlescent skin.

 

“You were once Shiho’s friend, and for that… I can only thank you.”

 

Ichika reached out her hand, stepping forward, her own radiance too much for An to bear.

 

“What are you doing,” Flower spluttered, backing away, their eyes plagued with horror.

 

“I want you to leave, to never hurt Shiho again,” Ichika hissed out. “I want to hate you like you’re the only thing that I need to kill.”

 

There was a rich silence that hit her, a cold whisper.

 

I don’t get it, Flower beckoned. The creator hasn’t ever spoken to anyone before in her life. Why would she descend upon mortals now?

 

“But I can’t kill you… as much as it hurts to say.” Ichika smiled, stepping forward, held together with her own opalescent glory.

 

“You are no monster, An.” Ichika smiled. “You never were.”

 

“This is… mercy.”

 

Ichika stabbed An’s insides, Ichika’s hands weaving through her body.

 

An, she’s-! Flower hissed, but their voice strained.

 

An’s body mutated, her stature diminishing, her chains now forming back into that of her old self.

 

Ichika ripped her hand out, stumbling backwards, before falling to the ground in a daze.

 

An felt like throwing up.

 

“What the fuck,” She shook her head. “How the hell did she undo the deal.”

 

Flower no longer responded.

 

They were gone.

 

They… were gone.

 

An looked up from her dissociation, grabbing hold of Ichika’s mortal body.

 

I’m free to live in society now, An realised. I’m no longer stuck in there.

 

…I’m not a monster.

 

An knew it was fruitless, but she was of no worth to her fellow mages. She threw her robes off, leaving behind a small fragment of what she was.

 

She faked her death, still holding Ichika. She had to return the favour.

 

An ran into the alliance, her eyes looking around and out onto the plains of the alliance, finding the infirmary station.

 

“H-hey, do any of you know where the infirmary is?” An asked, looking back at the soldiers.

 

But, just as Ichika, her own body began to fail her with fatigue.

 

“No,” An begged, tripping over her own feet. “No, damn it!”

 

She couldn’t save Ichika.

 

She couldn’t do anything.

 

Her eyelids grew heavy, her limbs slumping down her body tumbling from the nausea. Pain spread across every inch, until finally, her mind shut off.

 

…I’m so sorry.

 

An knew she’d never be able to say it.

Notes:

You’d be surprised how many times I had to copy and paste the dialogue from Ichika’s POV to make sure it linked up with this one

Chapter 94: Ichika's point of view

 

The spring breeze slowly washed against Ichika’s face, the snow fading against the grass, with Ichika standing on patrol.

 

Both Ichika and Shiho were drafted due to the beacon – that much was true. Ichika knew that this beacon was her own doing, but with Shizuku’s belief that it was the Otoris, she just had to stay put near the alliance’s border to see if it was a distress signal.

 

“I seriously think that it’s nothing,” Shiho sighed, twirling with her glove, her sword holstered in her hands. “The Otori’s don’t exactly set up beacons, but who knows.”

 

“It could be something that was set off,” Ichika offered food for thought, but Shiho didn’t seem to really care about the beacon all that much.

 

“…You’re seeing them.” Ichika realised, her hand slowly reaching for Shiho’s.

 

“They’re telling me to leave,” Shiho hissed. “Miku, why won’t they just leave me alone…”

 

Ichika didn’t respond, her eyes doing the talking as she allowed Shiho a moment of silence.

 

Ichika noticed Shiho’s eyes grow wide, her arm tense against Ichika’s, her body slowly taking a step back. Cerulean shadows danced across her skin as she stood in front of the gate, her eyes perplexed, fixed on something that no longer existed.

 

Ichika knew this feeling, and even if she had never experienced hallucinations, she knew the pain that was seeing something that’d always haunt you.

 

She’d do anything to make sure that Shiho was okay, as menial and mundane as the prospect may have seemed to others.

 

Because Shiho saved Ichika’s life. And Ichika loved her.

 

“I-Is everything okay?” Ichika asked, hoping that there was a chance Shiho could finally relax.

 

“Ichika, there’s…” Shiho led with hesitation, turning her emerald-coloured eyes from the one she loved to the skies. “…There’s something that I need to tell you after today.”

 

Ichika nodded. “I’ll wait as long as you need, my knight.”

 

Ichika didn’t remember when she started calling Shiho her knight, nor did she remember when Shiho first registered it. All she knew was that she wished to keep it close to her heart.

 

Shiho’s shoulders relaxed, her sword ravelling itself back into her scabbard. “I haven’t been able to ask you yet, but…”

 

Ichika watched Shiho fiddle with something in her hands. “How are you finding your… new life?”

 

Ichika had so many words for her new life. This feeling of being able to exist and fly beyond the shadows that once cast her ineligible, to feel the snow for the first time, to see the days pass as she knew why she wanted to make a step forward this time.

 

She also knew the hurdles of existing in the first place. Those words, so precious, as she remembered each haunting memory follow her with bloodied steps.

 

Each step that she made herself.

 

“There’s so many things I could say,” Ichika hummed sheepishly, a small blush pigmenting her cheeks. “But if I were to say one thing…”

 

“It’s that I want to live it rather than fighting for a reason to wake up.”

 

A cruel statement in practice, but one that detailed the exact reason she stayed here.

 

This was her life, not anyone else’s. Why would she ever hate herself for something so precious?

 

That’s why she made the beacon – because she knew that this was her own decision. Something that she knew all too well.

 

Because she wanted to finally prove to herself that she is powerful enough to fight the demons she never had.

 

She wanted to free Shiho’s of her hallucinations, of the pain that gnawed at her skull and rattled her brain to pieces. To help Shiho just as Shiho helped her.

 

Ichika stared out onto the horizon, noticing the frozen sunset eclipse against the world, itching in morning dew.

 

“Oh, high mage Ichika,” One of the mages tapped Ichika on the shoulder. “Lady Shizuku had asked you to have this. She said it connects to Lady Minori’s locket.”

 

Ichika gave the mage a smile and a small thank you, slowly taking the locket into her hand. It was white silver, just as most items were. But the fact that it could contact directly to Minori, just by opening it was nothing short of genius.

 

Was this how Shizuku communicated to the empress of Shinonome?

 

“I thought that lockets could only be used once,” Shiho looked back over at the locket in Ichika’s hand.

 

Ichika slipped the locket into her robes, her eyes looking down at her brooch.

 

High Mage, Ichika repeated. I’m important to people. Some people think I’m a… saviour.

 

If I was a saviour, then why am I so desperate to prove myself?

 

I am no saviour. I’m human, a person, flaws and all.

 

Saviours do things for the goodness of the world. All I did was petty revenge. And yet… they still fight alongside me.

 

Even if I cannot show them a reason why I fight.

 

 

It’s stupid, how much I want to show them I’m a fraud… even when I’m not.

 

Ichika stepped forward, despite the serenity, her mind sensing something around her. She arched her hand, looking behind the crowd, at her soldiers.

 

These people believed in her.

 

Fraud or not, they… trust me.

 

Shiho believed in her.

 

She just had to trust herself, for one, small moment.

 

Even if it was just as fraudulent as she was.

 

Ichika watched shadows slowly encroach the ground, prickling each strand of grass with a strange, vein-like marking. Had her enemy finally come? Had it only taken a few days for her to find the enemy?

 

Was she finally worthy of the title she was never able to win?

 

Had everything she ever hoped for-

 

It was too late for her to go back.

 

“…!” Ichika watched the world encroach in thick, uneven, rooted shadows.

 

This was what she wanted…

 

…Wasn’t it?

 

Ichika watched as a fleet of dark mages swallowed her sights, and two awakened ones remained in their ranks.

 

An and Kohane.

 

Ichika began to channel her affinity, her eyes closing as she took in a heaving breath.

 

I can do this.

 

I can prove myself.

 

This… is it.

 

“Shiho, I love you.” Ichika looked directly at Shiho, then at her arm.

 

This was her love, her life, her own sacrifice.

 

“So please…” Ichika grabbed onto Shiho’s hands, kissing them, holding them together for her final moments.

 

“Forgive me.”

 

Ichika hoped the last thing Shiho would see of her was her smile.

 

Ichika dashed into the fray. She didn’t care how much pain she could feel if she died.

 

She wanted to prove herself she was a saviour worthy of her title.

 

So, when she finally approached An, she knew what she was getting herself into.

 

“…Hello, Ichika.”

 

“Vaqui Eite!” Ichika shouted, sending thousands of needles of constellations to weave across An’s skin, sending her staggering backwards.

 

“Eigu hou,” Ichika flicked her wrist down, sending the needles to burn through An’s body, flesh and all.

 

This is what I trained for.

 

“You’re strong,” An complimented. Ichika didn’t know if it was a simple ploy. “You could easily be one of our highest-ranking mages, if you didn’t side with the surface.”

 

“Don’t talk to me like that, like my home is some choice,” Ichika stepped forward, thinking of her next incantation. “You’re a monster, someone who only wishes to destroy,”

 

“Where have I heard that before… oh, right.” An shoved Ichika to the ground. “When Saki awakened.”

 

“Take her name out of your mouth!” Ichika pulled herself up, slamming her hand into An, cutting through the chains that was her feeble, mortal body. “You never knew her! I never knew her! We’re both fools in this stupid game!”

 

Saki never let me be her friend.

 

She hid behind that stupid smile.

 

How… fake.

 

Why did I even care about her in the first place…?

 

An’s eyes mellowed at Ichika’s words, as if it struck a chord in her own beliefs so deeply that it spindled from her core to her own mind.

 

“You sound like you care about the princess that you murdered.” An slid her eyes to the foreground, her arm pulling itself upwards, sending metallic bounds across the field.

 

Ichika let out a hiss of pain, clutching her arm as the black ink travelled across her skin, sliding and blistering, pulling her down.

 

“I don’t care about her.” Ichika tried to pull her arm, but her tears only continued to fall. “And she… never cared about me.”

 

“Tsk. How stupid.” An’s hair grew an odd violet. “You act so noble, like you’re in the right…”

 

An brought her hand up, wrapping the ink across each area she could. “Pathetic, isn’t it? How you really want to be the best.”

 

An raised her hand, ready for the kill.

 

In a few moments, she’d be dead.

 

She’d never be able to prove herself.

 

All her life, she’d just tell herself that she’d no longer live in due time.

 

How was this any different?

 

…she wanted this.

 

She wanted this to happen, didn’t she?

 

Ichika swallowed back her Tears, her eyes trying to fight An’s apathetic gaze.

 

Ichika twisted her head around, her hand encapsulated in the bright glow of her arm, channelling her affinity through the white silver.

 

“Get off of Ichika!” Yelled Shizuku, who began deflecting An’s attacks with her own, but she didn’t distract An at all.

 

“Sh-Shizuku?” Ichika huffed, her eyes wide.

 

“Contact Minori immediately,” Shizuku explained, still trying to keep herself stable.

 

Despite this being what she wanted, she still felt the sudden hiss of pain hurdle across her as she watched the mage scratch her skin and attempt to shred her to pieces.

 

Why wasn’t she using any incantations? Why wasn’t she using her affinity? What was she doing?

 

“No,” Ichika hissed out, stumbling backwards.

 

Had she already managed to fail before she even started?

 

“Stop,” Ichika looked at the sunset-adorned eyes, at the repulsive skin, at the sudden hiss of laughter that exited her mouth.

 

“You really think I would stop,” An grabbed Ichika by the neck, sending her throat to close up and her to wheeze in pain.

 

“N-no… I didn’t want this…” Ichika begged.

 

“No one does, honestly.”

 

An threw Ichika across the dirt, running to catch up with the throw, picking up Ichika by her hair as if she was simply some toy.

 

Ichika ran up to Shizuku, giving her the locket immediately.

 

“Minori,” Ichika explained, still trying to defend herself with choppy incantations.

 

“Minori, come home…!” Shizuku shouted, holding the locket with such a grip that Ichika could see her knuckles grow pale.

 

“I-I can’t hold them off, Shizu- NO-!” Ichika felt An’s chains grab onto her leg, with Shizuku trying her best to get the chain off of her.

 

“What’s wrong,” spat a strange voice exiting from the locket.  “Ichika, what’s-”

 

“Honami.” Ichika realised, her eyes wide.

 

Honami… why is she…

 

She took away my arm.

 

She took away Shiho.

 

She doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.

 

“Always talking about random encounters, never about the ones you love,” An hummed, letting out a snicker. “Oh, I can only imagine how much fun Kohane is having with little sister Shiho…”

 

“Shizuku, go,” Ichika begged. “Make sure Shiho is safe,”

 

“So now you go,” An let out another hiss of laughter. “Eh, at least I have you all to myself… don’t I.”

 

Ichika watched as An shoved her to the ground with chains, trying to choke Ichika using her clawed fingertips.

 

“This wasn’t the plan,” Ichika struggled, trying to cut An’s hand off with her own, but her affinity wasn’t stable.

 

“Hah, as if all of this was planned,” An spat back, amused. “You know, I would’ve expected you to be better at protecting yourself if this was some plan.”

 

Ichika slid her prosthetic down, hoping An didn’t notice the fact that she had a hand. Her body shook uncomfortably, trying to steady herself.

 

No, this is what she wanted.

 

She wanted to prove herself.

 

And she failed.

 

She… failed.

 

Ichika tried to shove An with her hand, but the mage was far too quick to even process Ichika’s menial, flimsy attacks.

 

They’re counting on me.

 

They’re counting on… me.

 

Ichika tried to free herself from her binds that were An’s fingertips, to see Shiho again, but there was nothing left.

 

“I’m not letting you hurt Shiho…” Ichika tore her hand out of the claws and chains, a flurry of pain encroaching her skin. “I’m not letting you take anyone else I love!”

 

“Then kill me.” An shrugged. “It’s that simple.”

 

 Ichika knew this.

 

She knew that killing An would be her only bet.

 

And yet…

 

She was no murderer.

 

An arched her hand at Ichika, a dagger led to fall at her throat, about to be thrown against her skin and cut her open.

 

She was going to… die.

 

She was going to die.

 

“Ichika,” a shrill whisper. A gentle remorse, a hand toiling against her shoulders, the noise surrounding her slowly fading out of view.

 

Ichika watched as stars engulfed her vision, pulling her away from the battle, sending her into a place she had never once seen before.

 

Stars, countless constellations, wordless echoes following countless variables. She didn’t understand how she got here, nor what it was.

 

But her eyes were stolen once more, directed at the one she knew so well.

Her creator, the one who watched the world beyond the plane of mortality.

 

Hatsune Miku.

 

Miku’s legs were detailed with thousands of stars, her stature undeniably tall, her eyes glittering, her hair wrapping outwards like veiled wings.

 

It was… strange. Ichika had only ever seen Miku as another mortal. But this form was completely and utterly elysian.

 

“You seem shocked,” Miku tipped her head to the side. “Is everything alright?”

 

Miku’s voice was ever-encompassing, like the thousands of hearts she watched over, reaching out and allowing every fragment of adoration to wake up.

 

Miku truly was a worthy creator.

 

One who loved humanity, despite the flaws.

 

Ichika stumbled forwards, reaching her hand out to the stars she knew so little, yet so much. Was any of this… real?

 

“Where am I?”

 

Miku let out a small hum of amusement. “The bridge of affinity, where most of us make our deals of awakening. I’m not going to do that to you, though.”

 

Ichika gave Miku a hesitant nod.

 

“Most of the time, a person’s internal bridge is dark. I suppose having my divinity did this.”

 

“Your… divinity?” Ichika questioned.

 

“You very well may become a god like me if you so fit, as your affinity is, well… me.”

 

Ichika looked back at her hand, at the stars woven against her skin. How did she not realise that Miku was the one who gifted her this affinity?

 

“You are my affinity…?” Ichika asked, despite knowing the answer herself.

 

“Just as Kaito is Shiho’s.” Miku nodded.

 

“But…” Ichika frowned. “Shiho’s affinity is sealed.”

 

Miku let out a gentle laugh, fitting for an old friend. “Kaito can’t exactly be bound by things like sealing. I should know, he was complaining last night about Meiko.”

 

“Then, why…” Ichika looked back at the goddess, at her creator. “Why did you bring me here?”

 

Miku outstretched her hand, an offering for Ichika to take.

 

A righteous god would allow Ichika the choice.

 

A god like… Miku.

 

“For a few seconds, I wish to allow you and I to become one.”

 

“A true show to prove yourself.”

 

Ichika hesitated.

 

“But… won’t you be controlling me then?” Ichika asked. “Will I really be able to prove myself if it’s simply you doing the work?”

 

Miku smiled in response. A careful, delicate smile.

 

“It’s your body, your life. All I’m doing is asking to watch.”

 

Like the shrill string of a harp, Ichika slowly reached her hand back out at Miku. At her creator.

 

I’ll prove myself.

 

I’ll… live.

 

Ichika took Miku’s hand.

 

The world faded, a gentle whisper coating Ichika’s skin, like that of a melody.

 

Ichika saw the dagger. The dagger that was bound to murder her.

 

Ichika grasped if with her hand, twisting the blade, arching it right back at An.

 

“I am not a murderer, like you say I am.” Ichika narrowed her eyes, stepping forward, watching her own body turn the world around her to stardust.

 

“What the hell are you.” An spat at Ichika, backing away from her. “Y-you… this is no stupid fairytale!”

 

“You’re right,” Ichika looked back at her fully formed hand, at the thing she was so desperate to keep. “And I don’t know if this is possible, but…”

 

Ichika looked at An.

 

“You were once Shiho’s friend, and for that… I can only thank you.” Ichika offered her hand to An, knowing full well she would never take it.

 

“What are you doing,” An spluttered, backing away, her eyes plagued with horror.

 

Ichika finally understood what Miku felt.

 

This estranged love for everyone, the will of the constellations, the desire for life itself.

 

Ichika was no god.

 

She never was meant to be one.

 

After all, a god could never truly live.

 

And she, mortal and flawed…

 

Lived.

 

“I want you to leave, to never hurt Shiho again,” Ichika hissed out. “I want to hate you like you’re the only thing that I need to kill.”

 

Ichika let her heart weave her words.

 

“But I can’t kill you… as much as it hurts to say.” Ichika smiled back at An, a singular tear falling down her eyes, rolling off of her cheek.

 

“You are no monster, An.” Ichika smiled. “You never were.”

 

She knew what she wanted to do.

 

She knew what it meant.

 

“This is… mercy.”

 

Ichika grabbed onto An’s hand, weaving An’s constellation through a web, before finally igniting the final star.

 

Ichika rewrote An’s future.

 

She freed An of her immortality.

 

Ichika opened up her eyes, noticing the world around her begin to spin of colour. A headache slammed into her senses, her body lurching forwards, hissing in nausea.

 

And yet, Ichika accepted this.

 

“Thank you… Miku.” She whispered. She knew the Goddess had let go of her body, that Miku had finally released Ichika of the strain of immortality.

 

Ichika fell to the ground, her body growing numb, her eyes heavy as she fell beneath the ever-looming skies above.

 

She did it.

 

She… did it.

 

Notes:

Time for my fav part: the beta ideas!!

You have no IDEA how many times I had to rewrite this chapter. I was slamming my head against the wall cause I had zero clue what I was doing until I remembered the ending and how to make it hit harder.

This chapter was supposed to be An’s death. An was supposed to straight up die. I actually began writing it and then realised she had less plot relevance than fucking Rui who died on chapter 15, also Kohane grief and madness made me feel bad

This chaptwr was also supposed to have Ichika be kidnapped by An. Quite literally it was supposed to go “Then kill me, Ichika” “…Take me with you.” But I literally already did it with Shiho and it’s mega embarrassing retreading plot lines also Ichika wouldn’t force herself with the enemy she’s no doofus

The third option was to have Ichika just straight up awaken. Safe to say I like pathetic Ichika more than mikufied Ichika

And the final option for this chapter was to have Shiho’s POV focus on her hallucinations of Miu causing her to kill Kohane. First of all, Kohane isn’t dying, second of all, Shiho isn’t dying, and third of all

Chapter 95

 

An’s eyes fluttered open to the familiar noise of chains rattling against her.

 

But these were not her chains.

 

Her eyes gravitated around the room, noticing the cool atmosphere she was so dearly accustomed to and the thick metal bars that stood in front of her.

 

“I’m alive,” An grinned, even if she was detained. “No way, they didn’t even-”

 

An’s voice grew dry at the sudden noise of a slamming door, and heavy footsteps rattling against the floor.

 

“…Ichika? You there?” An asked, her voice low, only to be met with no such warmth.

 

Instead, she was greeted with a blank stare and a boy the same age as her, striking two-toned blue hair.

 

“I am Ayoagi Toya,” the strange person announced.

 

“Toya, huh?” An walked closer. “Don’t think I know you.”

