an everlasting love

by witchboyjm

Summary:

Junhui and Minghao have been divorced for six years. They won't be divorced for seven if their daughter has anything to say about it.

Notes:

I'm having the time of my life with this one!!

Playlist here.

Chapter 1: like a family

Minghao sees Junhui across the auditorium, saving a seat for him, and he smiles. He’s in the front row as promised.

“Hey,” Minghao says as he sits down. “Shiji will be thrilled that you actually got front row. Thanks for saving me a seat.”

“You had that meeting, I get it,” Junhui says, waving Minghao off. “I had to fight over your seat, actually.”

“Oh?” Minghao asks as he settles in. Junhui holds his bag for him while he gets his coat off. “Do tell.”

“Some moms have been very angry that there’s been an empty seat in the front row, you understand.”

“Of course, of course,” Minghao laughs. “Thank you.”

“You’re fine,” Junhui says. “I— Oh, they’re starting.”

Minghao claps politely as the track starts up for The Nutcracker. Shiji is Clara. Minghao has never been more proud, really. He doesn’t really care much about the ballet on the whole, but Shiji shines in her role. She’s been so disciplined about this, about practicing at home even after class, and Minghao is impressed that her eight-year-old attention span has been so focused on this for so long.

Junhui taps his hand on his leg next to Minghao, one of the habits he’s had since they were kids, and Minghao tries not to laugh when he’s a little off-beat on the songs that Shiji isn’t in. He’s obviously handled The Nutcracker the same way Minghao has: with a single-minded focus on their kid. Minghao nods along to the ending songs and he’s out of his seat with everyone else for a standing ovation while everyone comes out to bow. Shiji beams when she makes them out in the front row.

After the show, Minghao and Junhui go backstage to pick up Shiji and Minghao smiles when Shiji runs straight at Junhui, her hair still in her little ballet bun. She lets Junhui pick her up before she leans over to Minghao from Junhui’s arms to give him a hug.

“Hey, Jiji,” Minghao says, his heart and arms full of eight-year-old. “You were wonderful.”

“Was I lovely?” Shiji asks. It’s her new thing lately—things that are “lovely.”

“Very lovely, sweetheart,” Junhui laughs. “The loveliest, even.”

“Can we go get hot chocolate?” Shiji asks, nearly vibrating in Junhui’s arms. 

She asks Junhui, but Junhui nods his head toward Minghao. “It’s your dad’s night, my dear. Ask him.”

Shiji turns to Minghao with pleading eyes and Minghao sighs. “Alright, hot chocolate it is.”

“And Daddy comes?”

“Does Daddy want to come?” Minghao asks, raising his eyebrows at Junhui.

“If you’ll have me,” Junhui says with a shy smile, like he thinks the answer will be anything but yes when their kid is asking. They’re nothing if not stellar co-parents. Minghao nods. “Off we go then?”

He sets Shiji down and helps her with her shoes before she takes one of his hands and reaches out for Minghao too, one little unit. It makes navigating backstage exceedingly difficult, but Minghao thinks it’s fine in the end. They make it out in one piece.

There’s a cafe within walking distance and they make their way there slowly with Shiji between them. She’s still small for her age despite Minghao and Junhui’s heights and her little legs can only take her so fast. 

When they get there, Shiji sits with Junhui at the table, chattering about the show, while Minghao gets their hot chocolates and his tea. She’s still talking when he gets back to them and he sits next to Junhui so she doesn’t have to strain to talk to either of them, handing her the hot chocolate.

“Thank you, Dad,” Shiji says politely. Minghao is still a little resentful that Junhui got to keep “Daddy” and he didn’t. It’s fine. He’s fine. 

“Yeah, thank you, Hao,” Junhui says just as politely. 

There was a time where Shiji tried to call Minghao “Hao” because of how much Junhui calls him that. They shut that down rather quickly.

Minghao nods and sips his tea, letting Shiji go back to talking about being backstage and watching all of the dancers and how they’re “so lovely, I’m going to be a ballerina when I grow up.”

“You’re already a ballerina, Jiji,” Minghao laughs. “That’s the whole point. Look at your little bun.”

“Well, I can’t see it.”

Junhui snorts. “No, I guess you can’t. Still, Ji. You’re a ballerina. You can definitely keep going when you’re bigger though.”

“I’m going to be the Snow Queen one day,” Shiji says dreamily. Minghao leans over the table and pats her hair. 

“I bet you are,” Minghao says with a smile. Junhui stretches out and puts his arm on the back of Minghao’s chair and Minghao lets it happen. As long as Shiji sees them getting along, they’re in a good place. “Are you almost done?”

Shiji nods. “I’m done. Time to go home?”

“We’ve got to get all of that glitter off you,” Minghao laughs. 

“I don’t envy you,” Junhui says. Minghao is sure he doesn’t, not when glitter down the drain is involved. “Let’s walk back to the cars.”

Junhui lets Shiji hop onto his back to carry her back to their cars and he really does spoil her so much, but Minghao doesn’t mind. Junhui is strict where he needs to be. Minghao will begrudgingly admit that Junhui has grown into a great dad. He struggled at first, that’s for damn sure, but he’s grown.

Junhui gets Shiji settled in the car seat in the back of Minghao’s car even as she complains that no one else in third grade uses a car seat like she always does.

“You’re just so little, Ji,” Junhui says. “You know the drill. Buckle up.”

Shiji huffs, but she follows instructions. 

Junhui says goodnight to Shiji and shuts the back door before he looks up at Minghao. “See you guys on Tuesday?”

“For dinner, yeah,” Minghao says. “See you then, Jun.”

Junhui smiles and waves behind him as he leaves and Minghao gets in the car.

“I miss Daddy on your nights,” Shiji says wistfully. 

Minghao laughs. “I know, sweetheart. Do you miss me on Daddy’s nights?”

“Yeah!” Shiji says too loudly. “I wish we all just lived in one big house.”

“Sorry, kiddo,” Minghao says. He tries not to feel nauseous with it. “Neighbors is what we’ve got for you.”

“That works, I guess,” Shiji sighs. “I’m sleepy.”

He’s glad for the change in conversation and he picks it up for her while he thinks about what she said. It’s the first time she’s brought anything like this up, like she’s actually disappointed that they’re divorced. Minghao thought they were doing so well. He thought they were doing so well. He and Junhui try so hard to make this as good as it can be for her despite the divorce. They live two doors down from each other, they go to all of her events together, they have dinner once a week when they swap her for the week, they do everything they can.

They’re still divorced. That’s hard to get around. He just never thought Shiji had a problem with it.

She falls asleep on the way home and he lets out a breath. He needs to talk to Junhui about this before it becomes a problem. 

When they get home, Minghao coaxes Shiji inside and into the bath so he can scrub the glitter out of her hair from the show before he gets her in bed. He starts to read a chapter of the book they’re reading, but she nods off before he can finish. He kisses her hair and closes her door behind him.

