Chapter Text
haruto just did a thing.
and he’s almost as proud of himself for it as he was after completing his supercharger performance.
after a lot of trial and error, a lot of favors done by friends to cover for him, and about 4 viruses later, he’d finally illegally downloaded free american netflix onto one of the company ipads!
it was practically impossible with all the blockers and internet restrictions on it, and it was hard to even bring the ipad back to his dorm in the first place. but now he finally has a source of entertainment!
he would’ve done all that on his phone, but if he got caught by staff watching movies on his phone, he'd get not only his entertainment source taken away, but his phone too.
he'd already had a mini movie marathon with anthonny (which didn't work out well, or last very long, considering the fact that anthonny suddenly had a bedtime of 8pm whenever haruto wanted to do anything fun).
haruto wants to try again, though. and for some reason, a voice in the back of his head kept whispering about none other than ricky when.
he missed ricky. he hadn't seen him since the night of the final, and 3 weeks had already passed since then. sure, they're at the same company, and they're both in the building for most of their days, but besides a few passing glances, they hadn't had many opportunities to talk.
so what's a better way to catch up than illegally watching netflix in a 2 foot wide dorm room with no air conditioning or a ventilation system! at 11pm!
haruto picks up his phone – which was smuggled in, of course, stupid company rules – and texts ricky.
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
RICKY
RICKY
RICKCY
RIKCY
RIICKDJCYCYDU
ricky
????????????????????
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
GEUSS
WHAT
I GOR
ricky
not grammarly that's for sure
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
BITCH
ricky
🙃
ok sorry tell me
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
NETFLIX!!!!!!!!!!
haruto can't help but notice how it takes a few seconds longer than usual for ricky to reply.
ricky
that's very cool
?
haruto, now mildly infuriated by ricky's bland reply to his amazing news, types back.
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
R U FREE
WANANAN WA5CT SOMEGTUJGB QITH ME
ricky
i would love to wa5ct somegtujgb qith you
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
IM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE
lovingly of course 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
ricky
u just asked if i want to netflix and chill and now ur gonna punch me in the face
?????
wow
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
WHAT
NOS
TAHST NI
THATS NOT WHAT I MENST 🖕🖕🖕
ricky
hm
are u sure
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
I HATE YOU
ricky
no you don't
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
right 😊 SO UR COMING???
ricky
sure just give me like 10 minutes
where are you
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
my dorm 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
anthonny jsut left
wink wonk wink wonk windk wonfk twink wonk
ricky
uhhh weren't u just insisting that u were not asking me over to netflix and chill
HARUTO 😜‼️💯💯💯💯💥
BITCH SHJT UP I WAS MAKING A JOKEY JOKE 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
and with that, haruto turns off his phone and starts neatening his side of the small room. not because he likes ricky and wants to impress him, because that would be utterly stupid of him (ricky's gonna be an idol now, and haruto is clearly not y/n), but because haruto is just a decent human being that likes things being clean.
after a few minutes of panicking, making sure he doesn't hear staff, rereading his texts and coming to the realization he can't type, and more panicking, there's a light knock on the door.
haruto smiles as he gets up from his small bed and opens the door.
as soon as their eyes meet, haruto has to physically restrain himself from staring at ricky idiotically.
his hair is completely hairspray-less, just how haruto likes it (this was a personal hair preference. not something that indicated that haruto liked ricky. nope!). his black roots have grown out slightly, which haruto hadn't noticed the last time they'd seen each other. had it really been that long?
ricky looks fine in general, as always. upon closer inspection, he's practically bare faced, spare for the little bit of eyeliner that he can't seem to go without lately.
after a brief, very-much-mandatory checking out ricky session, haruto smiles. “hi!”
ricky smiles back softly. “hi, ruto.”
haruto isn't sure why, but he feels a sort of warmth within him when he hears the nickname; like the feeling of drinking hot chocolate on the coldest of winter days, like getting into bed after a long day, like trying on new clothes and immediately loving then.
haruto realizes that it's usually ricky who gives him that feeling.
but he doesn't think too much of it.
“hi ricky! come in!”
ricky nods, stepping into the room and looking around.
“glad i don't have to sleep in one of these anymore.”
haruto playfully hits him on the shoulder. “hey, no need to brag about it!”
ricky chuckles softly, making his way over to sit on the bed. “so how did you get netflix, exactly?”
“i got it on the company ipad!” haruto beams, sitting at ricky's side.
“how…?” ricky's brows raised. haruto fiddled with the ipad controls as he replied,
“i have pirating experience! i got minecraft for free when i was in 6th grade. it got my mom's phone, like, 7 pop up viruses, but it worked, so it was worth it. and then a few years after that, i got ahold of the pro version of kinemaster for my gacha edits…”
ricky just listened to him as he talked. unbeknownst to haruto, ricky was looking at him the whole time.
after a few more police report worthy piracy stories, haruto realizes how long he'd been yapping in ricky's ear for. his cheeks flush slightly. “shit, i'm sorry. got carried away…” he laughs awkwardly.
“it's alright, don't worry,” ricky reassures, patting haruto's shoulder.
haruto jumps a little at the unexpected gesture. he's still getting used to the whole ‘affectionate ricky’ thing. he's gotten used to the tough guy persona.
after overcoming his ricky-induced shock, he starts scrolling through netflix, looking for a show to watch. he and haruto decide wordlessly – through glances and nods – on a random show they'd never even heard of before called devil in ohio.
(skibidi ohio rizz, haruto thinks to himself. he ends up laughing at this and confusing ricky, who decides not to ask.)
haruto sets up the ipad against the end of the bed, and the two of them watch for a good 10 minutes with little conversation. besides the occasional laugh and exchange about a bad joke from the show, it's pretty silent. mainly haruto's fault for not preparing anything, not even a snack. but whatever, he thinks. that's a hard thing to get when you're in the diet hell that is wakeone.
ricky coughs before finally speaking for the first time in a while.
“wait, i can’t see it. could you bring it closer?” ricky mumbles.
“of course,” haruto nods, picking up the ipad and subsequently not knowing where he should put it.
ricky seems to notice. “that's good, you can just hold it..”
“oh- yeah, yeah. okay.”
haruto gets settled back into his seat on the bed, leaning back.
the show plays for a minute or so before ricky moves closer to see better.
haruto’s not sure why his own breath hitched at this.
he gulps and tells his mind, let’s just watch the show.
but of course, he doesn’t listen to himself. when does he ever?
and with the slightest tilt of his head, haruto can see ricky, who’s practically resting on his shoulder.
he can see ricky’s expression in which, for some reason, his gaze is less focused and more spaced out.
haruto wants to look away again, but he can't bring himself to. it's like some unknown force is guiding him into thinking, ‘woah, look at ricky. isn't he hot? woah, look at those eyebrows, man! good god, his lips are still–’
but the force’s voice cuts out when ricky looks at haruto back.
haruto’s startled. so much so that he almost drops the ipad.
“you ok?” ricky says, his warm voice hiding a hint of concern, “you keep shaking.”
“oh! that! yeah, i'm good,” haruto chokes out, plastering on a wonderfully pleased looking smile.
that was the fakest smile he's ever done, and ricky obviously notices.
without any prior warning, ricky reaches out to help steady the ipad, holding his hands over haruto's in the process.
haruto's eyes widen, for some reason. it feels like ricky's gotten even closer, somehow, and the fact they're half-holding-hands isn't helping.
“yeah,” haruto mutters awkwardly. doing just peachy!
if haruto had a ‘yeah’ counter above his head, it'd be embarrassingly high.
if he had a think about how close ricky is right now counter, that’d be even higher. and thats just pathetic.
unfortunately for haruto, ricky doesn't take his hands away. just keeps them there; and to add onto the already bad circumstances, ricky keeps on moving his fingers, making their presence ever so obvious.
another terribly long 10 minutes pass, and the first episode of the show ends.
somewhere within those 10 minutes, haruto had pulled the blankets over them because he was cold. that's what he said, but he really just needed an excuse to get at least once of his hands off of ricky's so that he could think like a normal person.
neither of them move to press ‘next episode’. neither of them speak, in general.
until haruto awkwardly breaks the silence by mumbling, “this show sucks ass.”
ricky laughs. “you're right. no more then?”
haruto nods, but after thinking for a second, immediately shakes his head.
“no- well, yeah, i don't want to watch anymore, but that doesn't mean you have to leave, cause like, haha, well–”
haruto, in that moment, wants to punch himself in the face. ricky probably thinks he's weird. not like he cares too much about what others think of him, but he wants ricky to at least like him!
(not in that way. nuh uh.)
but instead of the weirded-out expression haruto expected, ricky just hums.
“i'll stay a little longer.”
he pauses.
“i missed you, you know.”
and haruto feels that warmth within him again. this time, his heart floats a little too.
because he felt that way, too.
“i missed you too… it's been a while.”
“yeah.”
ricky looks down and seems to notice how the ipad is still in their hands. in turn, haruto notices the shift in his glance, and they both move to put the ipad down.
but once they do, ricky’s hand doesn’t leave. instead, he moves to grasp onto haruto's hand.
this time, it feels natural.
haruto doesn't know why. but it feels right, and it feels nice. he isn't sure why his cheeks start to burn. he tries making conversation, to maybe brighten the mood a little.
“how has practice been going?”
“badly,” ricky winces, practically seconds after haruto asked.
“why?”
“they won't let me do anything, man.”
seemingly, ricky was still used to the yuehua trainee experience. it hurts haruto to think about ricky having to live like he did at this god forsaken company.
“i'm sorry… you know, if you ever need a break, you can come back here.”
“as if. i had to sneak out of our dorm to get here, the manager won't let me go anywhere.”
haruto frowns, and he puts his free hand around ricky's shoulder.
he didn't really think beforehand about the fact that it'd cause them to be basically cuddling.
but ricky doesn't seem to protest. he unclasps haruto's hand so he can put his arm around his waist.
haruto can't help but feel the force coming back to him; the one that wouldn't stop making him overthink. ricky's right there… you're holding him, how romantic… girl you should smell him…
haruto shook the force away.
ricky did smell nice though! expensive cologne, it seemed like. lots of it.
haruto eventually relaxes into ricky's arms. because this was a completely normal thing to do! platonic cuddling!
haruto rests his head on ricky's chest, where he can feel his heart beating pretty loudly. for some reason. ricky rubs haruto’s back.
they’re silent again. but this time it's the comfortable type.
“hey, wanna play poker again sometime?”
haruto hesitates a bit before replying, “as long as there’s no hitting involved this time.”
“you just need to get better,” ricky smiles.
“and you need to stop hitting so hard.”
and they talk and banter for what feels like hours, catching up on any new happenings, reminiscing on their past hangouts, as they always do.
but ricky becomes unusually quiet as the conversation goes on; and that’s very quiet, considering the fact he doesn't talk very much in the first place.
after a few moments of silence, he decides to talk.
“haruto… you’ll debut too, right?”
haruto’s a little taken aback. “i want to, i don't know when…”
ricky nods, avoiding haruto’s gaze. “good… just… don't debut here.”
haruto’s even more taken aback now.
“huh? why?”
“i don't want you to go through this… for too long. it sucks here. you deserve better.”
“but you’re debuting here, though,” haruto blinks a few times, unsure of ricky’s point.
“well yeah, nothing i can do about that. i just want what's best for you,” ricky says slowly, as if he were carefully thinking of each word to use, “i wish we could've debuted together. i wanted to… talk more.”
haruto gives a slight smile, although still unsure why this topic was being brought up. “i really wanted to debut with you, too. i cried a lot when i was eliminated,” he confesses, “a lot of it was because i’d miss you.”
ricky looks down again, subconsciously moving haruto closer to him.
“just debut somewhere else. for your sake. and we’ll meet again.”
why was he being so morbid? haruto thought. it's not like ricky debuting means he's dying. but he decides it's best not to argue that.
“but i’ll miss you if i go. won't see you as much,” haruto sighs.
you’re my best friend, he wants to say, but that dang unknown force tells him not to. so he doesn't.
“i’ll miss you too,” ricky pauses. “i hope things go well, ruto. get into a company that won't put you on a sweet potato diet, alright?”
haruto laughs, and for the first time in the past few minutes, ricky looks at him and smiles.
“alright,” haruto says somewhat defiantly.
ricky runs a hand through haruto’s hair all of a sudden.
haruto doesn't mind. it's nice, actually.
ricky's much softer than he’d expected.
haruto relaxes even further, feeling himself melt into ricky’s arms.
ricky smiles. “i like you.”
haruto malfunctions.
what? what? huh? what? hello? what? 대체 뭐야? 何? 吗? ¿que? what the hell?
his eyes widen, meeting ricky's, which are still softly smiling down at him.
the unknown force has almost taken control over haruto, shifting him into autopilot, but haruto somehow relaxes himself.
well, he's so calm about it, so he can't be that serious, right? he just means like, “you're cool”. yeah, that's it. i think he's cool, too. and anyways, even if ricky did like-like him, it isn't a big deal. ricky’s cool. he could like-like ricky.
those thoughts, and his sheer exhaustion from his long day, bring haruto to reply.
“i like you too, ricky.”
and he feels his eyelids get heavy. and he falls back onto ricky's chest.
haruto can’t see it, but ricky's the smiliest he's ever been since before boys planet.
and then he realizes he's pretty tired, too.
we'll figure it out in the morning, ricky thinks to himself.
and they fall asleep on haruto's tiny bed, held close together, with not a care in the world, even if its just for that night.
———————————
“so, what’s been going on with krystian?~”
“well,” anthonny giggles, “we’ve been video calling ever since he got back to china. he's so much fun…” he gushes, staring off into the distance lovingly.
“oooh! he wants you bad,” woongki squeals, hitting anthonny’s arm.
the two of them are walking back to their dorms after a night out at karaoke.
(they had to sneak out, too. luckily, the managers were too busy out finding ricky to notice them leaving. where the hell is ricky going? anthonny had wondered.)
their steps echo throughout the empty hallway as they try to keep their gossip at a minimum volume.
“stop, you think so?” anthonny swoons.
“girl, he’s been texting you heart emojis for weeks now! not even the lame red one, he's texting you fire hearts! besides, he's the only contact on your secret phone, don't you think that means something?~”
anthonny lets out a mini shriek, woongki smiling encouragingly. “you’ll be boyfriends by the end of the month. that's my take on it!”
they approach anthonny’s dorm room.
“is haruto there?” woongki asks. he smiles when anthonny nods in confirmation.
“good! i’ll come in for a minute to say hi, if you don’t mind.”
anthonny didn't mind. so he goes ahead and opens the door.
except something appears wrong even at first glance. what was it?
he only looks for a second longer before finding the culprit; why does haruto have a man over on a random tuesday– what the hell is that ricky?!
“what?” woongki whines impatiently as anthonny stands there at a loss for words.
woongki peeks over his shoulder and gasps.
“HARUTO MAEDA, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!"
Notes:
next chapter will take place in the present! ♡ thank you for reading, kudos and comments appreciated~
Chapter 2: movie night
Notes:
this chapter is set around july 2024!
thank you for the support so far!
this chapter is mainly zb1 & toz group dynamics ! but it still adds to the storynote: please keep in mind everyone's personality is somewhat exaggerated for comedic effect ! i know there is more to them than what i write, it's purely for the attempt at humor!!! thank you ♥
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
haruto just did a thing.
he’d just gotten his first paycheck – the training debt finally got paid off! – and he immediately knew what to buy. it was something him and his members had been wishing and hoping for ever since they moved into the dorm.
a tv!
(yeah, they hadn't been given one in the first place. when they spent their first night at the dorm, takuto had almost cried because he was gonna miss the new episode of his favorite cartoon. needless to say, he'd missed around 2 seasons of the show at this point due to how long they'd gone without television.)
so when haruto walks into the dorm with a tv box in arms, takuto practically screams.
anthonny gasps.
yuto's eyes unnaturally widen, “really?! you got it?”
haruto nods, “you bet.”
the members seem more excited in this moment than the moment they were chosen to debut. after eventually setting the tv down, haruto rushes to join them in jumping around in circles around the coffee table while shouting "television, television!". you know, normal group activities.
–––
after 3 cups of coffee, 2 hours of work, and 1 headache, haruto finally got the tv up and running.
the members had tried to help him; key word, tried. takuto bounced off the walls like an excited 4 year old (which, technically, he was one already), yuto shouted out obvious-sounding solutions that never ended up working, and anthonny, the only one who sort of knew what to do, was busy texting on his phone.
("krystian can wait, alright? which plug to i put this stupid hdmi into?!" haruto had groaned.
30 seconds passed before anthonny looked up from his phone. "sorry, what?"
