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"My brother has always been… lost," big, blond and muscular is saying when Tony enters the conference room. "Untethered."
Tony ignores the faint sting of that, how familiar it feels, and says, "Aren't we all."
Everybody in the room startles and turns towards him. There is big, blond and muscular, Nathalie- pardon, Natasha, SHIELD Agent Clint Barton, Dr. Bruce Banner, big, blond and muscular version two (Tony feels a vicious satisfaction at demoting Captain America merely to second place), and of course Fury. Tony smiles sweetly. "Nicky, I'm so disappointed. You're having a party and didn't invite me."
Fury scowls, displeased but not surprised – topside they probably already told him that Tony landed aboard. "What are you doing here, Stark?" he bellows as Tony strides into the room as if he owns it.
Tony rolls his eyes. "When will you learn that it's pointless trying to keep me from the action?"
One visible eye narrowed, Fury snaps a helpless threat. "Sooner or later we'll catch you in the act."
"You mean you will try," Tony condescends, dropping into a chair and putting his feet on the table with perfect insolence. "As you've been trying for the past what, two years?"
"What's going on?" big, blond and muscular version two asks with confusion.
Fury sighs and rubs his forehead, resigning. "This is Tony Stark aka Iron Man. Apparently he's now part of the team."
Tony smiles angelically. He has absolutely no interest in being part of a team, but he has even less interest in letting Fury forbid him from anything. "Such a pleasure to meet you all."
"It's a pleasure," big, blond and muscular version two says tentatively, dubiously glancing back and forth between Tony and Fury. "I'm-"
"I know who you are," Tony interrupts. "And you, and you, and you," he continues, nodding at Natasha, Fury and Hill. "You, not really, but I don't care." He nods at Barton. SHIELD agent, Tony doesn't expect much there, no matter how brilliant at shooting. "And of course you, Dr. Banner. I read your work on anti-electron collisions, it was breathtaking, and I must say, I'm a big fan of how you turn into a huge green rage monster."
Embarrassed, Banner ducks his head, glancing around the room as if he's worried anybody's going to be surprised and judge him for the Hulk thing. "Uh, thanks."
Tony smiles at him, considerably more honest than any of his previous smiles, but it turns fake again when he turns to the last guy of the round. "You only showed up an hour ago. Thor, was it?"
Big, blond and muscular nods. "I am Thor Odinson of Asgard."
"And the guy you put in a glass cage is your brother? And I gotta say, rarely have I encountered something so beautifully metaphorical, and so breathtakingly ironic considering how completely unaware you seem of the irony." Of course, with that he's referring to Fury and SHIELD, not Thor, he has no idea about Thor's circumstances. He's not impressed by Thor letting this glass cage thing happen, though.
"That is my brother, yes," Thor says after a moment of hesitation during which he tries to detangle Tony's sentence. Tony is used to that sort of thing.
"Sweet. So why did you lock him up? Just because he messed New Mexico up a little? Because there's some other people who've done that and I don't see them locked in a literal glass cage." Tony just can't get over that thing. He'd known of it before, of course, but seeing a person actually in there apparently changes things a lot. Part of him finds it funny, the irony of it, but something about seeing the guy in there makes his hackles rise.
"My brother is dangerous," Thor says earnestly.
He doesn't look like it. Tony has seen the security footage; the guy looks like an animal in a cage, walking in circles, eyes hunted. In addition to the complete exhaustion on his face it looks less like a reasonable precaution and more like cruel paranoia. It makes Tony's teeth grate, he doesn't know why, but the image of the guy in the cage was the last drop; it's why he put on the suit and joined the party.
"Right, so are the rest of us. Apart from hearsay, Nicky, what do you have?"
"How about a destroyed town in New Mexico?" Fury asks sweetly.
