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A little past midnight, the quiet alley erupted into chaos, filled with the piercing screams of a man in pain and the frantic pleas of someone else, echoing through the darkness. The words, though muffled like underwater whispers, still conveyed the desperation of the pleas, already mournful.
As if a switch had been flipped, the air grew still, as if all life had been sucked out, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. The only sounds that could be heard were the faint gasps of someone and the distant echo of a fractured howl.
Just as suddenly as the silence settled, a piercing, mournful cry broke the stillness and echoed throughout the surroundings.
San jolted awake, his heart pounding in his chest. Lately, his dreams had become far more intense, leaving him waking up with tear-stained cheeks, his chest tight and heavy with the weight of an unfamiliar grief. He woke up with the same loud and jarring screams falling from his lips that followed him into his familiar fitful sleep.
Juu’s voice rang out with far too much enthusiasm to be real as she called, “Come on, great-grandpa, let’s go! We don’t want to miss the festival.”
The sound of Juu’s relentless knocking echoed through the room until San couldn’t take it anymore. Worked up by the loud knocks, he got out of the bed and forcefully yanked open the door, his eyes blazing with fury.
She met his glares with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes — a familiar expression that she had worn since she was a young child, always gleefully running circles around him, making him adore her all the more.
“It’s getting late.”
“Juu,” San sighed wearily, “I know. I’ll hurry down before we have to go.”
He closed the door on her face, leaving her on the other side. San could hear her shout through the door, her voice muffled, “How is it fair that I had to wake up earlier than you, you old man?”
San rolled his eyes in exasperation and trudged off to the shower, letting the cold water wash away the fatigue from his body. Though he’d never admit it, he was running quite late if the clock on his bedroom wall was any indication.
The air was filled with the lively sounds of music and laughter as San and his family walked towards the temple, where the festival was in full swing. Every breath was perfumed with the mingling scents of flowers and incense, while the vibrant colors and bustling crowds added to the festivity.
In the midst of the bustling crowd, he clenched his fists in frustration as a clumsy child, struggling to balance a bowl of flowers, narrowly missed colliding with him and instead, struck his hips with the weighty bronze bowl. Juu hid her laughter behind a cough, seeing his face as the kid’s mom profusely apologized to him, despite San waving it off and assuring her that he wasn’t hurt.
Thankfully, he was saved from further embarrassment as Tao came running towards them. He had a noticeable sense of urgency as he quickly ushered them towards the back of the temple. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, a glimmer of hope lit up in San’s heart like a beacon.
“Where have you all been?” With a sudden outburst, Tao shouted at them, but his demeanor changed instantly when he caught sight of San’s expression. “I have something important to share,” he added as he quickly apologized.
“Did you find what’s wrong with my great-grandfather?” Chong immediately asked, “the dreams are getting far worse.”
With a nod, he pulled them deeper into the shrine, the scent of incense growing stronger with each step. While the public was barred from the inner sanctum, they went inside without delay as the benefactor of the temple that had been built by their ancestors.
Tao held onto San’s wrist, feeling the steady pulse beneath his fingertips as his lips moved in silent prayer. “P’San,” he said, “do the dreams still linger in that alley?”
“Ever since these started, I have seen no other dreams or nightmares, not even Khun Wad.”
San sighed and leaned back in the chair, deliberately keeping his eyes off the goddess. He found her statue unsettling to look at. Despite everything, he continued to pray fervently, grateful for the long life she had granted him, and the precious opportunity to be reunited with Wad.
“I think we might find Khun Wad soon,” Tao said, his excitement palpable as he carefully opened the box. The stone remained unchanged, its rough surface untouched by time. The more San looked at it, the more he could still taste its lingering bitterness, as if it had permeated his entire being.
“We might as well,” Juu sighed, “it’s only been around 200 years.”
Hundred years longer than his given time, Tao, those who came before him and San were no closer to finding out why. He was willing to embrace death back then, when he thought his time was coming to an end. Living without the chance of being reunited with the one person he ever loved seemed meaningless to him. Yet as the day came and went, San remained breathing.
Time continued its steady march forward, carrying San along as days turned into nights, full moons waxed and waned, and nearly a century slipped by. Yet San, like an ancient relic, remained, as if bearing the weight of a long-forgotten punishment.
“I’ll need a day or two,” he replied, “but I’ll gather all the information on where we can find her.”
“Oh, then why did you call us here if you didn’t already have it?” Ratt questioned, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Weren’t you all here for the ritual?”
The kids all smiled and nodded while San stood up and quickly lit some incense. Just as the ritual was starting, he was overcome by a wave of uneasiness that compelled him to escape before it was too late.
“Great-grandpa?” Chong called out for him, “aren’t you staying?”
“Given that his supposed death date is approaching once again, grandpa, it would be wise to allow him to go. The ritual could be uncomfortable for him.”
Chong’s sigh, mixed with the echo of the thick wooden door closing behind San, left a heavy atmosphere in the room. “Now that we don’t know the exact time he has left,” Chong added, staring at the closed door, “it’s been painful to watch his grief.”
His father was a young boy when they prepared for his death, but the day came and went, along with countless others, and San remained looking just as young as he had in the pictures with his father as he did in the picture with his granddaughter.
His mind was a blank slate as San made his escape, unsure of where his feet were taking him. He just walked out of the inner sanctum and entered the crowd that was finally dwindling.
San stood by the entrance as a group of people exited the temple, their footsteps echoing softly against the stone floor. He just leaned against a pillar, staring at the flickering glow of lit incense and the reverent atmosphere surrounding the statue of the goddess. The longer he stood there, the more his heart felt heavy. He quickly checked his watch and realized it would take his family far too long to leave the shrine. He made up his mind to just sit inside the car as he waited for them.
Just as he was about to exit the temple, someone came crashing down on top of him, their combined weight sending them both sprawling onto the cold temple floor.
San barely took a moment to catch his breath when he looked down and saw a pair of lips so captivating they seemed to belong in a painting.
As the boy’s lips moved, he suddenly snapped back to reality, making him suppress a shudder at the strange sensation of staring so intently at a man’s mouth.
He jumped up, trying to mirror San’s movement, but staggered slightly and San quickly reached out and pulled him by the waist, trying to steady him. As he stumbled forward, the boy’s lips unintentionally brush against San’s neck, the touch sending a jolt of electricity through his body. He instinctively wrapped his arms tightly around him.
“Are you okay?” San asked, his voice filled with concern, as the boy clung tightly to his neck, taking deep, shaky breaths.
“I’m fine, Phi,” he said, but his trembling voice betrayed his true state.
San almost felt the urge to pull him away from his body and inquire if he had never fallen in his life before, but somehow he felt the need to calm him down instead. “Is there something I can do?” San asked, just because he was worried about letting the boy go when he was shaking like a leaf.
With a bright, almost flirty smile on his face, the boy immediately jumped back, catching San off guard.
“Thank you, Phi. I wasn’t watching where I was going,” he said with a smile that never once faded. “I’m Vee.”
“Oh, San,” San replied, “be careful in case I’m not there next time.”
“Thank you again, P’San.”
With a smile on his face, Vee swiftly darted away, his red bag slung loosely over his shoulder as he made his way inside, his smile all but gone as soon as he turned away from San.
Vee’s determined stride carried him towards the shrine, where he could almost feel the piercing gaze of the goddess’ statue, as if she were silently watching him with pity. He could use the pity of a goddess.
Clasping the burning incense tightly in his trembling hands, he pleaded with the Goddess, “I beg you, I will do anything. Just don’t take her away from me. She’s all I have.”
Gripping his bag tightly, Vee stepped out of the shrine and was immediately greeted by a heavy downpour, the rain soaking him within seconds. In a panicked rush, he ran back under the cover of the temple, anxiously double-checking the time, realizing he was far too late for his shift.
San was sitting in his car, patiently waiting for his family, when he spotted the boy from earlier nervously glancing around. He watched quietly as the boy almost burned a trail on the concrete floor as he paced back and forth. San took a deep breath, his reluctance easily visible as he stepped out of the car and sprinted towards him.
Vee’s face instantly brightened with a warm smile when he spotted San, effectively hiding any signs of his earlier unease and frustration, leaving San slightly startled.
“Need a ride?” He asked, casually swiping off a few drops that were on his jacket.
“Really, Phi? Are you sure? Because I could really use one.”
San nodded and led him towards his car, but halfway through, he paused abruptly. “Can you wait a few more minutes? I need to take my family home, too.”
“Right, of course, no problem.”
With a smile playing on his lips, he climbed into the car and nestled into the back seat, tucking himself into the corner. San shut the door and sprinted through the downpour, the rain drenching him, making his clothes cling to his body as he made his way to the driver’s seat.
“Thank you again, P’San,” Vee said, meeting San’s gaze through the rearview mirror. Just like that, the smile that had disappeared when San turned away returned to his face. San smiled in return, realizing that if the kid could fake smiles as if he was getting paid for it, San could do it too.
Juu was the first one to spot Vee in the car. A wide smile spread across her face, her tone teasing as she asked him, “Oh, you’re very handsome. How do you even know P’San?”
“Juu, get inside,” San interjected, cutting off whatever conversation they were about to have. “He’s already quite late. Let’s go.”
As everyone settled in, Vee smiled warmly, giving others plenty of space by retreating even further to the corner of the car. San’s frown deepened, his eyes fixed on the boy huddled in the corner, as if he was uncomfortable with taking more space.
Thankfully, Juu noticed the same and, ignoring Vee’s protests about being fine, she moved ahead and settled by the edge, creating enough room for him to lean back and relax. She chuckled, a teasing smile spreading across her lips, as she proclaimed, “You’re P’San’s first friend, so consider yourself lucky because I’ll be pampering you like royalty, at least for the moment.”
San and Vee exchanged glances, their silence speaking volumes as they conceded to her point. Finally, Vee relaxed back against the seat. This time, as San drove out of the parking lot, he noticed Vee smiling to himself.
--
As soon as Vee laid eyes on San entering the shrine, a bright smile spread across his face and he eagerly called out, “P’San!” before rushing after him.
The relentless rain had persisted for a week, leaving no place untouched by its dampness, not even areas with a roof. Unaware of the floor’s slippery surface, Vee dashed towards San, only realizing his mistake when he began to slip and ultimately collide with San.
San barely had time to register Vee’s call for him before the weight of the falling boy crashed into him. Again. They both tumbled to the floor, and just in time, San placed his palm under Vee’s head to cushion the impact.
While desperately trying to break their fall, their lips brushed against each other in a moment of accidental intimacy. It was a just a fleeting touch, but it left them both stunned, the electric sensation lingering long after their lips had parted. San was the first to pull back, his eyes widening in surprise as he quickly stood up, his heart racing.
Vee’s calls for him filled the air, growing fainter and fainter, echoing in his ears as he sprinted away from him. He ran into the back of the shrine, the sound of his own ragged breath echoing off the walls, something akin to guilt gnawing at his insides for even entertaining the thought of prolonging that kiss.
Remaining seated on the chilly, damp floor, Vee felt the discomfort in his ankles intensify, his eyes never straying from the door that San had vanished through. He felt a surge of anger, but it quickly dissipated, leaving behind a deep sadness, until he eventually reverted to his usual state of indifference.
Despite everything, a smile tugged at his lips as his fingers gently grazed them, unable to resist enjoying the feeling of San’s lips pressing against his own.
A sudden burst of lightning illuminated the dark sky, followed by a deafening boom of thunder that made his spine shiver, urging him to quickly exit the shrine. With each step, he winced in pain as he limped back to the familiar sights and sounds of the real world.
From a small window, San watched as Vee left the shrine, a pang of guilt washing over him as he saw the boy limping away in the drizzle. He was torn, but his indecision kept him trapped in the alcove, unwilling to lend a helping hand.
“P’San?”
Tao’s voice startled him so much that he instinctively recoiled, prompting San to react immediately by pulling him away from the door and leading him into the office, where he wasted no time in locking the door.
“Can you find out more about that boy?”
“Which boy? The one you were kissing?”
San glared at the young man. “Who was kissing?” He let out a sigh and sank into the creaky wooden chair, the unsettling feeling in his gut growing stronger with each passing moment. “There is something weird about that kid, aside from his terrible lack of coordination.”
