Chapter Text
The music from a jukebox. The humming of glowing advertisements. Flickering lights that barely kept the subway station fully visible.
It was the start of Pest’s day. Waiting for the subway to stop, or for the regretevator to manifest nearby. Whichever happened first, he didn’t care, so long as he didn’t have to stay in the same place for too long.
When he heard clicking footsteps from further down the station, he glanced down the hall. A yellow figure, blurry in his vision, and carrying something. “Ugh. (Annoying.)” He mumbled in another language, sitting back upright, hands in the pockets of his sweater.
“Mreow, mrrp. (Don’t think I can’t understand you, sugar.)” He realized his mistake as she got closer. “Meow! (Seems like you need to stop covering most of your eyes!)”
“Doctor.” Pest greeted, “Like I’d ever do that.” She sat down next to him, a briefcase in her hands.
“Mew, meow. (If you can’t tell the difference between me and Party, you really should.)” DrRETRO rolled her eyes at her stubborn friend, looking past him.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” He tried to follow her gaze. She was staring at an empty wall, checking for the regretevator. While it was possible to call the regretevator to any floor from the outside, it was a waste of a floor ticket.
“Mow? Mrow, mew, meow. (What’s it look like? I’m here for the elevator, sugar, ready to offer my service to whoever needs it.)” She stood back up and stepped past him, getting to the side of the bench that was nearer to the blank wall.
He glared at her. “This isn’t your floor.”
She took a glance around the station. “…Mrrp, mew. Meow, hiss-! (I needed to rest, 1314. I’ve been renting an apartment in this city, ‘cause god forbid SHE find out where I’ve been hiding.)”
Right. She.
“(Fair.)” Pest couldn’t deny that it was, in theory, a smart idea. Whether that was true or not, it wasn’t worth the risk. “(I can feel her presence when I’m asleep. The fact that she can’t get in all the way means I must be doing something right.)”
“Meow? Mrrp. (Is it really so easy? I wish it could be me.)” DrRETRO yawned at that moment, leaning back against the wall.
“Not sleeping well?”
“Mew, mow. (Not sleeping, period.)” She tightened her hold on her briefcase. “Meow, hiss… (First shop the elevator stops at, I need coffee…)”
“Good luck with that.” As they both looked away, footsteps started coming from the hall again. “(And here’s the real annoyance…)”
“Ah, oh! Hai you two!!” Nearly tripping over their heels as they came to a stop, PartyNoob stood by the bench, a medium-sized present in their hands.
Pest didn’t say anything at all. “Mew, meow. (Good morning, sugar.)” DrRETRO greeted them kindly, though it would’ve been clear to anyone else that she was too exhausted to talk at that moment.
“I didn’t kno u came to this station, DR!” They noted, sitting next to Pest.
“Meow, mow. (You know me, never in one place.)” She shrugged lightheartedly.
“I didn’t kno that about u! Wow!!” They smiled contently, “What r u two getting on?”
“Mrrp. (The elevator.)”
Pest glared at them, looking them up and down. He didn’t see any floor tickets or indication of any destination on them, so he took a gamble. “The elevator.”
“That’s awesum, I’m also getting on the elevator!!!” PartyNoob cheered happily.
“(Damnit.)” He glanced at the doctor, who looked equally unhappy at that. The party-goer pulled out a bundle of floor tickets, enough for a whole morning and afternoon’s trip using the regretevator. Whether they’d actually use one to get where they needed, or if they’d let the elevator take them anywhere, it was usually the latter.
“Hiss-? Meow. (Where do they get so many tickets? I only ever have a couple.)” DrRETRO meowed in a hushed voice to her beetle of a friend.
“(Don’t know. Those printers aren’t easy to get to, so I doubt they’re getting those themself.)” Pest shrugged, glancing at their bundle of tickets. They looked like real tickets.
“Hm?” PartyNoob looked over at them, “Did u say someting?”
“Mreow. (Not a thing, Poob.)” She turned her briefcase over, holding it on her arm. “Meow… (Speaking of floor tickets…)” She pulled out a holographic ticket.
“Ooh, going somewere special 2day?” They asked curiously, leaning to be looking at her, and consequently getting closer to Pest.