"THE FUCKASS HDMI, ANTHONNY!"
haruto got put in time out for swearing around takuto.)
haruto sat down on the couch, laying back to admire his hard work.
until, of course, takuto got hold of the remote, and decided now was the best time to put on cartoon network.
evidently, they hadn't adjusted any settings yet. so when takuto presses on the big, red, shiny 'UNMUTE' button, the teen titans go theme song starts playing at max volume.
yuto screams, which is somehow even louder than the show.
anthonny scrambles to take the remote out of takuto's hand, but he's already trying his hardest to spam the 'volume down' button. unfortunately, the battle for the remote makes turning the volume back down a lot harder; neither of them have the critical thinking skills to press on 'mute' again.
haruto isn't sure what to do with himself, because between all that shopping, tv set up, and life in general, he didn't really have time to prepare for the '2024 yell at the tv convention'.
so after a few seconds of holding his head in his hands, questioning each and every decision he's made in order to get here, the tv becomes silent.
haruto sighs in relief. he opens his eyes, expecting to see the newly healed world, but instead sees takuto yelling at anthonny, yuto crying, and anthonny– why the hell is he checking his phone again?!
haruto feels yuto fall onto him.
"that was scary..." yuto blubbers, holding onto haruto's arm for dear life. haruto wasn't sure if he was fake crying, or exaggerating, but either way it was quite concerning.
he also can't help but listen in on takuto and anthonny's argument; well, their half-argument, as anthonny's too occupied with texting his boyfriend to retaliate.
"I WAS DOING IT! I WOULD'VE DONE IT IF YOU LEFT THE REMOTE ALONE, YOU DUMBASS–"
everyone in the room gasps. anthonny even looks up from his phone, "you WHAT NOW?"
takuto blinks, realizing he probably shouldn't have said that word.
haruto stifles a chuckle at the unexpected behavior, while yuto blatantly laughs his ass off next to him, hitting haruto's arm so hard that it'll probably leave marks.
haruto notices after a second that anthonny is staring at him, clearly trying to look intimidating (and failing miserably, considering how he is).
"maeda haruto. who do you think he learned that word from?" anthonny accuses, arms crossed as he leans against the arm of the couch.
haruto lifts his arms up in a mock-shrug, "not my fault! never told him to say it!"
"you know very well he copies everything."
"that's not my fault! takuto, just don't say that again, okay?"
takuto nods begrudgingly, "i'm not a baby... i'm 16..."
"you just put on teen titans go," yuto cries out, broken up by loud squaks of laughter.
"so? i like that show!"
"there is so much better out there, why this? is it rotting your brain that bad that it's like, brainwashing you into liking it?"
"you don't get it! beast boy is so rizz!" takuto shouts. haruto cringes – another word he should not have taught him. the boy can't even use it right, for god's sake.
and as they argue about their tv preferences, haruto happens to hear the creaking of floorboards. his eyes widen.
"guys, the manager–"
nobody hears him.
"you haven't seen the amazing world of gumball? your parents failed you, man," yuto snapped, now genuinely mad instead of play-arguing.
haruto manages to meet anthonny's gaze, and he tries to telepathically send him the warning sign; manager heard. he is coming in, like, right now.
anthonny somehow understands, and, like the angel he is, takes action. he grabs takuto by the collar of his shirt and sneers through his clenched teeth, "enough. manager." he also gives a dirty look to yuto, because, lucky for him, anthonny can't reach well enough to slap him in the face.
at anthonny's command, they all do what they seem to have become best at; fake sleeping at the mention of the manager.
thankfully, the door to the living room only opens after each of them had awkwardly taken position on the couch.
the manager was confused, as always. and even though he saw the tv playing, everyone dressed in very obviously not pajamas, and the tv remote haphazardly balanced on haruto's head, he didn't think anything of it, and went back to his room.
(that was the worst part about living in this dorm; they can't do shit without mr. 50-year-old-party-pooper ruining their fun.
haruto always tries comforting himself by saying, at least it's better than the ultra supervision at boys planet and wakeone, but it doesn't make the manager situation any brighter.
at the sound of the door creaking closed, everyone sits up.
"i'm going to bed," anthonny sighs, quietly getting up and trudging to his room. except he comes back from the hallway not even 10 seconds later, orders takuto to bed too.
"it's past your bedtime."
"it's 10pm!" takuto cries.
––-
after an hour or so of enjoying the new tv with yuto, and laughing over the anthonny-takuto remote fight (since they were now free to), they go back to their rooms to unwind.
lucky for haruto, takuto is a very lovely roommate; albeit, only when he's sleeping (when takuto sleeps, he sleeps hard.
haruto lays down on his bed, somehow even more exhausted than he was after putting together that damn tv, – really, who knew how involved that process was? – and he picks up his phone.
haruto loves his phone. it's his portal to the outside world! he's thankful to even be allowed one now.
if he still had instagram, he'd be bragging about his new tv right now. but, alas, the phone privledges are about as far as his rights go around here.
so instead, he decides to text people about it!
but then he realizes how late it is. everyone's probably either asleep, or practicing, if their company is derranged.
so after opening his messenger, he decides it's best if he saves it for tomorrow.
but just before he exits, he gets the popup "ricky is online!"
ricky!
haruto missed ricky.
in all honestly, he hadn't spent any time with him since right after boys planet ended, and he barely remembers any of it. he was so overtired that the only details that still remained in his head were; ricky looked good. watched skibidi show. ricky.
they still texted sometimes, yeah, but they were so busy all the time. so all their conversations lasted an average of 30 minutes, and nothing important, topic-wise, is ever really brought up.
and haruto doesn't like it.
as much as the boys planet days were hell, sometimes he wishes he could go back so he can spend more time with ricky.
(and all his other friends. but for some reason, his brain kept insisting, mostly ricky.)
so he thinks for a minute, – is this important? yes. is this a conversation to be having at midnight? sure! do you just want an excuse to talk to ricky? no, what are you talking about (yes)! – and texts ricky.
–––––––––––
ricky is dying inside.
the dorm shenanigans were funny at first; really, they were.
but his members seem to get even more unhinged with each passing day.
he’s currently seating in the living room, at what was meant to be a movie night.
except their living room is already way too small for 9 people, which results in half of them sitting on the floor, half on the couch.
matthew and taerae had been all over each other for the entire night, cuddling, giggling, and giving each other bedroom eyes. mind you, this was done in front of everyone, and right next to yujin.
frankly, yujin looks like he wants to jump out the window, and ricky doesn't blame him.
gyuvin was talking through the movie the entire time, and when he was actually paying attention, he was giving helpful commentary like “bro just got killed by the sunset slasher! this is crazy man!”.
gunwook had been hogging the bowl of chips for an hour at this point, and was unfortunately encouraging gyuvin's commentary (“no way bro just pulled a gun on him!”).
jiwoong had fallen asleep 2 minutes after the movie started, and nobody made the effort to get him up.
and if matthew and taerae were bad, don't get ricky started on the dreaded haobin. ricky's gotten used to it, sure, but he's not sure how much more of the ‘2024 hao and hanbin kiss fest’ he can take before he decides to quit. at least they have the decency to do it behind yujin, who's on the floor, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant to see.
and can hanbin please put some clothes on?
this was the one night in the past 3 months that their manager was out of the dorm, and this was what they decided to do. but it's turned out pretty lackluster compared to other things they could've decided to do.
but it's not like he can get out of it. he's tried already, and with each escape attempt, gyuvin pulls on his arm to bring him back to the couch; "ricky, no! you're gonna miss a good part!"
ricky does not care about missing a good part. he's missing the comfort of his bedroom much more.
so ricky tries his very best to get through it, and it's somewhat working. he's sometimes able to focus on the movie for 20 seconds without distractions!
but unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. gyuvin's back to his commentary once again, and this time, he's seemed to notice how much it's pissing ricky off.
"bro just got pushed off the roof! dude!" gyuvin exclaims, this time right next to ricky's ear.
ricky sighs, trying to hide a smile. he fails. "bro, you're about to get punched in the face."
ricky doesn't stay annoyed for much longer.
as much as everyone's bothersome (on occasion), he's learned to enjoy it. they'd been together for a while, anyway; exposure therapy!
ricky knows times like these won't last forever. so just for today, he'll put his hater tendencies down.
it'd be lonely without the unnecessary commentary (and the romantic antics, he supposes), anyway.
–––
the movie night continues. surprisingly, this generic, poorly filmed, low-budget horror movie was very long.
suddenly, the door slams open.
shit. it's the manager.
zhanghao immediately launches himself off of hanbin, trying to fix his expression and failing considering his eyes are 4x wider than usual. hanbin straightens his posture, seemingly turning his brain to 'leader mode'.
taerae and matthew, on the other hand, are petrified. taerae looks like a child who'd just been caught by his mom while watching adult-themed minecraft animations, and matthew plainly seems to have his career flashing before his eyes.
gunwook had thrown the bowl of chips behind him right at the sound of the door, but he seemingly forgot the bowl was made of glass. the shattering sound ended up being even worse than if the manager caught them snacking while on their diet.
yujin was the only one who looked genuinely scared, jumping practically 2 feet into the air after the door opened. he jumped another 4 feet after the glass bowl broke.
jiwoong was still asleep, somehow.
the manager wasn't scary to ricky anymore, just a slight hinderance.
so when the manager shouts, "what the hell is going on in here? it's such a mess, i cannot believe you guys. you worthless lazy asses, you're supposed to be practicing right now! get this living room cleaned right now before i have to call down the dance teachers to beat your asses, you punks!", ricky isn't phased.
"bro is angry," gyuvin whispers to ricky, who has to try very hard not to burst out laughing.
"yes. we're sorry," hanbin asserts, "it won't happen again. we'll start cleaning now."
thankfully, hanbin's ultra-polite super-genuine apology always works wonders, and the manager storms out of the dorm, slamming the door behind him.
funnily, this is what finally makes jiwoong wake up, and his jump beats yujin's record. he also yells pretty loud, which is a perfect addition to the already loud environment.
everyone begrudgingly gets up and starts cleaning.
ricky first goes over to comfort a crying gunwook.
"i didn't mean to break it..." gunwook, sniffled, trying to sweep up the broken pieces of glass and ultimately failing.
"let me do it," ricky offers.
"thank you," gunwook sighs. he just sits on the floor watching the broom. ricky's not sure why.
he can hear everyone else bringing the blankets and pillows back to their respective rooms, the tv being shut off, and taerae trying to explain to jiwoong what'd happened while he was asleep (but it seems like he's only talking about what happened in the movie, not the fact that the manager is mad at them again).
after 30 minutes of cleaning, 20 minutes of sweeping up glass, and 10 minutes of insisting to gunwook that it is okay, ricky's done with his fair share of de-movie nighting!
everyone else finishes one by one after him, and they all eventually return to their own rooms.
ricky sighs the second his head hits his pillow.
he's tired. it's midnight; which usually wouldn't be considered too late, but considering the fact he has practice at 5am, it very much is late.
that doesn't mean he wants to go to sleep yet. because he's also bored, and sleep isn't the most fun thing.
so what better way to kill time than to scroll instagram reels for 2 hours!
so he does that for a while, then checks twitter, then checks youtube, then weibo, then kakaotalk.
his kakaotalk is dead as always. sure, he has people's contacts; any idol friends he makes, any trainees he was close with. but he isn't good at starting conversations.
as much as he's gotten better at it -- he's definitely more extroverted now than he was during boys planet – he isn't sure what to say. so it leads to his conversations dying out quick, and not ever meaning much.
ricky decides it's time to move on to checking tiktok, but right before exiting the messenger, he gets a notification;
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
YOU UP ???
ricky takes a second to process it.
haruto. he misses haruto.
evidently, they'd never figured it out in the morning.
hell, he isn't even sure what it is he said at that netflix hangout. he'd practiced for 9 hours straight that day; he was exhausted. he shouldn't have gone to see haruto that day, but he did, because he missed him.
he wasn't sure what it was about haruto. it was kind of embarrassing, but when he thought of haruto, he always smiled.
haruto was just so easygoing, easy to talk to. haruto understood him. and he was fun.
and a wee, small, tiny bit hot. ricky had always looked forward to his performances on boys planet, never because of the team in general, but because he'd get to see haruto for a little bit.
ricky wished he'd spent more time with haruto while he still could.
and even though he knew it was best for haruto, it kind of hurt when he left wakeone.
he didn't want haruto to go through that much longer. but it killed all their opportunities to talk. and texting wasn't the same; ricky hated texting.
he just wanted one more night with haruto. just to experience what it's like to be around him again. hell, it'd been over a year since they'd seen each other. and with each day of the humid summer passing by, even though ricky thought he was over it by now, he missed haruto even more.
just one more night; to remember why he feels that tight, squeezy feeling in his chest at the sound of his name. to feel the butterflies from whenever they'd hug. to talk with him like good friends again.
to know if he really likes him or not.
ricky snaps out of his thoughts when he hears his phone go off again. another message from haruto; as cringey as it is to admit, ricky's heart flutters.
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
oksy guess not sirry man 🙏🙏
shit. was ricky lost in his brain for that long?
he scrambles, not wanting to waste this opportunity. his only opportunity, it seems like. since he's pretty desperate right now.
so he responds to haruto.
–––––––––––
haruto is kinda disappointed when he doesn't get a reply from ricky. because first of all, he's not a very patient person, and second of all, ricky was literally online.
he turns off his phone, sighing.
but the second he turns it off, it lights up with a new notification.
ricky
no no i'm up
haruto smiles widely, and he opens the message. ricky's still typing another one.
ricky
sorry i got distracted
what's up
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
you'll NEVER guess whqt happened today
ricky
what??
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
I GOT A TV!!!!!
ricky
really?
with your own money? that's good !
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
i just got my first paycheck today #youngandrich #talland #handsome
ricky
it took that long?
and i thought yy was better than wakeone
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
just a wee bit! 🎀
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO RICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
haruto notices it takes a little longer for ricky to type this time.
ricky
well!
we had a movie night tonight it didn't go well
the manager walked in on us and we had to clean
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HATE CLEANING
ricky
so do i
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
our manager caught us too 😭🙏 takuto accidentally put the tv on way too loud and then he argued with anthonny and said his first swear word
they grow up so fast bro i'm sad 💔💔
ricky
what was takuto's first!
yujin's learned all of them at this point and hao is too tired to tell him to stop
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
YUJIN NO UR A BABYYYYYYYYYYY 💔
takuto called anthonny a dumbass!
ricky
why can i see this happening
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
BECAUSE IT DID!
was movie night at least a liiiiiiiiittle fun
ricky
i wish
gyuvin and gunwook talking the whole time the couples being coupley shit was a mess
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
IM SO SORRY 😢
wait i just got an idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ricky
what ??????
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
i just got the tv u know
wanna have a movie night here!!
ricky takes longer to reply again. it seems like he's typing and deleting over and over again, and it tests haruto's patience.
ricky
with your members?
that's all he said after all that? haruto complained (in his head. there was nobody to complain to).
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
doesn't have to be!
i can try and find a way to get them out of there yk 🤞
haruto realizes that that invitation sounds inherently weird, and decides to elaborate to potentially save himself.
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
you can bring some of ur members if u want though!!
ricky responds almost immediately this time.
ricky
no i'll go myself
how are you going to get everyone out though?
harutp's surprised. he didn't expect ricky to be on board with this, let alone be enthusiastic about it (trust him, ricky's enthusiastic. that's just as excited as ricky ever looks over text.
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
i'll find a way!!!!!!!
friday will probably work we don't have any practice thennnn does that work for u ❔❓
ricky
it does but i'll have to sneak out
you know
because of the manager and stuff
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
I'LL FIGURE THAT OUT TOO don't worry ur pretty little head off abt it
i will get u out unscathed plz believe me on this
ricky
okay!! 😊
an emoji? what's with ricky today?
ricky
let me know when you have a plan okay?
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
OFCCCCCCCCCCCC
r u going to sleep already ????????
ricky
yeah
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
bro has a bedtime 😭🙏
ricky
no but i have practice at 5am
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
oh shit sorry bro
💔💔
good luck with that i'll be sure to cheer u on!!!!!!!!!!!
ricky
thank you !
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
goodnight ricky sleep well okay!!!!! see u on fridayyyyyyyyyyy
ricky
goodnight haruto 💙
haruto smiles at his phone, falling onto his pillows as he shuts it off. he puts the phone beside him and gets comfortable.
he has plans!
with ricky!
–––––––––––
ricky shuts off his phone, face blank.
he lays down on his stomach in bed.
he has plans! with haruto!
this is what he had wanted. he'll be able to see haruto, talk to him. maybe even be alone with him; what a concept!
it doesn't feel real.
now he wishes that the next few days would just pass by quickly.
(just earlier he was thinking about how he needs to cherish each moment, but now that haruto's involved, he's calculating how many hours are between tuesday and friday.)
ricky is happy.
but then his mind drifts off.
and he waits a second.
and yells into his pillow.
why the hell did he use a heart emoji?!
Notes:
SURPRISE there's going to be one more chapter! i couldn't fit everything into this one 🙏 plz try and be more patient than haruto is, guys!! thank you for reading, kudos and comments appreciated ♥
Chapter 3: personal planner
Notes:
this chapter is set on thursday morning onwards!
i know i said this would be the last chapter i knowwww 💔 i changed my mind! there were too many ideas to fit into one 😭😭😭😭
please note! i do not have a beta reader nor do i spellcheck so there may be some errors here and there!! i've been starting to write on my computer lately so i'm not used to there being no autocorrect yet
i hope you enjoy the chapter !!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
haruto just did a thing.
this time, he is not proud of himself for it.
he should've seen this coming when he told woongki about his plans to see ricky.
he expected something, sure.
however, he did not expect this something to be woongki barging into his dorm in thursday’s early morning, looking like he'd just gone through 9 years of emotional distress over the simple text, 'i'm gonna hang out with ricky on friday!!".