Tao let out an exasperated sigh and agreed to investigate the matter for San. He couldn’t fully relax until the old man finished his grumbling and left, and then he finally settled comfortably into his chair, feeling the tension release from his shoulders.
“Weird?” He chuckled to himself and said, “Could it be that you’re simply experiencing a crush?” He wouldn’t have dared to say this in front of San, who had a reputation for being quick-tempered.
--
Tao patiently observed the moon’s gradual movement throughout the week, waiting for it to align perfectly for the ritual. It was only through these rituals that Tao could gain insight into the individuals whose destinies were intertwined with the stones.
When he sat down to pray to the mother goddess about Vee, he didn’t expect any response. Suddenly, a delicate scent of flowers and the pungent aroma of crushed stones filled the air in the enclosed inner sanctum, catching him off guard and making him realize she might be listening after all.
He had already used his contacts within the police force to dig up information about Vee. With some promising leads in hand, he eagerly awaited his appointment with the officer the next day, excited to finally get his hands on the file about Vee.
Still, a persistent feeling had urged him to go through with the ritual, even if he doubted it would provide any insight. His predecessor had thought him the value of trusting his instincts when it came to the supernatural and Tao took it seriously.
But as he looked at the calligraphy on the scroll, the ink still glistening under the flickering lights, and an unsettling coldness crept down his back. Startled, he dashed out of the shrine, his heart racing, desperate to find San and warn him.
--
Somewhere in his thoughts, Juu’s words lingered, making him wonder if there was any truth to her statement — Vee was, indeed, his first friend.
As they talked about Vee’s grandmother and the tough decisions ahead, hidden underneath San’s umbrella, they couldn’t escape the uncertain path both of them were treading.
San listened intently, his eyes locked on the boy, his mind racing with ideas on how to help. He was amazed at how Vee effortlessly maintained a smile while they were talking.
“It’s okay, Phi.” Vee’s voice remained steady. “I’m ready to do whatever it takes to keep her with me.”
San’s guilt pressed down on him like a heavy weight, making it hard for him to breathe, as he spoke the words, “Vee, you can’t defy death,” the bitter irony almost making him choke on the words.
Vee’s jaw clenched, his brows furrowing in a barely hidden scowl, as he heard San’s words, a wave of frustration coursing through him, resenting the constant reminder that he already knew. Despite his anger, he swallowed it down and turned towards San with a bright smile, appreciating his attentive ear for his complaints.
With no particular destination in mind, they walked side by side, the soft brush of their hands and the rhythmic sound of the rain falling onto the umbrella creating a peaceful symphony in the quiet night. Vee’s hands tightened into a tight fist, the longing to intertwine their fingers and feel the man’s hand radiating warmth consuming him.
Vee, completely lost in thought, was caught off guard and didn’t realize what was unfolding until it was too late.
He hit the ground, the rain water splashing onto his face, just as the sharp sound of a gunshot pierced the otherwise peaceful midnight air. He felt an excruciating fiery pain shoot through his veins, causing him to clutch his chest as his white shirt quickly drenched in crimson blood. With every labored breath, a sharp and unfamiliar pain seared through his chest, leaving him gasping for air.
The impact of Vee hitting the ground sent a shockwave through San’s body, accompanied by the metallic scent of blood that hung in the air. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around Vee, hearing his pained moans echo through the air as they hid behind a tree. The meager cover offered little protection from the hail of bullets, but he shielded Vee with his own body, not even caring about the inevitable pain.
It was the blaring noise of police sirens that broke San’s trance, compelling him to instantly jump into action and apply pressure to Vee’s gushing wound. Vee’s shallow breaths echoed in San’s ears, making it difficult for him to breathe.
Belatedly, he noticed Tao on his knees, panic clear in his voice as he urgently guided the ambulance to their exact whereabouts. Vee was quickly whisked away in the ambulance, accompanied by Tao at San’s instruction.
With them gone, San anxiously retraced their steps to where Vee was first hit, the ground already getting washed with rain, leaving behind a pinkish puddle. He desperately scanned the surroundings for any clues left behind, eyes burning as he held back his anger, or perhaps it was his tears. As he tried to follow the faint traces left by the assailants, he was forcefully escorted away from the scene by the police.
“Kid,” the old police officer had called him aside, “I understand that you’re furious your lover got shot. But being a hero here and risking your life won’t change anything. Go, be by his side instead.”
Without wasting time on correcting the man, San headed to the hospital. While he was largely incorrect, the man did make a valid point - San should be at the hospital. Vee was shot because of him. That he was sure of.
--
“Khun San!”
As Tao appeared in front of him, San quickly cut the phone, and together they hurried inside the hospital. Their footsteps echoed through the air, adding to the already tense atmosphere.
The hospital wasn’t as crowded as usual; the hour was late enough for only the inpatients to be around, or emergencies. As San and Tao walked around in front of the operating room, the silence engulfed them, broken only by the hushed whispers of nurses and doctors, their swift movements barely making a sound.
His family, too, was on their way, as he would have to leave soon. They were almost frantic as soon as San relayed the news. In the short time they had known each other, Vee had managed to endear himself to them as well with his kindness and charm.
Vee was still in surgery as the night wore on and it was getting dangerously close to midnight. San’s frustration grew as he was left in the dark, with no one willing to give him any updates.
Tao, unable to bear the horrifically long silence any longer, asked, “Do you know about him?” Both their eyes remained focused on the closed door of the operating room, waiting for any sign to emerge.
“Him? The person who hurt Vee? I don’t, but I need you to find out so I can wring his neck. No one gets to find peace after causing harm to my people.”
“Khun San, not whoever that is. Vee,” Tao whispered, his voice barely audible, even in the stillness of the hospital, “I did the ritual to learn about Vee, and I got something.”
“Ritual?” San frowned and said, “I thought you said only people connected to the stone can-“
“Yes,” he interjected, his eyes fixed on San, silently urging him to piece it together, but San was at a loss. He knows Vee isn’t Wad, he can’t be. Because if he was, this would be the second time he failed to protect the person he held dear.
“How can he be?”
“Khun San,” Tao sighed, reaching into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He showed him the picture he had taken of the scroll. San couldn’t make sense of it, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. The words that followed felt like a punch to the gut, his heart nearly ceasing to beat.
“Vee. He gave up his life for you to have more.”
1924
With the men hot on his trail, San ducked towards the back of the alley, the smell of garbage filling his nostrils as he hid close to a dumping area. From the mostly hidden spot behind the wall, he peered out and watched as the men, their faces concealed by cloth, scouring the area in search of him, overturning every basket, kicking open every doors much to the dismay of the people leaving in the houses.
His fists clenched tightly, knuckles turning white as his face flushed crimson with rage. It took all his willpower to stay hidden and not run out to help the people nearby whose houses were getting ransacked. While he may be unbeatable in a fight, he couldn’t allow himself to be stabbed or shot in front of such a large crowd. It was a burden he couldn’t afford.
Still, determined to lead them further away from the crowd he ran out of the spot, which, as it turned out, was as a bad idea as he had expected. Just as San moved, he heard the distinct sound of a bullet flying past him, and then felt a searing pain as another one struck his arms.
The sharp sting of his healing wound made San’s eyes roll in annoyance. Ignoring the discomfort, he ran deeper into the alley, trying to lead them away from the occupants.
Seeking refuge in a nearby shed, he ignored the hens clucking nervously around him, their feathers rustling. He held his breath, heart pounding in his chest as he watched the dark silhouettes of the men pass by. All he could think about was buying some time until Tao showed up with help.
San waited a bit more than necessary, making certain that the men had completely vanished from his vicinity before dashing out of the shed and towards the busy main road. As he made his way through the busy market, his gaze darted around in constant vigilance. The vendors, with warm smiles and courteous bows, greeted him, tactfully ignoring the blood that marred the sleeve of his once immaculate white shirt.
That was a consistent trait of everyone living on their side of the city — don’t inquire about matters that could land you in prison or be used to deport you.
Just as he was about to reach his club, Tao suddenly appeared in front of him, breathless, and informed him that the police had managed to catch two of the men who were chasing after San.
“They won’t say anything,” San said and turned towards the old lawyer who was lurking behind Tao, who still looked at him with barely hidden disgust and fear.
San was sure that the lawyer’s loyalty was solely tied to the substantial sum of money he received as payment. He never tried to talk to San unless it was regarding something that might interfere with that payment. “Why are you here?”
“He wanted to talk about something.” Tao shrugged and entered the club, leaving the lawyer with no choice but to quietly enter as well.
San reached out and took the refreshing water that was handed to him as he walked towards the back door. He entered through the kitchen and called out to one of the boys, asking for hot water to be sent to his room so he could take a bath.
“Master San,” the lawyer said softly as he entered his office, “we need to be careful. A lot of Chinese-owned businesses have been facing raids and closures, but it seems like you are the one they are particularly interested in targeting.”
“I’m aware,” San sighed, the weariness clear in his voice, “we have to make it safe for everyone working under me.” It was just another task to add to his ever-growing list of things to accomplish before his time ran out in a few months.
“That American businessman reached out to me again,” the lawyer added, “and I believe it’s worth considering. You’ll keep a portion of the profits, plus you can escape and hide rather than remaining vulnerable here.”
Thankfully, before San could erupt in anger, Tao jumped in, “this land has been in Khun San’s family for generations. He can’t just give it away to someone who randomly showed up a few months back.”
“It was just a suggestion.”
“Keep those to yourself,” San stated firmly, before adding, “look into how we can make this club even more legitimate and secure. Many people who have nowhere else to go rely on this place. I can’t leave them in a lurch.”
Tao, the one person who truly grasped the significance of his words, fell silent, his lips forming a frown as he averted his gaze from San as the lawyer quickly scrambled out of the office, most likely cursing San under his breath.
The pungent stench of garbage and blood clung to his clothes, but he couldn’t take a break just yet. Instead, he settled into the worn chair, its creaks echoing through the room. He couldn’t shake the nagging doubt about the purpose of his work. With the clock ticking on his final months, he found himself consumed not with the search for his wife, but with the weight of constant accusations linking him to the organized crime ring.
Tao and San were the only ones in the empty office, and the air was thick with the unmistakable smell of burning incense. Nestled amidst a sea of flowers, a small statue of the goddess stood in the corner, its presence exuding a gentle, protective aura. San silently uttered a prayer in his thoughts as Tao made his way out of the office.
“Did you find anything about Khun Wad?”
Tao stopped at the door, shaking his head. “I was just about to go to the shrine and check it. I didn’t get the chance to do it today. Do you want to join me?”
Upon hearing that his bath was prepared, San promptly stood up. “I’ll take a quick bath and then meet you there,” he said. “You go ahead, I won’t be long.”
--
Before opening the door to the famous club, Vee paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart. He didn’t feel mere nerves; instead, an unsettling sense of impending doom washed over him, unfamiliar and intense.
The scene inside was a breathtaking display of beauty and vibrancy, just as he had been told. Standing by the door, he couldn’t help but be enthralled by the vibrant colors and lively atmosphere inside, while the sweet aroma of blooming flowers mixed with the subtle hint of alcohol filled the air.
The haunting melody of a beautiful Chinese opera filled the air, beckoning him further inside — the young wife’s lament always leaving him with a bittersweet ache. It was late enough in the evening that guests were already sitting on the balcony enjoying the performance being entertained by beautiful women, almost enchanting in the way they moved.
Deceptively, it felt like home.
A hand materialized out of thin air, its touch sending shivers down his spine as it slowly wrapped around his shoulder, a touch as light as a feather. A seductive voice whispered in his ear, “Tell me, what do you long for?”
“A job.”
In an instant, the person stepped out from behind him, their eyes filled with anger, before striding away with a huff. However, they soon returned, accompanied by a young boy who looked no older than twenty.
The boy’s eyes traveled up and down, studying every inch of him, as if searching for imperfections. “So, I hear you’re looking for a job,” he said casually.
“I’m new to the city,” Vee replied, “and this man I met at the docks suggested you might be willing to hire me.”
“Just straight to us? Why? What did you ask him?”
“Nothing really,” Vee shrugged, “he just said I looked like I belonged in this place, ready to start working.” His words were accompanied by a dismissive wave of his hand, showing he thought little of the comment. But the boy’s face, that had remained impassive until he heard his words, contorted with anger. Without hesitation, he tightly gripped Vee’s arm and pulled him up the stairs.