 

Toya shook his head. “I don’t concern myself with… battle.” He looked down at the sword plastered at his side. “I am not like you.”

 

An shrugged. “Being kidnapped and forced to work as a soldier does that to you.”

 

An looked back at her hands, finding the lack of claws as quite a challenge for her to wrap her head around. Her body felt so… weak. Abnormally irregular, a life where she was plagued with such normalcy, a fright for her old self to bear.

 

“Ichika really did a number on me,” An looked down from her cage, away from Toya. “Say, how is she?”

 

“…” Toya took a step back. “Don’t act like you don’t know what you did.”

 

An’s brow furrowed. “Huh? What… is she dead? No, surely she wouldn’t be-”

 

“She isn’t dead, but you have no right to speak of the high mage.” Toya narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know why you threw yourself at us, why you were carrying her, nor how you ended up like this. …It doesn’t make sense.”

 

“If I could talk to the high mage, I’d probably tell you.” An smirked. “A shame you’re not letting me see her, since-”

 

“-She’s in a coma.”

 

An stepped back. “No, surely…” She pulled her hand to her head. “Damn it, you’re serious,”

 

Toya scowled at An.

 

“Why do you care so much about her,” He whispered, thinking that An couldn’t hear him.

 

“You have no idea.” An turned away. “Hah, if she’s able to rewrite my own biology, who knows what she could do.”

 

An felt her own tone sour at the thought.

 

“…She didn’t have to save me.” An let her eyes drag to the floor. “And if there was a chance she had joined me, I’d have never forgiven myself.”

 

Just like she did to Kohane, killing all that was left of Kohane’s friends, keeping her alive, and allowing Kohane only to join.

 

They both were trapped, because An was stupid enough to ascend due to grief, and Kohane followed her.

 

I’m so sorry, Kohane.

 

“I already dragged the one person who cared down with me, Toya.” An felt the words tear out of her mouth. “If I did the same thing to Ichika, I’d have probably just given up.”

 

There was this eerie silence that hissed through the air.

 

“…How does the dark mage society work?” Toya asked.

 

“What, you don’t know?” An let out a rash laugh. “I could tell you, but what’s in it for me?”

 

“The chance to join our ranks.” Toya answered without any hesitation.

 

“Huh.” An spun around, her interest peaked. “Guess I’ll tell you. There’s nothing better to do,”

 

Toya looked around the room, pulling out a chair from the corner, sitting down, awaiting An.

 

A strange act of respect, but one An indulged in, nonetheless.

 

“Despite mages coming from Shinonome, almost everyone has an affinity.” An began. “We’ve – no, wait, they have scouts which can detect SoulDust. They use special tunnels in the labyrinth to go over to smaller villages.”

 

“…Tunnels?” Toya asked, even if he did hesitate beforehand as to not interrupt An.

 

“Yeah. Because we live underground, quite literally everywhere you know has a tunnel underneath. The way we recruit people is by sensing their affinity and kidnapping them.”

 

Toya’s eyes fluttered, if barely so.

 

“I know. Crazy, isn’t it?” An laughed. “I was kidnapped when I was four, I think. I was taken to a specific part of the labyrinth and trained with my… mentor.”

 

Do I have to mention Nagi, An looked down, hesitating.

 

“Who was your mentor,” Toya asked, practically forcing An to mention her.

 

“Didn’t think I’d have to say this to someone in the alliance,” An’s smile cracked, if only slightly. “But uh, her name was Nagi. She was forced to awaken when she was seven, and taught people who had an influx of soulDust on the surface.”

 

“She fought for a future where people wouldn’t see her as a monster, where awakened mages would be able to live in society instead of in the slums. …Her wish wasn’t fulfilled when the officials found out she had been hiding my existence and killed her.”

 

An took in a small, heavy breath.

 

“Just like her, I was forced to awaken, forced to become a dark mage, forced into this life I never wanted.” An looked at her hands. “In my own rage, before the scouts came to a certain area, I wiped all of the mages out, leaving one, singular person.”

 

“Kohane, was it.” Toya hummed.

 

“…You know her?” An’s eyes lit up.

 

The blue-haired boy nodded. “She was a friend of the late princess, Akari. I was once stationed to protect her.”

 

“…Right.” An felt strange hearing that word after Kohane told her what happened to ‘Akari’.

 

An wondered what happened to him. To Akito. She knew he went to Tenma and managed to barter his way up from Kohane, but other than that, An didn’t know if he was still alive.

 

“How were you stationed to protect Akito?” An laughed. “Seriously, I thought you would’ve been raised here or Tenma from that sword on your hip.”

 

Despite Kohane knowing Akito, An had no fealty to protect Akito’s identity. Also, she didn’t enjoy deadnaming people, if she had learnt anything from Amia.

 

“…Akito?” Toya scowled.

 

“Answer my question first, then I answer yours, ‘kay?” An bartered.

 

The two-toned knight pursed his lips, then opened them again.

 

“…I am affinity-less. My parents forced me to move to the alliance.”

 

An looked back at Toya, trying to tap into her affinity, even if it was gone.

 

The smallest hint of souldust peaked through her vision, an inkling of gold.

 

“Hah, what a lie,” An smirked. In all honesty, she had no idea that she could still identify souldust, even when her affinity was gone. Maybe it wasn’t exclusive to her affinity, but something exclusive to awakening that even a reversal couldn’t change it.

 

“Your parents couldn’t afford a full test, huh.” An pointed out. “Your souldust is pretty small, so your affinity probably can’t ascend.”

 

“I know you awakened mages have this… sensitivity to soulDust,” Toya looked back at An. “But I do not have an affinity. I have just been healed by lady Shizuku.”

 

“Healed? Didn’t see you in battle,” An huffed.

 

“-I’ve answered your question, mage.” Toya gritted his teeth, avoiding An’s questions.

 

“Oh, right,” An nodded. “Akari was disowned because he wanted to be a boy, changed his name to Akito, went out to Tenma, and honestly, I don’t know where he ended up.”

 

“…” Toya didn’t speak, his gaze zoning out, until he finally came back to reality with a shallow grunt.

 

“Did the mention of Akito spook you, blue-boy?” An quirked a brow.

 

“He was the betrothed of prince Tsukasa.” Toya uttered. “My father told me about their secret relationship after sending officiates to Tenma.”

 

“Damn, didn’t think you’d be snooping around in what’s-his-face’s business,” An commented. “I can see why it was secret.”

 

“Don’t play smart with me, mage.” Toya glared. “Do not insult my family’s reputation.”

 

Toya looked behind him, leading with a sigh.

 

“I’ll come back later.” He hummed.

 

“You weren’t supposed to be here, weren’t you,” An realised.

 

“…Yes.” Toya whispered hesitantly.

 

There would be no trace of him, aside from the words that left his mouth and the soulDust he left behind.

Notes:

Toyas dad is gonna be so mad lmao

Chapter 96

The moment Ichika’s body fell to the floor, her eyes snapped open, back to the oddly ethereal mindscape that once dawned on her before.

 

“Wh-huh?” Ichika huffed, her eyes wide, her body alert, if a tad sluggish. “Why am I here…?”

 

“To preserve your body.” Miku answered, a gentle smile falling upon her godly mask, the profile she held so highly.

 

“What about An? A-about Shiho?” Ichika choked out, her gaze jittery. “Are they okay? Did they kill An? Please tell me they didn’t kill-”

 

“-Easy there, Ichika,” Miku grabbed hold onto Ichika’s shoulder, pulling her upright, trying her best to steady her pupil.

 

“An is safe, Shiho is okay, and your physical body is resting. …I suppose it was the switch from a deity to human that may have caused this.”

 

“What about An…?” Ichika asked. It was strange for her, considering what An had done.

 

Maybe An reminded Ichika of… Saki.

 

Ichika never wanted to save Saki, but she could save someone from Saki’s never-ending fate.

 

Just how Shiho gave her a chance.

 

“From what I have observed, she tried to get you to a healer as fast as she could.” Miku recounted. “She passed out, and Shiho was the one to throw her in the dungeon after that.”

 

“She’s in the… dungeon?” Ichika hummed, stepping back. “It makes sense, but wouldn’t they have tortured her?”

 

Miku flickered her eyes towards something in the distance, grabbing a form of indescribable light to retain against her palm.

 

“…I cannot tell you.” Miku shook her head, passing the small light fragment off onto the beaten path amongst the sea of starlight.

 

“…So, I can ask you, well… anything?” Ichika realised, her voice a whisper.

 

“I suppose so.” Miku giggled. “But I’d much rather learn about you instead, than you understanding some random wish.”

 

Ichika let out a small gasp. “Me?” She huffed. “Well, if you want to, a-ask away.”

 

Miku hesitated, her eyes glancing over at the distance once more, before finally landing on her first question.

 

“What is it like to live?”

 

Ichika paused, shocked.

 

“…Have you not lived before, Miku,” Ichika asked despite the initial surprise she felt.

 

“Well, you are the creator, but…” She reasoned, but she couldn’t grab hold onto why she judged Miku. Of course she’s lived before, she’s-

 

“It’s the one thing I’ve never experienced.” Miku pulled her own hand to her chest, shutting her eyes. “I’ve always wanted to exist in this universe.”

 

The creator reached out to Ichika, her eyes flickering, her smile completely and utterly otherworldly.

 

Ichika didn’t know what to say to Miku.

 

A loaded question, one asked by the one true deity. Life was so many things – a reason, a meaning, the one thing that made her human. The main point of her mortality itself.

 

But how could she ever begin to explain it to Miku?

 

“I’m sorry, that’s just, such a massive question,” Ichika rubbed the back of her neck. “But if I could tell you, it’s the one thing that I keep moving forward for.”

 

It was a stupid answer, a short one, one that she just had to blurt out. There were so many that life could be explained, and she just said that?

 

“Most of my pupils say that to live is to experience.” Miku began. “I like your answer more.”

 

Ichika looked at Miku. “Was that a test…” She whispered.

 

“Of course not. I’m simply curious.” Miku teased. “Here, let me show you something,”

 

Miku’s eyes diverted from Ichika to one of the crystalline constellations that poured to the side.

 

Or rather, an individual constellation, preserved and encased against stained glass, a distinct azure colour following the rim.

 

“That is your constellation, Ichika.” Miku slowly brought it over, making sure to hold it with gloves, before handing the unique formation to Ichika.

 

The moment Ichika tapped it, a wave of nostalgia flooded over her – pain, hurt, warmth, disgust… all hidden beneath the fate that was written.

 

“I never thought it was a… physical thing,” Ichika hummed, pulling and twisting the small beads that was her own story.

 

“Your constellation is the only one tinted with colour for me.” Miku explained. “This has never happened for any constellation in years.”

 

“…” Ichika stared back at the creator. “Am I… the only person who has ever seen you?”

 

“Of course not,” Miku grinned. “Humanity is my prized possession, and to observe, to see you here with me, makes everything worth it.”

 

Ichika’s eyes fluttered.

 

“Miku, if I could have one request,” Ichika asked meekly.

 

“Of course, ask away,” Miku smiled, her eyes filled with such gloriousness that only a god could create.

 

“I’d… like to take a look at Shiho’s constellation.”

Notes:

Shit's gonna hit when ichika gets her hand on those green crystals

Chapter 97

“Where’s Ichika.”

 

Shiho slammed the door behind her, barging into Nene’s office, her eyes wide with pain.

 

Scratches and scars flooded across her body, her face torn from her battle with Kohane over An’s body. She could still feel the cool metal fray against her skin, the shallow breaths, the way Shizuku was the one to send Kohane out of her frenzy.

 

Shiho didn’t know why Ichika saved An from her tyranny. But this wasn’t her choice to make.

 

Shiho could only move forwards.

 

“T-tell me,” Shiho begged, clutching her shoulder. “Surely you’d know where she is,”

 

Her body was laced in scratches from Kohane, deep crimson wounds that dried and hissed, her uniform tattered and unkept from the battle.

 

She remembered the hoarse screams of An, the way that the now unawakened mage cradled Ichika’s body, as if to rip her to shreds later in front of everyone.

 

She also remembered the fact that An’s blood also drenched her uniform as she locked her up, only keeping her alive to be tested.

 

Shiho left the unawakened mage a blanket, and some open room. She didn’t believe that Ichika would accept any form of torture to An.

 

But the second part of the problem still arose once more.

 

Shiho left Ichika to Toya, and now, Ichika was somewhere that Shiho couldn’t get to.

 

“Jeez! S-seriously, warn me next time,” Nene shrieked out, her eyes wide in panic, her hair just as much of a mess as Shiho’s.

 

“Tell me where Ichika is.” Shiho demanded, stepping forward. “I know you know where she is, and if she’s dead because of-”

 

“-I have a feeling that you’re a tad too angry for them to let you in.” Nene commented.

 

“This is my girlfriend we’re talking about, the one who practically sacrificed herself for some random person!” Shiho gritted her teeth. “I just, I don’t get it, why-”

 

“Get a grip, Hinomori.” Nene complained. “She’s not fucking dead. She just needs medical help from… whatever the hell she did.”

 

“So you know.” Shiho’s attention diverted. “…” She heaved in a risky breath.

 

“I do. I know quite literally everything.” Nene sighed. “You should know this by now.”

 

“Then why,” Shiho let out a snarl of pain as she stepped forward. “Why are they hiding her from me?”

 

“Because she’s dead.” Muttered the tone of Airi.

 

“I wasn’t asking you,” Shiho spat, looking back at the fragmented hallucination with frustration.

 

“…You good, Hinomori?” Nene quirked a brow. “No one said anything.”

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Shiho deadpanned, turning herself right around to avoid the magenta-haired ghost that effortlessly haunted her.

 

“I just…” Shiho spluttered, halting her words before she could even say anything. It was a lost cause bartering with Nene.

 

“Must be a lot to see the people of your past start attacking the people you care about, huh.”

 

Shiho looked back up at Nene.

 

“Why are you talking like this? Don’t you have better things to do than try and comfort me?”

 

“Maybe, but I’m the only one aside from Ichika you can talk to about this.” Nene’s eyes didn’t flicker up, nor did she feel any kind of distress.

 

Shiho slid her way over to Nene. “…How much do you know about me.”

 

Nene looked up from her own gloved hands, before looming back down. “My affinity allows me to read other people’s memories.”

 

“Wait, really?” Shiho gave the lime-haired girl a slight glance. “So you… know about Saki.”

 

“You should’ve seen Saki from Ichika’s memories.” Nene answered. “Hah, I’ve never been more horrified in my life.”

 

Shiho went silent. “She still gets these flashbacks of Saki. I’ve tried to help her, I have helped her, but I just… I can’t watch her keep going like this.”

 

“If you hadn’t found Ichika, she would’ve killed herself.”

 

Shiho felt her heart skip a beat.

 

“But…” Shiho looked back at her own hands. “I’m not good. I don’t save lives.”

 

“Saki called her careless, and said she’d replace her the instant that she could.” Nene recounted. “She tried to murder Ichika, all because Ichika wanted to know more about her condition.”

 

Shiho bit back her shock. “What else happened?” She asked.

 

“Ichika begged Saki to stop, as most people would.” Nene answered, leading with no indignation. “Saki told Ichika she was no longer worthy of being loved, basically.”

 

“And then… that coronation. Do you know why Ichika killed Saki?”

 

“Because Saki hurt her,” Shiho answered.

 

Nene let out a small huff of amusement. “It’s because Saki was going to trade your life to the dark mages, and Ichika defied Saki, ending her life.”

 

“So tell me, Shiho,” Nene hummed. “How long will it take until you tell Ichika about your affinity split with Tagaki?”

 

“I… forgot I told you about that,” Shiho whispered. “I was supposed to tell her after the battle, but I…”

 

“I know.” Nene answered. “I know I should’ve mentioned this earlier, but…”

 

Nene heaved in a heavy breath.

 

“I forgive you for killing Rui.”

 

Shiho stepped back. “H-how long have you…” She whispered, her eyes wide, her head throbbing with panic.

 

“Since you came back.” Nene answered. “You haven’t told anyone, even Ichika. Don’t worry about me, really. …You can talk to me.”

 

Somehow, Shiho felt almost implied to speak.

 

Nene really was the only one she could talk to about this.

 

“I… I thought it was another hallucination,” Shiho hissed out.

 

“But I… killed him. I killed him…” Shiho whispered, her voice weak. “Fuck, I don’t even know why I did it, he didn’t do anything to me,”

 

“-And you had every right to do it.”

 

“But he’s your friend,” Shiho bartered.

 

“Stop beating yourself up.” Nene complained, scowling. “You look stupid acting like you’re somehow a villain.”

 

Shiho shut her mouth. “I…” She began, but there were no words left for her to say.

 

“But it was my fault he died.”

 

It was a mere whisper. A statement that she knew. Then, why? Why did she feel so unsure?

 

“I caused Ichika to be blamed for my own actions, all because I couldn’t own up to it.” Shiho spat. “Hell, I tried to help Ichika escape, and I couldn’t even tell her about it! She would never judge me, she would’ve told me it was okay, and I still hid it from her…”

 

“…Do you ever wonder if you needed to tell her, Shiho?” Nene asked.

 

“I needed to be honest with her.” Shiho answered with such guilt. “But no matter what I do, I hide from her. I hid the fact I was a dark mage, the fact that I’m affinity-split with Miu, I hid the fact I killed Rui…”

 

“You’re a good person.” Nene interjected. “Seriously, I don’t get how you don’t see it.”

 

“You were kidnapped, forced to be a damn child soldier, and still ended up trying to protect people. And you’re still concerned that you’re an awful being?”

 

Shiho didn’t understand. Why was Nene mad at her? She was a normal person, someone who just did what was needed. How could anyone be annoyed at her for feeling this guilt, after everything she’s done?

 

“You’re stupid, Shiho. How do you not know that you’re not some asshole? Why do you…” Nene paced around, only stopping when she realised how much of a lost cause it was.

 

“Why do I even bother with people,” Nene sighed. “Don’t tell anyone about this conversation, and then I’ll tell you where Ichika is, okay?”

 

Shiho paused. “Okay, I won’t tell anyone about this conversation.” She affirmed.

 

“Ichika’s in the room next to the meeting hall.” Nene answered. “Don’t barge in next time, too.”

 

Shiho didn’t need to think twice.

 

Ichika, please… be okay.

Notes:

Nene having the worst crash out because Shiho is being all depressed is my favourite flavor of comic relief

Chapter 98

Notes:

Just me and my inextricably poor pacing and inability to not finish chapters that I start

Shallow steps followed Saki’s glamour, her eyes stationed to the world in front of her, her arms, which while laced with thick, pearlescent claws and scales, still remained stationed to the banister.

 

Dim light paraded against the skin she knew so well, her eyes squinting at the shrill look of sunlight pouring her figure in certain alertness.

 

It had been several months since she had waged war. Several months for Akito to guide the troops, and for Honami to wander her way back.

 

And yet, Honami never came.

 

Saki had asked Akito time and time again, her eyes caught on the sight of returnees, only to hear nothing on Honami’s whereabouts. Had Shinonome attacked and tried to hold her hostage? No, Honami was far too quick for that. She was… incredible. A mage to be remembered.

 

Saki didn’t want to ask Rin for help. She had to make sure that her consciousness remained – that she didn’t go insane from all that has happened. She was unlike anyone else, after all. She wasn’t human.

 

She wasn’t… human.

 

Saki didn’t get why this fact haunted her so. An apparent reality for her to face, a distinguished, harrowing wall that barricaded her from reality. She was a cloned creation, one who had no constellation, no choice in any of this.

 

She wasn’t supposed to have this heart of hers, to have any kind of personality, and yet, she still did.

 

She was supposed to be Rin. But she and Rin were far too different than anything else. The only thing they shared was Saki’s mortal body.

 

“-My Queen,” Slammed in the echoing voice of Akito. Before Saki awakened, she would’ve viewed the ginger as a goliath. But now that she was awakened, she could only ever see him as a smaller version of himself.

 

“Yes, commander Akito?” Saki asked. She didn’t really enjoy using such a name for her friend, but the situation was dire, judging by his tone.

 

“Honami is back.”

 

“What!?” Saki shrieked, running up to the soldier with complete and utter surprise. “Wh-where is she?” Saki begged.

 

"Saki-Chan," Beckoned a voice Saki knew well.

 

Her questions were finally answered.

 

Honami was alive.

 

Honami looked… different. Her eyes no longer seemed plagued with worry, instead shifting to a tired, yet refined tune. Her skin was no longer tucked behind white gloves, instead bearing a small tinge of purple hidden behind her veins.

 

Her clothes seemed different, as well. She still wore her regular robes, but underneath them was some warmer, well-knitted fabric. Nothing lavish, simply easy to wear for a long trek.

 

But despite everything, it was Honami.

 

Honami was alive.

 

Home.

 

“Hona-Chan!” Saki ran up to her friend, wrapping the rose-haired girl into a soft embrace. “You’ve finally come home…!”

