Work Text:
" Can I protect our love when I have no more power? "
Sunoo didn't recall in his memory a time when they weren't seven; it had been so long that he himself didn't know where one began and the other ended. They were like one entity most of the time.
Humanity. It was something Sunoo couldn't remember anymore, if it had ever been a condition he lived in, a memory so distant it was no longer rooted in any part of his being. But the taste of that fleeting desire, that spark deep within, made him long so strongly that on days when he thought about it more deeply, he agonized in despair, wanting, yearning.
Desire. It had always been present deep in Sunoo's heart, in every pore and in his mind; it seemed to be the only thing that moved him in this dead body, this shell. The desire to find something that moved him, that made him believe it was worth being there, even though he wasn't truly alive anymore. He didn't have many options; he would either fall into a deep pit of despair or live his endless days trying to find something that would captivate him, that would ensnare him.
Sunoo didn't know when it had all started, when he had become a prisoner of his own feelings, as if he were destined to be trapped in a black hole. If asked if he regretted the decisions he had made, he would probably say yes, that he would change everything if he could go back, but it would be a lie. He wouldn't change anything, not a single touch, not a single kiss, or all the "I love yous" that were not reciprocated, or when his body was pressed, kissed against the rocks, or when he started to feel all this for him. He wouldn't change a thing, because it was sad but deliciously addictive, and in all this stupid existence, he had never found anything better, more exciting, that made him feel truly alive. It was sick, this feeling like sulfur permeating through every pore of his body.
If the boy could present all his extremities, all the people who had been by his side since Sunoo was Sunoo, he would start saying the following: There was Jay, the second oldest, his protective presence, smiles reserved only for a few occasions and a few people, but showing that someone was important to him in small details that you had to pay attention to. Next came Jake, the second oldest. If Jay reserved his smiles only for a few people, Jake was the opposite; he freely gave them to those around him, in front of him, showing his affection and easily becoming attached to people. He was someone with a hearty laugh, someone who was like a light in the middle of a dark alley. Then there was Sunghoon, one of the most enigmatic, layers of a man in one, hiding behind words he probably didn't want to say, but still said. His emotions were expressed through his eyes, and when he became attached to something, he went all the way, giving his all to those he considered his own. There was also Jungwon, gentle, calm, and centered. The one who balanced them, who kept the rope secure, who united all these different personalities as if they were one. Sunoo always thought that if he were more like Jungwon, he wouldn't be as messed up as he was. Then there was Ni-ki, the youngest, who always wanted to show maturity he often didn't possess, but his smiles for the silliest things, in the jokes, revealed the image of a boy, a boy who despite losing almost everything, was still there, covered by layers of time. Lastly, there was "him". Sunoo left him for last because even in all his many years of life, Sunoo wouldn't be able to unravel everything that this man was. Lee Heeseung, who hid behind a gentle smile, a calming pose, the oldest, always maintaining his image for the younger ones, but Kim knew, behind those big eyes, that passive smile, when no one else saw, Sunoo could feel through his bones the other piece that was Lee Heeseung. The one who lacked patience, who felt everything and did everything, who wanted the same from the other, who didn't accept half-measures, who wanted everything whole. With a secret smile, whispered words, and wandering hands, he swallowed Sunoo's entire being, everything he thought he was. Lee Heeseung was an enigma.
These days, Sunoo wanted to beat the older one's chest, roar like thunder that he had started all this, that he had made Sunoo this trembling mess, who felt his bones would disintegrate just by observing the older man and not being able to touch him, who felt his heart sink with every rejected glance, every distant touch. Sunoo would blame him, be petty, childish, but Sunoo knew it wasn't entirely Lee's fault, as if he had forced him to accept his advances. But the younger boy needed something to blame, to vent his anger.
Jay had always said to everyone that they seven were different, for this reason, they should never drift apart, always stay together, it was safer. Kim had always taken this literally, as if it were the first thing on his list of priorities.
He didn't know when it had started, when his and Heeseung's relationship had taken such a drastic turn, such an absurd change. Maybe it had started on the day he caught the older one looking at him with a suppressed look, as if he desired something but didn't have the courage to say, or on that other day when he felt Lee's cold fingers holding his hands under the dinner table, or on that day when he said that the younger boy's smile was one of his favorite things in the world. Sunoo didn't know, but if there was one thing he was sure of, it was that the two couldn't go back to the starting point anymore; what was done was done, and it gave him a feeling as painful as drowning in a furious ocean and not knowing how to swim. The only solution was to let his body drift, unsure if he would reach the shore alive or drown in the waves.
Fate.
It was dark, the candlelight did little to contain the darkness that filled the room. Under other circumstances, it might have been sad; maybe it was, but Sunoo couldn't find sadness now, not when all seven of them were huddled together, as if they could warm their chilled bones, soothe the cold that always ran through their bodies, which Kim knew was impossible.
"Do you think we'll ever be able to go outside, in the daylight? Or live in a place with more people nearby, that would be really cool, wouldn't it? A house with a garden, maybe one or two dogs," Jake pondered, more to himself than to the others present, while Ni-ki was curled up in his arms, eyes fixed on the candle flame.
It was an absurd idea, Sunoo thought at the moment; probably everyone thought the same, even Jake, but still, dreaming was the only thing left for them, nothing else, and the good thing about dreams was that they had no limits from the unreal to the real.
"Who knows... one day... we have plenty of time ahead of us, a lot, everything can happen, things can change," Jungwon said this time, his head resting on Jay's stomach, while the older one played with his uncut hair.
Even in the darkness, Jake's smile could be seen lighting up, as if it had made his day. For people like them, a small detail changed everything, made things better. It was at that moment, sitting on the cold wooden floor of that dusty house, that Kim felt a cold hand grab his own, making him startle in surprise. Looking to the side, he saw Lee staring at him intensely, the candlelight reflecting in his large eyes making the vision even more ethereal.
"Upstairs? I'll go first, after a few minutes, you follow me, I'll wait for you there," Lee whispered so quietly it seemed like a hallucination, getting up from his place and disappearing up the stairs of the house, making the younger one feel his heart leap in his chest, which was impossible.