--
San and Tao’s gaze was locked onto the stone, their eyes widened in sheer disbelief. The shock lingered, refusing to fade, just like the radiant, rainbow-like glow of the stone. The longer they stared, the more they could feel an electric energy exuding from it, sending a tingling sensation down their spines.
The moment he could finally speak again, San blurted out, “Tao, what do we do now?”
His voice trembled a little, like a plea echoing through the air. Normally, he would have felt embarrassed, but not on that day, not when the stone radiated with an ethereal light, promising to guide him to the one he had lost.
“Just give me a few minutes,” Tao said.
The sound of rustling paper filled the room as he quickly retrieved some scrolls, a few of them older than San, and delved into his calculations. As the seconds ticked by, each one feeling like an eternity, San’s restlessness grew. He couldn’t help but pace back and forth in front of the young savant.
Annoyed, the boy chided him, “Khun San, sit down! Your pacing won’t speed things up.”
San stood frozen, while a slight smirk played on the young savant’s lips, leaving him with a nagging suspicion that he was the butt of a joke. How could he sit quietly when his beloved might be somewhere close to him and he doesn’t even know?
The boy glared at him again and San couldn’t help but be reminded of the fierce gaze his great grandfather had given him when they first met at the shrine. A rush of nostalgia washed over him, he sank into the chair and casually browsed through the stack of papers that demanded his attention, using it to pass the time.
Tao’s calculations seemed to stretch on endlessly, but finally, he finished and jumped up from the chair, a gleam of joy in his eyes. Looking directly at San, he wore a wide smile as he shouted, “You won’t believe what I’m about to tell you - Khun Wad is here!” The excitement in his voice was palpable.
“What?” Tao was right, San couldn’t believe a word he was saying. “Are you sure?”
With unwavering confidence, Tao stated, “I’ve gone over my calculations twice, and there’s no doubt in my mind. Your soulmate, connected to this stone, is no more than a hundred steps away.”
“Hundred steps,” San whispered under his breath. His heart raced in a frenzy, as if it couldn’t find its steady rhythm until Wad was safely in his arms again. In a hurry to leave the room and find her, he abruptly stood up from the chair, nearly tipping it over.
Just as he was about to walk out, Tao suddenly jumping in front of him, making him stop in his tracks. “As soon as we leave this room, make a left and begin counting precisely one hundred steps.”
“Towards the stairs? You think she’s coming up?”
Tao shrugged and stood by the door, shrugging, “it makes sense. Only the rich sit up here and, given her kindness and grace in her previous life, it only makes sense for her to enjoy a life even better than before.”
“Right, of course,” San took a deep breath before stepping out, “One.” He counted the first step and looked back at Tao. “A hundred steps, right?”
“Yes.”
The counting continued, “Two-“ San started, Tao quickly adding “-Three,” their voices fading into the background as the captivating performance downstairs took over.
“Ninety-nine.”
In that moment, they stopped, and San’s eyes quickly scanned the crowd, searching for Wad as they stood at the top of the flight of stairs. Yet, he couldn’t find anyone who possessed even a fraction of her unique presence.
“Khun San,” Tao said, “Just take a step when I tell you to.”
Standing there, San felt a surge of emotions overwhelming him, fear mingling with happiness, anxiety with excitement, like a tidal wave crashing in a chaotic symphony. Despite his turmoil, he had one certainty — not finding Wad would push him to the edge of insanity long before the stone claims his life in three months.
Tao kept his eyes on his shiny new wristwatch, the ticking growing louder even with all the commotion surrounding them, while San anxiously scanned the crowd for the face he had yearned to see for a hundred years.
“Khun San, now!”
Following Tao’s instruction, San held his breath, closed his eyes, and could hear nothing but the sound of his own racing heartbeat as he took that last step.
Before he could even open his eyes, he felt the weight of another person falling into his arms, and together, they tumbled down the stairs in a tangled mess of limbs and confusion. Acting on pure instinct, San held the man in a tight embrace, shielding his head as they rolled down.
Before they could fall to the bottom of the stairs, some of his employees ran up to them, their voices shouting in urgency as they stopped them midway. The staircase reverberated with the sound of hurried footsteps as they gripped onto the pillar in the middle of the railing.
With the chorus of voices calling out for San, he gradually opened his eyes and attempted to sit upright, feeling the boy’s grip around his neck, tightening with each shaky breath he took.
San gently patted the kid’s back, trying to coax him to step back, and asked, “Are you alright?”
As the boy reluctantly released his grip on San, people around them rushed to their aid, offering a helping hand to get them back on their feet.
With a smile, San leaned in and asked, “Are you sure you’re alright?” The tension in the boy’s shoulders melted away, and he visibly relaxed under his gaze. “You should head to the infirmary downstairs. The doctor will give you a check-up to make sure you’re not badly hurt.”
“I think you took most of the hits from our fall, Khun,” the boy said with a smile that could brighten up the entire world. “I should be the one taking you to the doctor.”
San comforted him by gently patting his shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’s just a few bruises. I’ve dealt with worse.”
Right before San could ask an employee to help the young man, Tao promptly made his way down the stairs and softly murmured in his ear, “Khun San, you’ve found Khun Wad,” his voice brimming with excitement.
San’s attention shifted immediately, his eyes quickly scanning the crowd of familiar faces, hoping to find his beloved, only to be met with disappointment. Just as he was about to scold Tao, his voice trailed off as he noticed Tao’s unwavering stare directed at the boy San had helped.
--
San closed his door and sank into his chair, channeling all his energy into taming the anger raging within him. The weight of a century’s worth of longing for his wife cannot end with such crushing disappointment. Tao had to be wrong.
He rose from his chair, the sound of the creaking wood filled the room accompanying his footsteps, as he walked towards the door. The guard standing by the door was quick to run off when San asked him to find Tao and Teerayut and bring them without delay.
Within seconds, Tao showed up as if he had been waiting for San to call him in. San didn’t even have time to speak as Tao walked into the room and sat down on the chair. “I recalculated,” he announced, “and I know I’m right.”
Just as he opened his mouth to argue back, Tao quickly added, “but, the crowd might have affected my initial assessment. The boy’s birth chart will help me give a definite confirmation.”
“Where’s Teerayut?” San asked the guard once more. “Is he still accompanying the kid?”
“He hates being called Teerayut. Just say Tag, Khun San,” Tao chimed in.
San grumbled, “I won’t call him with the nickname he suddenly proposed. This is precisely what happens when kids distance themselves from our traditions.”
San had expected Tag to come in alone, but to his surprise, the boy was right behind him, looking like a sad puppy as he walked in a straight line.
San realized he had been staring for too long when the boy suddenly looked up and locked eyes with him. The mournful look in his eyes vanished in an instant, replaced by a playful raise of his eyebrow that was accentuated with an alluring hint of his tongue peeking through his slightly open mouth.
His eyes quickly shifted away from the boy and locked onto Tao, hoping that the savant would intervene and save him.
He didn’t. “What’s your name?” He asked instead.
“Vee,” the boy said, his eyes lingering on San, as if they held an unspoken challenge, before turning to Tao and greeting him with a coy smile, “pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
At that moment, San was convinced beyond doubt that Tao’s calculation was utterly incorrect. Unlike his Wad, who was always reserved, the boy in front of him was shamelessly coquettish.
“Khun San, Vee is here with the intention of finding a job.” Tag, as usual, was completely formal with San. The fear he felt towards San never wavered, not even after working for him for many years.
“He won’t find any work here,” San snapped, his words laced with impatience as he wanted to break free from the boy’s persistent stare. “Get his background details and birth chart and send him to market. He’ll find something there.”
San was ready to dismiss everyone when, out of nowhere, the boy spoke up. “Phi, I saw the performance downstairs. I’m actually trained in Peking opera. Can’t I join in?” He fluttered his eyelashes at San, his words laced with a tone that made San feel increasingly uneasy as he added, “I don’t mind entertaining guests either.”
San shot up from his chair, the sharp scraping noise echoing through the room as it slid across the floor. His harsh gaze locked onto the boy, as he asked, “What kind of establishment do you think this is?”
“Well,” Vee moved closer to the desk, his movements fluid and graceful, as if he was dancing around San’s anger. He clearly had no regard for the usual caution people took around San. “It’s painfully obvious, isn’t it? I saw beautiful young women with forced smiles, dutifully pouring wine for rich men who never learned to keep their hands to themselves. Intriguingly, a few of these women would then vanish into rooms with them.”
“You’re quick to catch on, aren’t you?” San rolled his eyes. Unless you were already privy to the secrets behind closed doors, guests would easily mistake it for a first-class opera house, complete with impeccable service, at least until they scrutinize it closely.
Taking a seat on the desk, Vee’s face lit up with a wide smile as he pushed aside the papers on it, a few fluttering onto the floor. The audacious behavior of the young man ignited a fire within San, causing his blood to boil with fury, and Vee’s words only fueled it.
“You may think it’s a secret, but trust me, people love to talk. Plus, I can see what’s going on out there.”
San was done talking to the boy and shifted his glare from him to Tao and Tag. “Why are you skulking back there? Escort him away at once.”
“Khun San,” Vee immediately jumped down from the desk and bowed deeply in apology, “I didn’t mean to anger you. Please forgive me and let me stay. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
San’s breath got caught in throat as he saw the boy look just as small as he did earlier. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the tight grip of Vee’s hand, and the warmth of his body clinging to him desperately.
Perhaps taking pity on San, Tao finally intervened. “Khun San, why don’t I take Vee to Madam Phikun? She can decide if he’s capable of joining the troupe.”
“Alright, if not, he can work for Lao Chen out on the docks,” he suggested. “With his son in the army, he could use an extra pair of hands.”
“Khun, I could still work here.”
San let out a sigh, feeling an inexplicable exhaustion wash over him. “Our customers are mostly men. There’s no point in having you around if you aren’t good enough for the troupe.”
“I don’t mind servicing men.”
San was seconds away from shouting at the boy for his outrageous proposition when Tag quickly spoke up. “I’ll take him, Khun,” he said and dragged Vee out of the room, leaving Tao and San all alone.
San let out a small, self-deprecating laugh as he said, “You really think he is my Wad,” making Tao flinch at the bitter undertone in his voice.
--
Vee’s involvement in the troupe was limited, only taking on a minor part.
Getting wind about San’s doubts regarding the boy, Madam Phikun had sat him down on the same night, insisting that with a little more training, Vee could easily handle demanding roles. Apparently, she was already eyeing him to play as a guimen dan for their next tour.
But, despite her insistence, Vee had adamantly declined, debating with her until he secured a minor role that would allow him to remain behind while the troupe traveled for performances. She had to ultimately turn to San for help who was perplexed by Vee’s firm opposition to the idea of going on a tour.
Nevertheless, ignoring Madam Phikun’s insistence that his words could sway Vee, San purposefully avoided any form of communication with him, going out of his way to steer clear of the young man’s presence.
That is, until a week after Vee showed up.
San was going out to meet with a man who was far too adamant about wanting to buy his fishing boats, when he heard a loud commotion coming from the balcony.
It wasn’t exactly unusual for the patrons to lose themselves in the games as the night grew darker on certain days, abandoning all pretenses of high society and succumbing to a wild scene of drunken gambling and unintelligible shouts.
What was unusual was the shouts and hollering of Vee’s name that filled the air as they all gathered around a table. The sight of an expensive shirt casually draped on the balcony railing immediately gave away the rules of the game they were playing. Undress each time you lose.
Whenever those particular men got together, they reveled in the thrill of gambling, putting at stake not just money but also everything they had on them. The sight of his employees disrobing before the watchful eyes of the men had always made him uneasy, even though he knew that was the essence of the establishment, the allure that drew these men in.
All he could do was make sure it remained consensual and clean for the women who worked there. So, San always made it a point to send in girls who were well-versed in their chosen game of the night, their soft voices floating through the room, guiding the players to their losses. Or he would rig it.
San had not given permission for the game to take place, and no one had approached him with the request. Standing there, he could hear the men’s shouts urging their friend to victory.
The young girl, who had harbored a deep dislike for Vee since day one, came to stand beside San and grumbled in Chinese and a bit of broken Thai, “He’s too much, Young Master! It’s truly vulgar how he is trying to lure all those men. Didn’t you tell us to treat ourselves with respect? What’s that boy trying to do here?”
