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Akari stared in awe, frozen in place. The hot summer wind blew her bangs into her eyes, and she wiped them away with her hand. That same wind picked up and sprinkled flower petals all over her vision. She was on her way back to her apartment after finishing classes for the day, when she saw the senpai that she admired so much up ahead. Kamikoshi Sorawo. She was about to run up and call out to her, when she realized that Kamikoshi-senpai wasn’t alone. Her friend, Nishina Toriko, a tall blonde beauty who contrasted with Kamikoshi-senpai’s shorter, grungier-but-cute appearance, was with her. Akari didn’t mind talking to both of them, but something about that day, that encounter, held her back. She couldn’t pinpoint why, but there was a certain air, an atmosphere around them, that prevented any outsider from interfering. And as Akari watched on, something unbelievable happened. Nishina-senpai held her hands up to cup Kamikoshi-senpai’s cheeks, and bent down to kiss her. On the lips. And Kamikoshi-senpai reciprocated, wrapping her arms around Nishina-senpai’s waist. They looked so pure, so tender, so beautiful together.
That was the first time that the concept of romance had bloomed inside Akari’s mind.
It wasn’t that she had never heard of romance. All of her friends and classmates liked to talk about it. She herself had read some shoujo manga while growing up. You couldn’t go to a movie theater without seeing a whole bunch of posters featuring men and women kissing. Open the TV to a random channel, and chances were you would land on some cheesy romance drama.
Akari knew that love and romance existed.
However, it was only a sort of vague knowledge , something that she felt had nothing to do with her, the same way she felt about hearing news events happening on the other side of the world. It had nothing to do with her, it wouldn’t affect her, and she would forget about it in the next moment.
But on that day, everything changed. She always thought that love had nothing to do with her, but then she saw her precious senpai kiss. Not to mention, her senpai wasn’t kissed by a guy, but by a fellow girl. This was the closest that the concept of love and romance had invaded into Akari’s immediate surroundings, involving someone she admired a lot.
Now that she was made aware of it, she couldn’t be made unaware. It was like being told, "ignore the white elephant standing over there."
The ground beneath Akari’s feet plunged away from her, into the abyss.
What was love? What was romance? What was her place within this world, in relation to those concepts?
What did love mean to her?
Akari didn’t know. But she felt like she needed to know. Somehow it made her feel more restless than a troublesome opponent in a karate match.
That kiss she witnessed changed her world.
"Kamikoshi-senpaiiiiii!"
"A-Akari?!"
It was a few days later. Akari had seen her precious senpai eating alone in the university cafeteria, and hurriedly brought her tray of food to go sit across from her. Since it was almost summer break, this might be the last time she got to meet her elusive and antisocial senpai. She was so excited that a bit of miso soup spilled out of her small bowl when she set the tray down across from the nerdy looking girl with a single blue color contact lens.
"I saw you kissing Nishina-senpai the other day!"
Kamikoshi-senpai sputtered and nearly spat out her tea. She slammed her glass on the table and leaned over to Akari. "D-Don’t talk about that kind of thing so loudly!" she hissed.
Akari sat in her chair and tilted her head. "Am I not supposed to?"
Her senpai shook her head, and seemed to be looking around the cafeteria. Was she concerned about what people were saying around her? "This kind of thing is private."
"Oh, okay. So are you and Nishina-senpai girlfriends now?"
"Well, we’re not exactly lovers."
"I thought only lovers kissed each other on the lips?"
"No! I mean, maybe? I don’t know." Kamikoshi-senpai sighed. "We’re… we have our own bond, our own relationship, that we defined for ourselves. There might be… some elements of what lovers do in there? But it’s its own kind of relationship."
"Huh." Akari blinked. She had no idea what that meant at all. "So what’s the relationship?"
Kamikoshi-senpai blushed and looked down at the surface of the table. "... Nue."
"Nue?"
Kamikoshi-senpai nodded.
