in second chances, we trust

by sapphicolaiah

Summary:

They say every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. but is it too late for Narda to patch things up with her wife (and daughters) who's thinking of starting a new life thousand miles away from what they call home?

Regina decides to pack their bags and leave everything behind (including her wife) to start anew in States together with her daughters due to her wife being workaholic. Is it too late for Narda to win her family back?

Domestic!Reginarda incoming.

Chapter 1: leaving on a jetplane

“Sigurado ka bang hindi mo sila hahabulin? 10:30 pa lang naman, 3 pm pa naman daw flight nila, ‘di ba?”

“Hindi na siguro.” I replied timidly while sipping my morning coffee.

“Ano ba talaga kasi ang nangyari? Okay naman kayo ni Regina, ‘di ba?” Brian said while pouring himself his own coffee.

“I fucked up, Bri. It’s all my fault. Regina has done nothing but be patient with me. This is my own doing.”

“You don’t have to torture yourself like this, Narda. Mahal ka ni Regina, maiintindihan ka nun. Tatanggapin ka ulit nun. Whatever you did, I know you have your reasons. Isang paliwanag mo lang, tatanggapin ka ulit nun ni Reg. No questions asked.”

“Ayun nga ang problema, Bri. Sobrang bait ni Regina. Hindi ko siya deserve.” I sighed for the nth time.

“Parang tanga ka naman, Narda. Si Regina na yun. Hahayaan mo na lang ba talagang umalis siya? Sila? Kakayanin mo talagang malayo sila sayo? Pano ang mga bata?”

 

---

 

“Mommy?”

“Yes, anak?” I looked at Belle. We settled at the airport lounge waiting for our flight to be called.

“Naghiwalay ba kayo ni Mama?” I almost choked on my water. I put down my water bottle and wiped my mouth with the table napkin.

“Mommy, hindi naman na ako bata. 13 na po ako. I know what’s happening. Meron bang nagbabakasyon sa States na may dalang school records? And ganito kadaming luggage?” Belle said while pointing at her luggage.

“Hala mommy? Dun na kami mag school? Hindi ako nakapag paalam kay Coach!” Mikha said worriedly. She was referring to her volleyball coach.

“Anak, naipaalam na kita kay Coach Roger. He knows.” I chuckled while brushing her hair with my hand.

“Hindi mo naman sinagot tanong ko, Mommy. Naghiwalay na kayo ni Mama?” Belle prodded, not letting go of the topic.

“It’s complicated, Love. I wish I could explain it to you but it’s a very complicated situation, for now it’s between your Mommy and Mama muna.”  I was hoping she will let this one go. Hindi pa ako ready i-explain sakanila ang mga nangyayari. Ayaw ko kasi sana mag-isip sila ng kung anu ano tungkol sa Mama nila. 

“Is it because she’s always working? Mas love ba niya ang work niya?” Belle asked, eyes filled with both curiousity and gloom.

“Anak, you know that’s not true. Your Mama loves you and your sister more than anything in this world and you know that. Alam mo namang gagawin ni Mama ang lahat for the two of you that’s why she’s working hard.”

This is what I have been avoiding. Ayaw ko sanang malaman ng mga bata kung ano ang nangyayari sa amin. I didn't want them to think differently of their Mama. Kung pupwede lang, hindi na madamay ang mga anak ko. But I also have my reasons kung bakit ko ito ginagawa. I am just hoping that someday, my children will understand why I have to do this. Para sa inyo din ito, mga mahal ko.

“Then why is she not coming with us? Hindi naman ako galit kay Mama, eh. I just don’t understand why she’s not here with us right now. Bakit hindi natin siya kasamang pupunta ng States? Susunod naman siya diba?”

 

I sighed. I hope so, Anak.  I hope so. Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat.

---

“Kids, get your bags na. Boarding na tayo. Baka may maiwan kayo ah. Mikhaela, yung headphones mo nasa chair pa, anak. Belle, your Kindle baka kung saan mo malapag.”
I reminded them of their valuables while I gathered my own belongings, double checking our passports and boarding passes before we step out of the lounge.  

“Mommy, wala pa din si Mama?” Mikha asked me with pure innocence.

“Mikha, hindi naman talaga kasama si Mama. Wala naman ticket si Mama eh.” Her older sister answered.

“Oh, okay. Akala ko late lang siya. Lagi kasi siya late eh.” Mikha answered, sadness written over her face.

“You can call your Mama naman when we land. Why don’t you send her a text before we take off, hmm? So she knows na paalis na ang plane natin.” I suggested.

 

I hate seeing them so sullen like this. I hate that I am second guessing my decisions right now, not when we’re about to leave. 

 

“Okay, mommy. Text ko na lang po si Mama.”

 

---

 

“Nag-text si Bunso.” I said while looking at my phone.

“Oh, ano sabi ng inaanak ko?” Brian looked at me curiously.

“Paalis na daw airplane nila.” I looked at the selfie she sent me.

 

It was a picture of her in her seat, with her headphones in her neck. I couldn’t help but smile, she may look like her mom but she definitely got my smile.

 

“Miss mo na?” Brian teased.

 

“Syempre naman, Bri. Ano ba namang tanong yan?”

 

“Tanga mo kasi. Sumunod ka na dun. Magbook ka na ng flight mo, kaya naman namin dito. Mag bakasyon ka muna. Matitiis mo ba mga anak mo? Iiyak yang junior mo, sige ka.”

 

“Eh ang dami kasing gagawin ng station sa mga susunod na buwan. Alam mo namang ang dami nating upcoming events bukod sa regular routines natin.” I sighed.

 

Totoo naman, madami kaming upcoming events and project na ako pa mismo ang nag spearhead. Ako pa ba ang mawawala sa mga sarili kong projects? Pero totoo naman din ang sinabi ni Brian. I know they can handle the following months on their own. I have full confidence in them.

 

“Ang dami mong excuses, Cap. Akala mo naman mag cocollapse ang station kung wala ka, Kaya na namin dito. Marami naman kami dito para sumalo ng mga maiiwanan mong trabaho. Sige na, sumunod ka na sa mag-iina mo. Win your wife back.” Brian said with an assuring smile.

He really is my best friend and confidante. Alam na alam niya paano ako kukumbinsihin.