 

Glittering tears fell beneath Saki’s cheeks, her body trembling in nostalgia. “I’ve missed you so much, I knew you’d come back…”

 

“S-Saki,” Honami whispered, but her voice was meek. “I’m sorry, I’m just… exhausted,” She added.

 

Saki immediately pulled herself away from her friend to analyse her. Did she have any cuts? Bruises? Was it a headache?

 

“You’re really focused,” Honami observed.

 

“What gave it away?” Saki hummed, pouting that Honami had noticed so effortlessly.

 

“You have that same squint,” Honami let out a small chuckle. “You always do it when you’re trying to see if I’m okay.” She added, as if it was hard wired into her brain, even after the months she spent out of the kingdom’s borders. “There’s no need to worry about me,”

 

Honami smiled at Saki. It was so… fulfilling. Glittering eyes, gentle face, and pure bliss to accompany the adoration.

 

“Now you’re giving me that look,” Saki hummed slyly. “I wonder why…”

 

“Ah, right,” Honami turned away, her voice held with such surprise. “S-sorry, I still have to head to my quarters,”

 

“As long as you stay safe. Make sure you come back here after!”

 

“I will, my Queen,” Honami answered in reply.

 

When the silence broke out, Saki turned back to Akito.

 

“Thank you, commander Akito,” Saki informed the knight, who simply nodded.

 

They had yet to prepare for the coming war. Saki needed to make sure that everything was ready – but she still lacked time.

 

Time... Saki knew that her death was near. That, one day, Rin would take over her body and show her the reality of her own existence.

 

But now, she still had something to hold onto. A purpose, a reason, a future she wanted so badly.

 

Maybe, if she finally was able to get the future she wanted... she could live beyond what was foretold.

 

Akito left, leaving Saki looming back into her room. She shut the door, her eyes downturned, yet still gravitating towards the small balcony hidden beneath her quarters.

 

“Do we… still have time?” Saki asked Rin. The deity seemed to enjoy the sight of the world, so whenever Saki called upon her, she’d make sure to angle her gaze.

 

We do. Rin hummed, responding through Saki’s own mind.

 

“…” Saki paused. She looked back at the scales that held her skin together, at the body that was hers, but still wasn’t at the same time.

 

She was sharing the body of a god, one who would one day take over her.

 

Her life was limited – that was why she had to act quickly.

 

“Miku, my creator,” Saki pulled her hands together, shutting her eyes. “Please, grant me the chance to see you, even if it is my final moments.”

 

One day, she’d find the creator, and ask her the one vow that Rin promised her so.

 

A promised world where Saki could… live.

 

But before Saki could continue pondering her own life, she noticed the small hidden footsteps of running slowly approach her door.

 

“S-Saki chan,” Quipped the slim voice of Honami, who creaked open the door. “I have so much to say, to tell you.” She added, her voice still huffing from running all the way to Saki's chambers.

 

"Come inside," Saki offered, sitting down at her bed, while Honami took a seat at the corner.

 

And Saki would listen to every word.

 

“Go on, tell me,” Saki sat down.

 

“…Before I do,” Honami shuffled, a question aching beneath her.

 

“Why did you start the war?”

 

Saki blinked.

 

“To get rid of… mages.” Saki answered. “Of people, who have hurt me, and everyone else…”

 

Saki pulled her hands together, letting out a smile.

 

“A world without mages, without magic, without the exploitation of affinities… wouldn’t it be nice?”

 

Honami paused.

 

Did she… not want a world like that?

 

“What if all this killing…” Honami looked back at her own hands. “What if it won’t do anything?”

 

Saki felt her heart heave.

 

“Hona-chan…” Saki grabbed hold of Honami’s hands. There was no use to worry about any of this.

 

“There’s no other way,” Saki sighed. “Did those mages try to manipulate you…?”

 

“No, no, they…” Honami paused. “If we could, can we just target the empress? I just don’t… I don’t want others to die.”

 

Saki knew this feeling.

 

Like when she killed… Tsukasa.

 

“I can try and figure something out with commander Akito.” Saki nodded.

 

She knew it wasn’t possible for her future, but Honami was her friend.

 

She didn’t know what weighed more in the grand scheme of things.

 

She couldn’t lose Honami, though. Not yet. Not now.

 

No blood failing to spill could ever fix Saki.

Chapter 99

Notes:

Bro i love this arc so much it's way too fun to write

 

“Get up, please.”

 

An heard the demands of her captors, and despite being dazed, she obliged to the tone.

 

“What, you need more from me?” An taunted, still slowly regaining sight and consciousness while she slid her own body off of the blanket provided for her.

 

“…” The figure slowly inched closer, hesitating to speak to An.

 

“A name would be nice, y’know.” An reminded their captor. “Not that you’d-”

 

“-Hinomori Shizuku, acting ruler of the alliance.”

 

An let out a scoff. “Ah, a Queen, finally here to execute me!” She hummed.

 

An could barely see her surroundings, but between the cascading shadows and the dreary light poured from the other side of the room, all An could see was Shizuku's mouth purse through the definition of what she could barely see.

 

An was used to the dark. She lived in the labyrinth with paths that spanned countless areas underground. But this wasn't a place she was familiar with - a place she was made to rot in. 

 

The silence Shizuku provided left her skin crawling.

 

“…” An looked at the figure. “You gonna hurt me or what?” She asked.

 

“I do not want to hurt you, Shiraishi. …You seem shocked that it’s the case, too.” Shizuku continued. “Why?”

 

“Aren’t I that monster who terrorised your home? What, do you think that I’m more than that?” An spat.

 

I’m a monster. Ichika’s wrong.

 

She was wrong for saving me.

 

“-High mage Ichika is far more capable than any of us could’ve imagined, Shiraishi. She didn’t deem you as some monster.” Shizuku shook her head.

 

An didn’t speak. She already treated everyone like shit. She pursued Shiho for no reason, put Kohane in danger, put Nagi in danger for her own existence.

 

Finally, it could all dawn on her.

 

That the future she wanted was… impossible.

 

“You think you’re all that, figuring out ancient secrets, that I’m an actual human,” An turned away from the silhouette.

 

“Why are you even here, Hinomori? To try and pick me apart? Did you not know we were gonna sacrifice your sister?”

 

“You’re not them anymore.” Shizuku shook her head. “…You’re so afraid of showing that you’re afraid.”

 

An bit back her tongue to stop herself from lashing out.

 

“Damn you, Queen,” An let her gaze falter. “You don’t even know me.”

 

“You’re right.” Shizuku nodded. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t see what’s in front of me.”

 

Shizuku reached her hand out, placing her fingers on the bars that separated An from ever escaping.

 

“All you’ve been doing for these past days is… sleeping.” Shizuku admitted, her gaze focused on the bar in front of her. “You’re giving up.”

 

“And so what if I am,” An looked away, allowing herself a sigh. “It’s karma.”

 

“No.”

 

Shizuku’s voice cut through An, a sense of surety that An never thought possible.

 

“Wh…” An’s voice grew quiet, her eyes wide.

 

“Why are you so certain that everything will be suddenly… okay,” An’s gaze tried to look up.

 

But she was a monster. Someone who didn’t deserve to look up at some Queen.

 

“Because my sister was one of you, Shiraishi. She watched her own friend die and still continued.” Shizuku answered, her voice shaking.

 

“Shiho… didn’t kill Miu?” An scowled. “Then who did?”

 

“…Saki.”

 

An allowed her gaze to pull itself up, her hands gripping the iron bars, her hair a complete and utter mess.

 

The princess of Tenma… of course she did it.

 

“She’s capable of murdering people, just by…”

 

Rin.

 

An knew she could never finish that sentence. If anyone knew that Saki was the mortal body of a god, everything would go to disarray.

 

Because it was possible to reincarnate.

 

“Damnit, I didn’t even think Saki had it in her.” An realised. “Shiho probably never wants to see me again, too.”

 

“…I cannot let Shiho near you if that’s what you want from this, Shiraishi.” Shizuku shook her head. “You know of the war between Shinonome and Tenma. We can’t afford any more conflict, even between our own ranks.”

 

“They’ll rope you into it, don’t worry.” An gritted her teeth.

 

“Wait,” She paused, reanalysing what Shizuku said. “I’m in your ranks?”

 

“We will have to wait until Ichika wakes up.” Shizuku fiddled with her glove, her eyes inexplicably tired, holding onto something that could never be forgiven.

 

“…Were you the mage who killed Airi with that illness, Shiraishi?”

 

An looked at Shizuku. “Who’s Airi?”

 

Shizuku’s face dropped, her sudden demeanor shifting from hollow to exhausted, her eyes covered in thick shadows that fell beneath the curtain.

 

“The one I loved most.” Shizuku whispered. “She… died, all because she didn’t have enough time.”

 

An stepped forward. “I’m sorry.” She uttered, even if it did nothing.

 

It wasn’t her fault, but she still felt responsible.

 

She was the one who caused death. The one with so much blood on her hands that she could create oceans with the amount she carried.

 

The one who should have died by Ichika’s hands for her sins, reborn anew into a sack of flesh and bone.

 

“How did she… y’know,” An asked. She knew it wouldn’t make it any better, nor any easier to speak about.

 

But these thoughts seemed to have weighed on Shizuku, and An couldn’t accept this.

 

“A magenta wound corrupting her insides.” Shizuku whispered, her words barely audible to An, but she could still hear it.

 

Kohane.

 

“It’s… Kohane.” An let the words slip out of her mouth. “I left her. She’s… gone.”

 

I left Kohane, to save Ichika, some random girl.

 

I left Kohane for some fleeting sense of morality.

 

I left her.

 

“Gone?” Shizuku repeated. “Did she die?”

 

An let out a small huff of laughter. “Us awakened mages can’t die from illnesses. We can only be killed by someone striking our core.” An pointed to her heart, where her core was located.

 

“You’re no longer awakened though, Shiraishi. There’s no need to say you are one of them.”

 

An pulled her hand into a fist. “You really think I’m normal?” She hissed. “Hah, how stupid.”

 

Shizuku didn’t care much about An’s taunts, or her nonsensical quips.

 

She saw through An.

 

An hated that Shizuku actually, truly believed that she was a human.

 

“Why are you even here, Hinomori.” An glared at the queen. “Why do you want to speak to me? To taunt me? To speak about how all of this is magically gonna get better?”

 

Shizuku flicked open the door of the cell, stepping backwards, arching herself for what An could only believe was a duel.

 

“I want to see what you can do, An.”

Notes:

not me ShizuAn baiting

Chapter 100

Notes:

Finally, 100 chapters!!

Oh I’m gonna be so real with you I was going to end this fic during the coronation in the first draft and now it’s literally double that main size.

Thank you, all of my regular readers like therealkusunagiena, strangedange, glitchcorefish (occasionally), Grace (who still will reply with nothing if I ask for my predictions), Yēva who legit barely reads but I know you’re here lmao, Soyouhaveamother, Fishpish (who I will wait for your return to Ao3, my beloved day 1 reader) and, of course, Aki_blob.

There’s so many more of you I could honestly mention but I want all of you to know just how appreciative I am for everyone who has and still have yet to read this beloved fic of mine. If I told my 12 year old self I’d have over 5k readers and fans who adore my silly little work, I doubt that she’d (well, he’d) believe you.

To think that this fic was born off of a Pinterest comment is beyond me, but I couldn’t have been more proud.

“My own existence is futile in the grand scheme of things, but life itself is the gift I must allow myself to take.” -me when I’m actually serious

Onto the soul crushing chapter that is chapter 100!!

Shiho didn’t know how many times she had visited Ichika today. These pearlescent walls greeted her with such kindness amidst the regret, each passing moment falling underneath Shiho’s eyes as she could only stare at the person she loved most in the world.

 

“Ichika…” Shiho let the word tumble out of her mouth. She knew that her tears would always fall again and again when she entered this room.

 

“You’re back, commander.” Answered the healer who strode back into the room, holding her usual clipboard.

 

“Hayakawa,” Shiho looked back at the doctor, her eyes still glassy.

 

“Seriously, it’s Nanamin,” The healer reminded Shiho. “I don’t call you Hinomori now, don’t I?”

 

“Right.” Shiho nodded, but her words were hollow.

 

“Have you… found a cure?” Shiho asked. Her wishes were fruitless. She knew that some ‘cure’ was completely and utterly stupid if she learnt anything from Honami’s pointless wishes.

 

“Thing is, she’s perfectly healthy. Like abnormally so.” Nanamin continued. “It’s almost like her body is preparing for something.”

 

Shiho looked at Ichika once more, her eyes drifting from her face to her torso, to her lower half and her ankles.

 

“Back when I used to perform on stage, my soulDust would react to my anticipation. It’d try and calm my body and help with the dances.” Nanamin clicked her fingers. “But Ichika has such a unique kind of soulDust that it’s weird thinking about it.”

 

“…” Shiho didn’t ask, or mutter, or plea. Nanamin was always busy with both her fans and her patients, so Shiho never really got to hear her talk about Ichika.

 

“I don’t even think sampling would do anything.” The healer placed her hand to her chin. “Who am I kidding? I have no idea what Ichika is.”

 

Ichika was the creator’s pupil, someone who could reverse the fate of an awakened mage with the mere swish of her hand.

 

How did she even do it? Was it by harnessing Miku? Was Miku even allowed to give her own divinity to someone else?

 

All that she knew was that she wanted to see Ichika’s eyes flutter awake, for her heart to continue. Not because of her estranged duty and the people who needed her, but for Shiho.

 

How selfish was she, wishing for this petty desire? Had she no morals? Had she become reliant to Ichika?

 

I don’t care, Shiho told herself. Let me be selfish. I know sure as hell that anyone would do the same.

 

“Shiho, has Ichika ever been around like a ton of soulDust?” Nanamin questioned, her eyes squinted.

 

“Does an awakening count?” Shiho knew it was a false cause, and yet, she still chose to ask.

 

“She’s survived an awakening?” Nanamin let the words echo across her teeth. “Who’s was it?”

 

“…I can’t say.” Shiho shook her head. “It’s not my place just yet.”

 

Nanamin tapped her clipboard, clicking her tongue. “How is she alive…”

 

“Don’t you dare say that.” Shiho snapped. “Just… don’t talk about her dying.”

 

An awkward silence shuffled through the air, with Shiho trying her best to hold it together while Nanamin wrote down her own notes.

 

“…Shiho?”

 

Shiho didn’t look over at her, even when she knew who it was. There was no reason for her eyes not to fall upon her lover’s.

 

“Haruka, there you are,” Nanamin attended to the new visitor, while Shiho remained stagnant, awaiting any form of movement from Ichika.

 

“Can I… talk to Ichika?” Haruka asked, sitting next to Shiho, but not close enough to invade Shiho’s space.

 

Shiho merely nodded. There was nothing she could do.

 

“High mage Ichika, Minori has returned,” Haruka began, as if she were recounting news to Ichika. As if Ichika could actually hear her. “The situation in Tenma is different now, Honami has been released from Shinonome. You probably don’t want to hear that, but… Honami apparently still cares about you.”

 

Shiho let out a dry huff of mockery, which Haruka took note of.

 

“I know, ridiculous.” Haruka admitted. “But we’ve fulfilled your wishes, and have kept An safe. …We await your return, Ichika.”

 

“-She won’t return.”

 

Shiho didn’t turn to the hallucination. She didn’t want to hear it.

 

Soon enough, Ichika would join the two.

 

Shiho tried to shove away the fact that Ichika would never wake up, that her eyes would never search the horizon, that this life she loved would end like this.

 

Like when she let herself become the victim to Honami, where her body became a mere device of torture, where she rode that carriage home expecting to be met with Ichika’s corpse rotting against the road.

 

But every time she remembered that night, she remembered those same words Airi enlightened her with, the reason she let hope fill her hopeless heart.

 

If Ichika wouldn’t give up on you, why are you giving up on her?

 

Shiho felt her heart heave, her eyes looming upwards.

 

She could practically see Airi hovering over Ichika, looking from her post to Shiho.

 

“Shiho,” whispered this strange hallucination. But this one didn’t seem malicious in the slightest.

 

“You’re tired…” Airi slowly leaned over, her gaze comforting, a concerned smile bracing her impact. “Are you still stressed about the future?”

 

Shiho averted her eyes. She didn’t need to speak for Airi to know what she wanted to say.

 

“I get it.” Airi sighed. “But you can’t let this… fear control you.” She hummed.

 

“Ichika will come back. I know she will.” Airi finished, her estranged, fanged smile the last thing Shiho saw before she faded.

 

Airi was… gone. Her gaze no longer existed. Her hands, which once fought for her life, now destined to rot beneath the ground.

 

Shiho looked back at Haruka, who still sat down, watching Ichika with such caution, a hopelessness born in her eyes.

 

“How did Airi die, Haruka?” Shiho asked. It was playing on her mind for weeks, and she wished for an answer, even if it was futile for it to change the outcome.

 

“Why do you wish to know?” Haruka’s eyes trudged through her own memories, gatekeeping the pain for herself as a hollow act of selflessness.

 

“Because I know she would’ve fought for her life rather than giving it up.” Shiho answered. “And if there was a battle, if Shinonome had betrayed us,”

 

Shiho didn’t need to finish her sentence. Not when Haruka’s head finally pulled itself up.

 

“-The betrothed of the queen had killed her.” Haruka bit her tongue, her eyes lost. “An untreated illness, where Airi’s life was the price we had to pay to save Honami.”

 

“Save… Honami?” Shiho’s mouth grew limp.

 

“The queen took her in and healed her of her soulDust poison.” Haruka whispered. “I don’t know what she was thinking, but seeing Honami finally act… normal, I guess I understood it.”

 

Shiho’s mouth grew dry, her eyes watery, trying not to cry from fear and anger.

 

Airi… was the price for Honami? The deranged lunatic, the one who’d kill anyone if she felt like it?

 

They saved her, over AIRI?

 

“Fuck Shinonome. Fuck Tenma.” Shiho allowed herself a small moment of apathy. “I hate her. I hate her… I…”

 

“She was my friend.”

 

Of all the things Shiho hated to remember, it was that one fact that had her hissing in pain.

 

“Honami was my friend…” Shiho‘s brow flexed inwards.

 

Shiho remembered that night.

 

She was young, afraid of the world around her, finally staying from Miu to meet with the rest of the people she once thought as friends.

 

“Shiho-chan,” Honami sat against one of the castle stools, her hands toiling against a small piece of fabric. “Have you ever had a dream for the future?”

 

“The future?” Shiho looked back at the seamstress. “Well, I’ll just… keep fighting.”

 

“Fighting…” Honami’s voice grew sour. “Wouldn’t you want to… settle down?”

 

Honami’s eyes grew wide after she said it, her hand now used to cover her mouth. “I-I’m sorry, was that… rude?”

 

“No.” Shiho shook her head. “Don’t apologise for asking questions. Besides, I…” Shiho looked down at her sword. At the hands which were born to murder. “…I don’t really have anything else I want to do.”

 

A lie. One Shiho hated so much. She wanted to be free. Miu wanted to be free. Everyone did, but death was the punishment.

 

And death never hesitated to take what it wanted.

 

“I want to be a… seamstress. To make fancy dresses for Saki, and cool armour for you.” Honami retorted. “I want to settle down, to have a partner of my own, and watch the sun rise and fall like the stories.”

 

“Yeah,” Shiho nodded.

 

 I want to see the sun rise and fall too. But I was made a weapon. A monster.

 

But my fellow mages don’t think I am a monster.

 

“Do you… read, Shiho?” Honami asked.

 

“I did, but to become a knight like me,” and to be taken from Sis, “You have to train really hard before you can read again.”

 

“So… no reading?” Honami’s eyes dropped.

 

“No reading.” Shiho affirmed.

 

A small instance of leisure in replace for her own execution. Because the surface world would make her a demon.

 

How… ironic.

 

Shiho didn’t know why this memory of all of them had managed to stay with her. It was simple, a testament to how she used to think.

 

But it was ironic, wasn’t it?

 

“You used to know the mage when you were still a kid, didn’t you,” Haruka recounted.

 

Shiho gave Haruka a nod. “She wanted to become a seamstress that made everyone clothes. She wanted to… settle down.”

 

Shiho hated Honami, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t care about her.

 

Maybe that was more ironic than Honami’s life.

 

“She was forced to become a mage when Ichika left.” Haruka elaborated. “Well, rather, threatened to.”

 

“…How?” Shiho frowned.

 

“After she learnt she could see soulDust, Saki begged her parents not to execute Honami. It was a life or death situation, where the odds turned to Honami’s favour.”

 

“She was so afraid of disappointing her own kingdom that she gave up the dream she worked so hard for.”

 

As the words tumbled out of Haruka’s mouth, Shiho couldn’t help but scowl.