From that point on, the conversations became meaningless sounds to him, as if his mind was fixed on Heeseung waiting for him upstairs, and honestly, it was. Rising and saying he would rest upstairs, ignoring Jay's analytical gaze completely, focusing on climbing the stairs and finding the older man.
The boy walked through the dark corridors, his steps light but making the old wood creak unpleasantly beneath his feet. He looked around for any presence, his eyes totally accustomed to the darkness, his ears attentive to any sound or noise around him.
But instincts would never match the speed at which he felt his arm being pulled, his body pressed with force against the wooden floor, while his protests were silenced by a pair of hungry lips, the same ones that Kim had become very accustomed to these days. Without further ado, Sunoo responded with the same intensity, wrapping his arms around the older man's neck and pulling him closer.
Seemingly in a hurry, and not wanting to waste any time, Lee was already greedily removing his white shirt from inside Kim's pants, his rough palm coming into contact with the soft skin of the younger man's belly, making the boy gasp in surprise against the taller man's mouth.
" Hy-ung...Heeseung hyung, too fast, I can't keep up... " Sunoo pleaded, eyes closed, trying to get away from or get the attention of the other boy who was too immersed in what he was doing.
It took a little tighter grip on Lee's shoulder for the taller boy to finally pay attention to Sunoo's face.
" What's wrong? What's the matter? You know we don't have much time alone until the others get back Sunoo ya, don't you? " Heeseung looked at the boy inquiringly, his eyes showing his total displeasure at being interrupted.
Sunoo felt the words die in his throat, his feelings being swallowed up by the bigger man's gaze, he didn't want to make Lee angry, or unhappy, he just wanted to have more time to enjoy the other's kisses, his hands slowing down on him, but he found himself staying silent and just nodding, letting himself be swallowed up again by the older man's demanding lips and his experienced hands on his body, and that night, once again, Kim found himself with a part of his soul being taken by Heeseung and himself getting lost somewhere he didn't know the name of.
🩸
It was a hot day outside, yet cold as always inside the house where they all lived. Sunoo was in the room he shared with Jungwon and Ni-ki, neither of whom were anywhere to be seen, nor Heeseung, whose mind Kim couldn't shake off 24/7.
The boy folded some clothes, the windows tightly shut with thick curtains that did little to block the faint rays of sunlight peeking through the worn fabric. Sometimes, he found himself sitting on his bed, just gazing at those glimmers of light for hours on end, yearning to run outside freely, among people.
Lost in his thoughts, the boy barely heard two knocks on the door followed by a calm "I'm coming in" from the well-spoken voice of his hyung, Jay, who entered casually and sat on Sunoo's bed, observing him with analytical eyes.
"Do you need something, Hyung?" Sunoo asked, already feeling a strange nervousness, trying not to meet the older boy's gaze as he folded the same clothes for the eighth time.
Jay sighed heavily and gently took Sunoo's hands, setting aside the clothes and making the boy sit next to him, never letting go of his fingers.
"You know very well what I want to talk to you about, Sunoo. I notice everything, I just don't always say it. And I also notice when you need help. Talk to your hyung, okay?" Jay stroked the clear-eyed boy's cheek, trying to comfort him.
"Hyung, I..." Before Sunoo could even begin to pour out all the things that troubled his days and nights, the door burst open hurriedly, this time without a request for permission or knocks. Lee Heeseung appeared with a pleasant expression, handsome as always, welcomed in that space as usual. But upon seeing the scene before him, Lee froze for a few seconds, his eyes darting from Sunoo and Jay to Park's hand on Sunoo's skin, a dark flash crossing his bright eyes, causing Sunoo, who knew all those layers, to withdraw from Jay's hand as if he had committed the worst crime in the world.
"Why are you here, Jay-ya? Did something happen?" The smile returned to Lee's face as he walked towards Sunoo's bed.
"Do I need a reason to visit the younger ones? I should ask you, Hyung, what are you doing here? And barging in without even knocking. I know you're older, but have a little decency!" Jay laughed, but the atmosphere was tense, making Sunoo want to flee out the door.
Lee just gave one of his customary smiles and murmured a brief apology.
Seeing the obvious discomfort of the younger boy, Jay stood up and lightly tapped Kim's head before stepping away.
"Aren't you coming, hyung?" Park asked, his analytical eyes on Lee.
Sunoo noticed Heeseung's Adam's apple bobbing, his hands clenching and unclenching in spasms, sensing the clear tension in the older boy.
"I have something to discuss with Sunoo-ya, I'll keep him company since Jay seems so needy." Lee's tone was sarcastic, making Park laugh softly before giving Lee a hard look and finally exiting through the door.
Once Jay left, the atmosphere seemed to grow immensely heavier. Sunoo felt tension in every bone, not daring to utter a single word, afraid of the repercussions it might trigger.
"Did you tell him? Did you tell him, Sunoo?" Kim finally heard Lee say, the tension evident in his voice, lacking its usual sweetness or honorific.
Sunoo shrank, fearful to look at the older boy standing there, fixing his gaze on any point that wasn't specific. Finally finding his voice, Sunoo replied, "No... No, Hyung, I would never dare."
"I see... well, it's not nice to cause awkwardness with others about our meetings, nothing they need to pay attention to, after all," Lee continued, his words feeling like two knives piercing not his body but his soul. It seemed Lee knew and wanted to say something that would deeply hurt the boy, achieving it with a frightening ease that startled Kim.
Biting his lips to stifle the urge to scream, Sunoo simply looked away from the older boy, not trusting himself and his ability to remain strong now.
Lee sighed resignedly, running his hands through his hair nervously as he looked at the tense figure of the boy avoiding his gaze. In these moments, he felt he ruined everything, but the venomous feeling that possessed him made him blind to the consequences of his words. He truly didn't know how to act, how to behave, feeling like he was on a raging boat where he would have to fight even harder to hold onto the sails.
"Later, come to my room, I'll be waiting. Come when everyone is asleep, don't forget, I'll be waiting," Lee repeated the same phrase several times. Sunoo wasn't sure if it was out of fear that he wouldn't come, which he doubted, or out of a desire for a late-night encounter, which he was more certain of than the former.
With that, Lee left without another word.
Contrary to what many thought, they were still asleep, or at least liked to think so. All of them claimed a meditative ability that provided a brief respite for their bodies that didn't need it, but none of them skipped this hour, perhaps to feel more human, less aberrant.