 

I stared at my phone. Mikha sent another photo, this time a photo of her mommy and sister smiling widely at the camera. My heart fluttered at the sight of my wife and first- born smiling. Sadness is evident in my wife's eyes but it’s not obvious due to the shades covering her eyes.  Nonetheless, she is still very beautiful. 

 

“I’ll think about it.” I said in defeat.

 

 

Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat, 'di ba?

 

Chapter 2: is this an interrogation?

WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES

 

 

There it is, the infamous sign. After what seemed like forever, finally we landed at the land of the free. Good thing the kids fell asleep as soon as the plane took off. I, on the other hand, had trouble finding a comfortable position to sleep in. Thoughts were running in my head. I was suddenly second-guessing my decision. Tama nga bang dinala ko ang mga bata sa Amerika? Tama bang iniwan ko ang asawa ko sa Pilipinas imbes na ayusin namin ang mga problema namin? Sa totoo lang, we did try. Or at least, I did. I did the best I could to understand my wife. Hindi naman ako nagpadalos dalos sa pagdala sa mga bata dito sa States. But I've had enough. I just know I need a breather and it would be impossible to achieve that sa Pilipinas.

 

---

 

“Mommy, I don’t think this will all fit in an Uber.” I hear Mikha said while looking at our luggage. We did bring a lot, tig tatlo ata kami ng maleta. Hindi pa kasama ang mga handcarry bags namin.

 

“Anak, somebody will pick us up. Hindi tayo mag Uber.” I said while laughing at my child’s antics.

 

“Oh okay. Phew, because I can’t carry all my bags Mommy. Ang dami kong dinala!”

 

“Andito na yung van mga anak, count your bags baka may kulang ha make sure ma-load lahat sa sasakyan”

 

“Surprise, little rascals!”

 

“Lolo Pop!” my children squealed in excitement after seeing their lolo step out of the passenger seat.

 

“How have you been, kids? Did you miss Lolo Pop?” My dad said while enveloping my kids into a hug. Hindi naman halatang miss na miss nila ang Lolo nila.

 

“Yes! Yes! Mommy didn’t tell us you were picking us up!” Mikha said while jumping up and down.

 

“Silly, it wouldn’t be a surprise then if mommy told you I was coming!” He said while he messed with her hair.

 

“Miss na miss mo naman ang mga yan, Dad. Paano naman ako? Akala ko pa naman ako ang baby girl mo forever. Napalitan na pala ako.”

 

“Jusko, ang anak ko may asawa’t anak na matampuhin pa din, Nagselos pa sa mga apo ko. Halika nga dito!” Dad teased me before pulling me into a hug.

 

“Kasi naman.” I chuckled.

 

“Oh, nasaan ang asawa mo?” Dad said raising an eyebrow at me.

 

“Lolo Pop, naghiwalay na sila ni Mama.” Belle said sulking. Inunahan na talaga ako. My dad’s head snapped quickly, looking at me

 

“Huh? Naghiwalay kayo ni Narda? Kailan pa? Ha? Nawala lang ako sa Pilipinas ang dami na nangyari!” Oh, he was CONFUSED confused.

 

“Dad, mamaya na natin pag-usapan. Pa-help naman ako dito sa mga bags oh.” I was not prepared for Belle’s revelation. Ang anak ko naman, hindi man lang muna kami pinaupo sa sasakyan bago nagsumbong.

 

“Oh you bet we will talk later, young lady.” My dad said while giving me a stern look. Now what did I do?

 

“Dad, anong young lady? Dalawa na anak ko.” I said trying to change the subject.

 

“Wag mo ako daanin sa ganyan, Regina.”

 

“Sabi ko nga.” Wala pa man pero kinakabahan na ako sa mangyayaring interrogation. Ugh, daldal mo anak ko.

 

---

 

“Coffee?”

 

“Yes please, dad. Thanks.” We just arrived at my dad’s house. I’m counting our luggage to make sure wala kaming naiwan.

 

“Girls, maaga pa naman. Why don’t you go ahead and settle down muna sa rooms niyo upstairs so you can rest for a bit? We’ll go out to grab a bite later. Want some In N’ Out?”

 

“Yes, Lolo Pop!” the kids jumped in excitement. In N’ Out is their favorite.

 

“Sige na, akyat na muna kayo. Mag-uusap muna kami ni Mommy niyo.” Dad nudged the two to go upstairs.

 

“Mikha, don’t run anak please baka madapa ka sa stairs! Isabelle, yung kapatid mo tignan mo!” I shouted from across the hall. Alam ko ang batang iyon, akala mo golden retriever na laging nag zozoomies.

 

 

“Yes, mommy!”

 

---

 

“Now, spill. Ano itong sinasabi ng apo ko na naghiwalay na kayo ng asawa mo?”

 

“Dad, may jetlag pa ako. Hindi ba talaga makakapag hintay ‘tong interrogation mo?” I said shaking my head. God, there’s really no escaping this conversation.

 

“Tigilan mo ako, Regina ah. Ang sabi mo sa akin, magbabakasyon lang kayo ng mga bata dahil summer break naman nila. Tapos ngayon dadating ka dito dala dala ang buong bahay niyo tapos hindi mo pa kasama ang asawa mo. Tapos sasabihin ni Isabelle, naghiwalay na kayo?”

 

“Dad, hindi pa naman final…” I said while fidgeting.

 

“What do you mean? You filed for divorce? What did you do this time?” He crossed his arms while looking at me. 

 

“Huh? Why me? Ano naman ang ginawa ko and why are you so sure it’s my fault?” I know I sound defensive. Pero bakit parang mas anak niya si Narda kaysa sa akin? Hmp.

 

“Because I know Narda. She made a promise to me when she asked for your hand. And that girl, albeit being hardheaded, I know she doesn’t break her promises. So, what did you do? Did you file for divorce?”

 

“Of course not, Dad! I would never divorce that woman kahit napaka imposible niya. What I mean is, hindi pa naman final na dito na kami maninirahan ng mga bata.”

 

“Then why isn’t your wife here with you?” he asked with his arms crossed.

 

“Eh subsob sa trabaho eh. Parang lagi na lang siya puro trabaho. Sa list ata ng priorities niya, number 1 to 3 ay trabaho. Halos hindi na siya nakikita ng mga bata. Gigising akong wala na sa bahay, matutulog akong hindi pa nakaka-uwi. Mag p-promise sa mga anak na pupunta ng school events, pupunta nga pero lagi namang late. Halos wala na siya naaabutan. Grabe na ang tampo ng mga anak niya sakanya.” I sighed. Totoo naman. Nagtatampo na kami sakanya. 