"woongki, it's 2am, what the hell–"
"i need more information on this."
haruto blinks, "you came here... just to gossip?"
"precisely!" woongki remarked, making himself at home on the couch, stretching his arms out.
"you've never driven here yourself, how did you remember...?"
"i have my ways!"
haruto is mildly weirded out, but brushes it off, since it's just woongki after all. it'd been a while since they'd seen each other; their trip out to eat with supercharger team (sans ollie, since he was stuck in the loong9 company dungeon), was the last time they'd really talked in person.
haruto thanks his lucky stars that all his members decided to sleep already; he isn't sure how he'd be able to handle an interrogation session, let alone a quintuple interrogation session.
that said, haruto sits down opposite woongki on the couch, finding it somewhat difficult to truly relax under woongki's unreadable gaze.
"so–" haruto starts.
"you're seeing ricky, huh?"
haruto pauses for a second, and nods slowly, "yeah... why?"
woongki's eyes widen.
"i didn't mean it like that!" haruto denied, "we're just gonna hang out at the dorm, watch a movie or something. i still have to think of a way to get everyone out, though, i don't want them bothering me, you know."
woongki laughs, looking away for a second, "how many times are you gonna say you don't like ricky? i'm not buying it, you know that."
"what?" haruto chokes out, dumbfounded.
with a sigh, woongki elaborates, "you're planning another netflix and chill session with him. just you two. you want everyone out of the dorm, girl. when's it gonna dawn on you?"
"i don't know what you mean," haruto interjects, "it's just to catch up. it's been a while."
"you think i forgot about how you two were cuddling?"
haruto throws his head back in exasperation, "you're never gonna let that go, huh?"
"not until i get an answer out of you!"
"an answer to what, woongki!"
"you dumbass! do you like him?!"
"no! i told you!"
woongki sighs even louder than before, "alright, let's take baby steps with this. 'kay?"
haruto's too tired to deal with the consequences of saying 'no, get out of my dorm, girl, i have nothing more to tell you,' so for his sanity's sake, he decides to just play along. "fine."
"let's bring this all the way back the beginning, alright?" woongki says slowly, high pitched, as if he's speaking to a 3 year old, "what was your first impression of ricky?"
"that was over a year ago," haruto argues, "and there were 97 other people there."
woongki shoots daggers from his eyes. no, not daggers, double sided ultra sharp swords, "wrong answer."
bitch, what do you mean wrong answer?
haruto knows it's best to just comply.
"well, he looked good. and intimidating. he looked at me a couple times and it was scary," haruto pauses, waiting to see if woongki approves and moves on.
woongki does not approve and move on. so, begrudgingly, haruto continues.
"and i liked his voice. and when we talked for the first time, at the dorms, he was still kinda intimidating. but then he said that i did good with glitch mode, and like..." he pauses again. should he really be telling woongki about the warm fuzzy feeling? probably not.
"and like?" woongki challenged, clearly impatient.
"well, i felt really... happy? but not in a generic, 'woah, someone told me good job' way, you know? and you know how like sometimes it feels like you're at, like, a complete loss for words, but there's so much you wanna say, but also you're intimidated because you don't wanna say anything embarrassing, you know? it was really awkward because i felt like that and wasn't sure what to do, so like i said 'oh thank you, you did good too' but it was all stuttery and shit because i was so nervous, you know?"
when haruto looks back up at woongki, his expression looks almost disappointed in him, like woongki's his mom who just found out haruto broke the family heirloom vase.
"you gotta explain a little better, first of all," woongki replied, strangely without emotion, "when do you get that feeling? that very specific intimidated feeling?"
"when i talk to some people?"
"which people, haruto," woongki presses.
"well, mostly ricky, but isn't that how everyone felt?" haruto almost forces an awkward laugh, "bro was scary..!"
woongki doesn't laugh back, "do you still feel like that around ricky?"
haruto looks down for a moment, thinking. "i guess so? yeah."
"and do you feel like that around other people?"
"well... not that i can think of, no."
"exactly."
"what?"
woongki facepalms, "you are hopeless, you know that?"
"what?"
"i guess i'll have to be more specific. when you think about ricky, what do you think about?"
"the number 4, black, rhombus, cats, and bruno mars?"
"girl what the fuck?"
haruto tilts his head slightly, "what? i answe-"
"i meant things about him, not your personal ricky association headcanons! god, what do i do with you?"
"i answered your question! i don't wanna do this anymore–"
"okay. fine. you should probably figure this out with him, you need a little more realization time. you said you needed the members out of here?"
"yeah..? on friday?"
"wonderful. i'll make that work for you, 'kay?"
"how? what are you, my personal planner?"
haruto barely gets the word out before woongki bickers, "i'll figure it out. anything to help the lovebirds!"
"i don't like ricky."
woongki dramatically lifts himself off the couch, walking off.
"you like ricky."
instead of leaving, though, woongki casually lets himself into haruto's room.
"where are you– bitch, don't sleep on my bed!" haruto groans.
alas, when haruto gets into his room (literally 10 seconds later), woongki is already in haruto's bed, under the covers, pretending to sleep.
haruto doesn't have the energy to argue, or to pull woongki out of his room. and he is not sleeping in the same bed as that man.
so haruto, dejectedly, takes a blanket from the armchair and lays down on the couch.
haruto's brain is still awake. with the thoughts about ricky coming over, to the suddenness of woongki's arrival, to the subliminal-message-like things that woongki was pushing into his mind, it's hard to turn his brain off.
he tosses and turns, and even with the lights off and the soft sound of the rain outside the window, he can't bring himself to sleep.
do i like ricky?
———————————
ricky knows he'll be in trouble if he gets caught going out.
but he didn't exactly have that much time to make an escape plan. so he's mostly winging it, hoping for the best.
anything for haruto.
he packs a small bag to bring with him, just in case all goes wrong; phone, wallet, charger, lip gloss, glasses, perfume. et cetera. the basics.
ricky's still nervous. he wishes he could just get over it. but the thought of seeing haruto was so damn nerve-wracking. and it was stupid.
it's been a year and a half, and he still can't get rid of the butterflies that come at the mention of maeda haruto?
hell, 2 years ago, ricky didn't even know the boy existed. and at first, he didn't feel any of this bullshit.
but with each moment he spent with haruto, he'd felt his heart becoming more and more impulsive, more controlling. and no matter how much ricky had tried to push it away, he kept on thinking, thinking, thinking about haruto. during practice breaks, from across the planet camp cafeteria, hell, even before he fell asleep. with each agonizing day that went by, faster than the ever-growing anxiety in his mind, his heart just became more prone to the butterfly infestation.
why hasn't his heart constructed a butterfly trap by now?
he isn't sure if he likes haruto. like-likes haruto.
because how can you truly like someone you don't really know?
they drifted apart. so why haven't the feelings gone away?
ricky still thinks of haruto from time to time.
not as often, but that's only because they aren't together all the time anymore.
seeing him in person is a different story.
ricky's irrationally nervous about it. he's not sure how much longer he can take this sense of impending doom.
what if something happens that makes haruto think differently of him?
not that haruto thinks of him a lot in the first place. ricky's sure.
if he does like-like haruto, haruto surely doesn't feel like that.
does he?
it's hard for ricky to tell. they don't talk enough.
so maybe that'll change today?
ricky sighs and picks up his bag. while making his way out of his room, he can't help but notice and scrutinize his reflection in the mirror. he was so busy worrying that he didn't have much time for the look.
so he runs back to his side table, quickly finding his comb and haphazardly combs his hair back, desperately trying to do something about the black mop of hair falling into his eyes.
good enough.
ricky checks the mirror, checks his phone – 9pm – and exits his room.
he tries to convince himself to put away the worries; he'd asked gyuvin to cover for him (while giving a vague, untrue excuse for going out); and everyone is probably too busy – or tired – to interfere with him leaving.
ricky sneaks over to the door, and quickly realizes he spoke too soon.
"where are you going?"
ricky turns around at the sound of jiwoong's voice.
"i'm... going out to eat."
"we just had dinner," jiwoong points out.
"oh, i meant– i'm have to go out to get something to eat... for tomorrow."
evidently, ricky's a bad liar. jiwoong clicks his tongue.
"that's not what gyuvin told me, though?"
ricky's eyes widened.
kim gyuvin, you're so dead.
ricky didn't remember the excuse he gave to gyuvin. he only gave an excuse in the first place so he wouldn't have gyuvin on his ass, threatening to use the information as blackmail. but alas, gyuvin made it an issue anyway.
to avoid further humiliation, ricky just accepts defeat and tells jiwoong the truth.
"i'm... going to haruto's dorm for the night."
"what? haruto? he's like, 2 towns over, isn't he?"
"right..."
"what about the manager? what if he catches you?" jiwoong reprimands, though all while making a point to whisper. the manager was in the dorm still.
"i don't know," ricky replies quietly, beginning to doubt his plan,s and the certainty he had that they'd work out somehow.
"you can't just do that, ricky. he'll be on us the whole night asking if we know where you went."
ricky sighs, "i know. but... i have to see haruto tonight, i–"
ricky is interrupted by the sound of a bedroom door slamming open.
"CHAEWON, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" he hears someone blubber.
it's the manager, holding his phone close to his face and sobbing comically loudly.
with tears streaming down his face, he runs out the front door, not giving a single glance towards jiwoong or ricky before slamming the door behind him.
ricky hears a choked out "my princess! i love you, don't do this to me!" from the hallway, fading out as the manager presumably exits the building altogether.
ricky blinks, looking back jiwoongs way. "what the hell...?"
"well, you've got an easy way out now," jiwoong smiles. a fatherly smile. one that says, 'i trust you'.
ricky nods, unsure what to say. the whole situation happened so quickly, he isn't sure if it was real or some sort of 10 second fever dream.
"get out there before he comes back," jiwoong encourages, "i won't tell anyone where you're going. you're worried they'll question you about it, right?"
what does jiwoong know?
ricky's okay with it, though. "alright... i'll go now," he replies, almost shakily due to the heightened nerves.
"call me if something goes wrong, i'll try and help," jiwoong calls as ricky quietly heads out of the door.
"thank you, hyung," ricky smiled softly.
and he heads for haruto's place.
———————————
woongki was back, to haruto's dismay.
and he somehow figured out how to get the members out of the dorm!
except the more he explains it, the more complicated it seems to haruto.
haruto squints one eye in confusion, "so you're taking takuto to the arcade... for how long?"
"how long do you need?" woongki quips.
"uh... i don't know?"
"just tell me when you're done, i'll drop him off."
"okay..." haruto mumbled, "and you're sending yuto off to... babysit your cat?"
"yep!"
"you don't even have a cat–"
"now i do!"
aside from a disapproving look, haruto doesn't pry, "you really think he's gonna do that?"
woongki nods, "of course! i told him he can have anything he wants out of the fridge. and he likes cats!"
"does he?"
"sure! everyone does!"
"alright, alright. what about anthonny, then?"
"he's going out with krystian!"
haruto's eyes practically pop out of his head, "what?"
"what?" woongki asks, smiling.
"did you make him come all the way from china for this?"
"no, he was coming for a surprise visit anyway," woongki clarifies, "but i'll make it work! i’ll give them some going out money, and anthonny'll be so happy, and he'll be so busy making out with krystian at some hotel that he won’t co-"
"alright, alright, i get it," haruto groans, "no more details."
"hm. you think i should give them a few cond-"
"cha woongki," haruto reprimands, making woongki laugh his ass off for a solid 2 minutes straight.
"okay! well, i'll start getting everyone out of here now, alright? just act normal, like nothing's happening!" woongki chirps.
"you got it."
so woongki collects yuto from his room, and sends him off with directions to his place. yuto seems surprisingly enthusiastic about it. hell, he doesn't even bid haruto goodbye before he's out the door. haruto looks out the window a minute later to see yuto riding his pink, sparkle-tassled bike down the sidewalk to woongki's apartment, unicorn helmet on his head.
he gets takuto next, who looks very much arcade-ready with his... where did he get rainbow suspenders from, and why is he wearing them? haruto doesn't say anything, though. because, one, he doesn't want to dampen takuto's sense of self confidence, and two, he was told to act like nothing was happening.
as much as takuto's ready to go, woongki keeps on stalling, asking him questions about school ("i don't go anymore"), work ("i hate my dance class teacher"), and even his love life ("what's a date?").
clearly, woongki's going a little insane. he's pacing around the kitchen like he's training for a 5 hour treadmill session, holding his phone practically 1 inch away from his eyes, and he looks even more derranged now that he ran out of casual questions to ask takuto.
as he paces, he eventually makes his way over to haruto, and starts going around the coffee table.
"where the hell is krystian?" woongki hisses through grit teeth.
"are you oka–"
haruto can't finish before woongki bossily shushes him, "nothing's happening, remember?"
apparently, he wasn't allowed to talk, so haruto kept his mouth shut. after about 16 more laps around the living room, and 5 more times cursing krystian under his breath, woongki finally stops short, a smile quickly painting his face.
"oh anthonny!~" woongki calls out sweetly, "you have a visitor!"
the door to anthonny's room opens almost right away.
"woongki? when did you get here?" anthonny remarked, and haruto had to stop himself from jumping after seeing him.
anthonny was clearly not expecting anyone; he'd changed into pajamas, and he had a sheet mask messily plastered onto his face, hair pushed back with a keroppi headband. there's a bag of popcorn in anthonny's hands, too, which he's continuing to shove into his mouth as he greets woongki. it'd been even longer since those two had seen each other.
"no no, i'm not the visitor, silly!" woongki sings. he then looks at the front door expectantly, but nothing happens. he seems to clench his teeth again, "one second."
woongki strides towards the front door, opening it the slightest bit. he starts bickering with (who haruto assumes to be) krystian. haruto swears he can hear a squawk of "give me back the leftover" as woongki hands over a concerningly large wad of unorganized, probably uncounted money.
after the quick intervention, woongki steps back in the room like nothing happened, shutting the door behind him.
"anthonny! you have a visitor!" he says, clearly way less chirpy than last time.
anthonny just looks even more confused than he was before.
until the door opens, and krystian peeks his head into the dorm, "hi?"
anthonny drops his bag of popcorn, and stands still for a solid 30 seconds.
"KRYSTIAN?!" anthonny chokes out, seeming like he's unsure if he's dreaming or not.
"i missed you, baby," krystian smiles, eyes softened and his arms out, inviting anthonny in for a hug."
anthonny, in the spur of the moment, rips off his sheet mask and throws it to the side as he runs into krystian's embrace.
unfortunately, they don't waste any time before kissing.
can't they wait? not in front of takuto... haruto thinks to himself.
at the thought, he turns to look at takuto and make sure he isn't seeing any of this.
but instead, takuto's beginning to cry because anthonny's sheet mask landed right on his new rainbow butterfly t-shirt, leaving a giant, damp stain.
meanwhile, woongki notices, and immediately runs into haruto's room.
"i swear to god, cha woongki, if you take something out of my closet–"
"nothing's happening, remember?" woongki yells from inside the room.
a minute of crying takuto and kissing anthonny later, and woongki's back with a almost just as rainbow-y t-shirt (that happens to belong to haruto). things are so chaotic already that haruto doesn't even bother arguing about it.
takuto says "thank you" (way louder than necessary, considering the kissing noises), and runs into the bathroom to change.
woongki paces back over to haruto's spot on the couch. "it's working!"
"is it?"
"sure!" woongki says cheerfully, clearly proud of himself.
takuto gets out of the bathroom, smiling ear to ear and taking woongki's hand, practically dragging him towards the door.
"bye haruto!" woongki yells, as he's actively pushing krystian and anthonny out of the door.
he slams the door behind him before haruto can even reply.
good god, that was complicated.
haruto walks over to the couch and sits down.
but before he can even spend two minutes getting comfortable, there's a knock on the door.
ricky.
Notes:
if this fic starts getting more support i may make it into an ongoing fic (yk like one that lasts longer !!) so please do bookmark and leave comments, they're really encouraging so I know i'm not writing to nobody ♡ love u all!! see you in the next chapter 🤞
Chapter 4: butterfly rampage
Chapter Text
haruto is nervous.
and scared, petrified, fearful, every synonym for fear, the lyrics to that inside out 2 fear song (he's fear and he's always scared, okay?).
when it comes to ricky, at least. and all the emotions are getting worse now that he's outside his door, right this second
but besides all that, he also feels his excited. as he'd thought about quite a few times before, he misses ricky.
haruto jumps off the couch, making his way towards the front door. he pauses for a second before opening it, preparing himself. preparing for what? he's not sure.
haruto opens the door, and as he looks up at ricky, he gets that silly tingly feeling in his heart all over again.
he's getting deja vu. this was just like the wakeone netflix incident.
but this time, ricky looks different. the same, but different.
it's only been a year, but it's like he's grown into his features. the lines and angles of his ace even sharper, his eyes a little darker, but still with that glint of love and care they always carried.
and his hair is black. damn, it looks good on him.
"hey," ricky whispers softly.