It was late already, Sunoo had spent the day agonizing over whether he would go to meet Lee or not; all his instincts screamed for him not to go. But as the predawn twilight fell, Sunoo found himself rising barefoot, observing Jungwon and Ni-ki peaceful in their beds, and an unsettling feeling larger than himself propelled him to climb the stairs and go to Lee's room.
The house they all lived in was a large abandoned house; Sunoo couldn't even remember how they ended up there, but there were many rooms, although not enough for some not to have to share. However, being older, Heeseung ended up with the main room on the other floor without sharing with anyone.
The boy with clear eyes made his way through the corridors, his limbs tense and heavy, as if telling him to choose dignity for once in his life and not go there.
Kim stopped in front of Lee's dark wooden door, fox-like eyes trying to bore holes through the wood.
He gave a light knock, which wasn't necessary because Sunoo knew Lee sensed his presence as soon as he stopped in that corridor, but a part of him still wished Lee wouldn't open that door.
Listening to footsteps with his super sharp ears, Kim found himself face to face with the older one, his shirt already thrown somewhere, displaying a firm chest and a belly composed of lean muscles.
The younger one felt trapped, hypnotized, the way Lee looked at Kim as if he were the only one that existed in that moment, his eyes becoming slightly red, shining alongside the dim candle lit on the table.
The waist of the younger one was pulled firmly, the long fingers easily grasping that narrow part, closing the door behind Kim, not wasting any more time to advance into the boy's mouth overwhelmingly, sucking on the younger one's tongue, pressing his already hard cock against Sunoo's thin pants seam, making the boy choke with the contact that made his head spin.
Everything was too fast, with no time to let the younger one's head absorb everything, his body prepare for everything. It's not known when, or how many minutes passed, Sunoo went from kissing Lee on the doorstep, to having the older one's member inside him, his naked body pressed against the sheets of the old bed, while moaning with immense pleasure, his nails carving into the larger one's skin, as he felt himself being split in half, Lee's cock tip hitting points that Kim didn't even know were possible.
The boy gripped Heeseung's milky thighs tightly, as if that would help him gain some control over himself, something he knew was not possible. The older one bit the other's pale neck, his vampire-like fangs digging deeply into Kim, while his hands groped the boy's soft, already worn-out and pleasure-laden thighs underneath him.
" Damn! I never get tired of this, how can you be so addictive? How can you be so addictive, Sunoo Ya? I could have my cock inside you forever, I would never get tired of it... "
It would be too embarrassing to say that Sunoo almost came with the older one's words, he reveled in the rare compliments that Heeseung only reserved when he was lost inside Kim, only in those moments.
" Look at me, I want you to look closely at who's inside you now. " Lee forcefully held Sunoo's left cheek, right where Jay had touched the boy earlier, but not with Park's softness, but with anger, harshness, his fingers digging into Kim's soft cheek, his eyes now clouded with a mix of anger, pleasure, desire, and possessiveness.
Something that few knew about Lee, not even Sunoo, was that the gentle Hyung, who was always willing to help everyone, be everyone's anchor, always put himself last in everyone's favor, was extremely competitive, he didn't like to lose anything, everything that was his, was his, and that's why he had such a firm grip on all the younger ones, especially Sunoo, Sunoo, he was different, he saw ugly layers, the worst of Heeseung and yet here he was, he didn't complain, he didn't run away, he didn't ask for anything he knew Lee couldn't give, and for Heeseung that was enough. Sunoo was like an angel to him, saving him from the darkness of his own heart, from his bloodthirsty nature, from the monster he was, even if it meant that the older man would have to be the monster on his threshold, but if it was him, Sunoo was fine with that.
Lee never stopped the relentless movements of his hips, still thrusting at Kim, even though the boy had come no telling how many times, now crying out in hypersensitivity. But Lee's eyes only saw red and gold, the red of Kim's tarnished skin and the gold of his tear-covered eyes beneath it, and that was the most ethereal vision Lee Heeseung had every time he fucked Sunoo, he would never tire of it, at that moment, he wished for it forever, to cling to it, to forget everything, even though he knew that for someone like him, wishing for something was even a sin.
🩸
After that fateful night in Heeseung's room, Sunoo felt everything change for the worse. If Lee had already given no crumbs of any kind of correspondence to Kim's expectations, after that night, it all worsened. They barely talked these days, exchanging few words. When Lee finally decided he wanted to sleep with Kim again, he would just pull the boy somewhere, whether in the bathroom, on the beach rocks at night in front of the house, or in his room, but without any extra words. Even the few compliments disappeared, making Kim believe that Lee still slept with him out of sheer pity, knowing the feelings he harbored, and this thought haunted the younger boy.
Kim remembers that night vividly; something about it sent invisible shivers down his cold body. There was something strange about the atmosphere. They all decided to gather by the beach at night and make a bonfire, something rare for them as they always avoided drawing attention. However, Ni-ki and Jake insisted on it, and late at night it was decided it would be safe since they lived far from everything and the beach in front of the house was deserted. But something unsettled Kim externally. Under different circumstances, he would have insisted everyone stay inside because he wasn't feeling well, but not to spoil Ni-ki and Jake's happiness, he decided to join them.
They gathered various pieces of wood from the old attic, and Heeseung, being the man who did absolutely everything, lit the fire. The bonfire slowly took shape and strength, bringing them all together around it. Ni-ki was next to Jay, who embraced Jungwon, who held onto his own legs, with Jake leaning against Heeseung, and soon after, Sunghoon with his arms around Kim, who wore only a thin white shirt, sitting in front of Lee, trying his best to look at the fire instead of the older man's face. Sunoo found himself wanting to be swallowed by that fire, to disappear like the smoke rising from the bonfire.
"Shall we swim? Let's go! We're already here, let's all swim!" Jake asked and affirmed simultaneously, with only Ni-ki agreeing with the tadpole idea.
"Have you gone crazy? The winds are strong; we might get blown out to sea," Sunghoon intervened.
"Don't be such a scaredy-cat, Hyung! I don't know if you remember, but we're not ordinary people... if you guys aren't going, Jake hyung and I will!" Ni-ki replied stubbornly, already getting up with Jake, the two heading towards the sea.