 

“At ang solusyon mo ay mag alsabalutan at dalhin ang mga bata dito sa amerika? How are your kids taking it?”

 

I put down my coffee mug. 

 

“Dad, you make it sound like this isn’t a big deal. Hindi naman alam ng mga bata kung ano ang nangyayari sa amin. Syempre pag kaharap namin sila, all is well. As much as possible, we try not to fight in front of them. I don’t know where they got the idea that we’re separated.”

 

“of course, your kids are smart. They will notice things. And I know it is a big deal but running away from your marital problems is not the way to go.”

 

“I’m not running away, dad. And It’s not like I didn’t think this through. Halos 1 year na din naming tinatry ayusin to. We tried countless of times to talk about this, to compromise, even attempted marriage counselling. Ewan ko, hindi ko alam bakit ang dali dali para sakanya unahin ang trabaho niya bago sa aming mga anak niya. Basta ang alam ko, I need a breather. And I will bring my kids with me whether she likes it or not, whether she comes with us or not.”

 

“Ano ba ang sabi ni Narda? Bakit daw siya subsob sa trabaho? Need ba niya mag overtime? Nahihirapan na ba kayo sa bills and expenses? Sabi ko naman kasi sayo, let me cover at least ang tuition ng mga apo ko. No big deal naman. Mahal na mahal ko naman ang mga kulit na yun.”

 

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s about money, Dad. Hindi naman kami nagigipit. Kapitan na ng station yun si Narda, kahit hindi ako magtrabaho eh kayang kaya ng sweldo niya ang mga gastusin namin.”

I closed my eyes. Exhaustion creeping in.

 

“Ahh, so kulang kayo sa se-“

 

“DAD! Ano ba yan, baka marinig ka ng mga anak ko!” I said while shaking my head in disbelief.

 

“Do you want me to come talk to her? Tawagan ko kaya or bisitahin ko sa Pilipinas?” 

 

“Huwag na muna siguro, Dad. At isa pa, it is between me and my wife. Malaki na kami, kung meron mang dapat mag-ayos nito, kaming dalawang mag-asawa yun.” I sighed. “Kung maaayos pa.” I slumped on the couch.

 

“Of course, maaayos niyo pa yan. Come on, Regina. Talaga bang hahayaan mo lumaki ang mga apo ko na iisa lang ang nanay nila?” Si OA naman.

 

“Bakit ako! Siya ang dapat sumuyo sa akin ‘no.” I crossed my arms. Bakit ako? Hmp.

 

“Kulang nga ito sa se-“

 

“DAD!” I hit his shoulder. Ang tatay ko talaga, kahit kailan.

 

“I’m just messing with you, anak. I missed you, hindi niyo kasi ako binibisita dito sa States. Lumaki tuloy ang mga apo ko nang hindi ko namamalayan.” He said while caressing his shoulder.

 

“Wow ha, akala mo naman parang Cubao lang ang States. Ang mahal kaya ng plane ticket!”

 

“Akala mo pagbabayarin ko siya ng ticket. Ako naman talaga ang magbabayad!” he said laughing.  “Basta, if you need me to talk to her let me know. At ikaw naman, ayaw kong nagtatago ka sa akin ng mga ganitong bagay. Anak mo pa nagsabi sa akin.”

 

“Daldal kasi ng apo mo, Dad. Manang mana sayo. Mosang na mosang.”

 

We both laughed.

 

---

 

“Hi, Mama!” It was my bunso who called in FaceTime.

 

“Hello, bunso! Nakarating na kayo sa bahay ni Lolo Pop?” I asked. Nasa pantry ako sa station, sipping my morning coffee.

 

“Yes, Mama. Mommy said to call you when we land pero kakadating lang po namin sa bahay ni Lolo Pop kaya now lang ako nag call.”

 

“It’s okay, anak. Hindi ka ba tired? Gusto mo mag sleep muna?”

 

“I’m okay, Mama. I slept naman po kanina sa plane.”

 

“That’s good, Bunso, Si Ate Isabelle mo nasaan? Si Mommy?” I asked.

 

“Ate Belle is sleeping, Mama. She has jetlag. Mommy is downstairs with Lolo Pop. Lolo Pop said they have to talk about something.” She shrugged.

 

“Oh, okay.” Siguro pinag-uusapan na nila kung bakit hindi ako kasama.

 

“Mama?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Hiwalay na kayo ni Mommy?” I almost spat my coffee. I was not prepared at all for that question, especially coming from my 10-year-old.

 

“What? Of course not, anak. Where did you learn that? Did mommy tell you that?”

 

“No, mama. But Ate asked mommy if hiwalay na daw kayo.” Of course my first-born will notice. She is smart like her mommy. Hindi man namin ipahalata sa mga bata na nagkaka problema kami, pretty soon they will notice.

 

“No, anak. Never, ever. hindi kami ever maghihiwalay ni Mommy okay?” I said assuring her.

 

“Then why aren’t you here with us? Why ka always nasa work?” I bit my lip. I knew they’d ask bakit hindi ako sumama. Ang totoo niyan, I wanted to give Regina some space. She did ask for it, but now I’m kind of regretting letting her leave kasama ang mga bata without me. What if iniisip niya na this is me giving up on us? on our family? God, I could never bear the thought of leaving my wife and kids. They’re my life! I feel stupid. I need to make this right. I have to make this right.

 

“Actually, anak. I’m going there also. I just have to make sure na wala ako maiiwang important work before I follow you guys there. But don’t tell Mommy yet, okay? I want to surprise her. So don’t tell anyone para no spoilers. Okay?”

 

“REALLY MAMA? YEHEY!” Mikha was practically jumping up and down her bed from the excitement.

 

“Shh, anak. Don’t be so loud baka marinig ni Ate Isabelle mo or ni Mommy.” I said while shushing her. Baka mabuko pa ang plano ko.

 

“Sorry, Mama. I am just happy.” Mikha said with the widest smile plastered in her face.

 

“It’s okay, anak. Anyway, I have to go. You take a rest okay? I love you so much, Anak ko. I-kiss mo na lang ako kay ate and kay mommy okay? Behave ka diyan, bunso and please don’t give your mommy a hard time okay?”