"hey you, too," haruto beams.
ricky smiles, giving a sort of silent laugh.
haruto can't help but feel nervous when ricky steps foot in his dorm. what if he thinks it's a mess, and he thinks haruto's lazy? what if ricky wants to leave because it's so boring?
but ricky doesn't say anything. he just takes a quick look around and sits himself down on the couch.
haruto's usually awkward, but not this awkward. he stands there in front of ricky, desperately trying to think of a way to calm himself for a minute. because he cannot sit next to ricky in this state (or in any state, but especially not the 'heart squeezing so bad it feels like it's about to stop working' state).
"you, uh... want something to drink?" haruto asks.
–––––––––––
haruto's looking right at him. and suddenly, in that moment, ricky's back in planet camp, gazing down at haruto as he vented out his problems.
but this time, haruto looks more grown up, and his hair is long, and his smile is somehow even brighter than usual.
and this time, there aren't any problems. no worries, nothing to hurt them.
sure, ricky could think of a worry or two. but right then, everything seemed to fade away, like it all was just a distraction, and haruto was what mattered.
they only held eye contact for 5 seconds, but it felt like 5 hours.
it'd been so long since they'd done that. since they'd been in the same room, even.
ricky gulps, "yeah, just... water?" he responds.
haruto pauses, then nods, "water. okay."
he runs over to the kitchen area, "ricky, you can choose what to watch!"
and even though it was a normal instruction, ricky feels his butterflies come back when haruto says his name.
ricky wishes that he had a rewind button so he could hear it one more time.
but that's silly. so ricky shakes the thought off, and chooses something to watch.
there wasn't much available, though. so he just keeps on the first generic-looking kdrama he can find.
neither of them had really decided on a movie. so the kdrama will do.
haruto spends a few minutes in the kitchen, getting drinks and – from the sound of the microwave running – some food, too.
ricky just looks around. so this is where haruto lives. there's blankets strewn across basically every surface, empty cups and bowls littering the tables, and random photos lining the walls.
(there's probably some inside joke involved with the yuto in a fursuit portrait above the tv, but ricky decides it's best not to ask.)
oddly, as disorganized and small as it may be, the dorm still felt nicer than ricky's. it felt lived in, like a real family home. not like zb1 weren't like family to him, – god, they were closer to him than his own mother – their living conditions just weren't good enough to warrant a feeling of home.
ricky was pretty jealous.
haruto comes back a minute later with 2 glasses of water, popcorn, and a bag of gummies. he sits himself down next to ricky, throwing a blanket over himself.
"what's this?" haruto asks, in reference to the tv.
"no idea."
"fair enough," haruto laughs.
ricky secretly hopes that the show isn't too good. because rather than actually having a movie night, he wanted much more to just talk to haruto.
–––––––––––
haruto decides right away that he doesn't care much for this show. he didn't know what was going on; hell, this was probably episode 12 or something.
and he'd much rather catch up with ricky.
"so, how'd getting out of the dorm go?"
"it wasn't that hard, actually. the manager went out crying over some girl, he didn't look like he was coming back."
haruto laughs pretty hard at this, hitting ricky's arm.
haruto notices, but doesn't comment on, how ricky gets redder the more he smiles at haruto's reaction.
"well," ricky continues, "it must've been harder to get everyone out, huh?"
"right. woongki helped."
"oh no."
"right," haruto ennunciates.
they both giggle at this, meeting eyes again briefly.
"what'd he do?" ricky asks.
"he sent yuto to babysit his cat, took takuto to an arcade, and anthonny's out with krystian doing, uh, god knows what."
"are anthonny and krystian, like, a thing?"
"yeah! oh my god, i didn't tell you! they've been, like, e-dating since february."
"really?" ricky smiles, but it looks slightly forced, maybe even a little stressed, "good for them."
"yeah," haruto falters, slightly confused by ricky's reaction.
ricky's eyes suddenly widen. "what about your manager? where is he?"
haruto's eyes widen even more, somehow. "oh shit."
he does some thinking. where is the manager? he's screwed.
but he comes to a good realization just a minute later. "oh yeah! he's been out of the dorm for the past, like, 2 days. i heard him talking on the phone about it, he's staying at some girl named chaewon's place."
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ricky's brows furrow slightly. why did chaewon sound familiar?
"well, that's good," ricky says. he thinks about it for a second, and realizes it probably sounds wrong, "i mean, like, you won't have to worry about getting in trouble, yeah."
haruto's cheeks tinge pink the slightest bit, just enough to be visible in the pale lighting.
it's pitch black outside the window, and even though one of the living room lamps is still on, it's still pretty dark. the main source of light in the room was the tv.
ricky looks over at haruto, who's now focused on the show. the soft light coming from the tv was just enough to show the outline of haruto's nose, his lips brought up in the slightest, seemingly natural smile.
the deja vu comes back again.
ricky had looked at him like this so often. when they'd sat next to each other at lunch, when they were across the room from each other during evaluations, when they were both in the waiting room, haruto getting his makeup done.
ricky had always looked, because to him, it calmed him down. seeing how haruto's lashes fluttered each time he blinked, the slope of his nose, his lips, everything. ricky found comfort in it, since it was always the same. always the same haruto, that he liked talking to, that was the only one he could talk to about some things. the haruto that he trusted with his life, even after only knowing him for a fraction of it.
in that moment, not the moments before, not anything from planet camp,
right then, as they sat next to each other on the couch, and haruto was next to him again. still looking the same, acting the same. he's still the same haruto.
as haruto looked ahead, laughing at some joke from the show that ricky couldn't care less about,
ricky knew right then and there that he did like maeda haruto.
he likes him so much.
so he wants nothing more than to be close again. to talk again, to be something more than the occasional text, the few exchanged words each week.
ricky doesn’t want to live separate lives anymore.
he wants to feel like this all the time; the way he feels with haruto.
he wants to always feel the warm sensation that came when they were near, the feeling of his heartbeat speeding up whenever haruto said his name.
and more than anything, he never wants the butterflies to go away.
–––––––––––
haruto can't help but feel like this entire situation was awkward.
the show they were watching sucked, they were just sitting there, and neither of them had anything to say.
well, haruto did. he just found it hard to get his words out while he was around ricky. which is weird, because he's usually pretty talkative.
while he was looking around the room, desperately trying to conjure up a topic to discuss, he notices how they hadn't even touched the popcorn yet.
so haruto grabs the popcorn bowl.
"want some?"
ricky looks the slightest bit startled, as his eyes seem to dart over to haruto, "ah, sure."
haruto places down the bowl of popcorn between them, grabbing a bit for himself.
unfortunately, the popcorn doesn't help start a conversation.
haruto wishes popcorn could talk. maybe that'd make things easier.
he sits through another few minutes of the god-awful show – it was so cliche, haruto could predict every plot point moment for moment. male lead ryu kihyun is coming over to childhood friend han ruah's house after years of not seeing each other; anyone with a brain can tell that they're gonna realize they like each other and kiss or some shit.
what?
haruto reaches down to grab another handful of popcorn, but he wasn't looking very well; so he grabs ricky's hand instead of the popcorn.
the rational reaction would be to move his hand. but haruto can't really bring himself to; it's like his brain is urging him to keep it there. for what? for the plot?
ricky doesn't move either, and upon further inspection, he actually looks pretty frozen. if ricky were a popsicle, he'd have freezer burn right now.
haruto finally comes to his senses after around 11 seconds and takes his hand out of the popcorn bowl.
great. now the atmosphere was even more awkward. great job, popcorn.
–––––––––––
holding haruto's hand didn't help ricky calm down whatsoever.
ricky knows he shouldn't be this over the moon about holding someone's hand inside a popcorn bowl.
but it was haruto. it was somewhat fitting, considering how haruto is.
this doesn't make ricky feel any more normal about it.
haruto's hand was so warm. and it was smaller than his, but still felt so reassuring.
ricky likes holding people's hands already, although he'd never admit it.
so thinking about doing it with haruto, who was already so comforting to him, made ricky's butterflies go on a rampage.
fuck it, he really does like haruto.
what's he supposed to do about it, though?
it's not like he can say anything now; if haruto said he didn't feel the same, what would ricky do? just say "okay" and stay there?
and, anyways, he'd prefer to stay inside his head a little longer. imagining doing things with haruto was much easier than initiating them.
so if they have to stay like this for a while – ricky liking haruto, haruto not knowing – it's fine.
ricky will tell him someday.
not today. it's too much of a burden; he'd much rather enjoy their time together, and not risk making it feel any more awkward.
–––––––––––
haruto's confused. why can he suddenly not focus on the show? not like he was paying too much attention to it in the first place, but it's like his mind keeps drifting off. like that weird force is back, telling him all these weird ass things that he should definitely not do.
why the hell is his brain telling him "ricky so cute! look how cute! so kissable!", though? that wasn't something haruto had to ponder about for so long! he knew all that already!
but the thoughts get the best of him, and suddenly, they're progressing.
you could kiss him if you wanted to. he's right there. might as well try. then you'll know if you like him, right?
was the force in his mind named cha woongki or something? because it was almost as annoying about the liking-ricky shit.
but, despite his better judgement, haruto kind of agrees.
he could kiss ricky, if he wanted to.
that doesn't mean he's going to, but he could.
haruto looks over at ricky. he swears he can see ricky's head turning away the second he looks.
ricky looks nice. but acknowledging that isn't a sign haruto likes him; that's just a known fact. ricky shen is hot, sky is blue, fork found in kitchen, et cetera.
he's just so... ricky. his eyes are pretty. the way his hair is falling into his face is pretty. his lips are kissab– damn you, brain force.
while he was – very much against his will – thinking about how he'd like to kiss ricky, haruto notices that ricky's staring right back at him. haruto jumps a little bit when they make eye contact.
"what?" ricky questions.
"what- what do you mean what," haruto laughs awkwardly. he looks away.
"you were looking at me weird," ricky mumbles. he grabs a few more pieces of popcorn.
"what? sorry, i was just- thinking. yeah, thinking."
haruto yells at himself internally. force in my brain, are you trying to dig my grave?
"about what?" ricky presses. he throws the popcorn into his mouth.
haruto was going to think carefully about his answer. say something that'll get him off the hook, not make him sound weird, maybe start a conversation, not make things more awkward.
but at the same time, the irrational part of his brain was faster than the properly-functioning part.
so, very cleverly and normally, haruto blurts out,
"kissing you."
was the force in his brain a fucking mortician?
ricky violently chokes on his popcorn.
haruto is suddenly not as quick with his actions as he was 5 seconds ago. it takes him a minute to realize, yeah, i probably shouldn't let him die of oxygen loss over there.
he reaches over and hits ricky on the back – the only anti-choking method he can remember – and ricky eventually quiets down.
ricky takes a sip of his water, swallowing more harshly than usual. he looks back to haruto.
"what did you say?" ricky asks, eyes slightly wider than before. and is he trembling?
"nothing," haruto stammers, stuttering at least 5 times for the single word.
ricky's expression showed that he was not buying it.
haruto's nervous all over again.
ricky looks around for a second, then looks back to haruto.
haruto notices that they're somwhat closer now, after he'd moved over to pat ricky's back.
ricky clears his throat, and speaks very slowly, "what was that about... kissing?"
haruto knows it's over for him now. no going back. but he tries to save himself, still.
"i just– i don't know. i wasn't- wasn't really thinking about... that. my brain just said it."
"it's okay," ricky whispers.
haruto isn't sure if he heard him right. what was okay?!
ricky seems to notice the confusion on haruto's face. he also seems to realize what he just said, and winces.
“i mean, like. i'm not weirded out that you said it, i just… why did you?” ricky questions.
“i didn't mean…” haruto sighs loudly, pressing his hand against his forehead in a very painful looking facepalm.
“i won't judge you,” ricky insists. the deer-in-headlights expression on his face isn't making his words very convincing.
but haruto knows he has to say something. or else things will be even more awkward, and ricky will leave, and they probably won't talk again for a long time, and haruto maeda will cry every night.
“i don't know why… like, my mind just keeps,” haruto begins, pausing for at least 4 seconds between each word, like he's choosing them very carefully, “thinking about doing that with you. i don't know if that's actually something i want to do, but…” haruto trails off.
ricky sits there for a minute, not looking at haruto. as if he’s wondering whether or not he should do something. when haruto looks, there's something different in ricky’s gaze, but haruto can't really pinpoint it as any specific emotion. and he’s too busy admiring ricky’s side profile to decipher anything.
ricky slowly looks over to haruto, meeting his eyes. haruto would've looked away, but something’s keeping him looking. just like with that hand-touching-thing; it's like two parts of his brain are fighting for power over him, and the less rational side always wins.
ricky parts his lips, but doesn't say anything. he closes them again.
haruto doesn't pressure him. he still doesn't break eye contact, though, which is starting to get the slightest bit intimidating.
haruto isn’t sure what he expected ricky to say. what are you supposed to say when someone confesses they've been having impulsive thoughts about kissing you?
but the very last thing haruto expected to hear from ricky was,
“we could try it.”
Chapter Text
haruto is nervous.
and embarrassed.
he wishes he has a rewind button.
or a magical watch from some auction that’ll send him back to year 2008 so he can make sure he never embarrasses himself in front of shen quanrui, ever.
but he doesn’t.
“what?”
haruto can’t bring himself to say anything other than this. oddly, he felt like he was in some sort of strangely realistic fever dream. because why the hell did ricky just agree to kiss him?
(not like he has dreams about kissing ricky. that was just a one time thing, okay?)
ricky doesn’t say anything, either. the vibes are, evidently, even more awkward than any other moment that night.
god, can he please say something?
haruto, trying to calm himself down even the slightest bit, turns to the tv to resume watching worst kdrama of the year.
unfortunately, ryu kihyun and han ruah are now kissing on the couch. how relevant.
haruto rushes to find the remote and turn the show off. way to add insult to injury.
but as the music swells and the camera angle changes 17 times, haruto cannot find the remote.
he tries to not make it look to obvious that he’s panicking. but judging by the fact he’s rapidly moving his head, scanning the room, and half standing up, it probably is pretty obvious.
but then haruto looks over to ricky.
and, to his dismay, ricky had the remote.
haruto sighs. he can’t just rip the remote out of ricky’s hands; that’d be even more embarrassing than watching the kiss scene in full.
he might as well just face it. they can’t just sit there forever.
so haruto decides to ask ricky to elaborate. again.
which is easier said than done, because each time he opens his mouth to ask something like, “what do you mean, we can try?” “did you want to kiss me too? why?”, it’s like the words get stuck in his throat.
cat’s got his tongue. and the cat is ricky.
haruto takes another look towards the tv, and tries to casually take a sip of water as if nothing had happened (the glass of water was empty, so it didn’t end up being very casual), hoping that ricky would say something that’d fix everything.
ricky did not say shit.
haruto looks up, taking a deep breath. he’s gonna have to do it.
so he clears his throat, and says the easiest thing that his brain can manage at the moment:
“what do you mean?”
–––––––––––
in this moment, ricky wants to disappear. to bury himself into a hole and never come out.
why did he say that?
sure, haruto mentioned the kissing first. but there surely was a better response ricky could’ve come up with.
so when haruto asks what he meant, ricky’s too in-his-head, too embarrassed, to try and save himself here. he’s far gone, haruto knows he’s willing to kiss him, ricky can’t possibly make this any worse. so he gives in and replies.
“i mean, like… we could try it. it doesn’t have to mean anything,” ricky lies.
it would mean something. to ricky, at least. he isn’t sure if that something would be positive or negative yet, but he decides not to dwell on it too much.
as expected, haruto still looks just as nerved up and uncomfortable as he did before. he doesn’t reply.
and ricky’s heart continues to break into fragments around the edges. this wasn’t the haruto he wanted to see.
so ricky looks down again. this was so bad. how can ricky get out of there? haruto obviously doesn’t want him there anymore, right?
he ruined everything. the room felt cold, despite it being the middle of summer. just unbearably, brutally cold. ricky knows that he’ll think about this day a lot. he can picture it now; backstage at a music show in a year, still thinking about how painful the last time he talked to maeda haruto was.
ricky tries to calm himself down. but his brain associates calm with haruto. and it’s a bit hard to calm down thoughts of haruto with other thoughts of haruto; it’s like fighting fire with fire.
but he still continues, and goes back to the oddly specific, oddly vivid memories of haruto that remain in the back of his mind.
and the thought of those don’t really help, but make things worse. the fact that haruto's silent isn’t helping.
–––––––––––
haruto knows he’s the one who’s supposed to be responding. but it’s like he’s waiting for some sort of confirmation that ricky really is okay with kissing.
good god, haruto wasn’t worrying about any of this 10 minutes ago. why did the voice in his head have to suggest the idea of kissing? let alone force haruto to mutter the thoughts aloud?
haruto realizes after a while, once he looks at ricky, that he looks absolutely mortified. like he wants to go home immediately.
and haruto can’t take it. so, suddenly, his brain grants him the ability to speak again, and he does. carefully, though. handpicking each word from his mind’s currently limited thesaurus.
“i’m okay with it if you are,” haruto says warily, trying to meet ricky’s gaze; and he does.
ricky lifts his head up, and seemingly waits a second before looking towards haruto. his eyes have this strange look to them; still awkward, but at the same time… relieved? it was weird.