"Did you just make that up?"
"No- Kinda- I mean- yeah?"
"Why?"
"Well." Kamikoshi-senpai squirmed in her seat, blushing and rubbing her hands together. It was a side of her that Akari didn’t think she had seen before. "I mean, people say lovers as one thing, right? But there’s different parts of it. Like, love, sex, and romance are different things."
"Huh."
"And you can pick just some."
"Oh?"
"But a lot of people want the package deal."
"Like, getting the set lunch bento at a restaurant?"
"Yeah! No? Maybe." Kamikoshi-senpai scratched her head and ruffled her hair with both hands. She was always so confident and knowledgeable about true ghost stories, and was some kind of specialist in dealing with the supernatural, but she seemed completely lost right now.
Is love that complicated?
"Senpai, what is love?" asked Akari.
"Huwah?" Kamikoshi-senpai stared at her with a blank look. "I’m the last person you should be asking about this."
"But you have something with Nishina-senpai."
"Yeah."
"So doesn’t that mean you know what love is?"
"Not really?"
Akari tilted her head again. It felt like they were talking in circles.
Kamikoshi-senpai sighed. She had a lot of sighs in her today. "Why don’t you go ask Ichikawa-san?"
"Nattsun? Why should I ask Nattsun?"
Her senpai smacked a hand against her forehead, looking like she was completely fed up with something. "You know what, there’s someone who likes talking about this kind of thing a lot, I’ll ask if she’s willing to hear you out." She pulled out her phone and sent a message. Not even a few seconds later, the phone immediately buzzed again. "As expected of Benimori… I’ll send her your contact info, so go meet up with her in a cafe or something. Seriously, I am not equipped to talk about this at all."
"Okay. Thanks, senpai."
Maybe love was like some hidden answer to the world that only the chosen few could understand.
"Hey, Nattsun."
"Hmm?"
"What is love?"
Nattsun’s eyes were wide as she stared at Akari. She didn’t move an inch.
Akari had come over to Nattun’s place to play a few console games together, and it was when they were having a snack break that she had asked that question. For some reason, it made Nattsun malfunction worse than the old half-broken console they were using.
Akari waved her hand in front of Nattsun’s face, and it took a few minutes for Nattsun to react.
Nattsun’s face was redder than her dyed hair. "Why… why are you asking that, Akari?"
"I saw Kamikoshi-senpai and Nishina-senpai kissing the other day."
"Oh. Good for them."
"It was kinda weird."
Nattsun seemed to jerk back at that, but Akari didn’t know why. "Weird in, what way?"
Akari leaned backwards and supported her weight with her arms behind her on the floor. "Just, love, you know? It always seemed like such a faraway thing. That it didn’t have anything to do with me at all."
"What… what do you think about how, you know, they’re both girls, and they kissed?"
"Hmm. Now that I think about it, I can’t imagine Kamikoshi-senpai kissing anyone other than Nishina-senpai. So it would be weirder if she was kissing a guy, I guess."
"Okay."
Akari straightened her back and stretched her arms over her head. "That’s when it hit me though. Like, oh, love is actually close by, kind of thing. But I don’t know what love is at all. What do you think love is, Nattsun?"
Nattsun turned away and avoided looking into her eyes for some reason. She fiddled idly with the game controller, even though they weren’t playing anything at the moment. "Well… I think it’s when, you want to be with someone a lot, you know?"
"Isn’t that the same as being friends?"
"T-there’s also like, wanting to kiss them, and stuff. And be with them forever. Someone you have a special bond with. Someone that makes you feel warm."
"Hmm." Akari stared at Nattsun. She did feel a certain warmth when she was with Nattsun. "I don’t know about kissing and stuff, but I do want to be with you forever. Does this mean I love you, Nattsun?"
Nattsun spat out her cola. She wiped her mouth with her sleeves, while still averting her eyes. "I don’t know. You’ll have to think about, the difference between friends and lovers, you know?"