 

“Was she that stupid?” Shiho choked on her breath. “She did all that, and still ran her high horse to Tenma?”

 

Shiho wanted to scream at Honami. “If it really was life or death, why didn’t she just run after she was let loose? Why did she try and fight me?”

 

“At least give her the smallest bit of understanding, Shiho,” Haruka asked.

 

“Maybe if she didn’t fucking hold me hostage, I’d understand.” Shiho justified. “What did she even think was gonna happen when she just left me there?”

 

“-If she didn’t bring one of you home, she was going to be killed, Shiho.” Haruka’s smile dropped. “That’s why I helped break you out.”

 

“Would you have let her escape Tenma, Haruka?”

 

A loaded question. One that Haruka’s mouth shut the moment Shiho’s said it.

 

“I still don’t like you from what you did, Haruka.” Shiho glared. “You tore off Ichika’s arm.”

 

Haruka’s eyes flicked up, a stern, tense expression falling over her. “I… didn’t mean to.”

 

“Don’t pull that bullshit.” Shiho snapped. “You’ve done nothing to earn my trust.”

 

Haruka shifted in her seat, her hands gripping the sides of the bench, her body lurching over the side.

 

“I… know.” She whispered.

 

Haruka shut her eyes.

 

“I know that you’ll hate me, but I still want you to trust me.”

 

Shiho let out a deep sigh. “Prove it to me, then.”

 

Haruka’s eyes opened.

 

“What…?” She slowly turned her head to Shiho. “Prove it to you?”

 

“Isn’t it what you want? My trust?” Shiho hummed, her eyes unmoving. “Give me one good reason.”

 

Haruka didn’t respond. Shiho didn’t expect her to.

 

“Silence, huh? Really, got nothing.” Shiho spoke with no indignation.

 

The more Shiho held herself in silence, the more her eyes grew lost and confused. Haruka went through the same things she did, and she still decided to hate her for it.

 

“…Why do you even want my trust.” Shiho echoed. Her hands fiddled with each other, her heart trying to beat despite the aching feeling in her chest.

 

“I… don’t know.” Haruka’s words fell out of Haruka’s mouth, the sense of depravity washing against her. “You just…”

 

Haruka shut her eyes, denying herself the freedom of realisation.

 

“I just what?” Shiho prompted, scowling back at the strategist.

 

“…” Haruka didn’t speak once more.

 

“I have no right…” Her eyes grew scared, her hands jittering, “…to speak of her.”

 

Shiho looked at Haruka. It all felt so… familiar.

 

“Do I remind you of that person?” Shiho asked plainly, hoping her predictions may be correct.

 

“Yes.” Haruka’s response was short, weighted. Like the burden she had to tackle was far more than she could’ve ever believed it to become.

 

“H-hey, Haruka,” Nanamin walked back into the room, her eyes filled with worry. “Is it about her again?”

 

“Nanami, I…” Haruka began, her eyes flexing upwards. What was strange to Shiho was that Haruka was calling Nanamin by her actual name aside from her stage name.

 

“Thank you.” Haruka refuted, hiding against her own burdens, leaving the room immediately without paying any heed to the way both Shiho and Nanamin looked over at her.

 

What is she hiding? Shiho bit her lip. Who is this person she’s so afraid to talk about?

 

“Hey, Shiho, she didn’t mention anything about having ‘no right’, did she?” Nanamin’s voice grew weary.

 

“What about it?” Shiho tried to focus on what had happened, but without the added pieces, she was left with nothing to grasp.

 

“Damn it.” Nanamin slid her clipboard onto her desk. “Sorry, Shiho, but I’ve got to go.”

 

Shiho didn’t question, or fear when Nanamin sped out of the ward, leaving the door ajar, while a few of her notes scattered from her pocket upon her exit.

 

Shiho leaned down, taking one of the notes into her hands.

 

Patient: Ichika Hoshino.

 

Fully alive. No ill conditions. May be afflicted with pre-ascension delirium.

 

Theory may be correct.

 

Shiho looked at the notes again. She knew all of this before, aside from the ‘theory’, but she didn’t think much of it. Instead, she grabbed another note.

 

Patient: An Shiraishi.

 

Shizuku has her under her care. Currently suffering from malnutrition.

 

Cannot attune self to soulDust. Claims of an entity known as Fl-o-

 

Shiho stopped reading when she noticed the torn out other half of the page. She was just snooping now, wasn’t she?

 

Shiho tried to focus on herself, but her head grew tired trying to think of anything to distract herself from impending doom.

 

Shiho looked back at Ichika, at the person she wanted to protect so badly. The person she actually managed to save.

 

“When will you… come home?” Shiho asked.

 

“One day,” Whispered a strange tone that wrapped around her ear, and before she could even identify who said it, her eyes caught on… Airi.

 

Shiho knew it wasn’t real, but the mere sight of her previous friend brought her such pain and comfort at the same time.

 

“Remember what I said,” Airi grinned wearily, offering Shiho a subtle reminder.

 

“I won’t give up on Ichika.” Shiho affirmed, turning her eyes down to the one she loved so much. “I won’t give up on… you…”

 

“I love you, Ichika.” Shiho held Ichika’s lifeless hand.

 

There was no reply this time.

 

Notes:

Remember when I used to end chapters right before the coronation with “I love you, Ichika,”?

Yeah. This time there was no “I love you, my knight” after it.

Because Ichika cannot see Shiho, while Shiho remains watching time pass without the one she loves.

Chapter 101

Notes:

I am curious if y’all are okay with me ShizuAn baiting or just straight up adding ShizuAn to the fic ngl

“You’re just gonna fucking fight me?”

 

Shizuku paused, watching As an pulled herself away, her eyes bloodshot, hidden beneath the scars that littered her face.

 

Shizuku felt guilt surround her skin, her watchful gaze faltering at An’s remark.

 

“Why would I hurt you?”

 

“Oh, fuck you.” An shouted, her hands trying to tear into Shizuku’s shoulder. “Of course, you asshole, you really want me to be some stupid human so bad,”

 

Shizuku let her breaths steady. She felt… awful. She couldn’t watch someone who reminded her so much of Shiho slowly descend into madness.

 

She was so much like Shiho, and yet, she wasn’t anything like her at the same time. An was so much more than some monster. Shizuku knew this. She had watched her own sister learn to live with the pain, but An, it was almost like her reconciling with the pain meant that the pain she felt was so much more than she could’ve ever wanted.

 

Her eyes, once covered in disgust for life, were now painted with something akin to fear. Like her own humanity was what she feared most.

 

Shizuku just had to… break her out of that shell.

 

“You’ve always been human, An.” Shizuku reminded the amber-eyed girl, offering her hand again, even if it wouldn’t work.

 

“FUCK YOU!” An shoved Shizuku, slapping her, pushing her away. “If I’m human, then what are you? A-a god?”

 

Shizuku reached out again.

 

“Why do you view yourself so… lowly?” Shizuku begged, her brow furrowed, her hands holding themselves together. She wanted to reach An, to finally be able to help her.

 

“Now you wanna know everything about me,” An spat, rolling her eyes, her hands launching towards Shizuku’s wrist. “Don’t you?”

 

Shizuku didn’t respond, merely keeping her ground. She didn’t want to fight An, but if it was necessary-

 

No. She was not going to hurt An.

 

“STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!” An screeched, but before her hand landed a scratch, Shizuku grabbed hold of it.

 

You’re beautiful. Shizuku realised. But… you were never able to see it, were you?

 

Shizuku knew this longing. The feeling of watching, waiting, dreaming for something to hold onto her. But Shizuku didn’t need to be loved by An.

 

An needed to be loved by Shizuku.

 

“How long…” Shizuku watched as An let out a sharp tremble. “…Have you denied yourself the ability to be loved, An?”

 

An’s eyes jittered, her voice left to tremble. Her gaze was defeated, burdened in shock. Her arms were devoid of ambition – as was all that she knew, slowly trickling from madness to reality.

 

“So this is your ploy,” An’s face soured. “To- to make me think that I was never loved, that you can fix me.”

 

“…Were you?”

 

“Stop acting like this is some stupid story!” An roared, pacing backwards. “That you’re my fucking knight in shining armour, sweeping the villain off their feet, thinking I can just be redeemed!”

 

“Why is it always you as the villain?” Shizuku asked, stepping forward.

 

“You’re not the one who’s killed thousands, who’s terrorised people, who’s started war for the fucking hell of it!”

 

The dark war… Shizuku told herself she wouldn’t speak about it. That what she did was just.

 

She was eight years old at the time. Both her parents had made the decision. She had nothing to do with it at all, and yet… she still found herself looking at what she had done like it was her own fault.

 

And, in most cases, it was her fault.

 

“Oh, don’t give me that face,” An seethed, her eyes wide. “I attacked you, and your entire family, and started that damn war!”

 

Shizuku felt her throat ache for air.

 

She wasn’t going to speak of it. Not to anyone, not to Shiho, not to An, not even to herself.

 

That was her vow.

 

“We killed your side, too.” Shizuku shivered. “It may have been defence, but… we still killed people.”

 

“You don’t understand the guilt of watching people die by your own hands, Queen.” An began, her guise slowly breaking, her face contorting. “That feeling of blood never washing off, of abandoning the people you care about, of-!”

 

Shizuku wrapped An into a hug.

 

“G-get off of me,” An trembled, pushing Shizuku away. “What… what the hell was that?”

 

Shizuku looked back at An, at the person who had gone through so much. Shizuku could only imagine the nightmares An had to endure.

 

“W-were you… trying to hurt me…?” An questioned, her hair still trailing across her face, her amber-coloured eyes still staring back at Shizuku with horror.

 

Shizuku outstretched her hand again, offering a smile.

 

A form of kindness that An seemingly never got.

 

“I will never hurt you, or let you get hurt again.”

 

An looked back at the hand she was offered. At the choice she now had.

 

“I’m sorry, Queen, but I…” she wrapped her arms around her body, stepping back. “I need some time.”

 

Shizuku simply nodded.

 

She got through to her. To An.

 

“I understand.” Shizuku nodded. “Farewell, An.”

 

Shizuku locked up the cell, giving An a small smile before making her exit. She knew things like these were hard, that An would be contemplating her own life for a long time.

 

Shizuku just had to wait, as she normally always did.

Notes:

I find it funny how everyone who comes over to see An isn’t actually allowed to do it and they try to keep it a secret but it’s literally An she could reveal it for like five cents or less

Chapter 102

Notes:

Guys. I'm in top 150 for Mizu5.

take a wild guess why i took so long to write this chapter

 

Of all the places Ichika thought Shiho’s constellation would be, right next to hers was the one thing she found the most obvious she didn’t realise beforehand.

 

“This is… Shiho’s constellation,” Ichika slowly lifted the bundle of stars int her hand, noticing how similar the structure was to Ichika’s, aside from both the starting stars and the end stars.

 

“Wait, why are these stars greyed out?” Ichika hummed, her eyes gleaming at the sight.

 

“Those are starlight branches,” Miku explained, pointing to the string next to the greyed-out stars. “And those stars are ones which haven’t yet happened.”

 

“So these… are our choices?”

 

Miku nodded. “Yup.”

 

 “That’s why there’s two stars which can lead to a fork in the road. Shiho’s constellation is actually incredibly stable, normally the starlight branches would just cut off and fade the constellation, but hers only end up with permanent choices.”

 

Ichika gave it another look, then thought about her own constellation.

 

“What about my starlight branches?” Ichika asked, still holding onto Shiho’s constellation.

 

Miku grabbed Ichika’s assortment of stars, took one look at it, and put it back where it was needed. “I, uh…” Miku began, all the while scratching her head. “I don’t think we should look into yours right now.”

 

“…Why?” Ichika asked, trying her best not to frown, even if she could show her emotions to the creator and Miku wouldn’t judge at all.

 

“I really don’t want Kaito to be mad at me again…” Miku muttered under her breath, her face knitted in conflict. “He looks after these kinds of things,”

 

“Kaito can see constellations?” Ichika asked calmly.

 

“He sees starlight branches. It’s because most choices are due to one’s emotions.” Miku affirmed, worry still holding onto her.

 

“Then… why can’t I see mine?”

 

Miku’s eyes diverged to the constellation in her hand – Ichika’s constellation. Her methodical weave of fate, strung together by will and foresight.

 

Miku handed Ichika the constellation wearily, her eyes looking away as Ichika saw the different starlight branches.

 

Every single second, a new branch weaved through the star, and another faded, like an infinite production and deconstruction of choices.

 

Ichika mused at the mere thought of her constellation being malleable. Of her choices to be stripped away and given back with each passing moment.

 

“It’s my fault,” Miku answered, her eyes barely able to reach Ichika. “Kaito told me not to intervene, but I couldn’t just watch you die…”

 

“It’s okay.” Ichika answered, even if she was still processing it all. “I… I’m glad to be alive, even if my constellation is like this.”

 

“-oh, I almost forgot!” Miku quipped, her head spinning over to one of the other constellations, before landing on one, singular star.

 

“It’s to make sure you don’t interrupt anything when viewing constellations,” Miku informed Ichika. “Since you’d, y’know, like to dive into Shiho’s.”

 

Ichika slowly grabbed the fluorescent star, noticing it settle against the white silver of her prosthetic.

 

“Make sure to be near it, otherwise you might interfere with the events.”

 

Ichika nodded, aware what it would mean. Like a time-traveller killing someone and changing the whole corse of fate. Like… if Saki died, and Ichika never met Shiho. Universes that she swore she got over.

 

Was it the permanence of reality now that had her truly thinking about the maybes again? Why was she always stuck in purgatory inside her own mind?

 

Would she ever return here, or was this just as much of a fleeting dream as every other reality?

 

“Ichika,” Miku let out a small sigh, her hand on Ichika’s shoulder, her smile weary, yet still hopeful, “If you’re really worried about intercepting reality, I can make you one of those stars.”

 

Ichika looked up at the creator, her body shuffling at the offering. “…What if I lost it?” She murmurred sheepishly.

 

“Don’t be silly, It’ll be like a decoration on your prosthetic,” Miku waved her hand about.

 

Miku, almost preemptively so, decided to take matters into her own hands and tap Ichika’s prosthetic palm.

 

Before Ichika could so much as object, a small gold embellishment propped itself off of the metal. It was barely visible – no one would even think of it.

 

“Huh.” Ichika twirled her wrist, getting used to the sensation, even though nothing changed at all. She let go of the other star, as well as her own constellation, whispering a small ‘thank you’ to Miku.

 

“Hehe, no need to be so gracious,” Miku reminded her pupil, practically chuckling the small star to the side while she spent far more care on keeping Ichika’s constellation safe.

 

“But it feels necessary,” Ichika answered, even if she did feel a little guilty. “You’re a god, and I’m just a human.”

 

“You sound like Len,” Miku commented, almost nostalgically.

 

“But Len…” Ichika’s brow furrowed. “He was human?”

 

“Surprising, isn’t it?” the goddess swirled her head around. “Say, I haven’t seen him lately,”

 

Ichika listened intently, but every time she heard Miku talk about her friends, Ichika could only ever wonder what the alliance was up to in her stead.

 

Oh, Shiho would be stressed out of her mind, wouldn’t she? If Ichika was really in a coma, Shiho would have been quite overwhelmed.

 

Shiho… Ichika let her eyes turn away, her gaze faltering. Was it worth it to risk her life to protect someone she didn’t even know? Was it worth it trying to protect a criminal, even if she’d have to say goodbye to Shiho?

 

Would she… wake up from this coma?

 

“Ichika,” Miku redirected the knight’s attention, earning a surprised flinch from her pupil.

 

“I’m sorry,” Ichika apologised, even if she didn’t really know why she said it. “I just… miss Shiho, and I got carried away, and…”

 

Miku reached out her hand, which was wrapped against Shiho’s constellation.

 

To Miku, it was simply a regular constellation. But to Ichika, she could see the faint lines of both lime green and the same azure blue as hers, barely visible, flickering like the iridescence of bubbles.

 

“I know this isn’t like waking up, but…” Miku began, “Maybe it’ll help.”

 

Ichika slowly reached out to the bundle of stars, tapping the first star that led the constellation.

 

Like diving into water, her own eyes fell beneath an endless void, coursing through her veins. Bubbles would inevitably rise from the depths to the surface, and from within this void, lie a memory that Ichika begged to reach.

 

“Wh-” Ichika began, noticing how illogical it was for her to be swimming through memories. This was a sea of stars, not an actual sea.

 

And yet, as everything began to wash away, Ichika finally stepped out of this unruly shoreline.

 

As the mage stepped out, her eyes fell upon oddly nostalgic walls. Walls of that of Tenma, draped and hidden behind blue lights, whisked with a familiar yellow to mark the heirs.

 

Her steps were shallow, her breaths noticeable. She looked around, trying to identify what truly was, only for her eyes to glance upon Shiho and… someone.

 

“Who is that.” Pointed the brown-haired girl, while Shiho barely looked over.

 

Ichika reeled back, her eyes wide. “Y-you can see me? But…” She stammered, only to cut herself off when she realised Shiho couldn’t see her.

 

“Is it a ghost.” Shiho’s voice was dry, earning a nod from the person next to her.

 

Could this person see ghosts? Or was it like Shiho’s hallucinations, Ichika pondered, watching carefully.

 

“You go.” The brown-haired girl instructed. “I’ll stay at the room.”

 

“Yes.” Shiho nodded, her focus immediate, her eyes burdened with stress.

 

It was strange seeing Shiho so young. This must’ve been an incredibly old memory, after all. It was the start of her constellation.

 

The brown-haired girl looked away from Ichika, ducking into one of the hallways, her robes an oddly familiar sight to Ichika.

 

“Follow.” The girl whispered. “…Please.”

 

Ichika didn’t know what this girl wanted, but she followed nonetheless. There was no reason for Ichika to worry too much.

 

The brown-haired girl slid into one of the guest rooms of the castle, allowing Ichika first, her eyes unblinking, her movement deliberate and calculated.

 

The room was dim, washed against plain colour, but still quite nostalgic for Ichika.

 

“…You do not look like a normal ghost.” The girl began, almost interrogating Ichika.

 

“You’re right,” Ichika nodded. “I’m here to… watch over someone.”

 

The girl stepped back, narrowing her eyes. “I will not let you hurt Shiho.”

 

Ichika blinked. “Of course I wouldn’t. Not after…” Ichika paused, slowly looking at the girl.

 

That robe was the same one Shiho gave Ichika, wasn’t it?

 

And this person, walking side-by-side with Shiho….

 

“Are you Miu?”

 

The girl’s gaze contorted at the mention of her name. “How do you know my name.”

 

“So it is.” Ichika smiled. “I… I’m glad to finally be meeting you, after all Shiho has said.”

 

Miu looked down at the floor, then at Ichika, then at the distance. Her silence filled the air, her expression growing tense, then relaxed, then tense once more.

 

“You’re from the future.” Miu’s voice was riddled with whispers, her hands clasped together. “And… you know my fate.”

 

Ichika looked at the mage sceptically. “You know what’s going to happen to you, don’t you.”

 

Her words were gentle, but her eyes were aching.

 

All Ichika needed was a nod, and with it, Ichika finally saw the girl relax.

 

“…Ghost, does Shiho live?” Miu asked, her eyes lost amongst a vulnerability that she hid so far down that it almost didn’t exist.

 

“She… does.” Ichika nods. “And I will do anything for her to stay alive.”

 

“Are you Ichi… ka?” Miu whispered, tilting her head to the side.

 

“You know my name?” Ichika paced backwards, but Miu didn’t react.

 

“Yes.” The mage hummed. “Your name is important.”

 

“My name?” Ichika frowned. “Why would I be so… special?”

 

It was a heavy question, one Miu didn’t know how to answer.

 

The mage fiddled with her robe, trying to find something for her mind to gravitate towards.

 

“That hand of yours.” Miu pointed to the metallic surface. “It’s a… key. …I can’t find the words, but it is important.”

 

“This star here?” Ichika pointed, earning a hum from Miu.

 

“No, but… what is that?”

 

“The creator offered it to me.” Ichika smiled.

 

Miu jolted immediately, her body shaking with shock, her eyes wide, her stature so small as she tried to reach for the doorhandle.

 

“She’s hunting me.” Miu exclaimed. “She’s hunting me, she’s hunting-”

 

“-She views you quite highly, actually.” Ichika comforted. In actuality, she had no idea if it was true.

 

“But I cause destruction.” Miu bartered, her voice firm, yet still holding onto pain she knew as the only thing left for her.

 

How could a child, so young, be burdened with the reality of being some monster?

 

Was Shiho also like this?

 

...Was this what the Dark Mages did to get ahead? Was child soldiers the only way for them to exist?

 

Did An... go through this?

 

Ichika turned her face towards the distance, realising just how many children were stuck there. She had saved An, but she never intended for her to live. She just didn't want to be the one to murder her.

