Chapter Text
(Osmosis Jones POV)
(Picture of Osmosis on top^)
Last week, Frank had a cold and Shane finally convinced him to take some medicine, Drixenol. That's how I became acquainted with the pill, Drix. At first it wasn't great, I wasn't enjoying how uptight he was, I was constantly, and still am, trying to get him to lay back and chill a little.
After being stuck with him for a few days we grew closer as friends, and I surprised myself by asking him to stay around, even after he was finished his job. So he turned around, walked away from the line to get flushed out, and came back with me to the station. We got him a badge, a gun, all his credentials, he's staying with me at the moment in the lymph tissue.
Drix and I started making our way down to the station to meet the chief, once we entered the station is was completely filled to the brim with all sorts of granulocytes in all sorts of stress.
"JONES, DRIX, GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!", The chief screamed from the back before walking back into his office leaving the door open.
Drix and I looked at each other with grimaces, Drix mumbles, "Do you supposed he's always in this sour mood?"
"Well with politicians up his hemichannel, I couldn't imagine he's ever in the best moods," I say with a snarky remark, walking towards the office. Drix followed closely, he closed the door behind us as I plopped down on the chair then Drix floated besides me.
Chief was staring down at the papers in his hands with a stressed expression rubbing his temple, before looking up at me, "Jones..."
"Now I know what you want to say!", I start with a humble expression nodding my head.
"Jones," The Chief said again with a lower voice.
"Thank you Osmosis Jones and Drix! You've done an amazing job on that cold case!", I say grinning at him.
"Jones." He said again more sternly.
"You want to reward us for our bravery! Hard work! Humble attitudes-!", I boasted before The Chief exploded, "FRANK H DETORRE, JONES, WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP FOR TWO SECONDS?"
I just stared at him with wide eyes before breaking out into a sheepish smile, and nodded me head, "Course sir, go ahead."
The Chief stared at me angrily before sitting back in his chair sighing deeply, "There's a new virus in the body, and by new I mean, new. One we haven't seen before, it's not a different mutation or anything of that sort, it's very concerning."
I raised a brow crossing my arm and looking over at Drix before Drix opened his mouth, "Sir, with all due respect why are you asking for our help? I can't help much except in terms of knowledge and my strength and Jones is... well he's just a neutrophil."
I just looked up at Drix with a look of disbelief, before rolling my eyes, and saying sarcastically, "Wow, thanks Drix, you're a wonderful partner," I look back at The Chief with a more serious expression, "Despite Drix's passive aggressiveness, he has a point, if it's a virus why do you want us on the case?"
"I'd want you to run the case or anything, numbskull. Our department handling the case anymore, it's going to the department of Lymphocytes, and for some reason, they asked for two of our people to be on it, but it's they're case," The chief's gaze turned deadly serious, staring daggers at me, "That means, Jones, you will listen to everything they tell you, every order, every command. If they tell me they asked for you to retrieve them a cup of glucose and you gave them a whiff of attitude, I'm gonna-!"
I raise my hands up in defense, "Aye! Yea yea! I got it yea! Calm down already!"
The chief points an angry finger at me, before giving a defeated sigh, "Fine, okay, you and Drix better head towards the lungs, the primary bronchus."
He gave us a dismissing wave and Drix got opening the door and I smiled as I walked backwards, "You won't be disappointed in us!"
Drix rolled his eyes pulling me out by my arm shutting the doors, "Come on Jones, lets get there quickly now."
We got in the car and began making our way through the blood stream to the lungs. We pulled up beside the other cars, they weren't the regular cop cars, they were large blacks vans, filled with the big guns. I let out a whistle looking at the cars nodding my head looking at the vans, "Maybe if the department issued cars like these I'd be more inclined to drive the departmentally issued cars and keep my baby back home."
Drix chuckled patting my shoulders, "Well your ride has a lot of personality... and I surely doubt you'd switch out your car for a van."
I laugh nodding, "Nah, you're right, the black van just looks cooler than those goofy cars."
We turned our attention to the white blood cells gathered by the entrance to the lungs I let out a breath, "Killer cells".
They were bigger and stronger than us, while we took care of regular bacteria and funguses, they took care of viruses, they were the big guns. We walked closer to the group, one of the cells turned to look at me, "Hey! What's going on my fellow lymphocytes!"
The rest of them turned to look at me, all of them were just as large as Drix, I would never say it out loud, but it was sort of intimidating. The first cell who turned to look approached, looking me up and down with his hand on his hip, I raised a brow at him, before extending my hand, "Names Osmosis Jones, my associate here is Drix, and you are?"
"Did you say 'Fellow Lymphocytes'?" He asked like I had asked him if there was a difference between mucus and histamine.
Drix and I exchanged a glance before I answered slowly, "Yea?"
He scoffed, "Hardly, you are a simple granulocyte, and you...", his eyes trail over to Drix, visibly making Drix uncomfortable, "Well I don't know what in the Frank you are, washed up? Used? Should've been pissed out already? I don't know pick one."
I place myself between Drix and the Killer cell, I glared up at him, "Hey now, don't be disrespecting my boy, I won't be tolerating none of that... and if you had planned on berating us, why did you even ask us to be here, hm?"
He crossed his arms, "Not to work... or whatever you do at your precinct, we needed someone a little more competent than a chief cell to clean up after we're done here. I am Captain Nk, and if that's too much for you to process, just captain will do, yah dig?", he asked with an attitude leaning down with a scowl.
