Chapter Text
I sit in the corner, out of view of everyone in one of the many alcoves in my sisters new home and slurp unattractively at the cocktail in my hand. It's named after my sister and it's delicious, I hate it.
I've got my legs crossed to appear more ladylike but the scowl on my face is clearly counteracting it as many of the guests shuffle past me anxiously on their way to the toilet like I'm prone to biting like a savage dog. They're not entirely wrong.
Why was I even at this party? What was I supposed to be celebrating exactly? Everyone must assume I'm just a stone cold bitch for looking so miserable at my twin sisters engagement party but they could think what they like. I'm done caring.
I lean back against the cream wall and feel the chill on my exposed shoulders. I'd wore a deep red spaghetti strap dress that was fused to my body and made the scars of my youth visible. I've always been the scrappier sister, must be why I'm the only single one too. I knock back the rest of my cocktail and set the empty glass on the bench I'm seated on.
Now what? My plan was to get drunk, congratulate Taryn and then go home but for some reason I'm still here, hiding. Possibly because I am scared that the other guests will notice my quick exit and then Madoc and Oriana will be furious at me.
Just as I'm about to chance their wrath and get out of here Vivi, my oldest sister turns the corner and startles at seeing me as if she's been looking for me for a while.
"There you are! What are you doing back here?" She asks and lifts my empty glass and sets it on the floor by her feet so she can sit down, wiggling her toes in her open toe heels.
"Getting drunk." I tell her, simply. Vivi wouldn't judge. She thinks the whole thing is a farce but would never say it to Taryns face.
"Really? I would guess you're avoiding everyone back here. Which isn't necessarily unusual for you but if it's out of fear then that's not the Jude we know and love." She elbows me with a soft smile and I give her a look.
"Very few people here love me Vivi, let's be real. Even Taryn holds some contempt toward me, for obvious reasons but still." I remind her but she just sighs wearily. I nearly jump when she sets her warm hand over mine.
"I know this isn't easy Jude, if anything you're incredibly brave for even being here at all but you're scaring people off. I've caught quite a few people crossing their legs as if they're avoiding the toilet." She nods towards the toilet door not far from where I'm seated but that just makes my scowl worse.
"Do you want another drink?" She questions and I sit forward a little.
"Sure, but I can get it myself. I'm not that useless." I get to my feet and steady myself on my heels. Im not yet drunk despite my efforts but I haven't worn heels in a while.
"Jude, just- I feel like I have to warn you but-"
"Vivi, I'm fine. It's alright." I wave her off. Even if some of the guests here are people I haven't seen in years I can handle them. I can make small talk, I think.
"Yes, but Jude-" I don't hear whatever she's going to say, pushing my way through people to get to the free cocktail bar that must've cost Madoc a fortune to hire that's set up in my sisters living room.
I stand out like a sore thumb in here. A blaring red beacon in amongst a sea of pastels and white furniture. Flowery dresses and wistful smiles. I didn't get the memo about the dress code it seems but then I'd barely spoken to my sister since she announced her engagement. When I settle at the bar and order my drink the bartender nods absentmindedly and begins to make it.
I smile at some guests around me but I imagine it's tight and disingenuous. They shuffle away from me. Although someone clearly hasn't seen my face yet and shifts up beside me and leans over the bar.
"Wine, red please." He asks and I go deathly still. It couldn't be, it wouldn't. I can't even turn in his direction to check and instead lower my head to hide my face behind my hair.
"There's a signature cocktail, after the bride to be. The Taryn." The bartender tells him and I hear him huff out a laugh.
"Yeah I think I'll pass on that, thanks."
I don't even want the drink anymore, I've decided I'm leaving this godforsaken party immediately and shuffle to the left a little trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.