“i’m sorry for making it weird,” haruto winces, bowing his head down sheepishly.
“no, it’s okay,” ricky says, having noticeably calmed down a bit, “just… can i ask one thing?”
haruto hesitates, “yeah?”
“why do you want to do that?”
haruto gulps. does he tell the truth, woongki interventions and all? or does he make up a better-sounding excuse?
he decides to tell the truth. because he trusted ricky.
they were best friends at one point, after all.
“well, woongki is convinced that i like you. and it’s like my brain keeps forcing it onto me,” haruto admits, “whenever i look at you, and it’s really, like, distracting, i guess?”
he’s silent for a second. then continues, “and i kinda want to see if he’s right.”
“right about what?”
“if i really do like you.”
–––––––––––
ricky feels like his heart has been malfunctioning for this entire conversation. well, the entire monologue, as ricky couldn’t even bring himself to talk.
it’s a little hard to process all at once, especially since ricky was just starting to realize his own feelings. now haruto thinks he might like ricky?
and he wants to kiss him to find out?
but in the back of his mind, behind all the thoughts of embarrassment and shame and awkwardness, there’s a part of ricky that really, really wants to kiss haruto. that’s wanted to kiss him ever since they met.
so he isn’t going to throw this opportunity away.
“okay. do you want to… now?” ricky meets haruto’s gaze, who nods slowly, not looking away for even a second.
ricky turns toward haruto. slowly, carefully.
he moves over closer, until haruto’s sat against the corner of the couch, head resting on the cushion behind his head. ricky’s to his right, legs crossed and leaning in further toward haruto.
and he ever so lightly places his hand on haruto’s arm.
he isn’t sure what to do after that.
sure, he’d kissed a few people before. but it wasn’t like this.
before, ricky hadn’t put as much thought into it. it was just something that couples did, and it felt nice, and gave his heart a slight pick-me-up.
but now it felt like something was off. like his whole life was at stake. was it because it’d been a while? or was it just because it was haruto?
to make it even more confusing, this wasn’t even an actual kiss, really.
ricky and haruto weren’t together. not even anything close to that.
it was just to ease haruto’s curiousity; which, honestly, was a bit strange in itself. do people do that? can friends just… practice kiss, to see if their brain was right?
but he isn’t going to let this moment go, no matter how scared he is about it.
since, after all, it was haruto.
ricky can’t lose what he has with him. especially now that he’s pretty sure he has a thing for haruto.
but it kind of seemed like a losing game.
because what if haruto doesn’t like it, and it doesn’t feel right, and it makes him feel weird and even more awkward around ricky?
and what if he does like it? then what?
ricky doesn’t want to get too ahead of himself, but he also can’t help but acknowledge that it’d probably be extremely difficult to date.
not that ricky’s ready to date haruto yet. and especially not that haruto wants to date him.
this is just a test, nothing’s going to come out of it, ricky reminds himself.
“can i?” ricky asks, much more confidently than he really feels inside.
“yeah,” haruto says. he’s looking up at ricky.
and again, in that moment, ricky’s reminded of all the times they’d spent together before.
how much he’d liked haruto’s presence. how much he’d liked haruto.
how much he still likes haruto.
so ricky leads his lips the slightest bit closer to haruto’s.
and he kisses him.
ricky can feel his heart begin to soar, feeling like the butterflies have escaped, rather than having beaten their wings at the cage of his heart.
but it ends all too soon. it was a short kiss – short and sweet, gentle – but it still felt unreal.
and when ricky pulls his head back, haruto looks frozen. ricky can’t read his expression.
is he okay? did he hate it? did i do something wrong?
and ricky suddenly feels guilty all over again.
“i’m sorry, did i–”
ricky can’t finish before haruto starts fervently shaking his head.
“no,” he responds, quite loudly, subconciously licking his lips, “i… do it again.”
ricky’s eyes widen. what? “really?”
haruto grabs ricky’s shoulders, and he leans in.
but he doesn’t kiss him. he looks up at ricky once, then away, like he’s embarrassed in his own actions.
ricky doesn’t take time to think before he kisses haruto again. and it’s not ‘short and sweet’ this time.
ricky gently wraps a hand around the back of haruto’s neck as he presses their lips together.
evidently, haruto hadn’t had much experience. he takes a moment before kissing back, and it’s like his lips can’t find the right pressure to give, and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, and is just unsure in general.
but ricky doesn’t care. he doesn’t give a damn.
because now that he’s kissing him, he can’t go back.
it’s like ricky’s pouring out all of his thoughts, all his memories and feelings about haruto, into this kiss. so he continues, gently guiding haruto along.
ricky places his free hand on haruto’s waist, rubbing gentle circles as if saying, “you’re doing well.”
and with each second that goes by, haruto gets more confident, more adventurous. it’s evident once he tugs on ricky’s shoulder, bringing him even closer, and gives an experimental tap of his tongue to ricky’s lower lip.
ricky would usually be flustered and out of it by now. but something about haruto made him willing to comply, willing to part his lips and wait to see what haruto would do next.
despite how sure-of-himself haruto had seemed, it’s obvious that he isn’t sure how to proceed. he shys away the slightest bit, looking at ricky.
haruto doesn’t say it, but ricky can tell that he isn’t really confident enough to take the lead.
so ricky helps out. he brings their lips back together, eventually working his way into haruto’s mouth, as he gently touches their tongues together.
and ricky’s completely sure of haruto’s inexperience when he lets out the slightest moan at the sensation.
that gives ricky the motivation to continue further.
haruto tastes like watermelon chapstick, cola and popcorn. yeah, it’s mainly because of the movie night food, sure, but it was also quite fitting for haruto.
ricky had thought of doing this a lot. the thoughts came quite impulsively, sort of like how haruto’s had.
and this felt way better than he could have imagined.
as deep as it was becoming, it was still messy. nothing was organized, nothing planned. but it was okay. it was good. ricky wouldn’t care if he was the worst kisser on earth; because he was haruto.
and as the minutes go by, the more desperate ricky feels. like he needed more, more, more, despite just how far they were already going.
he’s wanted this for so long.
–––––––––––
haruto feels like he’s flying.
like he’s on cloud 9.
he didn’t expect to like kissing this much.
and he isn’t sure if it’s because of the fact it’s his first real kiss, or if it was because of ricky.
which wasn’t very helpful in his plan of ‘figuring out if he likes ricky.’
but he doesn’t care. because the one thing he knows for sure is that he likes this.
ricky’s lips were just as soft as he’d imagined. they felt good. and it seemed like he knew what he was doing; something about that made haruto’s heart hammer.
haruto knows damn well that he’s probably the worst kisser on earth in ricky’s eyes. as much as haruto liked it, kissing was scary, – he never knew what to do next, his mind kept going blank – so he mainly put his trust in ricky to lead.
and god, was it hot.
was that a thought which people with crushes have?
or is it a naturally occuring thought that comes to anyone who sees ricky being in control?
how many people had seen ricky in control before?
but haruto doesn’t have the will, or the power, to ponder that right now. because the only thoughts on his mind were ricky, ricky, ricky; the scent of his cologne was even stronger than usual, and the fabric of his clothes was so soft. haruto felt like he was drowning in him. drunk off ricky, high off ricky. he was taking up all haruto’s senses, and in those moments, there was nothing but ricky in his world.
alright, that’s probably not a normal friendly thought.
it also doesn’t help when ricky pulls back, and haruto can see him; gasping for air, a slight sweat dripping down his forehead, eyes looking predatory.
but haruto likes it. it feels new, feels exciting.
he just wants to stay like that for a while. just him and ricky. he wants to keep trying things, keep feeding the adrenaline rising within him.
so while ricky's still calming down, haruto presses a small kiss against his lips.
ricky looks shocked, but a good kind of shocked. he smirks, not saying a word but clearly saying with his eyes; “so that's how you wanna play?”
ricky kisses haruto in the same fashion; swiftly, pulling away right after and observing haruto's expression.
haruto’s embarrassingly red.
they do this a few more times, giggling to themselves.
but ricky suddenly stops. and he looks as if he's contemplating something.
haruto doesn't do anything further, waiting for ricky to coke back from his thoughts.
and then he does. ricky clears his throat, “did you… like it?”
haruto can feel himself getting redder, for some reason. even his ears are starting to tinge.
as time goes on, haruto's beginning to notice what that “some reason” is.
haruto replies after his brain kindly reminds him, we trust ricky! we also just kissed him on the mouth!
“yeah. it was nice,” haruto avoids ricky's eyes when he notices the implications of his words. but what is he supposed to say? ‘eh, lame’? because that's not true.
ricky smiles slightly, “good,” but then goes silent again.
he takes a deep breath.
“so do you think he was right?”
haruto freezes again. the question alone is scary enough, not to mention the fact ricky's still sat right in front of his face.
“i…” haruto trails off.
haruto thinks for a moment.
does he like ricky?
what would change if he says that he does?
the sound of a knock on the door instantly takes haruto out of his head.
the hell? who was that?
haruto doesn't get up. because, one, he's comfortable. and two, what if the person at the door is a kidnapper or something?
haruto's still scared though. he would've jumped if not for ricky being half on his lap at this point.
he comes to his senses after a moment or so. it's probably just the manager, i can just hide ricky and it'll be fine.
“who is it?” haruto calls out.
“GIRL, WHY AREN'T YOU PICKING UP YOUR PHONE!”
was that woongki?
in a strange state of confusion and fear, haruto picks up his phone from the side table. surely enough, he had 4 missed calls and 12 new texts from user @woongkiboii0423.
was it really woongki, though? what if it's an elaborate kidnapping attempt?
haruto hears the jangling of keys and the turn of the doorknob.
the door opens.
it's woongki, spare keys in hand and takuto behind him.
woongki drops his bag to the ground upon seeing haruto and ricky. his eyes widen, jaw dropping to the ground as well.
“maeda haruto, what the hell?!” woongki shrieks.
haruto's in trouble.
Notes:
i've never written a full-on kiss scene please bear with me here ! i'll keep practicing 🙏
Chapter Text
haruto was nervous.
what the hell was he supposed to do now?
at first, he tries to reassure himself that it’ll be okay. he can just send ricky home, give a vague recap to woongki, avoiding any mention of the kissing.
except then haruto realizes it’ll probably be harder to get out of questioning when woongki just walked in on him with ricky on his lap.
there isn’t really a good, normal explanation for that.
mainly because it isn’t a very normal activity in the first place.
with that in mind, haruto isn’t really sure how to save himself on this one. so he doesn’t say anything as woongki stands in the doorway, mouth open wider than the grand canyon or some shit. doesn’t say anything as ricky quietly gets off of him, sitting down on the couch beside him while feigning nonchalant-ness.
it doesn’t work. the tension in the air is noticeable, tangible, – to haruto, at least – so much so that he swears he can hear crickets over the faint sound of the tv.
oh yeah, the tv. haruto decides to take a glance, since he had forgotten it was even on.
to his disgust, the kdrama episode had ended, and was followed up by another, noticeably more mature drama. why the hell is this even allowed on tv?
haruto thanks the heavens that the tv isn’t visible from the front door. that at least saves him from a little bit of woongki investigation.
speaking of woongki investigation, haruto’s surprised that woongki hasn’t asked any more questions by now. although it’s probably because takuto’s still standing behind him looking like a lost child.
so haruto decides that if woongki isn’t ready to question him yet, he’ll question woongki instead.
haruto clears his throat, “i thought you told me to tell you when to come back?”
woongki, still in shock, visibly composes himself before replying, “well, yeah, but there’s an emergency at my house. i have to drop takuto off now.”
“an emergency?”
woongki glances around the room, nodding frantically, “yeah! yuto, uh… he had an allergic reaction to the cat! i have to go back home, like, now.”
“he isn’t allergic to cats though?”
“yes he is?” woongki defends.
haruto narrows his eyes, “girl, he had a cat in middle school. he’s fine.”
“what? no he didn’t–”
“why are you really here?” haruto asks, exasperated.
woongki zips his lips. he glances over to ricky, seemingly analyzing his expression.
haruto looks at ricky, who now looks half amused, half intimidated.
“well, i’ll get going now!” woongki suddenly chirps, ushering takuto into the room and slamming the door before haruto can ask any more questions.
somehow, the vibes are now even more awkward than when haruto had suggested kissing.
haruto looks to ricky, who’s asking with his eyes; “what now?”
haruto waves him off, as if saying, “i’ll figure it out.”
he turns his attention to takuto, who’s still standing near the front door with a kicked-puppy expression.
“you okay?” haruto asks in concern.
“i wasn’t done at the arcade yet,” takuto pouts, “i was about to get 900 tickets from pac man…”
haruto frowns, “i’m sorry… i’ll take you next time, okay? woongki’s no fun.”
takuto nods in agreement. “he isn’t very rizz,” he comments, with a very serious expression.
haruto gives a pained smile. evidently, his prayers for takuto to erase the word “rizz” from his vocabulary haven’t been working.
on the other hand, ricky starts ijboling beside him. haruto’s sure he hasn’t seen ricky laugh this hard since the planet camp gossip session days.
ricky’s so cute; eyes crinkled up as he smiles, hand over his mouth. hell, haruto could kiss him again right then and there.
haruto then realizes he probably shouldn’t be giving ricky love eyes with takuto in the room. he averts his gaze, just to see takuto looking back at him with suspicion clear on his face.
god, woongki is not a good influence on him.
“i’m gonna sleep,” takuto states, although not making any moves from the spot he was standing in. he stays there for at least 30 seconds before haruto intervenes.
“okay,” he says slowly, “goodnight.”
“goodnight!” takuto smiles. he skips off to his room.
why was he waiting for approval? are we his parents?
once takuto shuts the door to his room, it’s silent again in the living room. it’s like the post-kiss-inquiry all over again.
haruto coughs.
ricky’s either suddenly taken an interest in toz’s potted plants, or using all his willpower to avoid making eye contact with haruto.
neither of them are very sure how to proceed.
first off, the interrupted ‘platonic’ makeout session was kind of a mood kill.
and anyways, even if it didn’t kill the mood, they can’t kiss again. there’s a child in the house.
and even though much time is going by, neither of them can bring themselves to even discuss the kissing.
this is awkward.
–––––––––––
ricky’s embarrassed.
he wants to spend the rest of his time with haruto well, to make the best of it, but with the sudden change in mood, he finds it difficult to continue.
especially since his question still remained unanswered.
and he can’t find the courage to ask again.
so he sits there, hoping for haruto to restart a conversation; to say something funny, to make everything happy again.
but haruto’s at a loss for words, too. so they don’t get anywhere.
out of habit, and nerves, ricky checks his phone.
since when was it midnight?
ricky sighs. he’d have to get back to his dorm soon; after all, what would the manager think if he came back home and realizes ricky wasn’t there?
ricky did not need another wakeone search party.
(last time that happened, ricky got banned from his favorite ice cream place for public disturbance, at the hands of 5 zb1 pr managers breaking the door down in order to bring ricky to practice. they also yelled at the staff about how they shouldn’t be feeding idols such junk food, and one of the cashiers asked who zerobaseone was. that experience wasn’t very fun.)
so, with that in mind, ricky decides he should probably get out of there now, for the sake of his ego and the vibes in the room.
“should i leave?” ricky asks softly.
“no!” haruto blurts out, “i mean, you don’t have to stay– sorry.”
“my manager’s probably mad as hell,” ricky sighs, “i kinda have to.”
“you’re right,” haruto says. he doesn’t look very happy about it.
ricky wordlessly prepares himself to leave, putting his things back in his bag. but as he’s looking for his lip gloss, he happens to see outside the window.
it’s pitch black outside, which should’ve been clear to ricky by now.
i can’t walk home like that… he thinks to himself.
haruto seems to pick up on ricky’s worries, “it’s too dark, huh?”
ricky clicks his tongue, “yeah…”
“i can get you an uber–”
“at this time of night? i’ll get kidnapped,” ricky groans, “that’s part of the idol experience.”
haruto laughs.
but he stops laughing after around 10 seconds, so the room’s back to silence.
“so are you gonna stay?” haruto asks. ricky nods.
“i can sleep on the couch,” ricky says.
haruto shakes his head, “no, no, you can take my bed. you’re the guest.”
ricky decides it’s best to not argue further. “okay. which room?”
“the one with takuto,” haruto answers, pointing him in the right direction.
“thanks,” ricky says quietly, heading off to haruto’s room.
haruto doesn’t say anything else.
why were they acting like they hadn’t just kissed a few minutes ago?
ricky knocks on the door. after getting a (quite loud) “yes?” from takuto, he opens it and enters the room.
he looks over to takuto, who’s sitting on his bed and smiling.
“ricky!”
ricky smiles.
“why are you here!”
ricky un-smiles.
“well, i have to stay the night. you don’t mind if i sleep in here, right?”
“that’s okay,” takuto says, “but what were you hanging out with haruto for?”
ricky coughs. how does he explain this truthfully, but undetailed?
“we were just watching a movie and stuff. not much.” ricky sits down on the other bed, placing his bag on the floor.
a minute passes.