They all looked at each other incredulously as they watched the two boys head towards the sea, the winds growing stronger, causing Sunoo to shiver and feel a chill, not from the cold but from something ominous, something that didn't seem right.
Only ten minutes passed while Ni-ki and Jake adventured along the beach when the Australian boy came running back, breathless, eyes wide with terror, soaking wet, desperate, and hands trembling.
At that moment, Kim felt a pang in his heart, expecting the worst to come from Jake's lips.
"Ni-ki... he's gone, I don't see him anywhere. When I looked, he had disappeared. Please, we... we... we have to find Ni-ki!" Everyone looked in horror at Jake's trembling figure. Without a second's hesitation, Jay, the first, kicked off his slippers and ran straight into the sea, Jake almost automatically following him, the others also running in desperation after the two figures.
• Sunoo's POV
I found myself rooted, sand entering my eyes, a sudden wave of choking, my head going completely blank. When I finally looked out at the sea, a strangled sob escaped my lips; I saw nothing but immense darkness amidst the waves. Neither Jake, nor Ni-ki, Sunghoon, Jungwon, Jay, nor Heeseung... Heeseung!
I started repeating a mantra in my head, that this couldn't happen, it couldn't, and so I entered the sea, not caring if I was swallowed by the waves or if the salty water filled my lungs, choking me. I just wanted them, all of them, right by my side. That was my last thought before being overwhelmed by a feeling of overwhelming death, like a long time ago, and everything around me fell apart.
The slender boy's body floated as the waves carried and brought him, his white shirt completely soaked, clinging to his body, while his once-pale complexion turned now ashen, giving a morbid aspect to his handsome face.
Kim heard a dripping in his ears, a pressure in his chest, salty water filling his lungs until he finally regained some consciousness and body movements, expelling all that liquid from his throat, attempting to move at last. The dark-haired man looked around with frightened, red eyes—not because he was a vampire, but due to the anguish and tears escaping them. Gathering remnants of strength, he swam and swam until his arms gave out, finally reaching the shore, feeling the sand against his skin exposed by his clothes.
On the edge of the shore, six more bodies lay scattered—some conscious, others semi-conscious, but all somehow there.
Kim felt strong arms grabbing his waist, supporting his almost-tumbling head in weakness. When Sunoo looked ahead, he saw everyone already there, gathered, weak, full of water and sand, but together, as they had always been. At that moment, he allowed himself to cry, feeling Heeseung supporting his weak body on his shoulder, collapsing and holding everyone like an anchor. And if Sunoo had looked around a bit more, he would have seen that dawn was breaking.
🩸
The sunlight filled the room, seeping into the skin of the boy lying down, and he felt something warm, comforting—the smell of rosemary mixed with other spices causing a feeling of coziness. Slowly, he opened his eyes, the brightness hard to get used to in those first moments, Kim's mind blank as if still dreaming, which he probably thought he was, as only in his most unreal dreams such a thing could be possible.
His pupils dilated, he took a deep breath, feeling the air pass through his entire chest—a sensation almost unfamiliar to him. He raised his hands, seeing the light bathe his skin, and it didn't hurt, it didn't burn, it just... felt good.
With a dry throat, an unreal sense of tightness, fear, happiness, the boy sat up, looking around the room scattered with various things—from pillows to books, inkwells, compasses. He didn't know what had happened; one moment he was nearly drowning, the next embraced with the other six, wet and sandy, crying, and now, what?
As the boy with clear eyes thought of the other boys, his heart skipped a beat, and this time, it truly skipped, pulsing through his bones. He placed his hand there and felt it, felt the erratic beats, the pulsing, and it left him breathless, his mouth even drier. Getting up quickly, he looked out the large window, relieved to see the others, warmed by the sun, almost like humans... humans? How was that possible? Sunoo wondered.
His clear eyes landed on Jake, Jay, and then Heeseung, who was also waving, a wide smile, completely genuine, seeming genuinely happy, something Kim hadn't seen in a very, very long time, and that liveliness overwhelmed Sunoo with so much emotion that his legs almost gave way. The doubt persisted, but if this was a dream, he wished he would never wake up.
Kim ran towards them, with a skeptical look that was met only with a wide smile, Jake taking his hand, the warmth of his palm against Sunoo's wrist making the boy want to cry for some reason. So he ran, pulling Kim through the fields, the other six laughing behind him, and he couldn't remember, couldn't remember the last time he had felt so alive.
Sunoo sat in a corner further away now, the others out of his sight, enjoying the cool breeze, a yellow flower he had plucked from the low shrubbery between his fingers, his back against a large tree, eyes closed, breathing in all the air that was granted to him, for an unknown amount of time, but it scared him to think that it could have an expiration date.
The sound of footsteps pulled the boy out of his internal meditation, his eyes opening and his blurry vision clearing, but his now lively heart wasn't prepared for the presence that entered his space—Lee Heeseung, if he already caused things when Sunoo couldn't feel anything, now it was something so strong that he couldn't control it, more than before.
"H-Hyung?"
The tall boy looked at him, smiling in a way Sunoo hadn't seen in a long time, at least not directed at him, not like this.
"What's the surprise, Sunoo ya? I noticed you seemed a bit distant and lost in thought, what happened?" Lee asked, sitting next to the boy, shoulder touching shoulder, heat radiating from the older one like burning coals.
The younger boy blinked, his hands now trembling, gripping the flower in his fingers tighter than necessary. He wanted, he wanted to ask what all this was about? How did he end up here? How did he feel so alive, why didn't the sunlight hurt, why was his heart beating, what happened, what had he lost? But he was afraid, afraid of sounding crazy, inconvenient. Amidst all this, he also wanted Lee so much, wanted to touch him, kiss him, feel his now warm hands on his living body, and it scared him so much that he had to pull away, run away, before he did something weird.
Kim considered various possibilities, alternate universes—had he been magically transported to one? It sounded crazy, but vampires existing wasn't exactly normal either. And what if in this universe he didn't have anything with Heeseung like in the other one, if the older one saw him only as a little brother he had to take care of? He wouldn't be crazy to do something about it; that thought hurt the younger boy like several needles piercing his body, but somehow, it was a relief.