He calls Junhui as soon as he’s in his bedroom.

“Hey, Minghao,” Junhui says when he picks up on the second ring. “Everything okay?”

“No one’s hurt,” Minghao assures. “We just had a— A thing, I guess. Shiji said she missed you on my nights and she misses me on your nights and she wishes we all just lived in one big house.”

Junhui sucks in a breath. “She’s never said anything like that to you before?”

“Not at all. You?”

“No,” Junhui says. “Do we need to get her into therapy? I know we’ve talked about it.”

“It might be time now that she’s old enough to process it,” Minghao sighs. “I just felt nauseous. We try so hard.”

“Yeah, we do. We’re still divorced.”

Minghao runs a hand down his face. “Can’t fix that.”

“Not really.”

“Therapy it is, I guess,” Minghao says. “We should figure out what to say when she brings it up.”

“Let’s talk to her therapist about it,” Junhui says. “I’m sure we’d mess it up. We apparently mess everything else up.”

“Not everything else, Jun,” Minghao sighs again. “We’re doing our best.”

Junhui sighs. They’re doing a lot of that. “Right. Doing our best with what we have.”

“Doing our best with what we have.”

What they have is a fundamentally broken family, but Minghao doesn’t say that. Both of them know it. No one needs to remind them. They remember it vividly. 

“Alright, well, I’ll look into therapists tomorrow,” Junhui says. “We’ll split the cost?”

“As always.”

“Got it,” Junhui says. “I’ll let you go. It’ll be alright, Hao. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

“We always do,” Minghao echoes. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Sleep well.”

“You too.”

Minghao hangs up and puts his head in his hands. He doesn’t stop thinking about it until he falls asleep.

 

---

 

Minghao picks Shiji up from school on Tuesday afternoon and she’s nearly bouncing on her feet. 

“What are you so excited about, little miss?” Minghao asks with a laugh.

“Gonna see Daddy!” Shiji says. “And you’re here! Can I have ice cream after dinner?”

“If you’re good,” Minghao laughs as he takes her hand. She pointedly doesn’t complain about her carseat and Minghao thinks ice cream really is a great goal. “You have to eat your vegetables though.”

“I can do that,” Shiji says quickly. She talks about school as they drive and she runs to Junhui when she sees him at the door of the diner.

“Hey, Hao,” Junhui says when Minghao comes up to both of them, Shiji clinging to Junhui’s hand. “You ready?”

They’re just at their normal diner, but Junhui holds the door open and bows like a fool like he does everywhere they go. They all go through their days when they’re seated and for a little bit, they’re just a regular family. It tends to ache when Minghao thinks of it like that, so he tries to shove it aside, but it isn’t quite working. Shiji does something silly and so Junhui-like and Junhui laughs and taps Minghao’s foot with his. 

It’s nothing like the last few years they were together, nothing like when they were married, but they were also 21 and stupid and overwhelmed then. It’s more like high school, more like before Shiji, but with the wonderful addition of her.

Minghao doesn’t know what to do with that.

He’s been thinking about it more now that Shiji brought it up and he can’t seem to quash the regret. It isn’t real, he doesn’t really regret the divorce—they’d fallen apart long before they got divorced—but he regrets that they can’t be a real family. They’re as close as they could be, but they’re not there. They never will be. One day, after Shiji is 14, there will be other people added to their dynamic too and they’ll be even further from it. 

He shouldn’t think like this. They are a real family. A family doesn’t require married parents. It doesn’t.

“You okay?” Junhui whispers to Minghao while Shiji is distracted with her coloring page. “You look off.”

“I’m alright,” Minghao lies. Junhui looks like he doesn’t believe him, but he doesn’t press. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”

Junhui hums and he’s about to say something when Shiji shows him her picture before passing it to Minghao to look.

She’s drawn the three of them, all holding hands. Minghao excuses himself to the bathroom.

He splashes water on his face and tries to catch his breath. He doesn’t know why this is all surfacing after six years of being divorced. He hates it. He hates feeling like this, he hates questioning himself. It was good that they got divorced. It was. They needed to.

This feeling will fade once Shiji’s comment fades. That’s all it is. He feels guilty. That’s all this is.

He should get back out to the table. He checks his appearance in the mirror before he goes back.

Junhui gives him a strange look, but Minghao shakes his head. Not in front of Shiji. Not at all, ever, actually. Not about this.

They make it through the rest of dinner without incident and, when Junhui and Shiji are gone, Minghao lets himself cry on the way home. He drives by Junhui’s house on the way into the neighborhood, sees them getting out of the car, and cries a little harder.

He pulls himself together before he gets inside. He’s cried about it. That’s done now. He has to be done now.

 

---

 

Junhui has Shiji for the weekend, which means Minghao has the freedom to go out with Seokmin and Mingyu. He might even take someone home. Look at him go.

Mingyu buys the first round and Minghao nurses his drink, standing to the side while he watches Seokmin and Mingyu dance. Someone comes to stand next to him and he’s a little shorter than Minghao, but he moves with confidence. 

“Hey,” the guy says. “You here alone?”

“Depends on why you’re asking,” Minghao says. “Are you going to ask me to dance?”

“Was hoping for it,” the guy says. “I’m Hansol. Do you want to dance?”

“Minghao, and yeah, I do.”

Minghao downs the rest of his drink and sets his glass down before he follows Hansol onto the dance floor. Hansol sets his hands on Minghao’s waist and Minghao throws his arms over Hansol’s shoulders and they move easily and Minghao is, surprisingly enough, having fun. Hansol keeps cracking dumb jokes in Minghao’s ear and Minghao is laughing and he’s pleased when Hansol buys his second drink.

They’re at a table talking when Minghao’s phone rings with Junhui’s ringtone. 

“Sorry, I’ve got to take this,” Minghao says apologetically before he answers. “Hey, Jun.”

“Hey, sorry, you sound like you’re out, but she’s running a fever and asking for you,” Junhui says. “I can just let you talk to her.”

“No, I’ll come,” Minghao sighs. “I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

“Thank you, Hao,” Junhui says gratefully. “Just let yourself in. We’re in my room.”

Minghao says goodbye and hangs up before he looks at Hansol with a frown. “I’m so sorry, but I have to go. My kid is sick and asking for me.”

“Oh, then go,” Hansol says quickly. “Can I get your number though?”

“I just said I had a kid.”

“So are you not dating?” Hansol asks. “I mean, that’s fine, but—”

“No, I just—” Minghao sighs. “Most people aren’t interested in a dad, let alone one who’s trans.”

“Well, I guess I’m not most people,” Hansol says with a smile. “So is that a yes?”

Minghao smiles and opens his phone, handing it to Hansol and letting him text himself. 

“Now go,” Hansol says. “Good luck.”

Minghao gives a little salute before he texts Mingyu and Seokmin to tell them that he’s leaving and calling an Uber to Junhui’s house. He’s glad he’s only two drinks in and doesn’t reek of alcohol, because it means he can go straight to Junhui’s.