 

But now... now...

 

Was killing An worth it?

 

“You deserved to escape,” Ichika answered. “You never asked for this.”

 

“Fine, then.” Miu turned around, her aching eyes dejecting towards an exit she knew she'd never reach. A world she'd never reach. “…I must find Shiho.”

 

“Of course,” Ichika nodded her head. “Thank you, Miu.”

 

Ichika didn’t expect a response. Miu never needed to say one.

Notes:

Did you know the amount of hours I've spent on pjsk in the last four days (And I've still had school, by the way) is 59 hours?

Chapter 103

Notes:

My final placement for Mizu5 was 215, if anyone was curious. 38 million event points.

Would y'all believe me If I said I'm going for round 2 (Ena5 T1K)?

 

Empty expanses hid beneath the ever-looming labyrinth, with a cocoon toiling against Kohane’s metallic skin. Her eyes were weak from the tears, her body trembling, her tone lost to time.

 

How long had it been since she was this alone, with no direction left to lead?

 

“She’s not dead,” Kohane’s voice was barely eligible. “Sh-she’s…”

 

No words would ever bring her back.

 

It didn’t matter how long she’d sulk, encased in metal, hiding from the world she had wrought.

 

Kohane had long since accepted her fate was nothing more than a hoax. That she’d end up sacrificing her life to save An’s.

 

But after all that An had done, fighting into the battle she couldn’t accept, stubbornly dying, falling, destroying herself in the process.

 

“Mage Azusawa.”

 

Kohane’s eyes grasped onto the sight of the new recruit – the one she had brought over from the coronation, who fled a fallen kingdom to seek her own.

 

“Mafuyu…?” Kohane wiped off her tears, trying to focus on the mage in front of her.

 

“You have gotten a request.” Mafuyu began, her eyes unmoving, her hand secured in the blade she held towards her side – a channelling artifact, like the one that…

 

…That Shiho used to hold.

 

“I can’t,” Kohane shook her head. “I need An to come home first, I-”

 

“-An is dead.”

 

Kohane looked at the indigo-eyed individual, at her stricken, heartless eyes, at the skin she watched tear apart and reform.

 

“NO!” Kohane screamed, slamming her hand into the wall, sending metal to coil around Mafuyu’s body, scars burning into her flesh with reckless abandon.

 

“AN ISN’T DEAD!” Kohane grabbed onto Mafuyu, pulling her up with her bare hands, before thrusting her to the ground. “AN ISN’T-! SHE-!”

 

“Azusawa-” Mafuyu tried to look up, but Kohane silenced her.

 

“NO! YOU DON’T-” Kohane’s voice pierced  Mafuyu’s ears, blood spilling from the indigo mage’s sides.

 

And yet, that piercing gaze, that look of malice, that hissing, following stare.

 

Just like his.

 

“Stop it…! STOP IT! STOP LOOKING AT ME!”

 

Kohane raised her fist, seconds from crushing Mafuyu to a hunk of flesh and bone.

 

She was… bleeding. Wounded. Seconds from death.

 

All because of Kohane.

 

All because of…

 

Her.

 

“Ha… hah…” Kohane recoiled, her body numb as she backed away. “I… hurt…”

 

She hurt someone she trusted.

 

If It was An, If An-

 

“I’m… sorry,” Kohane’s eyes grew wide with horror. “An isn’t… de-dead, she isn’t…!”

 

“I’ll-!” Mafuyu let out a ravaged cough. “-T-tell the council of your… denial of the request.”

 

“…” Kohane didn’t respond, her eyes barely able to follow the indigo-eyed mage as she ducked her way out of Kohane’s room.

 

Kohane held her breath, her eyelids heavy.

 

“I’m… sorry…”

 

Sorry wouldn’t bring An back.

 

Nothing… would bring An back.

Notes:

Lo and behold, I have finally added in Mafuyu.

Chapter 104

Notes:

Two chapters in one day? Post Mizu5 clarity

How long will you keep up this lie?

 

That was the question that haunted Honami so. A belief, so strong, that her eyes fell victim to the tides, that the stars in the sea reflected nothing more than who she truly was.

 

A monster, a murderer, a mage born to destroy.

 

Ever since Honami had spent her time in Shinonome, Queen Ena had given her a pair of gloves, made to heal her wounds and callouses of the skin which once rotted. Honami was eternally grateful, but every now and then, her skin itched for the release and consumption of SoulDust – and thus, bringing forth her villainy.

 

Everything had changed. Her eyes, which once saw malice, now saw refined hurt and nausea. Her body, once rotted and misconstrued, now smooth, healing, barricaded.

 

“There’s still so much to prepare,” Akito began, staring back at the map of Imperia laid out on the roundtable. “Invasion… no, we can’t go back to Shinonome, their numbers are already thin enough…”

 

These meetings ran through like water, Honami being the dam. Each word, each hiss of disgust towards Shinonome, had her waiting, watching, questioning everything.

 

“How about we… count our own numbers?” Honami asked, earning a shuffling hum from Akito.

 

“If Tsukasa’s still out there, we should try and find him,” Akito bartered. “Fuck, I should be able to find him,”

 

“…” Saki’s face dropped. “I know… Tsukasa. He’ll come back when he can.”

 

They both knew he was dead.

 

“He could be in the alliance,” Akito bartered. “It might not be safe for him to even be here, he-”

 

“-We can’t force him to show up, Commander Akito.” Saki spoke up, silencing the ginger-haired knight. “We have to… keep going. Prepare for the war.”

 

“-Wh…” Honami began, only for her enthusiasm to die out.

 

“You can say it,” Saki offered, giving her a gentle, reinforced grin.

 

“Why don’t... we wait until they attack first?”

 

A harsh claim, a preposterous whisper, something that Honami knew would spark conflict.

 

And yet, as the gleaming sun poured through the stained glass, as the reflections of past and present continued to watch over them, did Saki slowly nod.

 

“…That’s perfect!” Saki grinned. “Oh, and then we can attack the Queen in secret! A-and you know the layout.”

 

“What?” Honami tried to hide her discomfort. “You want… me to go there? To assassinate the queen?”

 

“It’s a huge task,” Akito retorted. “Assasinating En- the Queen could prove as a tad more difficult than just walking through.”

 

“But it’s Hona-chan,” Saki reminded the ginger.

 

Honami wish it didn’t hurt hearing those words.

 

Because now, they dictated a life that Honami no longer led.

 

And yet…

 

Was this the choice she had to make?

 

To kill the people who saved her? To bite the hand that feeds?

 

To… take the life of Ena, all for Saki?

 

…Was this the length she’d go for love?

 

Honami wished that she didn’t have to do this. She was the hypocrite, the one who feasted upon the misery of others, and then, finally, when someone actually chose to save her own meaningless life, did she have to assassinate them.

 

Maybe she’d be able to reason with Ena, to explain, to show Ena to flee. But Saki would always find out. Find out that Honami was a traitor.

 

Would she survive? Would Saki show mercy upon her? Would she have to pray to Miku for there to be another way?

 

Would she be able to live with herself if she betrayed Saki again?

 

“I’ll do it, Saki.” Honami watched the words tumble out of her mouth, the final question sending her impulses into overdrive. “As long as you join me.”

 

“What?” Akito gritted his teeth. “But Saki’s awakened. People would go insane if they saw that people like Saki actually exist.”

 

“I’ll do it too,” Saki confirmed. “No one knows I’m like this, and… I want to finally be able to see Shinonome with my eyes before it’s gone.”

 

What price would Honami take, if it were for her to learn to love?

 

How long would it take for her to accept it, too?

 

Honami knew that, when she finally got to Shinonome, she’d apologise to Amia.

 

Honami hoped that, if Amia was in the same position, she’d do the same.

Notes:

You're welcome, Aki. The arc has come.

Chapter 105

“Got new news for me, Queen?”

 

Shizuku was bound to make it routine to visit An once every several days, and yet, she still hated that she couldn’t tell anyone of these estranged visits.

 

She had the final say, the responsibility as a leader to do everything in her power to free An. But the Alliance would never accept someone like An without Ichika awake. Not when Ichika risked her life for An.

 

“…I was simply checking up on your decision.” Shizuku answered, earning a half-hearted snicker from the woman in the cage.

 

“Oh, don’t give me this shit. I know you’re here to tell me to hurry up and that time is running out for you to do your royal duties,” An mocked.

 

“I come here to escape those duties.” Shizuku admitted. She had no reason to lie to An when she couldn’t accept it as the truth.

 

“So your free time is wasted on me.” An muttered in discontentment.

 

“It isn’t wasted.” Shizuku retorted, only to earn a huff from An.

 

“Sure, like talking to me is so fun.” The mage spat back.

 

“You’re… nice to talk to.” Shizuku responded, shutting down An’s self-deprecation once again. “I trust you.”

 

It seemed that An found that response as real, sending a harrowing silence to waft against the cell.

 

“Oh,” An’s voice was quiet. “You… huh.”

 

Shizuku wanted to hug An, to hold her hands, to tell her that it was all okay, even if she’d get thrown to the ground and attacked for it. She hated seeing An like this.

 

All Shizuku wished for was to see An finally get out of this state, to let herself be loved.

 

And yet… she barely ever opened up, like it was too much for her to even think about.

 

But there was one small detail Shizuku noticed. An seemed to open up whenever Ichika was brought up, no matter what it truly was.

 

If this was the only way for An to get better, then Shizuku had to try.

 

“Ichika had done all she could to keep you alive. I don’t want her sacrifice to be in vain.”

 

An’s eyes drifted upwards, morphing from a scowl to something more neutral, if a tad monotone.

 

An shuffled in her cell, letting out a rich sigh. “You say that like she…” An began. “Never mind.”

 

Shizuku didn’t press further. She knew there was more than just a sentence to this.

 

“Why are you so… afraid of speaking your own thoughts,” Shizuku brought up, earning another sharp hiss of amusement from An, even if it wasn’t real amusement.

 

“Fine then,” An rolled her eyes, but her playful expression didn’t quite reach her eyes.

 

It was silent before An even said anything, her own body slowly moving away from aggression and into something more human.

 

“Can I… tell you something?” An asked, hesitation filling up her mind, her eyes weakly glaring out at nothingness.

 

“Of course, An.” Shizuku nodded her head.

 

At first, An led with silence, as if this secret was something she had to wait to find before telling Shizuku.

 

“Sorry, just… give me a second,” the mage scowled, trying to find the words.

 

Shizuku would wait as long as possible as long as An felt comfortable.

 

“When I lost Flower, I…” An began, only for her to shut her mouth in panic. “Fuck. Fuck.”

 

“…Flower?” Shizuku repeated, offering An the chance to speak again.

 

“…” An looked up at Shizuku, her gaze entrapped with horror. “Damn it, I shouldn’t have said… anything…!”

 

“Is Flower the name of your awakened?”

 

Despite Shizuku not knowing much about dark mages, one of the few things Shiho told Shizuku was that when mages awaken, their affinities take sentience. Shizuku didn’t know if these people had names, or how they worked at all.

 

“…Yeah. Yeah, they… also used my body to speak, and to-to swap out, and other things,” An tried to speak, but every time she’d say something, her eyes would jitter away.

 

“When I… lost them, when Ichika rewrote my fate, Flower said something to me.” An’s voice was riddled in conflict.

 

“Ichika is linked to the creator Miku, and… if that is true, then Ichika will wake up.”

 

Shizuku stared at An, at the hope An had for Ichika to live. She didn’t know what to say.

 

I saw it with my own eyes, what Ichika looked like. She can rewrite someone’s fate.

 

Then why, out of all the things Shizuku felt, did she find it so difficult to believe?

 

“-You say that she won’t wake up, that the coma will last forever,” An continued. “But she would’ve died on impact if she unawakened. I don’t even know how I’m alive,”

 

Is Ichika really… linked to the creator?

 

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Shizuku wished she didn’t ask it, but it didn’t feel right that An would tell Shizuku something like this.

 

An paused, only to hold up a grin – one that Shizuku didn’t know if it was fake or not.

 

“I thought you’d actually be able to fact-check me.” An strung along, her voice shrill, yet assured in her philosophy. “Didn’t think that the wise mage herself would’ve been so secretive, huh?”

 

Ichika may be a celestial mage, but would that somehow equate to being Miku herself? … Was Ichika really a person?

 

Of course she is. Shizuku shoved the thought aside. No god would be like Ichika. Because Ichika was… human.

 

“…Quit looking at me like that.” An spat out, turning away from Shizuku. “Do you really think that Ichika’s normal? That her, managing to reverse time itself for me, is somehow not as insane?”

 

“-But Ichika’s human.” Shizuku bartered.

 

She has to be.

 

“-No shit!” An yelled at Shizuku, scolding her. “Hah, you suddenly think that, for some stupid reason, she wouldn’t be human just because Miku’s looking after her?”

 

Shizuku couldn’t believe this.

 

She didn’t want to believe it.

 

“But Ichika is normal. She’s a celestial mage.”

 

“-And celestial mages just… do that? Turn into a living god and still survive?”

 

“-Please, be quiet.” Shizuku pulled away, her eyes detatched from An.

 

An, of course, didn’t abide by the rules Shizuku set out.

 

“You’re right about one thing, Queen.” An snaked her voice back to Shizuku, earning nothing but a loose hum from the monarch.

 

“Ichika saved me, and none of us know why.”

 

“I would’ve done the same.” Shizuku uttered. She didn’t even realise she said it until An’s silence rung through her ears.

 

“…” An’s footsteps echoed as she paced through her cell. “Hmph.” She mumbled.

 

“Queen, why do you always say such naïve things,” An muttered, her eyes glaring at Shizuku with such contempt.

 

“Because to you, I can actually say them.”

 

Because I trust you, An.

 

I don’t know why, but I trust you.

 

“…” An’s silence would always remain thick. A harrowing, noticeable absence of An’s presence. The way her eyes dragged about, how her breaths grew deep, how her hands failed to even do so much as rattle the confinements.

 

“I… hate this.”

 

Shizuku’s eyes twisted directly to An.

 

These words were no lies.

 

“I know I shouldn’t be telling you,” An’s face grew sour, melancholy lost upon her bare skin. “But… I hate that I want to see you coming down those stupid fucking stairs. I hate that I want to hear that voice of yours.”

 

An took in a deep breath, her tone shaken.

 

“I hate that you make me feel less alone. Hah, it’s so stupid…!”

 

Shizuku watched An. She knew how much was conflicting her, how much An hated just speaking about this.

 

But Shizuku was there to listen, to watch, to hear without judgement.

 

“-Fuck, I… you’re not even mad at me for saying this shit!” An yelled, trying to make sense of her own words. “You just let me speak. I hate it! Why do you have to be so- so kind!”

 

“Why? WHY? Why won’t you hurt me? Why won’t you silence me? Why do you care?”

 

Shizuku knew the answer, hiding it inside her throat.

 

She knew it would cause An to go insane, but Shizuku couldn’t bring herself to let the answer out.

 

“J-just TELL ME! TELL ME!” An screamed, banging the cell bars, her eyes laced with frustration and despair.

 

“-Get away from Lady Shizuku!”

 

Shizuku watched Haruka dash down the stairs, her sword arched at An as if she were a threat even inside her cell.

 

“Haruka, don’t threaten An.” Shizuku stepped forward, turning to her friend. “Put the sword down.”

 

“But she was-” Haruka began, her tongue flailing as she turned back to An. “…I thought she was out of her cell.”

 

“Do not hurt An.” Shizuku reiterated, her tone firm. “The Alliance isn’t known for murder.”

 

“-Sounds like you’re just taking a jab at me, huh, Queen.” An smirked, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I am a… murderer, y’know.”

 

“No.” Shizuku didn’t let her tone waver. “You are not a monster.”

 

Haruka took her gaze towards Shizuku, confusion laced against her face, shadows coaxing her blade as she slowly sheathed it.

 

“My… sincerest apologies, Shiraishi. I shouldn’t have thought of you so lowly.” Haruka bowed her head. “Your strategy was undeniably effective, and I… commend you for allowing us to speak to you.”

 

An’s face contorted from shock to confusion, then slowly, to denial.

 

“Don’t you fucking start to pity me.” An hissed. “If you ever so much as think that I’ll be charitable to-”

 

“-She’s not pitying you.” Shizuku answered. “None of us do.”

 

Haruka nodded, slowly turning around to leave. She knew she was needed elsewhere, and to An, it felt patronising. Belittling, even.

 

“You really think that I’m a genius.” An didn’t divert her eyes. “That I… am human.”

 

“I truly do, An.” Shizuku offered her hand. “You’re like… Shiho, a victim, a pawn who was used by the wrong people.”

 

“…I just want you to finally be free.”

 

An looked up at Shizuku, her own silence deafening.

 

It was as if something snapped in An.

 

“You… love me.” An choked on her words. “Oh, how did I not see this sooner…!”

 

“So it really was that obvious.” Shizuku’s smile was faint. “Yes, An, I…”

 

Shizuku couldn’t bring herself to say it.

 

She was a Queen. She had no time to reflect on things such as this.

 

“-I don’t like you back.” An rasped out, forcing the words, as if Shizuku would leave her. And to her, she wanted Shizuku to leave.

 

Well, she thought she wanted Shizuku to leave.

 

But Shizuku wasn’t like that. It wasn’t how she worked.

 

“That’s okay, An.” Shizuku reached out her hand again. “As long as you’re okay… I’ll be okay.”

 

I have to let her go.

 

I have to do this.

 

An didn’t expect it, her eyes growing distant, her hands toiling against the chains as she heard the words leave Shizuku’s mouth.

 

“…Why?” An huffed, as if it was the only thing she could say.

 

Shizuku didn’t say a word, only grabbing the key of the cell out of her pocket.

 

I’m sorry, An. I shouldn’t be so selfish.

 

There was no use keeping An as prisoner, after all.

 

“You’re free, now.” Shizuku hummed, letting the cuffs fall off of An’s arms. “I’m… sorry for keeping you here.”

 

“No,” An shook her head. “No, you’re not just gonna leave me to- to go on my own!” She stumbled forward, grabbing Shizuku’s wrist. “You’re not gonna leave me!”

 

…What?

 

“But…” Shizuku tore her gaze away. “I’ve kept you here long enough. I shouldn’t have. All because I-”

 

“You’re still my friend!” An shouted. “Fuck, Queen, just because I don’t love you back doesn’t mean I don’t give a shit! I…” An pulled Shizuku closer to her. “I’ll take that stupid deal!”

 

Shizuku stared at An. At that passion she held. At this slow, affirming voice that once would only ever deny reality to avoid the mistreatment.

 

“You’ll… stay?” Shizuku tried to find the words, but all she could see was just how beautiful An was.

 

“Show me where I’m staying,” An affirmed. “It’ll probably take a while to get used to, but that doesn’t matter now,”

 

“I… understand.” Shizuku nodded. “Thank you, An.”

 

I’m sorry that I love you.

Notes:

Me when i get bored of the basic 'i love you and you love me and we're too afraid to say it' so I just make it one-sided but the one person who actually loves the other person won't let themselves feel anything so it's just heavy yearning and a recipe for angst

Chapter 106

Shiho roamed across her room, her whetstone worn through from sharpening her blade. She had barely any time to herself, with her hallucinations haunting her, and with Ichika no longer being by her side.

 

She had yet to go to the meeting room, and yet, her eyes were still hidden behind shadows, and her hands slowly drifted from being her own. She had lost everything. She had watched everyone be taken from her.

 

But she couldn’t bring herself to arch the sword. Not until the day Ichika stopped breathing, until the day Kaito came to her and told her it was all useless.

 

She had to keep moving. It wasn’t her decision to stop. She had to keep going.

 

“Shii-chan,” Tipped in Shizuku, who slowly wandered her way inside Shiho’s office. It wasn’t like Shiho needed an office, but it was there for her.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” Shiho mumbled, sheathing her blade. “Sorry for the… wait.”

 

Shiho almost unsheathed her sword.

 

Torn. Torn. Torn. Cold, amber eyes plucked from fossilised magma. Clothes ripped and squandered, barely able to wrap against a form so unfamiliar. Hands and skin, blemished with the white reflections of scars, littered with a purple hue.

 

A face, unable to turn, unable to pull from such blood that’d flood from one’s fingertips.

 

AN.

 

“You, y-you, you…” Shiho trembled backwards, her breaths heavy. Her body was shut down, her mind barely able to numb itself out, an internal heave of trauma willing to follow such insolence.

 

Why do I have to face… why do I… why do I…!

 

Would the curtains ever trace the windowsills, or would the sight be plastered, staining the glass?

 

She couldn’t take this. She didn’t want any of this. She wanted to die. To escape. To leave.

 

Shiho didn’t bring herself to arch her sword, unable to reason with the mere idea that, in one wrong move, An would burst at the seams and end her own life.