 

“Yes, Mama. I love you too! Bye!” The call ended with her blowing a kiss through the camera. Sobrang miss ko na ang mag-iina ko.

 

I opened my laptop to look for flights to LA. I need to win my wife back.

Chapter 3: stay firm, regina

“Hon, kamusta kayo diyan? Kamusta ang mga bata?” Narda asked as soon as Regina picked up the FaceTime call.

 

“Okay naman kami dito. Si Dad sumundo sa amin sa LAX. Kanina, nag In N Out kami. Okay naman tapos stroll onti then umuwi na to rest. Jet lagged pa daw yung dalawa.”

 

“Oh okay, okay. Ikaw? Jet lagged ka?”

 

“Hmm, sakto lang. More on antok siguro. Adjusting pa sa timezones.”

 

“Oh, okay okay.”

 

They both fell silent.

 

“’my, galit ka ba?”

 

“Ha?” Regina's eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Galit ka ba na… hindi ko na kayo naihatid sa airport?”

 

“Narda, alam ko namang may speaking engagement ka that day na hindi mo pwede i-skip. And It’s not like first time naman naming umalis na hindi ka sumama sa paghatid. Hinatid naman kami ni Kuya Caloy, it’s fine. Don’t worry.”

 

“I’m sorry, babe.” Narda said apologetically. She did want to come, she wanted to be the one to send them off. Hindi niya lang talaga pwede hindi attendan ang speaking engagement niya sa City Hall. Mismong Mayor din kasi ang nag-request na si Narda mismo ang maging speaker ng event.

 

“Pero ang mga anak mo, nagtatampo. Bakit daw hindi ka kasama, hiwalay na daw ba tayo.” Narda’s eyes widened. She tried looking at her wife’s eyes to check if there are any emotions, perhaps animosity, towards her.

 

Sa totoo lang, hindi naman sila nag-aaway. It’s just that, they feel something has shifted in their relationship and distance between them has become palpable. Parang ang layo layo ng loob nila sa isa’t-isa. Of course, they still sleep on the same bed. They still kiss on the mouth. But it’s evident between them that there has been a decrease in affection, in emotional connection even intimacy, despite their best efforts to reconcile or compromise.

 

“Ganun ba… ano sinagot mo?” Narda curiously asked while staring intently at her wife.

 

“Wala. I don’t think it’s wise to tell them our issues. Alam mo naman na yan. What's between us stays between us.”

 

“Eh ikaw ba?”

 

“What?”

 

“Nagtatampo ka?”

 

“Huh? Saan ako magtatampo? I asked for this trip, didn’t I? You said I could bring the girls with me, maybe even check whether California’s suitable environment for the kids, sumama ka man o hindi.”

 

“Baka lang nagtatampo ka kasi hindi ako sumama… because you know… work.” unbeknownst to Regina, Narda had just booked her flight before calling her.

 

“What’s new?” It wasn’t sarcastic or bitter. Regina was just fed up with the same reason. Alam ko. Parang mas asawa mo pa ang trabaho mo kaysa sa akin.

 

“I’m sorry.” Regina rolled her eyes. Truthfully, she hates her wife’s constant apologies. Puro na lang sorry. Wala na bang ibang alam sabihin ito kundi sorry? Wala man lang babawi ako or susunod ako or I mi–

 

“I miss you, hon.” Regina bit her lip to suppress her smile. Shit. Hindi ko in-expect na sasabihin niya talaga. Stay strong, Regina. Inalis muna ni Regina yung mukha niya sa harap ng camera para maitago yung reaksyon niya.

 

“Hmm?” Regina pretended not to hear what Narda just said.

 

“Sabi ko, I miss you hon. Miss na kita, kayo ng mga bata.” Narda was oblivious to the fact that Regina was donning a wide smile off-cam.

 

“Sige na, mag shower na ako para makatulog na din ako. Onti lang naitulog ko during flight eh. Tawag ka na lang ulit mamaya pag gising ng mga bata. Hinahanap ka din ni Dad, baka gusto ka din makausap.” She wanted to end that FaceTime call already. Baka bumigay pa ako. Mahirap na, sayang ang pag-iinarte ko.

 

“Sige hon, shower ka na. I-kiss mo na lang ako sa mga bata. Goodnight po. I love you so much.”

 

“Goodnight, Narda. Loveyouto–“ Regina ended the call quickly para hindi na niya makita ang reaction ni Narda after hearing what she had said.

 

Narda smiled like a fool. Humanda ka Regi, babawi ako sayo. Promise.

 

---

 

“Bri, can you come to my office after mo diyan? I just want to run by you something quick.” I whispered to Brian when I walked past by him on my way to my office.

 

“Cap? Sige sige, Sunod ako.” I heard him whisper back. I went ahead and sorted out the documents that was on top of my desk. Nakakastress, ang dami. I heard a light knock. That must be Brian.

 

“Cap, anong atin?” Brian said while slowly closing the door behind him.

 

“So… I booked a flight. To LA.” I sat down on my chair.

 

“Talaga? That’s good to hear! Kailan ang alis mo?” Brian said ecstatically while talking his seat across from me.

 

“On the 25^th sana. I spent the whole morning finishing paperworks. Yung mga ma-miss out kong events, idedelegate ko sa inyo. Mag papameeting ako mamaya bago matapos ang shift, that is if walang calls na papasok.” I said while arranging the documents scattered across my desk.

 

“Noted on that, Cap. Do you need me to do something specifically?”

 

“Hmm, wala naman so far. I mean, alam mo naman how uneasy I am leaving work. Not that wala akong tiwala sa team ha, pero siyempre hindi ako sanay na matagal nawawala sa trabaho. Longest time I was out nung na-ospital si Mikha for 4 days and ako lang gusto niyang magbantay. And even then, I was still on-call in case the station needed me. Eh ibang situation ngayon. Malayo ang States, hindi ako makaka sunod in case you guys need me.” I leaned on my chair. My back hurts from sitting down all day.

 

“I know, I know. But you have nothing to worry about. We’ve got this covered. Basta, as long as na-delegate mo naman yung tasks Mabuti, kayang kaya na naming ‘to. Stop worrying!” He said with matching thumbs up pa. Baduy talaga nito.