“Mrrrp-! (Snrrk-!)” She giggled at how little her friend liked being around others, the beetle’s expression curved bitterly. “Meow, mrow. (Ah, I’m just going to the Glorp N’ Go. I need a coffee and some catnip.)”
“Aw. Tired?” They asked, getting a gentle nod. “Get sum sleep l8ter. Can’t hav our doctor too sleepy!” They smiled supportively at her.
“Meow! Mrrrp, hiss… (You’ve got it, sugar. Yeah, I’ll sleep…)” She meowed, exhausted.
“Hah.” It was Pest’s turn to laugh at her.
And then, finally, they heard the elevator ding. Looking over, out of the empty wall, elevator doors opened out of nothing.
Poob stepped down from the bench, blowing their party horn and walking up to the elevator.
“(I doubt it’ll have room for all of us.)” Pest looked at the doctor, not as eager to get on as their acquaintance.
“…Mreow, hiss! (Oh, of course!)” An elevator that could fit four, with only one space already filled.
“Who had you was?” The being already in the elevator “greeted.”
“Wowie!” Poob looked it up and down, “I’ve never seen one of you guys!”
“A flesh cousin?” Pest glared at it, taking the spot opposite to it. “What’s it doing here like THAT?”
It was a flesh cousin, but it was completely undisguised. The unaltered form of it was glistening as though it was wet, but that was just how it looked. It stumbled and twitched like it didn’t know what to do with itself.
“Party-going bugs make way for cats of meow?” It babbled at them, weirding out everyone but PartyNoob, who didn’t seem to care.
“Hai!” They waved at it, “Were u the first one on the elevator?”
“First of the worst with a happy daze…”
DrRETRO ignored the creature, walked over to the elevator buttons, slipping her ticket into the slot.
“Please say the name of your destination.” A robotic voice came into the elevator.
“Mreow. (Glorp N’ Go.)” She meowed clearly.
There was a pause, and then it buzzed. “That is not a valid floor. Please make sure you are speaking clearly in english, espanol, français, gnarpian, deutsch…”
“Hiss!” She growled, looking around the elevator. “Meow. (I need someone to say it for me.)”
Poob nodded. “Stop!” They yelled at the voice.
It fizzed to a stop. “Please say the name of your destination.”
“Glorp N’ Go!”
“We will stop at- Glorp N’ Go- in- two- floors.” The robotic voice stated. “Now arriving at: Fishy Aquarium.”
“Fishes wish for endless fire.” The flesh cousin bumbled as the elevator door opened, stumbling its way out.
“(And stay off, freak.)” Pest hissed, backed into his corner.
“Meow. (They sure are strange.)” DrRETRO shrugged, glancing into the room. It seemed none of them were interested in looking around the aquarium.
“I liek them. They’re funni! And weird.” PartyNoob giggled, doing a little shimmy in place.
“Mew, mreow? (If I can ask, sugar, who’s that present for?)” She asked, noticing how securely they were holding it.
“Oh, it’s for Mozelle! Her birtday isn’t for a couple weeks, but these r supplies for her!”
“Meow? Mow. (Helping the princess set up her party? That’s a new one.)” She glanced at Pest, who rolled his eyes.
Suddenly, they gasped. “Speaking of parties!” They put the present under one arm, using the other one to dig through their pocket. “I have invites for-“
“THE DAAAAAARRRRRRRRKKKK!”
“What the fuck?” Pest said clearly, looking out into the aquarium.
“Meow-? (You okay out there-?)” DrRETRO stepped out, but the flesh cousin was already striding messily back over.
“Odd behavior go bad with water… Stairs.” It hobbled back in, nearly tripping as it got into the corner.
“…Meow. (…Alright then.)” The elevator doors closed, soft music kicking on.
“…Um, well, forgetting that-!” PartyNoob finished, pulling slips of paper out of their pocket. “Party, tonite! All the details r on here!” They held two out to DrRETRO and Pest.
“Meow, mrrp… Mew. (Oh, uh… Thanks, sugar.)” She accepted it with a smile, glancing at her friend.
“…(I won’t be attending.)” He said in secret, but still took the card and put it in his pocket.
“I’m sure that u were saying someting fun!” Poob smiled, blowing their party horn.
