Late night cigarette.

by MISHHHAA8

Summary:

What is this? What does summary mean??? 😟

Nikto came back from a mission that went disappointing.
Many where injured but he was fine (physically) but not mentally.

muehehehe 🗣️🔥⁉️⁉️(this is how I sound writing this)
OTHER CHAPTERS WILL BE ADDED!!!

Notes:

Hellooo
This is my first fanfic ever. ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ
English isn't my first language and I make many writing mistakes so please correct me if you find anything!

(I have no clue how tags work someone please help)

My sense of humor can get real bad so don't ask when the characters drop some weird ass jokes💔☹️

It's in Nikto's prospective btw

Chapter 1

Let's say the mission went south, even if it was West, down to the border between kasastan and Usbekistan. The file said it's just a big drug smuggle but it turned out to be worse.

★

The light bulb in Nikto's room was shattered, he broke it with his fist.
The door to the bathroom was open.
There was a big shirt covering the mirror. Preventing nikto from seeing himself.
He stood in front of the sink with his head down.
Nikto doesn't know if he feels ready for the upcoming mission. It was just a drug smuggle, probably a gang or something so he brushed off all the thoughts by side as he took a deep breath.

Everything felt weirdly light for some reason. He walked to his bed and almost tripped over some pile of clothes he left on the floor. He can't keep a room clean for once.

It will be a restless night and Nikto knew it. The voices in his head won't stop overthinking and quickly his head started to ache. *They won't shut up*.

«"Shut up.."»
Nikto whispered to himself as he clenched his jaw. It hurts. The way his fingers dig into his scalp unintentionally.. he just wants quiet for once.
And there he was, in the middle of his dorm aggressively shaking his head, not that it will help with keeping those annoying voice quiet..
Maybe a smoke will help? Maybe..
His room already stank like tobacco. Not that it was his favorite.
It's just..
Nikto don't know if he loved or hated the taste. He can't tell the difference between cigarette brands.
Not that it matters.

He walked to his desk.. a bit sloppy but manageable. Picked up his ballistic mask and screwed it on. He didn't have a smoke, just a bright blue lighter. Maybe he can look if Nikodim or someone has one for him.

★
It was nearly 19:00 o'clock and the sun was still out.
Nikto hated summer. He hated sweating (me too bro me too)
It was just so unfortunate and made his skin crawl.
He ignored that feeling. Of course he does.
He walked though the halls and.. it was surprisingly empty today.? The rookies are probably still out training. He Sees them though the window. Running laps Because they got caught doing meniscus stuff.. at least that what he guessed.

Nikto saw how Syd walked by and waved hello, she was with.. someone he isn't familiar with.
He gave her a nod of acknowledgement as they crossed ways.

He heard some laughter from the balcony as he approached it.
It was Kreuger and Nikodim laughing at some cracky ass jokes while smoking a bunch.
As much as nikto didn't like the noise he still wanted a smoke and sat down on the empty chair in the corner.
The sound of laughter blurring out in his ears as they rang a familiar melody..he calls it melody to make himself feel better.

As always, Kruger was wearing as little clothes as he could, walking around in base with his Adidas sweatpants and two different kind of Crocs, nikto regegnized the pink one as.. Syd's? He knew they where friends and that Kreuger probably stole it since he lost his.
Sounds like something Kreuger would do.

Nikto was deep in thoughts, not knowing that he zoned out and been staring at Kreuger like a brick wall.

«"nikto, want a smoke?"»
Nikodim's voice made him snap out as he looked at his detection, he was ruffling in his jackets pockets a bit before he pulled out a pack of Marlboro's.

Nikto nodded as a thanks when he took a cigarette before he realized he had to take off his mask in order to smoke. Hell nah.

«"don't chicken out we won't look."»
Kreuger's voice ringed in his ears.
He had this stupid stupid, grin on his face that Nikto wanted to punch his fist into.

Yet he didn't. He didn't. Why? No clue but he didn't.

Nikodim just smiled as he bored his elbow into Krueger's rips, making him grunt slightly but the shit eating grin never left his face.

«"I was just joking"»
He assured both nikto and Nikodim while taking a deep inhale of the damn cigarette, might as well eat it whole at this point.
Kreuger's head leaned back as he exhaled the smoke slowly. He closed his eyes as his throat was just... Just...

Nikto couldn't find the words which angered him deeply but he didn't really address it. He hasn't spoken since he arrived.

Nikodim was also just silently enjoying his cigarette. Getting high one last time before going to kasastan.. to check this drug thing.. bla bla.

 

Bla..
He hd the cigarette in his hand with his bright blue lighter, just aimlessly staring at it. The blue looked a lot like his eye colour, wierd comparison but it's true. He doesn't remember from who he got that lighter, it just slipped into his pocket someday and he kept it.

Kreuger looked down to the lighter in Nikto's hands and thought about the same thing.

*«such blue eyes»*
Kreuger though as his eyes closed back shut.
Enjoying the silence. The comfortable silence.

Chapter 2: Late night cigarette.

Summary:

Nikto had already returned to his room. Smoking the cigarette silently.

It's alright midnight and he couldn't close one eye.
His ballistic mask was somewhere on his bed.

....
The small flame that danced on the front of the cigarette was the only light in his room.
It was dark. So darn dark.

He had a terrible dream..

Notes:

I'll update it on the same day since I'm bored and last chapter was SO SHORT.
(⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ
So.. yhr, chapter two here. I'll try to make it longer and more understandable. But it's mostly nikto feeling like he is going crazy.

If I find out how to add images then I'll add a little of art I'll be drawing 😺👌🏼

It was so so dark.
He never really cared about the loneliness before but now he suddenly does.

It feels so cold now. Even if the temperatures outside where hella hot even if it was midnight.
His heart felt cold, all his limps. His lips. Feet, arms.
Not even the warmth of the blankets was helping because he didn't feel anything.

This new found emotion of numbness...it wasn't knew, he experienced it before.. but this felt different... It's.. so..
Nikto can't find the words for it but just so you know it wasn't pleasant.