"The town where nobody died?" Tony returns, just as sweet. "Some property damage, a couple of injuries mostly resulting from people fleeing recklessly. Same with your cute little base, and that's entirely your fault for trying to capture the guy." Only Thor's arrival had allowed SHIELD to actually capture him. Tony isn't sure what he thinks of Thor yet, but putting his brother in that cage… really doesn't reflect well on him.
"Seven of my agents are in intensive care," Fury grinds out.
"And yet, they'll pull through." Tony abruptly sits up. "You know what, I'm obviously not getting any answers from you, I'll ask the guy himself."
"You should not-" Thor says, alarmed, but Tony is already off. The others scramble to follow him, he's well aware, so he keeps a brisk pace.
"You should be careful," big, blond and muscular version two says, voice tight. He looks annoyed, and look, there's some spirit. "I went up against him, he's-"
"I know, I saw the footage," Tony interrupts carelessly. "Say, you often accost people who haven't even done anything?"
Anger sparks in the guy's eyes and it fills Tony with satisfaction. Unfortunately they don't get to continue the conversation because the door to the room the cage is in opens. Tony steps through, simultaneously turning his head to look at Loki, and freezes.
In the cage, Loki turns to face them, a sneer already on his face, and goes completely still the moment his eyes land on Tony.
Tony's heart is beating strongly against his ribcage, so strong he catches the fleeting thought that the arc reactor might have fallen out of his chest, but when he absent-mindedly reaches up it's still there, hard and body-warm under his fingertips.
This is a mockery, he thinks. It can't be real. Life must be fucking kidding him, seriously? He's thirty-six years old. Everybody, himself right along with them, had long since stopped considering it even remotely likely that he'd ever find his Sentinel. And here Tony is, staring at a guy from another galaxy through inch-thick glass, experiencing all symptoms he's only ever read about before. Elevated beating of the heart, shortness of breath, hot or cold flushes (Tony has both, yippee), complete focusing on his mate. His mate. Jesus fucking Christ. Tony practically feels his whole world shift on its axis.
In the cage, Loki's face speaks volumes; shock, confusion, fear and something that sends a thrill down Tony's spine – a spark of possessiveness, of need, already. Then Loki jolts out of his complete motionlessness and steps towards the glass, pressing the fingertips of both hands against it. Tony remembers the security footage, Fury's words echoing in his ears, "you so much scratch that glass… thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap."
"Open the door," he hears himself say. As if a lever was turned, he's suddenly aware of the world around him again; he sees confused faces but ignores all of them, all questions, focusing as much of his attention as he can spare from Loki right on Fury. "Open the door."
Fury is staring at him, eyes narrowed. "No," he says eventually, like he's testing the waters.
Tony tilts his head. "Open. The door."
"No," Fury says again, not testing anymore.
Tony turns away, looking back at Loki in the cage, who's staring at him with narrowed eyes, gaze flickering once to Fury. He clearly can't hear what's going on outside, but has his suspicions.
"JARVIS," Tony says, walking towards the bridge. Within the cage Loki follows his movements, walking along the glass, not taking his eyes off Tony for one moment. The door opens, JARVIS having taken control – Tony doesn't know if only of this room or the whole ship, and honestly he doesn't care.
Loki jerks as if hit when he can suddenly take the room in with his full senses – can take Tony in. That glass must have cut him off from everything. It's beyond cruel to do that to a Sentinel, and if before Tony has been ambivalent about Thor, now he completely judges him for allowing – even encouraging this.
A hand touches Tony on the shoulder and he jerks away from it, feeling an intense dislike spike up in him; a part of his brain notes that it's a natural reaction towards somebody not his mate touching him right now but most of him is busy turning around to glare at them. It's Barton, and Rogers is holding his wrist, pulling him back. "Are you insane?" Rogers is saying. "You can't interfere with a bonding."
Look at that, Rogers actually has more than two brain cells to rub together. For now, Tony doesn't waste more than an absent thought on it, immediately focusing back on Loki, who is standing in the door of the cage. Somehow he hasn't stepped completely out of it, hasn't tried to approach Tony and wow, Tony has to commend his self-control. From what he's read it's not rare for a Sentinel to completely lose control in the face of meeting his Guide.
