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Taking Sirius with him to the Lower Alleys was getting progressively more unappealing the closer they got to Kyprioth Court. Was this how Harry had felt when he had pressured her into tagging along to the duelling tournament last year? He repressed a grimace, suddenly feeling an ironic kinship with his niece.
The problem wasn’t that Sirius stood out amongst the crowd in Knockturn Alley. He was a social chameleon adept at blending in anywhere and everywhere - a skill that had been useful during his teenage years (spent avoiding his parents) in the muggle world and the shady underbelly of Wizarding Britain. He was certainly more inconspicuous than James would have been and, after all, Regulus Black also frequented the Alleys, so another Black brother coming to visit wasn’t really an issue.
The true reason for Remus’ reluctance and growing sense of unease was something he refused to acknowledge to himself even in the darkest hours of the night. It definitely didn’t have anything to do with the copper-haired beauty that had become a steady fixture in his days spent in the Alleys and had slowly begun creeping her way into his everyday life through visits to his flat and the muggle theatre.
Remus wasn’t dreading the upcoming meeting between Rispah and Sirius at all. There was, in his opinion, no reason to fear that the two of them might get on and that Rispah may turn her attention from his shabby old self to his much more handsome friend. He was not jealous of Sirius’ easy charm and good looks, never had been. After all, he had frequently fallen victim to both since his earliest teenage years.
But the idea that Rispah, whom he had so far had for himself, might turn away from him, smarted. Though only in a purely platonic way, of course. Why then did he feel the same queasiness when contemplating the notion that Sirius may, after all these years, start a new relationship and spend less time with him?
Alas, a person’s feelings worked in mysterious ways…
-
Sirius eagerly took in the Dancing Phoenix. The inn was exceptionally loud and cheerful for lunchtime on a weekday. While the cleanliness might not be exactly house-elf standard, it was still miles better than the Hog’s Head (Sirius suspected old Aberforth just didn’t know one end of a broom from the other).
Remus doled out friendly smiles and small waves as he expertly weaved through the tables, a clear destination in mind. Sirius followed on his heels, making note of the people they passed, their bodies and faces visibly worn by hard work and lean times. There was less visible magic present than expected, but he remembered what Remus had said about the high percentage of Squibs in the Alleys.
When he had bullied politely badgered Remus into letting him accompany him, he had seen the conflict in his friend’s eyes. He had briefly considered that it was because of his own admittedly occasionally overbearing personality, but quickly dismissed that preposterous notion. When Sirius Black met Rispah Cooper for the first time, he finally understood. He understood much more than Remus did, apparently, because when his and Rispah’s eyes met for the first time, a spark of recognition passed between them.
Recognition that they both wanted this unsuspecting, repressed clod that had brought them together. Recognition and exasperation that it was a fool’s errand to get Remus to see what was right before his nose, no matter the tactics employed. Recognition that maybe, just maybe, it would finally work if they joined forces.
Rispah, clad in crimson robes so scandalous they were barely fit for the public, leaned forward to extend a hand to him, her lids half lowered and a generous amount of cleavage on display. Coincidentally, that same motion let her lean into Remus too, but his friend was too busy watching him to notice, the oblivious fool.
Sirius put on his absolutely best charming smile, before taking her hand and lightly kissing the offered knuckles. That smile was the reason mothers had warned their daughters to steer clear of Arcturus Black back in Rigel’s first year.
“Had I known Remus was keeping such a gem like you to himself, I would have followed him here much sooner,” he drawled, letting go of Rispah’s hand with exaggerated slowness. Her full mouth twisted into something that might have been called a smirk on another woman, her cheeks lightly dusted with a fetching rosy blush.
“Had I known Remus had friends like you, I would have sought you out myself” she replied, voice low and husky.
She rearranged herself to better show off, half draped over the poor sod next to her. Sirius almost laughed at his friend’s expression. Remus, who was always so controlled, so repressed, looked like he regretted ever telling Sirius about the Alleys. His customary mild smile was so strained that his left eye was starting to twitch, a sure sign his nerves were moments from giving out; not that Sirius could fault him - he and Rispah were putting on a spectacle entirely for his benefit (not that he appreciated it).