Me and him glared at each other, before I broke out in a strained smile, but my eyes weren't smiling, "Sure pal... Whatever you need."
He stood back up straight with a triumph smirk, "Good boy, now stand back and let the big boys handle it.
He walked away, him and the other Killer cells laughing as they entered the lungs, I just glared after them, shaking my head in annoyance, turning back to Drix who seemed surprised, "What?"
He shook his head, "Nothing, just surprised? I guess... I thought surely you'd..."
I grin at him, "What? Curse him out? Retaliate? Nah man, besides..." I say slowly, looking back over to where the Kill cells entered with narrowed eyes, "If we're gonna clean up the mess, we're gonna have to get in the mess."
Drix looked at me perplexed before I began walking into the Primary Branchus, Drix tried calling me back but I kept walking towards the entryway, before he finally gave up and followed after. He scowled at me, "I swear Jones, if we get in trouble-"
"Chill Drix, he said he wanted us to clean up their mess and we can't do no cleaning up if we're out here."
Drix just huffed frustrated, "I don't even know why he wanted cells from the granulocyte department, it's not even our jobs to deal with this kind of thing."
I shrugged, "Maybe they just wanted to gloat down at us."
We kept walking and made our way into the battle zone, my eyes widening as I looked at this massive virus! I never seen one before, every time Frank's gotten a cold the Killer cells would deal with the virus, but this was my first time seeing one.
This things neon pink body was shaped like a dreidel, tentacles shot out of it trying to hit the Killer cells, it was angry, screeching loudly, whipping its tendrils around hitting the aveoli angrily, causing them to turn red.
I watched as NK ordered the other cells, whipping his head around shouting orders, while blasting his gun repeatedly. I watched sort of amazed, but he whipped his head in my direction before his eyes widened and began sprinting in my direction. I stepped backwards as he drew nearer before tackling me to the floor sending us flying 30 feet, he had prevented me from getting struck by a tendril. I laid on my back on the floor as he angrily glared down at me, "Why the fuck did you come out here? GET TO SAFETY NOW."
NK stood up looking around then back down at me picking me up by my arm causing me to stand up straight, then shoved me towards a building, "Get in there! Stay there until I call for you."
Disgruntled, I nodded my head running for the building at a brisk pace. I jumped through a shattered window ducking down. I furrowed my brows looking down at the ground, I felt useless. I wanted to be there and help... Drix is right, why are we here? They could've gotten a cells who's job to clean up, to clean up after them, but they asked us? Why?
I run my hand through my hair frustrated, letting out a frustrated sigh, before looking up and noticing a small cell curled up in the corner of the room. He looked scared of me, clutching a pink glob of ectoplasm in his arms, staring up to me with strange pink eyes, his hair looked like disoriented lumpy flower, skin light green. We stared at each other for a moment, he wasn't a cell I've ever seen before, I slowly stood up, my hands raised, but even if I stood slowly the small cell was scared and flinched back, into the corner turning his body.
"Hey hey hey now little... guy, I ain't gonna hurt you... did you get separated from your mother cell?" I asked softly, being carefully not to move in too fast.
The little cells eyes frantically moved around the room and me, gulping, nodding his head. I give a small smile, then notice another small cell, it was even smaller. The other cell seemed to be protecting it, covering the smaller cell with his body, "Oh there's two of you huh? Aren't you particular looking ones," I say with a smile and furrowed brows, "Look, I can get you to safety ok? I'm a white blood cell, my other pals can get you back to your parent cell ok-?"
Before I finished my sentence, I heard Drix calling out, turning my head to the sound of his voice, "Jones! Jones where are you? The Virus is dead!"
I looked back to the small cells but they were gone, raising a confused brow, then hopping back through the window, Drix let out a sigh of relief, "Oh Osmosis! I'd been worried you had been killed!"
"Nah baby, takes a lot to kill me," I say with a laugh, before poking his hard chest, " And where did you disappear off to? I got my ass chewed out by Captain tightass!"
"Getting my own ass chewed out, Jones," Drix scowled crossing his arms, "You were already ahead of me, and before I could catch up one of the cells stopped me to tell me to wait at the entrance."
We both sighed shaking our heads before I looked back at him with questioning eyes, "Hey! Did you see two small cells around here? They were in that building I was in, they said they got separated from their parent cells."
Drix raised a brow, "No, I didn't see anyth-"
"Ah well look, you're still alive, glad you didn't get killed...I'd have to waste time calling in a different cleaning crew." I heard NK from behind me, marching towards us. I turned to look at him with narrowed eyes, he had a light smirk on his face.
I wanted to say something snarky back but I just gritted my teeth before letting out, "NK... thank you... for saving my life."
He seemed to be surprised, blinking in shock, before nodding, "Of course... just next time, don't get in the way."
The communicator on Drix's belt buzzed and he picked it up and listened in on it, before nodding, "Jones we gotta go. Unscheduled vaccine shot coming in through the deltoid, it's a bacterial type of shot so we gotta be there with the other neutrophils."
I nodded my head slowly while turning to look at NK with a smirk, "Guess we're off cleaning duty, hehe, dead or not, I guess you're still gonna have to call some other cells to clean up your mess."
NK frowned deeply down at me, I swiveled on my heel, and walked by Drix waving for him to follow, before calling out, "I'll catch you on the flip side baby, let's go Drix! Time to do some hot type shit!"