When he gets there, he lets himself in with his key and he finds Shiji curled up to Junhui in Junhui’s bed. 

“Hey, Jiji,” Minghao says softly. She makes a soft whining noise and she’s always so pitiful when she doesn’t feel well. Junhui nods toward his dresser and Minghao pulls out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, changing quickly in the bathroom before he gets into bed on Shiji’s other side. They’ve done this enough times that it’s comfortable—Shiji always wants both of them when she’s sick. They’re used to crawling into each other’s beds and trying to comfort her.

“Dad,” Shiji whines before she moves away from Junhui to curl up on Minghao’s chest. Junhui runs his hand up and down her back. 

“She spiked a fever a few hours ago,” Junhui whispers. “Has thrown up a little. I think it’s the flu.”

“And right before Christmas too,” Minghao coos softly. “My poor Jiji.”

Shiji wraps herself more firmly around Minghao, too sick to even get upset about Christmas. It must be bad for her.

“Have you given her Tylenol?” Minghao asks.

“Mhm, an hour ago,” Junhui says.

Minghao nods and presses a kiss to Shiji’s hair. “Sleep soon, honeybee.”

Shiji nods and Minghao can tell she’s miserable by how slowly she’s moving. She falls asleep eventually, her breathing evening out, and Minghao looks over at Junhui. “She’s out.”

Junhui helps Minghao adjust Shiji so they can both get out of bed to talk, tucking her in carefully. Junhui guides Minghao to the kitchen and starts making tea, sighing heavily once the kettle is on.

“Sorry, I know you were out.”

“You know it’s fine,” Minghao says. “Of course I’d come. I’m glad you called.”

“Are you staying the night?” Junhui asks. “I figured you would.”

“Yeah, sure,” Minghao says. Junhui hands Minghao a cup of tea and Minghao nods gratefully. “Thanks. I’ll sleep in the guest room if you want.”

“Nah, you can sleep in bed with us,” Junhui says, waving a hand dismissively. “We always do.”

The first time they did it, Minghao went home and cried for an hour. That doesn’t happen anymore. They’re okay now.

Minghao nods and they finish their tea in silence before Minghao puts his mug in the dishwasher and follows Junhui back to bed. They settle on either side of Shiji and Junhui whispers a soft “goodnight” before he flips the lights off. Minghao whispers “goodnight” back and tries not to think too hard about it.

 

---

 

In the morning, Junhui cooks breakfast while Shiji sleeps in and Minghao checks his phone to find a message from Hansol, just a good morning and an ask to go out that night. 

Minghao looks up at Junhui, thinks about it, and says yes.

 

---

 

Their one date is fine. It’s fun, it really is, but Minghao politely declines when Hansol asks for a second date. He can’t put a finger on why he does it.

He might know. He chooses not to.

 

---

 

The next time Minghao sees Shiji and Junhui at the diner, Shiji runs straight for him. She’s like this with both of them and Minghao never takes it for granted.

At the table, they talk about their days like they normally do and Minghao is alarmed when Shiji suddenly gets quiet.

“Shiji?” Minghao asks. “What’s up?”

“Can we go to the movies?” Shiji asks. It’s so jarring that Minghao laughs.

“We can try to go this weekend,” Minghao offers.

“All of us?” Shiji asks hopefully. “Like a family?”

Ouch. Minghao sees Junhui flinch across the table. “You can ask your dad if he wants to.”

“Please, Daddy?” Shiji asks, turning to Junhui. “It would be so lovely.”

Junhui gives her a small smile and Minghao can tell that his feelings are hurt. “If it would be lovely, how can I say no?”

“Yay!” Shiji says, clapping happily. “A family!”

Minghao’s stomach manages to drop further. Has she not thought they were a family this whole time? Minghao doesn’t even know how to approach that topic of conversation. He thought therapy was supposed to help this, but maybe once every two weeks isn’t enough. Maybe that’s it.

“Yeah, Jiji, a family,” Junhui says carefully. “You know we’re a family, right? You, me, and your dad, we’re a family.”

“But you’re not married.”

“No, we’re not,” Minghao sighs. “That doesn’t mean we’re not a family.”

“Families are supposed to love each other.”

“There are lots of kinds of love,” Junhui says. “I love your dad in his own way. I love you in your own way. That makes us a family.”

Shiji huffs. “That’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean, Ji?” Minghao asks gently.

Shiji just pouts, clearly done talking. She stops like this when she’s upset, just falters and won’t speak anymore. Minghao tries to hold in his sigh. He and Junhui pick up a different topic of conversation to give her time to cool off. Minghao will try to talk to her about it later.

She still won’t talk by the time Junhui is buckling her into her carseat in the back of Minghao’s car. He says goodnight to her and shuts the door before coming to lean against the driver’s side door to talk to Minghao. Minghao turns the car on and closes the door so Shiji can’t hear them.

“Are you going to talk to her about all of that?” Junhui asks.

“I’ll try,” Minghao sighs. “No guarantee she’ll talk to me about it.”

“She needs to know that we love each other,” Junhui says. “It’s just not how she’s used to seeing with her friends’ parents.”

“Probably pretty hard for her to believe when we’re not together,” Minghao says. “That’s fair of her.”

“But I do love you,” Junhui sighs. Minghao’s heart does something interesting in his chest. “It’s just not— You get it.”

Minghao runs a hand through his hair. “I get it. She just doesn’t. I’ll try to talk to her.”

“Let me know if she says anything else,” Junhui says. “Otherwise, will I see you for that movie?”

“Yeah, we should,” Minghao says with a smile. “I’ll text you. Goodnight, Jun.”

“Goodnight, Hao.”

Minghao gets back in the car and Shiji looks at him, but he can tell she’s still not going to talk. She’s still got that stubborn look on her face. 

“You know your dad and I love you very much, right?” Minghao asks anyway. He doesn’t expect her to respond.

“Yeah,” Shiji says quietly. “I know.”

“That’s what matters, Jiji,” Minghao says softly. “What matters is that you’re safe and loved.”

“Okay, Dad,” Shiji says after a moment. “Can we go home now?”

“Yeah, we can,” Minghao sighs. He doesn’t know what to do with the silence that falls over them. Shiji is so rarely quiet like this. It makes him sick to his stomach. 

He’s sick to his stomach with all of it. He thinks of “but I do love you” and he’s sick to his stomach.

 

---

 

Every year, their family spends Christmas together. There was only one Christmas where they didn’t, right after the divorce, and Minghao still wants to break down and sob when he thinks about how awful that Christmas was. It never quite heals over when Junhui is right there.

This year, they’re all at Minghao’s house, curled up on the couch together and watching cheesy kids Christmas movies that Minghao kind of hates and Junhui kind of loves. Shiji has her back leaned up against Minghao’s side with her feet in Junhui’s lap and Minghao can tell that she’s having the time of her life. She loves Christmas and Minghao isn’t dense enough to not realize it’s because they’re all together for so long. She’s also a little high on sugar from the cookies they decorated. It’s a little bit of both. 