The butt of the cigarette between his lips as he leaned out of the window. Looking at the night sky.
Everything didn't really feel real anymore. He zoned out.
The wind brushed over his hands and he almost snapped into a flight or fight mode because he thought it was a real person behind him.

Nikto turned around franticly but there was no one. He realized it's just the wind and 'calmed down' but in reality he was still on edge. His breathing was quick and came out in huffs..
The lighter hit the floor finally and he looked down at his numb hand.
That was a sign to go sleep. Probably.
He layed down on his bed and threw the blanket over himself. His feet remained cold. Real cold.

His heart felt cold as well. He grabbed the hem of his shirt, right where his heart was and clenched it. Like he wanted to squeeze his own heart. Just to feel if it was real.
His eyes shot close.

★

His eyes shot Open. His room doesn't feel like his room anymore.
He sat up as his body was so so ready to fight with everything he had.
....

......

....

..

Sand.
Sand?

Nikto was surrounded by nothing by sand. It's so empty and he can't even see the horizon. It's so empty. So so lonely.
Is this supposed to be a reflection of his feelings? If it does then it sucks.

It's just sand. It's nothing.
It is just a dream.

 

just
It
a
is
dream.

 

Nikto felt like his thoughts are floating.

«"what?"»
It came out muffled and weirdly silent.
He was unintentionally whispering.

Nikto felt so . Huh?
out of place

The sand was sinking into him, he was so confused that he didn't notice that his feet where already sunken till his Fibula. His skin scrawled as he tried to wiggle himself out in a panic.
He screamed as he sunk even deeper but luckily still under his knees.
Panic struck even deeper as he felt something under the sand. It's actually crawling into his skin and he yelled in both anger and terror.
It's been a while since he was actually afraid.

He tried to wiggle himself out and yell at the sand that was consuming his body.

His eyes widen even more as his body stiffened so darn bad that he almost fell back.

Nikto was sinking. He was sinking and he wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

His mind isn't registering that it's.. just. A. Dream.

He felt like he is 13 again. Terrified for his life and seeking comfort.. except there was no comfort. No one to relay on.

Yeah, he has people to share a cigarette with, nikodim, Kreuger, Syd.. and.. and.. Golem.. and and.

He snapped out of it.
Sitting up in an instant as his breathing was laboured, panting as he realized he is back in his room. He was sweat bathed and his blanket was on the floor.

It was just a dream.

It was.

was.

It's not real. It's not real.

Nikto clenched his head with his collapsed hands as he dug his fingers into his scalp. He couldn't hear anything besides the constant running..

Peep.
Peep.
Peep.
Peep.
....

It felt like a alarm as he continued to pant and gasp for air.
It was so difficult to do so he just stood up. His head still ringing as he almost collapsed but managed to make it to his desk, leaned into it as he swallowed painkillers raw, he did have water bottle in his room but it's on the other side of the bed. He didn't think about it at all.

 

★

Clock said it's 3:43 in the morning.
It took nikto a whole hour to calm down..
He only slept for roughly two hour. He fell asleep at probably 1:32AM..

Now that he calmed down he took out his cigarette and light it..
Inhaling deeply and letting the nicotine do its job.

 

.....
The whole barracks where silent, not one single sound.

Nothing...
The feeling of loneliness came but got quickly overshadowed by the nicotine.

Notes:

I love writing angst muhehehe 🧔🏼‍♀️

It's also short because I don't know, I normally write long stuff just right now my English is SO BAD..school will start in a week and I will cry 😢💔

Listening to Noel's lement, cool song btw 😺

Chapter 3: Late night Cigarette.

Summary:

It's the night before they would go to the border between kasastan and Usbekistan.
Nikto walks around the barracks in the middle of the night and spots Kreuger sitting on the porch, looking at the night sky and drinking.
This is probably a bad idea. Getting drunk before a mission? Stupid.

★

Notes:

Uhm school just started and I'm Soo stressed and busy, I'm already near my exams, bro I can't believe I'll be graduating from Highschool in like half a year.
WHATT 😭😭
I'm so proud of myself that I made it this far literally, even if it drained me so darn much.
I'm still kind of getting bullied which adds to the stress.
AHH I'm venting my bad LMAO
anyway enjoy 😽🫶🏼

Nikto walked around.
To clear his head.
He knew no other bastard would be out in the middle of the night.
I mean it's likely but not before a mission.

The mask felt wierd on his face yet so familiar. It's like, the mask is one with his skin. Which made chills run down his spine.
Is that supposed to be good or not? Nikto missed his face. Before the distinction, before that mission that ruined him mentally and physically. He must admit.. he misses it. He missed to look in the mirror rather then cover it with a cloth or smashed it with his fist.
His knuckles always feel limp, so bloody, it hurts but overtime he because numb to that feeling. Everytime Nikolai repaired the light bulb in his room he smashed it and after some time Nikolai wouldn't repair it anymore.

The operator looked down at his collapsed hands. He didn't wear gloves and the wind brushed against his skin like ocean waves hit the shore over and over again.
He liked the ocean but it's been a while since he visited one.
Such a shame.

Nikto walked though the halls, not really knowing where he is walking to but just letting his feet take him somewhere.
He walked to the backdoor and noticed it was open.
Shit cold outside.
The Russian immediately regegnized the exposed back as Krueger's, who else is crazy enough to walk around with no shirt with such freezing weather?

Kreuger didn't turn around and just looked up and nikto stopped right behind him.
His boots almost brushing against the Australians back.

Nikto looked down at him, meeting his gaze and Kreuger looked up as he was crouched down on the stairs with cheep beer in his hand.

He grind. His teeth. His smile lines. His eyes. His... Where is this going?
Nikto what are you thinking?

«"you up big guy?"»
Kreuger chuckled as he looked straight ahead again and pat the place next to him. Motioning Nikto to Sit beside him.

Nikto hesitated for a bit. Just silently standing there before he slowly moved to sit down next to him.

The silence was surprisingly comfortable.
Kreuger handed nikto his beer bottle.
His fingers brushing against his not gloved ones, it made Nikto's skin crawl since he is only used to wearing his gloves 24/7.

