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It’s been a few months since Chuuya broke up with Dazai.
Dazai couldn’t understand why. He tried talking to Chuuya, desperately trying to get him to stay or even just explain why he wanted to break up, but the ginger said nothing as he packed the necessities and left.
After that, Dazai fell into a slump. He didn’t want to do anything. He barely even left his bed most days.
Kunikida, his manager, tried calling him multiple times for a few days, but gave up after not getting an answer. Instead, he sent Atsushi over to check on the man.
Dazai was thankful for the younger colleague’s attempts to help him, but unfortunately it was just a waste of time.
Dazai was utterly heartbroken.
Eventually, the brown haired man turned to the one thing he had left in an attempt to numb the pain in his heart.
Music.
Since he and Chuuya split, all of his scheduled events, such as Meet and Greets and recording sessions in the studio, had been canceled to allow him time to recover. He knew the fans were waiting for him to return and he didn’t want to keep them waiting.
So, even though it was about 4am, Dazai sat down at his desk and got to work. He poured out all of his feelings onto the paper in front of him. Then, after a short crying break, he got to work on revising and reorganizing the words until they formed coherent lyrics.
Grabbing the few pages of paper, Dazai got up and moved to the small soundproof room he had in his house. It was pretty cramped in there from various books on music, CDs, and other music related stuff, but Dazai didn’t mind.
He grabbed his guitar and sat down on the floor. He switched between strumming chords and humming, writing down what he thought was good. A few hours later, he left the cramped room, papers in hand. It was around 10am, so he decided he would head over to the studio after weeks of not leaving his house. The only reason was because he needed some of the instruments there. Definitely not because he also missed some of his friends.
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After arriving at the studio, Dazai tried to go unnoticed. However, that didn’t last long when Atsushi noticed him. Dazai didn’t even try to act like he was fine. He knew that his appearance and eyebags would say otherwise. Plus, Atsushi had been the one to go to his house and check on him, so he knew the white haired boy wouldn’t be fooled.
“Dazai! How are you feeling?” Atsushi asked, concern evident in his voice.
“Eh, could be a lot better but I’ll be okay for now.” Dazai replied.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were still taking a break?” Atsushi asked, now looking slightly confused.
“Technically, I am, but I need to use some of the instruments here. Or rather, I need some help using some of the instruments here.” Dazai explained to the boy, while heading towards the meeting room.
“Oh? Which ones?” Atsushi asked excitedly.
“Mainly drums. I can take care of the guitar. I also need someone to play bass guitar. The song is still in its demo phase though, so it’ll most likely get adjusted here and there.” Dazai explained.
“Ah, I see. Well, I’m sure Yosano could play bass! Oh, and maybe have Junichiro play the drums!” Atsushi suggested.
“I’ll have to ask them first.” Dazai replied.
Dazai walked into the meeting room, where Yosano, Junichiro, Ranpo, and Kenji were talking. The conversation paused as soon as they heard the door open, though.
“Before you guys bombard me with questions, I’m just here to ask for a bit of help. I need two people to play bass and drums for a song I made. Atsushi here, suggested Yosano and Junichiro help. Is that alright with you two?” Dazai asked them.
“Sure, I’m down.” Yosano said.
“Same here.” Junichiro replied.
“Great! Now, I would like to get this done hopefully today but it’s alright if not. I know this stuff takes time.” Dazai said, leading the other two out of the meeting room.
“So, what kind of song is it exactly?” Junichiro asked.
“Hmm… let’s just say it’s a bit of a sad song.” Dazai replied, leaving the answer vague on purpose. He knew there were probably better ways to describe it.
“Alright then. So what’s the plan exactly? How many takes are we doing?” Yosano asked.
“I wanna do a few run-throughs with just the instruments first. We’ll record once I feel it sounds good. I’m gonna do the vocals separately.” Dazai explained to them.
Once they were in one of the recording rooms, Dazai gave Yosano and Junichiro each a copy of the music sheets and left them to get set up while he grabbed a sound tech to take care of the recording part and explain to them how everything was gonna go.
Then, he returned to the recording part of the room where Yosano and Junichiro were all done getting set up. The sound tech helped them make sure each of their instruments were set to the right volume for when they did the recording.
“You two ready?” Dazai asked, turning to look at the other two.
“Yep.” Junichiro replied.
“I’m ready when you are.” Yosano said.
“Okay. Let’s get this done.” Dazai said, before strumming the first few notes of the song.
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After many different tries and minor adjustments to certain parts, they finally were able to do the final recording. Now, Dazai could record the vocals.
“I’m only doing one take.” Dazai said, as the sound tech adjusted the volume on his mic and got the instrumental recording ready.
“Alright, are you ready?” the sound tech asked.
“Yeah.” Dazai said after taking a deep breath.
With a thumbs up from the sound tech, the instrumentals started playing.
Dazai closed his eyes as he began singing.
Sayonara wa anata kara itta
Sore nano ni hoo o nurashite shimau no
Sou yatte kinou no koto mo keshite shimau nara
Mou ii yo
Waratte
Hanataba o kakaete aruita
Imi mo naku
Tada machi o mioroshita
Kou yatte risou no fuchi ni kokoro o okisatte iku
Mou ii ka
Karappo de iyou sore de itsuka
Fukai ao de mitashita no nara dou darou
Konna fuu ni nayameru no kana
Ai wo utatte utatte kumo no ue
Nigorikitta wa mienai ya iya iya~
Tooku egaiteta hibi o
Katatte katatte yoru no mure
Igamiatte kiri ga nai na ina ina~
Waraiatte sayonara
Asayake to anata no tameiki
Kono machi wa bokura no yume o miteru
Kyou datte tagai no koto o wasurete ikun da ne
Nee, sou desho
Damatte iyou sore de itsuka
Sainamareta to shite mo
Betsu ni iin da yo
Konna urei mo imi ga aru nara
Koi to kazatte kazatte shizuku no hou e
Yogore kitta kotoba wo ima ima ima~
“Koko ni wa dare mo inai”
“Ee, sou ne”
Mazatte mazatte futari no hate
Yuzuri atte nani no nai na ina ina~
Itami datte oshiete
Kitto kitto wakatte ita
Damashiau nante bakarashii yo na
Zutto zutto mayotte ita
Hora ne bokura wa kawarenai
Sou darou
Tagai no sei de ima ga aru no ni
Ai wo utatte utatte kumo no ue
Nigorikitte wa mienai ya iya iya~
Hi ni hi ni fuete ita koukai o
Katatte katatte yoru no mure
Yurushiatte imi no nai no ina ina ina~
Ai wo utatte utatte kumo no ue
Katatte katatte yoru no mure
Waraiatte sayonara
Everyone that had come to listen to Dazai sing was either crying or on the verge of crying by the end of the song. They could all hear the raw emotion in his voice as he sang. His voice even cracked at the end since he was almost in tears himself.
Dazai took a moment to calm down before opening his eyes. Once he did, he saw that a majority of the other members had come to listen to him sing.
He gave them a sad smile before exiting the recording room to join them. Once the door shut behind him, he was squished in a group hug by everyone.
Dazai couldn’t help but let out a sigh as he allowed a few tears to fall.