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Returning from a case in Mexico, Napoleon and Illya decide to have lunch in the cafeteria. After noticing his suit getting tighter, Napoleon orders a salad and waits for his partner to join him. Illya says he brought back something from their assignment for the cook.
Pouring some ranch dressing on his Iceburg lettuce, Napoleon inserted his fork into the bowl and lifted it toward his mouth. Suddenly, the fork was slapped out of his hand, sending the iceberg lettuce flying across the table.
"What the hell?" Napoleon said as he jumped out of the chair. Pulling his gun, the cafeteria became quiet. Noticing it was his partner, Napoleon put his gun away. "It's alright," he told the rest of the people there.
Sitting down, he looked at Illya. "Do you want to explain why you sent my lunch across the table?"
Sitting across from his partner, Illya asked, "Did you send a package of lettuce from our last assignment to the kitchen?"
"No, why would I?" Napoleon asked with a confused look.
"I was in the kitchen giving my gift to the cook when she said that she had just made your salad from the special lettuce you sent to the kitchen from Mexico."
"We didn't send anything from Mexico," Napoleon said.
"However, they received a package from us for your salad," Illya said.
"Dr. Axios, obviously. He must be upset that we stopped his men from destroying the ice burg crops. We managed to stake out the right field this time." Looking toward the kitchen, "The rest of the salad?"
"It's on its way to my lab. If you need me later today, that's where I'll be. I've already let the rest of the science department know the salad and packaging were on their way." Illya stood up. "Try not to get poisoned."
Later that afternoon, Napoleon entered the science lab. Iceberg lettuce was spread over desks throughout the area, and signs stating whether it was regular or poisoned were set in front of piles.
Illya was in the corner, dressed in PPE. Coming toward Napoleon, he removed his gown, mash, and gloves.
"Any luck?" Napoleon asked, pointing to the lettuce.
"Not more than before. The same basic formula has mutated once again. We tried the solution for the first time, and it appeared, but it still works on that batch, not this one. Axios has found a way to use the original formula to kill all the other vegetables."
"Well, let the rest of the men keep working on this. Mr. Waverly wants us to head to Ciudad Jaurez, Mexico. Something is going on with the Jalapeno peppers."
Illya put his equipment away, "That's in the Of course, another hot place. If I didn't know better, I would say Dr. Axios is doing this in places he knows I'll hate."
Napoleon laughed as his partner joined him to go to Waverly's office.