Nikto 'happily' look it and stared at it for a while. Kreuger looked away. Respecting his privacy.
This felt weirdly out of character which means he will do something really 'kreuger' to make it up.
He is an asshole and proud of it but sometimes he knows when not to draw a line.

Nikto unscrewed the lower part of his ballistic mask and lifted the Balaclava who was underneath to reveal his dehydrated lips. Yet Kreuger didn't look, he was fighting inner demons not to even catch a glance since he didn't wanna end up with a mid night ass whooping.
The taste of cheep Beer hit his tongue. It tasted really bad but he gotta drink what he gets. It's how LIFE works. How the fuck is Kreuger drinking this geez?

«"tastes like shit."»
Nikto addressed as he wiped his mouth with the backside of his hand and shoved it right back into Kreugers grip.

Kreuger chuckled.
«"My bad. What do you prefer more?"»
He asked sarcasticly as he took another shot. The grin on his face getting shined on by the moon light. Such gorgeous features.
Wait what.

Nikto flinched a bit and felt immediately uncomfortable at the feeling and thought.
He needs to concentrate.

Meanwhile Kreuger was having the time of his life and just chugging down the rest of the beer like his life depended in it and Nikto just stared.
He stared and stared.
And stared.
At his eyes, they way they closed as he took that big sip. His Adams apple.
His throat. Wait isn't that the same?
Nikto felt like he is having a fever, was he having one? It's not possible. It's its so cold outside yet his hands felt warm and so his face.
His eyebrows lowered in an almost angry manner yet he didn't feel angry.
Nikto felt so uncomfortable. So darn uncomfortable and he didn't know why.

The silence between them was casual for Kreuger yet Unpleasant for Nikto but he didn't want him to talk either.

It broke when Kreuger swung the empty bottle in his hand, taking a deep breath as he flinched a bit, too much alcohol in his system yet he didn't feel drunk. Just lightheaded in a good way.

«"we should hed to sleep nikto. Get good rest for tomorrows travel."»
Kreuger said with a slight hiccup as he used Nikto's shoulder for support so he can stand up.
Usually Nikto would almost instantly swing hands but he didn't. His fingers didn't twitch for his combat knife. It felt casually and it almost angered him but he stood up anyway.

«"alright."»
Is all he could say as he looked at Kreuger fixing his Adidas pants to not slip down his hips.
The where loose which made nikto even more irritated yet he didn't address it as they both casually walked back to their barracks.

Kreuger waved him goodbye and told him to have a good night and sweet dreams.
What. Is he that tipsy? I mean he did chug down a whole bottle of beer down his throat just minutes ago.

Before Nikto even knew it. He was laying in his bed, his ballistic mask on the nightstand in arms reach.
Goodnight and sweet dreams. Yeah.

Yeah.

Sweet dreams.
And just like that nikto slept. Actually slept his eyes feeling heavy..and he slept. It's been a while since he slept just like that. Usually he would just stay in bed and couldn't close and eye but now.

Goodnight and sweet dreams.

 

Nikto woke up. And suddenly he was back with Kreuger on the stairs.
He wasn't wearing his mask, nor did Kreuger which is realistic for him not too since he walked around half naked most of the time.

Nikto looked down at his hands. Who where resting on his thighs while a cigarette was between his lips.
He was hesitant yet still took a glance at supposed Kreuger.
He was smoking as well, leaned back and smiling before his eyes moved to look at nikto.

They eye contact almost, almost made him uncomfortable but he got lost in these brown eyes. Reminded him of stamps of threes or something like cinnamon. It's so pretty.
What is this? What does this mean?

Is that what Kreuger ment with sweet dreams? The reminder that his eye colour looked like cinnamon?
What?

Nikto felt lightheaded like it's the first time he ever smoked weed. Except this felt more them weed. He felt high on something that he couldn't describe and it was starting to bug him and made him angry that he didn't really know what to do with it.

He didn't know what to do with himself. Drugs felt good but this felt better yet he can't figure out what it is?
He felt stupid, not only can't he tell the difference between Cigarette brands but now his feelings.

He felt disgusted, in his head at least because he couldn't figure it out. He just couldn't.

 

Nikto felt rage but it vanished the second he noticed Kreuger staring at him with something in his eyes.
The spark in his eyes as smiled, no grinned with a cigarette between his lips.

 

Then. Nikto woke up.
Not sweat bathed but just washed with confusion.

Sweet dreams he said.

Notes:

I purposely made nikto unaware what Is happening muehehehhe 🐦‍🔥🐦‍🔥🐦‍🔥🐦‍🔥💥🔥💥💥💥🔥💥💥🔥🔥💥💥💥🔥🔥
MUEHEHHEHE🔥🔥🔥💥🐦‍🔥🫵🏼💥🔥🐦‍🔥🐦‍🔥💥🔥🔥🙀

 

I feel like this is still short but my hands are shaking and it's almost midnight soooo ☹️☹️

Chapter 4

Summary:

It's the day of the quick mission between the border between kasastan and Usbekistan.

Nikto was still wierded out by his dream and absolutely disgusted and he himself didn't know why.
He couldn't look at Kreuger the same anymore since he started to notice so many small details that he has never seen before.

And he fucking hated it.

Notes:

stop it denial is a river in Egypt, nikto is GAY.
He is head over heels but too stupid to realize that.
Misunderstanding it as something Friendly or just Kreuger playing with his mind.

Btw sorry I couldn't post I was in the hospital 😽🫶🏼🫶🏼.
My Doctor said I may or may not have depression uhhh 😟..

Its already 6AM and nikto is hooked since all he could think of was Kreuger.
He normally has nightmares.. so why did it change to Krueger's face? Was he the nightmare? Is this some kind of warning? Is something going to happen to him? Nikto didn't know.

He just jumped out of his bed since he can't be late for the meeting with the rest of the squad.

Nikto wore his jumpsuit as always since he always does. Not really liking to show skin for obvious reasons.
The ballistic mask was already screwed on his face since it's the first thing he wore when he woke up.
He checked all his gear just quickly before he got out of the barracks to the Meeting room.
Nobody was around which was weird..