He feels Junhui looking at him and he looks up and smiles. Junhui smiles back. It’s good. They’re good.

It was a mischievous kind of smile, turns out. Junhui whispers “go!” and Shiji turns around to tickle Minghao. She’s relentless about it and Junhui joins in and Minghao is laughing so hard that he can’t breathe when they finally let up. 

“You two are both brats,” Minghao laughs breathlessly. “Absolute brats.” 

“We did nothing wrong,” Junhui says, raising his hands up. “We were just having some fun, Hao.”

“You’re both getting sent to bed,” Minghao says, trying for firm. He caves in the face of Shiji’s tiny “Dad!” and Junhui’s whiny “Hao!” that gets him laughing again. “Alright, alright, but Jiji, it really is shower time.”

“I’m going!” Shiji calls as she nearly runs out of the room. She knows that shower time means it’s nearly story time, and she’s going to eat it up with both of them there to do it. Junhui laughs and starts to clean up the living room, shooing Minghao off when he gets up to help. 

“I’ve got it in here,” Junhui says. “I know where everything goes. You take the kitchen.”

Minghao tidies the kitchen and listens to Shiji sing in the shower like she always does. He jumps when Junhui speaks from behind him, calling his name.

“Hey,” Junhui laughs. “Just me. Wanted to make sure you were good in here.”

“Can you pack up the cookies? Tupperware is in the—”

“Yeah, I know,” Junhui says. He opens the right cabinet and something strange is sitting in Minghao’s chest at the realization that Junhui knows how to navigate his house entirely. “Are we putting out gifts after she goes to bed?”

“Yeah, even if it’s her first year without Santa,” Minghao sighs. “I’ll miss it.”

“She’s growing up,” Junhui says sadly. “Our little baby. Remember when you were pregnant?”

Minghao snorts. “Vividly.”

Junhui laughs. “No, sorry, I just mean— Your bump was so small and she was a normal sized baby. It never made sense to me, but now she’s so tiny that I get it.”

“There’s literally no correlation there,” Minghao laughs. “None at all.”

“No, I guess not,” Junhui says with a grin. “She really is growing up though. She’s almost nine.”

“And you’re almost 30,” Minghao says. “Life moves quickly, doesn’t it?”

“It really does,” Junhui sighs. “You know we’ve known each other for nearly 25 years?”

“Too long.”

“Too long,” Junhui agrees. “We’re ancient. My mom was harping on about it the other day as if she and your mom aren’t nearly 60.”

“Well, they’re best friends and it keeps them young and spry.”

Junhui laughs. “Sure. Your mom was asking about you when I went over to see them. She said you haven’t called.”

Minghao huffs. He’s not about to say that he isn’t calling his mom because his mom’s on one of her kicks about him getting back together with Junhui. That doesn’t feel like the right thing to say.

“We’re having a moment,” he lands on. “You know how it is sometimes.”

“Certainly,” Junhui says. “Oh, she’s out of the shower. Story time.”

“Story time,” Minghao says. He dries his hands from the dishes and follows Junhui to Shiji’s bedroom so they can read a chapter of her book. She asks Junhui to read while she curls up to Minghao and she’s nearly asleep at the end of the chapter. “Sleep time, Jiji.”

“You’ll be here in the morning?” Shiji asks. “Both of you?”

“We’ll be here,” Minghao promises. “Your dad will be in the guest room.”

“Not in your room?”

“No, honey,” Junhui laughs. “I’ll be in the guest room. You can come wake me up first.”

“Okay! Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Shiji,” Minghao says, kissing the top of her head. Junhui does the same and wishes her a soft goodnight before they shut her door behind them.

“I have her gifts in the guest room closet,” Minghao whispers, pulling Junhui to the guest room by the wrist. Junhui laughs softly and follows, helping Minghao get all of the gifts out of the closet and under the tree. It’s the magic of Christmas morning, even without Santa. 

“I have something for you,” Junhui says in the living room. He pulls a small box from behind his back and hands it to Minghao. “I know we said we wouldn’t do anything big, but I saw it and thought of you.”

Minghao hums and opens the wrapping, pulling out a dainty silver bracelet. Minghao sucks in a breath.

“Jun, I only got you concert tickets,” he says quietly.

Junhui laughs. “That’s perfect. I just— It’s pretty in the same way you are. If you hate it, that’s okay, I—”

“It’s beautiful,” Minghao interrupts. “Help me put it on?”

“It’s one of the ones you don’t have to take off,” Junhui says as he clips it around Minghao’s wrist. “You can sleep with it, y’know. For a busy dad.”

Minghao doesn’t really know what to do with himself. He brings Junhui into a hug and tries not to sob. It’s pretty in the same way you are. God.

“Thank you, Junhui,” Minghao whispers. “Thank you.”

Junhui holds Minghao tightly, one hand at the back of his neck like he always does. “Yeah, of course.”

“We should go to bed,” Minghao says quietly. “I’ll give you your tickets in the morning.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Junhui whispers back. He finally lets go of Minghao and follows Minghao back to the bedrooms.

“Goodnight, Jun,” Minghao says. He ignores the feeling in the air. It’s just because it’s Christmas. That’s all. 

“Goodnight, Hao.”

 

Chapter 2: tea and coffee

Minghao wakes up to madness.

He wakes up to Shiji in his face and Junhui in his bed, holding a cup of tea. 

“Dad, it’s Christmas!” Shiji says, all too excited. Minghao rubs at his eyes and sits up slowly, holding onto Shiji when she flings herself into his arms. “Get up, get up!”

“I know, honey,” Minghao laughs. He shifts her into the middle of the bed and accepts the cup of tea from Junhui. “I’m coming.”

“What did we talk about, Ji?” Junhui lightly scolds.

“Letting Dad wake up,” Shiji sighs. “And drink his tea.”

“You made it for him, let him enjoy it,” Junhui laughs. 

“You made this by yourself?” Minghao asks suspiciously.

Shiji laughs. “Daddy helped.”

Back when they were married, even until the end, Junhui made Minghao’s tea every morning. Junhui would make Minghao’s tea and bring it to bed, Minghao would get out of bed and make Junhui’s coffee. It was their routine.

Minghao doesn’t drink coffee, but he has a french press in his kitchen for the nights that Junhui stays over. Junhui keeps tea for Minghao.

It means it’s a good cup of tea, at least. It aches, but Shiji isn’t great at making tea and if he’s going to be up at 6 am, he should at least have good tea.

Shiji leans into him as he drinks his tea, playing calm, but she’s nearly vibrating. He laughs and sets his tea down on the bedside table to be able to get out of bed, pulling Shiji with him. Junhui follows them to the kitchen where Shiji “helps” Minghao with Junhui’s coffee while Junhui watches them both with a soft smile on his face. It’s too much in the early morning light. Minghao aches.

