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1. It was a rare off day. Archer and Lana had somehow managed to get a reservation at (of all places) the Russian Tea Room. His mother most likely wouldn't want him going there and possibly embarrassing her. Of course, that just made the afternoon all the more sweeter.
The couple were seated. Unfortunately they were seated near another couple with two kids.
"For God's sake, don't those kids have to be in school?" Archer thought. As the day went on, so did the kids. The instant that noisy family walked out the door, Archer shook his head.
"No kids for me," he whispered.
However it was loud enough that Lana heard it clearly. She didn't know if Archer meant for her to hear it. She ultimately decided to forget about his comment. If Lana was being honest with herself, she was agitated by those kids just as much as Archer.
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2. Ahhhh, weddings. The one place where singles and couples alike love to be. Lana, however, believed that her cousin's would actually be somewhat enjoyable. With her as a bridesmaid and Archer as her plus one, she was looking forward to dancing with her handsome and strong boyfriend. Lana, as it turned out, should have known better.
It wasn't bad enough that Archer all but passed out from wine and mixed drinks. There were certain guests under the age of 21 that (at least last she heard) weren't supposed to be invited. The bride had sat down and sighed deeply.
"Not that it's any my business but I was wondering...," Lana began.
"Why those brats are here?" The bride guessed.
"Your words," she replied.
"Long story short," her cousin said. "Certain people threatened not to come -"
"Phrasing!" Archer laughed. Lana shot him a look.
"- if they weren't invited," the bride finished.
'They' being the guests that were under 21.
"Reason number 500 why I don't want kids," Archer blurted out.
While the bride figured it was simply due to being drunk, Lana sadly knew otherwise. This was not the first, or.... tenth, time Archer said he didn't want kids.
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3. Brunch the next afternoon was surprisingly pleasant. That was until the same young wedding guests started to act up. By the end, dishes were broken, drinks had spilled and food was literally everywhere. "You wonder why I don't want kids," Archer commented. "No Archer," Lana snapped back. "I don't."
On the flight back to New York, Archer, for once, believed he owed Lana an explanation.
"Lana I don't - " he began. Lana stopped him.
"I saw what you did these last two days," she said. "I understand. You don't owe me -"
"I want to," he said. " I don't doubt that I would love my child, especially if you were his or her mother."
Archer has Lana's full attention at this point.
"I know that our child would be beautiful," he continued. Lana, for some reason, felt a 'but' was going to be in his next sentence.
"There are some people who shouldn't have kids, Lana, and I am including myself in that group. I just not father material."
Lana stared at him silently for what felt like an hour to Archer. He could see the hurt in her eyes.
"Archer, " she finally said, "it's okay."
Of course he didn't believe her. The two agents remained silent the rest of the way home.