Tony walks up to him, suddenly feeling strangely shy. "Hey," he says, voice a little hoarse.
Loki's breath hitches. His face is heartbreaking. "I don't understand," he whispers.
"It's alright," Tony says shakily. "I'll explain." He can't resist; he reaches out and touches Loki's chest. It's covered in leather and metal, too thick to feel his skin, but it still sends Tony's heart racing. They stare at each other, the pupils in Loki's eyes dilated, and Tony feels like there isn't enough air in the room.
Suddenly Loki's gaze wanders past Tony, face abruptly going cold. He puts one hand on Tony's waist and pulls him close, angling his body protectively; for a moment Tony can't even breathe, much less concentrate on anything other but his Sentinel. His Sentinel.
Loki is speaking, a definite snarl in his voice, and Tony is being completely ridiculous; he makes a concerted effort to pay attention to something other than how close Loki is all of a sudden. He does manage to turn his head, but Loki reacts to that by pulling him closer into his chest, and Tony's forehead brushes his chin. The skin on skin contact sort of makes him lose focus again for a second and when he manages to pay attention again all the conversation seems to be already done. Thor is standing in front of them, body turned a bit towards Banner who has a hand on his arm and probably explained what's going on. Or at least Tony assumes as much, because Thor looks terribly confused and Rogers' words should've cleared the whole thing right up, as they did for Barton. Maybe they don't have many Sentinels on where Thor is from. Asgard. It would explain Thor's not understanding Loki. Tony doesn't know anything about them but he knows that much. If Thor did understand his brother, he wouldn't have let them put him in a cage like that, no matter what he's done or not done. Here on Earth they'd call it cruel and unusual punishment.
"Mr. Stark," Banner says. Tony thinks he might've called him before, there's something in his tone of voice, but he clearly didn't hear. When he sees that Tony is tracking Banner smiles briefly at him. "You need privacy. Can you do that?"
Of course he can. Tony turns his head back to Loki, breathes on his neck as he leans in; somehow one of his arms made its way around Loki's waist, he doesn't even remember when, but good thinking there. He curls his free hand in the flap of Loki's coat, feeling cloth and leather and metal against his palm. "Come with me," he murmurs.
Loki nods instinctively, but a moment later hesitation spreads across his face.
"It's safe," Tony assures him. "Nobody will be there but us."
Loki takes a breath, eyes roving over Tony's face, worry and hesitation evident in his expression. It makes Tony ache for him, wonder what happened to make him this wary even in the face of all his instincts clamoring for him to seclude himself with Tony. But eventually Loki nods. "Where?" is all he asks. Hearing his voice clearly, no whisper, not through speakers for the first time sends a strange jolt through Tony's body, a thrill like the big hand in the small of Tony's back, fingers fanned out possessively.
"My house," Tony says, a little confused. "Malibu." His a highly modern, Sentinel-safe, secluded house, away from everybody and everything, at the top of a hill with a breathtaking view. The one he only goes to when he wants to hurt himself because he built it with things in mind he thought would never happen. This.
The fingers in the small of Tony's back flex, and out of the corners of his eyes Tony sees movement – he turns towards it, sees a whirl of colors and is the next moment standing in the living room of his Malibu residence.
Tony gasps in surprise, grip on Loki's coat tightening, but he doesn't get a moment longer to be surprised because suddenly both of Loki's arms are tight around his body, pulling him close. Loki's face lowers to Tony's neck, buries there as he breathes in deeply. With a shiver Tony sinks into him, a needy noise escaping his throat.