Sirius lowered himself into his seat and rested his head on his hand, bare forearm strategically exposed, elbow propped on the table (Diana had always admired his long-fingered hands and defined forearms). He let his heavy-lidded gaze drink in Rispah’s form appreciatively, before directing the same look at Remus, who looked like he wished someone would vanish him into non-being.
Rispah followed his lead and turned her head to Remus, purring into his ear, “Darling, why didn't you tell me you had such interesting friends? We could've had so much fun together,” and stroking his arm. To Sirius’ great delight, his eternally composed friend looked so flustered and distressed by the attention, that Sirius momentarily feared he would spontaneously apparate away in a bout of accidental magic.
The flaming blush on his cheeks was such a nostalgic sight, Sirius was momentarily transported back to their Hogwarts days, back when he had taken great pleasure in the fact that Remus couldn’t stand the sight of a shirtless teenage Sirius without turning a shade of red to rival Lily’s hair.
Fortunately for Remus, his salvation came in the form of a curly-haired child that started insistently tugging on the sleeve not currently occupied by Rispah's gentle torture.
The look of relief on his face was clear for all to see, when he turned to the boy. Sirius assumed it was one of his students.
“Master Remus, Jack won’t believe me when I say jinxes ain’t no different from hexes!” His eyes shone with animation. “Please, come with me and tell him I’m right, sir!” the kid prattled at lightning speed, almost tugging Remus out of his chair.
“Well, actually…” Remus started, letting himself be dragged away from their table almost too easily. The strain around his eyes had melted into fondness, but he still shot one apprehensive look over his shoulder.
Sirius waved him away cheerily, calling, “Don’t worry Moony, go sort out your little academic dispute!” He smirked. “Take all the time you need, I’m in excellent company!”
The grimace on Remus’ face before he was out of earshot caused Sirius and his lovely companion to break into peals of laughter.
Rispah took a moment to order three mugs of ale from a passing kitchen lad, before turning her attention onto him again. Sirius felt himself unconsciously preen under her gaze and for the first time in a long while, her obvious attraction to him awakened a genuine interest in him rather than just the usual stirrings of guilt followed by a quick dismissal.
“Remus is awfully prudish for someone so handsome.” Despite her words, Rispah sounded awfully fond. “I’ve rarely met a man so disinclined to flirting as him,” she confided, keeping her voice low even though the object of her frustration had no chance of hearing her over the crowd.
“Oh, you don’t know the half of it. Many years ago, when we were much younger and more adventurous, my late wife and I tried to invite him to our bed. We prepared the most romantic dinner you could imagine – floating fairies, siren song and all – and did our best to make our intentions clear without outright spelling it out. It disturbed Remus so much he wouldn’t look either of us in the eye for more than a month! Suffice to say, we never tried again after that disaster,” Sirius confided, ignoring the painful twinge at speaking about Diana so casually.
Rispah gracefully ignored his stumble and laughed heartily at the anecdote, slapping her knee. “After his reaction just now, I would say that the subtle approach is completely wasted on Remus – if this indeed can be called subtle.”
“Right you are, oh loveliest of ladies, though I can’t imagine he would react well if we told him upfront of our intentions. I wouldn’t put it past him to leave the continent entirely in a moment of panic; change his name too, for good measure,” Sirius mused, his accomplice humming in agreement.
“I think this situation calls for more drastic measures – we need a carefully crafted action plan if we want mission ‘Romancing Remus’ to succeed. It seems as though, despite our ease in matters such as this, our dear Mister Lupin is ever so vexingly immune to our usual charms,” she stated and despite her bleak assessment of the state of things, there was a definite gleam of anticipation in her eyes.
Sirius felt himself grin widely at the prospect of this new project. “Rispah, my darling treasure, I think you’re onto something!”
When the same kitchen lad from before placed their drinks on the table, Sirius grabbed his, lifting it for a toast, Rispah mirroring him at the same moment.
“To success!” they chorused. This would be great fun, Sirius was sure of it.
As their eyes found Remus across the crowd, they found him already staring back at them suspiciously. With a mocking wink, Sirius raised his mug in his direction. Not to be outdone, Rispah sent him a kiss and a look hot enough to melt the clothes off his body right there in the middle of the crowded inn.
The colour deserted Remus’ face so rapidly that Sirius’ best colour-changing spell couldn’t have produced such results.