 

“Thanks, Brian. Maaasahan ka talaga.” I smiled with relief.

 

“So, anong balak mo?” He asked while raising his eyebrows, teasing.

 

“Anong balak?” I looked at him curiously.

 

“Eto naman si Narda. Ano, lilipad ka lang Amerika na walang baong pa-utot? Walang kahit anong pakulo? Paano mo aamuhin asawa mo niyan?” He was exasperated. Galit na galit naman si oa.

 

“Honestly, hindi ko pa alam… Of course, kailangan naming mag-usap. As in just the two of us, and this is the perfect timing since malayo ako sa trabaho. Alam ko namang yun ang issue ni Regina sa akin eh. Pero hindi ko pa alam, wala pa akong naiisip na pakulo. Siguro magbook ako ng couple's trip somewhere. Spend time na kaming dalawa lang.”

 

“Para naman ‘tong ewan. Kala mo hindi nanligaw? Ubos na ba baon mong moves? O sadyang nabulag mo lang si Regina noon?”

 

“Gago! Anong binulag? Patay na patay nga si Regina sakin noon, kahit kwek kwek date lang tuwang tuwa na yun basta ako kasama niya. Eh mga manliligaw nun puros mayayaman.” I defended myself.

 

I remember those times na working student pa lang ako, hiyang hiya talaga ako sa kanya kasi hindi ko siya madala sa restaurants na medyo sosyal. Ang sabi niya lang sakin “Narda, this is more than enough. Lagi naman ako kumakain sa mga ganun, I’d like to experience different cuisine naman.”

 

Tinawag niyang cuisine yung pares cart. Kakaloka.

 

Despite that, Regina not once ever complained or expected something more from me. My love was enough for her.

Since that day, I promised myself to work even harder hindi lang basta para ma-afford ko ang lifestyle na kinalakihan ni Regina, but to give her the stability she deserves and be able to give her new experiences kahit ano pa man yan. Kaya din siguro sobrang subsob ko sa trabaho. Siyempre, hindi na lang naman siya ang priority ko, pati na din yung dalawang bata.

 

“Kung saan saan na napunta isip mo. Ngumingiti ka mag-isa para kang timang.” I snapped back into reality.

 

“Naalala ko kasi yung mga panahong hindi ko pa nabibigay kay Regina yung mga bagay na deserve niya. I was nothing back then, yet she stayed and loved me the same. Hanggang ngayon, na kaya ko na ibigay sakanya ang lahat, mahal na mahal pa rin niya ako.” 

 

“Kita mo, mahal na mahal ka ng asawa mo. Kaya dapat, galing galingan mo bumawi!” He tapped my shoulders.

 

“Oo na, oo na.” I sighed.

 

“Malay niyo, masundan pa si Mikha.”

 

“Tarantado, ano tingin mo sa IVF, mani mani lang?” I shook my head at his antics. Pero ang totoo, may balak naman na kami noon pa, hindi lang napagtutuunan ng oras dahil nga  na-busy ako sa trabaho simula maging kapitan ako ng station.

 

“Dami dami niyong pera mag-asawa. Kaya nga kayo nagpapayaman ng husto diba?” He rolled his eyes at me. Birahin ko kaya ‘to? Iirap irap pa.

 

“Umalis ka na nga, naiimbyerna ako sa pagmumukha mo. you’re dismissed.” I rolled my eyes at him. 

 

Sumaludo pa ang timang. 

Notes:

Ano kaya ang babauning moves ni Narda? Also, Brian best wingman! gentle reminder na hindi ito angsty ah! I have no plans on making this fic heavy hehehe.

BTW OMG SUPER KAKILIG NUNG HEY YOU GIG NI JANELLA AAAAAHHHH TAPOS NAG DUET PA SILA NI JANE! MY JANENELLA HEART HUHU anyways,

Hello everyone! thank you for the kudos!

I'd like to ask for your feedbacks. I'm curious how are you finding the story so far? Any comments? suggestion? clarification? You can let me know below in the comments or thru twitter, my handle is @sapphicolaiah. Thank you so much!

Chapter 4: i am luckier

“Hello, bunso! where’s Mommy?” Narda was ecstatic to see her child’s face.

 

“Hello, Mama! Mommy’s downstairs making breakfast. Tatawag ko po? Wai-” Mikha was about to get up from her bed when Narda quickly stopped her.

 

“No, anak! I’m just asking kasi baka marinig niya yung sasabihin ko eh.” Narda panicked for a second, not wanting her surprise to be revealed.

 

“Oh, okay mama. What is it?” Mikha propped herself back to her bed.

 

“Mama’s flight is today! Pero keep quiet lang, okay? It will be our surprise. Mahaba pa ang flight ni Mama so baka bukas pa ako makarating diyan.”

 

“Really, Mama? I’m so happy! We will be a complete family once again!” Mikha clapped happily.

 

“Mikha, anak, we’ve always been a complete family. Always, okay?” Narda couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Okay, Mama! I love you! I can’t wait to see you later. I am so excited!”

 

“Excited about what, anak?” Regina was standing in Mikha’s doorway when she heard her bunso.

 

Narda was still on the FaceTime call, sweat forming on her forehead. Praying Mikha won’t spill her surprise for her wife.

 

“I-I uhm mommy I’m j-just excited for..” Mikha trailed, thinking of a quick palusot.

 

“For?” Regina was now raising an eyebrow, suspicion growing in. She was about to peek at Mikha’s phone.

 

“For Bluey’s concert, Mommy! You said you were going to take me there, remember?”

 

“Did I? Aren’t you a little too old for Bluey, anak?” Regina furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and amusement.

 

“Am not! I love Bluey, Mommy. Please please, Mommy take me to Bluey’s concert?” Mikha used her ultimate secret weapon, her cutest puppy eyes and pout combination.

 

“Okay, Anak. I’ll take you to Bluey’s concert one of these days. Okay? Anyway, I finished cooking breakfast na. Gisingin mo na si Ate mo so we can all eat breakfast together. Okay?”

 

Regina headed out to prepare the table. All Mikha could do was sigh in relief.

 

“Anak, muntik na yun ah. Buti nakapalusot ka! Galing ng anak ko, kanino ka ba nagmana?”

 

“Edi sayo, Mama!” Mikha giggled naughtily. She did get her Mama’s naughtiness alright.