“Don’t you have work to do?” San scolded her, his voice filled with irritation as he glared at her until she disappeared behind the curtains, perhaps to running complain to one of the old ladies working in the kitchen.
San stood by the stairs, contemplating if breaking his oath of avoiding Vee was worth it, when he suddenly the sound of Vee’s infectious laughter and the rhythmic clattering of dice hitting the table, followed by a man shouting, “looks like I won.”
The moment those words reached his ears, his face burned with anger, propelling him up the stairs, his rage intensifying with each step.
“Vee!” San’s shout pierced the air as he reached the corner where they were playing.
As soon as they saw the anger in San’s eyes, the men quickly moved apart, knowing better than to provoke the owner of the establishment. The guards, alerted by his anger, swiftly intervened and directed the men to go find their entertainment elsewhere in the house.
Vee, on the other hand, seemed completely unconcerned as he smiled up at San, his fingers poised over his shirt, teasingly ready to strip it off.
“What do you think you are doing?” He asked, his frown deepening as he firmly gripped Vee’s wrist, forcefully pulling him into his office and locking the door behind them.
“Khun San, I didn’t mean to step out of line,” he said. “They were arguing with Mei about playing and she seemed uncomfortable, so I volunteered.”
“You should’ve consulted me or one of the guards,” he snapped, his anger growing with each word. “It’s not your decision to make.”
“I didn’t expect it to be such a big deal. It’s just a game.”
San’s voice boomed with anger as he shouted. “You can’t even bother to do your actual work, but this is more entertaining for you? Do you like laying around with men that much?”
Vee’s piercing glare met San’s, devoid of any hint of his usual teasing smile or the sadness in his eyes, replaced instead by a seething anger that mirrored San’s own. He stalked closer to San, eyes narrowed as he spat out, “it’s not your place to judge me or define who I am.”
The intensity of their glares made the atmosphere feel suffocating, as if the air itself was heavy with tension. Still, San couldn’t look away from Vee’s eyes, which held a hint of tears even in his anger.
San couldn’t understand where this overwhelming anger was bubbling up from. Just that as he looked at Vee, all he could think about was the men leering at him and something akin to jealousy made his skin crawl till all that came out was anger.
The moment it became clear to San, he rushed out of the office, letting the door slam shut behind him. As he was leaving, he ran into Tag and asked him to take care of Vee, explaining just the situation with the men upstairs. He refrained from sharing his outburst about Vee, aware that he shouldn’t have scolded the young man. The last thing he wanted was for Tag to believe he was turning into the type of men he swore he wouldn’t be when the boy began working there.
--
Vee stood right where he was, glaring at the closed door until it felt as if the door was starting to get hazy. A single tear escaped his eyes and traced a path down his quivering lips, quickly followed by another, until he found himself unable to stop the flood of tears.
In a fit of anger, he tightly clenched his fist and wiped away the tears, cursing himself for giving the obnoxious man power over his emotions. He was supposed to get under San’s skin, not the other way around.
Vee made his way towards the open window, that looked out to the lush green backyard. As he looked up at the bright full moon in the sky, he knew San would not be making his way back that night, which gave him a bit of relief. He didn’t want to see San.
Exhausted, Vee sighed and sat down on the windowsill, letting the balmy summer wind caresses his face and cool the tear marks on his cheeks.
It was long before he heard Tag’s quiet voice reluctantly call out, “Vee,” just before a head poked through the door. “You’re here, thank god!”
“I’m here.”
Tag, looking visibly pale and breathless, stood by the door. “Khun San asked me to take care of you,” he said, “but he failed to mention where you were. I was afraid something had happened.”
“Nothing happened,” Vee sighed, his weariness seeping into his words. He leaned back, and Tag mirrored his lack of enthusiasm, not bothering with a forced smile. “Just me angering Khun San once more,” Vee confessed.
“I don’t think so,” Tag frowned, “something like this always happens to new employees. Khun San never gets angry. Well, not to us. But he’s not so friendly towards the men. You know, they’ll most likely get banned.”
“He never gets angry?” That caught Vee’s attention. He had never seen San that angry before.
“Oh never,” Tag shook his head and came to sit down beside Vee.
“Are you sure?”
“I was rescued by Khun San’s friend and he let me work here as a manager and nothing else.” He paused for a while, letting the wind whisper between them before finally taking deep breath and adding, “my second night working, a man came up to me stating that he was given permission to spent the night with me and back then I believed it, I hated Khun San for lying to me but I believed it and went with him.”
Vee’s heart ached as he watched Tag shrinking into himself, the weight of memories visibly overwhelming him. Trying to lend him some comfort, he gently placed his hand on his trembling shoulder.
“Thankfully,” Tag said with a wistful smile on his face, his eyes filled with admiration and perhaps a hint of love, “someone saw what happened and notified Khun San, who promptly came to my aid. He calmly explained that I had the freedom to decline anything that made me uncomfortable, even if he gave the order.”
Instead of responding, Vee expressed his gratitude to Tag through a warm smile and a sincere thank you, assuring him that he was okay. Before long, Tag was whisked away by Ran, who was lamenting about a man who, far too drunk, vomited on her bed.
Vee sat back in San’s office, comparing Tag’s version of San with the man he had seen instead. As if carried away by the wind, all his tears and fears disappeared, leaving behind a beaming smile of pure joy on his face.
“So, you were jealous?” he asked, staring at the vacant chair before him. “Khun San, I anticipated a challenge from you, but it seems you’re making it far too easy for me.” He pretended not to notice the way his heart raced at the revelation.
--
San had locked himself in his room, feeling the rough texture of the leather belt in his mouth as he bit down, desperate to muffle his screams of agony, when an insistent knocking echoed through the room. Using every ounce of his strength, he forced himself to rise, his body coated in sweat and every breath sending waves of unbearable pain.
Frustrated by the unyielding knocks, San wearily moved towards the door, using the wall as a crutch. With a voice that was barely a whisper, he asked, “What’s the matter?”
“Khun San, I heard you scream. What happened? Are you okay? Do I need to call a doctor?”
Despite Vee’s persistent knocking, San refused to respond, his voice eventually coming out in a hoarse whisper, “please, I’m begging you, just go away.”
His voice fought to break through the loud music, remarkably talented musicians hiding away the sounds from behind the locked rooms, including San’s own muffled screams.
“Khun San, please let me in.”
With one final knock from Vee, San’s sigh filled the air as he finally gave in and unlocked his door.
Wasting no time, the boy quickly entered the room and locked the door before settling down far too close to San on the cold floor. If San had been in any other state, he would have scolded Vee for not showing him respect. Yet, in that moment, the boy’s warmth against his side became a comforting shield from the pain, making him shut his eyes and take deep, calming breaths instead.
“You know,” Vee spoke up, his voice filled with concern, “they all talk about you.” As San’s pain gradually subsided, he slumped back against the door.
“Really?” San’s voice was barely audible amidst his heavy, labored breathing. “What do they say?”
“That you are waiting for someone and till they come, you can’t be killed.”
Amusement flickered in San’s eyes, even as he was consumed by agony, at the thought of his employees gossiping about his potential death. Vee moved even closer to San, letting their fingers lace together. San couldn’t tear his eyes away from the hands that fit together perfectly, like a puzzle piece, when he felt something, or rather, the lack of something.
Despite the lingering heat coursing through his veins, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from his arms. He watched in amazement as the cuts and bruises slowly disappeared before his eyes.
Vee seemed to have noticed that too as he smiled and hugged his knees, avoiding San’s stares, as he added, “Khun Tao talked to me. He didn’t say much, just that I could help you with your pain, so I should convince you to be my friend, at least.”
With great effort, San managed to lift himself off the ground, his weakened body protesting every movement. “It’s not you,” he glared at Vee. “You’re not the person I’ve been waiting for, so there’s no need to pretend to be my friend.”
With a smile that seemed annoyingly fond, Vee turned towards him, “You did save my life, you know. Can’t we be friends, regardless?” He then stood up and offered a helping hand to San. San brushed off Vee’s hand, determined to stand up on his own. But his struggle was clear, causing Vee to roll his eyes before ultimately helping San to his chair.
Even though San was still catching his breath, he couldn’t help but notice that it wasn’t yet morning, but his pain was all but a dull ache. With a furrowed brow, he watched as Vee carefully poured a glass of water for him to drink.
“Aren’t you going to ask what is wrong with me?” San rasped out, taking a sip of the cool water that felt like absolution after the burning hot pain.
“Will you tell me?”
“No.”
Vee settled into a chair with a laugh, crossing his legs and simply looking at San as he drank water.
“What are you doing here, Vee?”
Vee tore his eyes away from San and glanced out of the open window, mesmerized by the breathtaking view of the night sky adorned with countless sparkling stars and a delicate crescent moon.
“The night sky is absolutely stunning,” Vee exclaimed, a tinge of longing in his voice. “I haven’t had the chance to enjoy its beauty in ages,” he went to the windowsill and sat down.
San couldn’t tear his eyes away from Vee, enthralled by the way the cool night breeze from the nearby river gently ruffled Vee’s hair and clothes. The sight of him in a satin red robe, half dressed and still disheveled, gave the impression that he had rushed out in a hurry.
Vee was going to be playing the sister of the princess, a character who exuded elegance with every step and brought the stage to life with her energy. San could already picture him in the striking costume, envisioning the vibrant colors and intricate details.
“Have you finished watching me, old man?”
With a scoff, San pointed out, “You address everyone else with significantly more respect than you do me. Did you forget I carry the authority to have you expelled from this establishment?”
“Can’t we do away with formalities between us?”
San didn’t bother arguing, feeling the familiar heat coursing through his veins and his heart pounding in his chest. With each surge of pain, he tightly gripped his chest, letting out groans as he tried to fend off the mounting discomfort.
With a start, Vee sprinted towards him, the sound of his rapid footsteps resonating throughout the room, nearly matching the intensity of San’s anguished screams. Vee knelt by the side of his chair, firmly clasping onto San’s hand.
His voice was filled with worry as he called out, “Khun San, come and lie down.”
San let the boy guide him towards his room inside the office. The lonely bed and desk were usually the only witnesses to his nightly ritual of screaming and falling into exhausted, painful sleep. Even after letting San lie down, Vee sat by the bedside, determined to add another witness to his pain.
The touch of Vee’s cool hands, chilled by the wind, brought a momentary relief to his feverish body, burning up with century old pain. With a shaky exhale, San felt the pain recede, gradually dissipating.
Acting on instinct, he pulled Vee closer, nestling his face against Vee’s stomach and savoring the sweet fragrance of the young man.
Vee kept patting San’s back as the man drifted off into a fitful sleep. He gently wiped the glistening sweat from his forehead and, as the man’s face finally smoothed out, Vee’s stare turned into curiosity. It was as if the pain vanished, and with it, the nightmare that had been haunting him. He really didn’t think he had that much power over the strange, lonely man.
Vee gently lifted San’s head from his lap and made his way towards the open window in his office. As he gazed at the brilliant night sky, he closed his eyes, immersing himself in a silent conversation with the mother goddess.
Vee asked again, “do I really have to-?”
Inside the office, there was an unsettling lack of sound, even with the music just beyond its walls. As the wind brushed against his skin, Vee could almost hear it whispering in his ears.
“I’m not!” he stated. “I’ll find the stone soon.”
--
Vee’s unexpected, late-night visits to San’s office had become a routine, always arriving a little before midnight, having already coordinated with Madam Phikun to offer support for his pain. With each passing day, San’s pain felt lesser and lesser than the one before. Tao was certain it was because Vee was indeed Wad, but San knew that couldn’t be true.
San had countered Tao’s claim that his discomfort with being with a man was clouding his judgment by arguing, “Vee being a man is one thing. It’s just, he doesn’t even feel like Wad, he’s far more...,” San hadn’t known the word to use.
Still, he never stopped Vee from coming over; his presence made the pain and perhaps his life far more bearable.
--
When San’s senses stirred awake, he couldn’t help but notice the stillness of the world, as if it was still too early for anyone or anything to be awake. Not even the familiar crow of the rooster disturbed the silence. The sun, still not fully risen, painted a soft glow on the horizon.