“Part… Tie…” The flesh cousin weakly held its hand out.
“You want one too?” They were confused by it, but still reached into their pocket, putting the paper into its hand.
“Bah… blurb…” It barely had a hold on the invite as it flipped it over.
“..?” Pest watched it, his eyebrows furrowing. That was something he’d never seen before. The flesh cousin did not just have a wimpy hold on the card, but was staring intently at it.
It was reading.
“-!” Suddenly, it took a glance at him, its gaze snapping at him. As though it knew he caught it, it looked back at the paper, twitching.
“Now arriving at: Glorp N’ Go.” A robotic voice came over the speaker, and DrRETRO straightened up, ready to leave.
“..?” She was surprised to see Pest slip out as the doors opened, and then followed behind him. Without a word, they went side-by-side to the coolers. “…Mrrp? (…What’s got you coming in here?)” She whispered.
“…” He glanced back at the elevator. PartyNoob, and the flesh cousin, were still inside. “…(How much do you think it takes for a parasite that takes over dreams to take over something’s mind completely?)”
“Meow-? (What-?)” She paused with her paw still out to grab a cold bottle of coffee.
“(Especially if that being seems to barely have a conscience in the first place. That freak was READING that invite, doc.)” He took another look at the elevator. He could’ve sworn it was looking into the gas station.
Her whiskers twitched as she took a bottle of coffee. “Meow? (What are you saying?)”
“(I’m saying that, if SHE is the thing making that freak act like that, then she knows where Party is holding a party tonight. You know how that idiot gets at their parties.)”
“…Mew. Mreow. (…Drunk. Vulnerable.)” She sighed, “Mrrrp, mow? (We need to go to that party, don’t we?)”
“(If we want to keep an eye out for her, we don’t have a choice.)” He growled, glancing at the cooler. He shoved a light brown drink into his hoodie pocket. “What did you get?” He asked, loud enough for the cashier to hear him.
“Hiss-! Meow… Mreow meow. (Oh-! It’s, um… Stock-brand Catnip Iced Coffee.)” She gave him a glare, but went along with him.
“Disgusting. I don’t think I’m getting anything.” He turned around and walked back across the gas station, giving her one more glance.
She rolled her eyes. Of course he’d rope her into helping him steal the moment they got to a shop. In spite of him, she walked up to the counter. “Mew. (Just this.)”
“Zeepy zlorp, glop gleepy.” The alien cashier said, watching her place down a small amount of coins. “Zoobly dorp, lorp dooba!”
“Mew. (Will do.)” She took her coffee and walked back into the elevator. While the flesh cousin had creeped her out before, it now REALLY unsettled her.
As the elevator doors closed, PartyNoob looked at the creature. They didn’t seem to suspect anything. “R u excited for ur floor?!” They asked cheerfully.
“Floor door the more war?” It babbled at them.
“Mmmh, no! No war. Just floors!”
“We fall like floor day and night.”
Pest glanced at the doctor, who was shaking her coffee. Once he had her attention, he gave nudging glances at the creature. They both watched it.
“Wat? The floors don’t fall! The elevator does! Or, wait, is this elevator going up..?”
“Up and down and around and gone. Goodnight.”
“Huh? Goodnight? R u tired?”
“Fall asleep dream and dream. B-b-bad.” Its voice cracked and spluttered for a second.
“Ohhh… You should go to sleep. Lotsa u guys aren’t sleeping well 2day!” They nodded at it, getting a weak motion back.
DrRETRO grimaced. “Hiss… (This seems bad…)” She whispered, popping the cap off of her drink. Throwing her head back, she chugged it without another meow.
Pest pulled the drink that he stole out of his pocket. “Store-brand boggle-jetfuel infused chocolate milk… Sounds like trash.”
“Oooh, boggle-jetfuel infused choco milk?! I should get some of that nex time!”
“Now arriving at: Cardboard Mansion.”
As the elevator doors opened, “Zero the way I go for gain.” The flesh cousin hobbled out into the cardboard rooms, twitching and mumbling.
DrRETRO turned to Pest, “Meow, mew? (Can you come get me from the Gumball Machine when you’re going to the party?)”