He turns around and leans back against the bar while he waits, looking in the same direction I am over the party and I know it's now or never. Just need to squeeze through-
"Jude." He says lowly by way of greeting, dragging out my name like he can sense me shifting away and won't be deterred or ignored. I think very seriously about causing some kind of distraction elsewhere in the room so I can slip away. Maybe I'll throw a glass at the back wall and make a run for it? Set fire to the table cloth covering the makeshift bar?
Scratch that, I have a better idea, not a good one but one that might prevent serious injury.
He seems like he's just arrived. Or at least, I haven't seen him at all until now and he was usually the type of person that people noticed immediately. My sister didn't appear to be in this room at the minute either. Maybe she and Locke had snuck off somewhere? I raise my head and turn towards him, my face shifting into what I hope is innocent surprise and amusement.
When my eyes fall on the side of his face the corner of his plump lips pull up just slightly. His raven black hair is as tousled and silky as I remember, maybe more so, and match his long eyelashes. He's taller than he was when we were teenagers, built a little leaner which is only accentuated by the fit of his black suit and thin tie. I'm not prepared for how devastatingly handsome just his side profile would be. He is both familiar and unfamiliar to me. Adult Cardan Greenbriar is gorgeous.
"Oh, Cardan," I laugh as sweetly as possible which even I must admit sounds a little stiff "I'm Taryn. Jude is sulking by the toilets." Even though he can't see me I casually roll my eyes like typical Jude huh?
He turns his head towards me then and looks me over in my dress. He blinks once, those dark eyes of his with the lighter rim as captivating as always before they meet my face.
"Ah, I apologise. It's been a while since I've seen you both." He admits with a suave smile and my skin prickles at his nearness. I should hate him, I do hate him, but I also can't deny that I've always found him very pleasing to look at indeed.
"In that case, congratulations on the engagement." He offers although it feels insincere somehow. There's a flash of something in his eyes that tells me he's as thrilled to be here as I am.
"Your drink, Miss." the bartender catches my attention, holding out the fruity monstrosity towards me and I take it in one shaking hand. He also hands Cardan his wine. Some things never change I suppose.
"Well, I should really go and speak to more guests and find Locke, wherever he is. Thank you for coming." I push off the bar and nearly trip over my own feet in my rush to get away from him. I think I'm safe until I feel his free hand dart out and grip mine, tugging me back into him until my back is against his chest.
I suck in a breath, my cocktail sloshing in the glass and he wraps the arm that's holding his wine glass over me so there's no escape. What the hell is he doing?
"Cardan-"
"One second." He breathes against my ear and uses his free hand to drag the thin strap of my dress back up onto my shoulder that I hadn't noticed had fallen down slowly, sensually, as if we're used to touching each other.
"You can't seriously think I'm not able to tell you both apart, Jude. I'd know you anywhere." I can hear the smile in his voice.
"I'd know you blind."
The jig is up and I've been dying to do this. I step on his foot, hard, with my heel. He flinches and unwraps his arm from me and I spin to face him, ignoring the goosebumps on my arms and let him see every ounce of contempt I have for him now that I know I'm not going to be able to escape unscathed.
"Touch me again and I'll throw this in your face." I raise the drink I'm holding and he raises a hand like he means no harm but his smile is wide and boisterous, his dark eyes glittering in amusement.
"There she is, finally. I thought you might slap me to begin with so I'm a little disappointed at such a mild threat." He tells me, looking immensely pleased and the others around us at the bar give us a wide berth, sensing and likely hearing the animosity.
"One of my hands is still free." I wiggle it at him with a cruel smile and he takes a drink from his glass, the liquid staining his lips rouge till he swipes it away with his tongue and takes me in properly. His gaze from head to toe and back again makes me feel immediately overstimulated.
"Come on Jude, you know that excites me." The smirk never leaves his face. God this fucking guy. I thought I'd rid myself of him for good after high school. I'd barely thought about him at all since and now he was in my sisters living room all grown up yet arrogant as ever.
"I couldn't care less what excites you. What the hell are you doing here?" How dare he make this already impossible situation completely unbearable?