He remained on the bed, staring at the ceiling. His senses were on high alert, straining to catch whatever woke him up. Yet there was nothing but complete silence, broken only by the soft chirping of birds outside the window, gradually coming to life.
It took him much longer than he would have liked to identify the cause of his abrupt awakening — the sudden, loud crash of a vase shattering. The realization only hit him when he heard the unmistakable sound of shattered ceramics crunching under the intruder’s footsteps, just outside his door.
As if a switch had been flipped, San was immediately on his feet, moving across the wooden floor with a calculated stealth, each step deliberate. All his focus was on reaching the door, his senses attuned to any sound that might give away his presence.
Inhaling deeply, he steadied himself and silently counted to three before shoving open the door and pining down the person lurking in his office.
With San pinning him to the ground, the young Englishman’s voice shook as he kept repeating, “It’s me, it’s me,” his hand pounding the floorboard in a desperate attempt to get free.
San’s scowl deepened, but he eventually relented and allowed him to stand, just as Vee and Tao burst into the office from opposite directions, their hurried footsteps blending into a dissonant noise. Through the open door, San could see his employees and the tired-looking guests from the previous night shuffling out of their rooms, clearly still recovering.
With a piercing glare, San sank into the couch, feeling the weariness seep into his bones. He just wanted one good night’s sleep, just once before he died. “What brings you here at this ungodly hour?” he asked, his annoyance practically radiating off of him.
“I had something important to discuss,” he said as he flashed a smile and purposely moved to a chair, putting some distance between himself and San. Gingerly rubbing his wrist, he winced at the already forming bruise from San’s firm grip.
“Why were you lurking around like a thief?”
“I-” James sighed, his voice trailing off, “alright, since you were asleep, I thought I’d snoop around. But there is something of great importance that I need to share. I had planned to come over around midnight, but with your illness, I thought it best to wait until morning.”
San nodded in agreement, his senses immediately pleased by the inviting smell of brewing tea, courtesy of Vee.
“Word came in about a raid scheduled for today in all your establishments. Time is running out, so make sure you’re ready before sunrise.”
“How legal is this raid going to be?”
As Vee handed him the cup of tea, San could feel the warmth of the ceramic against his palms, while the steam rose and filled the air with a comforting aroma, momentarily easing his stress about the governor’s deceitful tactics.
“They want everything shut down today,” James relayed. San narrowed his eyes as he noticed the lingering touch of the man’s fingers on Vee’s hand when he took the tea. “And there’s talk of a particular stone as well,” he added, his tone growing more serious.
James, notorious for his lack of respect, wasted no time in zeroing in on Vee, devoting all of his attention to him. “Hello, I’m James,” he said with a warm smile, carefully placing the teacup on the table before reaching out to shake his hand. “You must be new here,” he added, his eyes mapping Vee’s face.
Vee flashed him a brief smile and introduced himself, “I’m Vee, let’s skip the flirting. I’m on a mission to win that man’s heart.”
The room fell silent as Vee’s finger singled out San, who coughed violently, choking on the hot tea, the unexpected gesture catching him off guard. Tao’s face lit up with sheer delight as Vee made his declaration, seeming to be the only one in the room who shared his excitement.
“Well, isn’t that going to be difficult?” James had a tendency to push forward, even in situations where it would have been wiser to step back.
San having finally reached his limit, rose from the couch, with James hesitantly doing the same. Gesturing to Tao, he instructed, “Escort Khun James to the door and get the boys to make sure all the patrons leave before sunrise. Wake Madam Phikun and notify her to begin her rehearsals early and continue until evening. Also, contact Lao Tong and inform him about the raid; he’ll take charge of the market and the docks.”
“What about the shrine?”
“They wouldn’t dare to step in.”
Tao and James both exited the room, with Tao taking the lead and James following closely behind. Just as Vee was about to follow them, San abruptly held up his hand, causing Vee to freeze in place. The room fell into silence once more as Vee lingered by the door, purposefully averting their eyes from San, who remained quiet on the couch.
“Come in and lock the door,” San instructed. “I don’t have a minute to spare.”
As Vee locked the door and made his way to the windowsill, San’s ears caught the faint creaking of the wooden floor beneath his feet, breaking the silence of the room. Unnoticed by everyone except San, the broken vase remained abandoned in the corner.
“Want to explain what that was all about?”
Vee’s eyes remained locked on the dimly lit sky, his shoulders rhythmically rising and falling as he took in deep breaths of the crisp morning air. His words lingered in the air as he confessed, “You might not feel the same, but I like you,” leaving an uncertain tension between them.
San exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into the comfortable rattan couch. “Vee,” he whispered, the ache in his voice revealing the depth of his longing whenever he mentioned Wad, “There is already someone who holds a special place in my heart. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t love you back.”
“Who is it?”
“My wife.” San braced himself for a look of shock on his face as Vee glanced in his direction. Instead, he found it impossible to figure out any trace of emotion in his unreadable expression.
Vee approached San and settled down next to him, locking eyes with him. In a hushed whisper, he leaned in closer and asked, “Khun San, will you share your story with me?”
San gave Vee a promise, his voice filled with determination. “If we make it through the day without any of us getting handcuffed, I’ll take you somewhere special,” he said. Vee nodded in agreement and San remained quiet as he watched him leave the office. “Consider it a test,” he whispered, his words felt too loud in the empty room, “to prove Tao or me right about you.”
--
The raids persisted well past dinnertime, and the huge battalion of police officers grew increasingly disappointed as they left empty-handed. They were probably promised something upon returning with ammunition against San.
The raid was anything but smooth. San’s restraint was especially tested when he witnessed two policemen forcefully attempting to enter the shrine. Fortunately, they hesitated when they sensed the growing skepticism of the people gathered there for prayers. The stone remained safe, tucked away in a hidden chamber within the inner sanctum.
“Just because he’s jealous you get more profit than him,” Tao rolled his eyes, as he stayed late into the night helping San tidy up his cluttered office.
“It’s more the anger at me refusing to sell.”
“Khun San,” Tao asked, holding the loose papers in his hands, “what will become of all this once you’re no longer here?”
San let out a quick laugh as he took the papers from Tao’s hand and stashed it back into the files. “The person who is supposed to help me live is asking about my death?” As Tao stumbled over his words, San shook his head in amusement and comforted him, assuring him, “everything’s taken care of. It’ll all continue running smoothly even after I’m gone.”
“Khun San,” he said, his voice laced with frustration, “I don’t mean to offend, but there’s not much time left for you. How much more proof do you need to confirm that Vee is Wad?”
San sighed wearily, tired of going in circles. “He isn’t Wad, Tao,” he replied. “I just can’t understand his true intentions.”
“Why do you stubbornly refuse to believe the truth?”
“Because,” San exclaimed, pacing around the office, “he has a way of making me calm, unlike anyone else. It’s like Wad’s presence just fades into the background whenever he’s around. It’s unnatural.”
Tao’s frown deepened upon hearing him speak. After his outburst, San stood still, his chest heaving as he took deep breaths to calm himself. Tao observed him closely, noticing the slight tremble in his hands.
“Just give me this one night,” San stated, “and I’ll get my answer.”
Tao’s expression was one of sadness rather than anger as he exited his office, and San immediately grew wary when Vee entered the room right after Tao left.
“How much did you hear?”
Without uttering a single word, Vee shut the office door, the echoing sound of the latch filling the quiet air. Each step he took towards San was deliberate and graceful, as if he was moving to a silent rhythm only he could hear.
San’s eyes widened in surprise as Vee approached him, casually leaning on the desk next to him. “Vee, what are you doing?” San asked, his eyes narrowing.
San’s heart raced as Vee’s warm breath tickled his ear with words barely audible as he whispered, “Is this really unnatural, or am I?”
“Vee,” Vee’s name came out of San’s mouth with a slight stutter, like a call for the divine.
“Weren’t you planning on taking me somewhere?”
It took San a moment longer than expected to regain his senses, but once he did, he quickly pushed Vee away and rose to his feet. He called for Vee to follow him, but he clung to San, pressing his body against his, gripping his arm with a firm hold.
“Are you going to continue holding onto me until we get to where we’re going?”
Vee’s voice sounded timid as he replied, “The raid scared me, Khun San,” prompting San to allow him to cling onto his arms for reassurance, even though San knew he was lying.
--
Vee’s surprise grew as San abruptly halted in front of a towering gate. The gate swung open, emitting a high-pitched creak that shattered the quiet of the late night. San held Vee’s hand in his as they walked in, their footsteps echoing on the perfectly paved path leading to the grand house. The alluring fragrance of frangipani flowers hung in the heavy night air, their petals creating a beautiful carpet across the expansive front yard.
“Is this your house?” Vee asked San, his wide eyes darting around, eagerly absorbing every detail.
“Technically yes,” San sighed as he noticed a few employees stealing glances in his direction. “I try not to spend too much time here.”
“Why not?”
“You wanted to know about my life,” San said, “so let me show you something first.”
San pressed on, quickening his pace, paying no attention to the greetings and curious stares of the house’s residents, both employees and his beloved family. Their footsteps echoed through the house as they walked up the stairs and locked the bedroom door behind them.
“Is this your room?” Vee asked, sinking into the plush four-poster bed, listening to the gentle creak of the wooden frame as he settled in. The red satin drapes gracefully swayed in the gentle breeze that wafted in through the open windows.
“Not just mine.”
San gingerly joined Vee on the bed, and the sound of the creaking mattress seemed to intensify the hushed calmness of the night. There was enough space between them to seem respectable if someone looked in from outside. Yet, hidden from view, was a palpable tension between them. Vee’s coy gaze, framed by long, fluttering eyelashes, locked with San’s, their eyes engaged in a silent, intense dance.
San blinked a few times, as if waking up from a daze, and hastily got out of bed. Slowly, he approached the corner of the room where a weathered portrait hung. The woman in the painting had a timeless beauty, her serene smile capturing Vee’s attention. He immediately recognized the face, but he stayed silent, allowing San to speak first, curious to hear what he was going to say.
A wistful smile played on his lips as he pointed towards the woman on the portrait. He whispered softly, “She is my wife.”
“The portrait looks quite aged, don’t you think?”
“She was once my wife,” San corrected himself, his words trailing off as he moved towards the open window.
Watching him stand there, Vee couldn’t help but be reminded of the first time he had a conversation with San without the weight of the man’s anger. The memory of Vee standing by the window watching San in pain, his body glistening with sweat and dried blood, was permanently etched into his mind.
“She made me into the person I am today,” San laughed bitterly. “Too bad it came at the cost of her life.”
“I’m sorry, Khun San,” Vee whispered, his voice barely audible. He knew the story, of course he did, but it was only when he saw the anguish in San’s eyes as he spoke about her that he truly grasped the depth of his pain.
Vee had listened intently when Ton narrated his findings about the man before he embarked on his mission, but as San echoed the same story, a sharp ache resonated in Vee’s heart.
“I believed my life was about to end, just as Chan’s had,” San recalled, “but then, as I was hiding, I heard her voice, filled with determination and fearlessness, fiercely arguing with the officers; in that moment, it felt as though I had been granted a divine intervention.”
‘She hid him from the men and he fell for her without even seeing her face. I’ll never understand humans,’ was what Ton had said about their first meeting, making them both laugh. But now, Vee could hardly contain the sharp pain in his chest.
As San recounted their romance, the intensity of his love for Wad permeated every syllable, overshadowing any devotion he had for the goddess. It was no wonder the goddess was furious with him.
“She died doing what she did when we first met - keeping me safe. I never had the chance to return the favor.” San’s tears were falling now, like shimmering pearls reflecting the moonlight, as he mourned her death.
Leaving the bed behind, Vee approached the man and enveloped him in a tight hug, much to San’s dismay, who initially tried to pry Vee away, but quickly relented and returned the embrace with equal force.
“The gossip you heard around isn’t wrong. I just want to love her the way she deserves,” he whispered into Vee’s neck. “To make her happy, like she should be happy. So, I’ve been waiting,” he added, his voice filled with longing. “Tao thinks you are Wad. Are you?”
Vee could’ve easily lied. Just a week or two ago, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But, as he felt the man’s grip on his shirt tighten, and his tears fell down his face, leaving damp marks on the fabric, he really couldn’t bring himself to deceive San anymore than he already had.