Minghao hands Junhui’s coffee off, swapping it for the tea that Junhui brought into the kitchen. 

“Living room?” Shiji asks, still vibrating. 

“Living room,” Junhui laughs. “Present time for babies.”

“I’m not a baby!”

Minghao laughs and starts to usher Shiji into the living room. “You are, Jiji. Just so little.”

Junhui and Minghao settle on the couch while Shiji sits down next to the tree, ready to open her presents. Minghao nods and gives her the go ahead and she’s careful about how she opens things, always wanting to save the prettiest wrapping paper. Junhui wraps his arm around Minghao’s shoulders while they watch her and Minghao smiles. 

By the time Shiji is done and throws herself at both of them, they’ve blessedly put their mugs down and are able to catch her, letting her cuddle in between them. 

“I love you,” Shiji says quietly. She’s coming down from the adrenaline rush of presents and Minghao can tell she’s still tired. She’ll go down for a nap by noon. 

“We love you too, Ji,” Junhui says. He kisses the side of her head and Minghao smiles at them.

“Do you love each other?” Shiji asks. 

“Of course we do,” Minghao says, watching Junhui carefully.

“We do,” Junhui says, avoiding Minghao’s eyes. “Your dad is very special.”

Minghao thinks of the bracelet on his wrist. He tries to keep his smile from faltering even as it burns. 

“Okay,” Shiji says, how sleepy she is making its way into her voice. “That’s good.”

Junhui laughs softly. “Yeah, it is. You ready for breakfast, kiddo?”

Shiji untangles herself from Junhui and Minghao, running to the kitchen, apparently awake. Junhui stands and helps Minghao up, holding onto his hand for a little too long.

“I do love you, you know,” Minghao says softly.

Junhui smiles, but there’s something strained about it. “I know, Hao. Let’s go feed the bug.”

Junhui walks into the kitchen and Minghao follows in a daze.

 

---

 

They don’t usually let Shiji stay up past bedtime, but the town’s New Year’s Eve fireworks are a different story. Shiji found out about it two years ago after years of them hiding it from her and demanded that they go. Junhui is nothing if not soft, so he gave in, and Minghao was dragged along with him.

It’s become a fun tradition, Minghao will begrudgingly admit, but Shiji has the most fun of any of them.

They find a spot on the park lawn to lay out their blanket at 11:30, bundled in their winter coats with hot chocolates in hand, and Shiji sits in Junhui’s lap. Junhui reaches up to pull Minghao into him so he can settle against Junhui’s side. It’s too much. Minghao chalks the way he leans into Junhui up to how cold it is outside. 

Junhui sets his arm behind Minghao to balance them both and the problem that Minghao is figuring out is that this is normal for them. Junhui isn’t doing anything differently than he has since they got divorced, since before they got divorced, since they were teenagers. The implications of that are jarring. Minghao can’t process them on New Year’s Eve.

Shiji chatters on about something that Minghao isn’t really listening to while they wait and Minghao lets Junhui take over the conversation. He looks around, taking in all of the people around them, and his eyes widen when he sees Hansol a few blankets over. Hansol is already looking back and he’s smiling. He gives a little wave and Minghao smiles back. 

Minghao’s phone buzzes.

Hansol: fancy seeing you here

Hansol: is that your little girl?

Minghao: The very same.

Hansol: she’s cute!

Hansol: and her other dad?

Minghao: Also the very same.

Hansol: he’s cute too

Hansol: i see why you turned me down

Minghao: Oh God.

Hansol: no big deal, minghao

Hansol: have a good night :)

Minghao: You too, Hansol. Enjoy.

“Dad, the fireworks are about to start!” Shiji says, catching Minghao’s attention. He puts his phone away and he realizes that Junhui was reading over his shoulder right as Junhui whips his head back in Shiji’s direction.

Oh God.

The fireworks start to go off and Minghao ignores the way Junhui is looking at him instead of the sky. He leans further into Junhui and situates Shiji’s hat on her head and watches the fireworks. Shiji puts her hands over her ears for the sound and Minghao replaces her little hands with his so she can clap with everyone else. Junhui is still watching him.

When the fireworks are over, Shiji falls asleep in Junhui’s arms while Minghao packs their stuff up, guiding them back to the car with a hand on Junhui’s shoulder so they don’t get separated in the crowd. Junhui buckles Shiji into her carseat when they get to Minghao’s car before he catches Minghao by the car door.

Junhui hesitates for a moment before he leans in and kisses Minghao’s cheek.

“New Year’s kiss,” Junhui says quietly. “For good luck.”

Minghao stares after Junhui with wide eyes while Junhui gets into the passenger seat. They don’t speak on the way home—Junhui just leans against the car door and closes his eyes. Minghao drives in silence, letting Shiji sleep, but his mind is running wild. 

There isn’t an explanation for it. That’s what he comes to. There isn’t an explanation for why Junhui would do that. He’s always been a bit of a mystery to Minghao. That’s all this is. Who knows what was running through his head?

Minghao pulls into his driveway and wishes Junhui goodnight softly before Junhui walks two houses down to his own house. Minghao watches him go before he gets Shiji out of the car.

 

---

 

Minghao finally calls his mom.

It’s a necessity more than anything—Shiji asked to go spend the night with her—but it means Minghao is just hoping his mom doesn’t bring Junhui up on the call. He never quite gets what he wants.

“Of course Shiji can come,” his mom says. “This weekend? I can take her to the farmer’s market.”

“She’d love that,” Minghao says. “I’ll bring her on Saturday.”

“You and Junhui can come and say hi.”

Minghao sighs. “Why do we always have to bring Junhui into it?”

“Honey, you know why,” she says, chiding. “Isn’t it time for you two to get over this little thing?”

“You mean being divorced?” Minghao asks. “That ‘little thing’?”

“Well, yes,” she says. “I still don’t understand why you got divorced in the first place. You’ve always been made for each other.”

“Mom, you know why.”

“Tell it to me again.”

“I’m not doing this,” Minghao says shortly. “I’ll bring Shiji at 1. See you then.”

“Honey—”

Minghao hangs up. He hates that there are tears in his eyes, frustrated and overwhelmed and hurt. He’s still hurt. He doesn’t know that he gets to not be.

“Dad?” Shiji asks, coming into the kitchen. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Jiji,” Minghao says gently.

“Do you want me to call Daddy?” Shiji asks. “He always makes you feel better.”

Not about this. Not when he’s crying over being divorced in the first place. Not when he’s crying about being a failure of a husband. 

“No, honey, it’s okay,” Minghao says, keeping his tone even. “Do you want lunch now?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright then.”

 

---

 

Shiji is at Minghao’s mom’s house on Saturday when Junhui calls him.

“Jun?” Minghao asks when he picks up. “What’s up?”