The meeting room was completely quiet and empty. They are all in the cafeteria for breakfast.. oh he forgot to eat and just like that. Just like that he zoned out and stood in the middle of the meeting room in complete silence.

It's been a few minutes before he snapped out of it as he heard familiar footsteps. Kreuger's. He won't admit that he knew everyone by their footsteps, They will probably call him weird.

 

«"morning."»
Kreuger greeted as he loudly munched on his sandwich.
It was annoying. Yet nikto's eyes instantly fell on his face. his light stubble on his jawline and the crumbs around his mouth.

Nikto was silent as he intensely stared before he realized he hasn't answered yet.
«"Morning."»
He said with a nod and Kreuger just smirked while He smacked his lips as if he had no manners which annoyed Nikto. so. darn. much.
«"stop eating like that."»
Nikto said as he stood in front of Kreuger.

«"no"»
Kreuger shot back with a straight face yet there was a hit of mischief in his eyes.
Cinnamon brown eyes. So pretty.
Nikto got lost Again. He can't keep distracting himself like that. It's not suited for his job.

There was this uncomfortable silence as Kreuger didn't stop before he took out a nother freshly wrapped sandwich out of his pocket and shoved it into his hands.

Nikto wasn't surprised since Kreuger does that sometimes to make up for the times he was an ass to him so he gladly took it.

«"Nikto. Your so darn unhealthy if you keep skipping meals you know?"»
A nother voice came from behind him and he recognized it as Nikodim's.
Syd was just standing next to him and drinking a Capri sun while tapping on her phone.

Niko signed and sat down on the chair in front of the big table in the middle of the room and eventually, everyone took a seat too and eating their so called 'breakfast'.

★

And before nikto knew it he was in the helicopter and flying to their destination. It was just a simple drug smuggle, really nothing minor, he did such missions more then he can count.
It took a few hours and they landed a bit far away from their actual point.
Kreuger insisted on taking the lead and everyone went with it just like that. We're ignoring ranks now? Nikto didn't complain as he was right behind him.
Nikodim for third and Syd for last.

It didn't take them long. The reached third destination yet there was not one singular soul to spot.
Nikto though it was weird but they investigated anyway.
There where a few cars but nobody was in them. Completely empty.

Kreuger looked to his left. An Open field and a few suspicious looking Trucks.

«"look out for landmines"»
Syd warned the squad as she looked at the open field.

«"ja."» (yes)
«"lets split up. Me and nikto going for the trucks and y'all look in the cars. Maybe we will find out when is happening here."»
Kreuger nodded as he motioned for nikto to follow which he did.

Nikto made sure to look at the ground carefully just in case of landmines like Syd said but there was absolutely nothing which added to the suspicion.

Kreuger walked with nikto the the trucks who where parked at the end of the open field.
It really took then Fivteen whole minutes just to get there.

«"let's unbox whatever is in these trucks."»
Kreuger said like he is going and unboxing YouTube video of stuff he just ordered off whatever.
He chuckled a bit at his own words but quickly turned into serious as he realized the truck doors are already Open.

They where checking the back. Do many boxes.
«"Cristal meth?"»
Nikto said as he looked at whats inside of the box and Kreuger almost broke his neck.
Not surprised.

«" this is suspicious. Why would they leave this behind?"»
Nikto blunted out as he looked at Kreuger who is inspecting the Cristal meth.
«"want a sniff big boy?"»
Kreuger joked as he smirked before closed the box and looked a bit around the truck.
Nikto rolled his eyes.
«"this is serious."»

Kreuger didn't say anything for a while before he walked out of the back of the truck and started to inspect the outside of something suspicious. They must have left anything ANYTHING behind..

Nikto looked at the wheels and the more he looked the weirder they got which considered him just slightly.
A red dot. Blinking.
The moment nikto realized is the moment he yelled at Kreuger to get the fuck away from the truck and Kreuger immediately did that since he got it too.

But it was too late. Kreuger was a few feet away and the whole truck just exploded. Leaving him flying. Both nikto and Kreuger but krugs got it harder since he was near it more.

 

Everything got white and his vision was wierd. His body went numb yet he felt himself hit the floor.
The second he caught his consciousness is the second he stood up and looked for Kreuger.
Even if he could hear anything since his ears are just ringing.

Syd and nikodim who are at the other side noticed the explosion too and made their way to investigate and check up on their teammates.

 

The last thing Nikto remembers is yelling Kreuger's, no Sebastians Name to try to find him, to get him to respond yet there was nothing. His vision was too blurry to make out anything.

Sebastian. Oh Sebastian.

Notes:

Wait I accidentally posted it but this chapter isn't finished 😭😔????
Anyway it's alright I'ma just leave it like dat

Chapter 5

Summary:

Sebastian?
Sebastian..?

Notes:

The AO3 curse is true wf. My mental health is getting worse and Physically too. I was in the hospital and am still kind of sick.
But it's okey I am finally updating this chapter muehe 💪🏼
Gotta stay strong RAAAHHHH

Btw guys don't mind my bad Russian 😸 I'm trying plus like I got some help from a translator.
I'm still learning 🫶🏼
This will probably be even shorter because my wrist is still hurting 😭

«"ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ, СЕБАСТЬЯН, ГДЕ ТЫ? "»
(DAMN IT SEBASTIAN, WHERE ARE YOU?)
Was the last thing he could yell before his vision went black his body just collapsed.
Adrenalin was so powerful, a moment he was yelling his Teammates name after he got send flying and the other he is laying motionless on the green grass.

Nikto could hear his own breathing— panting, grasping for air while he heard Nikodim and Syd. He couldn't tell what is happening. All he could think of is Sebastian.

★
It smelled nice here. So clean and and and.. something else but he knew it smelled nice.
He was no longer on the hard, dirty floor. He was in a bed. White sheets and a constantly piping monitor.
Oh it's the hospital.
No wonder it all felt so clean. It was the right volume too.
Not too loud and not too quiet.