“Fine. (And you better not leave unless we’re sure she isn’t there.)” He hissed at her in another language. Popping the cap off of his drink, he took a sip. “Bleh. It wouldn’t be bad without the chocolate milk.”
“…Mreow meow? (…Isn’t boggle-jetfuel just jetfuel?)”
“And?”
She stopped and stared for a moment, then shook her head. “Mew. (Stop drinking jetfuel.)”
~~~~~~
“PartyNoob’s Biggest October Bash!
Location: Happy Home Party floor
Time: Starts 5pm Elevator Time, Ends ???
Attire: Party/Casual”
Pest read the details of the invite, glancing at the elevator clock. It was 4:50pm, and he still had to pick DrRETRO up from her floor.
“Do you think they’ll have battery acid at the party?” It wasn’t just him in the elevator- in fact, it was full.
“It’d be totally anti-techcore if they didn’t.” Scag and Prototype seemed excited for the party, questioning what they could and couldn’t do. “They probably will, Poob’s parties are alcoholfilled and sometimes weedmaxxed.”
“Oh, then I’ll make sure to set my fans to high! Even if we’re mechanically incapable of becoming inebriated, I’d rather not be smokey.”
“We should find someone who inventmaxxes and get them to make techcore weed.”
Pest thought about it for a moment. Making something like that would depend on the robot, and require either a lot of floppy discs, computer chips, and various chemicals. “(…Beh, like I’d waste my time making something like that.)” He muttered, glancing at the clock. He still had to pick up DrRETRO.
He checked the pocket of his shirt. Nothing. He checked the other… Nothing. He’d left his floor tickets in his hoodie, which he wasn’t wearing to that party. “…I need a floor ticket. DrRETRO is waiting for me to pick her up.” He said, not directly to anyone, but to everyone in the elevator.
The two robots paused their conversation. “Oh, I’m sorry! I’m using my floor tickets to get us to the party and then back home.” Prototype said sadly.
He glanced at the person next to the two. “…Hm-? Oh!” Pilby, who had been quiet and tucked into the corner the whole time, was surprised at being looked at. “Um, s-sorry, I need my ticket to get back home too…”
“Why do YOU need a FLOOR TICKET?!” Pest was surprised when an erratic woman jumped out from beside him.
“…To get DrRETRO. I just said that.” He spat at Bive, watching her twitch like a crazy person. “(You ARE crazy.)” He mumbled.
“NO! Like I’d let someone like YOU have a FLOOR TICKET! You’d probably take us to that- that FRIGHTENING FLOOR! OR TO THE CLOWNS!” She backed up into the corner, shaking in terror.
“…(Clowns aren’t the scary thing right now.)” He said bluntly, while knowing that nobody but the robots could translate it.
That was a bust for getting floor tickets, but now that he knew who had one, it was going to be much easier. And out of all of them, what was Bive to do about it?
Pest looked up at the corner of the Regretevator, where the elevator camera was installed. Leaning forward, he squinted at it, taking a very close look. Really, all he could see was the blurry reflections of everyone, even blurrier to him.
“…Do you see that?” He glanced at Bive, pointing at the camera, and then hid a smile when he immediately had her attention.
“What? See WHAT?!” She looked up at it, her face scrunching. “It’s a CAMERA! I KNOW WE’RE UNDER SURVEILLANCE! WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT!” She backed up into the corner again.
“No, look closer. Do you see that IN the camera?” He scrunched his nose, and now he had the attention of the rest of the elevator.
“Huh..? Uh…” Pilby looked at the camera, their hands cupped together. “…No..?”
“Affirmative on the lack of anything!” Prototype added.
“…” Bive was looking harder than anyone else, her face going pale with strain.
“You see it?” Pest leaned closer to her. “…There’s EYES in there. Looks like clown eyes.”
“-!” Her face dropped. “AAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAH! AHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAH! AAAAAAHHHHH!!” Screaming like she had nothing to lose, she ran back to the corner, grabbing the elevator railing and shaking it. “THEY’RE HERE! THEY’RE HERE WE’RE NOT SAFE IN THE ELEVATOR WE’RE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE! WE’RE ALL IN THEIR HORRIBLE GLOVES NOW!!” Bunching her knees up to her chest, she dropped, clutching her head.