"I was invited, shockingly. By Locke rather than Taryn. I believe he invited all of his old friends although thankfully Nicasia has chosen not to show." He explains but his voice is tight like the situation still bothers him despite it being years ago. It hurts for a millisecond that he still cares about that before I stuff it down.
And Locke, what was he playing at? Did he actually want today to descend into chaos? Most likely.
"A blessing really, what a messed up little love square that would make." I mutter and take a drink of my cocktail to calm my nerves. It's not until I've said it that I realise I may have drank quite enough of these. Cardans flawless eyebrows pull together.
"Square?" He cocks his head to the side and studies my face. My eyes go wide and I nearly choke as the alcohol goes down but manage to get my bearings in time.
"Nevermind, it's unimportant." I wave him off.
"Anyway," I rush ahead before he can comment "I'd say it was nice seeing you again but we both know that would be a lie Greenbriar. Don't let Madoc see you." I tip my glass at him as if to be mature about the whole thing and then top it off with a mocking, tight lipped smile when a drop of it hits the tip of his polished shoe. He watches its descent and blinks at the minuscule splash.
His low chuckle grates on me even after I've turned away and pushed my way back through the crowd. People are a blur of pastel and smiles as I shoulder past them. I'm ignoring the looks and tuts being sent my way at my behaviour like I've been doing all night because I need a second to breathe. This house is suddenly stifling and my breathing is ragged.
Downing the entire glass in my hand, i slam it on the closest available surface before I bolt around a corner into one of the empty hallways in my sisters home. I'm practically sprinting along the hallway until I have to stop when I'm near hyperventilating.
I lean against one of the pristine walls and press a hand to my chest, feeling my rapid heartbeat, the large breaths of air being sucked in and out of my lungs. I was the strong one, I could withstand anything, I had to get it together before someone found me here panicking over Cardan fucking Greenbriar.
What was Locke thinking inviting him here? Did he do that on purpose to mess with me? And had Cardan accepted the invite because he knew I'd be here? He had never been able to stand Taryn and the whole situation with Nicasia had soured his friendship with Locke years ago. Why else would he agree to come here?
God how dare he? After everything that happened. After I moved on like he wanted me to and managed to forget all about him he storms back in here with his easy smiles and jokes like he didn't completely shatter my heart into a thousand pieces.
I hear someone coming just then in my panic. Shuffling along the hallway behind me where I've managed to tuck myself into an alcove beside one of the bedroom doors and I quickly straighten out my dress and fix my hair knowing it's likely Taryn going to get something from one of the rooms.
I put on my best smile, which if you know me means that it's everyone else's most insincere smile and step out of the alcove just as Locke is approaching it. We bump directly into each other, my face against his white shirt causing a very faint red smudge and I stagger back, he takes me by the shoulders to straighten me but I shrug him off.
He doesn't look at all surprised to have found me through here
"Locke," I'm still breathless from before but I ensure the look on my face conveys that I'm anything but happy to see him either, my taste in men is trash "what are you doing back here?"
His warm eyes look me over and he fixes a lock of his auburn hair that had been expertly styled this morning and was now looking slightly more rugged. He's very handsome, my sisters fiancé, not many people would say he isn't but there is something inherently wrong with him. Nevertheless he smiles down at me like I'm his favourite person.
"Looking for you Jude, we haven't really had an opportunity to talk today." His voice is inviting, trust me it says, love me.
"That's not a coincidence. I've been avoiding you for obvious reasons. It's best if we stay as far away as possible from each other." I bite out. There's no kindness behind it, he doesn't deserve my kindness. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness or Taryn but I couldn't help that last one.
His features soften like that pains him to hear, he reaches a hand out and dusts his fingertips along my forearm
"Jude, don't be like that, it was all very complicated. I did have feelings for you, I still have feelings for you only my feelings for Taryn are-" I'm pulling away from him, slapping his hand off of my skin.