He could hear his own breathing because he had this.. what's is called? Breathing machine? Good enough.
Nikto's arms kinda hurt, not too much. Couldn't tell how much injured he is. Kinda hard to tell. Probably because of the amount of painkillers the nurses shoved down his throat.
He is no stranger to pain and he hated how limp he felt. Like he is trapped in his own body. Sucks.
Knowing himself- he'd probably threaten the nurses to not give him too many meds. He hated feeling numb. Made nikto feel Weak. Like he is Seventy or something.. I mean he is old but but THAT old.

But where is Kreuger? Is he alright?

—ill ask the nurse when she comes in—
He thought as he tried to sharpen his vision but everything was still froggy and blurred.

Maybe he needs to take a little.. little nap. Yeah.

Just like that he 'went to sleep' even though he knew it's just the meds making him tired.

★

It's been a while but Nikto woke up eventually. There was this unknown weigh next to his hips and he opened his eyes to find Nikodim there.
He came to visit.

«"Hey nikto."»
Nikodim said a little too warmly. Nikto knew that the Younger Russian can get real emotional sometimes, he is a human after all. He feels human emotions.
Nikodim is just naturally caring and worries a lot about everyone on the team.
His voice had a bittersweet tone. So much worry. Nikto always thought nobody would ever miss him with he is gone but he is very unsure. He seem to care.

Nikto looked at him. He felt like his voice is gone but he coughed a little and his voice was back. Probably just sore.
«"good morning."»
Nikto answered. Not knowing the time but it felt like morning, so might as well say it.

«"it's noon, silly."»
Nikodim chuckled silently before adding.
«"do you feel better?"»

Awesome?. Nikto was silent as his gaze wandered to the window. Oh it's really noon. Taking his time to answer. Does he feel better?
«"...."»
«"Да"» (yes)
He didn't know if he was lying to himself but he rather do that then lie to Nikodim.
A moment of complete silence before Nikto started to question Kreuger's state.
«"how's Sebastian?"»

Nikodim nodded while talking.
«"he's fine, Syd is by his side, yk only one person can visit a patient. One at the time."»
He explained.
It was obvious though. They will switch and Syd will visit Nikto while the young Russian is visiting Krugs.
It's comforting to hear to be honest.

«"I'm glad."»
Nikto nodded slightly as he took a deep breath.

★
After Syd visited he was alone again. He wanted to go to Kreuger himself but he bearly could move his legs. He has sprained his ligaments and must be off for at least two weeks, in which case he must not move his leg.
At first it really, really hurt. He couldn't see Kreuger and Kreuger couldn't see him but from what he heard from Syd, Nikodim and not to forget the nurses— he is fine they say.

Not to mention that Nikto knew he is way to stubborn to die, he is lucky. He 'just' has some minor injuries, yet he also had a big burn scar on his back.

Nikto is glad. He himself is recovering fastly as well yet he still isn't allowed to leave his bed.

Did he say how shit the food here is? Yet he couldn't complain— he will just eat whatever the nurses give him because he had to.
And live goes on.

Nikto made Nikodim bring him his note book and he spent his free time drawing, it's a 'hobby' he has. Not hobby but he uses it to pass time since what is he supposed to do in his free time?

Nikto unintentionally started to draw Kreuger's face.
He didn't mind and is slightly surprised how much detail is planted inside his head. He knew him from memory.

Notes:

Mein Gott mein arm tut so weh ich trage so eine Last auf meinen Schultern, digga ich sterbe ich will nicht mehr so leben und ich weiß das ich es nicht andern kann was mich so krass nervt.
Es wird immer schlimmer und meine Augen tuen so weh langsam.
Schule ist so scheiße, ich will nicht zurück.

Ignore this I'm being silly 🐬🐬💜💜💪🏼🥳🦚🦚💥🐦‍🔥🐦‍🔥🐦‍🔥💥🐦‍🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🐦‍🔥💥🎈🐦‍🔥🎈🎈🎉🎉🩷🔥🐦‍🔥💥🔥💜💜

Chapter 6

Summary:

Nikto is finally allowed to walk, well not actually but he needed the support of clutches.
Yet he refused to use both clutches on each side, too many sweats.
Plus he can now finally go visit His Sebastian. He'd rather slap himself across the face then admit it out loud.
He was a little.. little - tiny- small bit worried about Sebastian.
So much about worrying.

Notes:

Yo guys, I hope you missed me cuz I'm updating again. I couldn't post for a while bc I lost my account password and had to guess it back while took me a little while but it's kind my fault 😔.. youuchh
I will add a little bit of fluff but not physically just emotional, it's a little early for Physical. But it will come soon 👩🏻‍🦯..

It's been two weeks and Nikto is finally allowed to at least walk around.
Yet he had a hard time adapting to using crutches as support but he knew he didn't have to since he will be using them for a short time. They are just there to get him into walking cuz his legs must be numb from the lack of movement.

Not to mention he's been drawing like crazy, he'd zone out and drawing Sebastians face over and over again, he even memorized how many freckles he had. So funny— probably just his photogenic mind right?
How funny.. haha.

★

6:44 AM.
Nikto wide awake and staring into nothing before he sat up and got his crutches. Surprisingly a good weapon.
—"time to check on Sebastian."—
Is all he thought before he silently made it to his door, making sure there is nobody in sight before walking out.
It's pretty obvious that Krueger is still sleeping by now but Nikto just needed to see his face and he will be satisfied for the rest of the day.
The woman on the reception fell asleep as he just sneak by her and checked the list , to see in which room Krueger is sleeping in.

Third floor, room 8.
Niktos eyebrows lowered, why so far away from him? He is in the First floor?

A little complaining later and he was in the elevator— stepping out and looking for room 8.

★

It wasn't that hard and he entered Krueger's room in silence.
He was sleeping on the bed and snoring lightly, you couldn't even hear it due to the peeping of some monitors— he had honestly no idea what they are but that doesn't matter as long as they help Sebastian.