"Friends and lovers… what do you think the difference is?"
"... I’m not so sure either."
"This kind of thing is hard, huh." Akari finished off a bag of chips. "Let’s get back to playing."
"Y-yeah, let’s."
About a week after Kamikoshi-senpai had put Akari in contact with her friend - Benimori-senpai - Akari finally got to meet the supposed love specialist. They had agreed to meet at a trendy little cafe in Shinjuku. Benimori-senpai said that just talking in the cafeteria would be fine, but since Akari was asking a stranger for advice, she felt like she should treat the senpai to a decent meal at the very least.
"Are you perhaps Akari-chan?"
Akari looked up to see a cute girl with wavy, faded red hair. She was fashionable, with beautiful makeup and pretty clothes. Akari immediately stood up and bowed her head. "Benimori-senpai? It is nice to meet you."
"It’s nice to meet you too. Don’t be so stiff, go ahead and sit down."
As they took their seats, a waitress came over to take their order. Akari ordered the strawberry and chocolate crepe, while Benimori-senpai ordered the citrus crepe with vanilla gelato. They both got rose tea to go with their sweets.
"So, Akari-chan." Benimori-senpai smiled at her. "I heard from Kamikoshi-san that you were having love troubles?"
"Well, rather than love troubles, I don’t know what love is in the first place." Akari held up her cup with both hands and took a sip. The sweet fragrance of the rose tea was calming, and helped to coax her to open up and talk more. "I tried asking a friend, and they said it’s about wanting to be with someone forever, but when I asked her if that meant I love her or not, she said to think about the difference between friends and lovers. But I have no idea what that is. Kamikoshi-senpai said something about a bento package deal…"
The waitress arrived with their crepes as Akari trailed off. They waited for her to place the dishes on their table before resuming their conversation.
Benimori-senpai covered her hands with her mouth and giggled. "You remind me of when Kamikoshi-san was agonizing over this too. She was so absolutely cute and wonderful."
Akari raised an eyebrow. Something about that felt weird to her. "I wonder why Kamikoshi-senpai was agonizing over it."
"Why do you think she wouldn’t?"
"Well." Akari crossed her arms and thought. It was some instinctive thing that was hard to put into words. "How do I say this... I never saw them kiss until just recently, so the idea of lovers didn’t cross my mind, but… I guess they always felt like they complete each other as a set? Like, they always belonged together. They came as a pair. You can’t think of one without thinking of the other, and they always supported and trusted each other."
"I see, I see." Benimori-senpai nodded her head vigorously. "Putting romance aside, do you think that is love? People who care about each other deeply, and like to be together a lot?"
Akari chewed a piece of her crepe as she thought. "I think so. I don’t know if it’s as friends or lovers, but I think they’ve always had that kind of… special bond?"
"I see." Benimori-senpai’s smile widened. She picked up her fork and knife, and split her crepe into three parts. "With the package deal you heard from Kamikoshi-san, that was something I heard from one of my professors. That in our society, there’s only one package of ‘lovers’, that includes love, romance, and sex." She pointed at the three pieces of her crepe as she said each term. "I suppose the easiest one to start with would be… Akari-chan, do you have a sex drive?"
"What’s a sex drive?"
Benimori-senpai twitched in her seat, making Akari tilt her head. Was her question that weird?
"Um, you do know what sex is, right?" Benimori-senpai slowly asked.
Akari nodded. "Yeah. Or rather, I know of it, I guess. It’s that thing that lovers do together, right? And that families do to make children."
Benimori-senpai blushed, then looked around the cafe to see if anyone was listening to them. For some reason, everyone did that when they talked to Akari about this kind of thing. Benimori-senpai fiddled with her utensils, staring at her crepe and pushing it around a bit, before looking up to talk to Akari again. "Well, when some people have sex, they feel physical pleasure from it. A sex drive is an urge, a desire to experience that physical pleasure. And sometimes people get an uncomfortable feeling inside themselves that makes them want it, or they look at other people they’re attracted to and then feel excited inside."