"Don't. Locke don't you dare say that, any of it. You wanted Taryn more and you got her okay? But I swear if you do to her what you did to me I'll-"
"Am I interrupting something here?" Another voice from behind Locke makes us both jump and he turns allowing me to see who stands behind him. Cardan. Of course.
Both of these assholes had followed me through the house.
"Oh well look at this, it's bad decision lane." I curse myself and Cardan slips his hands into his pant pockets and leans against the wall, viewing us suspiciously. He's all dark features and light skin compared to this house which is so obnoxiously white it feels like a mental institution. Really I should fit right in here, you'd think.
"Cardan, I was just talking to Jude about something. The bathrooms are back that way." Locke nods along the corridor leading to the staircase and main room but Cardan merely scowls at him.
"I'm not looking for the bathroom. I'm wondering why you're following Jude into isolated hallways at your engagement party." Christ, he'd been here all of five minutes and he was already picking a fight with Locke. I hope the red head sincerely regrets his choices about now. He does seem to look exasperated at being questioned about it.
"Look, Greenbriar, I invited you here as an olive branch and I know that you and Jude have history but it's really not your problem what we're doing." A muscle in Lockes jaw jumps and Cardan seems to stiffen, just slightly, at the mention of our past. He recovers quickly though.
"So you're doing something, then?" Cardan asks pointedly, catching him out before shaking his head briefly.
"Taryn's looking for you. Something about how Madoc wants to discuss the bachelor party arrangements with you." There's a glimmer then, a flicker of worry in the lines of Lockes face. His head tilts in my direction as if to resume our disagreement before he decides against it and sighs.
"Jude, we need to talk about some stuff so I'll call you, okay?" He tells me before he turns away from me to march past Cardan back along the hallway.
"Please don't!" I yell after him pointedly and hope he loses my number. I want nothing more to do with him.
Cardan stays where he is for the minute.
"Your lipstick is smudged." The scowl on his face that he'd been casting vehemently at Locke now zeros in on me. I reach up and wipe just under my bottom lip.
"It's not what it looks like, I'm not- Locke and I aren't involved like that." The truth, at this time. Although not the case a few months ago. Not that I want to tell Cardan that but he wasn't an idiot, he could fit it together.
"Really, How exactly did he hurt you then? Isn't that what you were warning him not to do, to hurt your sister like he hurt you?" Before he had been so calm, arrogant but that wasn't unlike him. Now he was... well furious. I can feel the rage radiating off of him even from this distance in the downward curve of his mouth and his tight muscles.
"Did you follow me back here?" I ask him suspiciously, trying to redirect the conversation away from things Cardan and I shouldn't discuss. I never thought I'd talk to him about anything ever again nevermind this. This was too much.
"I followed Locke back here because I caught him slinking away after you. I knew whatever it was he wanted likely wasn't good." He shrugs then but looks no less angry. He stands up straighter like he wants to look me in the eye properly before he continues. Opens his mouth once before deciding against whatever he was going to say.
"Jude," he begins, his voice softening yet still retaining an edge of distain and possibly worry "it sounded like there was something going on between you two. I know you, or I knew you I should say so I don't want to jump to conclusions but-"
"We are not having an affair." I cut him off and state plainly before he destroys what relationship I have left with my family by running his mouth. My hands ball into fists by my sides "He's Taryn's fiance, I would never do that. But we did used to be in a relationship of sorts," when I say this he closes his eyes gently like he can't bear it. His head lowers for a second before he lifts it back up and stalks towards me.
"You and Locke? Jude what the hell were you thinking?" He asks when he's standing in front of me. This close his eyes are soft like his anger was never directed at me.
"You know he likes to play games, you know what kind of man he is." He shakes his head and I could stagger back from him because he really feels like he's in a position to comment on Locke when he is twice as bad.
"I wasn't thinking, clearly. And really you have no right to judge either of us considering the way you treated me," I jab a finger at his chest and he blinks at being called out so directly "when you're the one who done the most damage."