He can't believe this is really happening. All his life, Tony has been adrift – untethered, as Thor so aptly put it. Ever since genetic testing became standardized the Sentinel/Guide match-up rate shot up to the early ninety percent; it's highly unusual for a Sentinel to not have found their mate by the time they turn thirty. Most are matched up in their late teens. Tony had thought he was one of those Guides whose Sentinel died before they met. He had thought he'd have to live with that emptiness in him all his life – an emptiness that couldn't be filled by anything and oh, how hard he tried.
And now here he is, with his mate, definitely, truly his mate. Nothing will be easy, not by a long shot, not with what Loki did, with who – and what – he is. But Tony doesn't give a fuck. He'll move heaven and hell to keep him. There's never been anything he had to put all his resources behind; just some of them always sufficed. They won't know what hit them, nobody will, if they try to take Loki from him. Maybe it's not an instinct Tony should have, the protective/possessive shtick is usually a Sentinel thing, but he's been alone for thirty-six years; more than enough time to learn to cope on his own. He hopes it won't be a bad thing. He knows he's not what anyone would call the ideal Guide, but Loki clearly isn't the typical Sentinel either. Maybe they can work something out.
"What is this?" Loki asks. "I feel like you're…"
"Yours," Tony says quickly. "I'm yours."
A needy noise escapes Loki; he tightens his grip on Tony further, almost lifts him off his feet. "Mine," he repeats, tone wondering, wrecked.
"Yours," Tony says again. "And you're mine."
Loki breathes out shakily. "What is this? What's happening? You're doing something to me."
"We call it Sentinel and Guide," Tony says, then pauses. "Do you want something to drink? Food? I don't imagine they fed you well and you look half-starved, to be honest."
"No. Just…" Loki's fingers curl in Tony's shirt and yes, Tony is on board with that. He doesn't want for Loki to ever let go.
"Let's sit down at least, yeah?" By pushing his body into Loki's, Tony steers him towards the sofa. There is a slight snag in his plan when Loki refuses to let go even for long enough to sit down, but Tony solves it by slinging his arms around Loki's shoulders and jumping up, wrapping his legs around his waist. Loki immediately adjusts his grip on him and then slowly sinks down on the sofa, Tony in his lap.
"Shit," Tony sighs, sinking further into Loki's arms. He feels like… like everything is alright now. Like he's complete, or at least in the process of getting there. Loki is all around him, the smell of leather and sweat and things Tony can't identify in his nose, the feel of his silky hair between Tony's fingers that automatically found their way into it, his voice, his breath in Tony's ears. Loki's hands are on his body, holding him close, and he keeps breathing Tony's smell in, face finding its way to Tony's neck again. Imprinting, Tony knows, the thought sending a pleasant shiver through him.
"Sentinel and Guide," Loki eventually says, breath warm on Tony's skin.
"Yeah." Unable to resist any longer, Tony turns his head to press a kiss to Loki's neck. "That's what we call it. You're a Sentinel – that means you have certain instincts and some of your senses are more elevated than other people's, sometimes to the point that they overwhelm you. That's called zone-out."
"Elevated senses," Loki repeats quietly. "I could always see and hear better than the others. I thought it was because-" He falls silent. "They told me to not be so sensitive."
"It has nothing to do with that," Tony says, getting a little angry. "You're bound to have troubles with control. That's what you need a Guide- that's what I'm for. I'm supposed to balance you out, be an anchor for your senses. A baseline."
"I can feel it happening," Loki tells him. "Everything is… congregating around you."
"Yeah, same here." Tony pulls back a little to get a proper look at Loki's face, running his hand over his cheek. Loki's eyes are really green, but the dark shadows under them don't look any less dark up close. "You really look like you could use some sleep."
Loki laughs, a bitter sound that sends a shiver of worry through Tony – for Loki. "There is no sleep for something such as me. Soon Thor will not let you mortals stall him any longer and come for me. Then the Allfather will pass judgment upon me, and it will not be kind."
"No," Tony says, panicking. "No. I can protect you, I can-"
Again Loki laughs, that same, bitter sound. "You cannot protect me from the consequences of my actions."