Caught up in his own thoughts, silent for minutes, Kim only came out of his trance when he felt Lee's large hands drag him onto his lap, leaving the boy pale in surprise. Sunoo now looked at Lee's face in shock, moistening his lips in a nervous habit.
" You're not paying attention to me Sunoo ya..., that's bad, I don't like it, what's on your mind that's more important than me?" Heeseung asked, his hands firmly gripping the smaller man's thighs, his eyes sharp, wanting to bare Kim's soul completely, as he always did.
Yes... this Sunoo knew, this was familiar. Before the boy had a chance to open his mouth, to explain his doubts, Lee pressed his now warm lips to Kim's, his hand moving from the boy's thigh to the back of his neck, holding him there tightly, fingers digging into the hair that ran down to the beginning of Sunoo's neck.
The smaller boy choked on that warm mouth, the pressure of the tongue was familiar, but the heat of it all made him dizzy, lose control, want to beg for more, want Heeseung to leave so many marks on him that he himself didn't know where Kim began and Lee ended.
The heated kisses were slowing down, the older one's mouth now moving down to Sunoo's neck, his teeth scraping against the skin making the younger one shiver, he felt the older one's inhuman urge to mark him, but he knew there would be many unnecessary explanations if he did.
" You're all red...blushing, I didn't know you could look even more beautiful like this, Sunoo ya...I wanted to mark you, to see how much redder you would get... " The taller one murmured against Kim's skin, inhaling the scent of flowers, mixed with rosemary and orange that made Lee's head spin.
Sunoo moaned softly, his breath leaving his lungs, his whole body pulsating with desire, but also fear, fear that every time Heeseung made him fly, he also brought him deeper underground, he couldn't help but think about it, it was automatic.
The younger one didn't know where this would lead, if he would be fucked here, among the low flowers, or just kissed, in case sometimes voices hadn't shouted the names of the two, warning that Sooha was there.
Sunoo felt Lee's body arch, freeze in response to that name, he himself felt something, a sense of familiarity, affection, that spilled over every edge of his being.
Heeseung lifted Sunoo's body with his, placing him on the ground, examining the boy from head to toe, straightening out the rumpled shirt that almost fell off his shoulders, his fingers going to the lips of the younger one, wiping away any remnants of what had happened there.
" Let's go, Sunoo ya." With that, Lee turned his back, walking in front of the younger one.
The boy with clear eyes had never understood how Heeseung could act as if nothing had happened a second later, when he still felt shaky, unable to control his breathing, as if it only affected him, this made him warm with anger, anger at himself.
When Lee came forward, followed by Sunoo behind him, everyone else was too engrossed in the conversation with Sooha, but Jay noticed, he always felt the smell of something wrong lingering in the air, whenever he saw Sunoo's trembling eyes, or Heeseung's gaze that seemed like a black hole ready to swallow that beam of light that was Kim.
The youngest one looked curiously, the others gathering around that presence, Sunoo saw a tall, beautiful girl, 'beautiful' was an ephemeral adjective for what she was, her soft voice and easy laugh seemed to enchant everyone, when she looked at Sunoo it was as if his heart warmed, as if he already knew her.
She smiled and beckoned him with her hands, her sweet voice calling his name made Kim immediately feel drawn to her, almost like a planet gravitating around the sun.
" How are you? I missed you so much! " Sooha wrapped her arms around Sunoo, gently stroking his cheek at the end.
The boy just smiled, feeling a bit bewildered because he couldn't remember who she was, but also with a sense of familiarity, as if something was missing in his brain, an important piece.
Kim also didn't miss the way Lee pulled the girl into his arms, smiling at her in a way that made something click inside him. The older one looked at her as if nothing else existed there, only the two of them, as if no one else's gaze mattered, as if he wanted to show her off to the whole world, so different from him...so different from the need he had to hide what he had with Sunoo.
It was even sadder because Kim couldn't feel anger towards the girl, anger towards Lee, only a deep sadness, thoughts that he really didn't mean a third to Heeseung, that kind of hurt, it hurt too much.
It was late, nearly sunset, yet the sun still shone brightly, as if relishing its final hours in the sky. Jay lay beneath a fringe of leaves on the ground, sunglasses shielding his eyes, the warmth of the rays on his body, the calmness of the breeze, the memory of how he couldn't do this in the past almost entirely forgotten.
"How's Sunoo doing?" he asked Lee, who was sharpening some branches with a knife to make the evening campfire.
The elder glanced at the reclining figure, a strange feeling passing through him.
"Well?... Why would I know?" he replied, returning his attention to the knife in his hands, brow furrowed.
"Must be because you always have his attention. Wherever you are, he's there," Jay answered, now removing his sunglasses and finally looking towards Lee.
The older man set down the twigs and knife, finally meeting Jay's gaze.
"Be clear about what you're trying to say," Lee's voice was sharp now.
"You're not as clever at hiding things as you think, Heeseung, especially about Sunoo. Just... don't hurt him, or I swear I'll..."
"Swear what, Jay? What are you going to do? I take good care of him, I don't need your moral lessons. You think I don't know? How you act like a leech ready to crawl wherever Sunoo gives you space?" Lee retorted, his eyes now dark with barely restrained fury.
Jay froze, biting his lip but not easily shaken, lifting himself up and taking a few steps closer to Lee, who remained seated.
"Yes... so take good care of him, because if I find out you're doing anything otherwise, I'll personally take him away from you. Don't test me, Hyung," the honorific almost begrudgingly added at the end, Jay walking away, leaving Heeseung stunned, his body simmering with something ugly.
🩸
Everyone was huddled around the campfire, with Sunghoon remarking that they did this often, almost asking in puzzlement if Sunoo didn't remember, but the younger thanked Park for not bringing it up, as he wouldn't know what excuse to make.
They discussed various topics, which Kim couldn't keep up with; his mind was solely focused on not letting his body get up and go look for Heeseung and Sooha. Why did they leave together? Where did they go? Why were they taking so long?
Sunoo's head spun, various thoughts tangling in Kim's chest, insecurity consuming him.
"Your hands will get hurt like this, Sunoo ya..." Jay took the younger's hands, preventing him from digging his nails into his palm, snapping him out of his stupor.