“Do you want to come over?” Junhui asks. “Someone gifted me a bottle of red wine at work. I thought you might be interested.”

Junhui only drinks white wine. Minghao only drinks red. Maybe there’s some logic to why Minghao is being invited over to Junhui’s house when they never just hang out, but it’s buried kind of deep. 

“Sure,” Minghao says anyway. Idiot. “Be over in 10?”

“Works for me. Just let yourself in.”

Minghao gets dressed and walks two houses down. He lets himself in, because he has a key. Obviously. That’s normal. 

“In here!” Junhui calls from the kitchen. Minghao joins him as he pours them both a glass of wine and hands the glass of red wine to Minghao. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Minghao says softly. “Someone gifted you a bottle without ever knowing you don’t drink red?”

Junhui laughs. “Guess they don’t actually know me that well.”

He’s lying. He’s absolutely lying. Minghao has always seen straight through him. Junhui bought this bottle.

The question is why he did it. Minghao doesn’t ask. He sips his wine instead. They move to the living room, sitting across from each other on the couch, the bottles on the coffee table and they talk idly about work and Shiji while they make their way through two glasses each. It’s too much. It’s too comfortable. Minghao doesn’t know why he’s doing this.

“Can I ask you a question?” Junhui asks, a little out of the blue. “Do you remember when we first got divorced?”

“Of course I remember,” Minghao laughs bitterly. “It was the worst time of my life.”

“Was it?”

“Yes.”

Junhui looks at him for a long time before he speaks again. “I don’t understand. You’re the one who wanted the divorce in the first place.”

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t break my heart.”

This is the first time they’re talking about it. They’ve made it six years without talking about it and now Minghao is wine tipsy in Junhui’s living room and they’re actually talking about it. He wants to run. He stays on the couch. 

“Why?” Junhui asks softly.

“I loved you with everything I had,” Minghao says. He can’t look at Junhui. “I loved you for years. I hadn’t been without you in some way since I was five and suddenly I was alone. You weren’t there anymore. You were there because of Shiji, but you weren’t there because you wanted to be. I loved you. You were gone.”

“Then why’d you ask for the divorce?”

“Why did you agree?”

“Huh?” Junhui asks.

“Why didn’t you fight more?” Minghao asks, finally looking at Junhui. “You know why I asked for the divorce. I told you.”

“I agreed with you,” Junhui says. “We’d fallen apart. We couldn’t manage being together and having Shiji and being good parents. We were too stressed, we would fight over anything, and we’d fallen apart.”

“Did you still love me?” Minghao asks after a moment.

“Yes. I loved you more than anything.”

“Oh.”

Junhui moves closer and Minghao didn’t realize how close they were to begin with. Their thighs are pressed together now. “Do you ever regret it?”

“No,” Minghao whispers. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Junhui asks, leaning closer. “Or no?”

Their noses brush together. Minghao isn’t thinking straight, being this close to Junhui for the first time in six years. He’ll use that to explain why he kisses Junhui. 

Minghao’s heart drops when Junhui pulls away, but it’s for just long enough to set their glasses on the coffee table before he sets a hand on Minghao’s cheek and pulls him back into a kiss. It’s heated, Minghao is too hot, and he grips tightly at Junhui’s waist. Minghao deepens the kiss in a haze of Junhui, Junhui, Junhui, and Junhui gasps.

Pushing Minghao onto his back, Junhui shifts so he’s caging Minghao into the couch. Minghao wishes he minded. He doesn’t. He just tangles a hand in the hem of Junhui’s shirt and holds him close.

Do you regret it?

He doesn’t know. Junhui kisses him harder and he doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know how long they kiss like that, slow and heavy, and Minghao loses himself in it. He loses himself. He sets a hand on Junhui’s bare waist and he loses himself.

Junhui slips a hand under Minghao’s shirt, trailing his fingers up Minghao’s chest while he kisses down Minghao’s jaw, stopping to nip at the skin beneath his ear. Minghao pulls Junhui’s mouth back to his and muffles a moan into the kiss when Junhui grips hard at his waist. 

“Jun,” Minghao says against Junhui’s mouth. “We shouldn’t.”

“You’re right,” Junhui whispers. “Please touch me anyway.”

Minghao sucks in a breath and thinks about it for two seconds before he helps Junhui tug his shirt off. He’s always been so pretty. Minghao always thought he was so pretty. Now is no different. 

With Junhui’s lips back on his and his hands flitting up Junhui’s chest, Minghao grips Junhui’s shoulders and flips them, situating himself so he’s on top of Junhui. He kisses Junhui hard and only breaks away to pull his shirt off, to help Junhui out of his pants and underwear, for Junhui to strip him the rest of the way down with hands skating all over his body. It feels like when they were just married, in their first apartment, on the couch because they couldn’t be bothered to make it to the bed. It feels like when they were just married.

Minghao moves so his hips are aligned with Junhui’s, so he can grind down on Junhui’s cock, aided on by how wet he is. Junhui moans, his head falling back, and he always was weak to the way Minghao’s cunt felt against him. Minghao was always weak to the way his clit would catch on Junhui’s cock, to the way Junhui’s hips would buck up against him in time with Minghao grinding down, to Junhui’s tongue in his mouth and Junhui’s hands on his hips. He lets Junhui set the pace, lets him chase after his orgasm. 

“Hao,” Junhui moans. He speeds Minghao’s hips up and his own hips stutter when he comes, messy and loud and biting down on Minghao’s shoulder. Minghao helps him ride through it before he pulls back, pulling Junhui back into a kiss. 

Junhui is still breathing hard when he slips a hand in between them to circle his fingers on Minghao’s clit. He’s always been good at this, at moving his wrist at exactly the right angle and speed, and Minghao just tries to focus on holding himself up. Junhui slips two fingers into him, almost soothing, and he speeds up his hand on Minghao’s clit and Minghao comes with a whine that he buries into Junhui’s neck.  

Junhui kisses Minghao again, soft and sweet, and Minghao realizes all at once what they’ve done. He pulls away in a rush, pulling his clothes on.

“Minghao?” Junhui asks, and he sounds so sad. Minghao can’t do this.

“We can’t do this,” Minghao says.

“Hao, don’t go,” Junhui begs. “Please don’t leave.”

“Not again, Junhui,” Minghao says quietly. He pulls on his shirt and Junhui sits up, catching his hand while he tries to walk to the door. “Junhui, please let me go.”

“No, because you’re not going to come back if you leave now,” Junhui says. His grip tightens on Minghao’s hand and Minghao has to tear his hand away.

“That’s the point,” Minghao says sharply. “Have a good night, Junhui.”

“Minghao—”

Minghao slams the front door shut on the way out. He doesn’t even have his shoes on. He doesn’t need them to walk two houses down.

 

---

 

On Tuesday, Minghao and Shiji meet Junhui at the diner. Junhui bows to Shiji as he holds the door open for her and he watches Shiji carefully while he does it for Minghao. The message is clear. Shiji can’t know anything is wrong.

