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Why my beta reader is not allowed to write

Summary:

This is just a bunch of shitpost/crackfic stuff that I'm writing because why not - Fun_Cats

Also, this is just gonna be filled with short oneshots within the same chapter because they are just THAT short. (like Chuuya BAHAHAHAH)

(Title is obviously satire. I can write if I want to lol - Fun_Cats)

Notes:

All written by moi~

Will get updated when boredom starts to hit

Work Text:

Yosano and the other Yosano slowly inched closer, their eyes locked together. Their lips softly touched as they kissed oneself passionately. The first Yosano was such a good kisser that the other Yosano fucking died.

The End.

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Atsushi woke up on a sunny day. He felt energised as he got ready to go to work. Skipping to work, he hummed a random tune. But as he got closer to the ADA building he noticed something… strange.

He saw Karl carrying Poe on his shoulder, Kunikida’s notebook was writing on Kunikida, Arahabaki was flying around like a fly on drugs, Yosano was falling apart like lego bricks, Tanizaki was reaching such a bad resolution that it was getting harder to identify him.

All Atsushi could do was stare. ‘This was… I don’t even know what this is’ He thought as Ranpo approached him.

“Furry. L.” He said as Atsushi suddenly became a full fledged furry. “I’m not Atsushi anymore.” He declared, “I am… Legoshi.”
“Isn’t that a wolf?” Kyouka asked as she appeared from thin air.
“Rawr xD” Atsushi meowed as Kyouka glitched through the ground.

Ranpo, who was the only one that seemed semi-normal, just didn’t give a shit as he ate a piece of candy that was probably over three years old and smelled like Fyodor’s age.

Then he rolled over the Statue of Liberty, effectively crushing it under him and causing a tear in the space time continuum. Then he continued to roll over the Earth like a road roller, crushing everything and successfully making the Earth look just like Dazai’s flat ass.

The End.

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(This next one was written sometime during chapter six of "That's Ruff, Buddy" during a writer's block. So I thought I could help out a bit lmao. The misspellings are on purpose)

“is that your boooyyyfriiiemdn???????”
“yes, you little shit. It’s my boyfriend, poe. He’s my babygirl. I love hiom so muvh. We ate his raccon together,.”

“So cute” Everyone thought as they all started to breakdance on theb table. “Skidibidi raccoon yooooooo” Ranpo said as poe walked into the door. “What’s up, fuckers!?” Poe yelleed as he started to french kiss the state of new york.

“Just eating the big hero 6 dude. Nothing new.” Ranpo replied as he swallowed the ADA whole.

The End.

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“BJDSBFJKDANFLADNAKSD ATSHUSHI MAH BOIIIIII!!! How you doin’, my feminine fellow? Can I interest you in some…. chocolate?” I brought out my hidden stash of chocolate from outta my pants and showed it to him. Atsushi was thrilled, he was allergic but he didn’t care. He stuffed his face with chocolate and promptly threw up because it was 100% cocoa.
“HA! GET FUCKED, BITCH!” I yelled. But then I realised how much I love him so I reverted back time to where none of this nonsense ever happened.

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