Tony takes his face, turns it so Loki has to meet his eyes. "I can do anything." Loki falls silent, looking at him, listening, so Tony says it again. "I can do anything. I finally got you and I won't let anybody take you away from me. Nobody is taking you away from me."
For a moment Loki stares at him, eyes a little wide. Then he closes them and just sags into Tony, arms back around his body, face sinking against Tony's shoulder. "Understood," he whispers, sounding a little shaky. He breathes out, slowly and unsteadily, and then he starts to cry.
Not knowing what to do, Tony just wraps his arms tightly around Loki, carding his fingers through his hair. Maybe he should say something but he has no idea what, so he just hopes his presence will be calming enough – his heartbeat in Loki's ears.
"So I gather things didn't go well for you until now," Tony murmurs when Loki eventually calms down. When Loki nods he sighs. "I feel you."
"What do they call you?" Loki asks, voice raspy.
Tony startles, because fuck, yes, they don't know each other at all. "I'm Tony. Tony Stark." He breathes out, sliding his hand through Loki's hair. "We really should get something to drink and eat, yeah?"
Loki just breathes in, rubbing his face against Tony's neck.
"You really need something to eat," Tony repeats. Loki looks like he's not eaten a proper meal in ages. Tony doesn't know what's going on, Thor didn't explain, but it's of secondary importance anyway; all that matters now is for Loki to feel better, mentally as well as physically.
Just when he's about to call out for JARIVS, he hesitates. Long ago when he'd been drunk he'd given JARVIS some instructions; that, should Tony ever find his Sentinel, JARVIS isn't to speak unless addressed. Tony hadn't wanted anything to startle his mate. He'd always pretended the instructions didn't exist, embarrassed about his own sentimentality in the face of reality, but now he's glad for it. Sentinels are territorial, especially during bonding.
In the end, he decides not to mention JARVIS just yet. "Let's go check in the kitchen, yeah?" Normally he just asks JARVIS what's available but he's going to have to be less lazy until he's introduced them.
Loki is absolutely reluctant to let him go but Tony is adamant, instincts kicking in at full force now. He pulls Loki into the kitchen and starts looking through the cupboards, finding only non-perishables in cans until he remembers to check the freezer – and bingo, frozen pizza. Perfect.
"Pizza," he says triumphantly, showing off the boxes. At Loki's uncomprehending face he adds, "You'll like it. It's flat bread with tomato sauce and stuff on it – cheese, tuna and onion, this one, and pepperoni the other one." He puts them in the oven and then gets a bottle of water he found in the fridge. Pouring two glasses, he hands one to Loki, but Loki puts it aside without a word and instead draws Tony close again. All the while Tony bustled around the kitchen Loki stood at the counter, hands clenched around the rim of it, not taking his eyes off Tony even for a second.
"I don't know why-" Loki says, nose at Tony's neck again, drawing a deep breath.
"It's alright," Tony soothes, curling his fingers in Loki's hair again. "It's instinct. We're bonding. We're going to need to be close to each other for a couple of weeks. You won't be able to stand anybody else being around me for a while. You'll continue needing to establish your territory."
"My territory," Loki echoes. "You."
"Me," Tony confirms, thrilled at Loki knowing it already.
Slowly releasing his breath, Loki lets Tony up a little and drinks the water once Tony starts drinking his own. He drinks like he's starving, one glass, a second when Tony refills, half of a third. Tony can't resist touching him once he's done, cupping his face and rubbing his thumb over the pale, almost waxy skin. He should be confused, scared, unsettled, and he is these things a little but mostly he feels worried for Loki and like everything makes sense now. Like finally, life has a point.
"Who are you?" Loki asks quietly, staring at him.
"I can make you-" Tony licks his lips. "Okay, don't freak out, he's not a real person." When Loki straightens, eyes narrowing, Tony hastily moves towards him, pressing their bodies together so Loki is touching him, hoping it'll have a calming effect. "I built an artificial intelligence – a sort of autonomic computer."
