Chapter Text
All my life, I’ve been terrible with women. I could read a battlefield like the back of my hand, and I’ve always been able to place the right person in the right job when it comes to administrative and strategic positions, but relationships? Forget about it. Hell, I wouldn’t know the perfect woman for me if she walked up and said hello.
“The indomitable Black Dragon, New Jersey, reporting for duty!”
The azure-haired battleship stood at attention as she saluted smartly, but no amount of professionalism could keep that irrepressible grin off of her face.
“Welcome back, NJ,” I smiled in return, snapping off a sharp salute of my own before stepping forward into the inevitable hug. “How’ve you been?”
“Bored,” she laughed as she wrapped her arms around me in a warm embrace. “After that little adventure in the Mirror Sea, it’s been dead quiet out in the Pacific. Nothing but boring paperwork! But I’ve heard you’ve been a busy beaver! Operation Siren, super-secret missions to save Yorktown. I was wondering when you’d finally bring me along for a change! So what’s on the menu, huh? Super secret missions, an all-out battle against the Sirens, a life or death struggle where I get to show off my moves?”
Her enthusiasm was so adorable, it almost pained me to have to kill it. New Jersey’s face fell as she caught the rueful grin on my face. “Oh no,” she groaned, taking a step back. “Don’t say it, don’t say it-”
“Paperwork,” I blurted out, to which New Jersey let out a strangled cry of frustration.
“Seriously, Billy?” she all but wailed. “I wanted to do something cool with you for a change!”
“Saving me from a maddened Sakura shipgirl who locked me in a Mirror Sea wasn’t cool enough?” I replied with a grin. “You even got to use your cool catchphrase and everything!”
“I’d hoped you’d forgotten that,” the battleship sheepishly grumbled.
“Oh, I’ll never forget my first Black Dragon Buster.”
Her face scrunched up slightly. “Sounds wrong when you say it like that.”
“Yeah,” I admitted with a sigh. “I realized it right before I said it, but at that point, I was already committed.”
“Always over-eager,” she teased. “So…do I really have to do paperwork?”
I confirmed her fears with a nod. “Afraid so. After all of the fun of Operation Siren, the Reality Lens, and a few other things, there’s a mountain of backlogged paperwork that even Memphis and I can’t clear. So I thought of you.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“It’s not all bad,” I continued, trying not to laugh as she pouted. “For starters, once we’re all caught up, you won’t have to go back to PH. You’ll be assigned here, full-time, ready for the next big thing when it happens.”
That perked her up a bit. “Yeah? What else?”
“Something I know you’ve been waiting a long time to get your hands on…”
“Ice cream!”
New Jersey’s eyes lit up with delight as the waiter set down the large banana split sundae in front of her. She waited an entire half a second to take in the dessert in front of her before she promptly began to devour it. “Oh my god,” she moaned around her mouthful of hot fudge-covered vanilla, “It’s been so long since I’ve had any of the good stuff.” She swallowed her bite and then asked, “Why didn’t you lead with this, Commander?”
“Because then I’d have to ruin this delicious moment by telling you you’d have to do paperwork instead of using this as a bribe.”
“Mmm, smart play,” New Jersey conceded, gesturing toward me with her spoon. “You sure you don’t want any of this?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I politely smiled and waved my hand dismissively. “Got a date with Kelly tonight, don’t want to spoil my appetite.”
The battleship’s azure eyebrows arched at the old, familiar name. “Still with her, huh? How’s it going?”
“Going alright,” I lied. If I was being honest, things between us were strained at best. “Just trying to reconnect after being away for so long.”
“Ah, yeah,” she nodded. “That’s gotta be rough. How long were you gone for?”
“Between my time in the Northern Parliament and Operation Siren…” I leaned back in my chair as I did some quick calculations. “A little over a year.”
New Jersey let out a long, low whistle. “That’s a long time.”
“It is,” I agreed. “We tried to keep in touch as much as possible, we wrote back and forth all the time, called when I could, but…yeah, there was a lot of lost time that I’m still trying to make up for.” There was more, but nothing I was willing to share with New Jersey, or at that point, anyone else, at the time.