“why were you really here? do you like him or something?”
ricky’s eyes widen. was it really that obvious?
he denies it anyway, “no, it’s not like that. we just… haven’t seen each other in a while.”
takuto hums, and he turns his attention back to his laptop.
ricky gives a sigh of relief. thank god he didn’t get asked any more questio–
“it’s okay if you like haruto, you’re cool,” takuto remarks.
ricky’s scared from how easily takuto could tell what was going on. but he’s also grateful that takuto’s at least taking it well.
it’d been so long since he’d last talked to takuto. hell, their last real conversation was during preparations for rush hour team. and that was practically decades ago.
takuto’s a good kid, he wouldn’t be too difficult about the liking haruto business.
“thanks, kuto,” ricky grins.
“you’re welcome!” takuto smiles back, “you’re so rizz!”
ricky almost dies laughing, again.
he lays down on the bed. it's nice; the pillows still hold haruto’s scent.
as ricky gets comfortable, he can't help but think back to his kisses with haruto.
was that even real?
ricky finds himself smiling at the thought of haruto.
he wishes they hadn't been interrupted.
he wonders what would've happened if they hadn’t.
–––––––––––
haruto sighs loudly as soon as ricky shuts the door.
he throws himself down onto the couch, all his awkward feelings and anxiety mixing together to make one big glass of embarrassed haruto milkshake.
and like clockwork, right when he picks up his phone, he gets another call from woongki.
he begrudgingly picks up, putting the phone to his ear. he doesn't hear anything.
he puts the phone on speaker, in hopes of hearing better.
but of course, as soon as he does so, woongki decides it's perfect timing to yell “HI!”.
haruto jumps 17 feet into the air, scrambling to turn his volume down, “woongki, what the hell?! some of us have ears, you know!”
for some reason, haruto can hear heavy breathing.
“oh really?” woongki pants, “had no… idea!”
“what are you doing?”
“going home!”
“are you running?! it's the middle of the night!”
“i have to get home! you know, to save yuto from the cat!”
haruto doesn't say anything.
“actually, i might go and check on anthonny and krystian at the hotel first,” woongki thinks aloud.
“no.”
“why not? i need to make sure they're safe. and being saf–"
"woongki, they're gonna beat your ass. go home."
woongki sighs loudly, and haruto can imagine how hard his eyes are rolling right now.
"only if you tell me what happened," woongki bargained.
"so that wasn't why you were calling in the first place?"
"of course it was, silly! just got sidetracked. well, did ricky go home?"
"it's too late, so he's staying over."
"what?!" woongki shouts, "are you sleeping togethe–"
"no. i'm letting him have my bed. i'm on the couch."
"that's a stupid sleepover."
"what am i supposed to do?!"
"sleep with him, duh!"
"takuto is here!"
"i didn't mean it like that! mind out of the gutter, hart!"
haruto throws his head back in annoyance.
"okay, so," woongki continues, "what happened during movie night?"
haruto's hesitant to share any details.
should he talk about how they kissed?
probably not.
he could, sure; but then woongki would tease him about it, and it wouldn't feel as special anymore.
and haruto likes the feeling of having a secret with ricky.
so he tries his best to give un-detailed details.
"well, he came in and... chose a show... and we just sat on the couch and had popcorn, really," haruto lies.
"that's boring as hell," woongki whines, clearly dissatisfied with the lack of gossip.
haruto contemplates whether he should tell him about the hand-holding.
hand-holding isn't as secretive, right?
"and... we both went to grab popcorn at the same time and we kinda like– held hands?"
woongki squeals.
haruto's ears almost fall off. unfortunately, cha woongki doesn't come with a built-in volume warning.
"that's so cute!" woongki gushes, "for how long!? what did it feel like?! did it look like he liked it!?"
haruto calculates, "a minute... nice... and kinda?"
"did anything else happen?"
haruto's caught off guard, even though he knew damn well that this was coming. he knows he wants to lie, but how does he lie convincingly?
"no, not really... we sat really close together though. and talked," haruto lists off. on second thought, he adds, "and we looked at each other a couple times."
"REALLY?!" woongki shrieks, "i should've been there!"
"you really shouldn't have."
woongki scoffs, "geez. so much for being nice and trying to set you up."
"alright, alright," haruto groans, "it was nice. thanks for helping."
"of course!" woongki replies,"well, do you have an answer?"
"to what?"
"if you like him, you dumbass!"
–––––––––––
ricky can't fall asleep.
he's never been good at sleeping anywhere that wasn't his own bed. and his night owl tendencies didn't help with that, either.
so he lay awake, unsure what to do with himself.
every now and then, he remembers that he's in haruto's bed. and the thought of that makes him feel both giddy and like he's breaching haruto's privacy.
all these months of barely any contact, and now here he is, sleeping at haruto's dorm, in haruto's bed, with haruto just in the other room.
if ricky told his july 2023 self about all this, he'd surely not believe him (he wouldn't bother with the kissing part, because that'd send his past self into cardiac arrest).
the kissing part is still making ricky question if this night was even real. for all he knows, he could've fallen asleep while getting ready in the dorms, and he might've never left, and this could all be a dream.
but no amount of pinching is waking him back up.
which makes ricky happy.
so as he struggles to sleep, he replays the memories in his head; how haruto felt, his scent, his taste.
and especially how he'd looked.
when haruto had pulled back, hair a mess, eyes closed slightly, and his lips wet, breathing heavily to recover from the kiss, ricky thought he looked better than any other time he'd seen him.
ricky feels himself blush. and he feels his thoughts start to go back to "haruto, haruto, haruto".
until he hears a yell. what was that?
it was faint, but loud enough for him to notice.
it didn't really sound like haruto, either, which was strange.
ricky listens harder, trying to gather more clues about what had just happened.
judging by the fact haruto's talking to himself, with long pauses between his words, he's probably on the phone.
ricky knows it's woongki. it's obvious – he'd just crashed their movie night so he could get things to interrogate haruto about.
ricky's observant. he also has eyes and ears.
he knows he probably shouldn't be eavesdropping (what is he, a snowman?). but there isn't much else to do. and it's hard not to pay attention to now that he's noticed it.
so ricky listens for a little longer, since he knows he probably won't drift off to sleep any time soon anyway.
"to what?" he hears haruto say.
a pause. a pretty long one.
haruto either had nothing to say, or woongki was yapping more than usual.
"i might?"
another pause.
ricky was getting impatient, and he wasn't sure why. hell, he couldn't even hear half the conversation.
"okay, yeah. i do," haruto says.
he does what?
it couldn't be...
does he like–
ricky quickly buries the thought. that's probably not it, he shouldn't get his hopes up.
so ricky stays laying in bed, listening until he hears haruto say "bye".
and while thinking about haruto, the fact his manager is probably going to murder him when he gets home, haruto, what happened that night, and haruto, sleep eventually comes to him.
ricky still wonders what haruto said "yes" to.
Notes:
thank you to everyone who's been supporting!!
i've decided on a final chapter amount...... no promises that i'll stick to it! but i have a plan! so i'll try ^^
Chapter 7: strawberry poptarts
Notes:
i'm sorry this chapter took so long compared to the other ones 💔 i wish i had a funny ao3 author core extreme excuse as to why i didn't update but honestly i just simply didn't feel like it
i hope u enjoy!! comments and kudos always appreciated!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
haruto is confused.
he just woke up, splayed out on the couch, blankets fallen to the floor and the room silent.
what is going on?
unfortunately, his short-term memory loss is true to its name, and only lasts for 2 seconds.
shit. ricky is here.
haruto scrambles to sit up, taking a quick look around the room to see that nothing seems out of the ordinary. ricky’s still asleep, he assumes.
so he decides to go check on him.
he begrudgingly gets himself off the couch.
he’s still tired. he wasn’t able to fall asleep until 4am, and it was 8am now; 4 hours of sleep are not his ideal amount.
but haruto stops a few steps before entering his room.
because first of all, talking to ricky would be awkward with what had happened last night. and second of all, takuto’s probably in there. and third of all, no.
so he turns on his heel to go back into the kitchen and make something to eat.
that ‘something’ is probably going to be pretty boring, considering the fact he can only cook eggs, toast, and microwaved foods.
but he needs to make something! because he has a guest over.
(he suddenly feels deja vu. and he isn’t sure why, because he only dreamed about waking up with ricky and cooking breakfast together, like, once.)
so he looks through the pantry for something to make. and unfortunately, anthonny missed grocery day, so they had nothing.
after narrowing down his options – no bread, one egg, and the freezer is empty – he decides to make pop-tarts.
strawberry flavored. ricky likes strawberries.
he unwraps 2 and shoves them into the toaster absentmindedly.
haruto starts to panic after a minute. because how is he gonna bring ricky his breakfast?
it seems like he’ll have to go into the room anyway.
haruto sighs in agony.
as he’s sitting at the kitchen counter, head in his hands and trying to figure out the most nonchalant way to offer shen quanrui breakfast, he almost yells when the toaster pops up terribly loudly.
haruto gets up and places the pop-tarts onto plates (while actively trying not to burn his fingertips off).
he walks very slowly to the door, as if it’ll make the experience any less embarrassing.
once he gets there, he knocks. he’s not sure why. ricky’s asleep, after all.
but seconds later he hears,
“what?”
and it’s not ricky. it’s takuto.
haruto’s eyes widen. this isn’t what he was expecting, nor was it part of his plan b, or c, or d.
“uh…” he stammers, “is… is ricky asleep?”
“no? he left,” takuto replies, quite snappy, like it’s something haruto should’ve known already.
haruto did not know this already.
none of his alphabetical plans covered this situation. so he quickly tries to conjure up the best plan of action, which he decides is ditching the poptarts.
he runs over to throw the plates down onto the counter, before entering his and takuto’s room like nothing had happened.
takuto looks up from his laptop, “why’d you ask about ricky?”
“i just wanted to know if he was still here,” haruto responds quietly. this whole interaction was embarrassing.
“really? you don’t like him or anything?”
haruto chokes on air. geez, this kid was like woongki if woongki was straightforward and less pushy.
“no, it’s not like that,” haruto retaliates.
he can’t help but doubt his own words as he speaks them.
“you sure?” takuto nags, drawing out the ‘sure’ for far too long.
“i’m sure,” haruto says.
he hears a laugh from the other side of the room. he snaps his head around and sees yuto laying on his bed.
what the hell? was haruto’s side of the room an airbnb?
“when did you get here?” haruto thinks aloud.
“woongki came home, so i went home.”
“when?”
“at around… 5?”
“okay,” haruto’s brows raise, but he declares the issue not important enough to press him for more details. he does wonder, though, how did he get home? at 5am?
“we know you like ricky, though.”
what? why were they ganging up on him all of a sudden? “i said it’s not like that!"
“yes it is,” takuto interjects.
“what?”
“right,” yuto nods.
“what?”
–––––––––––
ricky’s in trouble. quite literally.
he’d just returned to the dorm, and, oh how lucky for him, the manager was back.
he’d been standing in the same spot at the doorway for at least 8 minutes straight at this point, waiting for when the manager would get tired of scolding him for going out past curfew.
(ricky’s not even sure why they enforce a curfew, because they’re not even allowed to go out during the day.)
he’s not sure how much longer he can hold on before he just leaves in the middle of the manager’s “paparazzi will make rumors” spiel.
his mind had already drifted off a while ago, as he gave the manager unconvincing nods, as if he were listening to each and every word that was said.
ricky keeps thinking about haruto.
he wishes he could’ve stayed longer.
what would've happened if he did, though? what would they have talked about?
at that, he realizes it was probably best that he didn't stay.
talking about anything would be hard.
just as the manager goes on to tell ricky about the importance of maintaining his image, ricky can hear the distant sound of a door opening.
he gazes past the manager to see matthew exiting his room, walking towards him.
the manager notices this as well, and turns to matthew, a displeased frown on his face.
matthew looks at ricky and tilts his head slightly, like he's asking, what the hell is going on, dude?
ricky winces, which he hopes conveys his current feelings of get me out of here, bro.
surprisingly, matthew seems to get it, eyes widening and nodding slightly, "manager-nim, ricky was out getting our practice journals. we left them at the dance studio. right, ricky?"
ricky did not sign up for an improv course, but matthew was giving him a look that urged him to say, "yes, and i'm sorry i couldn't tell you about it. i really had to rush to get them before today's practice."
ricky knows the manager isn't gonna buy it, and that he's just going to get 20 more minutes of reprimand now.
"oh, okay," the manager empathizes.
what?
apparently the manager isn't as smart as ricky predicted. he's mean, but that doesn't mean he has a brain.
"yeah, we're sorry," matthew replies, "hey, how's it going with chaewon, by the way?"
the manager's face immediately drops. not like he was smiley before, but he now looks even more dead inside than usual.
"chaewon..." the manager mumbles, "chaewon, chaewon..." he continues, beginning to pace around the room. after a few more whispers of "chaewon," he puts his head in his hands and begins to pace in faster circles.
"what the hell?" ricky mutters, but before he can continue, he's cut off by a loud wail from the manager.
"MY PRINCESS!" he cries. he runs out of the room; well, tries to, but he doesn't open the door. he runs into it, and after a minute of standing there, head against hardwood, he opens it and rushes out.
"what the fuck was that?"
matthew bursts out laughing, "that was easy."
ricky's grateful to matthew, but the feeling is somehow overpowered by how weirded out he is by the manager. "thanks, man."
"of course," matthew ensures, leaning in for the most awkwardly straight bro-hug ever. "where were you really, though?"
"what?" ricky sputters.
"i know you weren't really at the dance studio. where'd you go?"
ricky bites his tongue. "not telling you."
"least you can do to repay me for saving you... fine, i just leave you here next time for your sasaeng lessons, then."
"no, no, fine," ricky interrupts, "i was at haruto's dorm."
matthew's expression immediately becomes confused, "haruto's? why?"
"it's been a while since i saw him," ricky says carefully. he had to stop himself from saying 'i missed him.'
"didn't you, like, have a thing for him?"
ricky blinks, "huh?"
"i don't know. me and jay theorized, though, and we've been right on other occasions–"
"what other occasions?"
"well, for starters, we predicted haobin."
"everyone predicted haobin. you're not special."
"jeez," matthew scoffs, actually looking pretty offended. "we also got winnice!"
"what is a winnice?!"
"winnie and nice, duh."
"nobody gives a fuck about winnice."
"damn."
matthew's silent for a second.
"hey, you dodged the question."
"what question?"
"do you or do you not have a thing for haruto?"
"it's not like that–"
"remember. i'll leave you with the manager."
ricky sighs, and surprisingly, his answer comes easily,
"yeah. maybe kind of."
"knew it."
"how?!"
"it's the way you looked at him, dude. you were always all strong-silent 'til haruto came up."
"shut up."
"i heard you guys playing poker at planet camp from the next room over, that's how loud you were laughi–"
"shut up."
"we saw how you always hesitated on whether to sit with him at lunch or not, it was so cu–"
"seok woohyun."
"sorry."
they're silent.
"well, did anything happen? like, romanti–"
"no."
"you sure?"
"very."
"alright," matthew groans. "you should ask him out."
"what?!"
"you heard me."
"i..."
"you don't want to? scaredy cat."
"no, i–"
ricky immediately regrets saying that.
"what? did you?! what did he–"
ricky shushes matthew so he can compose himself. "it's not like that exactly... i left a note asking if he wants to go out for coffee next week. but he hasn't texted me yet."
"what?!"
"i don't remember where i put it, either, like, i was in a rush to get here before the manager, so i kinda just threw it when i was done."
"so maybe he didn't see it?"
"or he doesn't want me because of what ha..." ricky trails off.
"because of what ha?"
"shut up before i kick your ass."
"kinky."
"seok matthew what the fu–"
matthew laughs.
–––––––––––
no matter how much haruto denies it, yuto and takuto won’t stop harrassing him with questions about ricky.
at one point yuto even says “i bet they kissed,” which makes haruto weary of whether they were being watched through the security cameras or something.
this went on a good half hour before the two got bored and gave haruto a rest.
by the time the three of them made their way into the kitchen to get a drink, it was 11am. haruto and takuto begin to argue over who gets the last mountain shoutin', but their conversation is quickly interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.
haruto snaps his head around to see anthonny prancing through the door, krystian behind him with a substantial amount of shopping bags in his hands.
“anthonny!” takuto smiles, “where were you!”
“hi, kuto! oh, you know, i was just hanging out with krystian for a while.”
haruto can’t help but cringe at how anthonny says ‘krystian’ a little more sing-songy than the rest of his words.
“what were you doing, though?” takuto prods.
“oh, not much,” anthonny responds, “boyfriend things.”
haruto meets anthonny’s eyes and raises a brow. anthonny purses his lips, immediately moving his head.
“baby, you wanna stay a while?” anthonny chirps.
krystian nods, smiling softly, "whatever you want, sweetheart."
anthonny’s eyes seem even shinier than usual, if that’s possible. the couple looks at each other lovingly.
it makes haruto want to jump off a roof.
“it’s been a while,” krystian says. it takes haruto an embarrassingly long 7 seconds to realize he was talking to him.