"I do not understand what you are saying," Loki enunciates carefully.
"He's not a person – he's the house, basically," Tony explains. "He's a servant. I call him JARVIS, standing for Just Another Rather Very Intelligent System. Say hello, JARVIS."
"Hello, sir," JARVIS says.
The vague frown on Loki's face clears. "He is not real," he says.
"Yes." Relieved, Tony smiles at him. "He can give you a summary of who I am."
"I would rather you tell me yourself," Loki says. "What do you do?"
Great, that's what Tony was trying to prevent. He can babble about himself for hours but this is different, this is his Sentinel. "Uh, I'm an inventor. I make awesome technology. Also I sometimes put on a brilliant suit of armor and fly around and kick ass." Tony licks his lips, looks away. "About a year ago the guy who was almost like a father to me – primarily because my own father didn't give a fuck about me, but also because he died – hired some terrorists to kill me. They kidnapped me instead and tried to force me to make weapons for them, with torture and all. I played along and built a suit instead. When it was finished I broke out and killed them. Eventually."
Loki looks Tony over as if he's checking for damage, eyes narrowed. "I feel the need to completely obliterate anyone who even thinks of harming you."
"Hm." Tony shifts into Loki, rubs his cheek against his. He can't even put to words what it does to him to hear that. It's not that he needs the protection – he just needs the sentiment. "I feel the same way about you."
Hand finding its way back into the small of Tony's back, Loki pulls him close again. He looks lost, a frown pulling his brows together. When Tony takes Loki's free hand and presses a kiss to the back of it before folding it between his Loki visibly shivers. "I don't understand any of this," he confesses quietly, resting his forehead against Tony's.
"Me neither," Tony replies, half truthfully. He knows what's happening but god, he doesn't understand. "We'll figure it out together. First we'll get you some food and some rest." Tightening his grip on Loki's hand, he adds, "And some time with me. To bond. Everything is changing for both of us."
"What are you, anchor?" Loki asks, squeezing Tony's hands back.
"Guide," Tony says. "I have heightened instincts to balance out yours – you have the protective, possessive instincts, of everyone you consider part of your clan. My especially pronounced instincts are nurturing, sustaining, providing. I also have limited telepathic abilities, in the sense that I can lower spikes in negative emotions. I'm sort of a neutralizer for heightened negative feelings. Traditionally speaking, my role is more maternal while yours is more paternal." And that's the way people instinctively react towards him as well – most people positively, flocking towards him and seeking his approval, but other people react negatively towards these instincts. Fury is one of the latter.
"Nurturing," Loki repeats, clearly amused as he glances towards the oven.
Tony flushes. "Shut up, it's instinct, and you certainly need it."
Loki immediately turns serious again. "I was not mocking you."
"No, yes. I mean, people sometimes do that. I can't help it, I don't like it when people look hungry." Lots of incredibly thin women have found that out over the years when Tony took them away not for sex, but for dinner. In Afghanistan Yinsen had to practically force him to eat his share of the sparse meals they were provided with.
"I look hungry?" Loki asks.
"Well, yeah. I mean, it's sorta obvious. And exhausted." Tony reaches up, cups Loki's face and gently runs his thumb over the shadow under Loki's left eye. "Like you could sleep a month."
Loki laughs, and it almost sounds normal now. "Yes."
With a nod, Tony lets his hand glide into Loki's hair. He wants to kiss him, suddenly; the urge surprises him, not because he feels it but because it's the first time he feels it, its absence before now in hindsight starkly lacking, surprising.
He doesn't, not yet. Instead he steps back, puts Loki's hand on his hip as he turns away and makes for the oven. Loki follows his suggestion, keeps his hand on him as Tony gets the pizzas out of the oven and cuts them into eighths. Then he brings the pizzas and bottle of water into the living room; he wants to be close to Loki when they eat and that's difficult in the kitchen with its bar stools.