Kim looked to the side, finally noticing Jay's comforting presence beside him, the older man giving one of his beautiful smiles, imparting a sense of peace to the younger.
"I... I'm tired, Hyung... tired..." Sunoo murmured, perhaps exhausted physically, or from something else, or everything.
Park looked at him fondly, resting the younger's head against his shoulder, telling him he could rest for as long as he wanted.
That's when Heeseung and Sooha's voices were finally heard, the two engaged in conversation, emerging from somewhere along the beach shore.
Kim looked on, feeling displaced, somewhat out of sorts. The two seemed right together, their gazes balanced in equal feelings, neither more nor less, just as they should be. Sunoo noticed the wristband on Heeseung's wrist, wrapped in a meticulous way too neat to have been done by either of them, knowing exactly who must have put it there.
The younger clenched his hands on his pants, trying to stop the tremble of it all.
When Lee finally sat down with Sooha by his side, his gaze fixed on Sunoo, observing his posture, head resting comfortably on Jay's shoulder. He saw the older man furrow his brow, their eyes locking for a moment, as if Lee was somewhat incredulous, silently urging him to leave, something Kim ignored, closing his eyes, wanting to disappear into himself, just enjoying the warmth of Park's shoulder.
🩸
Sunoo was deeply resting his body, now truly asleep, the sound of crickets and the breeze hitting the wooden house was all that could be heard, the boy too tired to care.
But there was no denying, or going unnoticed when he felt a weight sink into the mattress of his room, warm hands passing under his shirt, while a nose dug between his shoulders.
The boy mumbled sleepily, but soon opened his eyes in alarm, choking as he felt nails scraping his nipples, his body trembling. Kim turned in a hurry, fighting against whoever was trying to press against him, but his protests died upon seeing Heeseung's face, the purple hair cascading down his eyes, eyes that seemed somewhat out of it.
- Hyun- - Sunoo didn't even finish, his mouth being engulfed by Lee's, the boy now on top of the smaller body, spreading Sunoo's legs with his knees pressing right at that spot, causing the boy with light eyes to choke on the Lee's mouth, the body unprepared to feel all of that so quickly.
It was hot, unrestrained, pleasurable, mind-blowing, now that Kim felt the fullness of the heat, of the living body, it was so overwhelming that he could only be molded as Lee wanted, just accepting, because in the end, he would also have a piece of Heeseung.
The older one separated from the boy's abused lips, looking down and seeing the sight of a red Kim from his face down to his neck and where that damn shirt prevented him from looking, and honestly it was fucked up, fucked up how Kim Sunoo seemed like a fucking addictive drug to Lee, one that caused anger when he didn't have it, anxiety when he thought it could be taken from him, it was twisted as hell, he knew, but at the moment, it was just what he had, what he knew.
- Tell me... tell me you love me, like you always do, Sunoo ya, say that I am the only one you love... - Lee begged, his teeth marking the Kim's white skin on his neck, not caring at the moment if he would leave marks, if others would see, if there would be explanations for it.
Sunoo breathed heavily, his body arching to meet Lee's thrusts, his lips murmuring incoherent moans, grabbing the older one's white shirt with such force that it would probably tear.
- Sunoo, say it. - Lee's mouth now pressed against Kim's ear, the knee grinding more forcefully into Kim's center, making the younger one's head spin.
- I love you, Hyung, it has always been you, there is no other, that makes me feel the way you do, you... know that. - The younger one uttered, his voice coming out loaded, honey and molasses dripping as he said it, because it was the truth, Sunoo would never love anyone with the intensity he loves Lee.
Heeseung stopped, his face hidden between Sunoo's shoulder blades, his arms holding the smaller boy's body so tightly, his body trembling as if he was afraid the boy would disappear right before his eyes. Kim wrapped his legs around Lee, pulled his neck around his arms, his hands stroking the strands of the bigger boy's hair, remaining silent.
This silence lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like hours to Sunoo, certainties and feelings, decisions opening up right before his eyes, things that hurt so much they made him want to cry, but could no longer be put off.
The boy felt Lee's body finally move, rocking against his, the cloud of desire returning and darkening both their senses again.
Lee pulled away, his gaze now penetrating with a single target, Sunoo. The purple-haired boy took off his own shirt, his now tanned skin showing, leaving Kim with a dry mouth, and soon the smaller man found himself being stripped too, his shirt being thrown somewhere while his pants were ripped from his body as well, Kim standing almost naked under Lee's penetrating gaze, as if he were prey.
The boy choked when he felt Lee's lips on his thighs, kissing the inside, followed by bites and hickeys that reddened the boy's pale skin. At the same time as his mouth was on the younger boy's skin, Lee's hands were spreading his buttocks, his fingers delving into the shorts the boy was wearing under his pants, finally inserting a finger into Kim's entrance, making the boy arch his body and moan Lee's name in a mantra, the older man smiling against the skin of Sunoo's thigh.
Heeseung moved up again, leaving trails of kisses, tongue and saliva all over Kim's body, finally reaching the boy's mouth, kissing him again, a quick, needy kiss, full of tongue, saliva, teeth, Lee's hands squeezing Kim's waist tightly, while the smaller boy rocked against the older man's hard length, their intimacies touching in a delicious friction, Sunoo and Heeseung moaning against each other's mouths.
Lee pulled Kim's mouth apart, gripping the boy's shoulders tightly, turning him at a violent speed, the younger boy's face hitting the pillow, his back exposed to the older man.
The boy's ears caught a deep sigh and a curse rolled out of Heeseung's mouth, his skin soon feeling the burn of a slap against his buttocks, making Kim shudder, rocking against the sheets as he gripped them tightly. Heeseung lavished kisses on Kim's back, finally pulling down the last of his clothes and removing them, hearing the measured man moan tearfully as he felt the fabric touch his sensitive, already hard cock.
Lee could never find enough compliments or words to describe the beauty of Sunoo on his back, especially when he knew that the younger man was there for him, waiting for him, for his cock. It was an ugly feeling of possession that went from Lee's chest to the pit of his stomach, causing a core and a desire to hide Kim only where he could see.