“I don’t think so,” Vee replied. He could feel a strange melancholy taking over his thoughts, as he knew exactly how this story ended, how San ended, by his hands. “I only hope that you can finally move on.”
“I can’t.” San’s voice quivered as he pressed his lips against Vee’s neck, his words carrying a weight of obligation or perhaps blind loyalty. “I tied myself to her. I can’t leave until I find her again.”
Despite not wanting to hear anymore, Vee had to ask, “How?”
“The stone that saved me also granted me a hundred years to reunite with Wad, but I only have less than three months remaining.”
Vee knew what would happen then. He had witnessed someone being reduced to dust, their anguished cries echoing through the air as they paid the price for defying the goddess’s laws. Once again, he was back in the mortal realm to witness to yet another person going through the same harrowing torment.
The weight of knowing that San had to endure such a thing was unbearable for him.
Vee clung tightly to the man, feeling the warmth of his body against his own, their bodies molded together as if they were one. “How can I help?”
“You can’t,” San laughed, the sad sound echoing through the room. “Wad is not here, but Tao is convinced it is you.”
Vee wouldn’t be able to help San. Maybe, if he got the stone, he could plead with the goddess to grant San a peaceful mortal death, free from agony and spiritual torment.
“Where is this stone?”
“It’s safe. You don’t need to know about it.”
Vee fought the urge to raise his voice at him, his desperation almost overpowering his sane thoughts. Instead, he clenched his jaw and held onto him tightly, hating the tension in the air as San composed himself and created some space between them.
“There’s an empty room right opposite,” San said, opening the bedroom door for Vee, effectively kicking him out and leaving him to his own devices.
Just as quickly as he was pushed out, Vee burst back into the room, words tumbling out in a hurry, “No offense, Khun, but it’s almost midnight and if I’m not here, you’ll be in pain again.”
San’s eyes remained fixed on him, unblinking, as if time had come to a standstill. After a long pause, he finally found the strength to speak, his voice betraying his sadness and uncertainty. “This room was supposed to be my sanctuary with my wife. But she never made it upstairs after our wedding. You want me to share it with you?”
“You can come with me to the other room instead.”
San’s voice filled the room as he commanded, “No, get out immediately!”
San wasn’t sure why he suddenly couldn’t bear to look at Vee anymore without being hit by a heavy burden of guilt that settled on his chest. He couldn’t help but wince as Vee ran out of the room, slamming the door shut.
He sank into the chair beside Wad’s portrait, his mind straining to remember her gentle voice and the contours of her face that were slowly fading from his memory. “Should I let you go?” He asked the faded portrait, “should I let it all go?”
San leaned back in the chair, staring at the wooden ceiling above him as if it might hold some answers he hadn’t found in the last hundred years.
No sooner had he moved than the familiar agony surged through his body, overwhelming him. It started as a searing heat coursing through his veins, causing his heart to race and pound unnaturally loud in his ears, bringing down a weight on his chest that never let up, making it harder and harder to breathe. In a cruel sequence, the wounds that had once healed started to tear apart, one by one, bit by bit, saturating his shirt with a disturbingly dark red blood as the heavy smell of iron filled the air surrounding him.
San couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see. Darkness seemed to wrap around his eyes. Yet, he could feel. Every ache and discomfort settled into his hundred-year-old body. One by one, every single pain burst in. He was certain that his screams were as loud as ever. But they were drowned out by the thunderous beating of his own heart.
The cold touch of a pair of hands felt like a divine intervention. He clung tightly to the body, drawing himself nearer and cherishing the coolness that radiated from them. He knew he was crying again.
“Why are you-“ he groaned, his voice strained and hoarse, each word punctuated with labored breaths. Vee gently hushed him and wiped away the beads of sweat on his forehead as his other hand moved in soothing circles on San’s shoulders.
Vee’s hushed voice reached San’s ears, calming him as he promised, “Just close your eyes and try to sleep. I’ll be here to take care of you.”
--
It was far too dark for him to see anything, still San ran, and he ran, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. The more he ran, the more it felt like his legs were growing heavier and weaker, as if they were about to give out at any moment. Yet, he couldn’t stop running. He couldn’t stop running, until the haunting whisper of laughter reached his ears, a sound that brought back memories of sleepless nights and the lingering scent of Wad’s blood.
The sound of her melodic laughter enveloped him, growing louder and more enchanting with each passing moment, urging him to run faster, his legs carrying him forward without a second thought.
When their eyes locked, a radiant smile blossomed on Wad’s face, only to vanish in an instant as he dashed past her, leaving her crestfallen.
Breathless and exhausted, he somehow made it to the shrine. The imposing statue of the goddess seemed to mock him, its cold eyes fixed on him with a look of scorn.
San’s mouth opened, intending to offer an apology, but all that escaped was a piercing scream. The overpowering smell of blood filled his nostrils, and as he glanced downward, he saw Vee lying motionless in a pool of his own blood, his vacant eyes staring back at him.
With a sudden scream, San’s eyes flew open, his body drenched in sweat. He quickly glanced around the room and found Vee peacefully sleeping, curled in the corner of the bed. A wave of relief washed over him. He leaned back onto the headboard as the rush of adrenaline still coursed through him, making his heart race.
Every single night, before dinner, San now took Vee back to his house, altering their routine once more. In the spare room, they sat close together, whispering in hushed tones and exchanging soft smiles before finally falling asleep at opposite ends of the bed.
Finding a comfortable position was a struggle every night, but San endured the discomfort, determined to stay close to Vee and ward off the searing pain.
Vee’s eyes fluttered open, woken up by either the piercing sound of San’s scream or the movement of the bed. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, he squinted at San, his eyes still adjusting to the light.
“Khun San, are you alright?”
“Just a nightmare.” Vee pouted at him until San relented and added, “I dreamed about you, about holding your lifeless body in my arms.” As he added, “it felt too real,” San felt a lump forming in his throat, his words barely escaping.
“You like me too, don’t you?”
San didn’t reply. Instead, he stared at the jagged lines of the paint cracks, tracing their patterns with his eyes. The faded beige paint, peeling off in patches, seemed to silently beg for a fresh coat.
With his attention solely on avoiding Vee, San was taken by surprise when he suddenly sensed the weight of the boy straddling him.
He remained frozen in place, uncertain of what to do, which brought a smile to Vee’s face. He wore a smug smile as he leaned down, his breath warm against San’s skin, and planted a slow, lingering kiss on the side of his mouth, making him gasp.
As San asked, “What do you think you are doing?” trying to sound angry, his hands betrayed his true feelings through the firm, bruising hold he had on Vee’s hips.
“Helping you forget that nightmare.”
Vee leaned in once more, causing San to scan the room frantically, desperate to distract his attention from Vee. But the sensation of Vee’s warm breath on his lips became too overwhelming, and San finally gave in, pressing their lips together. Feeling the gentle touch of Vee’s lips meeting his in a small peck was unlike anything he ever felt before, it was both electrifying and calming.
Overwhelmed by his desires, San couldn’t resist the urge to pull Vee closer, relishing the sensation of their bodies melding together, savoring the addictive feeling of Vee’s soft lips moving against his.
San’s heart was racing, the pounding rhythm echoing in his ears, as the dance of Vee’s lips against his own sent a surge of want through his veins, igniting a fire within him. The world around them seemed to blur as they lost themselves in their desires, their bodies entwined with a fervor that consumed them both.
However, in the midst of all the sensations, a subtle tinge of regret permeated the air, bringing back memories of the vows he had sworn to another.
Vee seemed to have sensed it as he pulled back and cradled San’s face in his hands. With a quick shake of his head, he planted soft kisses on San’s forehead, nose, and cheeks, his actions fueled by a deep longing. Leaning closer, he whispered, “Just focus on me. I deserve that much, at least.”
Hearing his words, San felt his heart shatter, prompting him to pull Vee closer. Without a moment’s hesitation, he gently laid Vee down on the bed and began a tender journey of kisses, starting from his jawline, trailing down his neck, and continuing across his shoulder, till eventually ending at his wrists where San could feel his racing heartbeat.
Vee’s free hand gently traced the contours of San’s face as he kissed his heartbeat. With each tender touch, the longing between them grew stronger, as if their very souls were reaching out for one another.
With their hearts pounding in unison, San came to the realization that there was no way to escape, as if fate had never offered a chance to begin with.
Vee was his, the same way he belonged to Vee.
He apologized to the goddess, acknowledging the vows he had broken before sharing a lingering kiss with Vee, his tongue licking into San’s mouth as he pushed San down and climbed on top of him.
--
Vee’s moans echoed through the room as San thrust deep inside him. He tightly pressed his lips together, desperate to silence any noise, but the intensity of his moans caught him off guard.
As he approached the edge, an intense sensation coursed through him, making his claws emerge and etch deep, scratch marks onto San’s back. San thoroughly cared for his leaking cock, his strokes synchronized to the rhythm and urgency of his thrusts.
Laying back, Vee surrendered to the moment, feeling the man’s presence enveloping him completely, as if he was entwined in every fiber of his being in a way that was entirely new to Vee, despite his long life.
As they both reached their climax, San pulled out, tenderly cradling his face and embraced him tightly, both their eyes welling up with tears of longing and something more they didn’t dare to say out loud.
Vee clung to the handsome man, his fingers digging into San’s arm, desperately savoring every second of their stolen night, trying to etch the memory into his skin forever.
The bright moonlight slipped into the room, and both of them stared out the window at the full moon, cruelly smiling at them as a bittersweet reminder of their dwindling time together.
There was just one more full moon left. He was about to lose San, either to Wad or to the goddess. He was going to lose the only person he gave his love to.
Vee was going to be alone again.
--
As they walked into the club together the next morning, it felt like they were being watched by curious eyes, as if they all knew what San and Vee were up to the previous night. Vee attempted to silently slip away, but San caught him, their hands intertwining as he guided him towards his office. As he quietly walked beside San, he caught a glimpse of Vee’s bright smile from the corner of his eyes, a genuine bashfulness radiating from him.
“Are you okay with this?” San asked, just to make sure, when he noticed everyone staring at their linked arms with wide eyes.
Vee nodded eagerly, his grip on San tightening as he exclaimed perhaps a bit too loudly, “This is perfect!”
San always knew how endearing Vee could be when he thought no one was watching, sitting in the backyard, conversing with the plants and birds while watering them. Seeing him drop his usual smirk and instead reveal his cuteness in front of everyone, San’s feelings for him intensified beyond he thought was possible. He couldn’t help but lean in and kiss his checks, making him yelp and push him away.
“What?”
Vee’s eyes widened with disbelief as he looked at him, and then he couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “You must have done something to Khun San, because I find it hard to believe that my irritable old man is actually you.”
“Keep calling me an irritable old man,” he challenged, “and he’ll be right here.”
“Well, joke’s on you because I fell for him first.”
San’s laughter filled the room as he closed the door behind him, wrapping his arms around Vee in a warm hug. As he leaned in to kiss Vee, his laughter filled the air, and he eagerly kissed him back. “I must say, that’s an effective way to shut me up,” Vee commented, only to have San respond by kissing him again, effectively silencing him.
Just as they were starting to get lost in their kiss, the sudden sound of two firm knocks shattered the moment, causing them to reluctantly break apart.
The sound of San’s angry voice carried from the other side of the door, demanding, “Who’s there?” Vee couldn’t help but chuckle as he reached out to open the door.
Tao walked into the office, his smile radiating warmth and energy, like the sun on a summer day, as he glanced between the two of them. “So, Khun San finally gave in? Do you now believe me?”
“I don’t,” San shook his head. Vee wasn’t Wad, San was even more certain of it. “But, it’s alright, perhaps this is the way it was always supposed to end.”
Vee frowned at those words. San wasn’t right. This wasn’t the way it was always supposed to end. Vee was the one who should’ve killed him by taking back the stone, not the one who felt dread and fear at the thought of San dying.
San noticed the sudden change in Vee’s expression and immediately reached out to hold his hand, whispering, “I’m sorry,” even though it was Vee who should be apologizing.
“Khun San, we don’t have long left. You need to let Khun Wad feed you the remaining stone,” Tao reminded him. “Why not just Vee try? What if we are lucky?”
San’s smile was tinged with a touch of melancholy. The once joyful atmosphere was transformed into one of sorrow and grief. They all shared a common feeling of heartbreak, yet each had their own reasons.