Loki seems a mix of amused and relieved when Tony seats them on the sofa and almost climbs into Loki's lap, he sits so close to him. Tony distracts him with the pizza, which Loki seems to like well enough, though that might just be the hunger; at first he more nibbles it but when Tony takes a big, uncouth bite out of his own piece he gives up all decorum and practically devours his pizza. It takes some convincing but eventually Tony can talk him into eating half of Tony's as well. He's not really hungry anyway, only made two because he'd figured Loki would be uncomfortable with Tony just staring at him while he ate.
Once all the pizza and water are gone Tony feels a little better about Loki, but not yet completely. "Good," he says, touching Loki's cheek again. He feels the need to keep touching Loki, preferably skin on skin, and he's learning not to curb it. "Would you rather bathe now or sleep?"
"I gather you are asking about the order I would prefer, not whether I would like to do these things to begin with," Loki says dryly.
Tony frowns. "You don't have to do either if you don't want to." He just… feels like he really, really needs it.
For a moment, Loki looks at him. "Your… JARVIS is guarding?"
"Yes. Well, sort of, he's not watching us like a stalker, but… he's alert. We're safe," Tony assures him. "Nobody can enter without JARVIS knowing, and he'll let us know if anybody approaches. But nobody will."
Loki sends him a dry look and rises. "I will put up a ward around the house." Without another word he teleports away.
Tony feels like the floor drops away from under him. He sits up, whole body tense. "JARVIS?"
"He is outside," JARVIS reassures him, "By the north-east wall. He appears to be chanting, but not in any language I am familiar with."
Taking a deep breath, Tony nods, calming down a little, but not much. He doesn't like Loki being out of his sight, it makes the hair in the back of his neck stand up. "Is he alright?"
"He does not look… happy," JARVIS says hesitantly; he hates having to make guesses or estimations not based on clear facts. "He is at the east-south wall now." JARVIS continues to relay live what Loki's doing; teleporting to each wall, touching it, but JARVIS can't detect what he's doing, just that it must be some sort of spell.
After about ten minutes Loki returns to Tony's side, looking pale and sweaty, a stubborn spark in his eyes. Immediately he draws Tony to him, burying his face in his neck and breathing him in. Tony wraps both arms around him and holds on tight, heartbeat going down as he can finally breathe again.
"I do not like this," Loki says.
That stings; Tony bites his lower lip and pushes the hurt down. Loki is completely new to the whole concept of bonding, he's been independent his whole life – who knows how many decades, centuries. Of course he would be less than thrilled at being so dependent on another person all of a sudden. "It'll get better," he promises, voice a little hoarse. "It's like this only at the beginning." He should mention the part where for the rest of Tony's life Loki will gravitate towards him, always feel the need to return to his side (and vice versa), but he just can't. Too great is the fear that Loki will decide he can't do this and leave. It would be a complete precedent, there's no record in history of a Sentinel (or a Guide) ever having refused their mate, but that doesn't mean it isn't possible. There's also no record in history of an unbounded Sentinel being several hundred years old after all, or not from Earth.
"Your heartbeat is elevated," Loki murmurs, one hand going to the back of Tony's head. "Why?"
"Don't worry about it now." Tony buries his face in Loki's neck, feeling leather and metal against his skin. "Bed or bath?"
Loki pulls back and frowns at him. "I do not think it is a good sign for you to lie to me this early."
With which, yeah, he has a point. "I wasn't lying, just trying to distract you. I'm… just worried you'll leave me." Tony ducks his head, doesn't look at Loki's face. "I can't help it, it's instinct." Or perhaps genetics. Scientists are still discussing that.
"I… have no intention of doing that," Loki tells him, hand sliding from Tony's hair to his jaw, thumb on his chin. He looks at Tony's face, expression thoughtful. "I have no idea why, but I truly do not. The thought of leaving you alone galls me."
Tony doesn't say it's instinct again.