"Is it like when a guy is shit-talking you to your face and you feel like you really really want to punch him?"
"Um… maybe like that but in a good way?"
Akari crossed her arms and looked at the ceiling. "I don’t think I have a sex drive, then."
Benimori-senpai smiled. "That’s a good thing to realize about yourself."
"So does that mean I can’t fall in love?"
"Not at all. Like I said, these three are separate things." Benimori-senpai ate a part of the crepe that was cut off to represent sex. "There are people who feel romantic love but have no sexual desire, and vice versa. There are couples who get together but don’t have sex. Some people who don’t have a sex drive can still enjoy it when they have sex with their partner, while others refuse to do it at all. It’s up to the person, and up to you to figure out what you want."
Akari thought about it as she ate her own crepe. She probably didn’t want it without anyone prompting her, but if a partner asked her to do it… That was too hard to imagine. She wasn’t even sure what love was, yet alone how to envision a romantic partner in her head. What if it was Nattsun? If Nattsun asked her for sex… she would probably be okay with it. At the very least she was willing to give it a try.
"What about the difference between love and romance?" asked Akari.
"Well." Benimori-senpai held up her fork. "Normally people talk about different kinds of love, like friendship, familial love, romantic love, but when you have no idea what love is at all, it’s hard to understand, isn’t it?"
Akari nodded. She had that exact problem right now. Forget bringing in different types of love, she didn’t know what any kind of love was. If someone asked if she loved her family, she would say yes. But that didn’t mean that she knew how to define it.
"I would say, you could define love as having a strong positive feeling towards another person. What you said about wanting to be with your friend forever, that can be a form of love. Also how you described Kamikoshi-san and her partner - always supporting and trusting each other, coming together as a set, belonging together - that can also be a form of love. A strong, emotional bond between people who value each other."
"I see…"
Benimori-senpai pointed her knife at the last third of her crepe. "As for romance, perhaps it would be more helpful for you to frame it as ‘romantic cultural rituals’? As a society, we have different rituals that we use to indicate that some people are lovers. Kissing, sex, going on dates, seeing romantic movies together. Of course, you can do these things without being lovers, but even something like holding hands takes on a different atmosphere when in the context of lovers, no? And in a way, they turned into an obligation. That when you become lovers with someone, others expect you to partake in those rituals. And a lot of people do like and want to do all those things. Nobody lives outside of a culture, and our values and desires are influenced by it."
"So I have to do those things?"
"Not at all." Benimori-senpai said. "That’s the common cultural expectation, but that doesn’t mean it will fit for you . Many people expect the whole package deal - love, romantic rituals, and sex - when becoming lovers, but when someone follows the template because they feel that they have to, not because they want to, it can lead to frustration and unhappiness. So it’s a good idea to figure out which things you want, and be able to talk about them with a potential partner."
Akari held her chin. "Then… if becoming lovers means taking the whole bento set lunch, and being friends means only having friendly love and none of the others… then what happens if you pick and choose only parts of it?"
Benimori-senpai smiled. "That’s something you have to talk about with each other too. Whether you want to stay friends, or whether you feel right calling each other lovers. Or maybe nothing feels right for you, so you define a new relationship for yourselves the way Kamikoshi-san did. Or you could redefine to each other what the word "lover" means, without coming up with a new word. Is there someone specific that you’re thinking about redefining a relationship with?"
"I never even thought about love at all before now, but… I wonder how I feel towards Nattsun - she’s a childhood friend."
"Ohhh! A childhood friend!" Benimori-senpai clapped her hands together and beamed. "Childhood friends are usually one of the losing archetypes, so it would be nice to see a successful story."
"Losing archetype?"
