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Something to do with what happened

Summary:

Someone manages to reverse the odds and the general consensus of the world for Eurovision 2024 just before the first semifinal. Chaos ensues.

Notes:

Another weird idea I had, but one set at Eurovision and that isn't just an Aikat thing.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Alessia Ciappara’s house, Valletta, Malta, Sunday 5th May 2024, 11:09pm local time

Alessia was sitting in a circle of candles, trying to light them all in the next two minutes (her name doesn’t really matter, but the author wanted to give her a name, also she’s an integral part of the plot). She was tired. Tired of something to do with the voting or the running order screwing over perfectly worthy songs, especially with how The Busker had placed. And she was just tired in general. 

“Come on, you stupid clock, hurry up!” 

After what seemed like hours, the clock struck 11:11. Alessia smiled, poured some water on her herbs, and whispered:

“Aqleb l-aspettattivi u agħti t-trofew lil pajjiż li qatt ma rebaħ”

All the candles went out. Alessia sighed in relief. Now all she needed to do was hope. 

A specific hotel, Malmö, Sweden, Tuesday 7th May 2024, sometime in the morning

Luna sighed and pulled herself out of bed. Today was the day. All the rehearsals and preparations had been leading up to this day, and the first semifinal. The first thing she noticed was a text she’d received from Tali. 

Tali Golergant

Oh my god, the day is here! 

Aleksandra

Super excited :D good morning friend

Meanwhile, back in the delegation bubble, most of the delegation members were panicking because the odds were somehow reversed and they somehow couldn’t tell any of the contestants, which included dancers and on-stage backing singers (though not the offstage ones for some reason), and they probably wouldn’t be best pleased if they found out that the cause of their stress was an angry 19-year-old Maltese woman and witchcraft. 

Eurovision Family

Sarah B. 

Good luck to everyone in today’s semi!

Silia

sarah please never stop being this lovely 

Bambie

I don’t know but why I have this weird feeling

Bambie

But I think there’s been some witchcraft that wasn’t me

Zaachariaha

That makes a change

Malmö Arena Delegation Bubble, Malmö, Sweden, Tuesday 7th May 2024, around 6:20pm local time, and somewhere in Ireland, around 5:20pm local time

“I can’t tell where from or what, but this place is positively laced with magic.” 

Ailsha sighed on the other end of the phone line. “Well, there’s no time for you to find out now, but I can try.” 

“I will never know how you can tell stuff like this. Also please stop reminding me that the show starts in less than three hours.” 

“I know everything, Bambie. And I know you and the team are going to absolutely smash it out there. Though I think I’ll have to find out through watching the show.”

“Which is in 3 hours.”

Malmö Arena, Malmö, Sweden, Tuesday 7th May 2024, around 10:40pm local time

Tali was possibly filled with more glee than she had ever felt. She had just come to the green room after being the first person to represent her country in the contest in 31 years, of course she was happy. The crowd had gone wild, and it was the best feeling. And then something occurred to her. The crowd were happy about Luxembourg’s return, yes, but based on what people were saying, people hadn’t expected that the crowd would be cheering for Luna and Natalia like they were favourites. Least of all Luna and Natalia. 

Around half an hour later....

Finally, Petra and Malin were standing at the podium thing, getting ready to announce the qualifiers. 

“The first country going through to the final is......Serbia!” 

A continuation of Serbia’s now-6-year qualification streak. Teya was proud with that.

“The second country going through to the final is......Cyprus!” 

17 years old, and she’d got her country through. Nothing could compare. 

“Our third finalist is......Australia!”

Still only 1 missed final. Now Zaachariaha and Michael could only hope to follow Voyager’s trajectory of second in a past Australia Decides and then top 10. 

“Also competing on Saturday is......Luxembourg!” 

After 31 years away, they qualified for the final. And Tali couldn’t be more happy. 

“Our fifth finalist tonight is.....Iceland!”

Hera smiled. She got herself through again, and now she could be content with probably a similar result to 2010. 

“The next country going through is......Azerbaijan!” 

Proof that Azerbaijan can do well without stealing songs from Sweden. 

“The seventh finalist is......Portugal!” 

Portugal was on a great streak (justice for Mimicat), and Iolanda was very happy with that. 

“Eight artists left tonight, but only three more spots to go. The eighth finalist is.......Lithuania!” 

And, come to think of it, so was Lithuania. Silvester had brought proof that the language doesn’t matter. 

“Just two places left. The ninth finalist tonight is........Moldova!” 

And also Moldova. One part of Natalia’s mission to do better than 2007 was complete, now all she had to do was reach the top 10. 

“Only one more to go!” (Meanwhile, back in Valletta, Alessia was muttering ‘oh, hurry up, Malin!’) “But six nervous countries all hoping to get that last spot in Saturday’s thriller of a final.” 

Raiven. Luna. Jerry and Alyona. Marko. Bambie. Teemu and Henri. It could only be one country, one song, one or two people. 

“The very last finalist of this semi final is...............Poland!” 

Luna couldn’t stop jumping. She’d made it, and hoped she’d do her country more proud. 

Meanwhile, given Ukraine’s NQ, Luxembourg was now the only country with a 100% qualification streak (though they’d later find out that they came 11th with a 6 point gap), Raiven and Marko were celebrating the one former Yugoslav qualification and running up to hug Teya, Teemu and Henri were....being Teemu and Henri, and Bambie, despite extending Ireland’s NQ streak, was sitting knowingly. Because, earlier on....

Ailsha

It was cast in Malta, but I physically can’t tell you what it is

Ailsha

Also, you slay

Eurovision Family

Saba

Well done everyone, you were all awesome! 

Tali

Oh my god, I’m still buzzing 

Bambie

Guys I think I know what the weird feeling was, but the problem is I physically can’t tell you

Bambie 

But the spell was cast in Malta

Sarah B. 

Ah cool 

Sara C. 

How much magic is there going to be this year and how the hell did you know

Kat Almagro

How the hell are you still awake

Kat Almagro

I don’t mean the ones from tonight, I mean everyone else, like Sarah

Silvester

I guess it’s hello and goodbye

Alena Shirmanova

Love ya Kat

Kat Almagro

Love you too mi amor ❤️

Bambie

Why do I feel like I’m intruding from eight words and an emoji in a group chat with so many people in, I need sleep

Notes:

You know what? I might include Alessia as one of those recurring tweeting Eurofans in Bienvenido Al Desastre. She deserves it. I love her.

The finalists are revealed in the exact order it was in in the simulation, by the way.

And now I no longer need to worry about putting Moldova in the final in a future ESC 2024 AU! No disrespect to Natalia or her song, but In The Middle is my lowest ranked song of this year, and also there’s that thing she said about people “only wanting nudists and demons” after NQing, so I don’t particularly want to make her qualify in my alternative universes. But Moldova had pretty rubbish odds, so...

Unsurprisingly, I’ve read every fic with Aiko in. I also wrote half of them. Same with Kenzy. And obviously for Rober, Vitti, Kat, Aria and Emma, because I wrote all of them.

I still can’t comprehend how the final ends at 1am-ish in most European countries. Mind you, I also can’t comprehend it starting at 2am-ish.

Also, I managed to shoehorn in an actual Ailsha cameo, finally.