“…” Leaning down behind her, “Heh.” He picked a holographic ticket from her back pocket, slipping it into the elevator slot before anyone could object.
“C-calm down, Bive-!” Prototype tried to step closer to her, but she wouldn’t stop screaming.
Scag grimaced. “BreakDOWNcore…” Then, she glared at Pest. “FREAKMAXXER!”
He shrugged. “Call me a freak all you want, I don’t care. You’re the talking TV.”
“Please say the name of your destination.” A voice came over the speaker.
“Gumba-“
“AAAAAHHHH!”
“…Gumball-“
“AHHHHHHHH!!”
“Gumball Machine!”
“We will stop at- Gumball Machine- in- two- floors.” It spoke, “Now arriving at: Slide 4 Admin.”
The elevator doors opened, and as soon as they were- “AAAAAHHHHH!” Bive practically threw herself out, and they weren’t sure whether she intentionally went down the slide, or if she couldn’t stop herself in time to prevent it.
“…” Everyone except Pest was horrified. “Why would you… DO that?” Pilby asked, staring down the slide.
“I needed a floor ticket. It’s more important that the doctor and I get to the party over her.” Everyone stared in offense at that statement, and he knew it. But he wouldn’t bother to correct them if they assumed his statement was false. It was better if the commoners of the elevator didn’t know anything more.
After another minute, the elevator doors closed, leaving Bive out of it. Everyone fell into a fearful silence, an uncomfortable air in the elevator, as it continued on its path.
“Now arriving at: Gumball Machine.”
When the doors opened, DrRETRO was clear in sight, carrying a purse instead of a briefcase. “Meow, mew! (Hello, everybody~!)” She meowed as she stepped inside, standing where Bive was before. “…Hiss. (I was wondering when you’d show up.)” She said in a low tone, glaring at Pest.
“(Don’t be so hissy, I didn’t have a floor ticket. Blame the “party or casual attire” for making me leave behind my sweater.)” He looked up at the clock. They had five minutes until the party started, and he took a glance at her outfit. “(Looks like you couldn’t scrape an outfit together either.)”
Her outfit was simple, a knee-length red dress, fishnet tights under it, and a white coat over it that looked similar to her lab coat. In fact, when he looked closer, it WAS just her lab coat. “Mreow mow. Meow! (It’s not like either of us are going to this party for the party, Pest. And you’re not going to find me without medicine on paw!”)
“(Like you don’t have laser eyes? I don’t know why you carry pills and liquids with you. It’s unnecessary.)” Rolling his eyes, he glanced across the elevator.
“Hiss. Meow… Mrrp. (The lasers are a last resort. Some of you seem to find them a little… Weird.)” She sighed, “Mreow, meow. Mew- (And besides, it’s better to be discreet about it around certain crowds. Especially if-)”
“(Stop talking.)” He interrupted her, “(Someone’s listening.)” Discreetly, he motioned at the corner of the room.
She looked over. Prototype had a very focused stare, not looking at anything in particular, and they could all hear a low humming. A few seconds after Pest had spoken, the robot’s eyes widened, their face turning a fusion between embarrassed and anxious.
“…! Mew? (…Oh! The universal translator, hm?)” She said to them, putting a paw on her hip, “Meow mreow, mow. (It’s rude to eavesdrop, sugar.)”
“I’m sorry!” He quickly apologized, “I just happen to have very advanced auditory processing, and my processors start translating spoken language immediately! I promise, I am not retaining any information.”
“(…We’ll talk more later.)” Pest said to the doctor, who nodded.
Pilby, who had long since gone silent, fiddled with the hem of a frilly yet casual dress. “…The party starts in a couple minutes. Should someone queue the floor?” They asked, right as the doors closed, and the elevator started moving again.
“Yes! I can take care of it!” Prototype looked happy to adopt the subject, reaching his hand to the back of his head. “Would you… BZZT- put this into the slot?” He held it out to Pest, who was closest to the buttons.
‘You keep your tickets in your wires?’ He thought. He had no reason to defy that request, taking the ticket and popping it in.
“Please say the name of your destination.” The phrase was going to become VERY annoying.
“Do you wanna say it, Scag?” The robot asked his TV friend.
“Sure.” She accepted, and he held her up. “Happy Home Party.”