“right,” haruto replies, sticking his hand out for what turns out to be a very underwhelming, awkward handshake.
krystian sits down on the couch, and haruto realizes he should probably get him something to eat; he’s a guest, after all. an uninvited one, but still, haruto is nice.
he happens to see the leftover pop tarts on the counter.
he grimaces involuntarily. this was supposed to be ricky’s.
why did he leave?
well obviously, he had to get back in time for practice.
but still – that early? – and why didn’t he text him or anything?
haruto decides to distract himself by making something edible. he remembers the shopping bags, and grins at the realization that there's probably something good in there.
but to no avail, as every bag he rifles through is filled to the brim with clothes, earrings, video games, more clothes, and– is that a louis vuitton watch?!
"anthonny, what's going on over here?" he calls out to the living room.
"huh?" anthonny comes running into the kitchen at the mention of his name.
"why's there no food?"
"we weren't grocery shopping?"
"you were supposed to yesterday."
"well, yeah. but today was just fun shopping, you know."
"fun shopping?"
anthonny nods.
"girl, is he your sugar daddy?!" haruto yells.
he can hear takuto laughing from the living room.
"no, i bought him some stuff too! mutual sugaring!"
haruto doesn't even feel the need to ask what 'mutual sugaring' is. thinking of the additional implications of that term, respectfully, makes him want to cry.
at least anthonny isn't asking about ricky, though. he didn't even know ricky was there.
so haruto decides not to complain further about the lack of groceries, and instead gets up to pop down a few more pop-tarts for krystian and anthonny.
he would've just given them the first ones he made, but they're cold by now.
and anyways, they were meant for him and ricky.
while the toaster's running, he catches up with anthonny on what had happened while they were apart; he and krystian got to a hotel. they ate some ice cream. they went to sleep. they went shopping in the morning.
haruto can't help but make assumptions as to why anthonny trailed off before saying "went to sleep."
he's pretty sure he's assuming right. again, he wants to cry.
the pop-tarts were finished before anthonny could ask about how haruto's evening went; thank god.
haruto brought them out to krystian, who anthonny sat down next to and clinged onto while they fed each other pop-tarts.
gross (haruto wants what they have).
he heads back off to the kitchen while the others are distracted in conversation.
he picks up the old plate meant for ricky, and judges it's best for him to throw it out. too late, nobody wants them. he doesn't give a damn about food waste, that was shen quanrui's food.
but as he opens the lid of the trash can, he notices something lightly fall to the ground.
haruto isn't sure what it is, because last time he checked, the trash can did not have any paper-towel-dispenser feature. or anything like that.
so after putting the empty plate in the sink, he kneels down to check what it was.
a folded piece of paper?
he carefully opens it, trying not to touch it too much – it was on the trash can, after all – and he see's that it's a note.
from ricky?
he knew ricky's handwriting. they used to pass notes during practice like they were high school kids passing secret notes in class.
it's noticeably messier, though, like it was written in a hurry.
he reads it.
'sorry i left without telling you ruto i was too worried about the manager
want to go get coffee some time next week?
text me and we can make plans
-ricky'
haruto's jaw drops more and more as he reads the note.
it's not that much, sure.
but ricky called him ruto.
and he basically asked him out.
haruto doesn't care that the note was trash-infused anymore.
he's gonna keep this. it was embarrassing, sure, but he found the note cute.
and he suddenly doesn't feel as awkward about talking to ricky. because he did care enough to leave a note. and he asked him out to coffee.
so ricky doesn't feel weird about him after they kissed.
haruto pulls out his phone as quickly as he can, and types up a text message for ricky.
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
HIII you still wanna go get coffee?
ricky comes online seconds later.
and he starts typing.
Notes:
i'm craving poptarts now
Chapter 8: dress to impress
Notes:
i am SO sorry about the lack of updates on this.... literally whenever i sat down to write more i could only get 20 words done 💔 and i kept getting ideas for unrelated fics..... therefore i didn't have much time for net-and-chill related writing !!
please enjoy this long overdue chapter! next one will be the last one if everything goes to plan, so look forward to it~
Chapter Text
haruto is confused.
because what the hell is he supposed to wear on a first date?
well, it’s not really a date. but the implications make it seem very date-like.
ricky had made plans with him over text to meet up for coffee; which would seem like a simple task, but with all the music shows, filming and photoshoots scheduled between the two of them, it really narrowed down the options.
and that’s how haruto ended up getting ready to get coffee at 5pm on a random wednesday. he isn’t complaining, though, because their only other choice was 3am on a tuesday. no thanks.
haruto isn’t sure why he’s being so thorough with his outfit choice. this is not dress to impress, he has to remind himself, you do not need to impress him with non-vip outfit hacks so he votes you 5 stars. this is real life.
right when he was finally about to narrow down his options for jackets, he gets a call, mark lee’s verse in jopping immediately blaring out of his phone. haruto loves his ringtone.
he picks up the phone and sees that it’s woongki. great.
“hello?”
“ruto!” woongki sings, the sheer volume of it causing haruto to jump out of his skin, “your date is so soon! are you nervous?!”
haruto regrets telling woongki about any of this. “first off, it’s not really a date. and didn’t you say you were busy? like, with… what was that show again?”
“uni league!”
“yeah, that.”
“i was, but i’m at the dorms now! we had our enterance performances yesterday, it was so boring i swear,” woongki chatters, “and oh my god, i have the cutest boy as my roommate, his name is jinho and i want him so bad–”
he cuts himself off, leaving haruto confused. “what?–”
“right! date! you’re getting ready, right?”
haruto sighs loudly. he thought he was free from the date-talk. “yes. i’m trying to find an outfit.”
“ugh! if i were there i’d make you look so good. literally, like, ricky would be all over you. i’m a great stylist, you know.”
“are you?”
“sure! anyways, what are the options? i’ll try to visualize.”
“well, i’m trying to decide between a leather jacket or a hoodi–”
“hoodie. obviously.”
“…okay, and for pants i was thinking of wearing those ripped je–”
“absolutely not. grey sweatpants.”
“why?”
“girl, you know.”
“i do?”
“why are you so dense?” woongki sighs, “anyways! what about shoes?”
“crocs,” haruto responds, praying this wouldn’t turn into another fashion lecture. he can hear woongki feign a gag through the phone.
“haruto ricky-lover maeda,” woongki answers, putting even more emphasis on each word, “we do not wear crocs when seeing boys we like. don’t you have…” he trails off. “oh, jinho! how was your shower!” he chirps, higher pitched than usual.
before haruto can even ask, woongki abruptly hangs up the phone.
well, guess i’ll have to improvise the rest.
–––––––––––
“well? when are you leavin’?”
ricky’s head shoots up at taerae’s question, eyes widening the slightest bit. “what?”
“to go out with haruto! it was today, wasn’t it?”
shit. ricky forgot.
at the time of scheduling it, it really had seemed like the best option for both of them. but with the tour coming up and all the new choreographies to learn, ricky had attended more impromptu extra practices than the average 7th year idol. blame wakeone.
he was so tired, had lost the track of time so badly, that he didn’t even notice it was 15 minutes until the time he and haruto had agreed to meet up.
as he’s thinking of an escape plan, though, he comes across a question; how did taerae know about this?
ricky snaps his head back up to look at him, and doesn’t even have to say anything before taerae’s eyes grow wider and his lips press into a firm line.
ricky tilts his head, “how’d you know?”
“well, when you’re in love… you tell each other everything…” taerae chuckles awkwardly.
ricky closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
damn you, seok matthew.
without saying anything else, knowing he has to get out of that practice room, ricky stands up from his spot on the bench and walks straight over to matthew.
"cover for me, will you?"
matthew looks up from his phone and smirks at the sight of ricky, "okay, fine. but then you owe me after."
"owe you what?"
"the details!"
ricky rolls his eyes so hard that they could fall out of his head, "there are no details to be shared, okay?"
"alright!" matthew laughs, "details and a coffee then."
ricky just agrees (he doesn't have time for bargaining), and swiftly runs out of the practice room door.
as he stands outside the door to text haruto an update, he's pretty sure he hears a muffled, collective "ooh" break out from the other members.
"i love you, rickruto!" he hears hanbin cheer.
"yaoi!" hao rejoices.
oh, fuck you, seok matthew.
–––––––––––
haruto eventually finishes getting ready and packing his bag (after about 3 hours of contemplating every decision he made). he's prepared for every possible worst-case scenario; ordered an uber 20 minutes early, packed a leftover ghost-face mask from last halloween just in case he gets recognized on the street, stole money from takuto's hello kitty piggy bank just in case he's short on the bill.
haruto was immediately bored. his uber wasn't expected to arrive for another 10 minutes, so now he has to kill time. so, like any normal person would, he sits down at the kitchen counter and starts playing candy crush.
that doesn't last long, though. because not even 2 minutes later, yuto and takuto walk in to browse the fridge, and they immediately give haruto the look.
"what?" haruto asks.
"why do you have so much makeup on?" takuto prods.
"no i don't," haruto replies, almost too quickly.
"then what's with the blush? thinking about ricky?" takuto says.
yuto holds back a laugh, "does thinking 'bout him make his eyelashes grow longer, too?"
haruto is hurt. he'd tried to follow a no-makeup makeup tutorial. "don't worry about it."
"you're going to see ricky, aren't you?" yuto says knowingly.
haruto refuses to answer that question, so he moves on. "what have you two been up to?"
"we're playing mario kart!" takuto says, "i'm beating his ass!"
"takuto!" haruto and yuto both say simultaneously. takuto doesn't react with anything other than a shrug.
and while haruto was just about to scold takuto for his improper use of coarse language, his phone dings with a new notification.
ricky 🖤
heading out right now, sorry if i'm a little late
haruto smiles at the mundane, dry text message.
takuto and yuto catch onto this, and they exchange knowing glances as they slowly exit the room.
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
OKAYYYYY !! just waiting for my uber to get here rn why is it taking SO LONG dawg
except right when haruto sends that message, he gets the notification that his uber arrived, apparently!
––––
it's been 30 minutes. haruto was still not there.
he wants to pinch his past self, because why did he choose the slowest possible driver he could? and why are there so many cars on the road right now? and why does his phone have no service whatsoever? he would've been there already, had he walked.
haruto tries not to sigh aloud as the driver stops early at a red light for the 5th time. note to self: never order uber driver park gwanyoung ever again. please.
he can't even do anything to pass the time because of the pure lack of signal on his phone. so it's a relief when finally, after what felt like centuries, he arrived at lovesick coffees and tea. thank god.
except he doesn't feel all that thankful, because apparently, it's 5:24.
haruto almost trips over his own feet while exiting his uber and rushing into the cafe. he frantically looks around the room, but to his despair, ricky wasn’t even there.
am i being stood up? i’m this late and he isn’t even here yet?
he throws his head back in frustration, stomping over to sit at a table in the corner.
the boy at the cashier register looks at him, confused.
haruto impulsively checks the time again, and apparently his phone was working now. which would've been a good thing if not for the heart attack he experienced after reading his notifications.
5 new texts from ricky 🖤
i have to go back to my dorm first to get some things :( so sorry
???????? for some reason there were 4 zeroses standing outside the wakeone building
what do i do
ok just ran for it idk ift ehyure still foolowjing me hwlp
ill be there in liek 10 minuets!!!!!111!1!1
oh, poor ricky.
haruto should've picked him up or something.
he forgets sometimes that ricky's a real celebrity now.
–––––––––––
ricky finally races through the cafe door, heart pounding and breath heavy. thank goodness for the fact this place was entirely empty, – for some reason – besides haruto.
haruto. ricky smiles at the sight of him.
after taking a moment to catch his breath, ricky walks over to haruto's table, almost melting when haruto grins up at him.
"hi!" haruto beams, tilting his head.
ricky takes the seat across from him, placing his bag on the table, "hi. sorry to keep you waiting..."
"no, no, don't worry," haruto reassures, "i was late too. my uber driver was so slow it was insane, and he kept playing these awful trot songs, it was terrible."
ricky chuckles, but he's interrupted when he hears the loud footsteps of the waiter coming up to them.
"what can i get you two?" he asks cheerily. his name tag reads... chen kuan jui?
haruto squints and looks up at the menu for a second, before replying, all within 10 seconds, "can i have a large strawberry mocha frappuccino, iced with 2 pumps of vanilla, 4 pumps of chai base, 3 scoops of chocolate chips and banana whipped cream? oh, and some rainbow sprinkles."
what? ricky thinks to himself, but apparently kuan jui got all that, because he's now looking at ricky awaiting his order.
"uh..." ricky hesitates, "iced americano, please."
"what size?"
"regular, huh?" haruto interjects.
"what?–"
"okay, anything else?" kuanjui says.
"can we have 2 small strawberry cakes, too?" haruto asks.
"sure!" kuanjui nods, "we'll call you over once it's done! name for your order?"
he's looking at ricky. ricky freezes.
"quandale dingle," haruto replies, oddly seriously.
kuanjui doesn't see anything suspicious about that, apparently, because he just walks away.
everything feels awkward now. they're the only two in the cafe, and with their current dynamic, it was more than a little hard to start conversation.
so ricky decided to get right to the point.
"so do you think..." he trails off.
shit. he cannot get right to the point, obviously.
"what?" haruto asks.
"ah... nothing."
silence.
"you look really good today," haruto suddenly comments.
ricky could feel the heat rise to his cheeks, "you do too," he says carefully. "i like your nails, where'd you get them done?" ricky asks, in attempt to engage in small talk.
"oh, thank you!" haruto says, looking down at his pink, sticker-decorated nails, "wumuti did them for me! you probably saw, but in the group chat, he said he's starting his own nail-tech thing."
ricky did not see the group chat. his only thought was, since when were the boys planet boys doing so many side quests?
ricky does not know how to bring this conversation over to whether haruto likes him or not. so they're both silent for even longer.
but, thankfully, haruto eventually speaks up, "so... about that note you left?"
ricky winces, "yeah... still, i'm sorry i had to leave."
"no, it's alright," haruto insists, "you didn't miss anything other than krystian and anthonny coming home and eating all my poptarts.
ricky laughs, "good. not really all that interested in that."
haruto nods, "well, why'd you wanna get coffee?"
did he not know? ricky isn't sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
"well, you know... we got interrupted when woongki came in, and I just–"
"order for quandale dingle?" the man at the cash register says extremely loudly.
ricky felt so embarrassed. he'd probably be dead if there were anyone else in the cafe.
haruto looks down awkwardly, so ricky takes responsibility for picking up their order.
when he gets up to the counter and takes hold of the tray, he feels like he recognizes the cashier guy.
and sure enough, his nametag reads 'ma jingxiang'.
"oh... hi," ricky greets.
"didn't know you changed your name," jingxiang comments.
ricky rolls his eyes as jingxiang gives a soft smile.
"what are you doing here, though? didn't you join a show?" ricky asks.
"yeah, but they aren't paying anyone on project 7. i need to afford my food somehow."
ricky nods, "understandable."
they both don't say anything for a second.
"so. haruto, huh?" jingxiang says.
ricky's eyes widen, "no, it's not... like that."
yet, he wants to add.
haruto smiles as ricky sits back down, placing their drinks on the table.
“so… as you were saying?” haruto prompts after a second, taking a sip from his way-too-sugary frappuccino.
“well… the question,” ricky says slowly; carefully.
haruto visibly tenses up, “yeah..?”
“have you thought about it?” ricky asks softly, voice on the verge of breaking from how nervous he was.
it was so stupid, he thought. that a boy could break down his walls this easily.
but that boy was haruto. and it oddly felt right.
ricky finds himself looking into haruto’s eyes as he waits for an answer. they're so pretty; wide, and such a deep brown. so soft most of the time, but piercing when the situation calls for it.
god, i’m down bad.
haruto takes a deep breath, shoulders rising and falling accordingly. “i think… ricky, i think i might l–”
but ricky can't hear the rest of his reply. because right then, at the worst possible moment, when everything was just about to go right, there’s a sharp banging on the window right next to ricky’s head.
“ricky-yah! who's that?”
“look here! please! do cat ear pose!”
surely enough, right beside him, outside the window, are the zeroses he was running away from earlier, cameras in hand.
well, shit.
Chapter 9: closeted
Notes:
LAST CHAPTER............. will any progress be made in rickruto relationship this time! read to find out!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
haruto is confused.
because, one, how did these people find the cafe?
and two, how do they recognize ricky but not him? he was on boys planet too. this experience was both terrifying and very humbling.
he quickly realizes this isn't the biggest thing to worry about, though, as the crazed fansites start banging on the windows or running towards the cafe door.
haruto looks over to ricky, who looks like he'd just seen a ghost. or like his life was flashing before his eyes. or both.
thankfully, the cafe staff understood their situation well enough, though. haruto barely catches the movement as kuanjui rushes over to the door, holding it shut as it was practically being knocked down from the other side.
"you don't have to do all that," haruto says quietly, precautiously, "don't you have to work?"
"yeah, yeah, but we're having a really slow day. like, you're the only ones here," kuanjui yells back in response, just so he can be heard over the banging on the door.
"why though? isn't this place pretty popular? and it's a weekday, and rush hour?" haruto can see from the corner of his eye how ricky and jingxiang share an unpleasant glance. not the time, you two.
"well, yeah, usually. but recently the ministry of food and drug safety came in and gave us a penalty for the raw eggs contaminating our drink mixers," kuanjui looks down sorrowfully, "nobody really wants to come here anymore."
"the what gave you a what for what now?"