His Krueger had one leg out of the blanket, wearing just those hospital gowns who are open from behind, luckily— Krueger was sleeping on his back so all good.
To be honest, Nikto doesn't remember that they where this short, it was right up his knees.
Krueger is known for shedding off clothes and walking half nacked all the time but this felt more valuable and ... Weird.
Why is he even commenting on it to be honest? Let's forget it.
As long as Nikto remembers he isn't a pervert.
He gently took the covers and tucked kreuger in while sitting on a chair near the bed.

Sebastians room was a lot colder then his and he pretty quietly figured out why, they windows where Opened which is stupid since it's almost Winter— it's freaking cold.

★

It was silent and Nikto was gentle resting his hand on Kreugers, looking at his bruises fingers. If Sebastian saw him then he'd probably use it against him for life.
And he did.
He was awake but tried to act like he is asleep to get a little more very rare 'affection' from Nikto.

He eventually broke character and cracked a smile, it's all Nikto needed as he let go and gave him an angry glare. «"good morning Nik."»
Sebastian said in a groggy tone as he rubbed his eyes.
**"Missed me?"**
He added as he rested his hands on his stomach while grinning.

Nikto was silent for a while before asking.
«"Hows your back?"»

«" its decent, sometimes."»
Krueger knew not to provoke Nikto after he stepped out of his comfort zone and actually did something, deep inside- he is really really happy and excited but he'd feel pathetic if he said that out loud.

Nikto just nodded along lightly before just sitting in awkward silence for a moment.
Now that nikto finally saw that Sebastian is in good shape and still has all his limps— he can rest..
Such a relief.

★

It's been silent for the whole time, they just enjoying each others company before Sebastian gently guided his hand to his stomach and started to fidgets with his fingers.. and nikto didn't do anything about it. Bingo. Sebastian felt like he won the lottery and more. Being injured is a good excuse to be a little clingy, just blame it on the medicine and life goes on.
Pretty easy, 110% recommended.

And that's how the day went by till one of the nurses Noticed Nikto was missing from his room and brought him back to his hospital bed.

What a day.
Nikto had to admit he didn't hate what Sebastian did as much as he showed, it was actually pretty comforting in a way.

★

Sebastian you silly goose, always getting away with whatever you do, and you know it.

Notes:

To be honest, my writing is really bad but 😔 but but but like but like I just do this because IDfk I'm just bored and I'd rather write fanfic then do homework sooo 👩🏻‍🦯

See you soon, I have like school in two days and I don't wanna go ☹️✴️

Goodnight by the way, es ist fast Mitternacht bei mir Bro

Chapter 7

Summary:

Its been a two weeks and Nikto and his Sebastian left the Safe net of the Hospital.
Back to base.
Both of them were on medical break which resulted in them doing Paperwork only for the next few weeks.

Sebastian used this to his advantage to get a little closer to Nikto, maybe speak about what happened.
Maybe.. get to know each other a little better when thought they where rather good .. friends..
Nicknames isn't something for Nikto that's for sure yet Sebastian caught him.

Notes:

Uh this is awkward, 😣 sorry for disappearing for half a year, I graduated highschool and I was Top 1 student, 😝 yet my biggest flaw is that I still it's not enough I need to get a Only 1 (A) Certificate , I have a three in math and I'm not coping very good.

Anyway Enjoy!!
😊

Nikto no longer has to listen to the annoying beeps of the Monitors anymore,
he doesn't need to walk around in that Hospital gown that made his skin itch, the white tiles on the floor that made clicking noises whenever you walked on them.. nor that Psych- ward feeling or that chemic smell.
It's been surprisingly quiet, not the type of quiet where he feels like someone is constantly watching him nor the type of silence that screamed..
It was comfortable, like he finally relaxed when he was back at Base, the familiar tones and probably the fact that Sebastian was alive.
He never thought he would ever miss that awkward humor of his.
That overgrown buzz cut that stuck in every single direction possible.

★

Nikto's office was empty, Ikea furniture with little to no decorations... Well if u call the mess Sebastian left Everytime he decides to visit decorations.
Well it certainly left Sebastian's touch to his day to day life .
Nikto had zoned out again, just lost in thoughts before he realized the Russian radio that was playing lightly in the background , it was playing Sebastian's semi- favorite song.

Perfect timing because Sebastian walking in casually like he owned the place.

"Hallo Comrade."
Sebastian said a little dry as he made himself comfortable on the Sofa that looked ancient.

Nikto didn't look up, just continued to fill out paperwork.. the boring stuff.

"Did you finish the report like I told you to?"
He questioned as he subconsciously started to type his thoughts instead of what he's supposed to do.

Sebastian rolled his eyes when he thought nikto wasn't looking before sighing.
"Nikki I'm sick, can't the report wait?"
He asked, trying to lead the conversation but it was drier than Mercury itself.
Kruger came here to be distracted a little, boring out of his mind and in to much pain to actually do anything.
The slight burn marks on his back sometimes itched really badly but he couldn't scratch it, that's the real torture.

 

Nikto on the other hand stopped typing, concentrating on the Russian radio in the background, it was so nostalgic, so familiar. He was feeling just slightly home sick but he doesn't even remember if he has a family.

"Nikki"
Sebastian interrupted walking up to nikto and standing in front of the desk like an awkward teen..
Sometimes he does act like that.
"My back itches, can u put some of that cream on it? I brought it with me."
Sebastian knew he could do it himself but he just wanted to be touched perhaps..

Nikto looked at him. Not surprised by his request... Or rather demand.

And there was the silence again. The comfortable one..
Sebastian pulled his shirt up and threw it on his lap, sitting on the floor while nikto slowly approached him from the back and kneeled down.
Sebastian just handed him the bottle, it was Purple with a text he couldn't read, German product? Most likely.

He sighed heavily as he pulled his gloves off and put them by side before he applied some of the cream on his Palm.
It's very cold. Sebastian probably won't like it.

"It's Cold."
Nikto warned .
The minimum dialogue between them made Sebastian sick and annoyed, he wanted to have a full conversation with him.. like one that didn't feel dry.

"I know. I don't like the burning though."
Sebastian shrugged, playing with his dangling dog tag around his neck. Pulling it to his lips and just kind of resting it against his chin, it's a harmless habit Nikto noticed over time.

