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When you’re a kid and your mother puts you in bed, there’s a chance that, after goodnight, she'll say that the angels are watching over you. They are not. If you're lucky, you can go through your entire life doubting their existence. Dean Winchester was many things, but he was almost never lucky.
Faithless individuals are normally not bothered about what they don't believe. Many could describe Dean as the most faithless of all, but there wasn't much ‘’normal’’ in his life. A man who faced hell couldn't be more surprised when he met heaven and found out it was full of douchebags.
Dean Soon decided he hated all angels, except one, the feathery guy who gripped him tight, raised him from perdition and was stabbed for it. Those were good times. The Winchesters didn't know a thing about life or love, but they knew family, and soon they made Castiel part of theirs.
Dean was sitting in the bunker, searching all over the lore for information about a case, almost asleep. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over, he found himself reading the same sentence over and over, he found himself reading the same sentence over and over. Until he didn't know what he was looking for anymore.
Tired, Dean raised his head, looking for what was left of the sandwich, only to find an empty plate and his stomach growling. It was a lonely evening, and now a lonely, hungry evening. He grabbed his coat and, after notifying Sam of his departure, headed to the garage where the Impala was parked.
He made a note to himself that a nice bacon cheeseburger would momentarily resolve all his problems. The sun was nearly gone, and as he drove, he felt more lonely than ever. He could surely go to a bar and kiss a thousand women who he would never see again, but his mind would keep playing tricks on him, reminding him that his most wanted company was probably far away. He felt wrong for a long time; his involuntary wishes burned his skin from the inside out.
Maybe the angel would answer his call; maybe there was a chance that they could spend the night talking and making the most of the others company, but Dean soon pushed those thoughts away when he realized he was enjoying those hypotheses more than he should.
Even though the darkness brought a cold wind that drove most people away from the street, it was a lovely night. The stars shone along with the moon, which brought Dean some sort of comfort as he walked into the diner. He thanked the nice lady from the register and took the bag with the burger and milkshake outside.
“What a view, bet Cas would like it." He whispered to the nothingness.
Sometimes, when you think a lot about something or someone, you end up saying your thoughts out loud without even noticing it. That was what was happening to Dean at that moment, but he could never admit it, so he was even more surprised by what happened next.
“Hello, Dean.”
Dean quickly turned his back with his heart racing, taking 5 to 10 seconds to process what was happening, and, when he did, he smiled.
Those two words were enough so every muscle in Dean's body could relax. He hadn't even realized how hard he was praying for the angel to show up. It’s funny though; even for Dean himself, praying never was on his daily routine; he considered it shameful; it was too much for a faithless man to believe in somebody who would save him, but he didn't have to believe in God to believe that Castiel was his savior.
“Damn it, Cas.” Dean said, almost spilling his milkshake. “Don’t do that.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Well… you came?!”
“You called… I always come when you call.”
“Did I?”
“Yes.” He replied, and a brief silence was established. “How are you, Dean?”
“I’m fine, I’m awesome.”
“What are you doing?” Castiel asked, trying to get the purpose of the call.
“Eating!?” Dean said, taking a sip from the milkshake. “want some?”
“No, thank you, I don't eat.”
“You, angels..” Dean smiled as he heard the upbeat song coming from the dinner. “What?”
“Nothing…” Cas replied “Do you like this song?”
“Not in the slightest.” Dean laughed.
“So why are you so happy?” Cas frowned.
“Don’t you know music is the food of love, Cas?” He stared at a happy couple leaving the diner. “That dude from Romeo and Juliet said it.”
“Shakespeare?”
“Yeah, that one.” “What about you? How are you, Cas?.”
“I’m ok”
Oh, here we go again. The angel and the hunter were staring at each other so deeply that no one could know for sure what was happening inside their minds, but we could give it a try, and the best shot would be that they didn't really have to talk about anything; they were already saying everything. Saying what they both knew and what they felt from the first embrace. But, as they were not really speaking, who would know?
Dean couldn't even admit it to himself, let alone admit it to the angel.
“It's a lovely night.” Dean said, breaking the silence. “Some girl and guy somewhere could be really enjoying it; they would really love this swirling sky.” He opened a smirk, which made Castiel give a soft smile.
“So, it’s a shame there's only you and me here.” Castiel replied.
“Oh, yes, this could never be.” Dean said it almost too quietly.
“But it is still a lovely night.”
“Do you remember the night we met?” Dean asked as he took the last bite of his burger.
“Yes, I recall, why?”
“Those were good times, man.”
“Shortly after we started the apocalypse.”
“Who cares? That's one of my best memories.” Dean smiled.
“I remember you stabbed me.” Cas replied, opening an even bigger smile.
“Do you only count the bad parts? Grumpy.”
“That is one of my good memories too.”
It was indeed a lovely night; it wasn't a full moon, the stars were shining more than usual, and they could feel the cool weather chilling their bones. But most of it, it was a lovely moment.
“Wanna head somewhere?” Dean asked, giving the angel no time to respond before entering the car.
“Ok.” Castiel replied anyway. “Where are we going?”
“Anywhere, this place is too crowded.”
“I don’t see anyone.” Cas said after looking around for a couple of seconds.
“C’mon Cas.”
Dean drove, avoiding looking in Castiel's eyes because he knew that if he did, there was no turning back. There weren't many cars on the road; maybe the world was built for them two.
[…]
“Do you really want to live forever?” Dean suddenly asked.
“What?” Castiel frowned.
“I mean, living infinitely must be cool, but you spent all those thousands of years in heaven or whatever; won't you ever get tired? I think I would.”
“I don't know.” Cas replied thoughtfully.
“You don't?” Dean looked intrigued.
