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“Joel, wait!” All Etho hears is the swift slam of a door and the brunette is gone. “Joel, what’s wrong?”
Etho wasn’t sure how he got into this position. A few hours ago, Joel was just saying goodbye to him as he left they’re shared dorm. Then, he returns from Grian and Jimmy’s and just storms off into his room. He let out a small grunt as he passed Etho, but it didn’t stop him from noticing the shimmer in his eyes, tears threatening to pool out.
So there Etho was, standing outside Joel’s room, hand pressed against the door as he tried to talk to Joel. Of course, there was no response from the boy. Etho was starting to wonder if Joel had fallen asleep, or worse, passed out, but was slightly relieved — which shouldn’t have been a good thing, now that he thought about it — when he heard soft whimpers from the bedroom door.
“Joel? You okay?” He whispered.
He awaited for a response, but the whimpers just started to sound muffled and Etho was starting to grow worried.
“Where’s my fellow Boat Boy at..?” He winced, feeling the second-hand embarrassment from his sentence. But that didn’t matter, because Joel still wasn’t responding.
Etho sat there in silence and kept his hand on the door, as if he could feel Joel’s presence right there. He wanted to break down the door, rush inside and hold him in his arms for the rest of the night. He wanted Joel to know he was there for him and that it was okay. He wanted Joel to stop crying because it hurt his heart and he could feel himself slowly crying.
“Joel? Are you in there?”
He wasn’t expecting anything, really, so when Joel finally muffled a “fuck off, Etho”, Etho let out a little smile.
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” Etho said, slowly leaning his back against the door. “We’re friends, Joel. You can talk to me.”
He almost swore he heard Joel break more at that, but he didn’t press on the matter. He knew how much Joel’s pride meant to him. He simply started sliding down the door and sat there. Moments passed and none of them said anything. All there was was the sound of the fan from the living room and the inconsistent sniffles from Joel’s bedroom, which were obviously Joel, but Etho didn’t say anything.
“Why are you here, Etho?”
“I told you, Joel. I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”
“Can’t you just.. I don’t know, blummin’ leave?” He chokes on his tears to utter a sentence. “I don’t fucking want you here.”
I don’t fucking want you here.
“I.. okay.” Etho says. He didn’t mean that. He was just angry, and sad, and he didn’t mean that. Right?
—————
Etho woke up, leaving his room to find Joel’s room empty. Joel hadn’t left his room the whole night, Etho knew because he stayed up until 3am to check on him. Yet, he could still hear the whimpers occasionally coming from his room. Etho had no idea what happened. Everything was fine yesterday. Everything was fine until Joel left to go hang out with the Bad Boys, and when he returned, he didn’t speak to him at all.
He hoped to catch Joel on his way to class, but it seemed Joel had left early. He sighs and heads to his own class.
“Morning, Etho.”
Etho sat down in his seat, head still replaying moments of last night.
“Etho? Are you alive?” Someone snaps their fingers right in his face which makes him jump.
“Void! ‘Dubs, what the hell was that?!”
“Sorry, sorry! You didn’t say good morning to me.”
“Good morning, BDubs.” Etho sighs, “Happy?”
“Wha- hey! No!” BDubs watches as Etho falls back into his trance, giving him a slight push. “I know that look, Etho. What’s wrong?”
“That’s what I wanna know.” He mutters.
BDubs looks at him with a confused expression, head tilt and eyebrow raised.
“It’s Joel. He came home crying yesterday and he won't tell me what’s wrong.” Etho sighed.
“Oh, man.” BDubs replies. “That’s rough, man.”
Etho rolls his eyes and BDubs immediately adds on, “No, seriously! It’s Joel we’re talking about here. He’s usually open when it comes to emotions.”
Etho nods, then sighs. “That’s why I’m concerned. He used to tell me everything.”
He was waiting for BDubs to reply, but was met with silence. And knowing his friend, Etho knew he was hiding something.
“Spit it out, ‘Dubs.” He deadpans.
“What? How did you- I wasn’t- ” BDubs sighs as he watches Ethos’s gaze harden. “Void, Etho, I.. I was just thinking.”
“About?”
Bdubs gulps, “what if.. what if Joel’s mad at you?”
—————
Etho returned to his dorm, finding Joel already on the couch, watching television.
“Joel.” He says, slowly closing the door behind him, as if doing anything would scare Joel away like a deer caught in headlights.
“Oh. Hey, Etho.” Joel says, as if nothing had happened. “I made pasta if you want some.”
“Joel..?” Etho hesitantly asked, earning a hum from Joel, though his eyes never left the screen. “Are you okay?”
Joel let out a laugh, but his gaze never left the screen, and they never fell onto Etho. “What question is that? Of course I’m okay.”
Etho could easily see through the fake mask Joel had on. It was a really shitty one, and he had a feeling Joel knew.
“I just figured after last night- ”
“Look, Etho. I was drunk and not in the right mindset.” Joel looks down onto the floor, but his gaze never fell onto Etho. “Just let it go, please?”
“Yeah.. sure.” Etho replies. “Sorry for asking.”
“You’re good.”
Etho continued along and head into his room, carefully thinking about what BDubs had suggested earlier. That wasn’t possible.. was it? Etho did nothing wrong. Nothing changed. But, clearly, something did. And Etho had no idea what that something was which was driving him crazy.
Joel came home crying, left early, and when he returned home acted like nothing happened and brushed it off saying he was drunk. Throughout the whole conversation, he was clearly avoiding Etho’s eyes as if one look into them and he’d break down again.
As Etho shut the door behind him, he paid mind t the small whimpers from the living room as he felt a tear of his own fall onto his face.
What the fuck is happening with you, Joel?