"Oh, I’m sorry, I ended up fangirling a little too much." Benimori-senpai chuckled. "Have I helped make things clearer for you?"
"Yes! Thank you very much!" Akari stood up and bowed deeply to her.
"I-it’s not worth bowing that much for!" Benimori-senpai hurriedly stopped her.
"I’ll cover the bill for you."
"No, I’m the senpai, I can’t let a kouhai treat me."
"But I learned so much from you today, and you didn’t have to take my request at all when you didn’t even know me…"
"Don't worry about it, it’s no trouble at all." Benimori-senpai smiled. "Let’s split the bill then, okay? But say hi to me when you see me on campus, and let’s hang out again some time."
"Thank you, senpai!"
"Moriko-san, are you really sure about giving me the spot?" Akari bowed with her luggage as she asked.
"It’s fine, my stupid husband threw out his back again, so you and Natsumi should go enjoy yourselves!" Ichikawa Moriko, Nattsun’s mother, waved her hand at Akari. "Besides, you’re pretty much a part of our family, Akari-chan. No need to be reserved."
Akari was at the train station with Nattsun and Moriko-san. Nattsun’s parents had won an overnight stay for two at a really fancy hot springs ryokan in Hakone during the Obon holiday period, but due to an injury, Nattsun’s father couldn’t make it. Instead of going with Nattsun herself, Moriko-san had opted to let Nattsun go with Akari. Akari couldn’t help but feel guilty about it, but they were insistent.
"Thank you very much."
"No worries. Take care of our dumb daughter, okay?"
"Okaa-san!" Nattsun grit her teeth.
Their train arrived at the platform, and they waved goodbye to Moriko-san as they boarded. They were taking an express train to Hakone-Yumoto Station with reserved reclining seats, so they could sit back and relax together.
"Thanks for coming with me, Akari… I’m really happy," said Nattsun as they took their seats.
Akari smiled at her. "I should be the one thanking you! I’m really looking forward to this." She casually reached out to hold Nattsun’s hand. Nattsun stiffed under her touch, and Akari felt a strange sort of electricity in her palm. They had held each other’s hands several times before, but like Benimori-senpai said, now that she was holding it in the context of wondering whether she had special feelings for Nattsun or not, the atmosphere of it felt completely different to Akari. She wondered how Nattsun felt. What did Nattsun think was the difference between friends and lovers?
Now that she thought about it… the train they were on was called the Romancecar. Maybe it was some kind of sign. A few months ago, when Nattsun had been drinking with Kamikoshi-senpai and got so drunk that she needed to be picked up, she had said that she loved Akari. At the time, Akari thought she was just showing affection as friends, but now she wondered if Nattsun meant something more.
Though, what did Akari herself want? She had been fine with the way things were between them. If they just stayed together as close friends forever, she would be perfectly happy. But now that she was aware of love… would a change from friends to lovers be better? It was okay for things to stay the same, but maybe if things changed, it would be even better than before. Or it could be worse. Did she still want things to stay the same? Did thinking about it a lot meant that she was no longer okay with the way things were?
What did Nattsun want? If Nattsun wanted for them to be lovers, would it be painful for her if they didn’t become lovers?
"Akari? Are you okay?" Nattsun looked at her worryingly.
Akari realized that she had been zoning out for a while. "Oh, sorry, I'm still kind of sleepy."
"Y-you can sleep on my shoulder if you want." Nattsun blushed.
"I'll take you up on that offer then." Akari leaned against Nattsun and snuggled her head against Nattsun’s shoulder. Nattsun twitched and shivered a bit from the contact, but soon leaned into Akari too. The grip from her hand felt firmer. Akari became a bit more certain. She had a feeling that Nattsun was in love with her. "You're warm, Nattsun."
"S-sorry, I guess?"
"Unn." She shook her head. "I mean it in a good way. You're comfortable." Akari didn't know if she was in love with Nattsun. But what she did know was… "I want to be with you like this forever."
