Real Subtle

by DemonAngelSakina

Summary:

"I, uh, I don't know about the rest of you...but I'm gonna go, uh, hit up a church confessional real quick." - Joseph Frost

Notes:

*(sitting in a massive chair labeled "God" with a finger poised over a big red button labeled "thunder")* What?

Chris Redfield: (grins) "Well, sorry not sorry, but you're not exactly a subtle man, Captain."

Albert Wesker: (Unimpressed-Wesker face) "I am the picture of subtlety, Redfield."

[cue unholy-wrath-of-God-level loud, room-and-window-shaking crack of thunder]

Jill Valentine: (looks out the door to see literally everyone, including Chief Irons, stop whatever they are doing and/or leaving various rooms to shout various iterations of "what the fuck") "Uhhh..."

[cue all of STARS staring awkwardly at Wesker...then immediately taking a step away in unison]

Brad Vickers: (yelps as he trips over a chair)

Albert Wesker: (adjusts sunglasses) "Hmm. Odd number of thunderstorms lately." (returns to his office)

[cue all of STARS awkwardly glancing around the room at each other]

Joseph Frost: "I, uh, I don't know about the rest of you...but I'm gonna go, uh, hit up a church confessional real quick."

Chris Redfield: (follows Joseph out the door) "Hold that elevator!"

Notes:

Please...ffs, do not take this seriously.
This scene popped into my brain jello while I was sick and, as I would fail at drawing it in comic form, I had to write it out.
I'll see myself out to the trash can.

With my Nyquil.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of DAS' Resident Evil Derp