New Jersey gave me a warm, encouraging smile and placed her hand on mine. “If I know anything about you, Billy, it’s that you’re never one to give up, or back down, if you think something, or someone, is worth it. You’ll find a way.”
Her words both reassured and reinvigorated me, and I smiled back as I flipped my hand over to give hers a thankful squeeze. “I can always count on you, NJ,” I softly replied. We sat there, looking into one another’s eyes until a faint dripping sound caught my attention. “Might wanna get back to your ice cream before it becomes a banana soup.”
“Oh!” she exclaimed before returning her attention to her swiftly melting treat. “Always got my back.”
“Always.”
“So where are we headed?”
I turned my attention from the streetlights rushing by and back to Kelly, who was giving me a curious look.
“You’ll see,” I grinned. “Like I said, it’s a surprise.”
She playfully smirked in return, leaning towards me. “And what sort of surprise requires something like this?” She gestured at the elegant black evening gown she’d picked out for the night.
“The fancy kind,” I quipped, drawing a melodious laugh from her lips.
“Alright, alright,” she relented. “But if we pull up to a McManjuu’s…”
Now it was my turn to laugh. “Damn, that’s a good one. I’ll have to file that away for later,” I teased. Although if I was being honest, it would be a long time before I try and pull a stunt like that. Things were rocky enough between us at the time, and I didn’t want to run the risk of upsetting the delicate balance with a silly prank, no matter how harmless it might seem.
As the laughter died down, the car slowed and pulled up to our destination. The doors swung open and Kelly let out a gasp as she realized where I’d taken her.
“Troy’s!” she happily exclaimed as she gazed up at the red neon sign before giving me an amazed look. “How did you manage to get a reservation?”
“Pulled a few strings, called in a few favors,” I shrugged nonchalantly. “Still had to get on the waiting list, but, looking at that smile on your face, it was definitely worth it.”
Kelly’s smile grew even larger as she linked her arm with mine and leaned up to give me a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Bill.”
“Anytime, Kel,” I replied as I gestured towards the doors. “Shall we?”
“Lead on, MacDuff,” she grinned.
“And damned be him that cries, ‘Hold, enough!’” I finished the familiar line as we strode inside.
The dinner was perfect. A private room, excellent service, the meals beyond compare. It felt like we were truly reconnecting with each other, that there wasn’t an elephant in the room caused by my long absence anymore. Or at least, I thought we were. Until the subject of work came up again.
“How’s things at the office?” she casually asked, and suddenly, the baked alaska turned to ash in my mouth. I swallowed it down and cleared my throat.
“Going well,” I replied politely, hoping to avoid any arguments this time around. “We finally got an extra hand with the paperwork.”
“That’s great!” Kelly smiled, and I felt myself relax a little. Maybe we were going to be able to move past this without incident. “Who is it?”
“Someone you’d know, actually,” I answered. “New Jersey.”
“Oh, right, your old classmate!” she nodded. “How’s she been doing?”
“Going a little stir-crazy, if I’m being honest,” I chuckled. “Aside from a Mirror Sea incident a few months ago, her office had been dead quiet.”
Kelly fixed me with a quizzical look. “So you decided to break up her boredom with…paperwork?”
“Yes and no,” I chuckled. “She’s here to help with paperwork, and also to participate in a few exercises, make sure she’s staying sharp, and if any tweaks are needed to her rigging.”
That seemed to mollify her somewhat, but only for a moment. “Sure there’s not anything else? Going to be whisked away on another super secret campaign?”
Uh-oh. Here we go.
“No,” I emphatically denied, trying to quickly placate her. “She’s really just here for a tune-up and to help with paperwork, that’s all.”
“Alright,” she nodded slowly, taking a look around the table. “And this? This isn’t some sort of bribe to butter me up before you disappear on the next big campaign, is it?”
“No!” I defensively countered. “I’m trying to make up for lost time, that’s all. Besides, it’s not like I had any warning with any of the operations I was dragged into.”
“You keep saying that,” she stated flatly, her tone suggesting that she didn’t believe me.