"T-that would be nice."
Akari must have really been sleepy, because the next thing she knew, Nattsun was shaking her awake. They had arrived at Hakone-Yumoto station. They gathered their bags and exited the train.
"What should we do?" asked Nattsun.
"We still have time before check-in, right? Let's grab something to eat and explore the town."
Nattsun pointed at a counter in the train station. "Should we have them send our luggage to the ryokan ahead of us?"
"I wouldn't mind just carrying it as we walked. But I guess it'll make it easier to look around."
They entrusted their bags to the courier service, then looked for a place to eat. A short walk from the station they found a Chinese restaurant, and went in. After looking through the menu for a while, they ordered fried rice, pork belly, and a lot of different types of dumplings.
"I wonder if I can try making this at home," said Akari as she sampled the different dishes. "I probably won't be able to get the same taste, though."
"I'll be happy to eat anything you make, Akari. I can eat your cooking every day."
"Awww, that makes it sound like we're living together, Nattsun." Akari chuckled. When she saw Nattsun blush and turn away, she realized the implication of those words. Friends don't tend to live together - well, some do as roommates when the situation calls for it, but usually people either live alone, with family, or with their lover. This was also a part of the package deal that Benimori-senpai talked about, wasn't it? It seemed like Nattsun was hinting that she wanted to live with Akari.
What did Akari want? She ignored the rest of the package that came with lovers, and thought only about living with Nattsun. Seeing her every day, cooking for her, sharing meals together… It did sound appealing. She always enjoyed Nattsun’s company. It felt natural and comfortable to be with her. It would definitely be less lonely than living alone in a small apartment.
Well, that's one box checked. Akari would like to live with Nattsun.
They had dessert at a local Japanese confectionary shop next. Since it was still summer, they ordered some shaved ice along with their dango to fend off the heat. As Nattsun happily ate the shaved ice, droplets of sweat trickling down the side of her face, Akari couldn't help but be captured by the sight. She knew that Nattsun was pretty before, but she always thought of it in an abstract sense, the same way she used to think about love. Now Nattsun's beauty shined through like the summer sun piercing the clouds. Akari was confused. How did she never notice it before? Why hadn't she felt this way previously? Was it because she was aware of love now?
Was Akari herself changing? Just by becoming aware of it, thinking about it, it was like her entire world changed. Her whole perspective, the way she viewed and interacted with the world, her cognition of it, everything changed from that one feeling that bloomed in her heart. And in the center of her world was Nattsun.
"There's a putt putt mini golf place near the station," said Natsumi as she looked at the map on her phone. "That sounds like something you might like. Or do you want to walk around instead?"
"Let's go! It'll be fun together."
As they putted the golf balls around together, fooling around, teasing each other, and laughing the whole time, Akari felt so much joy inside herself. She really was at her happiest when she was with Nattsun. Seeing Nattsun try her best, scrunching up her eyebrows when she missed a shot, or pumping her fist and shouting excitedly when she pulled off an incredible move, it was all so very precious. More than anyone, Akari wanted to be with Nattsun. Akari had other friends too, but they weren't nearly on the same level.
After they completed the course, they walked along the Haya River up the mountain towards their ryokan. They checked in with their delivered luggage, then showered and changed into the provided yukata. Their room came with a private onsen bath on the balcony, but since it was still hot during the day, they decided to save it for after dinner.
Natsumi rolled around on the tatami flooring. "This place really screams luxury."
"Yeah." Akari looked around the well decorated room. It was full of wooden and earthen tones, with many parts created with intricate craftsmanship. The balcony gave them a beautiful view of the mountain’s forest, and they could also see streams. She walked out onto the balcony, and sat on one of the lounging seats to gaze out at the scenery.
"What's up?" asked Nattsun as she took the seat next to Akari.
"What do you mean?"
"You've been acting weird all day."
"Have I?"
"I know you better than anyone, after all."