He had many Moles on his lower back, back dips too. Nikto liked how there were two holes on his lower back, it looked silly and he wanted to touch it yet Nikto knew better.
The Palm of hand was slowly brushing against his shoulder blades as he gently — well if his damaged fingers can be labeled 'gentle '— over his scars, they weren't spectacular big, just a small patch, probably as big as his left Palm.
The skin felt slightly uneven and bumpy but it felt familiar, almost like half of Nikto's face. As an educated person would know you don't exactly like a Supermodel after someone poured Asid on half your face.

"Your hands are gentle."
Sebastian said, .. well more whispered to himself. Nikto was to focused on his shoulder blades and the faint radio noises in the background...

Notes:

Please if u find any Grammar tahts wrong tell me!! It's important so I don't embarrass myself even further 😣😛

Goodnight Yolo

Chapter 8

Summary:

Niktos feet are not cold anymore

Notes:

finally im adding actual fluff chat this time im locking in yoöo

School will start in a week, new school new classmates 🫩
It's 20;53 uhr bruh

It was slowly getting darker and Sebastian was quiet in Niktos office.
Both of them sitting on the floor while Nikto slowly rubber the cream into Sebastian's aching muscles.
This rim awkward for Nikto but Sebastian seemed a little slower and briskly unaware. He just wanted Nikto to speak to him, Sebastian is as equality lonely but he suppressed it with alcohol or just being an asshole.

Nikto slowly let go of Sebastian, the texture of the soothing cream made him cringe, he hated the feeling of it but he kept it up for Sebastian's sake.

★

Sebastian didn't fully turn around, well only turning his head slightly to the side to briefly have eye contact with Nikto.
The silence is slowly starting to get on Sebastian's nerves so he spoke up without thinking about how he sounded like.
《" Nikto, speak to me."》
Sebastian held the eye contact just for a little while longer before he turned his head away again.

Nikto on the other hand stood up, just towering over Sebastian's sitting figure.
Sebastian wasn't short, that's for sure but next to Nikto he looked like a dwarf.
Sebastian was 5'10 and Nikto was 6'4.
Sometimes Sebastian was envied Nikto for his hight and muscle mass, his biceps are huge.
So it was almost natural for Sebastian to be just slightly jealous.
Nikto bend over and grabbed Sebastian by both of his biceps- forearms and just pulled him to his feet.

《" auvh!"》 Sebastian groaned slightly, it was unexpected and nikto might have grabbed his sore muscles too harshly.
He turned around to face Nikto, disappointed that he hasn't spoken to him.

《" dramatic "》
Niktos voice was calm and deeper, a little rougher than Sebastian's as he just turned to the Russian radio that may or may not may not survive both world wars and the Soviet Union. It looked very old and Sometimes Sebastian has to punch it a bit for it to work.
A familiar Russian song came on. It was very calm, the type of music you fell asleep to.

Sebastian just listened to the familiar tune before he laid down on his stomach on the worn out couch in the corner of Niktos office.
He stared at Nikto before he spoke up but chickened out when Nikto spoke.

《"You didn't write the report like I requested you to do."》

Nikto spoke up as he opened the window, watching the sunset. Various shades of red, orange, yellow shining against his ballistic mask.
This felt like friendship, the fact that Sebastian hasn't left and the fact that Nikto hasn't kicked his ass out.
Is this what they call a mutual connection?
Nikto thinks Sebastian is being suspiciously not suffocating like usual.
And he found out pretty quickly the second kruger spoke up.

《" Nik. I'll sleep here."》
No, it wasn't 'Can I crash at your place?' It wasn't a question, he will do whatever to stay here. There is no other option.
Sebastian has already spread out his limbs on the small couch. Like a starfish

Nikto didn't deny it. He just refused. Sleepover it is

Nikto walked back to the ancient radio and turned it off, put it under his arm and nudged Sebastian with his foot.
《"Move."》
Sebastian groaned as he picked up a random shirt that was laying on the stand besides the couch and put it on. Niktos won't mind if he borrowed some clothes. It was loose on kreugers frame but it was comfortable, it smelled so strongly of Nikto that Sebastian almost got too annoyed. That shirt was probably not washed.

Sebastian flicked the light off as Nikto lightly shoved him out of the way, not in the harsh way. Just 'gentle' enough to let Sebastian know that he is not entendig to hurt him.

They both walked back to Niktos private Room. It was big enough for a person like Nikto.
A bed in the corner, his Wodrobe had a suspicious amount of the Austrians clothes. Sometimes Sebastian kept his tactical kit in Niktos closet. This just happened over time, neither of them intended to do that but they never talked about it. There was this light smell of coffee lingering around as the click of the door was heard but wasn't acknowledged by him.
Nikto put the radio down as he walked into the bathroom that was attached to his room. Those are luxuries that come with his rank. Sebastian for example had to use the communal showers which was slightly embarrassing. He had no privacy.

The light didn't work and the mirror was shattered, it didn't bother kreuger. He just stood there before he called out for Nikto.
《" Nikto. I want to shower."》
He said like he owned the place, his ego is taller than him in tactical shoes.

《" too demanding, no."》
Nikto answered as he washed his hands and took off his mask. laid it on the shelf by the sink.
It's not like Nikto never showed his face to anyone before, everybody knew how he looked like, he isn't an insecure teenage boy. Yes. He's disgusted with himself but there are occasions where he would actually walk around without his mask.

Kreuger took a glance, he missed seeing his face so when nikto casually took it off, he felt special. Just a little warmer as he answered.
《" Nikto can I shower?"》
He asked, too stubborn to say Please but Nikto folded and nodded as he walked out the bathroom to let Sebastian in.
《" don't use all the warm water."》

Sebastian smiled. Not grinned. Smiled.
The side of his eyes slightly wrinkling as he tapped nikto on his shoulder while passing him.