 

“Little… sis.” An uttered. Her smile was niche, her arms backing away, as if she was waiting for Shiho.

 

“Get away from me!” Shiho yelled, grabbing onto her sword, only for her to fail to pull it out.

 

Shiho could feel the sensation of adrenaline flooding through her veins. She tried to step forward, only for her knees to give in.

 

Shiho tumbled to the floor, only able to holster herself up by the bare force in her hands. She gripped the floor, trying to steady herself, only to look back up at where the shadow now remained.

 

Gone.

 

She was gone.

 

Shiho blinked. No, she would’ve… attacked me…

 

Shiho was dumbfounded. Her eyes were wide, her emotions at an all time high. She wanted to scream, but her voice was dry and flaky.

 

She failed to notice that An had changed.

 

Why did it hurt more than An attacking her? Was it pride? Her instincts? Stress?

 

“Wh…” Shiho felt her heart heave in her chest. She slowly approached the exit of her office, and yet…

 

Shiho wanted to shut her eyes, to pretend this was all a ruse, another hallucination.

 

“She’s going to hurt Shizuku.” Muttered Airi.

 

“She… would’ve done that earlier.” Shiho rebutted, but her heart grew hollow from arguing.

 

An…

 

Shiho felt like she was some… ghost. Her soul swam through layers upon layers of hurt she could barely unpack even if it meant death and damnation. It was like mourning the loss of something that never existed.

 

No. She wasn’t going to let such grief overcome her. She had to face this, to move on.

 

To let An prove herself.

 

Even if she didn’t deserve a second chance.

 

Shiho slammed her door, her breaths heavy as she made her way to the meeting room. Her gaze continued to fall, despite how desperately she wanted to seem secure in this decision.

 

And there she was, standing next to Shizuku.

 

Shiraishi An.

 

Murderer. Monster. Pawn.

 

“You want to talk privately, don’t you,” An noticed. Her tone was refined, just as it normally was, if a tad uncertain.

 

Shiho didn’t respond, but judging by the mere fact that An was approaching her, she was serious.

 

“Your office is back there,” An pointed, following through the hall, passing Shiho without even so much as a claw arched at her neck.

 

“…” Shiho shuffled into her office, her eyes lost, her heartbeat rhythmically attacking her other senses, trying to keep her on edge despite how relaxed An remained.

 

“Why are you here…” Shiho began, unable to look An in the eye. “Why… are you like this?”

 

“Hah, you make it sound like I’ve suddenly changed,” An rolled her eyes. “I would try and threaten you guys, but now I’m like… this. It’d be pretty useless to attack you all.”

 

Shiho didn’t say a word, her eyes barely able to view An.

 

“I can see why you left.”

 

“You have no idea why I left.” Shiho spat out, finally allowing her gaze to dig into An, cruel and cold. “It was never my choice.”

 

“Yell at me all you like, but it was still your choice to make.” An rebutted. “Yeah, sure, someone else gave you the idea, but you’d still have to act on it.”

 

“What if it was someone’s dying wish?”

 

An fell silent.

 

Shiho knew what happened with Nagi, how stern and cold An would become when hearing the death that was hidden from her.

 

“…Tagaki wanted you to come here, didn’t she.” An muttered, defeated. Her eyes were lost amongst her insomnia-driven daze. Her hands were tugging at her sides, methodical and painful.

 

An let out a laugh, but it wasn’t out of amusement. Almost as if she was testifying, and easing the mood was all she could do.

 

An tried to look back up at Shiho, but nothing An did ever reached Shiho’s gaze.

 

“…I know you wouldn’t be the one to… kill her.” An treaded lightly, taking in a deep breath through every word she let herself utter. “…She was literally your… other half.”

 

“Don’t talk about it like you somehow know more than anyone else,” Shiho snapped.

 

“But I do, Shiho.” An stepped forward. “Who else here has been a dark mage?”

 

“-Then who did you split your affinity with?” Shiho spat. “Who did you watch brutally die?”

 

“Who killed her, Shiho.” An begged, holding her ground. “Did she do it to herself? Was it someone irrelevant? Was it the king or queen, or an assassin?”

 

“You don’t get an answer from me!” Shiho snapped back. “For all I know, you’re gonna run back to them and kidnap me again!”

 

Shiho let out a ravaged breath.

 

“I don’t want to go back there, An! I don’t want to see them, to hear them order my life like I’m a toy!” Shiho turned away. “I… can’t accept losing myself to them again…!”

 

An looked at Shiho, then back at her hand. "They..." An began, only to stop and rephrase herself, almost like talking about the dark mages was something she wished to avoid at all costs.

 

"I never wanted to leave, but... I get it." An trembled on her words. "It's the best and the worst decision I've ever made, but... all of them..." 

 

“…Kohane’s gonna hate me.” An’s voice was barely audible. “She’s gonna scream at me for leaving her. They all will."

 

“Is that why you’re such a coward?” Shiho glared, malice spilling from her tongue. “Why you’ve become such a fucking hypocrite, hiding here when you hunted me for doing the exact same? Because you just can't face criticism?”

 

“You don’t know my situation,” An attempted to reason. “I mean, I don’t even know why Ichika saved me, why anyone gave me a damn chance.” An’s brows furrowed, a spite riddled in what was deserving hidden inside one’s façade.

 

“…I know you’re better than me, Shiho. You actually fought to get here, while I was just handed it.”

 

“Take her name out of your mouth.” Shiho harrowed, her throat raw, her eyes glaring at the one who stood before her. “You don’t know Ichika. She saved you because if she didn’t, she’d have died.”

 

“-Then why did Miku show up?” An pressed, trying her best to reason with someone who infinitely had all the answers lined right up.

 

“Because Ichika is her pupil.” Shiho muttered. “And you… you were going to kill her.”

 

An let out a shrill laugh. “Huh, so you know about it,” She grinned. “Your sister was confused when I brought it up, y’know.”

 

“Don’t act like we are friends when you tried to kill the one I love.”

 

An paused.

 

“So… you two loving each other isn’t a joke.” An’s eyes grew disoriented. “I thought it was just Ichika… being all, y’know…”

 

“She’s in a coma because of you, An. I’m sure you could understand why I’d be upset.”

 

“Can I… see her?” An’s voice was quiet. The question was hollow, but held so much weight.

 

Shiho couldn’t gatekeep Ichika’s existence. Ichika saved An, and even if it wasn’t purposeful, she still didn’t kill An.

 

“…Come with me.” Shiho murmured, turning to the door.

 

I have a… visitor, Ichika.

Notes:

I love writing these two because they have the same past, and both leave, but approach leaving in completely different ways. Character foils, even.

Chapter 107

Ichika’s eyes were swallowed continuously by the sight of Tenma, the older, more refined view hidden in Shiho’s constellation.

 

Occasionally, when she felt like she wanted to speak to Miu, she’d hover over the odd brunette and await a moment to speak to her.

 

Now was one such moments.

 

“Ichika,” Hummed Miu, her eyes glancing up from her own hands. “Are you staying here?”

 

“I want to watch over Shiho,” Ichika nodded.

 

“Then why are you near me?” Miu commented, running a hand through her hair.

 

“You also watch over Shiho, and I…” Ichika looked at Miu, at the girl doomed to be threaded through Saki’s golden fingertips. “…I want to see you.”

 

Of everyone Ichika had met, Miu was the one who had impacted the most lives. All dark mages knew of her. Everyone Ichika had met had the name ‘Tagaki Miu’ stained on their psyche. She was the girl who created a history, a war, a life for everyone to watch unravel from her own whimsy.

 

Ichika was sheltered for most of her life, with affinities and mages deeply forbidden and undeniably executed in any matter of time. Rui, an inventor, barely showed off his affinity before his own death. The study of affinities inside the Tenma border was so tightly restricted that even wearing robes of a mage would lead to torture.

 

Ichika believed that the only guidance of godhood was to look at the stars and use a blade to carve the will of a deity. She didn’t even know that dark mages existed. That Shinonome welcomed mages. She thought that the alliance only served knights and partnered with simple geniuses of the Otori province, not that everywhere was completely and utterly littered with mages.

 

But she thought a lot of things before she had ever managed to escape that cage.

 

“What was it like… growing up as a mage?” Ichika questioned, only to earn a sigh from Miu.

 

“I don’t want to be a mage.” She hissed out. “I wanted to be a wanderer. On the surface.”

 

“A… nomad?” Ichika tipped her head to the side.

 

“What’s that?” Miu asked, but her eyes didn’t reach Ichika. She stood still, her skin burdened with knowledge no young child should ever be able to accept.

 

“Someone who doesn’t have a home and goes place-to-place. They’re not searching for a home, but rather… exploring the world.”

 

Miu brought her hand to her chin. “So the world is their home?”

 

“Yes,” Ichika nodded. “I have… a few friends that are nomads. Your goals sound like theirs.”

 

Miu didn’t respond, her gaze fixated on her gloved hand, her body drearily covered by a robe that was far too big on her. Something she’d ‘have to grow into,’ but never would.

 

“I wanted to be born in the… alliance.” Miu began. “They’re free. Happy. But I’d only create a war for them.” Miu mumbled.

 

“…Are you from the alliance, Ichika?” Miu asked. This was the first time she had ever asked anything more than why Ichika was doing things.

 

“I was raised in Tenma, threatened with a bounty on my head, and escaped with Shiho.” Ichika prefaced. “But yeah, I live in the alliance now.”

 

“Sounds like Shiho,” Miu hummed. Her voice was always faint, her tone turned to whispers, her eyes gravitating towards her own hands as if they held the answers she so desired.

 

Ichika knew it wasn’t correct, but she decided to confide in Miu.

 

“I want to… see her,” Ichika began. “The creator has put my body in a coma, and…” Ichika let out a sigh “No, I shouldn’t pressure you with the future.”

 

“-Can I learn about the future, Ichika?” Miu perked up.

 

Ichika almost thought that Miu was a different person from the urgency in her voice.

 

“Since you won’t be able to experience it,” Ichika paused, bringing her hand to her chin. “I can tell you.”

 

“I promise not to do anything to interrupt the future.” Miu bowed her head. “I promise.”

 

“You’re… probably wondering what happens to the dark mages after you die,” Ichika began, watching carefully as Miu took a seat and stared back at Ichika intently.

 

“Shiho flees to the Alliance. I don’t know exactly what she does, but she stays there while the mages try and find her. I think… there was a war at the alliance, but nothing came of it.”

 

“I… see.” Miu nodded. “Go on.”

 

“Eventually, Shiho comes back here to try and kill Saki, around two years after you die. …She fails, but that’s when I first really see Shiho.” Ichika allows herself a bittersweet smile, even if it doesn’t mean much. “I wanted to kill her for hurting my childhood friend, but she fled back home.”

 

“Around five to six years later, she comes back, requested to be here for the coronation. I, uh… try to kill her.”

 

“Makes sense.” Miu nodded.

 

“W-well,” Ichika tried to reason, only for her words to run dry.

 

“Go on.” Miu repeated, her odd eagerness to understand a time she’d never experience almost tantalising to her.

 

“Then, one day, Rui, the royal inventor, had died. And Saki blamed it on me.”

 

“Kamishiro?” Miu asked. “He… leaves the mages?”

 

“He was a dark mage?” Ichika questioned, only to earn a nod from Miu.

 

“Well, after he… died, Saki had blamed it on me. I still don’t know who did it, but they are the reason that I no longer have a life in Tenma.”

 

“What happened after that?” Miu continued, sitting at the edge of her seat.

 

“Saki threatened me. Said I didn’t care about her, or her kingdom, and… tried to kill me.” Ichika’s words mellowed. “I-I wanted to reason with her, but I was a coward. I ran away from her, landing at a tree on the outskirts, right near the graveyard.”

 

“I thought it was just, that if I had disappeared, if I had died, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. But apparently, Shiho was at the graveyard and came over to me.”

 

“She was probably looking at my grave,” Miu responded. “That may have been the only time she would be able to see it, if she had left that quick.”

 

“Oh.” Ichika’s eyes grew sombre. “I’m… sorry.”

 

“Go on.” Miu told Ichika, effectively silencing her pity.

 

“I finally heard Shiho’s story, and… I confided in her.” Ichika smiled bittersweetly. “She saved me. Helped me escape. But just as we were getting to the border of the alliance, we were attacked.”

 

Ichika looked back at her arm.

 

She remembered the sight. The way it was torn out of her body, crushed, bloodied. The way she tried to scramble out of the war zone just to find her own depravity.

 

“My arm was ripped off, and an old friend of mine had come back to fight me. …In the end, that same person I called friend had kidnapped Shiho and held her hostage.”

 

Miu’s face grew tense.

 

“I-I ran, failing to protect Shiho, knowing that I would die. But I didn’t. Shiho’s sister found me, took me in, and reassured me that everything was okay. …I didn’t tell her that Shiho was kidnapped. I lied to her.”

 

“Shiho’s sister is alive?” Miu questioned.

 

“Y-yeah. She’s the Queen of the alliance.” Ichika nodded. “She’s so… kind. If you got to meet her, she’d pamper you with constant affection.”

 

“I… see.” Miu took in what Ichika was saying. “What happens after that?”

 

“I finally tell Shizuku where Shiho is, and she runs back to Tenma. …Then, on that same week, Shiho comes back.”

 

“How?” Miu asked.

 

“I don’t know much, but I think an insider had helped Shiho to escape. Maybe a-a guard, or a soldier, or maybe even the prince. Either way, I took her to the infirmary, and tried to hold off on telling her where Shizuku was. But eventually…”

 

“You told her.” Miu finished off.

 

“Shiho was horrified, just as I expected. She sent a carriage for us to go to Tenma immediately. Then… we got there.”

 

Ichika looked down at her hand, but this time, she remembered the sparks, the way it lunged into the flesh of another human being.

 

“I was so consumed by my rage that I ran to Saki, threatening her just as she did to me. Dark mages, two of them, we’re trying to get Shiho from Saki. And my rage boiled… over.”

 

“I killed her. I let my own hand dig into her, over, and over, and… over.” Ichika let out a ravaged breath. “And then, I… watched her ascend.”

 

“But… oh, right, it’s Saki.” Miu reminded herself.

 

“You know why Saki is that way?” Ichika asked, only to earn a weary gaze.

 

“I cannot speak.” Miu explained. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s alright,” Ichika informed the smaller girl. “You probably want to know what happens next, right.”

 

Ichika took in a deep breath. “Shiho finally told me she was a dark mage in that moment, and I accepted her. We fled Tenma, my own emotions on high, and as we finally got back… my mind kept going back to that moment.”

 

“I’m afraid of her. Of Saki. I wanted to get stronger, and stronger, to be able to face her. Shizuku and Airi went out to Shinonome, and while taking on their duties, I’d only ever train. Day in, day out, I’d… wreck myself until there was nothing for me to fight.”

 

“Eventually, Shiho made me this prosthetic. I’d finally stop training, knowing that I could use both hands, but I’d still get those… nightmares. Saki would haunt me, and the idea of losing Shiho was what I was most afraid would happen.”

 

“Did Saki come to you?” Miu asked, predicting what would happen.

 

“…No. But Shizuku came back from Shinonome, without Airi, Shiho’s mentor, and someone she trusted a great deal.”

 

“She’d get hallucinations of Airi.” Miu realised. “The affinity split would cause her mind to break.”

 

“She did. I tried to help her, but I was still in the mindset that I needed to get stronger.” Ichika frowned, her eyes downcast, her brows furrowed.

 

“I made a beacon for awakened mages to find me, just to grow stronger. I put everyone in danger, and hurt Shiho just as much as Saki hurt me. …But I thought that, at the time, if I could kill one of the people from Shiho’s past, she’d be free of another burden.”

 

Ichika halted the tears. “I failed. An bested me, almost cutting my throat and ripping me in half.”

 

“And then… Miku spoke to me, granting me a moment to ascend and change everything. I felt all of it, the anger, the grief, the sadness. I didn’t want to murder another person, or hurt An. So I unawakened her.”

 

“…” Miu’s breath stifled. “You altered her fate.” The brunette swallowed dryly. “Then… why are you here?”

 

“After I awakened, the creator had let me turn back into my regular self, and in order not to kill me… I now rest in her plane, looking over the memories of the one I love, having no idea when I’ll go back.”

 

Miu didn’t say anything. Her words were barely enough to emulate her shock.

 

“I’m sorry, was that too much?” Ichika tripped over her own words.

 

“No.” Miu shook her head. “…Thank you.”

 

The smaller mage turned away and towards the door. “I’ll see you again, Ichika.” She uttered.

 

Somehow, Miu seemed at ease. Like all of this was somehow allowing her to relax.

 

Ichika felt glad, even if Miu’s life was fleeting.

 

She never deserved to die the way she did.

 

“Farewell, Miu.”

Chapter 108

 

Porcelain marble warped against An’s vision, her eyes still not used to the fluorescence of the surface.

 

And yet, the figure laying against the bed before her filled her with melancholy.

 

“So this is where she’s kept.” An hummed, turning to Shiho.

 

“Yup.” Hummed the doctor, who didn’t seem to care that An – the person who almost murdered Ichika – was somehow staring back at the mess she had created.

 

Right. This was her own fault.

 

I’m a mons-

 

“Wait, aren’t you Shiraishi?” the doctor hummed, her eyes catching onto An. “You look a little worse for wear. I can patch you up quick if you just give me a minute,”

 

“She’s just here to visit.” Shiho stated, trying to look up from Ichika, but her gaze only continued to fall towards the one she loved.

 

“Ah, right,” The doctor nodded. “And you’re here for your usual third trip, aren’t you, Shiho?”

 

“…” An tried her best not to react, but it was a surprise to her that Shiho would visit Ichika three separate times in a day.

 

“At least this time, Kiritani isn’t here to spout her nonsense.”

 

An frowned. “Who’s… Kiritani?”

 

“Haruka. Ex-Tenma tactician and ex-Shinonomian mage.” Shiho explained. “The one who tore off Ichika’s arm.”

 

“She came to visit me once.” An recollected. “She’s real hostile when you’re someone on the other side. Hah, I can only wonder how she managed to rip off Ichika’s arm and still side with her.”

 

“She visited you?” Shiho asked.

 

“Thought I was threatening the Queen during one of her usual visits. Y’know, Shizuku visited me a lot… even let me choose if I wanted to leave. …At first, I didn’t even take it.”

 

“…” Shiho stared at An, but didn’t say a word.

 

“I hope that Ichika did right putting her faith in you.”

 

An turned her eyes back to the person everyone revered as a Savior. The one who was loved by all, who killed the wicked princess of Tenma, who was born an absolute legend.

 

And yet, her arm was cut off. Her body was bruised. Her face, cradled with scars from battles long since past. No saviour would still sport such wounds.

 

Because Ichika was still human despite it.

 

Wait, was that…

 

“She… has a prosthetic?” An squinted, only now noticing the metal, and the small star engraved on the palm. However, it didn’t look chiselled, or melted in.

 

“…I made it.” Shiho explained. “Weaving metal is far easier than weaving blood, An.”

 

“I know, I know.” An nodded. “They tried teaching it to Kohane, but it didn’t really match with her affinity. It’s kinda interesting,”

 

“Awakened?” The healer hummed.

 

“How’d you…” An choked out, her eyes squinting once more. The doctor let out a small laugh before looking back at her checklist.

 

“I don’t tend to care if you’re awakened or not, you know,” she sat down against one of the stools. “Just tell me who’s in control, and I can get through it.”

 

“-Nanamin works under the Kusunagi family.” Shiho elaborated. “She knows almost everything under Imperia.”

 

“-Eh, not everything. Ichika’s a bit of an anomaly.” The doctor, Nanamin, reiterated.

 

“You’re telling me,” An quipped.

 

“I wish that I could just… figure out what’s up with her, but that’s deeply unethical,” Nanamin continued. “But she’ll wake up eventually. I can always ask Nene to do a double check so that she’s okay.”

 

“…I’m sorry.” An sat down, her usual grin downcast. “I… I mean, this is my fault. And she still saved me.”

 

 “It is your fault.” Shiho interjected. “You’re the one who caused this, and you get to live even after everything.” Shiho spat.

 

“Miu died by the hands of the princess we created. She died for nothing. And you? Your death would have meant something. You’d stand by your beliefs instead of flip-flopping and pitying yourself, An.”

 

“I didn’t ask for Ichika to save me,” An gritted her teeth. “I wish she never did, because now I’m useless.”

 

“I’d rather make my own meaning than have my death be the only thing in my life to mean something.” An snapped, standing by her reformation.

 

She was different now. She had changed. And everyone, just as Shizuku had said, could change.

 

“So be it.” Shiho huffed, turning away from An. “Maybe you’ll actually change for the better.”

 

“Wanna bet?” An beckoned, offering out her hand to Shiho.