Akari chuckled. She watched as a blue bird flew by overhead. "I've been thinking about a lot of things."
"I didn't know you were the type to think."
"What's that supposed to mean?!" She turned around angrily.
Nattsun laughed. "Haven't you always been a meathead martial artist?"
"Just because I do karate doesn't mean I'm a meathead! That's just a stereotype!"
"Are you good with your brains then?"
"...No." Akari pouted.
Nattsun laughed harder and slapped Akari's shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Akari turned back to look at the mountains. "I'm still trying to gather it in my head, so I don't know how to talk about it yet. But I'll talk to you about it later when I figure it out."
"Okay." Nattsun looked at the mountains too.
They sat there silently together, just chilling out, appreciating each other's company as they took in the relaxing scenery. It was calm and comfy. They didn't have to do anything, they didn't have to say anything, all they needed was to be there with each other. And that was enough. It was right.
"Nattsun," Akari said softly.
"Hmm?"
"Do you want to be with me forever?"
"...Yeah."
"I see." Even without looking directly at Nattsun, Akari's instincts honed from karate could tell that Nattsun was twitching a lot. She was agitated, excited.
A knock on the door sounded, interrupting their conversation. It was time for dinner. The plan that they were on included an elaborate kaiseki meal, where several small dishes of various cuisines, made from fresh seasonal ingredients and beautifully arranged, were carried into their room and laid out on the table.
It was an extravagant feast for both the eyes and the mouth.
After their stomachs settled from the luxurious meal, they headed into their private onsen and dipped inside. Their room’s onsen was a rectangular wooden bath, more than spacious enough for both of them. The hot water soothed Akari and released the pain from her muscles. They had walked around quite a lot that day. Supposedly the minerals in the water were good for the skin too.
Akari glanced to her side. Normally, she wouldn't pay attention to other people's bodies in a bath. And she had taken baths with Nattsun since she was a kid, so being naked together was completely natural to her.
But she couldn't stop herself from paying attention to Nattsun's body. The nape of her neck, exposed from having her hair tied up above the water. The toned arms, from heavy lifting and working on machinery every day. Her small but perky breasts, hiding just below the rippling surface of the water. Her thin waist filling out into her wide hips. Akari felt something rising inside her. Something impatient, something hot. Her body felt hotter than the water from the onsen. Was this the excitement that Benimori-senpai talked about?
"A-Akari?" Nattsun’s lips quivered as she caught her staring.
Akari had to know. She moved in front of Nattsun, and leaned over her as Nattsun pulled back. She pushed her arm past Nattsun's head, grabbing onto the ledge of the bath behind her. "Nattsun. Can I try kissing you?"
"E-eh?! You're supposed to save a kiss for when you're with someone you-"
"Can I?" Akari pushed on the offensive.
Nattsun’s eyes darted left and right, up and down, looking everywhere except directly at Akari. She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, then looked at Akari with upturned eyes. "Yeah…"
Akari leaned in closer, their bodies slowly touching. She cupped Nattsun's cheek with her free hand. So soft, so warm, so precious. She looked into those pretty eyes. How did she never notice how beautiful those eyes were until now? How did it bring out so much heat inside her core? She steadily moved in, bringing their faces together, until their lips touched. It was a light, gentle kiss, but she felt her affection for Nattsun bloom inside of her, and felt Nattsun's affection for her flow into her too.
Akari liked the kiss. She liked having contact with Nattsun, and the exchange of affection. She was certain of it now. She was in love with Nattsun.
"Nattsun," Akari softly whispered her name.
"Y-yes?" Nattsun's quivering voice was several octaves higher than usual, and unlike her usual delinquent posturing, she was huddled in on herself like a little squirrel.
"I don't know if I have a sex drive or not. I don't know if I'll like it or hate it without trying it first."
"W-what are you saying while we're n-naked together in the bath?!" Nattsun blushed and covered her face with her hand, but Akari grabbed it and pulled it away. This was her bout, and she wasn't going to let Nattsun escape.