"don't worry, we fixed that! except now the oven's metal coating is falling off into the pastries so we have to get that checked ou–"
"don't you think this isn't the time?" jingxiang finally snaps.
"what do you mean?"
"the door, kuanjui. the door."
"oh," kuanjui says. he pushes himself further back against the door.
when haruto looks back to ricky, he's surprised to see him rummaging through his bag. before he can ask, ricky groans, "don't you have a hat? face mask? anything?"
haruto shakes his head.
but then he remembers the ghost-face mask. except ricky would never be caught dead wearing that, so maybe not.
except right when that thought enters his mind, ricky's hand lands on the mask. he looks up at haruto and laughs, "really?"
in that split-second of a moment, haruto realizes again how nice ricky's smile is.
ricky had been smiling more often lately. haruto liked it.
so even with the chaos happening outside the doors, haruto took a moment to appreciate that they were out together.
that they were on a date, basically.
what?
haruto snaps out of his ricky-trance when jingxiang loudly walks over to them. "i have a plan, okay?"
ricky looks a bit skeptical. but knowing the seriousness of the scenario, he nods hesitantly, "i'll hear you out."
"okay. first, haruto, get in the closet."
"darn, i just came out of that thing."
ricky laughs again. jingxiang's lips curl up the slightest bit, but he's immediately back to business, "i'm serious. get in there, and ricky, i'll make sure you get out of here."
jingxiang seemed pretty reliable; and educated on the topic. had he done this before for some other idol couple haruto didn't know about? (his bets were on winrina.) so haruto heads over to the "employees only" janitor's closet in between the bathrooms.
–––––––––––
“you want me to… what?”
“pose for them, ricky!” kuanjui yells.
are we encouraging them now? (ricky wants to say it, but he can’t.)
“he has a point,” jingxiang says thoughtfully, “you wanna hear the plan?”
no, let me go see haruto, ricky wants to say, instead of his half unsure “okay”.
“you distract them over there, so they get away from the doors. then i’ll walk out, and they’ll get distracted when they see me, so you’ll be safe to go into the closet until the coast’s clear.”
the way he was talking, you’d think jingxiang was an expert in crowd management. “why would they get distract…” ricky trails off, “nevermind.”
“trust me on this, we know what we’re doing, ” jingxiang reassures, “right, kuanjui?”
“what?” kuanjui says.
“right, kuanjui?”
“what?!”
“god, i’m gonna kill him.”
“hey! i heard that!”
ricky – albeit hesitantly – walks back over to the windows, and to his surprise, the entire crowd in front of the door followed (the 4 zeroses from earlier had somehow turned to 11 in just a few minutes).
he really isn’t in the mood for this. he’d done enough fansigns already, he can’t bring himself to make another heart for the same fansites he sees every weekend.
but he does it. because, in the back of his mind, he knows it might bring him closer to seeing haruto again.
ricky was so frustrated.
he rarely ever saw haruto in the first place. why is it that whenever he does, something has to ruin it? it’s not fair.
and it’s strange. because all throughout boys planet, when he’d first developed his silly liking for haruto, he always imagined them debuting together.
in the same group. talking everyday, living together, performing together.
but that didn’t happen.
why can’t anything ever happen the way ricky expects it to?
so now, even though they’re close, they’d spent so much time together, and they both achieved their dreams; it wasn’t enough.
ricky wanted more than that, more than the once in a blue moon hangouts. he’s happiest when he’s with haruto, and he wants to keep more of that with him. it always had helped; on sleepless nights, stressful practice sessions, just the image of haruto’s face cheered ricky up.
even if they didn’t see each other as often as ricky wanted to, haruto was always in the back of his mind, they were in the back of his mind.
and so ricky finally decided what he’d do – while absentmindedly looking out the window, doing aegyo on autopilot.
he needs to ask haruto out, for real.
no more stalling, no more worrying about feelings. no more interruptions.
as soon as he gets in that god-forsaken janitor’s closet, he’s doing it.
–––––––––––
the janitor’s closet was cramped as hell.
that was the first thought that ran through haruto’s mind after entering it. followed by, what’s ricky doing out there?
ricky. ricky.
haruto likes ricky.
what?
the thought comes to him so easily now. why?
haruto thinks hard, sitting in the space he’d made between the broom and the shelf of cleaning supplies. sure, maybe not the best place to make life-altering realizations, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. for the plot, haruto affirms to himself.
haruto thinks, thinks, and thinks.
well, he’d just almost said it to ricky, so it has to be pretty true.
and he still gets that weird, fuzzy feeling inside whenever he thinks of ricky.
and he still thinks of ricky a lot. way more than he should, considering the fact they aren’t even in the same room for 99% of the year.
so many things remind him of ricky. he talks about ricky whenever he finds it fitting. he incorporates ricky in his pre-sleep scenarios.
okay, that one probably should’ve been a dead giveaway.
haruto feels like he’s gone through this same thought process 900 times by now, that he’s contemplated this exact thing over and over again.
it was hard to gather his feelings. even harder to express them. so he just resorted to thinking.
ricky. ricky. ricky.
all of a sudden, haruto hears the mop near the door fall over.
ricky!
haruto can’t stop the cheesy smile that crosses his face. it’s even harder to hide it once ricky smiles back.
god, ricky was cute. even cuter than the boys planet days.
haruto wanted to tell him that. but all that he managed to say was a simple "hi."
"hi, sorry for the wait," ricky replies, carefully taking a seat beside haruto. it was clear he didn't really enjoy sitting on the janitor's closet floor, with the way his brows creased the slightest bit and he kept shifting in his seat.
most people do not pay attention to these things, haruto makes mental note of.
the silence in the room is deafening. so haruto opts for small talk. "so, what'd they make you do out there?"
haruto notices ricky's expression change; a wince. was he gonna say something? "wasn't too bad, jingxiang just made me distract them for a minute."
ricky pauses, "it was just annoying, you know."
he looks up with the slight tilt of his head, meeting haruto's eyes. "because i came here to spend time with you. i don't have time for this."
haruto feels a sense of warmth spread through him at the sweet tone of ricky's voice. "me too," he hesitates, "i wish we could do this more often... you know?"
ricky nods, lips downturning the slightest bit.
the small room goes silent again.
haruto knows this isn't gonna go anywhere if he doesn't say anything.
so, even through his unsureness, his hesitance, his nervousness,
haruto decides he can't wait any longer.
he's done denying it.
he likes ricky shen.
like-likes him. and he's going to admit it.
so he takes one more long look at ricky.
his soft, yet fierce features. the tattoo down his neck, the fancy jewelry.
so different from the first time he'd met him, so many changes haruto hadn't caught, yet he was still the same ricky.
the same ricky that made him nervous. the ricky that made him feel safe at last.
and at the thought, it was like they were back to the boys planet dorms, to the late nights playing cards and talking about everything and nothing.
he's liked ricky for so long.
so with one deep breath, worth enough courage to look into ricky's eyes,
haruto says,
"ricky, i like you."
in an instant, ricky's face lights up – in delight, surprise? haruto's not sure – and his lips part. but he doesn't say anything; it takes a couple more tries for him to voice,
"really? you mean it?"
okay, it's delight.
ricky's smiling; really smiling, for real this time; it reaches his eyes, and he laughs softly,
"haruto... i like you too. you know that?"
"hmm... i had a feeling," haruto says playfully.
he feels so light and free of worry in this moment that he could quite literally fly if they weren't in this closet.
"why didn't you tell me earlier?" ricky jokes back in a mock-accusatory tone.
"i don't know," haruto groans, "i was really, like. in denial about it."
ricky carefully reaches his arm over to wrap around haruto's shoulders. pleasantly surprised, haruto sinks into ricky's side; although slowly. since ricky still makes him nervous.
haruto decides to continue, his tone somewhat unsure, "i think i might've, like, kinda had a thing for you since boys planet? but i wasn't able to do much, since i, you know..." he trails off, making a throat-slicing motion with his hand.
ricky makes a face that's between a smile and a pout, "yeah... really, though, i did too."
"what?"
"i was gonna tell you on the day of the final, but we know how that turned out."
haruto sighs, "knew i should've made it further."
after a few moments, ricky says, "i really liked hanging out at your dorm. i..."
"me too– what?"
ricky scratches the back of his neck, eyes darting around the room, "i still liked you at that point, but that night really... brougt it back. i just kept thinking about you, it was really hard."
haruto's head floods with memories from that night, again. he can feel a blush creeping onto his cheeks. "yeah... me too."
a pause. ricky's hand moves further down haruto's arm.
“do you wanna talk about… that?” ricky asks.
haruto instantly knows it’s about the kiss.
he’s still too nervous to talk about that, let alone unpack what it meant. so he decides to use his best trait; obliviousness!
“about what? nothing else happened…” he trails off, laughing awkwardly.
okay, that was so bad.
but ricky chuckles, “really? want me to try and jog your memory?”
“what?” haruto smiles, still playing it off as if he had no idea what ricky was talking about.
and just like that,
ricky kisses him.
finally.
and it’s like no time had passed, nothing had changed. like they were always this close, this together. like they were back on haruto’s couch, and there had been no distractions.
maybe this could’ve all happened much, much earlier, in planet camp, had their been no distractions; no overbearing weight of competition.
but there’s no changing what happened back then. what mattered was now, and now, there was no pressure, no worry, no doubts.
just ricky and haruto, haruto and ricky.
and it all finally felt right. the situation, their togetherness. the kiss.
it’s soft, gentle, just like ricky. it’s comforting. although haruto had been so nervous, so worried all day that he’d scare ricky off with just one wrong word, all those thoughts seemed to melt away the second ricky’s lips grazed over his.
they stay like this for what feels like decades, hands eventually wandering and breath getting heavy.
as they pull away for just a second to get some air, ricky asks between breaths, “could we… try something… maybe?”
“depends,” haruto smirks, tilting his head to lock eyes with ricky.
ricky rolls his eyes, “not anything like that, we’re in a janitor’s closet.”
“so?” haruto jokes, earning a light smack to the knee from ricky (who was still grinning).
“could we stand up?”
“sure," haruto replies, almost losing balance when ricky grabs onto his hand to pull him up.
“if you don’t want this, you can just... tell me, okay? i’ll stop,” ricky says, making sure to look right at haruto while he says it.
haruto wants to ask, what the hell are you doing?
but for some reason, the adrenaline coursing through him urges him to stay surprised. for the thrill, for the plot.
and as soon as haruto gives an assuring nod, ricky gently backs him against the wall behind him.
haruto's eyes widen, and he's suddenly hyper-aware of the effect ricky has on him.
something in ricky's gaze had changed; like the fierce-ness was overpowering the softness, just for this moment.
(and haruto doesn't want to act like some generic y/n, but there really was a height difference. not too much, but just enough to make him feel that much more hypnotized under ricky's stare.)
"this okay?" ricky mumbles under his breath.
consent is sexy, haruto swoons in his head.
"of course."
and with one hand placed beside haruto's head, the other gently ghosting over his waist, ricky leans in to kiss him again.
this time it's slower; a smattering of small pecks across haruto's face, and ricky seemingly enjoys haruto's reactions to them.
he suddenly tightens his grip on haruto's waist, pulling him closer; and embarrassingly, mortifyingly, a surprised gasp leaves haruto's lips.
ricky laughs again. it reaches his eyes.
and he's so cute.
so this time, haruto's the one pulling ricky in, kissing him harder, like he needed the ricky-induced thrill to live.
ricky's hand, which was on the wall, slowly makes its way to cup the back of haruto's head, leaning him back against the cold bricks as they kissed deeper, with more fervor than before.
haruto's hands had moved from ricky's shoulders, his arms now loosely wrapped around his neck.
at one point, between kisses, ricky pants out, "i like you. so much."
"i like you more."
ricky crashes his lips against haruto's again, as if saying, "no, i do."
––––
the two tire out eventually, and just rest their foreheads together as they still stand against the wall.
"so..." ricky says, reaching one hand up to brush his hair out of his eyes, "do you want to, like..?"
haruto's pretty sure he knows where this is going.
but if he has a chance to make ricky nervous, he will. payback. so he replies, "want to what?"
ricky feigns a sigh, tilting his head away from haruto's for a moment. then he speaks,
"haruto, wanna go out with me?"
"duh."
"that's it?"
they both start to laugh, lips somehow instantly meeting for another peck. "yes, shen quanrui. let's figure this out."
ricky nods, "let's meet up more often than every 3 months, okay?"
"deal."
haruto looks up at ricky to admire his face again. but he can't help but notice something in the corner of his eye.
he notices way too late that the closet door is cracked open.
ricky's eyes follow where haruto's looking, and he immediately takes a step back, eyes wide.
"how long..." haruto can't even finish his thought, as he instinctively rushes over to the open door.
to his relief, there were no more people outside the window. he notices it had grown darker too; how long were they even in there for, let alone the time spent with the door open?
ricky had followed him, and they hear the sound of footsteps as haruto creaks the door open.
"there you are!" kuanjui beams, walking over to the two of them with a suspiciously gleeful stride.
the cafe was even quieter than it was earlier. "where'd jingxiang go?" haruto asks, confused.
"oh, he got chased around by ricky's fans. don't worry about it!"
haruto finds it hard not to worry, but he takes kuanjui's word for it, "okay..?"
"are you guys leaving now?" kuanjui asks.
they nod.
"okay! could you tip first, please?"
"for what?" ricky questions.
"the drinks, and the pastry, duh."
"girl, we didn't even get to have them?" haruto says, until ricky waves him off and steps forward. he pulls his wallet out of his pocket, quickly finding and slapping a 10 dollar bill into kuanjui's hands.
"thanks bro!" kuanjui cheers, giving a double thumbs up.
ricky visibly cringes, "you're welcome... bro..!"
"okay, you can get going now," kuanjui says, "i could drop you guys off, actually! so you don't get seen!"
ricky and haruto agree.
(they no longer agree when they see chen kuanjui's bright yellow volkswagen beetle. it's too late to change their minds, though; so they end up riding home in the most memorable car in all of seoul. yippee!)
––––
hours later, haruto lay in his bed, pyjamas on and skincare done.
he feels giddy, overjoyed, wonderful. and there's no "for some reason" this time; it's all about ricky shen, and there's no doubting it.
it wasn't an issue getting into the dorm, surprisingly. yuto and takuto were still playing mario kart, which probably isn't the most healthy for them, but they need to learn that the hard way when they can't wake up in the morning for dance practice. he can hear the occasional argument break out over assumed cheating, or the overuse of curse words by takuto.
anthonny was also keeping himself busy, most likely taking advantage of his empty bedroom and video calling krystian.
haruto does not need to know what goes on during their video calls. those "mutual-sugaring" weirdos. (said lovingly, of course.)
he turns on his phone to see 127 missed messages from woongki. dear lord.
he tries reading through all of them, but with the random topic switching ("GIRL JINHO IS SO FINE OMG" to "just watched starlight boyz mama a sun yinghao behind YOU💜"), to haruto's disoriented mind in general, he decides he'll reply to woongki in the morning. it was 10pm now, after all. he can say he went to bed early.
haruto shuts his phone off. but seconds later, the screen lights up with a new notification.
ricky!
ricky 🖤
hi ruto ^^ i had fun today, you wanna plan for another night out next week? i can find a way to work it out
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
tonite was so so fun YES PLZZZZZZ
let's make plans once we go over our schedules and whatnot 🙏
ricky 🖤
sounds good to me
the members are still at practice thank goodness i have gotten no questions yet
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
YAYYYYY we're both free!
waittt since we're alone do u wanna call 🥰
ricky 🖤
yes ofc <3
wait
hold on
PAUSE
[ricky 🖤 sent a link.]
haruto opens the link to see a tweet; from a zerose, considering the haobin profile picture.
"omg shimkongz cafe date 🥺"
attached was an image from earlier, taken by one of the fansites, ricky looking right at the camera like a deer in headlights while haruto only sipped on his drink.
so great, the public knows.
but haruto reads out the caption again, his eyes widen, and he begins hastily typing back to ricky,
HARUTO 🌟🔥🙏
THEY THINK IM GYUVIN???!???@)?{"{!!
Notes:
THIS IS FINALLY OVER ?!?! i am so sad but also so happy because like :(( this was my first long-form fic really, i had so much fun writing it and i'm so proud of myself !!!! i think it was pretty funny as well ("'yaoi!' hao rejoiced" has to be my favorite line i've ever written) and i hope i can look back at this fondly in the future ! please ricky and haruto interact again someday... i cannot stay this dedicated to a rarepair that does not talk....💔
thank you thank you THANK YOU to anyone who has read this far or has read at all. the support truly means so much to me, knowing i can connect with others even if it's through a silly little ao3 fic is so nice and i'm extremely grateful for every kudo and every comment i've gotten :((
i will keep writing! writing this much for this story has actually made my motivation so much better for fic-writing in general so!! my interests tend to be a little all over the place but if you like nugu survival show ships with 2 believers then my fics are the ones for u 🙏
i don't know if i'm gonna be finishing it any time soon, but i plan to add a rickruto subplot to my fantasy boys fic "the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent" (long title i know... had to get the point across okay!)
again THANK U SO MUCH!! i love you guys and i'll be back to write something new soon enough ❤