He reaches a hand towards me but looks dumbfounded as if he can't believe I'm being so bold.
"We were teenagers Jude, I was an idiot. I didn't know how to handle it." His voice is quiet and shameful, I've never heard it sound like this but I decide that time has just allowed him to get better at lying.
"You handled it just fine with Nicasia until she decided she didn't want you anymore." It's an awful thing to say, to remind him of her betrayal but part of me was still bitter about it too. The only reason he'd even looked at me was because Nicasia had decided she preferred Locke.
Cardan is silent, examining my face before he gives me a look that could almost be disappointment. I expected it to hurt him but I never expected it to make me feel so shitty, that look on his face like he knew I was better than this. Screw him.
"Is that what happened with Locke?" He asks after a deep breath. His dark eyes are thoughtful, still tinged with pain and his voice isn't unkind but nonetheless it stings because yes, that is what happened with Locke. We were together until he decided between the two identical women and I was found to be the least desirable, and to think I hadn't even known I'd been competing with my carbon copy. I flinch.
Instead of saying anything i shoulder him out of my way and march back along the corridor. I'm getting out of here, right now. I refuse to stay in this house with him another second. I refuse to fall back into the pattern of feeling inadequate about myself because of Cardan Greenbriar and his fleeting affections. Because that's all he's ever been capable of.
The universe has it out for me today. Or this year it seems as escaping this hellish party proves to be impossible when Madoc stands in the middle of the packed living room and calls my name. I turn, inches away from the back door and realise that he's in the middle of giving a speech of some kind.
To my right I see Cardan, all black and sleek like a cat sneak back into the crowd of people unnoticed. My eyes are wide as I look out across the members of Locke and Taryns close friends and family.
"And Jude, my youngest girl." Madoc gestures to me and I put on a prim smile like a perfect daughter would despite me being anything but. However, I'm so unsettled that I wonder if I can make a break for it anyway without embarrassing him too much. I love Madoc, truly I do in my own way even if he's my step father but we didn't always see eye to eye on things.
"Those of you who are close to the family know she's had her ups and downs lately but our Jude is as strong as they come." Madoc is way too many drinks down. I'm surprised his eyes aren't blinking at different times but he does look incredibly proud of me even if the last few months I essentially blew up my life.
Oriana takes his arm in an attempt to get him to shut up and not accidentally spill our family secrets to the whole room but he's on a roll.
"You and Taryn could not be more different but I love you both anyway. Taryn, I hope your future husband knows what a prize he has with you and Jude, you've always followed your own path. Some people are better being single." He nods at the end of that and raises his glass. Oriana near enough yanks him into the crowd and a few people giggle in my direction, whispers running around the room. How many of them know?
I know what Madoc was trying to say, that i don't need a man, that I can be great and do great things on my own but my face immediately goes cherry red because maybe he's right. Maybe some people were meant to be alone, Taryn was built for a husband. It's a nasty thought, and I hate the comparison but Taryn was a Jackie and I was a Marilyn.
I'm near tears when I rip the back door open and rush out into the yard. I'll call a cab from the street and this whole nightmare can be forgotten about until the wedding.
Who cares if the people in there think I'm not enough? If I'm unsociable and unlovable? That's the reputation I intended to build for myself, wasn't it? I've succeeded in assuring people that my resting bitch face isn't just for show. That I really am just venomous.
I cry silently while I run around the house and out to the street, digging my phone from my bra and order a cab. Nobody else is out here, the street is dead considering how far apart the houses were in this neighbourhood and I mop at my cheek with my thumb. Madoc thought I was strong, how wrong he is.
"Jude?" A gentle voice sounds from behind me, so much like my own and I quickly wipe at my face and take a deep breath before I turn to face her.