He manages to coax Loki into bed, mostly by bodily walking him towards his bedroom. Loki keeps his arms tight around him but looks around attentively to take in his surroundings. When he sees the bed he stills, throwing Tony an unreadable look. Tony figures they're both thinking the same thing, but by tacit agreement neither of them makes any sort of overture. Though Loki does move back a little to give him room and stares when Tony starts to take off his clothes. Carelessly, Tony throws everything around the room until he's bare except for his boxerbriefs. Then he stills, keeping quiet as Loki looks at him from top to bottom, eyes and attention completely focused on him.
Tony licks his lips, feeling both insecure and strangely empowered by Loki's gaze. Immediately Loki zooms in on his lips, staring at them for a moment before the corner of his mouth curls up as he lowers his gaze and starts the highly complicated process of dismantling his own clothes. It takes so long Tony would grow bored if it weren't – hello! – his incredibly hot Sentinel taking his clothes off.
Loki's skin is largely unblemished, no bruises; there are scars of course and Loki looks too thin, but nothing immediately worrying. And Tony can get a good impression of that because apparently the Aesir don't believe in underwear, and Loki drops all his clothes without a hint of shyness.
Not that shyness is required, or anything. Tony's Sentinel is drop-dead gorgeous. He'll be more so once Tony gets some flesh on his bones – and once he gets some sleep to chase the exhaustion away that has clearly settled in his bones.
With that thought firmly on his mind, Tony ushers Loki towards the bed, pulls the sheets away and waits for Loki to climb in before following immediately. JARVIS dims the windows for them as they curl up together, Loki pulling Tony close and wrapping his arms around him like he never intends to let go.
Tony hadn't expected it, but apparently being so close to Loki has a calming effect on Tony, because he drifts off to sleep even before Loki does. He wakes up some indefinite time later, still tangled up close with Loki, who stirs immediately when Tony moves. It's not completely dark, JARVIS allowing a very faint light to come in through the windows, just enough for Tony to make out Loki's features.
"Hey," Tony says, voice a bit hoarse from sleep.
"Hello," Loki replies, carding his fingers through Tony's hair. "You have a calming effect."
Tony laughs. "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you." He moves closer, presses his forehead to Loki's and closes his eyes, breathing in. He feels incredibly comfortable, warm; relaxed in a way he hasn't been in a very long time, if ever. The mood between them is intimate and Loki's hand is running up and down Tony's back, affectionate now where before his touching had had more of a possessive note.
"What happens now?" Tony asks eventually.
Loki huffs a laugh. "You have been the one with a plan so far, have you not?"
"Well, my plan is more immediate than long-term," Tony explains, shifting and wrapping his arm around Loki's neck, pressing their bodies together from chest to hip, legs tangling. "It includes baths and more food. Also making sure nobody will try to take you away from me."
For a moment Loki goes still, not even breathing. Then he takes Tony's face into his hands and presses a kiss to his lips, and then one to his forehead. "Yes," he says eventually, a sound of relief and promise.
"I missed you." The words escape Tony before he knows them. It makes him a little breathless, but they're true, so he says it again, a conscious decision this time. "I really missed you."
Loki makes a noise low in his throat, swallows, takes a breath. "I as well," he then whispers, like he's scared of the words. "I never even knew to miss you, but I did."
There's nothing Tony wants to do more right now than kiss him, but he refrains, instead pushes himself even closer to Loki's body. He wraps his arms tightly around Loki's chest and buries his face in Loki's collarbone. In reaction Loki cradles Tony's head and goes still, just breathing. Tony can't be sure but he thinks he's imprinting, using scent or maybe hearing to take Tony's body in. The thought fills him with warmth, like finally he belongs to someone. He knows it's not that simple, it will take a while until Loki has completely adapted to Tony (not to mention Tony to Loki, but at least he doesn't have five senses that need to take another person in, and not hundreds of years of living without anyone), but still, it's a process and it's definitely underway.