“We can try.”
Though, it seemed like they all knew it wasn’t going to work.
“Yes, we can.”
--
Vee woke up to San’s piercing screams echoing through the room. Turning around, he grasped onto him tightly, hoping it would provide San with some comfort, but it was in vain.
As he screamed and thrashed, Vee’s tear-filled eyes reflected the agony San felt, while the crimson stain from San’s shirt slowly spread onto Vee’s, in an unsettling, never-ending flow. There was so much blood, it felt as if Vee could drown in them.
As San cried out in pain, ignoring the consequences that awaited him, Vee shut his eyes, his tears flowing down his cheeks as he poured all his energy into channeling a surge of healing magic into San.
The room was filled with the piercing sound of San’s screams, mingling with his own anguished sobs, a constant reminder that nothing was healing, no matter how much effort he put in.
In a fit of rage, Vee’s scream echoed through the air, piercing and full of fury at the goddess. Frustration colored his voice as he made another attempt, his swears echoing through the room, almost hidden by San’s screams.
As his hands got dyed red in San’s blood, the weight of irony hung heavy on him — he was forbidden from using his gift to heal the one person he loved.
Vee’s voice went from anger to a trembling sob as San’s mouth filled with blood and he quickly held him up, letting his blood flow onto Vee’s shoulders.
Sitting on the bed, he cradled San in his arms, watching the half-moon outside the window bathing the surroundings in a gentle glow.
The moment San fell into a fitful sleep again, Vee sprinted towards the shrine without hesitation. He had to do something.
--
San woke up, still in pain, while the moon hid behind a blanket of dark, heavy clouds, to the coldness of the empty bed, as if Vee had been gone for a long while.
Standing up, he was immediately struck by a searing pain that coursed through his entire body. He let out a groan and clutched his chest, leaning against the wall to steady himself. His mouth was filled with the coppery taste of blood as he rasped out Vee’s name.
With no one responding, he gingerly made his way down the stairs, each step more painful than the next.
Prik, still half-asleep, was the first to spot him hobbling down the stairs, and rushed to his side to offer help.
“Have you seen Vee?” he asked as she guided him to a nearby chair and handed him a glass of water.
Maybe it was the sight of blood caked on his lips or the visible stains on his shirt, but she purposely avoided meeting his gaze as she replied, “Khun Vee left not too long ago, saying he was going to help you.”
“Help me-“ San was about to ask more, but his words were cut off by a loud wheeze, his chest constricting painfully. The room filled with the echoing sound of San’s coughs, each one more painful than the last, as he weakly collapsed onto the chair, blood staining the floor beneath him.
“Khun San,” she exclaimed, though she kept her distance, wary of causing him any further pain.
“I need to find Vee,” he said, his voice rough and strained, as the pain grew more intense with each step, fueling his resolve to find him. With Vee gone, the pain became excruciating, surpassing what he thought he could bear.
“Khun San,” she said as she trailed behind him, “you should go back to bed. I don’t think you should be walking around now.”
“I have fifteen more days before I die. Nothing will happen to me till then.” San was at least sure of that.
With determination, he walked straight to the shrine, the echoes of Vee’s desperate screams at the goddess as he was writhing in pain, still haunting his thoughts. The words Vee spoke were muffled and unclear, but he was certain that if Vee went to seek help, he would find him at the shrine.
Reaching until there was the problem.
His body trembled with exhaustion as he pressed on, the torment of pain increasing with each desperate step. Perhaps the stone’s potent poison was unleashing its final, deadly assault on San’s body as they neared the end. Perhaps just not having Vee beside him was worsening it.
The pain he felt was indescribable, a searing agony that consumed every fiber of his being. His body felt far too weak, as if it sensed the limited time remaining — a mere fifteen days until it would decay to nothingness, his soul trapped as the punishment for his broken oath.
Still, San pushed himself forward, the sound of his labored breath filling the air.
Slowly but surely, the clouds relented, and the rain started to pour down in a gentle drizzle, causing his wounds to burn with each raindrop. With each step he took down the path, the rain intensified, gradually turning into a relentless downpour that soaked him to the bone and made his wounds bleed profusely, leaving behind a trail of pinkish hues.
Even though he had walked that same road every day for over fifty years, everything felt unfamiliar, from the path beneath his feet to the distant sounds that were strangely muted. He felt unfamiliar. The road seemed to stretch on endlessly, making him doubt if he would ever reach. Maybe, he wasn’t going to.
San sat down on the pavement, feeling the rough concrete slab beneath him that served as a makeshift doorstep. He bit down in his lips hard enough to draw blood as the pain pulsed through all his wounds, every bruise, every cut, every stab, every gunshot, all tearing open, all bleeding, as his veins felt like it was on fire.
The question “When will this end?” burned in his mind, but he couldn’t open his mouth, in fear of screaming awake the entire street.
With a groan escaping his lips, San forced himself to stand up once more. With each step, he berated himself for his impulsive choice to leave home and walk down the street, burning up in pain as it rained heavily.
Despite everything, he pressed on, feeling the wind whip through his clothes as the rain poured down.
--
Vee was kneeling in front of the altar, praying with all that he had, but no one heard his prayers, no one bothered. Desperate for a response, he even tried reaching out to Ton or any other huli jing he knew, but his efforts were met with an unsettling silence.
The sound of his scream echoed through the air as he slammed his fists into the altar, knocking down the offerings of their perch. Scared to further upset her, he quickly scrambled to rearrange everything back in its place. But as he did, everything he tried to stack kept collapsing, and his vision was too blurry to see anything.
He collapsed onto the floor, his sobs piercing through the rainy night as he pleaded loudly. “Please, mother,” he begged, “I’ve always done everything you’ve asked. I’ll do anything. Just let San live.”
“Vee…”
Startled, Vee leaped to his feet at the sound of a hoarse whisper, barely audible, calling out his name from the entrance to the shrine.
“Khun San!” Vee exclaimed, rushing towards the man, who struggled to remain upright. His white shirt was soaked crimson, his eyes barely open. As soon as Vee held him, San collapsed into his arms, his eyes tightly closed and his breath barely noticeable.
Vee carefully carried him outside, to a secluded corner, hidden away in case someone happened to come by. He had enemies who would love to get his hands on him in such a state, not that Vee would let anyone harm a single hair on San’s body.
He cradled San’s head in his lap, his hand remaining steadfast on his faint pulse as tears fell down onto his face, drop by drop, mingling along with the rain.
“Khun San,” Vee whispered to the quiet night. The afterlife seemed to loom closer to San than Vee. “I’m sorry, I’m trying, but no one is listening to me.” Tears streaming down his face, he struggled to speak through his sobs, “I don’t know what to do.”
Vee leaned down to kiss San’s forehead, it felt feverish under his lips; it felt cold. Feeling utterly overwhelmed, Vee cried louder and buried his face in San’s neck, hoping to soak in his comforting scent, but all he could smell was the overpowering stench of blood.
“Khun, wake up,” Vee’s voice faltered. “Tell me what to do!” He felt utterly inexperienced, even with his three tails. “She’s angry at me, I can feel it. She’s trying to take you away to punish me.”
San’s hands quivered with exhaustion, but he mustered enough strength to graze Vee’s fingertips, savoring the brief connection. “You’re-“ San coughed violently, as he vomited up even more blood, “-I know you’re not Wad,” he managed to say in the faintest of whispers.
Vee shook his head. Clutching onto San’s hands desperately, he pleaded silently, fearing that without his love, he would be left utterly alone, abandoned in a cold and unforgiving world.
“You were sent to kill me, weren’t you?”
“I was asked to gain your trust and steal the stone,” Vee confessed, his grip tightening. “But I couldn’t go through with it, and now you’re paying the price.”
Despite his efforts to sit up, San’s energy failed him. “Vee,” he managed to say, “this isn’t your fault. I only had a few more days left, anyway.”
“She is punishing me by hurting you. How is this not my fault?”
“Because I love you too, little fox,” he whispered softly, eyes filled with all the affection he had for Vee.
San couldn’t help but chuckle at the low whine that escaped from Vee. The sound of his laughter abruptly shifted into strained wheezes, mingled with the metallic flavor of blood, ending as a feeble attempt to hide the sheer weight of their despair.
San emphasized, “I heard every word earlier, and I want you to understand that it’s not your fault. Let me die with that assurance.”
“You won’t die, not today.”
Vee vigorously rubbed away the tears in his eyes before helping San lean up against the wall before running back inside the shrine. In front of her statue, he carefully lowered himself onto the ground, closing his eyes in a deep meditation, blocking out the overwhelming ache in his heart.
If no one was going to help him, then he was going take matters into his own hands.
--
How long he had been sitting there, San couldn’t say for certain. Time seemed to stretch into an eternal abyss, as he was consumed by the deafening agony that left him unable to make a sound. All he could do to not fall into a deep dark sleep was stare at Vee’s footprint in the wet soil, slowly disappearing under the weight of the pouring rain.
With each passing moment, the pain gradually started to lessen, leaving San with an unsettling feeling. Summoning every ounce of strength, he managed to rise to his feet, driven by the need to find Vee and stop him from doing whatever he was to save San.
He had made little progress when a sharp pain pierced his chest, as if someone had plunged a knife into his heart, even though there was no one in sight. Collapsing to his knees, San groaned in pain, his hands sinking into the wet dirt road. His vision was blurred by the overwhelming pain, making it hard for him to make out anything in front of him.
His screams of pain echoed through the air, leaving him feeling nothing but a bone-chilling coldness. And then, there was chaos, he could muffled screams and shouts, amidst it he couldn’t help but sense a strange, otherworldly presence, much stronger than Vee.
“Vee...” he tried to call out for him, but all that escaped his lips was a bloodcurdling scream as he felt another excruciating stab in his chest, this time piercing deeper and lingering longer.
Vee’s scream of “Stop!” echoed through the air, reaching San’s ears. In that moment, he felt Vee’s embrace, holding him tightly, and he wished he could stay like that forever.
“I gave him my red thread,” Vee stated.
The sound of a bone chilling laugh filled the air as Vee’s words hung in the silence, leaving San feeling uneasy. San strained his ears, but there was complete silence in response. In fact, there was no sound at all, until a blinding light illuminated the darkness, visible even with his eyes shut tight.
A cold hand caressed his cheeks, sending shivers down his spine, and a voice, eerily familiar, warned, “If I spare him, you will face the consequences instead.”
“I’m ready.”
“Even if it meant sacrificing all your tails that took you so long to cultivate?”
Although San wanted to shout at Vee and stop him from accepting, he felt a strange detachment from his own physical presence as if he longer owned his own body.
“Yes.”
“Even if it meant he completely loses all recollection of your existence?”
San wanted to scream back, but he couldn’t find his voice, so he clenched his fists and let his tears silently stream down his face as he heard Vee accept it.
--
As San woke up in his office in the morning, he felt a wave of confusion wash over him. He was certain he had gone home the night before. He glanced down at his clothes, half-expecting to find bloodstains, cuts, and dirt, but they appeared surprisingly clean, as if he had changed before going to sleep.
“Why would your clothes be dirty, San?” he chided himself. “What’s wrong with you?”
San walked into his bedroom, the light bouncing off the mirror caught his attention, causing him to frown as he glanced at the perfectly made bed. He felt an overwhelming sense of loss, as if he had misplaced something incredibly important. With a burst of speed, he ran out of his office and raced towards Tao, determined to ensure the safety of the stone.
“Khun San?” Just as Tao was finishing his morning rituals, San barged into the shrine, causing him to furrow his brows in annoyance.
“Is the stone safe?” San asked in a rush, making Tao frown deepen.
“Of course it is,” he replied, his voice tinged with frustration. “After our failed attempt to find Khun Wad when it shone, we kept it back and haven’t taken it out since. The raid never made it in either. I can recheck if you want.”
“No, it’s okay,” he muttered, trying to calm his racing heart, “just a nightmare.”
2024
As he woke up, Vee felt a dull ache coursing through his entire body, accompanied by a sharp pang in his chest or upper stomach - he despised the sensation either way. From the left, a persistent and irritating low beeping sound filled the air.
“Shut that noise,” Vee grumbled as he tried to move his hand to switch it off, only to find it being clasped tightly by someone. Trying to wake himself up, he blinked his eyes a few times, feeling the heaviness slowly fade away.