 

“Dinamay mo pa ako diyan, Anak.” Narda shook her head in disbelief.

---

 

Narda sees her flight number being shown on the monitor. She was in the airport lounge for about an hour already, waiting to be boarded. To say she was anxious is an understatement, which is weird considering this wouldn’t be her first time flying.

 

She was anxious because she knew it would take much more than flying thousands of miles to win her family back. She needs to bring back the spark and magic her family once had. Her family is her reason, the answer to her whys. And she cannot wait to bring them back home with her.

 

She began to gather her things as she heard the announcement blast from the speakers that they could now start lining up to board the plane. She sent her wife a quick text message saying she’s about to hit the sack and that she misses and loves her before slipping her phone back to her pouch.

 

Sorry, mahal. Matutulog naman talaga ako, sa airplane nga lang papunta sa’yo.

---

Several hours and thousands of miles later, Narda arrived at LAX. It was still in the wee hours of morning and based on her calculations, it would take her at least an hour to arrive at her father-in-law’s place. She began to book a Lyft ride so she could finally rest when an idea popped into her mind. She pinned a 24-hour supermarket location on her Lyft app.

 

---

 

Striploin beef

Calamansi / Lime

Cane vinegar

Filipino toyo

Star anise

Jasmine rice

White wine

Whiskey for Dad

Takis for Belle

Swedish Fish for Mikha

Flowers for my wife

 

Narda was crossing off her grocery list one by one as she went through the aisle of the supermarket. She thought it would be a good idea to cook beef pares for breakfast. It became Regina’s comfort food ever since Narda took her to one during their first date. Of course, Narda had to learn the right recipe, just how Regina likes it. She has mastered the dish at this point, having repeatedly cooked the said dish during Regina’s pregnancy with Mikha.

 

---

 

“Love, please? Can you please check if Kuya Dennis is still open? I’m really craving it, babe. I think the baby wants her pares.” Regina cried to her wife. It was 2 in the morning and the pregnant woman was badly craving for the pares being sold at the plaza.

 

Narda stirred in her sleep, “Baby, Regina, baka wala na sila Kuya Dennis. Anong oras na, baby, eh. Tomorrow morning maaga ako gigising para bumili, okay? Yung unang luto pa yung bibilhin ko for you para mainit and masarap. Okay?”

 

Unbeknownst to her, Regina was already silently weeping beside her. She knew it isn’t Narda’s fault, it’s just that her hormones are going crazy, and she couldn’t help but be emotional over her favorite pares.

 

When Narda heard silent whimpers beside her, her eyes shot wide open. She immediately stood up and started hugging her wife, caressing her baby bump and planting small kisses on her wife’s shoulder.

 

“Do you really want pares, mahal ko?” Narda asked.

 

“Uh-hmm. I really do, Narda. And the baby, too.” Regina answered in between huffs. Oh, my sweet little baby, Narda thought.

 

“Can you wait? Maybe 45 minutes to an hour?”

 

Regina finally calmed down, wiping her tears. “Yes, baby. I will wait for my pares. Thank you po.”

 

“Okay mahal ko, wait for me okay? Read ka muna ng book or watch ka muna ng series para hindi ka ma-bore. But if you feel sleepy, sleep ka na okay? You can eat your pares in the morning. I love you so so so much.” Narda planted a kiss on her wife’s forehead and began heading down.

 

She carefully opened their fridge to check if she had enough beef to cook pares with. Initially, she thought of driving around Nueva Esperanza to look for an open pares cart but Narda remembered their OB-GYN advised not to eat street foods for the meantime, so she opted to cook instead. She prepped the ingredients and began cooking her wife’s favorite dish.

 

At 2 in the morning.

 

45 minutes later, she carefully scooped some pares and soup to a small plastic bowl wrapped in clear plastic (for the full street-style experience) with fried rice on the other bowl. She knocked ever so lightly on their bedroom door; in case her wife had fallen asleep. A smile formed in her lips when she saw her wife who was leaning against their headboard, reading a baby book.

“Baby, nandito na ang pares mo!”

 

Regina’s head snapped in her direction with a surprised reaction on her face. Narda really got me pares? I love her to bits!

 

“Dahan dahan lang baby, okay? Mainit pa ito. Also, hindi ito yung usual na pares na kinakain natin sa plaza so I hope okay lang. If hindi mo nagustuhan, bibili ako tomorrow morning kila Kuya, okay?” Narda explained nervously.

 

“It’s okay baby, I just really want pares right now. Grabe si Baby magcrave eh. Sorry mahal.” Regina pouted before settling down on their small table beside their bed. She excitedly scooped some soup and beef bits into her bowl of garlic rice. She got a spoonful of everything and shoved them into her mouth. Narda, on the other hand, was sweating. Beads formed on her forehead as she watched her wife chew her food.

 

“Narda.”

 

“…yes? Hindi masarap baby? Akina, iluwa mo dito sa kamay ko. Ikukuha kita ng tubi-“ Narda panicked.

 

“ANG SARAP!” Regina exclaimed, joy evident in her eyes.

 

“T-talaga? Masarap talaga?”

 

“Yes, Mahal, ang sarap talaga! Saan mo nabili ito? Mas gusto ko ito kaysa sa binibili natin sa Plaza!” She began to scoop some more.

 

“Regina, baby..”

 

“Hmm?” Regina hummed while chewing.

 

“I cooked it. Ako ang nagluto nung pares.” Narda said sheepishly.

 

“You did? Mahal, ang sarap nito! Thank you so much, baby! The baby and I loved it, ang s-swerte namin sayo ni baby!” Regina was starting to become emotional once again but thankfully Narda was quick to notice so she embraced her wife into a tight hug and kissed her.

 

Regina was able to regain composure in the warmth of her wife’s hug. “Kain ka din. Sabayan mo ako!” Regina prepped her wife with kisses before proceeding to eat again.

 

Narda stared at her wife lovingly. She really hit the jackpot on this one. It was a very simple dish, really. It may not be as fancy as the Italian cuisine her wife grew up eating, but she ate it with enthusiasm as if she was dining in a 5-star restaurant.

 

 She’s carrying my child, all I did was cook them pares. I am luckier.

 

---

 

Narda finished putting all the grocery items in the bag and proceeded to book another ride. As she was waiting for her lift, she sent a text to her father-in-law.