 

Shiho looked back to An, then to Ichika. The pause was heavy, but An didn’t fail to keep her hand open.

 

I’ll show you. I’ll show everyone I’m not a monster.

 

For… Nagi.

 

“If Ichika wasn’t the one to save your skin, I wouldn’t be speaking to you.” Shiho muttered, slowly inching her hand closer to An. “…She better have had a good reason to have you here.”

 

Shiho sealed the bet, shaking An’s hand, all the while her eyes continued to gaze upon Ichika.

 

An couldn't help but feel guilt skulk over her vision. It had been a long time since she had ever felt it.

 

“Go to the meeting. Knock some sense into the Ayoagis, okay?” Shiho turned her gaze back to the amber-eyed individual.

 

“Can-do, Commander.” An grinned.

 

She knew it would take a lot to finally be able to actually speak to Shiho.

 

But she had a life to lead now. A meaning, an act that she was dedicated to create.

 

Her life was now in her own hands, even if her fingertips were scarred and clawed.

 

She wouldn’t squander this opportunity.

Notes:

I love Shiho and An angst. I don't know why it's so good. it just is.

Chapter 109

Notes:

Do not be me and read angst until midnight and then remember you have angst to write that you’ve been putting off. It is now 1am. I am inexplicably exhausted.

Oh and I won an art competition, yippee. Watch me collapse on the ground after the copious amounts of coffee I have stomached.

Shiho sat on the edge of the bench, her lantern flickering carefully.

 

Her eyes drew back to Ichika, to the body that lay empty, asleep, unconscious.

 

It was a hard thing, understanding the reason to blame. She could blame the beacon and the person who made it, reckless to have thought that it would protect the alliance. She could blame An, who led Ichika into this state. She could blame herself, even, the person who hurt the one she loved by letting her fight.

 

But one thing remained: her body simply haunted Shiho.

 

“I’ve… finished up the weekly report,” Nanamin slowly made her way into the room, her eyes fixated on the papers. “Her mind is oddly active, and even her muscles are moving, but she… isn’t.”

 

Shiho didn’t say anything. Nothing she said could change what was in front of her.

 

“Hey, don’t be so mopey,” Nanamin attempted to reassure Shiho. “There’s far more likely a chance for her to wake up this week than any other.”

 

“But I didn’t protect her.” Shiho watched the words drift out of her mouth like smoke. “I could’ve done something…”

 

Nanamin looked up from her report, a solemn expression painting her conviction.

 

“Have I told you I had a sister, Shiho?”

 

Shiho looked up, noticing the wording.

 

Had.

 

“We weren’t related by blood, but both of us were adopted in the northeast of Otori, next to the Shinonomian border.” Nanamin continued. “My sister, Mai, went out to join a nomad and wander into Shinonome.”

 

Nanamin drew in a sharp breath.

 

“She drowned before she could ever make it there. That nomad carried her back, begging that I knew how to save her. …I didn’t. And because I didn’t know how to save her life, I now no longer have her.”

 

Nanamin paused, letting out a horrifically calm exhale. “To be able to save people is my job now, but every vial I check, every pulse I measure… only reminds me of how I could’ve saved Mai.”

 

”Safe to say, I know what it’s like to…” Nanamin began, but her words faded out of Shiho’s ears to welcome another.

 

“Ichika’s already dead and you know it.” Miu spat to Shiho, looming over her. Loose eyes gripped onto Shiho’s gaze, filling her with an uncomfortable dread thst her heart couldn’t muster to confront.

 

“How long will it take for you to lie to yourself, like you lied to everyone else?”

 

Shiho flinched, standing upwards, her eyes wide. “No, shut up,” Shiho backed away, trying to fiddle with her sword.

 

Blood pooled at the knight’s feet, dripping from her hands, falling, falling, falling.

 

“Sh-Shiho,” stumbled Nanamin, but the knight’s eyes were plagued, her hands sweaty, her heart born to take the words that trembled from the hallucination’s mouth.

 

“Look at yourself.” Miu stepped forward, arching empty eyes. “Look at what you’ve become. If I was An, would you also threaten me?”

 

“S-stop,” Shiho felt her hands fall upon an empty scabbard.

 

“Why should I listen to you, when all you want is to silence me?”

 

Shiho jittered, her eyes disputing wether she should stay or run.

 

But she was never a coward.

 

“Y-”

 

“You’re pathetic.”

 

Shiho felt a sharp breath exit her mouth, her eyes unable to shake the harrowing pain that flooded her insides.

 

“Hey, Shiho, what’s wr-”

 

“-And so what if I’m pathetic?” Shiho angled her words at the hallucination. “I’m not letting you take my life from me.”

 

“You never deserved to be saved by this place.”

 

Shiho stepped backwards, powerless to speak.

 

-Was this really a HALLucination? W-was she juST-

 

Shiho felt a sudden dizziness arch itself towards her, sending her to her knees.

 

“We both know how stupid you are, Shiho.” Miu continued, her shadow daunting, hovering against Shiho’s shaken state. “You’ll never be happy.”

 

“…” Shiho’s eyes fell glassy, coaxed with tears. She felt a hiss of pain coil against her throat, ghosting, glazing her face with an unreality she believed.

 

She couldn’t hear anything but the burning noise atop her throat, the way each heave slowly became more and more futile to her.

 

All she wanted was to get up, but with each malignant scream, each deafening word uttered by the person above her, each reminder that she was completely and utterly useless all came back to crush her, until her bones slammed into her, and her body lulled itself to a slow, uncomfortable-

 

“-My knight!”

 

Shiho felt warm hands pull her up, dazed eyes caressing her figure as Shiho uncovered the voice in front of her.

 

“Ichika.” Shiho’s eyes barely could register the person who held her, but she could feel Ichika. She was awake. She was here.

 

She…

 

Shiho collapsed underneath her own weight, her head heavy, her body falling underneath the stress.

 

She heaved a final breath, knowing well that her brain would forfeit.

 

“Ich…” she whispered, her voice clambering together, before her eyes distanced themselves from sight, and her body numbed everything out.

 

Notes:

I’m curious if anyone’s actually noticed the pattern of Shiho’s hallucinations, because I sure as hell know they’re not gonna

FUCK I FORGOT TO POST THIS AND JUST WENT TO BED WHAT AM I DOING😭😭

Chapter 110

Notes:

You know this was supposed to be a split pov but I already have a better idea. My ass is merging two arcs together like duct tape is my life purpose

Ichika awoke.

 

Rattling wind from a coming storm fell from the reigning skies, coiling against a pattern of cityscape and terrain.

 

But some storm wasn’t the sight that Ichika was drawn to this time.

 

It was Shiho, her arms cradling her body, her eyes loose and lost. Grey hair, befuddled and rattled, hiding behind a face overrun by a horrific sight that never truly was.

 

She’s going through a hallucination, Ichika realised, the ward, while dim, still illuminating the silhouette.

 

“-My knight!” Ichika shouted, practically ripping herself out of her bed, grabbing hold onto the one she loved. A reunion drenched in torment, born to mend.

 

Shiho’s eyes fixated, even if it was just a moment, the emerald encasing the azure.

 

“Ichika,” Shiho mumbled, her gaze caught upon the life before her, a comforting whisper, met with the raw, dry tone of her own voice. Ichika cradled Shiho, noticing the knight shift her body weight, her eyes barely able to bat.

 

An exhaustion like none other, encasing Shiho and Shiho alone. Ichika could only ever wonder what had happened while she had been away.

 

“Shiho, I’m here,” Words tumbled out of Ichika’s mouth. “A-are the hallucinations gone?”

 

No reply fell upon the ears of the mage.

 

“She’s exhausted,” Ichika muttered out loud, still keeping her knight interlocked with her own hands.

 

“Ich…” Shiho tried to rasp, a voice so deep that it fell whimpering and crude, before the feathers drifted from one’s sanctity and Shiho’s mind collapsed with somnambulism.

 

Ichika pulled Shiho’s body up, her arms holding insurmountable strength – strength she never had before she awakened. In all honesty, she was barely able to keep up with it.

 

The mage paced back to the cot, slowly lowering her knight onto the mattress, hoping her hallucinations wouldn’t consume her.

 

“-Ichika.”

 

The mage whisked her head back around to the person who was also in the room, her eyes wide.

 

“Wh… who are you…?” A whisper left Ichika’s reaction, her eyes awry, her figure slowly aching backwards to the sight of another.

 

The strange person held short, chestnut-entwined hair, a clipboard, and robes that fell to her ankles. She held herself in firm esteem, if a tad startled, her honeyed gaze unwavering.

 

“Nanamin. Top healer in the alliance.” Nanamin explained, her own tone concluding with a sigh of relief. “I’ve been… tending to your status for as long as you’ve been in that coma.”

 

The doctor stepped forward, but didn’t present herself as overconfident or studious. She seemed… friendly, despite her simply being on duty.

 

“I’m sorry if this is me prying, but… how did you even manage to… do any of what you did?” Nanamin asked. “The awakening, the un-awakening of Shiraishi, and just… surviving all of this. How?”

 

Ichika let in air in her lungs, her hands stationed to her sides. She had so much to say, but would this doctor think she was crazy? Would she judge Ichika?

 

“…Promise that you won’t view me differently,” Ichika prefaced, keeping her eyes locked on the doctor. “Or tell anyone about it.”

 

“…Of course,” Nanamin nodded. “In fact, I’m not obligated to share anything with the alliance at all. Even if you were to murder someone, I have no reason to tell.”

 

“…” Ichika’s eyes followed the star indent given to her by the creator, brandished by a physical mark hidden in the white silver. …Was she really going to tell someone? Was it worth it?

 

A decision only Ichika could harness, one left up to a consciousness she ruled over.

 

I… trust her.

 

“My affinity is the creator.” Ichika explained, looking down at the floor to avoid the questions that would come her way.

 

“…Huh. My theory was correct.” Nanamin hummed. “The soulDust in your system is one of the biggest giveaways. You cannot get any form of soulDust poisoning, you know.”

 

“I what?” Ichika blinked, unaware of the outcome before her. “You’re not… surprised? Confused? You don’t think I’m crazy?”

 

“I’ve seen weirder things in my life.” Nanamin shrugged. “When you work with the Kusunagi family and the Otoris, you’ll learn that ‘crazy’ isn’t just about the gods.”

 

Ichika didn’t respond, her mere curiosities filling in for her confusion.

 

Before she could even utter her queries, Nanamin perked up once again. “Also, when you were in that coma, you were in a different plane, right?”

 

“How did you figure this out?” Ichika whispered beneath her breath.

 

“Your brain processed movement that wasn’t active, and whenever people are possessed, or interacting with their affinities in the cross-bridge, they go into this state.”

 

“-I can only assume that this affinity you spoke to was Miku,” Nanamin continued, grabbing a piece of paper off of her desk, “since your soulDust isn’t actually the same consistency. It’s made off of another thing entirely, which is oddly coloured like the creator.”

 

Nanamin handed over a small sheet, her eyes glued to her clipboard. “Here’s a couple notes I took. Not that you’ll need them, but I still think you’d like them.”

 

Before Ichika could say anything, the doctor left the room with haste, her hands toiling the small clipboard, her coat trailing behind her, leaving a slight breeze with her exit.

 

Ichika looked down at the notes, but her eyes could barely focus, and her head only continued to spin. She wanted to heave out a sigh of relief, but every time she turned around, she was greeted with the silence of her absence.

 

An.

 

Ichika shoved the paper to the side, her legs pacing as she ran through Nanamin’s office.

 

“E-Excuse me, Nanamin,” Ichika began, her voice booming through the echoed office. “An, have you-”

 

“…Me?”

 

Ichika felt her hand jolt, her heart a palpable thing, jostling in the cage of her body.

 

Like the heart she ripped out of Saki-

 

Like when she MURDERED SOMEONE-

 

Ichika paced back, her breath hitching. She couldn’t speak, words barely escaping from the mind she enslaved.

 

An had noticeable scars. Scars Ichika painted from the bruises and cuts, all the while An sat down against one of the benches, just looking up at the azure mage.

 

“You look stressed, Ichi-”

 

“I’m so sorry…!” Ichika professed, stumbling forwards. “I-I never meant to hurt you, I’m not a murderer…!”

 

“-Huh?” An got up from the bench, wandering closer to the mage. “Is that… what you’re worried about?”

 

“But I tried to kill you. I’ve tried to hurt so many people, but… but I…”

 

Ichika’s hand curled in on itself, her hair covering her weeping.

 

“You know, you’re so… good, it makes me sick.” An hummed, her tone barely able to rasp if it were a compliment or insult. “How about you go announce your existence to Queen, or someone?”

 

Ichika turned back around, opting not to think too hard on An’s words.

 

She was… no murderer.

 

But the blood would still stick to her skin.

I’m… no good. Then why, why do I believe your words, An?

 

Ichika knew that silence would be the answer she was given, despite the breathless echoes the wind had whispered.

 

Amongst the gravity, would she allow her wings to fall upon the grace? Would her soul be stolen, ripped to shreds all because of her inadequacy?

 

Ichika knew that her questions Wouldn’t be answered.

 

She just had to keep moving. For everyone.

Notes:

You may be wondering why Ichika just suddenly woke up. That’s because Miku realised that Ichika’s body was ready and gave her zero notice.

Kind of like my friends calling me

Chapter 111

Notes:

I’m actually so sorry this took forever, I really shouldn’t have scheduled one of my fic releases on my birthday and had like no time to mentally prepare lmao

Sharp winds glowered from the temperature of the summer, with Kohane barely used to the sudden shift of weather. She still remained on equal footing, but hiding behind the wreckage of one of the towns wasn’t something she found herself doing in most cases.

 

He’s here. Kohane noted, her eyes taking in the sight before her.

 

The dusk bit onto her figure, leading her eyes to illuminate as the sole sight to navigate.

 

 Kohane hadn’t been ordered here, but her plans still remained the same. To change the tides of the Tenma-Shinonomian war into an outright massacre.

 

She wasn’t allied with the dark mages -  An was. Kohane could finally slip away from that place.

 

Her hands pooled into fists, metallic and slippery, her eyes taking in the grandeur of her opportunity.

 

“…Get away from me.”

 

Kohane wouldn’t say she was stealthy, but to hear the tone of someone notice her was far from something she was used to.

 

“That’s no way to greet an old friend,” The mage hummed, steeling herself by freeing her figure from skulking.

 

Of all the places for her to land, at the doorstep of a Shinonome was not what she’d ever think.

 

“I said, screw off.” Akito spat back, his sword holstered to his waist, all the while the olive reflected such woe. “You and- and whatever the fuck your little friend is, are the people who killed him. Why the hell would I-”

 

“-My ‘friend’ is dead.”

 

Alone, resting against one of the Tenma barriers. A forest, clean of the stench of royalty. Why did Akito, of all people, leave his hands to grip hold of his own weapon?

 

The ginger’s lantern flickered, his breaths slow, yet nimble.

 

“I don’t give a shit.”

 

Kohane frowned, an unappealing gesture for someone such as her. The scent of lime coaxed her nose, a fragrant pungency that left her almost overwhelmed.

 

Thick leaves continued to trail, but she no longer cared for the sights of the wilderness.

 

“Why are you here, then, mister Shinonome?” Kohane asked, trying to force a smirk, but her guilt continued to bury her.

 

Does he… remember me?

 

“And why would I tell you that, you monster?”

 

Kohane recoiled at the word rasped against the ginger’s tongue.

 

“Because, I have info on the one you want back so badly.”

 

A lie. Kohane had no clue what person that Akito wanted back. Hell, she didn’t even care. But if she had any way to get what she wanted, it was through him.

 

Akito seemed to bite the bait.

 

He took no chances, raising his sword to kohane’s neck sporadically. His eyes were crazed, longing and begging for an answer Kohane could never provide.

 

A weak show of mortality.

 

 “T-tell me… tell me, where is he!”

 

A sharp clatter of steel fell as Kohane ripped apart Akito’s sword. She was lucky the metal wasn’t rare, like Shiho’s.

 

“Then you tell me why you’re here,” Kohane bargained.

 

“Fuck,” Akito muttered beneath his breath, his lantern almost tipping from the sharp movement.

 

“I’m here to find Tsukasa.”

 

Oh. That’s who he’s looking for.

 

“What did I expect,” Kohane slowly walked her way around Akito, tracking him like prey. “You’d be surprised how awful they are treating him.”

 

“Oh, don’t give me this shit, monster.” Akito hissed, ripping his sword at Kohane once more. “I know you’ve trapped him.”

 

“Me? Oh, no, of course not,” Kohane spun back around. “The alliance stole him from Tenma.”

 

You in the alliance… will pay for killing An.

 

“-Liar,” Akito huffed. “You- you think that those people would ever do that?”

 

“-You ever wonder why so many people are leaving Tenma for the alliance?” Kohane retorted. “Because their king is hostage, hiding in a cell. And all of you… were none the wiser.”

 

Kohane let out a boisterous giggle, the shock ever so clear on the ginger.

 

He may not remember me, but… maybe that’s for the better.

 

I have nothing left to lose from this.

 

“-We both know that you’d never wage war on your own turf, after all. Seeing your sister try and-”

 

“-Who are you?!” Akito shrieked, attempting to stab Kohane, leaving him dangerously easy to murder with a simple flick of the mage’s wrist.

 

Kohane smirked, her shadow holstering itself over Akito. The ginger let his sword rest on Kohane’s neck, ready to cut her open, but alongside the fury was the stench of fear.

 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, A-”

 

No.

 

Kohane staggered, her mouth clamped shut, her hands shaking with the metal that bound her to the whims of gravity.

 

Akito’s gaze twitched, his own rage faltering.

 

“…I suppose I got caught up,” Kohane mumbled, trying to smirk, but she couldn’t bring herself to.

 

I will never stoop that low.

 

“Huh, so- so you’re trying to act moral now, you fucking freak!” Akito almost slammed his blade into Kohane, but the metal got caught on the mage’s fingertips.

 

“I wouldn’t shoot the messenger,” Kohane recoiled, flicking the metal towards the soldier, almost cutting open his face if it weren’t for his own grip.

 

Akito’s eyes jittered, his breath caught on Kohane’s words.

 

“-You ever wonder what happened with that beacon, Akito?”

 

Kohane had all the odds lined up. She could finally avenge An, simply from stirring Akito to the Alliance.

 

And maybe… she could manipulate Shinonome as well.

 

Akito pulled his sword to his side, his eyes wide. Contemplation fell upon his brow, his breath jagged.

 

He didn’t say a word, but the silence told Kohane everything.

 

Those fuckers… will pay.

 

…Kohane shared the sentiment.

Notes:

I felt so smart writing this

Chapter 112

Notes:

Long time no chapter, huh? Kinda crazy now that i think about it. Second last year of school soon to start and i still need to figure my stuff out. Luckily, I will have infinite time to write on my summer break (Cue the "you're Australian?") So I promise y'all that more chapters will, in fact, come out.

 Would life ever go back to normal?

 

This was the question Saki would lay awake at night thinking.

 

Ever since the day she awakened, since she had taken Rin’ hand, she had lost the battle.

 

The battle between herself, and the path she had to take.

 

All emotion, all feeling… those now belonged to Rin. Rin held her own will against Saki, and despite her own ambition, she could never truly have it back.

 

She was… fading. Dying. Losing herself, just as she knew it.

 

Her soul was bound to someone who would swallow her whole.

 

Traversing the terrain of Imperia was the least of her worries, with Honami leading her forward with haste.

 

Dwindling linen fell upon soil, Honami’s eyes dragged upwards towards the sterling sun.

 

Dawn had fallen upon the world, and the two had only yet to make the trek to Shinonome. Saki reached out for Honami’s hand, but she recoiled.

 

I can’t tell her I don’t have much time left.

 

I can’t…

 

“Saki?” Honami’s gaze followed to the side of her highness. “Is something wrong?”

 

“Ah, don’t… worry,” Saki grinned. “I’m alright. Just gotta get used to this new body some more, yeah,”

 

Another excuse. Saki let reality linger, even if it wasn’t the choice she wanted to make.

 

Honami was the first ever to learn of Rin’s existence, of the other half, of the soul she was bound to watch override her own life to manifest the future that was foretold.

 

“M-my Queen,” Rustled the voice of an odd entity, one that approached Saki with both hesitation and loyalty.

 

“Commander Akito? Did you come all the way here just to speak to me?” Saki hummed, her heeled claws tapping forwards, her horns illuminating in the dew of dawn.

 

“I…” The ginger began, his gloved fingertips holding onto a sword – one warped and disoriented, practically melting beneath the sheath.

 

“The alliance is holding Tsukasa hostage.”

 

Honami was the first to respond, stepping forward, her brow, while confused, still trying to hold onto some form of merit.

 

“Why…?” Saki questioned. She wouldn’t scorn such a high official for a statement. After all, she too understood his and Tsukasa’s relationship.