★

It's been twenty something minutes and Nikto was laying in his bed and listening to kreuger in the shower, well that's until the water stopped and the silence consumed his brain.
He heard shuffling behind the thin walls till the door opened and Sebastian walked out, his overgrown buzzxut wet and sticking to his forehead. He was wearing shorts and a familiar shirt nikto swore he brought a week ago. Well it doesn't matter anymore. Nikto sat up as Sebastian kneeled down next to the bed with his front facing away. Nikto didn't even queit as he started to dry his hair. Act of.. affection. He was trying to gently scrub his scalp. Unlike the way he would dig his own fingernails into his head. He wouldn't forgive himself if he ever hurt Sebastian. This went on till Sebastian's hair was dry enough for him to lay down. They don't usually sleep in the same bed but this was acceptable for both of them. Sleepovers at their grown age

Notes:

I got lazy 😛 but I promise they will kiss next chapter i leid its 21:16 now 💔💔

Chapter 9

Summary:

Sleepover in niktos room

Notes:

My sister snapped at me and told me, yesh your always be miserable, just buy friends. That's what you want? So harshly I just felt the shiver down my spine.
It was a many weeks ago.

I was at a friend's sleepover and she was like very rich but still complained, she had a house. A room for herself, beauty, a warm household.
I came home and told my mom how sad I felt because I didn't have what she has and then my mom who was sitting next to me told me she is ''Happy' and I chuckeled and told her she doesn't need to lie, we are alone here and then my Aunt snapped and said with a harsh tone that I will NEVER have anything because I am never satisfied with what I have. I feel like shit. Because I don't know how to feel, don't know how to make it better, my life is a problem after another, she is right, I'm never satisfied, I can ONLY WISH for what my friend has, but that brings me back to my aunts point,
I will never have what I want. Not even if I worked hard, its unfair but that is just my life I have to suck it up or kill myself
She is right, I don't deserve nice things

This will be a bit bland, like always, i only write fiction when I feel sad, ugly or just useless

Having a warm body next to nikto felt weird, new. Kreuger slept over on many occasions but never so near him, never in his bed who suddenly felt to small.
Definitely not used to the weight next to his troso.
The gently breathing., he could tell Kreuger isn't asleep, just laying there.
Neither of them wanting to speak and ruin their alone time.

Everytime Kreuger wanted to be alone, he wanted to be alone with nikto. Something about his gruff voice, the rough cold skin, made him feel something weird deep down in his stomach... maybe its all the Brezel he ate during Lunchtime... or just maybe it was Nikto. Just him.
Maybe its when Niktos hands don't immediately flinch to his pocket knife when kreuger touches him unexpectedly.
Maybe its Niktos room who has Kreugers stuff scattered around,
He called his mess Decorative.

This is weirdly poetic for Sebastian. He liked it a lot but he's a little unsure if Nikto thought the same.

 

Niktos mask was unscrewed and laying with in arms reach.
It's not like Sebastian never saw his face, he knew it, he memorised it. Just in case.

《" I can't sleep. "》
Sebastian said as he sat up and turned towards nikto who was laying falt on the bed. Trying to give Sebastian space but it as difficult to share a twin sized bed with a northern grown man.
Sebastian rested his back against the concrete wall as his legs just laid over niktos thighs. He didn't seem to mind.

《" what do you want me to do ?"》 Nikto questioned as he felt the alien weight on his thighs.
It was quiet for a very awkward amount of time before Sebastian took a deep breath before reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing Niktos notebook.
Nikto just calmly snatched it from his hands before he reminded Kreuger.
《" Carefull, don't touch that."》
Kreuger just scoffed and crossed his arms.

He had way to much energy that he needs to get rid of. He really wants to sleep tonight.
Kreuger laid back down now resting his head on niktos biceps. Just hard muscle underneath but that's how he liked it.
His legs still on Niktos body. He seemed way to comfortable right now and Nikto didn't know if it made him uncomfortable or annoyed.

He couldn't tell the difference.

Like usual.

《" don't you think your way to comfortable?"》
Nikto questioned the Austrian who was taking up 68% of the bed.

《" who? Me?"》
Kreuger chuckled a little before he rested his hand on Niktos pecks, which got snatched away quick.

《" weirdo"》
He said with no real bite in his tone.

Kreuger sat up again. He vant sit still. Why is he fidgeting like a toddler?

《" if you dont want to sleep get off my bed."》
Kreuger just sat on niktos thighs and Nikto is pretty sure he just cracked his fucking bones.
Kreuger shifted his entire body weight on him and Niko was not happy with that so he just threw him off the bed.
Ah yes. Romance..

《" Agh! "》
kreuger was caught off guard for a moment before he- out of spite took nikto by the bottom of his shirt and pulled him down to the floor.
Looks like neither of them is getting the bed.

《"Did u HAVE to do that? Im an old man , cut me some slack."》
Nikto mumbled as he rubbed his back.
Like usual.

《" don't you think your way to comfortable?"》
Nikto questioned the Austrian who was taking up 68% of the bed.

《" who? Me?"》
Kreuger chuckled a little before he rested his hand on Niktos pecks, which got snatched away quick.

《" weirdo"》
He said with no real bite in his tone.

Kreuger sat up again. He vant sit still. Why is he fidgeting like a toddler?

《" if you dont want to sleep get off my bed."》
Kreuger just sat on niktos thighs and Nikto is pretty sure he just cracked his fucking bones.
Kreuger shifted his entire body weight on him and Niko was not happy with that so he just threw him off the bed.
Ah yes. Romance..

《" Agh! "》
kreuger was caught off guard for a moment before he- out of spite took nikto by the bottom of his shirt and pulled him down to the floor.
Looks like neither of them is getting the bed.

《"Did u HAVE to do that? Im an old man , cut me some slack."》
Nikto mumbled as he rubbed his back.

Kreuger was semi laying underneath nikto

《"Your crushing me old man.."》

Notes:

Today is my birthday anf i woke up feeling sick to my stomach uhghgdgs

Notes:

AHHH I'm so sorry for my Grammer and way of writing, I'm still in school and still learning English (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)!!

I'm not sure how many chapters I will write but please leave some feat back or kudos

Thank you!!! 😺