Gritting his teeth, the older man removed his pants, Kim still holding the sheets tightly, anticipating what he knew was coming. It was then that Lee's warm body came into contact with the smaller man's naked back, the older man careful not to crush Sunoo with his weight, but still pressing hard, his cock pushed its way into Kim's tight entrance, who groaned in pain at the intrusion, but bucked his hips to meet Heeseung's, the older man growling as he felt the movement go straight to the head of his penis.
Lee grabbed a fistful of Sunoo's soft hair, pulling hard, the boy moaning loudly as his body arched even more towards Heeseung's, fucking him shallowly without ever entering where the younger boy really wanted to.
" Please hyung, I need it, please..." Sunoo pleaded in desperation, he needed to feel Heeseung, he needed it like crazy.
The older man laughed, murmuring how beautiful Kim looked like this, begging for it, and that's when Lee sank Kim's face even deeper into the pillow and plunged into the smaller man's tight hole, his cock making its way in slowly, torturously, deliciously, hotly, heavily.
Sunoo shook in spasms, his legs going stiff with tension as his throat burned with sobs, his hands gripping the sheets so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Lee wasn't so different from Sunoo, the feeling of the smaller man's warm insides squeezing him, the heat that held him, the boy's soft skin under Lee's fingers, was too much to bear, he wanted to fuck Kim like an animal, like a madman, to see if this inhuman desire would go away at least a little.
Heeseung rocked his hips against the smaller man's, his pelvis slamming into Kim's ass, while his tip hit spots that Sunoo forgot he had, and then pulled out, only to repeat the same process in a tortuous and pleasurable dance, the sound of sex being heard throughout the room, skin hitting skin, moan against moan.
Lee was thrusting hard against Sunoo's entrance, the boy already dizzy from the various sensations, while the bigger man's mouth was biting, sucking on every strand of skin he could reach, grunting in the process every time he felt Kim's insides clench on his cock, suffocating him, swallowing him.
Sunoo could barely breathe, his body jerking each time Heeseung's cock entered him, his mouth biting into his skin, it was a pain mixed with pleasure that made him dizzy, the boy felt the older man pulling out of him, and moaned in displeasure, in despair, only to be turned around again, his back hitting the bed with a new force, while Lee made his way inside the smaller boy again, his balls resting on Sunoo's buttocks, while the boy almost felt impaled by the size of the sensation of having Heeseung in his bowels, it was so good at the same time as it hurt that his body felt overwhelmed. Kim only knew how to tighten his legs around Lee, bringing him even further inside himself if possible, both of them moaning in unison.
The purple-haired man looked deeply into Sunoo's eyes, those clear windows that seemed to contain all the truths about Heeseung's soul, more than he himself, Heeseung hated it, at the same time as it attracted him, pulled him close.
The older man kissed the other hard, his tongue asking for passage, which Sunoo willingly granted, the kiss becoming different from all the others, slow, calm, as if they just wanted to feel everything each one could give. Lee was still thrusting against Sunoo, in and out, hips slamming, calmer now, feeling the warmth of Sunoo's insides fully, for longer, both their heads spinning, getting closer, closer to that fullness.
The smaller man didn't know how to feel, he had always been used to picking up the scraps that Heeseung left along the way, but now that he saw Lee touching him like that, looking at him, kissing him as if it was the right thing, as if he was right, it made him want to cry, it made him want to do something for both of them. He only realized he was crying when Heeseung stopped and looked at him as if two bugs had sprung up in his head.
" W-what? Did I hurt you? Sunoo ya? " Lee asked uncertainly, rushing to get away from Kim, thinking he had hurt him, only to be stopped by Kim, who wrapped his thighs tighter around the older man, bringing him closer to himself.
" No...I'm sorry...I just, I felt overwhelmed, keep going hyung, please, I need, I need you. " Sunoo whispered, wrapping her arms around Lee's larger body and speaking into his ear.
The bigger boy nodded, still a little uncertain, kissing his soft, wet cheek, as if to indirectly scare away those tears, he knew, he knew that sometimes he could be abrupt, his words and actions hurt Sunoo, but never once, not once had the boy complained, fought, or cried and now having a glimpse of Kim's tears, it bothered him deeply, it left him lost.
The smaller man squeezed even tighter around Lee, feeling the older man start to move inside him again, slamming into him in that vicious motion, while warm fingers gripped his back, causing Kim's torso to lean even further into his thrusts.
Sunoo's mouth couldn't utter any more coherent words, just begging Lee to go faster, harder, and that's what he did, stretching Sunoo inside in such a way that it would hurt for days afterwards.
The speed increased as their orgasm approached, Kim sobbing with pleasure and between tears that he couldn't control, Lee looking right at the boy's face, below him, kissing his mouth, his neck, while lifting Sunoo's thighs even higher, reaching a new depth, he felt the boy trembling beneath him, his body spasming, his nails scratching harder, and finally a sensation of warmth as Sunoo came spilling onto his stomach, squeezing Heeseung even tighter in a torturous way, the pressure on his cock, Kim's soft body beneath him, his little voice repeating his name, all of it made Lee spill out, everything inside the boy, his head ringing and his ears feeling like they were going to burst, sweat dripping off both their bodies as they tried to catch their breath.
Lee pulled out of Sunoo, turning on his back, staring at the ceiling, still trying to recover, he looked to the side, where the boy still lay, too silent, Sunoo was always silent after sex, but he always sought affection, comfort from the presence of the bigger man after an orgasm, but now, he seemed lost, no glimpse of trying to crawl into Lee's arms.
" Hyung... I think we should stop, let's stop this. "
Sunoo's eyes widened as she said these words, finally coming out, detaching herself from the deep roots Kim had put her in for so long she couldn't remember.
" We've already stopped Sunoo ya, I'm not into you anymore, I'm tired too..." Heeseung tried to convince himself that this was what Sunoo was saying, it had to be.
" No Hyung, Heeseung, we have to stop, all of this, meeting, having sex, kissing, everything, we have to stop. " The younger man was still staring at the ceiling, as if in a trance, as if the words and he were a separate thing.
Lee looked at the younger man in shock, as if his own ears had played a cruel trick on him.
" What the fuck is this Sunoo?" The older man asked, his tone rising, finally getting up to face the still naked boy lying on the bed.