 

Narda

Good morning po, Dad. Gising na po ba kayo?

 

Dad (Rex Vanguardia)

Good morning, Anak. Oo, gising na ako. Sila Regina at ang mga bata, hindi pa ata. Bakit? May problema ba diyan? Tatawag ba ako? Gisingin ko ba mag-iina mo?

 

Narda

Huwag po muna, Dad. Actually po, nasa Von’s po ako ngayon. Naghihintay lang po ng uber ko papunta diyan.

 

Dad (Rex Vanguardia)

Ha? Nandito ka sa States, anak? Bakit hindi ka nagsabi? Kakadating mo lang ba? Ako na lang sana sumundo sayo sa airport? Saka bakit nasa Von’s ka?

 

Narda

May mga binili lang po, Dad. Magluto po sana ako ng breakfast para sa mag-iina ko. Nag text lang po talaga ako para po alam ko kung may magbubukas ng pinto for me pagdating hehe

 

Dad (Rex Vanguardia)

Sige anak, hintayin kita para matulungan kita sa mga dala mo. Ikaw talaga, pwede mo naman ipagpabukas yan. Galing ka sa long flight.

 

Narda

Okay lang po, Dad. Need ko po bumawi sa mag-iina ko. Hehe.

Narda

Nandito na po yung Uber. Share ko na lang po sainyo yung location ko para alam niyo po kung malapit na ako. Salamat, Dad. See you po!

 

[Narda shared her location]

 

Dad (Rex Vanguardia)

Sige anak, hintayin kita sa front porch.

Ingat ka!

 

 

Narda slid her phone back to her pocket as her Uber ride started to pull up. She carefully loaded all her stuff into the trunk and made her way to the back seat.

 

 

She cannot wait to see her family.

Notes:

Hello! Sorry it took me a month before updating. Honestly, sobrang daming nangyari lang haha and somehow nahirapan ako mag sulat ng update for this. But here you go! the next chapter will definitely be posted a lot sooner kasi magkasunod lang sila ng timeline with this one.

Also, akala ko madami na itong nasulat ko pero apparently parang ang onti pa din hahahaha so bear with me please! I will make the next one better and hopefully longer. Magkikita na ulit ang mag-iina!

If you have comments or suggestions, feel free to reach me at Twitter. @sapphicolaiah
I also have a curiouscat, in case you want to send it anonymously! https://curiouscat.live/sapphicolaiah

Thank you so much!

Chapter 5: everything

Summary:

Narda begins to woo her family.

Today, Regina woke up later than usual for some reason. Ever since they arrived in California, she has been waking up earlier than she used to back when they were still in Manila despite the timezone changes because she had no help to rely on. No Manang Lita and certainly no Narda. 

 

Speaking of Narda, Regina remembered to quickly send a text to her wife before getting out of bed. 

 

Regina 

Good morning, babe. I woke up late today, siguro nag aadjust ako sa timezone differences. I think the kids are asleep pa. I've been letting them sleep longer kasi pag maaga sila gumigising, laging nag-aaya mag shopping haha. How was work? I love you, hon.

 

 

 

While she anticipated for Narda's reply, she quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face in her en suite bathroom. 

 

 

Narda

typing...

 

 

Regina's eyebrows furrowed when she saw her wife was typing a reply. Regina knew her wife is usually asleep by this hour so it came a surprise to her to see that Narda was awake.

 

 

Narda

Good morning, hon, I love you so much :*

 

Huh. Since when did Narda learn how to use emojis?

 

 

Regina shook her head in disbelief and headed downstairs to prepare for breakfast.

 

 

Unbeknownst to Regina, though, is that her whole family was waiting for her to wake up.

 

---

 

When Narda arrived from the grocery, she was welcomed by her father-in-law. Narda did a quick shower in the guest bathroom and shortly after joined her father-in-law for a cup of coffee.

 

 

"How was your flight, Anak? Biglaan lang ba yung pagsunod mo? Do they know you're coming?" Rex asked as he sipped from his cup.

 

 

"Okay naman po, Dad. Hindi pa rin talaga ako sanay sa long flights." She took a sip from her own cup before continuing. "Hindi naman po sa biglaan, Dad. Balak ko naman po talaga sumunod kaya lang kasi may engagements po ako and mga kailangang ayusin sa station bago po ako mag file ng leave. Hindi rin po alam ni Regina na susunod ako pero si bunso po alam. Nasabihan ko na po kahapon." 

 

 

"Akala ko ako lang ang hindi nakaka alam."

 

 

"Kailangan ko bumawi sa mag-iina ko, Dad. Hindi ko po napapansin na sobrang tutok ko sa trabaho eh nararamdaman na pala nilang neglected sila." 

 

 

Rex could only nod at his daughter-in-law's statement.

 

 

Narda continued, "Alam mo naman Dad na I came from nothing. Iginapang lang nila Nanay at Lola yung pag-aaral po namin ni Ding kaya po ako nakapag tapos. At nung hiningi ko po ang kamay ng anak niyo, ipinangako ko po na bibigyan ko siya, sila ng mga anak namin, ng magandang kinabukasan. Na hindi mag-aadjust ng lifestyle si Regina just because I came from a simple and modest life."

 

 

 

"Anak, naiintindihan ko naman 'yun. Pero you also have to remember na malayo na ang narating ng career mo. Hindi na ikaw yung Narda na nakilala ng anak ko na nagsisimula pa lang. You've made a name for yourself. Kapitan ka na ng estasyon mo and you've worked so hard to get to where you are now. You've provided your family a roof over their heads, a nice one if I may add, your children attend a great school, alam kong may ipon kayo at insured naman ang mga anak mo. They are secured for life kahit hindi ka magpaka subsob sa trabaho."

 

 

 

Narda took a deep sigh

 

 

"If you think about it, I think hinahanap hanap ng asawa mo yung Narda na nakilala niya years ago. Yung Narda na kahit simple lang ang pamumuhay eh punong puno naman ng pagmamahal. Yung sobrang attentive at sobra sobra kung mag-alaga."

 

 

Rex and Narda shared a knowing smile.

 

 

"Kaya nga po sumunod ako agad. Dinelegate ko na lang po yung ibang trabaho ko para makasunod dito. Gusto ko talagang bumawi sa mga bata at lalo na po kay Regina."