His eyes quickly adjusted, revealing the sterile hospital room and the sound of beeping monitors. It all came rushing back to him - the gunshot, the pain - as he remembered walking with San. The same man who had clutched onto Vee’s arm, sleeping awkwardly on the chair by his bedside.
Vee looked at his sleeping face, smiling as the man stirred awake. “Hey,” he said, his words trailing off lazily, as San looked around with a dazed expression, looking far too cute for a man how was over two hundred, before finally locking eyes with Vee in a wide-eyed surprise.
Without uttering a word, San tightly embraced Vee, leaving no room for him to speak either. San whispered into their hug, “I’ll go get the doctor,” and gently pulled away.
Just as he was about to leave, the doctor entered the room, her face concealed by a mask. San immediately pointed towards Vee. “Good to see you awake,” she said, her voice filled with warmth as she approached him. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been shot.”
Her laughter filled the room as she responded, “Other than that, are there any other hints of nausea? Discomfort?”
Vee shook his head and motioned to his stomach, wrapped in gauze, saying, “I feel alright, all things considered.”
“Your vitals are stable,” she reassured him, “we just need to run some tests to confirm you’re out of the danger zone.” She gently patted his arm, adding, “Your friend was really worried about you.”
“Right.” Vee was about to tease San, but his words were interrupted by the doctor pulling down her mask, revealing a warm smile as she turned to talk to San. His breath hitched in his throat, causing Vee to feel a tightness in his chest. “Khun Wad?”
--
A wide grin spread across San’s face, his eyes lighting up with excitement, unable to contain his elation as Vee immediately recognized Wad.
“You mean Doctor Wad? You and your friend need to learn some manners,” she tried to seem stern, but it was clear she was just trying to joke with them. It seemed like neither of them felt like joking, as she awkwardly excused herself and left them alone in silence.
San stayed by Vee’s bedside, watching Wad walk away. His heart ached with sorrow as he saw her hunched shoulders, but he couldn’t leave Vee. He won’t. Even if he had to die painfully again, he was going to do that by Vee’s side.
“She seems to like you. Shouldn’t you be going after her?” Vee asked, startling him out of his thoughts.
San rolled his eyes and sank back into the uncomfortable chair, feeling the hardness of the seat against his back as he shot a glare at Vee, who just frowned back.
“How long were you planning on making a fool out of me?”
The machine’s beeping grew more rapid, filling the room with an uncomfortable tension. Vee couldn’t help but feel a wave of embarrassment as he was forced to confront the sound of his own heartbeat, all while San’s expectant gaze bore into him.
“You remember?”
“Not really, not everything. Just a few flashes here and there, mostly I remember dying in your arms.”
Vee looked down at the blanket on his lap, staring at the patterns woven into its fabric as he fidgeted with his short nails.
“When were you planning on telling me?” San frowned, “were you planning on telling me?”
“No,” Vee shook his head, “if it was solely my decision, you wouldn’t have recalled me whatsoever. But it isn’t.”
Emotions overwhelmed San as he grappled with the decision to either burst into tears or unleash his anger on the boy. The sight of him in that bed, encircled by wires, made him seem so small that San couldn’t find any words, instead he stared at the spotless tiles.
“P’San,” Vee called for him, “I-” his words tailed off but as their eyes met, he cleared his throat and added, “It was only after I got shot that I remembered everything.”
San hastily stood up from the dreadful chair and settled onto the inviting bed, intertwining his fingers with Vee’s. Leaning in, he softly asked, “Did she erase your memory as well?”
“I died, P’San,” he whispered. “Or as close to death as a huli jing can experience.”
San stilled, trying to recall all that he knew about the nine-tailed foxes. His mind was haunted by a distant memory, replaying his grandmother’s tale of a fox spirit’s punishment. The spirit’s tails were all cut off, causing her to revert to the moment before she acquired her first tail.
He held onto Vee tighter. San tried his best to avoid self-blame, but with each passing moment, it became harder to resist.
“It took me a long time to regain my first tail and then I found myself sent here, completely, utterly human since I gave up my red thread. Fortunately, my grandma was there to take care of me.”
“Do you remember everything?”
“No.”
San smiled happily, realizing that they both had a new beginning on the horizon, a blank canvas full of possibilities just waiting to be transformed into a beautiful masterpiece. Together.
--
Standing at the shrine, Wad’s eyes were fixed on San and Vee’s intertwined fingers, while Tao carefully retrieved the stone from its box. Tao had meticulously prepared everything. Now, all that was left was for Wad to feed the remaining stone to San, pouring all of her heart and soul into the act, and they would all be finally free.
Tao was skeptical, but the consensus among everyone was clear: Wad was the one with the power to break the oath. So, he went along with them. He called San to the altar, the sound of his voice echoing through the sacred space, and asked him to sit down and bow his head in prayer to the goddess.
As San began his prayer, Wad chipped off a section of stone and meticulously ground it down, filling the air with the sound of scraping.
Vee’s grip tightened on Juu, both of them looking far too nervous as Wad poured the powder into the chalice and held it up for San to drink.
“San,” she spoke softly, her words filled with sincerity, “thank you for waiting for me for so long, for loving me so deeply.”
San’s lips curled into a smile as he drained the water in one go. In an instant, a sharp, agonizing pain shot through his body, familiar yet far more potent, the burning sensation searing him from the inside like molten lava.
It was a bittersweet experience, as the pain was overshadowed by a feeling of newfound freedom. With the pain fading away, he felt a sense of relief wash over him, as if he was being rejuvenated. It felt amazing.
Until it wasn’t.
With a sudden jolt, the cup slipped from his hand and made a piercing sound as it collided with the ground. San crumpled in agony, falling back onto the floor, screaming in agonizing pain. It was as if time had rewound itself, and he found himself right back in that alley, feeling the same fear and pain.
With each beat of his heart, the taste of blood intensified, accompanied by a sharp pain in his chest. The sound of people shouting for him echoed in his ears, but what hurt his heart the most were Juu’s cries. He never wanted her to witness him in such a state.
As he struggled to call out for Juu and Vee, his movements were abruptly interrupted by the icy touch of a glass against his lips. He instinctively tilted his head back, welcoming the rush of cool water into his parched mouth. He drank it all in one go, feeling the cool liquid course through his body, offering absolution from the pain he was experiencing. San finally opened his eyes to see Vee in front of him, eyes wide with fear and terror.
“I feel better now,” he exhaled with relief, a smile gracing his face as he extended his arm to embrace Vee.
Then it all went dark.
--
San was driving on the road alongside the beach, while Vee leaned out of the window, relishing the salty breeze tickling his face. They were on their way to Vee’s grandma’s favorite place, a hidden cove nestled on an island not too far from Vee’s childhood home.
Despite expressing her desire to go there, she asserted that her illness had reached a point where she could no longer endure any more travel.
San’s recovery too took much longer than expected, leaving him in a coma for over a week. His body fought to recover from the effects of the stone’s poison that was in his body for longer than it should’ve been. His grandma’s condition had worsened significantly by then.
So, there they were, trying to make it up to her, promising her that they’ll video call her as soon as they reached. Only San knew the truth.
As he woke up at the hospital, Tao and Vee’s grandma were sitting by his bedside, their concerned faces comforting him. Tao had wasted no time in saying, “See, I told you Vee was the one you needed to drink from. I’m never wrong about these things,” as soon as San woke up.
“He’s truly yours.”
Despite her frail appearance, Vee’s grandma held his hand tightly as she said, “Promise me that you’ll never hurt my boy. He may put on a tough front, but he has the gentlest of hearts. He wouldn’t be able to endure the pain if you ever hurt him.”
“I know,” San had whispered back, and then asked her for something that made her smile with delight.
As they approached the beach, the sound of gentle waves lapping against the shore filled their ears, while the sun’s warm rays caressed their skin. Walking alongside Vee, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he suddenly leaped onto his back.
“What were you thinking so deeply about?” Vee whispered into his ears and he rested his head on San’s shoulders.
“Your grandma.”
His smile dropped at that and San just leaned his head back, pressing his cheek against Vee’s, trying to offer him wordless support.
It didn’t take them long to arrive at the hidden cove at the island, and they were immediately struck by its stunning beauty, just as Vee’s grandma had described.
Vee’s grandmother had painted them a vivid picture of the place with her words, but nothing could have prepared them for the breathtaking beauty that lay before their eyes. The cove, nestled between towering cliffs, felt like a hidden sanctuary. The evening sky stretched infinitely, merging flawlessly with the sparkling sea in a mesmerizing spectacle.
They just looked at each other and with a laugh, they kicked off their shoes and plunged into the inviting waters of the ocean. Their bodies tangled together as San dragged Vee close, kissing him deeply, the salty ocean air adding a touch of wildness to their kisses.
The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, casting a warm golden glow on Vee as he walked towards the shore. He sat down on the warm sand, feeling the grains shift beneath him, as San approached him. “I’ll be right back,” he said. “I just have to grab something from the car.”
Vee happily lied down, savoring the warmth of the fading sunlight as San walked off. It had been ages since he allowed himself to savor the simple pleasure of sunlight warming his skin and the rhythmic sound of waves gently caressing his feet.
As he closed his eyes, the weariness from the lengthy drive washed over him. He could sense sleep creeping up on him. The gentle sounds of waves crashing lulled him into an even drowsier state.
He sat up, feeling the soft grains of sand beneath him, not wanting to doze off on the empty beach. As a mortal now, he had to be a bit more careful.
Vee watched as the sun disappeared behind the horizon, taking with it the brightness, leaving behind a soft twilight glow. Yet, there was no sign of San’s return. With a frown on his face, he fixated his gaze on the narrow path nestled between the towering rocks, hoping to catch a glimpse of San, but there was no sign of him.
With a shrug, he turned his gaze back to the ocean, its vastness stretching out before him. The thought of taking another swim crossed his mind, but before he could act on it, he heard footsteps approaching from behind.
“Fina-” Vee was about to turn around to greet San but was instead greeted by his grandma standing next to him, smiling widely with Juu holding her up. Overwhelmed with joy, he widened his eyes and quickly moved towards her, pulling her into a tight, heartfelt hug.
“I thought you couldn’t travel,” Vee almost cried, but he was so happy to see her there.
His grandma didn’t say anything at first; instead, she pulled back from the hug and grinned at him, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she added, “Well, how could I possibly miss this?” Her words puzzled Vee.
When he turned to look, his breath hitched, and his eyes widened in surprise. San was kneeling on the sand, clutching a ring box, and inside was a breathtaking jade ring.
San smiled up at him, looking as confident as he could be, but Vee couldn’t help but notice the slight trembling in his voice, betraying his attempt to conceal his nerves.
“Vee,” he said, “Marry me.”
Vee’s heart skipped a beat as he processed San’s words. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. As they locked eyes, the world around them faded away, leaving only the two of them. “For real?” His voice was a faint whisper, struggling to be heard amidst the deafening crash of the waves.
Veee heard someone trying to suppress their amusement with a cough, possibly his own grandmother, but he ignored it as San tenderly grasped his hand and admitted, “My life has been a long and tiresome journey, with most of it fading into a distant blur. Yet, the moments when you were in it shine brighter than a thousand sunsets. I want to be by your side for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”
Vee’s face lit up with a radiant smile as his eyes brimmed with tears, overwhelmed by the genuine love and happiness shining through San’s gaze. The thought of them actually getting married had never crossed his mind, catching him completely off guard. Yet in that moment, it felt like a revelation, with everything suddenly making perfect sense, like the last piece of a puzzle falling into place.
Taking a deep breath, Vee’s eyes lit up with delight as he wrapped San in a warm hug, whispering, “I can’t think of a better way to spend my life than being married to you.”
San leaned in and pressed his lips against Vee’s, the salty ocean breeze caressing his face, before sliding the ring onto his finger. Vee stared at the ring, feeling a rush of love as he pulled San in for a lingering kiss, completely ignoring the eyes of their friends and family.
Thunderous cheers erupted, filling the air with joyous energy, as they were engulfed in a sea of warm embraces. Amidst the celebratory atmosphere, Vee’s gaze returned to his ring.
With one having once been an immortal and the other a former nine-tailed fox punished into mortality, they truly made quite the pair.