My twin sister is in a flowing pink summer dress that billows in the wind. Her brown hair is up in a sensible bun that allows some wisps of hair to flow around her face and her cheeks are pink with colour. She looks virginal, completely innocent standing there, barefoot no less in the grass and peering at me with a hand up to shield her eyes from the sun. I, on the other hand, look like a harlot in deep red.
"You're leaving?" She asks when I don't say anything and I turn back towards the road for a second before I face her again.
"We both know you didn't really want me to turn up Taryn." I croak out and she drops her hand, folding her arms in front of her.
"Well yes but now I have to explain why my own sister ditched my engagement party early. Is it because of Locke?" She bites out and I set my hands on my hips. I should back down, I know I should but it's not in my nature usually and especially not with Taryn. We'd fought each other our whole lives.
"No, Taryn. Not everything is about you and your fiance. He's yours, you can stop worrying that I'm going to steal him away at any moment." I wave my hand at her like stealing a persons fiance is incredibly easy but this doesn't seem to settle her.
"You're not even bringing a date to the wedding. What do you expect me to think? You're the only bridesmaid without a date." She accuses me and before I can tell her that I've chosen to be alone, mostly, that maybe it's better for me to be alone and that attending a wedding without a date is not a big deal someone speaks for me.
"She's going with me, actually." I can't see him as he makes his way around the house but I don't need to be able to see him. Taryn whips her head towards the voice and I want to pick up a rock and ready it for his arrival so I can knock him out as he turns the corner. Would this guy just fucking let up already? The second i'd came into contact with him he had made it his mission not to let me out of his damn sight for some reason.
"Cardan," she breathes when he comes into view and looks at us both here on the other side of my sisters fence "you- what? I thought you both hated each other?" Surprisingly, I'm with you on this one Taryn. I narrow my eyes at him but he only smiles.
"Teenage spat." He waves like the problem between us drifts away on the wind in front of him "We reconnected over the last few weeks. Weren't sure whether it was going to be anything and since I'm invited to the wedding anyway we figured it wouldn't make much difference." Excuse me? He was pretending that we were a couple? Or at the very least each others date?
"Have you lost your mind?" I ask him and his eyes shift between my sister and I
"It was going to get out at some point Jude, right? And I couldn't sit there for another minute and listen to Madoc go on about how single you were to a room full of people." His jaw works then and while this could very well be a problem for someone's boyfriend we absolutely were not dating. Fake or otherwise. Although, the way he looks at me over Taryn's shoulder makes it seem like he's trying to communicate something to me.
"But you two-" Taryn begins and Cardan moves around her till he's by my side and wraps an arm around my waist
"I better make sure this one gets home safe, you should head back inside before your guests begin to wonder where you are Taryn. Brilliant party." He interrupts her and my back is rigid against his forearm. I can't decide if I want to break it or push back against it a little.
Taryn looks Cardan over, perhaps apprehensively, for a second before her eyes fall back on me.
"We're going to talk about this, among other things Jude." She motions between Cardan and I and I simply nod because she was about to give me another one of her 'why can't you just be different?' Lectures and somehow Cardan had stopped her in her tracks.
Gently she goes back inside, her footsteps light like a fairy and we watch her until she disappears into the house. When she's gone I jab Cardan in the ribs with my elbow, he lets out an 'oof' sound before he backs away from me.
"What the fuck was that for?" He asks and I grab him by his shirt sleeve till we're around the side of a large bush and let go.
"Why the hell are you telling my family we're together?" Part of me wants to truly fight him right now, fists and all but he was never much of a fighter. His dark eyes narrow at me and he runs a hand through his hair, he's wearing at least three gold rings.
"Because Locke is harassing you in hallways, your dad is making drunken speeches about your boyfriend fucking your sister, marrying her and how you're destined to be a spinster and Taryn is insinuating that you can't get a date!" He raises his arms like it's all perfectly obvious why he's doing this but when he puts all of these things together I'm dreadfully embarrassed. All of my little paper cuts rolled together.