I suppressed an aggrieved sigh and prayed we weren’t about to get into another argument yet again. In hindsight, I probably should have let it go, ignored the implied barb, and just moved on. Tried to keep things moving. But I couldn’t get it out of my idiot head that I could still fix this. “I keep saying it because it’s true. And I’m really, really sorry I was gone for so long. I wasn’t happy about it either, I missed you, desperately while I was away.”
“But not so much you couldn’t take so much as a weekend off to stop by?” she sneered, the old bitterness creeping back into her voice.
“There’s kind of a war on,” I growled. “It’s not like I can just take a vacation in the middle of a major military operation.”
Her frustration grew as we both rapidly reached our boiling point. “What, and nobody out there can take your place? Even for a few days?”
“Not in the middle of a major military operation!” I declared. “I won’t risk it!”
“Why?” Kelly incredulously cried out. “Is this some sort of ego thing, Bill? Only you can win the Siren War?”
“Because I’ve seen what happens if we lose!” I yell, startling both Kelly and myself with the volume. I looked around, grateful for the private room as I ran a shaky hand through my hair before turning back to Kelly. I leaned in close, keeping my voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve…seen things. Alternate timelines, dimensions, universes, whatever you want to call it. None of them end well. For anyone. So I’m going to fight like hell to save this one. And if it means we don’t get to be together for a few months, or even a year, then so be it. Because I would rather sacrifice that time now to be with you later rather than spend time now and watch everything burn.”
Kelly’s brown eyes bored into mine, seeking the truth from me. Eventually, she leaned back with a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. “You know you sound like a lunatic when you say stuff like that, right?”
“I know.”
“And yet you insist on saying it.”
“It’s the truth.”
“But it isn’t the whole truth, is it?”
I winced inwardly before I begrudgingly nodded. “It’s not.”
“Goddammit,” she spat, fixing me with an angry glare. “Why can’t you be straight with me sometimes?”
“You know why,” I shot back. “Operational security. I can’t tell you a lot of things about my job. I’m not happy about it either, but this is something we both knew would happen when we got together.”
“That was before you changed.”
The accusation was like a slap to the face. “W-what are you talking about?” I stammered, caught off-guard.
“When you came back after Operation Siren, you were different,” she began, looking down at the table. “Haunted. Like you’d seen a ghost. Or maybe you’re still seeing them. But every time I try to ask what happened, you shut me out. Tell me it’s classified. I’m scared, Bill. I’m scared that the next time you go away when you come back, I won’t recognize you at all.”
The anger that had been flooding my system just moments before had evaporated, replaced by sympathy and sorrow. “I’m…I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I..I tried to be me, tried to get back on track, the way things used to be.”
“I know you did,” Kelly sniffled, dabbing at her eyes with her napkin. “I just...I can’t take not knowing what’s going on with you.” She took a deep breath and then lifted her head up to meet my gaze. “I’m not asking you for a decision now, because that’s not fair, but over the next few days, you have to make a choice. I need you to tell me what the hell is going on, or I need you to cut me loose because I can’t live like this anymore.”
I sat there, dumbfounded, in an impossible situation. I couldn’t tell her about what happened in the Arcana Sanctum, but I didn’t want to lose her, either. Seizing my hesitation, she announced, “I’m just going to go. Call me with you’re answer when you’re ready. Bye, Bill.”
I could only numbly nod to her as she got up and left.
Kelly’s ultimatum haunted me from the restaurant, the long drive back to the base, and all the way to my doorstep. When I realized I would get no rest for a while, I headed into my kitchen, grabbed a bottle from the liquor cabinet, and took off down the road that led to the beach.
As expected, the shore was dark, quiet, and uninhabited, illuminated only by the silvery light of the moon. I found a nice patch of sand under a couple of palm trees, took off my jacket, loosened my tie, sat down, and unscrewed the bottle. It was my favorite, apple brandy, and I took a whiff from the top, savoring the slightly sweet aroma before taking a big swig. I felt it burn its way down my throat as I pondered my options, and again, I was faced with a dilemma that I could not resolve. After a few minutes of thinking and agonizing, I took another drink. And when that one didn’t work, I took another. And another and another and another until I heard someone calling out my name.
