Chapter Text
"I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something. Sex, attention, drugs, love... and then famine came, and made them rabid for it.
Something twisted in Dean's stomach. In one second, he understood what this implied for both him and Sam.
He felt dizzy.
He didn't want to think of the implications.
So instead he advanced on Castiel: "And since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?" he sneered in that belittling way that always made him feel better.
Cas looked a little ashamed. It was adorable how taken aback he still was, every time Dean did this to him. How hurt. He practically sniffled as he explained that it was Jimmy's body. Dean pressed it, but all the while he was thinking of his hunger, that ache under his skin for the touch, the look, the feel of
"He will devour the souls of the victims." And that stopped Dean's rumination, because Cas right now was on his way to becoming a victim and that terrifying thought stopped any other... concern.
And besides, he was stronger than that. He wouldn't give in. He would never let his hunger consume him.
Not when he had the world to save.
Dean was so caught up in thoughts, he didn't notice Sam's shakiness, didn't notice the way he stumbled as he excused himself to the bathroom and left Dean alone with Cas.
Dean paced, the tension in him mounting. He watched the angel, sitting on Dean's bed like he belonged there, stuffing his mouth with tiny burgers. He had never seen the angel eat before, and it was with a mix of repulsion and arousal that he watched Cas passionately tear into the burger. The impulse came suddenly, a flood of desire to rip the bag out of Cas' hands, push him down hard on the bed, and press his body against the angel's.
Dean shook his head and made a snide comment about the Hamburglar instead.
"Sam, let's go," Dean said, suddenly needing his brother beside him, some sort of buffer between him and Cas. Cas could sit in the backseat and Dean would forget about him until he became useful again, and meanwhile him and Sam would be on their way to saving the world again. Sam would help him. He had his back.
Except when Sam came out of the bathroom, he looked worse than Dean felt. "I can't," he whispered, looking miserable.
"What? Why?"
Sam looked down, biting his lip, ashamed of himself. "You know," he said in a low voice, refusing to say it.
"You've got to be kidding me," Dean sputtered with frustration. He turned to Cas, asking for help, but once again the useless angel explained why there was nothing he could do. It was apparent he was surrounded by incompetent assholes.
In the end, it was Sam who decided. Dean and Cas would go find Famine, and Sam would be handcuffed and locked in the bathroom.
Dean begrudgingly helped Sam, wrapped the handcuffs around the sturdiest pipe they could find, and knelt down to look at his brother. A flicker of emotions he couldn't place flickered across his face. Disapproval, for one, that Sam still had that hunger. Concern that he wouldn't be able to help himself. And Anger, that he was going to sit this one out because he was too weak, he was going to leave Dean alone. With Cas.
you stupid dick he wanted to spit at Sam. But Sam looked so miserable, staring at the floor with big watery eyes, dreaming of the demon blood and swallowing hard; that Dean bit his tongue and only swore to himself quietly as he left.
Cas pushed a shelf in front of the door and disappeared for a split second when they walked out of the motel. By the time Dean got to the Impala, he was back with another damn bag of mini burgers.
Dean drove to the hospital in silence, listening to the near orgasmic sounds of Cas inhaling meat. When he stopped at a light, he took the chance to look critically over at him.
"What?" Cas mumbled in between bites.
"I dunno, man, " Dean said in a faux teasing voice. "I guess I just expected better of you."
Castiel froze at this, his hands midair with the burger on its way to his open mouth. Dean snickered, turning away from him and easing onto the gas as the light turned green.
He heard Cas put the burger back down on the paper. It was still amazing to him how much control he had over the angel. They drove in silence for a moment.
"I don't know how much I am, " Cas said softly after a moment. "I... I'm losing so many of my powers. I don't know what. .. " he trailed off.
Something jerked inside of Dean. It bothered him that he couldn't identify it... Sympathy, or excitement. He didn't respond, not knowing how he could.
Cas was broken. And as much as he hated to admit it.. that excited him.
Intensely.
Cas broke the spell by picking the hamburger up again. In a flash of sudden anger, Dean whipped the bag out of his hands. Cas gaped and reached forward for the bag, like some sort of lame zombie.
"Get a fucking grip, dude, " Dean taunted, almost laughing as Cas lunged over him, trying to grab the bag back. Dean elbowed Cas in the throat, rolled his window open, and threw the bag out.
Cas whimpered and unbuckled his seatbelt.
"Don't!" Dean shouted, throwing his arm over Cas' chest and pressing against him. "Don't you fucking flitter off again to get more of those fucking burgers. You goddamn asshole."
Cas looked at him with those wide, terrified eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and hurt. "Why?" He asked. "I really want them."
"Because you're a god damn weak son of a bitch," Dean spit out. "Are you really this fucking pathetic? That you can't even go one second without stuffing your face? "
This was one of the things that Dean would never understand. Why he was being so mean to Cas. Because he hated how much he cared about him, and yet he could never get over the joy of hurting him.
Cas whimpered and looked out the window. And there it was again. Dean smirked to himself as he felt the surge of power flood through him. Because here was a goddamn angel who would stop his one desire, only because Dean told him to.
He pulled up to the hospital and clicked his belt off, turning to Cas. Cas was still sulking out the window.
"Hey, Cas, " Dean pushed. Cas stiffened, did not respond. "Hey." He poked Cas in the shoulder, hard. "Are you? Are you better than this? "
Cas slowly licked his lips, still not looking at Dean. "No," he whispered, hollow and shamed. Dean smothered a smile. Cas jerked the car handle, and pulled himself out of the car.