"I don't know much about love and romance. I don't know if I can give you everything you want." She caressed Nattsun's face. "But I know I love you. I feel warm with you, a special bond I don't feel with anyone else. I want to be with you forever. I'd even be happy living with you. It might not be the kind of typical relationship you want, but will you go out with me?"
Nattsun's eyes widened, and she went stiff. Tears broke out of her eyes and she threw her arms around Akari. "Yes! Akari, I love you, I love you, I've been in love with you for so long."
"I'm sorry I never noticed, Nattsun." Akari rubbed her back.
"No, it's fine, I'm the one that was a coward and afraid to say anything." Nattsun shook her head, burrowing her face against Akari’s neck and shoulders.
Akari gently patted Nattsun's head, then kissed her forehead. "We're together now. Let's find our happiness, Nattsun."
The next day, they stopped by different stores to buy souvenirs for their friends and family. Normally Akari thought of the social obligation to bring souvenirs back to be a giant pain in the ass, but she felt really grateful to Benimori-senpai and was happy to look for something nice for her. Akari hoped that Benimori-senpai would enjoy the yumochi snacks and the konjac sponge face cleaner.
An item caught her eye in one of the train station’s shops. "Oh! I think Kamikoshi-senpai would like this!"
"Oh yeah, Akari." Nattsun grabbed the hem of her shirt. "I thought - I was wondering if you were actually in love with Kamikoshi-senpai, with how much you talk about her."
"Hmm, I don't know."
"You don't know, huh." Nattsun’s face fell.
"I admire her a lot. I never thought about romance stuff with her though," Akari said as she paid for the gift. "But after getting Benimori-senpai’s advice, it's harder to know the difference between friends and lovers, you know? Love and the different labels we assign to people are so complicated."
"Is it really that complicated?"
"It is if you're an anthropology major, I guess." Akari chuckled.
They took the Romancecar back to Tokyo, which felt a lot more fitting this time around. Akari held Nattsun's hand for most of the ride. It felt right. Happy and content. She didn't know what would happen in the future, but she had high hopes for the new direction their relationship was taking.
When they arrived in Tokyo, Kamikoshi-senpai told her that she and Nishina-senpai were at Kozakura-san’s house, so Akari and Nattsun decided to drop by with their souvenirs right away.
"We brought souvenirs!" Akari announced as she placed some bags of yumochi on the dining table.
Kozakura-san looked at the way Nattsun and Akari were standing close to each other, and nodded in understanding. "So you two finally got together, huh. Congratulations."
"Thank you, Kozakura-san." Nattsun blushed and lightly bowed. Apparently it had been obvious to everyone else that Nattsun was in love with her, yet Akari never noticed.
As Kamikoshi-senpai and Nishina-senpai walked into the dining room, Akari wondered why they still hung out at Kozakura-san’s place all the time. Were they just having fun annoying Kozakura-san?
"Ah, Kamikoshi-senpai! I found a souvenir that I think you'd really like!"
"Oh? What is it, Akari?" Kamikoshi-senpai, Nishina-senpai, and Kozakura-san all leaned in curiously as Akari reached into her bag.
Akari proudly pulled out the item. It was a mosaic wooden box, made of many small and intricately cut wooden pieces arranged into an elaborate pattern. It was an incredible piece of handiwork, beautifully made.
As soon as she placed it on the table, the three women immediately jumped backwards with fearful looks on their faces. Nishina-senpai bent over and cradled her navel, as if she were having period pains.
Akari tilted her head. "Um, this isn't like, something from a cursed ghost story, is it?"
Kozakura-san and Nishina-senpai looked at Kamikoshi-senpai, who stared at the box intently. "It's… probably fine, I think." She gulped and looked at Akari. "You're not planning on having kids, right?"
"Senpai, even I know you need a penis to make a baby."