 

 

Narda's cup is empty by now. She got up, got her father-in-law's cup and took them to the kitchen.

 

 

"Dad, hihiramin ko po muna ang kusina mo ah. Ipagluluto ko lang ang mag-iina ko."

 

 

"Sigurado ka ba? I mean, you came from a long flight. Puwede naman tayo mag order na lang ng pagkain."  

 

 

Narda smiled, "Sisimulan ko na pong bumawi. I think matagal tagal nang hinahanap ni Regina ang paboritong pares niya." 

 

 

Rex nodded, "Sige anak, ikaw muna ang bahala diyan. Pupunta lang ako sa office. If you need me, kumatok ka lang." 

 

 

Narda then proceeded to prepare the ingredients to her wife's favorite pares.

 

 

While waiting for the dish to finish cooking, Narda carefully made her way upstairs and into her children's bedroom to wake them up. 

 

 

She gently kissed the top of Belle's head and whispered,

 

 

"Good morning, Ate. Mama's here." 

 

 

Belle stirred in her sleep and slowly opened her eyes. She immediately sat up and hugged her Mama. 

 

 

"Mama! I missed you so much!" Belle's arms were wrapped in her mama's neck and wouldn't let go. 

 

 

"Mama's here, love. But quiet muna kasi Mommy doesn't know I am here. Do you want to surprise her with me?" 

 

 

Belle nodded her head excitedly. Narda smiled and hugged her first-born a little tighter before letting go.

 

 

The two then proceeded to Mikha's bed.

 

 

Narda slowly sat next to the sleeping Mikha and showered her with careful kisses.

 

 

"Mommy... five more minutes please... am sleepy..."  Mikha grumbled keeping her eyes closed. This earned a chuckle from Narda.

 

 

Narda continued to shower Mikha with kisses, only this time a little bit more aggressive.

 

 

"Mommy... please... it tickles man.... s'eepy pa" Belle could no longer hold her laughter, to which Mikha heard. 

 

 

When Mikha finally opened her eyes to take a look, she was greeted by her Mama's cheeky smile.

 

 

"MAMA!" Mikha jumped out of bed and attacked her mother with a bear hug.

 

 

 

"Good morning, my love. I'm here!"  Narda gently kissed her daughter's head. She was, however, surprised to see her youngest's face stricken with tears.

 

 

 

"Mikha, anak, why are you crying?"

 

 

 

"M-Mama p-please don't d-divorce with Mommy. Please! I'll do better in s-school and... and... I'll... always clean my room... and and... Ate and I won't fight anymore! and i'll be a good girl!  "

 

 

Narda was taken aback. She definitely did not expect those words to come out of her daughter's mouth.

 

 

"Anak, you and ate are already the best kids. You don't have to do anything or be the best in anything, okay? Kasi no one's divorcing naman. Who told you were divorcing? Your Mommy and I love each other so much, we'll never divorce. In fact, we will grow old and get wrinkly forever. Okay? So stop crying na. No one is divorcing anyone."

 

 

Narda gently wiped the tears from Mikha's face and kissed her on the cheek. 

 

 

"Anak ka talaga ng Mommy mo, sobrang iyakin!"

 

 

When Mikha calmed down, she carried her youngest and made their way downstairs carefully.

 

"Let's surprise Mommy?"

 

---

 

Right when Regina made her way, she heard a soft humming from the kitchen

 

 

You're a falling star, you're the get away car

You're the line in the sand when I go too far

You're the swimming pool, on an August day

And you're the perfect thing to say

 

 

Regina's heart was beating so loud she swore she could feel it jump out of her chest. 

 

 

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute

Oh, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do

Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true

'Cause you can see it when I look at you

 

 

 

This was her and Narda's song. Narda would jokingly call it their 'theme song' when they were still girlfriends. This was also played during their wedding. Regina took slow steps only to see her kids and wife, all wearing apron, standing right beside the kitchen island holding flowers and chocolates.

 

 

 

Regina couldn't believe her eyes. Narda's here? Is she really here?

 

 

 

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times

It's you, it's you, you make me sing

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything

 

 

 

"Hi, Mommy. Surprise?"

 

 

 

Narda was about to step forward when Regina launched herself and embraced her wife. Narda couldn't help but hug her wife a little tighter.

 

 

 

"Babe, what the hell? You didn't tell me you were coming!" Regina said while her face was burried in Narda's neck. Oh how I missed this smell

 

 

 

"Baby naman, edi hindi na surprise yun if sinabi ko sayo! Ikaw talaga." Narda chuckled and gave her wife a quick kiss on the lips.

 

 

 

When the two broke their hug, Regina took the flowers Narda was holding.

 

 

 

"What's with all these?" Regina said as she saw the food prepared on the kitchen island.

 

 

 

"I just want you to remember why you fell inlove with me. I'm so sorry, hon, that I haven't been able to attend to your needs. Andito na po ako, bumabawi sa'yo, sa inyo ng mga bata."

 

 

Upon hearing this, Regina kissed her wife with full of love and longing. 

 

 

"Ewwww, can we please just eat? I'm starving!" 

 

 

The couple broke their kiss and laughed at their daughter's antics. 

 

 

 

"What did you guys prepare ba?" when Regina took a peak at the serving bowl, her eyes widened in shock.

 

 

 

"Pinapaalala ko lang sa'yo, Mahal, kung ano ang mamimiss mo sa Pilipinas pag lumipat lumipat tayo rito sa Amerika." Narda smirked at her wife.

 

 

 

Regina raised her eyebrow, "Anong tayo? Sino may sabing kasama ka?"

 

 

 

"Mahal naman eh!" Narda pouted at the statement. 

 

 

 

"Ha ha ha sherves youh right, Mama!" Mikha hit back all while her mouth is full of pares.

 

 

 

Notes:

so..... that took a while 😅

 

hehehe i have been receiving one to two messages asking if this has been discontinued. the answer would be no! this is my first baby and i wont abandon this although i cant promise updates will be consistent, especially now that i am busier than usual. but hey, i appreciate you guys who read this. i owe you an apology for making you wait so long.

hope you enjoyed this one!

Notes:

This is purely work of fiction. Please separate fiction from reality. This is just a product of my imagination. Feedback will be highly appreciated. Thank you!

Let me know your thoughts below in the comments or through X at @sapphicolaiah :)