“Commander! Billy! Are you out here?” I blearily stared out at the white and blue blur that was slowly coming into focus.
“New Jersey?” I called out, “Izzat you? What’re you doin’ out here?”
“You tell me!” she called back as she quickened her step. “I got a call from you and you weren’t speaking. I’m starting to think you butt-dialed me, though…”
I shoved the bottle of brandy into the sand so it wouldn’t tip over and pulled my phone from my back pocket. Sure enough, there was a ten-minute and counting call with New Jersey. I held it up to my ear and said, “Hey, sorry, NJ. Gotta go, NJ is coming. Bye.” I hung up the phone and slipped it into my shirt pocket to avoid accidentally anyone else. “As an ‘pology for making you come all the way out here, at least let me offer you a drink.”
“You okay, Billy?” the battleship asked as I dug the bottle out of the sand and held it aloft to her. “Did the date with Kelly goooooooooh, boy.” Her tone immediately shifted to one of immediate concern when she saw how much liquid had already vacated the bottle. “Billy, how much was in the bottle when you started?”
“Tip-top!” I drunkenly declared. “I needed to think so I had a drink to help. But it didn’t. So I had another drink. Nothin’. So I kept drinkin’ to help with the thinkin’ and I don’t think it’s helped one bit. Still. Should probably try one more time just to make sure…”
“Nononono,” New Jersey swiftly sprung into action, relieving me of the bottle before I could bring it back to my lips. “I think we’ve done all the thinking we’re gonna do tonight. We should probably get you back home. Can you stand?”
“Course I can!” I haughtily declared before swiftly hopping up to my feet. “Now, if you could please stop spinning so damn much I’d appreciate it.” And with that, I began an immediate and sharp list to starboard.
Fortunately, NJ was there to catch me, draping my arm over her shoulder. “Whoa, easy there, Commander! I think you’re gonna need an escort on this one. Think you can navigate for me?”
“Give me a stopwatch and a map, and I'll fly the Alps in a plane with no windows.” I snicker-snorted at the quote, then I caught the confused look on New Jersey’s face. “Right, you haven’t seen that movie. Ooh! We could watch it when we get back home!”
“And why don’t you tell me how we get there, Commander,” she replied, guiding me back on track.
“Oh, it’s just up the little path,” I pointed in the general…ish…direction of where we needed to go. “Just follow the sidewalk, last house on the block.” As New Jersey took the first step, I froze up, halting us both. “Wait! Waitwaitwait.”
“What? What is it?” The battleship looked around frantically, as if she were about to step on a landmine.
“I don’t want anyone to see me drunk like this,” I confessed. “I don’t want them to think less of me.”
“I don’t think less of you right now,” she said softly.
I waggled my hand about in an approximation of a dismissive wave. I think. “You’ve seen me in way worse positions than this..” I chuckled to myself. “‘member the incident with the clown, the lasagna, and that vat of degreaser?”
“Oh my god, I’d almost forgotten,” she giggled. “You looked like an idiot.”
“I was an idiot,” I drunken confirmed. “I think I’ve gotten smarter over the years. …except for right now.”
“From what everyone’s told me, tonight notwithstanding, you’re a damn fine Commander.”
“Which is why they can’t see me like this!” I blurted out, then gasped as an “idea” hit me. “We should switch jackets! That way people will think you’re me and I’m you!”
“Billy,” she began slowly, “I don’t think that’s gonna work for quite a few reasons…”
“Ooh, right,” I nodded eagerly, then quickly stopped when everything started spinning again. “So we’ll change outfits, and I’ll get a couple of coconuts and stuff ‘em down my shirt.” I then stared at New Jersey’s bountiful bosom before amending the size. “No no… cantaloupes? Honeydew?”
To her eternal credit and good grace, she simply laughed and shook her head. “Oh, this is going to be a priceless conversation for tomorrow…”
A/N-And we’re back! Things are off to a great start! What’s the worst that could happen? Until next time, fair winds and following seas!