“No, maybe. I don't think I'll live forever either way.” Castiel responded, but he knew the real answer. He knew for a fact that he wouldn't want to live forever if it meant not having Dean by his side. After thousands of years, he knew that he was willing to give up forever for a human.
“Yeah, that sucks.”
Castiel gazed at Dean the entire way. He thought about what Dean said, and it was funny how he spent years in heaven and the hunter by his side was the closest to it that he would ever be.
Dean parked in the middle of nowhere. The stars were even more pretty from there. He left the car and waved at Cas so he would do the same.
The place was sort of a parking lot except it was completely empty; it had one bench and a slightly bad view of the city.
“I found this place yesterday; there's a haunted house nearby; actually, now it's not haunted anymore, just abandoned.” Dean said as he sat on the bench.
“We can see the whole city from here.” Cas sat by his side.
“Actually it's a pretty crappy view, Cas.” He laughed, making the angel softly laugh too.
“Yes, you are right.”
“I’m always right, man.” “By the way, if you weren't a good friend, I would say this is a waste of a lovely night.”
Saying the word 'friend' hurt even for Dean, but it was all he could afford to be of Castiel.
“Why?”
“Like I said before, some couple out there could really enjoy all this, if you know what I mean.” He smirked.
Cas frowned once again.
“But there's only you and me, and we've got no shot." Dean began stumbling over his words with an ironical fake smile. “I guess…” he whispered.
"Oh.” “Yeah, of course.” Castiel closed his eyes and opened them again slowly with an indecipherable expression.
“Yeah…” Dean smiled shyly in despair. “It’s not like it has something here, right?”
He was wrong; he knew he was. Dean slowly felt his own words burning his skin once more. They could have everything; they could be anything but lovers.
“Right, I'd never fall for you." Castiel slipped those words like a mess. He was also a liar because that was exactly what he had done for Dean, in every possible way.
A deep silence remained for a short moment.
They didn't even realize how close they were while saying those words—close enough to touch. But they didn't; instead, Dean got up and reached his phone in his pocket.
“Here…” A music started playing; it was his way of making things alright again.
Dean tried to put on some classic rock or some beat that would scare all his thoughts away, but he stopped trying when, after three slow songs, ‘Pale Blue Eyes’ started playing.
“Wow, that is old.” He stared at the angel for a couple of seconds. “C’mon, Cas.”
“Mostly you just make me mad.” Dean mumbled.
Castiel stared at him, confused.
“Darling you just make me mad.”
“Let's go, get up, feel the beat, dude.”
“I don’t.” he stopped. "I don't know how to dance, Dean.”
“Don’t worry, this is not flashdance; I was hoping for something more upbeat, but this is a classical.”
“Linger on your pale blue eyes.”
Castiel smiled once again. It was easy like that. The one thing that Dean was all night after.
Castiel got up and Dean quickly grabbed his hands. That simple touch felt electrical.
Breath in, breathe through, breathe out…
They started a weird slow dance and Dean laughed the whole time—not an ironic laugh or anything like that, but a soft one; he couldn't ask for anything else in the entire world. It was one of Dean’s dearest fantasies. And, for Cas, the reassurance that Dean was the best family he could have.
Slowly, Cas laid his head on Dean's shoulder, and what was once a slow dance turned into a hug as the song ended.
Dean heard the first beats of "Hot Blooded” starting to play and took one hand off Castiel's back to change it, skipping song after song till “City of Stars’ started playing.
“City of stars, are you shining just for me?”
“City of stars, there so much that I can’t see.”
All that process took a while, but he couldn't care less once Cas was in his arms.
“Who knows? I felt it from the first embrace I shared with you.”
They continued swaying within a loving embrace. At that moment, they knew for sure, they were both liars; they needed that. Castiel heard Dean slowly mumbling the song, and that filled what was left of his heart.
“That now, our dreams… they’ve finally come true.”
Two or three songs passed by, and they were even closer each time. Once again, close enough to touch.
Castiel raised his head softly and, for once, let himself stare deeper into those green eyes.
“Cas..”
“Dean.”
“Personal space…”
“Oh.” “I’m sorry.” Castiel began to move away but was quickly stopped by Dean.
“I’m kidding, Cas” He laughed. “I’m Sorry.”
“For what?” Cas asked as Dean’s hands sailed through his body until one of them reached his waist and the other his face gently caressing.
“What I said before… It doesn't really match what I'm about to do.”
“What are you about to do?” Castiel blinked twice tilting his head back.
“Can’t you just stay still?”
Just like that, Dean’s lips were on Cas’s. He moved slowly, starting a gentle kiss, which was, to his surprise, quickly accepted by Castiel.
It didn’t last much; in fact, it ended sooner than Castiel expected when Dean reached up to Cas's eyes and smiled gently.
Maybe they could really enjoy a lovely night now, maybe they could stumble over the view. Maybe the world was made for them.
Everybody knows that it was not true; most times, it was almost like the whole world was against them. But, at least, that was how they felt at that moment.
Can I kiss you one more time? Castiel thought.
Soon, Castiel approached him again to seal their lips once more, but Dean pulled back a little as a reflex.
“Can’t you just stay still?” Cas softly laughed.
And there it was again, a longer and deeper kiss. That's how things were supposed to be. It was probably a crime, but it didn't really matter.
That moment would stay in the back of their minds forever. The music was still playing in the background and wouldn’t stop until they were ready to leave that moment together.
They didn’t know a thing about love but they were ready to figure it out together.
They were ready to end up a long song that they have been playing alone to start a new one together.
As they say, if music is the food of love, I beg you, play on. In fact, don't ever stop.
It was, indeed, a lovely night.