Still, it’s awkward. Minghao had Junhui’s tongue in his mouth three days ago. He doesn’t really know how to act.

Minghao tries his best to keep up normal conversation, but he can barely look at Junhui. It’s like when they just got divorced all over again, the first time they did the weekly dinner. Minghao doesn’t know what to talk about. Junhui won’t stop staring at him. Shiji is just old enough to pick up on it this time.

“What’s going on?” Shiji asks suddenly. 

“What do you mean, Jiji?” Minghao asks, feigning ignorance. Shiji gives him a look. 

“You and Daddy are being weird.”

“We’re fine, honey,” Junhui says soothingly. “Your dad and I are both just tired. It wears us out, loving you this much.”

Shiji gives him a look. “I’m not a baby. You can tell me.”

“Nothing’s going on,” Junhui says. “Seriously. Everything’s fine.”

“You said we don’t lie.”

She has them trapped and she knows it. Damn how smart their kid is. 

“Your daddy and I had a little argument about adult stuff, that’s all,” Minghao says carefully. 

“But you love each other,” Shiji insists. “You don’t fight if you love each other.”

“Sometimes you fight because you love each other,” Junhui says, watching Minghao as he says it. “We’re already working it out though. We’ll be okay soon. Alright?”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Minghao echoes it and Shiji looks between them before apparently deciding that she’s satisfied. “Can I get ice cream?”

Minghao is the one who caves and says yes, sufficiently distracting her. Junhui won’t stop looking at Minghao. Minghao ignores him. 

Minghao walks Shiji and Junhui to Junhui’s car so he can say goodbye and Shiji stops them at the car. 

“You guys should kiss each other and then it’ll be all better,” Shiji says matter-of-factly. “That’s what they do in the movies.”

“What movies is your daddy letting you watch?” Minghao asks with a strained laugh. 

“Good ones, usually,” Junhui says. He looks pointedly at Minghao. Minghao continues to ignore him.

“You should get home,” Minghao says. “Goodnight, you two.”

Shiji huffs. “Goodnight, Dad.”

“Goodnight, Hao.”

“I love you, Shiji,” Minghao says softly.

“I love you too,” Shiji says. “You have to tell Daddy too. That’s how you say goodnight.”

Minghao sighs. He isn’t going to win this and, even if he did, it would only make things worse.

“Goodnight, Junhui,” Minghao says. He can’t look at Junhui, so he looks over Junhui’s shoulder. “I love you. See you later.”

“I love you too,” Junhui says quietly. It sounds like it hurts. “See you on Tuesday.”

Minghao waves and goes across the parking lot to his car, waiting until he sees Junhui pull away to start crying.

 

---

 

“Mom?” Minghao asks into the phone when his mom picks up. “Mama? I think I made a mistake.”

 

---

 

Shiji’s birthday comes too soon for Minghao’s taste. She shouldn’t be allowed to be nine. That’s too old. 

They’re throwing her birthday party in Junhui’s backyard and Minghao stands off to the side, watching Shiji run around with her friends. He isn’t surprised when Junhui comes up next to him, letting their friends and the other parents take over watching the kids.

“Come get the cake with me?” Junhui asks.

“Can’t do that on your own?”

“Afraid not.”

“Alright.”

Minghao follows Junhui inside and when they get to the kitchen, Junhui catches Minghao by the wrist gently.

“Can we talk?” Junhui asks softly.

“We’re at our kid’s birthday party, Junhui,” Minghao sighs. “Now isn’t the time.”

“You aren’t giving me any other time, so I have to take what I can get.”

“It’s on purpose,” Minghao says. He’s doing a lot of avoiding-Junhui’s-eyes recently. “I can’t talk about this with you, Jun.”

“Because you love me.”

It’s very like Junhui to just say it like that. Very like him. Minghao hates him.

“I—”

“Don’t lie.”

“Junhui, please don’t do this,” Minghao says quietly. Junhui is still holding onto his wrist. Minghao shakes him off to pick up the cake. “I’ll take the cake out. Get the candles.”

Junhui runs a hand down his face. “Fine, Minghao. We’re going to talk about this though.”

Over Minghao’s dead body. Minghao takes the cake outside. Junhui follows and Minghao can tell he’s huffy, he can always tell, but Minghao ignores it. He also ignores the look Junhui’s mom gives him. His own mom looks at him sympathetically and at least there’s that.

“Birthday girl!” Minghao calls. “Time for cake!”

Shiji races over, her friends in tow, and Minghao laughs as Junhui sets up nine candles and lights them. Shiji kind of sputters as she blows them out after they sing happy birthday, but she gets the job done eventually.

Junhui hovers while Minghao cuts and serves the cake, staying at Minghao’s side like a reminder. As if Minghao doesn’t know he’s in love with Junhui, as if he needs the reminder.

He doesn’t.

Junhui finally pulls away from him when Shiji calls for him to come play with her and Minghao’s mom takes his place.

“You look upset,” she says softly.

“He cornered me,” Minghao sighs. “He’s not letting up.”

“He loves you, honey, of course he isn’t.”

“I wish he wouldn’t.”

His mom hums. “If you think so. You know, his mom is all over me too. He talked to her.”

“I don’t want to come between you two,” Minghao frets.

“You’re my baby,” she says with a smile. “You come first. We’ll be fine.”

Minghao nods. “Thanks. I should go get Shiji for presents.”

“Go on then,” his mom says, ushering him away. He goes to get Shiji and ignores the way Junhui hovers again. He has a feeling he’ll be doing this for a while.

He stays behind at the end of the party to help Junhui clean up, Shiji playing with her new things in her room, and it was a mistake. He was just trying to be nice and responsible. 

He isn’t looking where he’s going and he bumps directly into Junhui, hands full of wrapping paper. Junhui’s hands go to his waist to steady him and his hands flex as he keeps Minghao there.

Minghao doesn’t know what to say. Junhui apparently doesn’t either. They stare at each other for a moment before Junhui leans forward and brushes his lips against Minghao’s lightly, tentatively. When Minghao doesn’t pull away, he does it with more intention, a real kiss, and Minghao feels himself start to sink into it. 

The wrapping paper crumples in his hands and jars him out of it. He jerks away and out of Junhui’s grip.

“Hao—”

“No, Junhui,” Minghao says sharply. “I should go. I’ll say goodbye to Shiji.”

Minghao is gone before Junhui can say anything else.

 

---

 

Minghao remembers leaving Junhui. Of course he does. It was the worst day of his life.

He remembers packing his things. He’d already found another apartment, he’d already contacted a lawyer. There was nothing else to do but leave.

“Are you sure?” Junhui asked as Minghao picked up his last bag. “Are you sure we should do this?”

It’s the closest Junhui ever got to asking him to stay. They both knew. It was too much, being married. They couldn’t do it anymore. Not with a toddler and their lack of communication and the way they loved each other so much, they didn’t know what to do with it when it started to fall apart.