"I don't need a date Cardan, regardless of what my family think and it certainly would never be you if I did need one." I snap at him and he takes a step back. He looks irritated for a moment before he stuffs his hands into his pockets.
"I'm not saying you need a date, I'm saying wouldn't it be nice to throw it back in Locke's face that one, you don't care about this sham of a marriage and two, you've moved on with someone he's always considered competition." He shakes his head
"would it not be worth rubbing it in Taryn and Madoc's face that you can do the girl boss shit and also have a guy?" He shrugs, and while I am exactly that petty I'm not going down this road. I'm not getting involved with Cardan Greenbriar again, never.
"No! Cardan, none of those things are worth being within ten feet of you. I wouldn't date you if you were the last man on earth." I cross my arms in front of me and Cardan looks me over silently, rolling on the balls of his feet slightly before he tuts once.
"Now, that's just not true." He comments and I swear, I swear I nearly shove him into the bush behind him. My hand twitches with the urge. He notices.
"You're thinking about hurting me right now aren't you?"
"I'm always thinking about hurting you." I promise but this just makes him laugh.
"Jude look, I'm trying to make amends. I know this hardly makes up for what happened between us but it's a start maybe. And at the very least it should get your family off your back for a while about this whole wedding business." He gestures towards the house and looks entirely serious. Why? Why was he doing this? Why did he care whether I had my family on my back and half of the members of that party likely thought I was a tramp?
"What is possibly in this for you?" I ask him because I'm having difficulty believing he's attempting to help me out of the goodness of his heart. His heart was likely black anyway. He looks at me again, like he has a few times this evening. Like I'm here but he can't really believe he's looking at me.
"I mean, I've never really liked Locke as it is, or Taryn if we're being completely honest." I do remember him avoiding my sister. She irritated him to no end. The Locke aversion only started after Nicasia though.
"You really need to get over Locke stealing your girl. And Taryn and I have the same face, she's also quieter than me, if anything you should adore her." I explain and wonder where my cab has gotten off to. Lost, by my luck. Ran off a cliff. Somehow got shot into outer space and is halfway to mars by now.
Cardan blinks at me.
"What? Your face wasn't-" he stops himself and looks at me pointedly "You don't have the same face."
"We're literally identical Cardan."
He shakes his head
"You're not. I mean, technically you are but when you know the two of you well it's very clear that you're the better looking sister." I choke out a laugh despite myself, even if I hate him for it. Hearing it makes him smile. All straight white teeth.
My car pulls up to the street and I let out a breath of relief. I hadn't realised how on edge being alone with him again had made me. I turn towards it to escape speaking to him over my shoulder
"I'm not fake dating you Cardan." I say pointedly and get in the cab. Before I can close the back door behind me he grabs it with his hand, leaning down dangerously close towards me
"See, the thing is, Taryn kind of already thinks we're dating."
"I'll tell her otherwise."
"Jude, if you wanted to do that you would've told her when she was out here." He points out to me and I want to slam the door on his fingers for it.
"Just think about it, okay? Let me know. You can probably find my contact information if you Google Elf-"
"Elfhame holdings, yep, I know. Now get your hand off of the door Cardan before I break it." I warn him, yanking on it. He knows i mean the hand and not the door and the cab driver looks nervous from the front seat. He should feel nervous.
Cardan let's go of the door and I slam it closed behind me. I stare out at him on the side of the road and curse how good he looks, how satisfying it would feel to see the look on Locke's face when I announced Cardan and I were together. Again, I whisper before I shut those thoughts down.
No. I was petty but I wasn't that petty. And sure the digs from my family about how romantically empty my future was likely to be had begun to really hurt but the last person I would go to for help is Cardan.
Although I did enjoy the thought of using him.
He was delusional though if he thought that i would come to him for help and eventually i decide that i too must be delusional when as we're pulling away from my sisters house, he reaches to fix the cufflinks on his shirt and his cuff rides up, revealing the dark outline of a small twisting snake tattoo on the side of his wrist.