 

Not that her parents would approve of it, but she still knew how much Akito was prone to misinformation.

 

“-I suppose that could be my fault.”

 

Beneath the shade of one of the oak, peered a unique figure, one doused in a strange metallic substance and cruel, inked irises. “My goddess Rin, I simply wish to… enlighten you.”

 

Saki stepped back, awaiting Rin’s consciousness to swap in. She knew this was no conversation she was needed in.

 

“-Don’t speak of me like that.” Were the first words Rin uttered, her eyes narrow, her hands, while inactive, still firm. “Azusawa Kohane.”

 

“-Kohane?” Akito muttered beneath his breath, his eyes slowly loitering the sight of the awakened mage, the brutal dystopian mechanism, the inhuman creature.

 

 

“I-I mean no harm,” Kohane trembled, attempting to bow.

 

“Sure you do.” Rin arched her heel, her stature far greater than that of Kohane’s. An illuminous deity, compared to a puny metallic phony.

 

“That beacon, it was of Tsukasa. A-and surely you’d want to find him, since your host-”

 

“Get out of my sight, you hear?” Rin spat. “Don’t ever refer to Saki as a host, don’t mutter lies you already know I can disprove, and don’t feed into the grief of one of my subjects.”

 

Kohane, while being undeniably resigned, allowed herself a sly, manipulative smirk.

 

“…Miku is in the alliance.”

 

What?! Saki practically shouted at Rin. That means we’re targeting the wrong direction, and-

 

“Prove it.” Rin dismantled both Saki’s rambles and Kohane’s whispers.

 

Kohane was left speechless, her own harrowed grunts being the only words she murmured.

 

And when Kohane couldn’t prove her claims, Kohane simply turned her back, fleeing amongst the beaten path.

 

“…Kohane.” Akito repeated, his own expression an unreadable mess. “She… used to be…”

 

“You knew her?” Honami asked, while still on her guard. “A-and Rin, thank you.”

 

“Don’t flatter me,” Rin hummed, but she still took pride in the compliment. “I should probably let Saki switch in, but if anything gets dicey, I’ll be there.”

 

Saki felt her eyes regain consciousness, no longer blurred between a sense of dissociation. She looked at Honami, then, back at… Akito.

 

“Hey, Akito…” Saki began, offering out her hand. “Is everything-”

 

The olive gaze twisted upwards, with Akito biting back his fear. He looked pale – unbearably pale, as if his own world had collapsed.

 

“I’m heading back.” Akito uttered, but his voice was hollow. “You two go.”

 

Saki knew she couldn’t press him. After all, seeing someone you knew become someone she didn’t… well, Saki had an experience like it as well.

 

In the end, she knew the path she had to take.

 

And time was… running out.

Notes:

I was gonna out Akito in this chapter and have him pull a Mizuki and then realise that I don't want to write that after getting outed recently LMAO

Chapter 113

Notes:

I call this the worlds shortest chapter because Ena5 T500 has beaten the ever living shit out of me

Off topic but if you play R1999 RUBUSKAS OUT OH MY GOODNESS I ADORE HER SO MUCH MY BELOVED TRANS ALLEGORY HUNGARIAN VAMPIRE

 

Shiho’s eyes were forced open by the sound of rain pattering against her ears, rummaging between the panicked heaves she had uttered. This wasn’t her bed. None of this looked familiar at all.

 

The knight sat up, eyes peeled from the window, her body lugging over. She noticed papers, papers littered with notes and diagnoses, papers dictating that this place-

 

She was sleeping in the infirmary.

 

That means that…!

 

“Where’s Ichika.” Shiho shouted, her knuckles flexing inwards, a gaze she wished to uphold slowly sundering to the sudden realisation that no one heard her words.

 

Shiho stepped forward, straying from the bedside, her legs picking up the pace as she clambered out the door.

 

“Ichika, where-”

 

Shiho felt someone slam into her, but it wasn’t some enemy or foe. Instead, gentle hands toiled against the fabric of her uniform, cradling her stature, allowing her to bury her head into the crook of the person’s neck.

 

Oh, she knew who it was. Silver adorned arm, hair caught between mess and order, and a voice that tangled between Shiho’s.

 

“You’re here… you’re here…!” Shiho repeated, her voice unable to cling, to hold together. Before her was her own, the one she wished to vow her life to.

 

“I’ve heard you missed me,” Ichika smiled. “That you’ve wanted to see me, that you’ve visited me…”

 

Ichika’s voice came to a slow, strange halt. Her words were usually quite tangential, but this time, she calculated each syllable until the sentence was strung.

 

“Miku allowed me to live, and… I met Miu.”

 

Shiho trembled.

 

“Wh… what did she say?” Shiho asked. She knew the answer would be futile, as it would’ve been a short convers-

 

“Many things,” Ichika avoided, lest the answer be too long for her to say. “But… I can see that she cared so much for you.”

 

Shiho didn’t speak. There were no words for her left to say.

 

She couldn’t let go of Miu. She knew that’d be hopeless. But to hear from Ichika, even if she never knew what was exchanged, did it really act as the final form of closure for her?

 

Could she move on, even if the sight would burn into her shadow?

 

Shiho slowly let go of Ichika, allowing a smile to creep up against her face.

 

“A… lot of things happened while you were gone.” Shiho hummed, her eyes gazing out onto the horizon.

 

“I know.” Ichika nodded. “But I still remember, you said you’d tell me something after the battle,”

 

Right.

 

I… have to tell her.

 

“Hypocrite.” Spat Miu. “You’re horrid, being the blame for her own misery, Shiho.”

 

Shiho took in a breath, silencing the voice between her own psychosis. She twisted back around to Ichika, holding her heart heavy, letting the moment simmer.

 

“I killed Rui.”

Notes:

Have y'all noticed how omori coded this chapter's final line is or am i simply too good at hooking people in (people being me because these cliffhangers have me giggling like a child)

Chapter 114

Notes:

I am actually so sorry for the wait, I blame my poor time management skills

 

Ichika stood at a standstill at Shiho’s words.

 

Her eyes fluttered, her gaze morphed, her lips pursed. She didn’t know how to process this.

 

She… killed Rui.

 

That in itself was the truth, and Ichika couldn’t deny nor rebuke it.

 

But why did it take so long for her to tell me?

 

Shiho noticed the silence, as if her own mind knew the outcome.

 

“I’m so sorry.” A meek, silent hum followed. “All of this is my fault, and I…!”

 

“…What?” Ichika frowned, cupping her knight’s hands. “No, it wouldn’t be your fault,” she shook her head.

 

“But Saki only threatened you because Rui was dead,” Shiho answered, her face filled with dismay, dejected and isolated.

 

“And what do you have to do with it?” Ichika questioned softly. “Saki would’ve done that anyways, no matter the cause. She’d just… say that I was disloyal, or made up another… excuse,”

 

She’d make me leave. That’s what she wanted.

 

Ichika rested her hand against her cheekbone, as if anticipating a slap, or a tear to roll down. Her legs shuffled forwards, then back to where she once stood.

 

If Ichika was who she once was, she’d have cried her eyes out, left to be comforted by Shiho, or anyone else. But instead, she smiled through the reality, knowing that she now no longer had to suffer through this.

 

“Yes, you may have… killed him,” Ichika looked out, through the window approaching the opposite of the room. “But that doesn’t- no, it’d never hurt me like what you’d think it’d be.”

 

“But…” Shiho always would scowl in disbelief, no matter the situation. Because she never would expect anyone to give her the grace she deserved unless Shiho proved herself.

 

But Ichika could never turn on Shiho, or be hurt by Shiho’s choices. Because there was always a reason to it, a choice that Ichika knew was the right thing to do, even if everyone else saw otherwise.

 

“Shiho, you know that I’d trust you no matter what,” Ichika reminded her.

 

Ichika gave her girlfriend a peck on the cheek, before turning to the hallway.

 

“I-Ichika-” Shiho began, but her voice was halted by the sudden turn of Ichika pulling her through the doorframe and right into the meeting room.

 

“-Took you long enough.” Nene huffed, rolling her eyes on her corner of the table.

 

“We have the time.” Shizuku rebutted. “And also, we have to fill the high mage in on what has been happening.”

 

Shizuku gave Ichika a warm smile, but her eyes loomed, lost beneath a haze that could only be understood by Shizuku and Shizuku alone.

 

“As expected, or rather, as I expected,” Shizuku began. “Honami, Saki’s retainer and captain of the militia, has reached Tenma, thanks to Minori’s intel. She had apparently gone missing for over two months.”

 

“I got here as quick as I could,” Minori nodded. “I’m sorry that Honami tried stealing that locket you gave me,”

 

“Why was she with you, alone?” Ichika wondered.

 

“I don’t know,” Minori uttered wearily. “I just… saw her there, a-and then she tried stealing the locket,”

 

Worry spread across Minori’s face, her lips pursed.

 

“It’s alright,” Haruka reminded Minori, as if to comfort the hazelnut-haired adventurer.

 

“As for the dark mages, they’ve been tasked with a war fleet set to head wherever is necessary, led by an awakened mage.” Shizuku continued, her gaze following An.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t say ‘tasked’. Knowing Kohane, she’s probably plotting her own stuff.” An answered.

 

“It is a bit tricky for us, but I don’t think that she’d show up here without thinking it through. It’ll buy us time.”

 

“And what about Shinonome?” Ichika recalled, doing the mental math to see only one thing left.

 

“Nothing. Not a letter, not a notice, not even locals know.” Shizuku’s gaze fell against the map spread across the table, casting shadows across the parchment.

 

Ichika knew that Shizuku was worried. It was following her like a demon on her shoulder, grabbing hold of her and forcing her to face everything she never wanted to.

 

And yet, despite Ichika having woken up, not a single soul had asked about what she had seen. To her, it seemed normal, but in reality, it wasn’t at all.

 

“What is our next move?” Shiho asked, looking towards her sister, the guiding Queen of the alliance.

 

“We prepare. Unless this war forces us to take action, we should stay out of it as much as possible.”

 

Despite the surety in Shizuku’s voice, Ichika didn’t seem to believe it.

 

All she could do was watch and wait, until time passed on, and all that was left was her own decisions to make.

Notes:

I spent a solid 30 minutes rereading to see if Ichika or Shiho knew that Honami was in Shinonome and hadn’t come across anything, so I hope that when Minori lied that I was correct in my cross-referencing (however I know that therealkusunagiena probably knows the answer and will tell me if I did get it wrong, which by the way, you’re quite literally the biggest lifesaver ever when it comes to this fic and me forgetting things)

Chapter 115

Notes:

I call this: spontaneous realisation that I can write a better narrative than what I have going on

 

Fresh leaves blemished the skies, snow sunken into small reeds, crowds of people littering against the white cobblestone.

 

An felt dazed looking through the balcony, her hand pressed up against the guardrail of Shizuku’s office. Sunlight rained down against her, gentle as it pelleted through what used to be horrific claws now turned back to skin.

 

“Is everything alright, Shiraishi?” Shizuku hummed, stepping forward to greet her protégé.

 

“Yeah, I’m all good, just…” An’s eyes followed upwards, out against the soft cyan skies, littered with stars. It didn’t matter what time of day it was, stars would always be seen from above.

 

“It’s so strange, the surface. Everything’s so bright and colourful,” An frowned, “it’s not like I haven’t been here before, but for such a long period of time…”

 

Shizuku, as graceful and caring as ever, placed a hand on An’s shoulders. “I’m glad that you like it.”

 

Despite the fact that An knew Shizuku loved her, it didn’t seem overbearing or even overwhelming. Shizuku still had this kindness towards An, a form of care that An had never really thought she’d ever get in her life.

 

“Oh! I came here to give you your new uniform,” Shizuku stepped out of the room, bringing in a garment.

 

“For me?” An huffed. “Y-you… made this for me?”

 

An looked at the garment. A full-body piece striking long white pants, a midsection layered between the waist and the torso, a gloved arm piece, and a unique, tailored coat with white silver as the embellishments.

 

“The dark mages never did anything like this for me, even after the deal,” An recalled, hugging the fabric.

 

“The… deal?” Shizuku prompted, even if she hesitated to mention it.

 

Right. That deal, that stupid contract that bound me to that labyrinth.

 

“…I guess I’ll have to start from the beginning if I tell you,” An realised, her voice slow, but considerate.

 

Shizuku looked at An with intent, a soft, knowing gaze.

 

“I was sold to the dark mages, back when I lived in Tenma. Thrown in a bag and chucked to a small sub-sector of mages, suspected of having a malicious affinity.” An sighed through her nose.

 

“In reality, I didn’t have any affinity at all, and since I was orphaned, there wasn’t much I could do. They planned to just throw me out onto the wild and keep the cash. I fought, yelling at them, protesting and screaming, but I wasn’t much use to them.”

 

An smiled, if bittersweetly. She knew her next words like the back of her hand.

 

“Then… Nagi found me. An awakened mage, who took me in, and threatened the mages to tell the high officials that I was thrown out. Pfft, I remember that stupid grin she gave me when they scurried off…”

 

I miss her.

 

“…She, uh, pretty much trained me, an affinity-less person, and did an affinity split on me. A ritual where she… gave me a half of her affinity, which eventually managed to gain the ability to awaken in me.”

 

An felt her heart heave.

 

“The high council found me, hiding in Nagi’s quarters, and forced her to confront the damage she had done to both herself and all other mages. Apparently, the young heir, Takagi Miu, found out how to do the affinity split, something that only Nagi had knowledge of. …She argued with them, telling them that I had nothing to do with it, and one wrong move left her dead.”

 

An shivered, looking down at her hands. “I… remember how they told me how she’d die.” She whispered. “A dagger through the throat, where her pleas and cries would be silenced for harming the heir.”

 

“They were planning of disposing me a second time, but one of them noticed that I had a synthetic affinity that could actually awaken.”

 

“And that… is when they offered the deal.” An paused, shutting her eyes. “To live inside the labyrinth, where these dark mages could control my every move. And… that meant becoming a monster, to protect our one last gambit: Saki.”

 

“Weren’t you a dark mage, though?” Shizuku hummed.

 

“Right, forgot about that…” An realised, clearing her throat.

 

“Awakened mages are separate to the main mages, since they can randomly become violent due to affinities taking over. Any other mage in the labyrinth that they take in, though, is a dark mage, except me, since my existence was never brought up to any of them.”

 

“It’s… strange. All I want is to go back, because some part of me owes everything to them. Everyone there is suffering just as much as I did, because they were outcasted or believed to be a monster.”

 

I hate that I want to go back to them, even though I am of no use.

 

Because… they are my home.

 

Shizuku didn’t say any words, simply indulging in the silence.

 

“…What do you think of the dark mages,” An prompted, looking back at Shizuku. “Surely you have an opinion, Queen.”

 

“Well, I… I lost Shiho to them. I cannot reason with people who kidnap people just to join their cause.”

 

“But what if it was to protect her from being killed for her affinity?” An rebutted. “You of all people should know how society reacts to people with violent tendencies.”

 

“I didn’t know who or what they were,” Shizuku admitted. “For years, for as long as I’ve been living, they didn’t even have a name. Just stealing people from their homes randomly was all I knew of them.”

 

In the beginning, it was. They all lost their shit when Miu died, though.

 

“The war was probably an insane occurrence for you, then.” An hummed. “Seeing a ton of random mages at your door, barging for a young child that you didn’t even know.”

 

An let out a sigh, looking back at the woman before her.

 

A face, buried in all the answers, yet unable to explain any. There was no rhyme or reason for Shizuku to hide, and yet, she still buried herself in insurmountable worry.

 

“S-sorry, that was insensitive.” An hummed. “All you came for was to give me this uniform, and here I am…”

 

“Never apologise for speaking your mind, An.” Shizuku reached for An’s hand, but didn’t quite hold it, simply letting it sit atop where An’s was.

 

“…Thank you, really. I hope the uniform suits you.”

 

…

 

An laid awake, tossing in her futon placed inside Shizuku’s office. She couldn’t rest, but she felt unbearably groggy, her face contorted with dark circles underneath her eyes and a mess of hair to top it all off.

 

Behind her lingering rest was a question that plagued her ever since her conversation with Shizuku: was she to blame for the reputation of the dark mages?

 

She knew it was stupid to dwell on it. She was going to be murdering fellow companions and comrades whenever the question propped up, and An knew that wondering about life underneath the surface was outright useless.

 

I didn’t know who or what they were. Just stealing people from their homes randomly was all I knew of them.

 

Those were Shizuku’s words – the way dark mages were perceived by the public. An wondered if Tenma was just launching their war on Shinonome because they thought that dark mages came from there.

 

All An knew was that dark mages were things everyone knew but dared not to say, that people were afraid of all of them, afraid of what they were. That everyone saw them as monsters.

 

But to An, they weren’t. They were protectors, people who hid those from the outside, who had been dealt a horrid hand and sheltering them. That’s why An’s existence got Nagi in trouble, as an outsider, a person who disrupted the safe-haven.

 

And that’s why she followed them as well. Why did people not see it that way?

 

An fed into it, as well. She told Toya that she was kidnapped, that they kidnapped people, because that was all she knew that he believed.

 

It wasn’t like An was someone who was truthful every step of the way. She lied on impulse to appease the danger in front of her. She herself was afraid of who she was, and everything around her.

 

Oh, she hated her hypocrisy. She hated how she flipped between hating her home and adoring it.

 

But the one thing for sure that she knew, was that she wouldn’t be welcomed back.

 

No matter how many tries she’d hope for, she provided no use. She was just there, a strange entity just existing to them, estranged from her purpose.

 

If it weren’t for the war, for Miu’s existence… would this home become a utopia?

 

Would it ever be considered a place to truly be its own land?

 

An got up from her futon, done with these mindless thoughts of what could have been.

 

She needed to find something to do. Something to pick up, an idea that stuck to her.

 

And thus, her eyes drew themselves to the wall of Shizuku’s office, noticing the worthy distraction An needed.

 

A sword.

Notes:

For all who need context, I have realised I may have just put no thought into the ‘why’ behind the dark mages. I have thus given them a more adequate reason to exist rather than being villains for villainy’s sake.

Chapter 116

Notes:

I have literally nothing to say but this chapter was not planned. It somehow still works though!

Hands, clutching the edge of a tome, while the wind trailed from against the skies. The waking world, fallen deep into somnambulism, hidden away by the lapse of time itself.

 

It had been a long while since Ichika even managed to train. She didn’t know why – maybe it was the guilt she felt for putting everyone at risk. It probably was.

 

And yet, she didn’t want to train for some cause. Not today.

 

Her mind had awoken with the sounds of the one she once treasured, Saki, digging into her. Maybe it was witnessing Miu’s story that broke something in her. Maybe it was the realisation that An now had a place to stay.

 

Maybe it was something else entirely that sparked the thought.

 

But needlessly, Ichika was reflecting on the life she had lived.

 

It had been a year since she last parted ways with Saki, when the spring took place and littered the whole kingdom in flowers. When the alliance trekked through the domain and presented Ichika with the love of her life.

 

How long had she believed that murder was a valid form of defence? Was it all she ever knew? Was mercy a skill she never fathomed to learn?

 

If she was able to do it all over, would she ever hold a sword, knowing that the only throat she’d ever slit would be her own?

 

Ichika was always one to look back at the footsteps she had taken. Even holding onto Shiho’s old tome book, wearing the robes she now stole from Miu, hearing the reasons behind the calamity that was the dark war… why did all of the answers plague her?

 

With such knowledge, when she herself knew the truth, would it ever serve to leave her with a definitive villain to blame?

 

Right now, her arm was torn to the dark mages, the people who hurt Shiho, Miu, and An.

 

But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want the answers of who they were, or to participate in this strange war that Saki thought was just.

 

It always leads back to her, doesn’t it?

 

Ichika knew she’d never accept the fact that Saki was just as much a human as she was.

 

Saki was the reason behind her deep feelings of uselessness, a feeling she couldn’t ever change.

 

Saki hurt her. Made her believe she was nothing.

 

But Ichika had enough of killing. Of vengeance. Of thinking that, maybe, it was worth to hurt others.

 

The girl with the celestial affinity, with the power of the creator herself, now finally resigning this strange wish to fight for what she believed in.

 

But Ichika knew this was a lie.

 

She’d have to fight. To keep moving.

 

To see blood splatter against her hands once more.

 

Ichika twisted her face away. She didn’t want to subject herself to this horrid torment.

 

But as she stared back at the alliance, a figure made their way closer to her.

 

A knight, holding and brandishing a sword, slowly unveiling their hood.

 

“Ichika.” The knight hummed, stepping forward.

 

“An…?” Ichika scowled. “Wh-why are you holding a sword?”

 

The ex-mage only let out a scoff before arching the blade at Ichika, the reeds of grass swaying in the moonlit breeze.

 

“Care for a rematch, god-girl?”