" Hy-ung...I feel like I'm not me anymore, every time I fall more in love with you, every time you reject me, I feel like I lose a part of me, that you take a part of me, I can't do this anymore, please...go away. " The boy's sobs intensified, his smaller body trembling, while he still couldn't face Lee.
" Sunoo ya, what? What do you mean? " Heeseung couldn't take it anymore, he pulled Sunoo's naked body against him, forcing the boy to face him.
"We're not good for each other, Heeseung, can't you see? I'm your dirty secret, and you're mine. We'll never get out of this. You don't need me, it's not me you want... you're just afraid of hurting me, hyung. But it's okay, I'll endure it. That's why I'm setting you free, so you can go after what's truly yours," Kim whispered, his voice almost devoid of strength, each mention of Sooha and Heeseung fueling his resolve to speak his mind.
"Don't act like you know everything about me, Sunoo, don't you dare! You're not a dirty secret or anything like that. What the hell got into your head?" Lee gripped the younger man's face gently in his hands, desperation finally taking hold of him.
"No?... Do you see how you behave? As if the mere thought of anyone knowing about us makes you nauseous and terrified. You don't even interact with me in front of anyone anymore, hyung, how is that fair to me? I can't do this anymore. I love you so much, hyung, so much that loving you feels like I'm drowning slowly," the younger man now looked into Lee's eyes, pleading, hurt, suffocated.
If Heeseung said he didn't know the impact of his actions on Sunoo, his inconsistency, how he behaved, he would be lying. But he didn't know how to react, what to think, especially since he was the one who caused all this pain to the younger man. In the end, Jay was right, he hurt Sunoo, but he was too selfish to let him go. The mere idea of not having the boy with him anymore, not being able to touch him, not like others but as if Kim belonged to him, left him breathless, in panic.
"Sunoo ya, I... I'm sorry, I didn't know... It's all my fault, forgive your Hyung, okay? I messed up, I didn't mean to, you're tired, let's rest, when you wake up, everything will be better, I promise," Kim was grabbed by the taller man, pulled into an embrace, both bodies now trembling with emotion, but Sunoo didn't want this now.
"I want this to end now, please hyung, leave, put on your clothes and go now," Sunoo pushed the older man away forcefully, distancing himself as far as possible.
Lee tried to protest, to hold Sunoo, to kiss him, but the boy refused everything, just wanting the other to leave, and in the end, Lee grabbed his clothes and left, left hoping that tomorrow the younger man would change his mind, that he would look at him with those sweet eyes, with all the affection as always, he could only hope.
🩸
The days passed, and Sunoo's soul seemed to sink deeper and deeper, avoiding Lee being the most painful thing he had ever done in his life. Ignoring the knocks on his door at night, pretending not to notice when Heeseung looked at him or tried to talk to him, and seeing Sooha finally taking her rightful place by Lee's side—it all hurt so much that he wanted to disappear.
It was another night, but the fair-haired boy felt a foreboding sensation, reminiscent of the events that almost drowned him and the other six boys. That cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, accompanied by an uncomfortable sweat, signaled that something was about to happen.
The boys were gathered around the campfire; Sooha had prepared something with eggs and asked everyone to try it, giving the first piece to Sunoo, who looked slightly perplexed but smiled and took a small bite.
"How is it? Tasty, right?" she asked Kim expectantly.
"Hmm, it's good..." Sunoo replied, impressed by the flavor. Sooha laughed and served everyone else while they all chatted and laughed, engrossed in conversation. Sunoo caught Lee's gaze, sensing his eagerness to say something, but soon his attention was diverted by the girl with long hair who said something that made him laugh, causing a pang in Kim's chest.
It's better this way... it has to be this way, thought the younger boy as he tried to join Jungwon and Jake's conversation.
Noise... noise... noise.
That woke Kim from his sleep, his eyes opening to stare into the darkness illuminated only by the large moon. A slight breeze, yet laden with something unsettling, made Kim sit up in panic. He looked around frantically for everyone, but he was alone—there was no one else. The younger boy bit his lip, the terrifying feeling of suffocation rising in his throat, causing him to stand up and clutch his chest, still looking around in astonishment.
"Jay hyung?!" he called loudly, but received no answer. "Jake hyung? NI-KI! Anyone!" Sunoo could feel the panic setting in now, brushing the dust off his pants, the boy retraced the path he always took back to the wooden house, finding the way worse than usual, everything seeming more cracked, broken, as if it were crumbling.
When Kim finally spotted the small wooden cabin, he ran towards it, stopping abruptly in shock as he saw a figure through the window—Sooha, banging on it in distress, crying as if she were trapped.
"SOOHA!" the boy shouted anxiously, hands sweating and tears already streaming down his face. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" he repeated in hopes that she would respond, but all he felt was a looming presence behind him, causing his body to prickle with fear.
Kim slowly turned around, stepping back suddenly as he saw a familiar face approaching him—Sooha. But how on earth was Sooha here, if she had just called to him in distress from the window? Sunoo thought anxiously, but this wasn't Sooha; she looked like her, but her presence was discomforting.
"I finally found you," he heard the smaller figure say before everything went black, his consciousness fading, his body going numb.
Fire.
That's all the six of them saw—disbelief in their eyes, the image of Sunoo being grabbed by Sooha from the window engulfed in flames before everything collapsed.
Jay ran, determined to get Sunoo out of there. He couldn't, he couldn't leave Sunoo there; he would die, he would die, he couldn't.
However, the boy was held back forcefully by the others, all in panic, unable to comprehend that Sunoo was inside the burning house. They acted mechanically, preventing Jay from his suicidal mission, who trembled with rage on the ground, sobbing and punching the earth in a desperate plea.
Lee shook from head to toe, feeling like he might faint, his wide eyes staring at the blazing house. The sight of Sunoo being engulfed, devoured, while everything crumbled around him flashed like a nightmare, causing him to vomit what little he had eaten, coughing as he looked at the ground, hands trembling.
"No... Sunoo, Sunoo ya, no, this can't be real..."
The six boys watched the burning house, sobbing in panic, unsure of what to do, as the image of Sunoo faded along with the idea that this was once a home. All they had left were memories with the boy, everything that remained of Kim.
And they yearned, for the first time, that they were not human, but it was too late.