“We will stop at- Happy Home Party- in- three- floors.”
“Awesomefilled.”
“Meow? (THREE floors?)” DrRETRO’s face scrunched. “Mew? (What’s queued?)”
Pilby looked confused as well. “Uh… Elevator-!” They yelled for it, getting a ding, “List queue?”
“Upcoming queue is: randomized destination, gm_flatgrass, and Happy Home Party.”
“Oh… Um, the elevator is too full for Wallter to get in.” They looked concerned as the elevator reached its next stop.
“Now arriving at: Drive-thru.”
“That’s unfortunate, he wasted a floor ticket. I hope he’ll still be able to get to the party!” Prototype said, then everyone’s attention was turned to their stop.
“Hello, your total will be $5.98.” Through the elevator door was just a brick wall and a drive-thru window, the worker holding a bag into the elevator.
“…Do I just… take it..? I’ve never been to this stop before.” Pilby hesitantly took the bag, the worker having no objections.
“No, we do not accept Apple Pay.”
“Huh?”
“Meow mreow, mew. (Just go with it, sugar.)” DrRETRO advised them, holding her paw out to take the bag.
“…Oh, woah, you’re our thousandth customer! For that, you get a prize.” The worker ducked behind the window, then into the elevator, he tossed in-
“RED HOT TEDDY!” Prototype yelped as a burning, glowing ball was tossed in, bouncing sporadically around the elevator.
“Enjoy!” The worker said, and the elevator doors closed.
The elevator was immediately in a frenzy. Pilby hopped up onto the railing, grasping to keep their balance, and Pest was struggling to do the same. Prototype had whipped around to face the wall, clutching Scag to his torso as he kneeled down. DrRETRO had dropped down and was shielding her head, digging through her purse.
“Eep-!” The caterpillar squeaked as the teddy touched one of their arms. “Why does this kind of stuff have to happen to us-!?” Immediately, there was a red burn on their arm.
“Meow, hiss! (Don’t panic, I've got it!)” Out of her purse, she pulled a spray bottle. Ripping the top off, she threw it over the burning sphere, extinguishing it.
“…Maybe I need to start carrying a spray bottle with me.” As everyone receded from their self-done coverage, Pilby uttered a shared sentiment.
“Mew mrow! Mrrrp. (Never know when you’ll need a spray! Or when THAT will happen.)” Putting the cap back on the bottle and putting it back into her purse, “Mreow? (Everyone okay?)” She was already stepping around and glancing over everyone.
“I’m finemaxxing. Are you okaycore?” Scag looked up at Prototype. “I’m thanksfilled for the protectionmax.”
“I feel okay!” He smiled as the doctor looked him over.
“Mrrrp, mew. (Your shell has a melty spot, sugar, but I can’t help with that.)” Then, she turned to Pilby.
“I need- yeah…” They didn’t even have to hold out their arm for her to be digging through her lab coat.
“Mreow, mow… (I’ve got aloe somewhere in here, just gotta find it…)”
“Now arriving at: gm_flatgrass.”
Looking out into the vast expanse of that floor, they could see Wallter waiting nearby, perking up when the elevator dinged. “Ah, hello friends! …What has happened here?”
“Red teddy.” Scag said blankly. “Also, we’re fullcore.”
“Oh, dear, are you all on the way to Poob’s party?” He asked, getting nods from everyone. “That was my only extra ticket, hm…”
DrRETRO finished wrapping bandages around Pilby’s arm, soaking up with aloe, and then she walked back to her corner. She picked up and took a look inside of the bag they’d gotten from the drive-thru. “…Mow! Mreow? (…Oh! Will this help?)” Out of the bag, she pulled three holographic floor tickets.
“Well, what a stroke of luck!” He accepted the floor tickets as she passed them out of the elevator. “I’ll see you all at the party, then. I’m sorry about your little incident.”
“Bye, Wallter!” Prototype chirped, watching the elevator doors close again. “…Do you think he knows that Mark will, likely, also be attending this party? Poob called it their biggest bash of the month, after all!”
“It’d be totally awkwardfilled if he is.” Scag rolled her eyes, then smirked. “I’ll be watchmaxxing.”
“Oh, Scag, what am I gonna do with you?” He sighed.