“Yeah,” Minghao said. He remembers how hard he was crying. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“I’ll see you for the swap in a week then,” Junhui sighed. “Get there safely. I love you.”

He said it like a habit. Minghao felt it like a knife to the chest. Junhui looked devastated. Minghao had to go.

He had to. He left and he had to.

 

---

 

Shiji isn’t an idiot. At this moment, Minghao really wishes she were. At this moment, Shiji has just lured him into her bedroom and locked the door behind him. 

Junhui looks just as surprised as Minghao is.

“Shiji,” Junhui says sternly through the door. “Unlock the door.”

“No,” Shiji says. “Not until you kiss and make up.”

Minghao tries. “Shiji, let us out. If you let us out now, we won’t even ground you.”

“Then I’m grounded.”

Minghao puts his head in his hands.

“You never took the lock off her door?” Junhui hisses. 

“I didn’t think to!” Minghao says. They both put external locks on Shiji’s doors when she was a toddler and had a habit of getting out of her crib and walking around the house at night so she wouldn’t get hurt, but it’s backfiring now. “Don’t act like this is my fault.”

Junhui sighs. “It isn’t. This is all Shiji. Who’s definitely grounded, by the way!”

Shiji laughs through the door. Brat.

“Shiji, what’s going to get you to let us out?” Minghao asks. 

“You have to love each other again,” Shiji says. “Kiss and make up!”

“Jesus Christ,” Minghao mutters. He eyes the window, but there’s a lock on that too, and he certainly doesn’t have the key on him. Damn his sensibilities on keeping his kid safe.

Minghao goes to sit down on the windowsill seat, far enough away from the door that Shiji won’t be able to hear them, and pats the spot across from him. Junhui sits down hesitantly.

“We just have to stay here long enough and then lie,” Minghao says quietly. “It’s fine. She’ll get bored.”

“Or we could kiss and make up.”

“Junhui.”

“Minghao.”

Minghao sighs. “There’s nothing to kiss and make up over.”

“Oh, not the fact that we’re divorced?” Junhui asks, rolling his eyes.

“We’re divorced for a reason, Junhui,” Minghao says, still keeping his voice down. “You know that as well as I do.”

“I also know that we’ve grown up, Minghao,” Junhui says. “I also know that we divorced because we were too young. That was it. That was the reason. We did everything out of order, pushed ourselves when we were too young. That’s all.”

“That isn’t all,” Minghao hisses. 

“Yes, it is, Minghao!” Junhui says, but his voice is still hushed. “We’re grown up now, we’re better parents, we’re better at communicating and at expressing ourselves and fuck, Minghao, we still love each other. It’s been almost seven years and we still love each other. Doesn’t that mean something?”

Minghao hates that he’s crying. He wipes his eyes and he’s so frustrated. “Being in love doesn’t fix everything. We never would have divorced if it did.”

“No, it doesn’t, but it counts for a hell of a lot,” Junhui says. He’s frustrated too. They’re both frustrated and in tears and their brat of a daughter is on the other side of the door. “Growing up counts for the other bit.”

“So what?” Minghao asks. “Are we supposed to just get back together?”

“Yes!” Junhui says, quieting down when he realizes that he kind of yelled. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“And what happens if we break up again and ruin her life?” Minghao asks. “What then?”

“Then we just don’t break up.”

Minghao laughs. “You think it’s that easy?”

“When I love you this much and have for this long?” Junhui asks. “Yeah, I do. I’ve loved you since I was 15, Minghao. That isn’t changing.”

Minghao screams into his hands. “And if we start having the same problems?”

“We won’t, but if we do, we go to therapy this time,” Junhui says with a shrug. “We communicate. We’ve been co-parenting for six years. I think we can communicate pretty well at this point, when you’re not running away from it. We’re doing a pretty good job of it right now, actually.”

He has a point. Minghao hates him. Minghao loves him.

“I wouldn’t make it if we break up again,” Minghao whispers. “I barely made it this time.”

“So we won’t break up,” Junhui insists. “I wouldn’t make it either. We’ve both got a lot on the line. That’s how I know we’re going to be okay.”

Minghao hesitates. He could still walk away from this. Despite it all, Junhui would let him. 

He doesn’t want to.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Junhui asks. There’s hope all over his face.

“Okay, we can do this,” Minghao whispers. 

Junhui grins before he pulls Minghao into a soft kiss. “I love you. Always have.”

“I love you,” Minghao murmurs. “Always will.”

“Let’s get our kid to let us out so we aren’t making out in her bedroom, hm?” Junhui asks with a laugh. “Feels a little weird.”

“Feels very weird,” Minghao laughs. He takes Junhui’s hand and pulls him off the windowsill and to the door, keeping their fingers laced together. “Jiji. We kissed and made up. Happy now?”

“Did you really kiss?” Shiji asks. “Like, on the mouth?”

Junhui laughs so hard he nearly snorts. “Yes, you munchkin, on the mouth. Let us out.”

Thankfully, Minghao hears the key in the lock before the door opens and a very bashful Shiji stands on the other side of the door.

“I’m grounded, aren’t I?” Shiji asks.

“Forever,” Minghao says.

Shiji narrows her eyes, looking at where they’re holding hands. “Worth it.”

 

---

 

No one is excited about Junhui and Minghao getting remarried quite like Shiji. Their moms come in at a close second. That doesn’t mean that Shiji is perfectly content.

“One of my friends said I’m too old to be a flower girl,” Shiji whines the morning of. They’re just at their house, but the whole thing still feels awfully festive.

Junhui laughs. “You’re only 11. I think you’re fine. Besides, it’s my wedding. I get to make the rules.”

“Dad too.”

“Dad too,” Junhui says. “Go find your grandmas, kid. I’ve got to find your dad.”

“Aren’t you supposed to not see him before the wedding?”

“We’re already breaking a lot of traditions,” Junhui laughs. “I think we’re alright.”

Shiji shrugs. “Sure. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Junhui says. He kisses her hair, and she’s so much taller now that he doesn’t have to lean down all too much, and sends her off so he can find Minghao.

He finds Minghao messing with his hair in their bedroom. He looks distraught.

“What’s up?” Junhui asks with a laugh. “You look upset about marrying me.”

“I’m upset about my hair,” Minghao sighs. “I can’t get it right.”

“Let me help?” Junhui asks. Minghao nods and Junhui messes with his hair until it’s how he usually likes it. “There you go. All better?”

Junhui moves so Minghao can see the mirror. He smiles when he looks. 

“All better,” Minghao says. “Thank you, baby.”

Junhui tugs Minghao close and kisses him, stroking a hand on his cheek. “I love you. Let’s get married now?”

“Yeah,” Minghao laughs. He takes Junhui’s hand. “Let’s get married.”

 

Notes:

Find me on twt @witchboyjm <3