“Mmmm… Bail me out if I do something stupidcore and get troublefilled because we’re bestiemaxxing?”
“Hehe. Yeah.”
“Hm… I hope I can find Split at the party, it’ll be nice to not be there alone.” Pilby thought aloud, fiddling with their dress again. “Actually, she’ll be alone too if Bive isn’t gonna show up…”
“Meow? (Bive’s not showing up?)” DrRETRO asked, “Mreow mew. (She usually goes if Split is.)”
Everyone gave Pest a dirty glare. “Don’t look at me. Who cares? I already said that the doctor and I are more important.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “…Hiss mrrp. (You are gonna tell me what you did as soon as this elevator stops.)”
“Now arriving at: Happy Home Party.”
The elevator doors opened, and Pilby rushed out, followed quickly by Prototype with Scag. All the way from the elevator, they could hear blaring music, and see flashing lights.
“..!” Just as she said, as soon as Pest stepped out of the elevator, the doctor pulled him aside. “Come on. It’s not a big deal.”
“Meow? (What did you even do?)” She asked, looking at the bustling house.
“I needed a floor ticket. I got a floor ticket. That’s all you need to know.”
“Mow. Mreow? (No. What did you do to Bive?)”
“I didn’t DO anything to her.”
“Mew. (Pest.)”
“Doctor.”
“…Meow. Meow mrow. (…Fine. I’ll ask Prototype about it.)”
“It’s better that way.” He stepped away from her. “Are we going into this with any plan?”
“Mreow, mew, meow. Mrrp, mew. Hiss. (You find out where there’s couches, seats, anywhere out of the way that someone could fall asleep at. Someone starts sleeping, watch them. I’d hope you can tell when someone is having a nightmare.)”
“Works for me. What will you be up to?”
“Meow, meow. Mrrrp. (I’ll keep my eyes on Party, and on the party. Come find me if you figure something out, and, please, try to make us seem a little natural.)”
“It’d be less natural for me to be friendly. I’ll take care of my end, you take care of yours.” Pest took a couple steps towards the house, “Let’s get this over with.”
Walking up to the house together, DrRETRO was getting as good of a look around it as possible. “Mreow. Mew mow. (It’s a small place for as many people as Party invites. Seems like the dancing and drinking is only happening in the living room or the backyard.)”
“I’m pretty sure I remember this place having a den or something. I’ll be in there waiting for any drunk idiot to stumble in and then pass out.” Walking up the steps to the house, they stopped one last time.
“Meow, mow. Mrrp, hiss, mew. (If it’s Party themself, maybe don’t let them fall asleep. They told me one time that they only see a bright light if they sleep at home, but sleeping here, we shouldn’t risk it.)”
“Understood.” With that, the two walked in.
Having just started, and being the first elevator in, the party barely had anyone around. It was PartyNoob themself, everyone who came in that elevator, and also those who helped set it up.
“OMG HAI U TWO!!” Party looked both shocked and excited when they stepped through the door. “I dun remember the last time u came to a party, DR!”
“Mew~! (Hello, sugar~!)” DrRETRO put on a pleasant front, “Mreow, mow, meow! (We came here cause we thought, if this is one of your biggest bashes of the year, we should attend it!)”
“I’m so happi! We’re waiting for Mark and Spud to get here, they said they’re taking care of the outdoor set up, so u two can hang in here for now!” They pointed across the room, “Jukebox n speakers r over there bein’ run by Uno, drinks r over there being run by Dos, and I’m here for anything else!”
The doctor nudged her friend. “Meow, mow. (Go find where the couches are, I’ll stay with them.)” She whispered to him, “Meow? (Where’s Tres?)”
Pest took the opportunity to walk off, looking around the room. Split was already there, likely having been part of setting up, and Pilby was already talking to her. Prototype and Scag had found a nice wall to stand by, talking about something that he couldn’t hear, and presumably waiting for more people to show up.
Walking through the first door he saw, it was just what he was looking for. A lowered part of the floor, a coffee table, and three sofas. It was dimly lit, the music barely muffled, but just enough that you could ignore it if you stuffed your head into a cushion.
The perfect place to pass out drunk.
Picking out his phone to pass the time in silence, he stepped up onto the couch, and leaned aside.
To be continued.